1. Hey, hey!Copy !req
2. Whoa!Copy !req
3. - Right in there.
- There he is!Copy !req
4. I've gotta breathe, Taylor!Copy !req
5. - How you doing?
- Good!Copy !req
6. Thanks for coming by. What do you think?Copy !req
7. Well, I think it looks incredible.Copy !req
8. - I mean...
- Yeah. Come on, I'll show you around.Copy !req
9. I'll introduce you later,
but that's, uh... that's Erica.Copy !req
10. That's, uh... That's Rick. This is our gym.Copy !req
11. Oh, you got a gym.
Oh yeah. Oh yeah!Copy !req
12. Always wanted a gym at work.Copy !req
13. Get a fucking pump on
while you're working.Copy !req
14. Oh, it's the best.
It is the best. That's why I did it.Copy !req
15. This is Katie. Katie's actually
a former Australian rugby player.Copy !req
16. Has a few dents in her helmet.
Rugby's a tough sport.Copy !req
17. But Katie, Katie?Copy !req
18. Katie? Hey.
This is Will from Valley Forge.Copy !req
19. Oh, hi, Will.Copy !req
20. Taylor's told me so much about you.Copy !req
21. Can't wait to absolutely
fuck shit up with you.Copy !req
22. That's right.
That's the mentality there.Copy !req
23. Isn't it funny
how she talks?Copy !req
24. - I actually don't feel super comfortable—
- Ah, it's okay. It's okay.Copy !req
25. - Hey, let's talk about the future, right?
- Sure.Copy !req
26. - Come on.
- Okay.Copy !req
27. All right! Holy shit.Copy !req
28. - Dave, this sucks.
- What?Copy !req
29. Yeah, dude,
it's like a charging station for losers.Copy !req
30. That's what they said about Steve Jobs
and that Facebook pussy.Copy !req
31. This... This is the future.
These people know what's up.Copy !req
32. - Yeah?
- Yes.Copy !req
33. You think this is like Apple?Copy !req
34. I think it's exact... Yes, I...Copy !req
35. There is a spirit of innovation
running through this tent.Copy !req
36. You can feel it.Copy !req
37. It's gonna be awesome.Copy !req
38. All right. Whatever.Copy !req
39. Tradition.Copy !req
40. Loyalty.Copy !req
41. Family.Copy !req
42. TakaTaka.
All right, motherfuckers!Copy !req
43. TakaTaka Teflo-Max rubber
is the strongest in the industry.Copy !req
44. The negative reviews online
are only from haters and competitors...Copy !req
45. those who can't compete
with our Teflo-Max technology.Copy !req
46. But the competition will pay for this.Copy !req
47. Oh, wow! Okay!Copy !req
48. Pretty inspired stuff.Copy !req
49. Sorry! Sorry.Copy !req
50. Sorry.Copy !req
51. Does anybody have any questions?Copy !req
52. Yes, the young man in the hat.Copy !req
53. The sandwiches from the buffet
made me sick.Copy !req
54. You're lying!
- The sandwiches are fine, everybody.Copy !req
55. I... I had one. It was—
Delicious.Copy !req
56. Does anybody else
have any other questions?Copy !req
57. Uh, yeah.
- Yes, sir.Copy !req
58. Can I... Can I get a whole...
Can we get a shipment yesterday?Copy !req
59. Of course you can!Copy !req
60. Tomorrow!Copy !req
61. All right, no more questions.Copy !req
62. Wow.
- Do you need a drink? Anything?Copy !req
63. No.
- No?Copy !req
64. - You did it!
- Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty cool, right?Copy !req
65. - The dream come true.
- It is a dream.Copy !req
66. So let's talk. What are you looking for?
What do you want? What's your timeline?Copy !req
67. - Tell me everything.
- Well, I can start immediately.Copy !req
68. Great!Copy !req
69. I guess, just,
you know, what can you offer?Copy !req
70. Is that weird?Copy !req
71. No, no, not at all.Copy !req
72. But the question is really,
what... what are you looking for?Copy !req
73. What do you need?Copy !req
74. Yeah, I guess, uh,Copy !req
75. insurance?Copy !req
76. Health insurance?Copy !req
77. Yeah, uh, we give our employees
health insurance, yes.Copy !req
78. Not our clients.Copy !req
79. Oh shit.Copy !req
80. I thought you were hiring us
to do marketing.Copy !req
81. No. No, I don't have any money for that.Copy !req
82. I... I thought, because you said,Copy !req
83. "I still wanna work with you,"
that that meant—Copy !req
84. Ye...Copy !req
85. Yeah.Copy !req
86. Oh, Will, I'm sor...Copy !req
87. Are... If you're looking for a job, I...Copy !req
88. I can't.Copy !req
89. No. N... No.Copy !req
90. Go cut it.Copy !req
91. Oh my God, that's some
serious fucking egg on my face.Copy !req
92. "Yeah, I'd like a job."There is no job."
"Okay. See you, Taylor. Good seeing you."Copy !req
93. And that receptionist, what was with that?Copy !req
94. "Hello. Australia. Didgeridoo."Copy !req
95. Damn it!Copy !req
96. Good grief,
I didn't even wanna work there!Copy !req
97. Oh, fuck you!Copy !req
98. This is a disaster.
I... I can change it.Copy !req
99. You're an embarrassment
to the family,Copy !req
100. to the company, and to me.Copy !req
101. - Can I get—
- No! Stand back!Copy !req
102. I wasted a lot of money on you,
on this project.Copy !req
103. I wanna fix it.
- No! I've had it!Copy !req
104. - Christ, what the hell was that all about?
- My dad fucking hates me.Copy !req
105. Ah, stop. Everybody thinks
their dad hates them.Copy !req
106. No. He says it.Copy !req
107. He points and he says it.Copy !req
108. Shit, really?Copy !req
109. As a kid, my dad used to poke me
in the stomach with a Wiffle ball bat.Copy !req
110. - Said he liked to see my tits jiggle.
- Shut the fuck up.Copy !req
111. You better close this Valley Forge account
or you're fired.Copy !req
112. - Fired?
- Yeah. He hates you too.Copy !req
113. - He doesn't even know me.
- It's 'cause you're fat.Copy !req
114. Listen, my dad's nuts, okay?
My job is on the line too, buddy.Copy !req
115. All right.
- All right?Copy !req
116. - Lock in.
- Okay.Copy !req
117. - Fucking lock in!
- Jesus Christ, all right!Copy !req
118. Okay?
- Yeah.Copy !req
119. Bye.Copy !req
120. Who the fuck shit in his hot pot?Copy !req
121. Jesus Christ. Where the fuck is Dave?Copy !req
122. Dave!Copy !req
123. And boss's son! Glad you could make it.Copy !req
124. It's Shane.
All right.Copy !req
125. You guys coming to the happy hour later?
Huh? These Koreans pull out all the stops.Copy !req
126. Pricey cocktails, mini-weenies on a stick.
You name it.Copy !req
127. - It's fun. All on us.
- Can I bring a date?Copy !req
128. - You can bring a hooker, for all I care.
- Hey.Copy !req
129. Weird kid.Copy !req
130. So are you still pissed?Copy !req
131. Oh, about the blackmail?
No, no, no! I'm over it.Copy !req
132. Of course I'm still pissed,
you fat dickhead!Copy !req
133. Do you know them?
So we go to a strip club...Copy !req
134. Yeah, Pete and Dave.Copy !req
135. - Yeah, I know 'em.
- Hmm. The Hogs.Copy !req
136. - The Hogs?
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
137. You call 'em the Hogs?Copy !req
138. They are trouble.Copy !req
139. Stay away.Copy !req
140. Don't be mad 'cause you can't keep
your dick in your pants.Copy !req
141. I have kept my dick in my pants
for eight months, Pete. I'm a changed man.Copy !req
142. Dave, guys like us don't change.Copy !req
143. We are tigers in the circus.Copy !req
144. You can dress us up,Copy !req
145. you can have us jump through flaming hoops
all you want,Copy !req
146. but one day, we're gonna slip that leash,Copy !req
147. and we're gonna bite
one of those gay guys on the throat.Copy !req
148. That's how it is.Copy !req
149. And right now,
I got my teeth around your neck.Copy !req
150. So get your buddy
to sign on the dotted line,Copy !req
151. or I'm gonna bite down so hardCopy !req
152. that you're gonna be jacking off
in a Best Western by Sunday.Copy !req
153. Get the fuck off me, Pete.Copy !req
154. Try the pancakes. They're terrible.Copy !req
155. Now, this car is outfitted
with True Thread tires, which suck dick.Copy !req
156. Not to mention,
they're a bunch of rat motherfuckers.Copy !req
157. So take it for a spin around the course,
come back, and I will show youCopy !req
158. what the TakaTaka experience
is all about, huh?Copy !req
159. - Okay.
- Let's do it.Copy !req
160. Got this one in the bag, boys.Copy !req
161. Got it in the bag. Huh?Copy !req
162. I gotta be honest,
that commercial sucked dick.Copy !req
163. Look, the commercial was... it was artistic...Copy !req
164. And you stood up and clapped
like a fucking idiot.Copy !req
165. Oh! Wow!Copy !req
166. - Hydroplane.
- Yeah, it slipped a little.Copy !req
167. Yes!Copy !req
168. See? What'd I tell you?Copy !req
169. They suck. They suck.
They suck.Copy !req
170. Holy fuck, dude. These are unstable tires.Copy !req
171. Dude, they're normal tires.
Why are you fucking shitting on them?Copy !req
172. You didn't feel that slippage?
What are you talking about?Copy !req
173. Oh fuck! Are you kidding me?
What?Copy !req
174. If there was a kid, we killed him.
- We skidded a little, but it's normal.Copy !req
175. Jesus Christ.
What?Copy !req
176. I think we can safely say
that was a, what? C-minus at best?Copy !req
177. This whole place is a fucking C-minus.Copy !req
178. You know what's not a C-minus?
A little cocktail party after.Copy !req
179. Yeah, yeah.
Oh, I'm gonna call Jill.Copy !req
180. Who's Jill?Copy !req
181. Jill is the love of my life,
and she's so pretty,Copy !req
182. and your bitch-ass
is gonna be jealous when you see her.Copy !req
183. I'm not jealous.
I know you are.Copy !req
184. I'm working things out
with my beautiful wife.Copy !req
185. Ah!Copy !req
186. Hey.
Hey. Did you get my text?Copy !req
187. It's last second,
but you get a babysitter we could—Copy !req
188. Yeah, I can't, uh, make that.Copy !req
189. That's all right.
Uh, maybe some other time.Copy !req
190. I don't think I can do this.Copy !req
191. Like, you can't do this phone call
right now?Copy !req
192. No, Shane. I... Uh, I'm sayingCopy !req
193. I don't think
that this is going to work out.Copy !req
194. What? Why?Copy !req
195. Well... Well, like, a bunch of reasons. Uh...Copy !req
196. Okay, one of which is you are sleeping
with my babysitter's roommate.Copy !req
197. What?Copy !req
198. - Who told you that?
- Cara told me that.Copy !req
199. Did she... Did Cara tell you
about the huge orgasm I gave her?Copy !req
200. No, Shane,
why would she mention that to me?Copy !req
201. I don't know.Copy !req
202. Maybe it would make you
more interested in, like,Copy !req
203. my capabilities as a lover.Copy !req
204. It's not about that. It's like...Copy !req
205. It's fine that you're seeing other people.
That's good.Copy !req
206. I'm... I'm seeing other people.
I'm having orgasms.Copy !req
207. What?Copy !req
208. I'm not... I'm not putting all my eggs
in this one basket.Copy !req
209. - I am!
- Don't, Shane!Copy !req
210. I'm... You're... Oh my, you're... you're...Copy !req
211. You are a mess, okay? You're a mess.Copy !req
212. And I'm sorry
that that's a mean thing to say,Copy !req
213. but, like... you get it. Right?Copy !req
214. You're such a fun time.
You're... You're such a good time.Copy !req
215. And you can do that, and I... I can't.
I cannot afford to be a mess, you know?Copy !req
216. I have two kids, okay?Copy !req
217. If I'm a mess, then suddenly,
they're messes, and I can't have that.Copy !req
218. Right?Copy !req
219. Shane?Copy !req
220. Oh my God. You're gonna kill yourself.
Shane, please don't kill yourself.Copy !req
221. No, I'm not gonna fucking kill myself.
You should kill yourself.Copy !req
222. - What?
- Nothing.Copy !req
223. I didn't mean that.
I'm sorry. I do love you, I think.Copy !req
224. Okay. Hmm...Copy !req
225. Fuck!Copy !req
226. I'm... I'm sorry, dude.Copy !req
227. What the fuck was that?Copy !req
228. - Fuck.
- Fuck.Copy !req
229. What the fuck are you doing here?Copy !req
230. Hey.Copy !req
231. What's up?Copy !req
232. Nothing. Just thought I'd come by,
see if I could help.Copy !req
233. No, we're good.Copy !req
234. Well, that's what riding
on absolute dog shit feels like.Copy !req
235. - Hey, Will.
- Oh, hey, Pete. Fuck you.Copy !req
236. Okay. What'd you guys think?
Those tires sucked. Am I right?Copy !req
237. Just kinda everything sucks.Copy !req
238. Okay. Well, why don't you guys
come with me,Copy !req
239. and I'll show you
what TakaTaka's all about. Let's go.Copy !req
240. Safety, comfort, reliability.Copy !req
241. What?Copy !req
242. Yo!
Dave, what if I—Copy !req
243. No, I got it.
Well, I'll—Copy !req
244. No, this is...Copy !req
245. Hop in there, big boy.
Thank you.Copy !req
246. Goddammit!Copy !req
247. - So you're just not gonna talk to me?
- I'm fucking busy.Copy !req
248. - Then I'm gonna go.
- No, I'm fucking gonna go.Copy !req
249. Nobody's fucking going!
Let's do the track.Copy !req
250. - What's going on with you?
- Nothing.Copy !req
251. You've been trying
to get us to buy these tires all day.Copy !req
252. You were shitting on the other ones.
Now you are trying to force us to do this.Copy !req
253. - Why are you doing this?
- Pete's fucking blackmailing me, okay?Copy !req
254. - Shut the fuck up!
- Fuck you, all right?Copy !req
255. He took me to a club.Copy !req
256. He took a picture of me
sucking a stripper's tits.Copy !req
257. - He'll show Barb if we don't close this.
- So that's why we're here.Copy !req
258. You tricked me into coming
'cause you were caught being horny again?Copy !req
259. Un-friggin'-real.Copy !req
260. It is, dude. This company fucking sucks.
These tires suck.Copy !req
261. - You don't even fucking know that!
- Yeah, you're right. Let's find out.Copy !req
262. Whoa!
- Whoa! What the fuck?Copy !req
263. - Whoa, whoa, whoa! Shane! Shane!
- It's 20 miles an hour, dumb-ass!Copy !req
264. What are you doing? Jesus!
Testing the fucking tires.Copy !req
265. Jesus!Copy !req
266. Goddamn it!Copy !req
267. - I just swallowed my fucking nuts!
- Shane!Copy !req
268. Jesus!
Whoa!Copy !req
269. Shane, what's going on?
What's gotten into you?Copy !req
270. Slow down, man!
Slow down!Copy !req
271. Yeah, fucking Jill broke up with me, dude.Copy !req
272. Your little book was right.
She was hot and cold.Copy !req
273. - I'm sorry, man.
- Oh, water hazard!Copy !req
274. Holy fuck!Copy !req
275. Fuck, fuck, fuck!Copy !req
276. This thing's hydroplaning.
- No shit.Copy !req
277. You're doing 85 in an Acme parking lot,
you moron.Copy !req
278. - Shane!
- How about this?Copy !req
279. What the fuck?Copy !req
280. Shane! What the... What the...Copy !req
281. Shane! Stop!Copy !req
282. - Come on!
- Let's take this on the road.Copy !req
283. - No! No!
- No!Copy !req
284. - Do not take this car on the road!
- Stay in the course!Copy !req
285. See how it goes on a road.
I'll throw up!Copy !req
286. Where the fuck are you going?Copy !req
287. Go back, you motherfucker. Stop!
What the fuck is wrong with you, dude?Copy !req
288. Shane!
Fucking stop. What the fuck?Copy !req
289. This asshole is going slow.
No.Copy !req
290. No, do not pass this car!
Stop!Copy !req
291. No! Shane, listen.
I didn't take that other job.Copy !req
292. And the reason I didn't take it
is because there wasn't even another job.Copy !req
293. There was no offer. I'm an idiot.Copy !req
294. We're both fucking idiots,
and we're both gonna die alone,Copy !req
295. and our business is fucked.Copy !req
296. No, we're not gonna die alone.Copy !req
297. - I love you. And you're handsome and tall.
- Shane, pothole.Copy !req
298. And I hear hair implants
are great nowadays. Just please!Copy !req
299. Pothole!
- You trying to make me cry?Copy !req
300. - Shane, pothole!
- Oh shit!Copy !req
301. Fuck!Copy !req
302. Jesus Christ!Copy !req
303. Sorry about that, fellas.Copy !req
304. What the fuck?Copy !req
305. There's no sidewall damage.Copy !req
306. What?Copy !req
307. There's no sidewall damage.
I was going 50. These should be flat.Copy !req
308. Holy shit, are these actually good tires?Copy !req
309. I told ya.Copy !req
310. So, uh...Copy !req
311. Good tires?Copy !req
312. Yeah. Yeah, they were really...
We were surprised.Copy !req
313. - Surprised?
- Yeah, I mean, your marketing is terrible.Copy !req
314. Well, marketing is very difficult, so...Copy !req
315. It is. Thank you, Will.Copy !req
316. - It's not.
- No, it's not.Copy !req
317. But your tires are great,Copy !req
318. and, uh, I think we're gonna take you up
on that deal.Copy !req
319. What deal?Copy !req
320. Yeah, your son told Dave
we could get TakaTaka at cost.Copy !req
321. Below cost, actually.
No, no!Copy !req
322. What? I would never make a deal like that.Copy !req
323. Why would I do that?Copy !req
324. You told me at the strip club.Copy !req
325. That's when we were at the strip club
together, remember?Copy !req
326. I believe in those tires too much
to give them at discount.Copy !req
327. And whoever I do business withCopy !req
328. should believe in them
just as much as I do.Copy !req
329. - Yeah!
- Shut up!Copy !req
330. Hey, we respect that.Copy !req
331. If you don't believe in your product,
who will? What's the point, you know?Copy !req
332. It's like when a girl's
only charging three bucks for OnlyFans.Copy !req
333. Am I buying pussy or gum?Copy !req
334. If you wanna get your name out there,
you gotta advertise, right?Copy !req
335. You gotta be everywhere.
So how about this?Copy !req
336. You pay our lease.Copy !req
337. No, no, no, no, no!
I'm serious. I'm serious. I'm serious.Copy !req
338. You pay the lease at all of our stores,
and we'll carry TakaTaka exclusively.Copy !req
339. I mean, think about it.Copy !req
340. If you guys wanna break into America,
we're kind of perfect for that.Copy !req
341. - We're about as American as it gets.
- Homer Simpson.Copy !req
342. We don't need a discount on tires.
We need something big, and so do you guys.Copy !req
343. Businessman.Copy !req
344. Before we settle anything,
I do have one term.Copy !req
345. Pete, let me see your phone.Copy !req
346. Give me the fucking phone, Pete.Copy !req
347. - What's the code?
- 6186.Copy !req
348. - Got that picture of Dave sucking tit?
- It's under "All I Want for Christmas."Copy !req
349. "All I Want for Christmas"?
God, I hate you.Copy !req
350. I'm deleting them.Copy !req
351. Saved one for myself.Copy !req
352. A little insurance.Copy !req
353. So, what do you think?Copy !req
354. One year.Copy !req
355. - Do it for one year.
- One year?Copy !req
356. Deal. Absolutely.Copy !req
357. - Yes!
- All right!Copy !req
358. Thank you.
- Thank you.Copy !req
359. Hey, man!
All right!Copy !req
360. What's up?Copy !req
361. Whoo-hoo-hoo!
- Thank you.Copy !req
362. Get the fuck out of here,
Pete, you fucking scumbag.Copy !req
363. That lease shit was great.Copy !req
364. - Thanks, man.
- Good thinking, man.Copy !req
365. Now we just gotta sell Phil.Copy !req
366. Fuck.Copy !req
367. Dad, Dad, Dad, wait!Copy !req
368. Whoa, Dad! Dad, wait!Copy !req
369. Hey, guys!Copy !req
370. Can I get a ride?Copy !req
371. Yeah.Copy !req
372. - No!
- I guess.Copy !req
373. Why not?
- What? I can't hear you.Copy !req
374. Oh, no, no, no,
we're just going straight home.Copy !req