1. Previously on Tires…Copy !req
2. You're here one year, have one good idea,
and you think you can do my job?Copy !req
3. - Do we need a loan? Shit's good.
- Shit is good, but could be great.Copy !req
4. - Would you wanna go out sometime?
- Sure, yeah.Copy !req
5. - Yeah?
- Yeah.Copy !req
6. Nice.Copy !req
7. Oh shit. Just got a text from my dad.
He's in town.Copy !req
8. Maybe you and I should try
working together again.Copy !req
9. We tried that once.Copy !req
10. That was a long time ago. I was a dick.Copy !req
11. - I wasn't flirting with a waitress.
- Oh, yes, you were.Copy !req
12. I'm gonna head out.Copy !req
13. He's been telling me everything
about the business.Copy !req
14. I'm very impressed
with what you're doing around here.Copy !req
15. Hey, remember that deal we talked about?
I think we're gonna do it.Copy !req
16. Holy shit, dude.Copy !req
17. There is no loan.Copy !req
18. - What?
- The bank said yes.Copy !req
19. I'm saying no.Copy !req
20. He's canceling the order.Copy !req
21. Dude, you fucked me.
I thought we were friends.Copy !req
22. We are friends.Copy !req
23. My dad said yes
to every business opportunity,Copy !req
24. and look how that fuckin' turned out.Copy !req
25. Hi, Uncle Phil. I have some business
I would like to discuss with you.Copy !req
26. Don't tell Shane
I left you this voicemail.Copy !req
27. Wow!Copy !req
28. We just made another million bucks.Copy !req
29. Hey, there you go!Copy !req
30. These are the best marketing ideas
the world has ever seen.Copy !req
31. I told you, you fucking idiot.Copy !req
32. You're the best boss I ever had.
Can I buy you lunch?Copy !req
33. Yeah, Kilah. Great idea.Copy !req
34. Hi, Will.Copy !req
35. It's me, your girlfriend.Copy !req
36. Oh, my girlfriend?Copy !req
37. I just came in to sayCopy !req
38. that I think you might be giving me
too many orgasms.Copy !req
39. Oh, no, boo-boo.
We'll just have to give you a few more.Copy !req
40. All right. That's…Copy !req
41. Come on.Copy !req
42. What? That's my girlfriend.Copy !req
43. - That's not your fucking girlfriend.
- Shane.Copy !req
44. - Oh no.
- No. No, no.Copy !req
45. - Oh, then I think I have to leave.
- Think about the orgasms I've given you.Copy !req
46. I just remembered that I don't think
you've ever given me one orgasm.Copy !req
47. - No, no, no. Sh, sh, sh!
- Goodbye, Will.Copy !req
48. - Come back!
- Bye.Copy !req
49. Bye, you limp-dick twat!Copy !req
50. Wake up!Copy !req
51. Will! Can you come out here, please?Copy !req
52. - Mitchell.
- Hey, what's up, Will?Copy !req
53. - Wait. Is that today?
- Yeah.Copy !req
54. - Shoot.
- Hey, Mitchell.Copy !req
55. - What's up, baby?
- Hey. How are you?Copy !req
56. I'm good. I'm good.
Okay, guys, this is Dex and Frankie.Copy !req
57. Hey, hey, hey! Stop playing!
Stop playing. Hey!Copy !req
58. S… stop!Copy !req
59. I'mma take this belt off. Stop playing.Copy !req
60. What's up, boys?
That's nice. Free labor for the day?Copy !req
61. This is Shane. He's gonna teach you
what it's like working in a real shop.Copy !req
62. Going over brakes,
tire rotations, all that stuff.Copy !req
63. Real-world stuff.Copy !req
64. - Big Daddy Shane.
- Oh yeah. Big Shane. Big Daddy.Copy !req
65. Hell yeah, boys. Oh, this is Will.Copy !req
66. - Squirrel vibes.
- That's it. Big-time squirrel vibes.Copy !req
67. Look at him. 'Cause he's got that…Copy !req
68. - Yeah.
- Looks like he just got chased.Copy !req
69. I need you to sign this waiver
saying that you understandCopy !req
70. Montgomery County Vocational School
waives all responsibilityCopy !req
71. for these two students
while on your premises.Copy !req
72. I thought this was next week.
I can't do this today.Copy !req
73. No, we agreed that it was this week.Copy !req
74. I'm hungover, man.
I need this conversation to wrap up.Copy !req
75. What you got going on today?Copy !req
76. Um…Copy !req
77. - Nothing.
- Tell me what you're doing today.Copy !req
78. - I'm going out.
- Where?Copy !req
79. - Lunch.
- With who?Copy !req
80. Is it Reagan?Copy !req
81. - No.
- Squirrel Man's gonna get a nut.Copy !req
82. Hell yeah. Daytime pussy for Squirrel Man.Copy !req
83. That's how you eatin' pussy.Copy !req
84. - Ooh yeah. He's in there…
- And that ass.Copy !req
85. Hey, stop playing!Copy !req
86. Hey! You heard him! You play too much!Copy !req
87. So stop playing around!Copy !req
88. Squirrel vibes?Copy !req
89. Squirrel-ass vibes?Copy !req
90. Shut up!Copy !req
91. Come at me like that?Copy !req
92. Hey. Big Willie style.Copy !req
93. You wanna play with me?Copy !req
94. All right.Copy !req
95. Let's have a good day.Copy !req
96. All right, boys. Welcome to the Big Show.Copy !req
97. - That's Cal. He's a mechanic here.
- What's good, baby boy?Copy !req
98. - No, thanks.
- Day-to-day is pretty simple.Copy !req
99. Oil changes,
a lot of inspections, brake jobs.Copy !req
100. Lately, we've been focused on tires,
so we've got a lot of work for you today.Copy !req
101. We'll start with this Mazda.Copy !req
102. Yeah, nah, we're good.Copy !req
103. What?Copy !req
104. We ain't here to work, skeeze.
This is like a field trip for us, man.Copy !req
105. No, it's not like a field trip.
You're here to get your work hours.Copy !req
106. Yeah, like, we're hearing you,Copy !req
107. but, uh, we just
don't feel like doing that.Copy !req
108. You guys go to Vo Tech. You're gonna be
doing this the rest of your lives.Copy !req
109. Nah, bro. I actually been rapping.Copy !req
110. You're gonna be a rapper
instead of a mechanic?Copy !req
111. - He is a rapper.
- I don't think. I know, bro.Copy !req
112. I'm already having motion in my city.Copy !req
113. - Let me hear.
- All right. Ready?Copy !req
114. Hey, hey, hey, turn up, heyCopy !req
115. Yeah, we know we staying lit
I'm in this bitchCopy !req
116. Like, I'm fucking your bitch
Fuck, fuck, um…Copy !req
117. - Hand me a fuckin' wrench.
- Fuck!Copy !req
118. Fuck! That was good though.Copy !req
119. Yeah. Oh, he just walked in.
I'll let you know how it goes.Copy !req
120. Talk to you soon.Copy !req
121. - Hey, Uncle Phil!
- William.Copy !req
122. How are you? Oh, let's do that.Copy !req
123. Uh, okay.Copy !req
124. We're getting that.Copy !req
125. How you doing?Copy !req
126. I'm doing great.Copy !req
127. - Yeah.
- So, uh, what's going on?Copy !req
128. Nothing.Copy !req
129. - Nothing?
- Nah.Copy !req
130. - Boy, you really do look great.
- I do… I feel great.Copy !req
131. Yes. You look strong.Copy !req
132. Like a strong guard dog.Copy !req
133. Pit bull!Copy !req
134. Ha! Right!Copy !req
135. Now, full transparency.Copy !req
136. I've been using this testosterone cream.Copy !req
137. - Okay.
- It's terrific stuff.Copy !req
138. - Yeah.
- You could use some.Copy !req
139. Oh, I'm sure I'd love it.Copy !req
140. Got it in the truck.Copy !req
141. - Oh, I don't need it.
- You do need some.Copy !req
142. - No.
- I'm gonna get it. Two margaritas, please.Copy !req
143. Wait, wait, wait.Copy !req
144. I'll be right back.Copy !req
145. Hello. How are… Oh.Copy !req
146. Smoking weed.Copy !req
147. Yo, so you got a wife?Copy !req
148. No.Copy !req
149. She died?Copy !req
150. No. I got a girlfriend though.Copy !req
151. Ugh, dude, you're way too old
to have a girlfriend. That's sad.Copy !req
152. - That is, bro. What's she do?
- Yeah.Copy !req
153. She's in catering.Copy !req
154. Is she fat?Copy !req
155. She's not fat. She's actually…
She's kinda hot, so…Copy !req
156. - Yeah? Let's see a picture, then.
- No, I'm not showing you a picture.Copy !req
157. - You don't have any? That's weird.
- I have pictures. I'm just not fuckin'--Copy !req
158. 'Cause she doesn't exist, or what?Copy !req
159. No, she exists. I'm not playing
these fuckin' little kid games.Copy !req
160. "Little kid games" is
saying you have a girlfriendCopy !req
161. when you don't have a girlfriend.Copy !req
162. I have a girl… Cal!Copy !req
163. Tell these two dickheads
I have a girlfriend, and she is kinda hot.Copy !req
164. - I thought that was over?
- It's not over.Copy !req
165. You said you were texting her
and she wasn't texting you back.Copy !req
166. Shut the fuck up, Cal.Copy !req
167. Fuck all that, bro. You're mad old.
I don't know. You could buy us beer.Copy !req
168. - Oh, yeah.
- No, I don't wanna buy you beer. I'm not.Copy !req
169. What if we do all this bullshit
that you want us to do?Copy !req
170. Then will you buy us beer?Copy !req
171. Yes. You get this done,
I'll buy you guys some beer.Copy !req
172. - Yes.
- Let's get this done.Copy !req
173. Let's get this fucking done.
Come on. Come on. Come on.Copy !req
174. You really gotta get it in there.
Gotta get it in.Copy !req
175. It's gonna burn at first.Copy !req
176. Took me about a week to get over it,
but once that passes…Copy !req
177. …your penis is gonna fill with bloodCopy !req
178. whether you like it or not. There you go.Copy !req
179. Oh wow. Thanks. Yeah.Copy !req
180. So I'll definitely probably
still call my doctor—Copy !req
181. What did you wanna talk about?Copy !req
182. Um, just,Copy !req
183. you know…Copy !req
184. Boy, that has a strong odor.Copy !req
185. It's boner cream.Copy !req
186. I just, um…Copy !req
187. just had a few business questions to ask.Copy !req
188. Shoot.Copy !req
189. If you were to get into business
with somebody,Copy !req
190. what are you looking for?Copy !req
191. Hmm.Copy !req
192. Do you wanna do business with me?Copy !req
193. Uh…Copy !req
194. No, no. It was just a hypothetical.Copy !req
195. If you were looking
to get into business with me,Copy !req
196. show me your balls.Copy !req
197. How's your margarita?
Mine tastes like shit.Copy !req
198. - It's good.
- Look.Copy !req
199. You tell the waitress
we want two new margaritas.Copy !req
200. - Mine's fine.
- Mine tastes like shit, okay?Copy !req
201. You may be all right with that,
but I don't prefer it.Copy !req
202. I… I… I really just
wanna talk about business.Copy !req
203. Look, I know Jon wants to retire.Copy !req
204. He talked to me about the loan,
so just let him sell Valley Forge,Copy !req
205. and that way,Copy !req
206. you and Shane can come work for me,Copy !req
207. which of course means
you'll have to leave Valley Forge.Copy !req
208. Phil, no.Copy !req
209. Oh shit!Copy !req
210. - Don't… don't get that in your mouth!
- Why?Copy !req
211. I don't know.Copy !req
212. Is everything all right?Copy !req
213. Our margaritas taste like shit.
Can we get a refund?Copy !req
214. Mine tastes fine. I don't know
what his problem is. Can we get the check?Copy !req
215. Sure.Copy !req
216. Let's do a bar crawl.
Talk about some real business.Copy !req
217. Ooh! Ooh! Shit!Copy !req
218. Kelly text you back yet?Copy !req
219. - No.
- All right, you won.Copy !req
220. I fucking hate these kids.Copy !req
221. That's why they're having so much fun.
They know it's pissing you off.Copy !req
222. I'd probably do the same.Copy !req
223. Oh shit!Copy !req
224. All right.
There's a distributor next door.Copy !req
225. Here's 20 bucks.
Go get yourself a case on me.Copy !req
226. - Wait…
- You said you was gonna buy it.Copy !req
227. - Yeah.
- I am buying. That's my money. Go buy it.Copy !req
228. No.Copy !req
229. I can't go in there
and buy beer for two kids.Copy !req
230. That's illegal. You serious?Copy !req
231. No, that's stupid. This is stupid.
You… This is stupid!Copy !req
232. - Are you scared?
- No, bro, we're not scared.Copy !req
233. - They're gonna say no.
- Yeah.Copy !req
234. Holy shit, you're scared.Copy !req
235. - I'm not scared.
- It's all right if you're a little scared.Copy !req
236. I'm not a little scared. I know it's
all right, but I'm not a little scared.Copy !req
237. - All right.
- Are you scared?Copy !req
238. - I'm not scared.
- See, I believe him.Copy !req
239. - I'm not scared!
- Prove it. Go do it.Copy !req
240. - I'll fucking do it right now.
- I'm gonna buy some beer.Copy !req
241. - We're gonna buy beer.
- Let's go.Copy !req
242. - You got it.
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
243. Take your fuckin' lanyard off.Copy !req
244. Oh shit! Dude, take your fucking… Okay.Copy !req
245. - It says "high school" on it.
- Dude, take your…Copy !req
246. - Bro, just calm down.
- Oh, no, no. It's cool. Yeah.Copy !req
247. - What's going on?
- You wanna see something cool?Copy !req
248. Sure.Copy !req
249. I'm about to fuck those kids.Copy !req
250. What?Copy !req
251. I'm gonna fuck 'em up.Copy !req
252. At first, I didn't think you were right
for the management job,Copy !req
253. but then I realized
Shane only wants to work with you,Copy !req
254. so I see it as a package deal.Copy !req
255. - Yes, but—
- You want some free fries?Copy !req
256. Uh, what do you mean?Copy !req
257. Hello, Rory.Copy !req
258. So we were here about an hour ago,Copy !req
259. and you forgot our fries.Copy !req
260. Do you have a receipt, sir?Copy !req
261. No, I've already dropped
all my fast-food receipts offCopy !req
262. with my accountant for the day.Copy !req
263. All right. Give me a second.Copy !req
264. There's that smile.Copy !req
265. Freeze, motherfuckers!
Get on the fucking ground!Copy !req
266. - Oh my God!
- Hands behind your back!Copy !req
267. I'm so sorry!Copy !req
268. Hands behind your back! You guys
are going to jail for three months.Copy !req
269. - What?
- For buying beer?Copy !req
270. For counterfeiting a $20 bill.
That's a felony.Copy !req
271. - What the fuck? Somebody gave—
- Shut up!Copy !req
272. There a problem here, officer?Copy !req
273. - You know these guys?
- Yeah, I think I've seen 'em before.Copy !req
274. Oh yeah?Copy !req
275. These two boys, they're, uh…
they're actually pussies.Copy !req
276. These guys messed up.Copy !req
277. You wanna take 'em downtown,
feed 'em to the boys?Copy !req
278. - Look at these cheeks.
- The boys would love these guys.Copy !req
279. Thought you could fuck around a little.
You're about to be a guy's Fleshlight.Copy !req
280. - Fuck! Oh no.
- A caked-up white boy.Copy !req
281. Yeah, you're gonna have to join
the Aryan Brotherhood.Copy !req
282. - I don't wanna join the Aryan Brotherhood!
- It's either that or you're a cake boy.Copy !req
283. - I don't wanna be either.
- Either cake boy or a Nazi.Copy !req
284. Oh my God!Copy !req
285. You guys are gonna be jacking off
to cartoons that some fucking retard drew.Copy !req
286. - While your butts leak with criminal jizz.
- Ah!Copy !req
287. All because you guys had to act up
on Vo Tech Day.Copy !req
288. No! I'm dead!Copy !req
289. I'm dead!Copy !req
290. Is there, uh…
Is there any way out of this?Copy !req
291. I do owe you a favor.Copy !req
292. Oh my God, please use the favor!
Use the favor! Please!Copy !req
293. - You guys learn something?
- Yeah.Copy !req
294. Wanna make fun
of my catering girlfriend again?Copy !req
295. - Oh my God, no!
- No, bro. No, she's chill.Copy !req
296. Let these dickheads go.Copy !req
297. - Thank you.
- Get up.Copy !req
298. - Get the fuck up and back in here.
- Okay!Copy !req
299. - Bring the beer.
- Okay. Oh my God.Copy !req
300. Let's roll. Come on, let's roll.Copy !req
301. What's wrong? What's wrong, dawg?Copy !req
302. What happened to you dudes? What's wrong?Copy !req
303. Oh snap!Copy !req
304. Oh, it's real now, ain't it?Copy !req
305. Shit real now.Copy !req
306. What do you think, Jerome?
Should I go visit Kelly at work?Copy !req
307. Yeah, you're right.
I should go visit her. Yeah.Copy !req
308. Dear, I fear we're facing a problemCopy !req
309. You love me no longerCopy !req
310. I know andCopy !req
311. So I cryCopy !req
312. And I pray and I begCopy !req
313. Love me, love meCopy !req
314. Say that you love meCopy !req
315. Fool me, fool meCopy !req
316. Go on and fool meCopy !req
317. Love me, love meCopy !req
318. Pretend that you love meCopy !req
319. I can't care 'bout anything but youCopy !req
320. - Hey, what are you doing?
- Oh my God!Copy !req
321. Oh my God!Copy !req
322. - Oh my God!
- I'm so sorry.Copy !req
323. - You okay?
- What are you doing?Copy !req
324. - You scared the shit out of me!
- I was joking.Copy !req
325. I thought it was gonna be funny.
I'm sorry.Copy !req
326. Okay. What the…Copy !req
327. - Uh, what's up?
- I…Copy !req
328. I… I sent you a voicemail.
I was wondering if you got it.Copy !req
329. I got it.Copy !req
330. - It was funny.
- Yeah, I was trying to be funny.Copy !req
331. I'm sorry I was on cocaine,Copy !req
332. and my dad was being a dick, and…Copy !req
333. It's totally okay. We're not dating,
so it's not a big deal.Copy !req
334. What if we were dating?Copy !req
335. I think you're really nice.Copy !req
336. And I think you're kind of funny.Copy !req
337. But you're so weird.Copy !req
338. You're weird. I'm not weird.Copy !req
339. - You're weird!
- I'm not that weird.Copy !req
340. You were just hiding here
for God knows how long to scare me.Copy !req
341. - Ten minutes. I could've killed you easy.
- Ten minutes?Copy !req
342. - You probably had to pee.
- I did pee.Copy !req
343. Okay. Ew. Ew!Copy !req
344. All right.Copy !req
345. This teenager fucked me up earlier.
He told me…Copy !req
346. He was making fun of me, saying I was old
and I needed to lock something down,Copy !req
347. and, I don't know. Just…Copy !req
348. You hang out with teenagers?Copy !req
349. I don't hang out.
It was a work thing. They came in, but…Copy !req
350. They were calling you fat.Copy !req
351. I was like, "She's not fat,"
and I almost had 'em killed for it.Copy !req
352. Well, thank you. That is very romantic.Copy !req
353. It is. I defended your honor.Copy !req
354. My knight in shining armor.Copy !req
355. Can we just, like, start over?
I'm not that weird. And you could…Copy !req
356. Okay.Copy !req
357. Yeah?Copy !req
358. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
359. Would it be weird if we kissed?Copy !req
360. Yeah, really weird.Copy !req
361. - It'd be weird?
- Yes!Copy !req
362. - Okay, we can kiss.
- You wanna kiss?Copy !req
363. - Sure.
- All right.Copy !req
364. - Are you there? Oh!
- No.Copy !req
365. - What the hell?
- I'm over here.Copy !req
366. What the hell? That was your only shot.
That was your only chance.Copy !req
367. I think that's two chicks.Copy !req
368. This is a gay bar?Copy !req
369. I don't know. I don't do bar crawls.Copy !req
370. Maybe we crawled into a gay one.Copy !req
371. Yeah.Copy !req
372. Ah shit! They're looking right at us.Copy !req
373. Fuck! I think I know that guy.Copy !req
374. So are you gonna ask me for the loan?Copy !req
375. - What?
- That's why you called me, right?Copy !req
376. Your dad said the loan's not happening,
then you call me out of the clear blue.Copy !req
377. So just ask.Copy !req
378. Okay.Copy !req
379. Uncle Phil,Copy !req
380. can I have the loan?Copy !req
381. - No!
- Why? Do you wanna see my balls?Copy !req
382. - Sure.
- Okay, fine. Eyes open, grandpa.Copy !req
383. Here come my balls. Uh, excuse me. Miss?Copy !req
384. Hi.Copy !req
385. I, um, just wanted to let you know
I think you're very cute.Copy !req
386. Oh! Well, I think you're very cute.Copy !req
387. Oh, tha… thank you very much.Copy !req
388. Well, do you wanna hang out sometime?Copy !req
389. Uh, yeah, I would, actually.Copy !req
390. - I'll pop over in a minute.
- Okay. I will look forward to you popping.Copy !req
391. Over here.Copy !req
392. Outstanding work.Copy !req
393. - Boom! Balls!
- Still not getting the loan.Copy !req
394. - What? Why not? What are we doing?
- Will, listen.Copy !req
395. I just wanted to make sureCopy !req
396. that you and Shane were willing
to come and work for me.Copy !req
397. Yeah, but, Phil, I like where I work.Copy !req
398. Shane likes where he works.Copy !req
399. We like Valley Forge.
And we got a good thing going there.Copy !req
400. Well, then this is
going to work out perfect.Copy !req
401. What's that?Copy !req
402. This is an evaluation
prepared by my consultantCopy !req
403. of Valley Forge Auto.Copy !req
404. It's a great business
with a terrific future.Copy !req
405. Look, I talked to your dad.Copy !req
406. He wants to retire.
I have the capital to buy the company.Copy !req
407. You can do
whatever you want with the business,Copy !req
408. and I get to work with my son, Shane.Copy !req
409. It's a win-win.Copy !req
410. Phil…Copy !req
411. Will, listen to me.Copy !req
412. I'm buying Valley Forge Auto.Copy !req
413. Hey, what's up? I'm Maddie.Copy !req
414. Hey!Copy !req
415. Oh my goodness! I am so sorry.
I didn't know you had somebody.Copy !req
416. - Nope.
- Nope.Copy !req
417. Well…Copy !req
418. So when are you gonna pop?Copy !req
419. - Any minute now.
- Congratulations! That's really exciting.Copy !req
420. Oh, I felt little Will kick.Copy !req
421. Okay, sure.Copy !req
422. Phil, what are you doing?
We were just having a conversation.Copy !req
423. Can I catch you in a bit?Copy !req
424. - Okay.
- Okay.Copy !req
425. You're gonna be a new dad.
Oh, it's exciting.Copy !req
426. - That was cra—
- Listen.Copy !req
427. I need you to talk to Shane.Copy !req
428. He's gonna fucking hate this.Copy !req
429. Got it?Copy !req
430. Yeah.Copy !req
431. Here. Here.Copy !req
432. Yeah.Copy !req
433. Crawl, live in a skullCopy !req
434. Burn in a well
That I freeze in a beta fail…Copy !req
435. On it just to book the rollCopy !req
436. Panned it in to pan a ride
Make it and fort sang IvanCopy !req
437. Moneybag virtue copsCopy !req
438. Back in the building
And I topple the blocksCopy !req
439. Thirty-three level mage
Take it to the stageCopy !req
440. Zimmerman on the back pageCopy !req
441. Super down
With the Memphis Woofer RockCopy !req
442. Super down
With the Memphis Woofer Rock…Copy !req
443. Garvey done buried double statuetteCopy !req
444. Thirty-five dollars
And you lost the betCopy !req
445. On west, bottle rocket
Got the rocket sawsCopy !req
446. Sweeney and Blake, Mo and Sandoval
And mocha goCopy !req
447. Super down, down, down, downCopy !req
448. It's a drag, man
Tomorrow is a king size dragCopy !req
449. Kyle knows what happened
And check what's gonna happenCopy !req