1. HI, I'M ERIC WAREHEIM,
BROTHER OF TIM HEIDECKER.
ME AND MY BEST FRIEND,
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2. BROTHER OF TIM HEIDECKER.
ME AND MY BEST FRIEND,
ERIC WAREHEIM, DEVELOPED THIS
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3. ME AND MY BEST FRIEND,
ERIC WAREHEIM, DEVELOPED THIS
SUPER EASY SYSTEM FOR YOU TO
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4. ERIC WAREHEIM, DEVELOPED THIS
SUPER EASY SYSTEM FOR YOU TO
RESET YOUR LIFE AND HAVE THE
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5. SUPER EASY SYSTEM FOR YOU TO
RESET YOUR LIFE AND HAVE THE
CONFIDENCE THAT YOU DESERVE.
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6. RESET YOUR LIFE AND HAVE THE
CONFIDENCE THAT YOU DESERVE.
I GUARANTEE YOU, IN
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7. CONFIDENCE THAT YOU DESERVE.
I GUARANTEE YOU, IN
2 SHORT WEEKS, I'LL TURN YOU
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8. I GUARANTEE YOU, IN
2 SHORT WEEKS, I'LL TURN YOU
FROM A LITTLE SHIT BOY TO A
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9. 2 SHORT WEEKS, I'LL TURN YOU
FROM A LITTLE SHIT BOY TO A
SUCCESSFUL BUSINESSMAN.
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10. FROM A LITTLE SHIT BOY TO A
SUCCESSFUL BUSINESSMAN.
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11. BE A BABY!
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12. BE A BABY!
I'M TALKING ABOUT THE
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13. BE A BABY!
I'M TALKING ABOUT THE
GOO-GOO.
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14. I'M TALKING ABOUT THE
GOO-GOO.
I'M TALKING ABOUT THE GA-GA.
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15. GOO-GOO.
I'M TALKING ABOUT THE GA-GA.
I'M TALKING ABOUT DRINKING THE
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16. I'M TALKING ABOUT THE GA-GA.
I'M TALKING ABOUT DRINKING THE
MILK.
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17. I'M TALKING ABOUT DRINKING THE
MILK.
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18. MILK.
THIS MILK AIN'T FROM
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19. THIS MILK AIN'T FROM
YOUR MAMA'S TITS.
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20. THIS MILK AIN'T FROM
YOUR MAMA'S TITS.
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21. YOUR MAMA'S TITS.
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22. IF YOU DON'T FOLLOW OUR
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23. IF YOU DON'T FOLLOW OUR
SYSTEM, YOU GET A BABY SPANK!
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24. IF YOU DON'T FOLLOW OUR
SYSTEM, YOU GET A BABY SPANK!
[ SMACK! SMACK! ]
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25. SYSTEM, YOU GET A BABY SPANK!
[ SMACK! SMACK! ]
IF THE "BE A BABY" SYSTEM
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26. [ SMACK! SMACK! ]
IF THE "BE A BABY" SYSTEM
WORKS FOR ME, IT'LL WORK FOR
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27. IF THE "BE A BABY" SYSTEM
WORKS FOR ME, IT'LL WORK FOR
YOU.
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28. WORKS FOR ME, IT'LL WORK FOR
YOU.
[ DROOP! ]
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29. YOU LIKE STAND UP
COMEDY?
IF YOU CALL RIGHT NOW,
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30. COMEDY?
IF YOU CALL RIGHT NOW,
I'M GONNA THROW IN A FREE
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31. IF YOU CALL RIGHT NOW,
I'M GONNA THROW IN A FREE
STAND UP COMEDY DVD FROM ONE OF
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32. I'M GONNA THROW IN A FREE
STAND UP COMEDY DVD FROM ONE OF
THE FUNNIEST MEN IN AMERICA.
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33. STAND UP COMEDY DVD FROM ONE OF
THE FUNNIEST MEN IN AMERICA.
YOU GIVE ME A TACO, I'M GONNA
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34. THE FUNNIEST MEN IN AMERICA.
YOU GIVE ME A TACO, I'M GONNA
EAT IT.
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35. YOU GIVE ME A TACO, I'M GONNA
EAT IT.
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36. EAT IT.
YOU GIVE ME A 2x4, I'M GONNA
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37. YOU GIVE ME A 2x4, I'M GONNA
EAT IT!
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38. YOU GIVE ME A 2x4, I'M GONNA
EAT IT!
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39. EAT IT!
HEH HEH HEH.
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40. HEH HEH HEH.
I'M STARVING!
CALL NOW, WE'LL GIVE
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41. I'M STARVING!
CALL NOW, WE'LL GIVE
YOU A FREE DVD!
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42. CALL NOW, WE'LL GIVE
YOU A FREE DVD!
CALL NOW OR JOIN US
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43. YOU A FREE DVD!
CALL NOW OR JOIN US
ONLINE AT Be-A-Baby.biz.
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44. CALL NOW OR JOIN US
ONLINE AT Be-A-Baby.biz.
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45. ONLINE AT Be-A-Baby.biz.
ORDER NOW AND RECEIVE
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46. ORDER NOW AND RECEIVE
ONE PACK OF BIG-BOY DIAPERS.
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47. ORDER NOW AND RECEIVE
ONE PACK OF BIG-BOY DIAPERS.
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48. ONE PACK OF BIG-BOY DIAPERS.
Hello?
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49. Hello?
HELLO.
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50. Hello?
HELLO.
UH, YES, I'M CALLING ABOUT THE
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51. HELLO.
UH, YES, I'M CALLING ABOUT THE
"BE A BABY" DVD.
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52. UH, YES, I'M CALLING ABOUT THE
"BE A BABY" DVD.
Hello? Who's this?
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53. "BE A BABY" DVD.
Hello? Who's this?
UH, MY NAME'S — MY NAME IS
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54. Hello? Who's this?
UH, MY NAME'S — MY NAME IS
JORDAN.
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55. UH, MY NAME'S — MY NAME IS
JORDAN.
Uh...
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56. JORDAN.
Uh...
IS THIS A WRONG NUMBER?
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57. Uh...
IS THIS A WRONG NUMBER?
What?
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58. IS THIS A WRONG NUMBER?
What?
Um...
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59. What?
Um...
Tell you what.
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60. Um...
Tell you what.
Um, what's your address over
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61. Tell you what.
Um, what's your address over
there, pal?
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62. Um, what's your address over
there, pal?
1429 APPLE COURT.
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63. there, pal?
1429 APPLE COURT.
APARTMENT 2D.
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64. 1429 APPLE COURT.
APARTMENT 2D.
Okay, I'm sending
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65. APARTMENT 2D.
Okay, I'm sending
somebody over there now to give
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66. Okay, I'm sending
somebody over there now to give
you a free evaluation, all
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67. somebody over there now to give
you a free evaluation, all
right?
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68. you a free evaluation, all
right?
OHHH.
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69. right?
OHHH.
IT'S PRETTY LATE.
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70. OHHH.
IT'S PRETTY LATE.
ARE YOU SURE THAT SOMEONE HAS TO
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71. IT'S PRETTY LATE.
ARE YOU SURE THAT SOMEONE HAS TO
COME —
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72. ARE YOU SURE THAT SOMEONE HAS TO
COME —
Hey, man, he just left.
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73. COME —
Hey, man, he just left.
I'm not calling him back.
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74. Hey, man, he just left.
I'm not calling him back.
HELLO?
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75. I'm not calling him back.
HELLO?
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76. HELLO?
HUH.
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77. THIS IS HOW THE SYSTEM
WORKS.
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78. WORKS.
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79. YOU JORDY?
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80. YOU JORDY?
YE— I'M JORDAN, YES.
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81. YOU JORDY?
YE— I'M JORDAN, YES.
YOU WANT TO BE A BABY?
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82. YE— I'M JORDAN, YES.
YOU WANT TO BE A BABY?
UH...
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83. YOU WANT TO BE A BABY?
UH...
WELL... I GUESS.
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84. UH...
WELL... I GUESS.
OKAY.
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85. WELL... I GUESS.
OKAY.
LOOKS LIKE YOU ALREADY
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86. OKAY.
LOOKS LIKE YOU ALREADY
KNOW HOW TO BE A PIG.
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87. LOOKS LIKE YOU ALREADY
KNOW HOW TO BE A PIG.
OH, JUST TRYING TO CLEAN UP.
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88. KNOW HOW TO BE A PIG.
OH, JUST TRYING TO CLEAN UP.
S-SORRY ABOUT THE MESS.
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89. OH, JUST TRYING TO CLEAN UP.
S-SORRY ABOUT THE MESS.
WHY DON'T YOU STRIP
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90. S-SORRY ABOUT THE MESS.
WHY DON'T YOU STRIP
DOWN AND PUT ON THESE BIG-BOY
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91. WHY DON'T YOU STRIP
DOWN AND PUT ON THESE BIG-BOY
DIAPERS, OKAY?
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92. DOWN AND PUT ON THESE BIG-BOY
DIAPERS, OKAY?
I'M GONNA GO HEAT UP YOUR
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93. DIAPERS, OKAY?
I'M GONNA GO HEAT UP YOUR
BOTTLE.
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94. I'M GONNA GO HEAT UP YOUR
BOTTLE.
UH... NOW?
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95. BOTTLE.
UH... NOW?
YEAH.
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96. UH... NOW?
YEAH.
RIGHT NOW, JORDY.
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97. YEAH.
RIGHT NOW, JORDY.
WE DON'T HAVE ALL NIGHT.
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98. RIGHT NOW, JORDY.
WE DON'T HAVE ALL NIGHT.
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99. WE DON'T HAVE ALL NIGHT.
OKAY.
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100. DID I DO IT RIGHT?
YEAH. IT'S FINE.
GET ON YOUR HANDS AND KNEES,
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101. YEAH. IT'S FINE.
GET ON YOUR HANDS AND KNEES,
CRAWL AROUND LIKE A BABY, DO THE
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102. GET ON YOUR HANDS AND KNEES,
CRAWL AROUND LIKE A BABY, DO THE
"GOO-GOO, GA-GA."
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103. CRAWL AROUND LIKE A BABY, DO THE
"GOO-GOO, GA-GA."
OKAY.
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104. "GOO-GOO, GA-GA."
OKAY.
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105. OKAY.
UH... G-GOO-GOO GA-GA.
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106. UH... G-GOO-GOO GA-GA.
GOO-GOO GA-GA.
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107. UH... G-GOO-GOO GA-GA.
GOO-GOO GA-GA.
WAH!
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108. GOO-GOO GA-GA.
WAH!
HMM. SOME TURKEY.
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109. WAH!
HMM. SOME TURKEY.
DO I JUST KEEP DOING IT?
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110. HMM. SOME TURKEY.
DO I JUST KEEP DOING IT?
BABIES DON'T TALK, DO
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111. DO I JUST KEEP DOING IT?
BABIES DON'T TALK, DO
THEY, JORDY?
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112. BABIES DON'T TALK, DO
THEY, JORDY?
SORRY.
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113. THEY, JORDY?
SORRY.
GOO-GOO GA-GA.
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114. SORRY.
GOO-GOO GA-GA.
HEY. WHERE WE AT?
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115. GOO-GOO GA-GA.
HEY. WHERE WE AT?
WE'RE LIKE 30%, MAN.
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116. HEY. WHERE WE AT?
WE'RE LIKE 30%, MAN.
30%? GEEZ.
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117. WE'RE LIKE 30%, MAN.
30%? GEEZ.
I'M TRYIN'.
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118. 30%? GEEZ.
I'M TRYIN'.
HOW'S IT GOING, JORDY?
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119. I'M TRYIN'.
HOW'S IT GOING, JORDY?
MY NAME IS TIM.
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120. HOW'S IT GOING, JORDY?
MY NAME IS TIM.
WE SPOKE ON THE PHONE.
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121. MY NAME IS TIM.
WE SPOKE ON THE PHONE.
UH, HI. MY NAME'S JORDAN.
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122. WE SPOKE ON THE PHONE.
UH, HI. MY NAME'S JORDAN.
ALL RIGHT, HERE'S WHAT
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123. UH, HI. MY NAME'S JORDAN.
ALL RIGHT, HERE'S WHAT
WE'RE GONNA DO.
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124. ALL RIGHT, HERE'S WHAT
WE'RE GONNA DO.
WE'RE GONNA INTRODUCE NAP TIME.
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125. WE'RE GONNA DO.
WE'RE GONNA INTRODUCE NAP TIME.
ERIC?
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126. WE'RE GONNA INTRODUCE NAP TIME.
ERIC?
WANT YOU TO PUT THESE, UH,
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127. ERIC?
WANT YOU TO PUT THESE, UH,
HEADPHONES ON...
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128. WANT YOU TO PUT THESE, UH,
HEADPHONES ON...
AND THIS BLINDFOLD ON.
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129. HEADPHONES ON...
AND THIS BLINDFOLD ON.
I WAS — I WAS JUST HOPING TO
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130. AND THIS BLINDFOLD ON.
I WAS — I WAS JUST HOPING TO
WATCH THE DVD AND DO THE
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131. I WAS — I WAS JUST HOPING TO
WATCH THE DVD AND DO THE
TREATMENT A-AT HOME.
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132. WATCH THE DVD AND DO THE
TREATMENT A-AT HOME.
I HAVE TO BE AT WORK IN A COUPLE
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133. TREATMENT A-AT HOME.
I HAVE TO BE AT WORK IN A COUPLE
HOURS.
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134. I HAVE TO BE AT WORK IN A COUPLE
HOURS.
BE A GOOD BOY, JORDY.
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135. HOURS.
BE A GOOD BOY, JORDY.
DO WHAT HE SAYS.
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136. BE A GOOD BOY, JORDY.
DO WHAT HE SAYS.
OKAY.
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137. DO WHAT HE SAYS.
OKAY.
THAT'S MY LITTLE BABY.
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138. OKAY.
THAT'S MY LITTLE BABY.
PUT YOUR THUMB IN YOUR MOUTH.
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139. THAT'S MY LITTLE BABY.
PUT YOUR THUMB IN YOUR MOUTH.
GO AHEAD AND LIE DOWN.
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140. PUT YOUR THUMB IN YOUR MOUTH.
GO AHEAD AND LIE DOWN.
THAT'S OUR BOY.
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141. GO AHEAD AND LIE DOWN.
THAT'S OUR BOY.
JORDAN?
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142. THAT'S OUR BOY.
JORDAN?
JORDAN, CAN YOU HEAR ME?
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143. JORDAN?
JORDAN, CAN YOU HEAR ME?
ALL RIGHT, HE'S OUT.
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144. JORDAN, CAN YOU HEAR ME?
ALL RIGHT, HE'S OUT.
WHAT'S THE FOOD SITUATION?
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145. ALL RIGHT, HE'S OUT.
WHAT'S THE FOOD SITUATION?
IT'S NOT BAD.
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146. WHAT'S THE FOOD SITUATION?
IT'S NOT BAD.
TAKE A LOOK?
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147. ALL RIGHT, COME ON.
WE GOT WORK TO DO.
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148. FIT?
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149. ALL RIGHT, SO YOU'RE AT,
UH, WEST ADAMS, RIGHT?
GREAT. OKAY.
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150. UH, WEST ADAMS, RIGHT?
GREAT. OKAY.
UH, I CAN SEND SOMEONE OVER
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151. GREAT. OKAY.
UH, I CAN SEND SOMEONE OVER
THERE IN ABOUT A HALF-HOUR.
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152. UH, I CAN SEND SOMEONE OVER
THERE IN ABOUT A HALF-HOUR.
AND, UH, WHAT'S YOUR SOCIAL?
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153. THERE IN ABOUT A HALF-HOUR.
AND, UH, WHAT'S YOUR SOCIAL?
OKAY...
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154. AND, UH, WHAT'S YOUR SOCIAL?
OKAY...
EXCUSE ME.
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155. OKAY...
EXCUSE ME.
UM...
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156. EXCUSE ME.
UM...
LET ME CALL YOU BACK, ACTUALLY.
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157. UM...
LET ME CALL YOU BACK, ACTUALLY.
JORDY. HOW ARE YA?
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158. LET ME CALL YOU BACK, ACTUALLY.
JORDY. HOW ARE YA?
I KNOW WHAT YOU DID WHEN I
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159. JORDY. HOW ARE YA?
I KNOW WHAT YOU DID WHEN I
WAS SLEEPING.
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160. I KNOW WHAT YOU DID WHEN I
WAS SLEEPING.
YOU TOOK MY STUFF.
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161. WAS SLEEPING.
YOU TOOK MY STUFF.
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162. YOU TOOK MY STUFF.
HEY. WE GOT A PROBLEM.
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163. HEY. WE GOT A PROBLEM.
Y-YOU ROBBED MY HOUSE.
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164. HEY. WE GOT A PROBLEM.
Y-YOU ROBBED MY HOUSE.
YOU TOOK MY STUFF.
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165. Y-YOU ROBBED MY HOUSE.
YOU TOOK MY STUFF.
I KNOW YOU DID.
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166. YOU TOOK MY STUFF.
I KNOW YOU DID.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
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167. I KNOW YOU DID.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
LOOK WHO JOINED US.
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168. WHAT'S GOING ON?
LOOK WHO JOINED US.
JORDY!
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169. LOOK WHO JOINED US.
JORDY!
NO, YOU TOOK MY STUFF, AND I
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170. JORDY!
NO, YOU TOOK MY STUFF, AND I
WANT IT BACK.
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171. NO, YOU TOOK MY STUFF, AND I
WANT IT BACK.
SHHHHH!
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172. WANT IT BACK.
SHHHHH!
AAH!
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173. SHHHHH!
AAH!
IT'S OKAY.
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174. AAH!
IT'S OKAY.
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
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175. IT'S OKAY.
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
CALM DOWN.
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176. IT'S ALL RIGHT.
CALM DOWN.
WE GOT YOUR STUFF.
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177. CALM DOWN.
WE GOT YOUR STUFF.
WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY
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178. WE GOT YOUR STUFF.
WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY
STUFF?
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179. WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY
STUFF?
I WANT IT BACK.
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180. STUFF?
I WANT IT BACK.
JORDY.
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181. I WANT IT BACK.
JORDY.
WE GOT YOUR STUFF RIGHT HERE.
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182. JORDY.
WE GOT YOUR STUFF RIGHT HERE.
YOU WANT TO SEE IT?
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183. WE GOT YOUR STUFF RIGHT HERE.
YOU WANT TO SEE IT?
COME ON.
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184. THIS BETTER NOT BE A PRANK.
IT'S ALL RIGHT HERE.
GOT YOUR CDs, YOUR SPEAKERS —
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185. IT'S ALL RIGHT HERE.
GOT YOUR CDs, YOUR SPEAKERS —
ALL SAFE AND SOUND.
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186. GOT YOUR CDs, YOUR SPEAKERS —
ALL SAFE AND SOUND.
SEE?
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187. ALL SAFE AND SOUND.
SEE?
WELL... I WANT IT BACK.
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188. SEE?
WELL... I WANT IT BACK.
JORDAN, LET ME ASK YOU A
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189. WELL... I WANT IT BACK.
JORDAN, LET ME ASK YOU A
QUESTION.
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190. JORDAN, LET ME ASK YOU A
QUESTION.
DOES A BABY KNOW HOW TO WORK A
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191. QUESTION.
DOES A BABY KNOW HOW TO WORK A
DVD PLAYER OR A VIDEO-GAME
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192. DOES A BABY KNOW HOW TO WORK A
DVD PLAYER OR A VIDEO-GAME
SYSTEM?
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193. DVD PLAYER OR A VIDEO-GAME
SYSTEM?
CAN A BABY OPERATE A
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194. SYSTEM?
CAN A BABY OPERATE A
VOLUME OR A HIGH-END EQ?
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195. CAN A BABY OPERATE A
VOLUME OR A HIGH-END EQ?
I DON'T THINK SO.
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196. VOLUME OR A HIGH-END EQ?
I DON'T THINK SO.
BUT YOU STOLE MY THINGS.
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197. I DON'T THINK SO.
BUT YOU STOLE MY THINGS.
WE DIDN'T STEAL
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198. BUT YOU STOLE MY THINGS.
WE DIDN'T STEAL
ANYTHING, JORDAN.
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199. WE DIDN'T STEAL
ANYTHING, JORDAN.
ALL WE'RE DOING IS HOLDING ON TO
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200. ANYTHING, JORDAN.
ALL WE'RE DOING IS HOLDING ON TO
IT, OKAY?
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201. ALL WE'RE DOING IS HOLDING ON TO
IT, OKAY?
YOU PUT SOMETHING IN THAT
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202. IT, OKAY?
YOU PUT SOMETHING IN THAT
MILK, AND I SLEPT FOR A LONG
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203. YOU PUT SOMETHING IN THAT
MILK, AND I SLEPT FOR A LONG
TIME.
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204. MILK, AND I SLEPT FOR A LONG
TIME.
JO-JO, IT'S A
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205. TIME.
JO-JO, IT'S A
THREE-STEP PROCESS.
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206. JO-JO, IT'S A
THREE-STEP PROCESS.
NUMBER 1 — YOU HAVE TO BE A
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207. THREE-STEP PROCESS.
NUMBER 1 — YOU HAVE TO BE A
BABY, DO THE GOO-GOO GA-GA.
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208. NUMBER 1 — YOU HAVE TO BE A
BABY, DO THE GOO-GOO GA-GA.
STEP 2 — WE TAKE AWAY ALL THE
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209. BABY, DO THE GOO-GOO GA-GA.
STEP 2 — WE TAKE AWAY ALL THE
BIG-BOY TOYS.
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210. STEP 2 — WE TAKE AWAY ALL THE
BIG-BOY TOYS.
STEP 3 — YOU GET YOUR COMEDY
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211. BIG-BOY TOYS.
STEP 3 — YOU GET YOUR COMEDY
DVD.
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212. STEP 3 — YOU GET YOUR COMEDY
DVD.
IT'S SO EASY.
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213. DVD.
IT'S SO EASY.
SOMEBODY'S CRANKY.
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214. IT'S SO EASY.
SOMEBODY'S CRANKY.
I THINK IT'S NAP TIME.
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215. SOMEBODY'S CRANKY.
I THINK IT'S NAP TIME.
COME ON, JORDAN.
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216. I THINK IT'S NAP TIME.
COME ON, JORDAN.
I GUESS SO.
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217. COME ON, JORDAN.
I GUESS SO.
LET'S GET YOU BACK HOME
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218. I GUESS SO.
LET'S GET YOU BACK HOME
FOR SOME NAPPIN'.
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219. LET'S GET YOU BACK HOME
FOR SOME NAPPIN'.
COME ON.
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220. FOR SOME NAPPIN'.
COME ON.
EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.
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221. COME ON.
EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.
I DO WANT THE COMEDY DVD,
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222. EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.
I DO WANT THE COMEDY DVD,
THOUGH.
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223. I DO WANT THE COMEDY DVD,
THOUGH.
THAT WAS MY — THE MAIN REASON I
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224. THOUGH.
THAT WAS MY — THE MAIN REASON I
CALLED.
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225. THAT WAS MY — THE MAIN REASON I
CALLED.
GET BACK HOME, PUT YOUR
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226. CALLED.
GET BACK HOME, PUT YOUR
DIAPERS ON, AND MAYBE MAKE A
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227. GET BACK HOME, PUT YOUR
DIAPERS ON, AND MAYBE MAKE A
LITTLE PUP-PUP.
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228. DIAPERS ON, AND MAYBE MAKE A
LITTLE PUP-PUP.
ALL RIGHT?
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229. LITTLE PUP-PUP.
ALL RIGHT?
BUH-BYE!
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230. ALL RIGHT?
BUH-BYE!
GEEZ, MAN.
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231. BUH-BYE!
GEEZ, MAN.
HOW'D HE GET OUR ADDRESS?
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232. IS THAT THE REST OF THE
APPLE COURT STUFF?
YEAH — EMPTY.
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233. APPLE COURT STUFF?
YEAH — EMPTY.
CLEAN AS A WHISTLE.
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234. YEAH — EMPTY.
CLEAN AS A WHISTLE.
ALL RIGHT, PULL IT IN
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235. CLEAN AS A WHISTLE.
ALL RIGHT, PULL IT IN
AND UNLOAD IT.
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236. ALL RIGHT, PULL IT IN
AND UNLOAD IT.
YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO.
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237. AND UNLOAD IT.
YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO.
ALL RIGHT.
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238. YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO.
ALL RIGHT.
THANKS, JOEY.
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239. ALL RIGHT.
THANKS, JOEY.
ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA BE
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240. THANKS, JOEY.
ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA BE
SETTING THE DVD PLAYER WITH A
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241. ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA BE
SETTING THE DVD PLAYER WITH A
RESERVE OF $75 AND A "BUY NOW"
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242. SETTING THE DVD PLAYER WITH A
RESERVE OF $75 AND A "BUY NOW"
AT $100.
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243. RESERVE OF $75 AND A "BUY NOW"
AT $100.
HOW'S THAT SOUND?
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244. AT $100.
HOW'S THAT SOUND?
ERIC?
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245. HOW'S THAT SOUND?
ERIC?
YEAH. THAT'S FINE.
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246. ERIC?
YEAH. THAT'S FINE.
OKAY.
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247. YEAH. THAT'S FINE.
OKAY.
YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT
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248. OKAY.
YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT
THIS?
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249. YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT
THIS?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
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250. THIS?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
IT'S A FAIR PRICE.
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251. WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
IT'S A FAIR PRICE.
I COULD PROBABLY GO DOWN A
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252. IT'S A FAIR PRICE.
I COULD PROBABLY GO DOWN A
LITTLE BIT.
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253. I COULD PROBABLY GO DOWN A
LITTLE BIT.
YEAH, I KNOW.
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254. LITTLE BIT.
YEAH, I KNOW.
I'M TALKING ABOUT JORDY IN
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255. YEAH, I KNOW.
I'M TALKING ABOUT JORDY IN
PARTICULAR.
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256. I'M TALKING ABOUT JORDY IN
PARTICULAR.
ERIC, COME ON.
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257. PARTICULAR.
ERIC, COME ON.
THIS IS THE SCAM.
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258. ERIC, COME ON.
THIS IS THE SCAM.
I MEAN, IT'S NOT — IT'S NOT
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259. THIS IS THE SCAM.
I MEAN, IT'S NOT — IT'S NOT
PRETTY, BUT WE GOT TO SEE IT
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260. I MEAN, IT'S NOT — IT'S NOT
PRETTY, BUT WE GOT TO SEE IT
THROUGH.
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261. PRETTY, BUT WE GOT TO SEE IT
THROUGH.
YEAH, I KNOW ALL THAT,
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262. THROUGH.
YEAH, I KNOW ALL THAT,
BUT LAST NIGHT, I WAS THROWING
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263. YEAH, I KNOW ALL THAT,
BUT LAST NIGHT, I WAS THROWING
UP BLOOD JUST THINKING ABOUT IT.
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264. BUT LAST NIGHT, I WAS THROWING
UP BLOOD JUST THINKING ABOUT IT.
THAT'S GUILT FOR YA.
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265. UP BLOOD JUST THINKING ABOUT IT.
THAT'S GUILT FOR YA.
I LOVE YOU.
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266. THAT'S GUILT FOR YA.
I LOVE YOU.
YOU KNOW THAT.
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267. I LOVE YOU.
YOU KNOW THAT.
I LOVE BEING BROTHERS WITH YOU.
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268. YOU KNOW THAT.
I LOVE BEING BROTHERS WITH YOU.
BUT...
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269. I LOVE BEING BROTHERS WITH YOU.
BUT...
TELL YOU WHAT.
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270. BUT...
TELL YOU WHAT.
I GOT AN IDEA THAT MIGHT MAKE
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271. TELL YOU WHAT.
I GOT AN IDEA THAT MIGHT MAKE
THIS RIGHT.
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272. I GOT AN IDEA THAT MIGHT MAKE
THIS RIGHT.
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273. THIS RIGHT.
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274. HI.
UH, I WOULD LIKE A TABLE FOR
ONE, PLEASE.
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275. UH, I WOULD LIKE A TABLE FOR
ONE, PLEASE.
MM-HMM.
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276. ONE, PLEASE.
MM-HMM.
AND I HAVE A GIFT
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277. MM-HMM.
AND I HAVE A GIFT
CERTIFICATE.
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278. AND I HAVE A GIFT
CERTIFICATE.
MM...
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279. CERTIFICATE.
MM...
WHERE'D YOU GET THIS?
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280. MM...
WHERE'D YOU GET THIS?
THIS IS NOT FROM US.
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281. WHERE'D YOU GET THIS?
THIS IS NOT FROM US.
UM... S-SORRY.
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282. THIS IS NOT FROM US.
UM... S-SORRY.
IT SAYS — IT SAYS "GIFT
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283. UM... S-SORRY.
IT SAYS — IT SAYS "GIFT
CERTIFICATE SIGNED," SO...
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284. IT SAYS — IT SAYS "GIFT
CERTIFICATE SIGNED," SO...
NO.
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285. CERTIFICATE SIGNED," SO...
NO.
WE DON'T DO GIFT CERTIFICATES.
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286. NO.
WE DON'T DO GIFT CERTIFICATES.
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287. WE DON'T DO GIFT CERTIFICATES.
SHOOT!
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288. SHOOT!
I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN.
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289. SHOOT!
I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN.
DAMN IT!
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290. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN.
DAMN IT!
WHAT?
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291. DAMN IT!
WHAT?
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292. WHAT?
JUST, THE TWO BUTTHOLES THAT
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293. JUST, THE TWO BUTTHOLES THAT
GAVE THIS TO ME HAVE BEEN
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294. JUST, THE TWO BUTTHOLES THAT
GAVE THIS TO ME HAVE BEEN
MESSING WITH ME FOR DAYS.
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295. GAVE THIS TO ME HAVE BEEN
MESSING WITH ME FOR DAYS.
THEY TOOK ALL MY STUFF AND THEY
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296. MESSING WITH ME FOR DAYS.
THEY TOOK ALL MY STUFF AND THEY
MADE ME ACT LIKE A BABY, AND NOW
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297. THEY TOOK ALL MY STUFF AND THEY
MADE ME ACT LIKE A BABY, AND NOW
THIS.
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298. MADE ME ACT LIKE A BABY, AND NOW
THIS.
AW, NO. TAKE IT EASY.
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299. THIS.
AW, NO. TAKE IT EASY.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
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300. AW, NO. TAKE IT EASY.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
I'M JORDAN.
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301. WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
I'M JORDAN.
I'M GABRIELLE.
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302. I'M JORDAN.
I'M GABRIELLE.
WHY DON'T YOU SIT DOWN, HAVE A
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303. I'M GABRIELLE.
WHY DON'T YOU SIT DOWN, HAVE A
BOWL OF CHICKEN SOUP ON ME?
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304. WHY DON'T YOU SIT DOWN, HAVE A
BOWL OF CHICKEN SOUP ON ME?
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305. BOWL OF CHICKEN SOUP ON ME?
REALLY?
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306. REALLY?
FREE SOUP?
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307. REALLY?
FREE SOUP?
[ SLURPS, GRUNTS ]
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308. GOOD SOUP?
OH! IT...
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309. OH! IT...
IT'S DELICIOUS.
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310. IT'S DELICIOUS.
OH. I JUST BURNT MY TONGUE.
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311. IT'S DELICIOUS.
OH. I JUST BURNT MY TONGUE.
OHH.
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312. OH. I JUST BURNT MY TONGUE.
OHH.
THANKS, GABRIELLE.
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313. OHH.
THANKS, GABRIELLE.
SURE. YEAH.
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314. THANKS, GABRIELLE.
SURE. YEAH.
YOU MIND?
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315. SURE. YEAH.
YOU MIND?
OKAY.
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316. YOU MIND?
OKAY.
OH, THANKS.
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317. OKAY.
OH, THANKS.
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318. OH, THANKS.
JUST WANT TO SIT.
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319. JUST WANT TO SIT.
IT LOOKS GOOD.
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320. IT LOOKS GOOD.
HEY, CAN I ASK YOU A... QUESTION?
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321. IT LOOKS GOOD.
HEY, CAN I ASK YOU A... QUESTION?
DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST
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322. HEY, CAN I ASK YOU A... QUESTION?
DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST
SIGHT?
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323. I GUESS SO.
REALLY?
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324. REALLY?
YEAH.
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325. YEAH.
DO YOU LOVE ME?
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326. ARE YOU SERIOUS?
YEAH.
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327. YES.
YES, I DO.
OH, AND I LOVE YOU.
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328. YES, I DO.
OH, AND I LOVE YOU.
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329. OH, AND I LOVE YOU.
I JUST SAID IT. I —
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330. I JUST SAID IT. I —
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331. I JUST SAID IT. I —
WOW.
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332. WOW.
I SAID IT.
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333. WOW.
I SAID IT.
OHHH.
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334. I SAID IT.
OHHH.
WOW.
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335. OHHH.
WOW.
IT WAS PRETTY COOL.
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336. WOW.
IT WAS PRETTY COOL.
YEAH.
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337. IT WAS PRETTY COOL.
YEAH.
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338. YEAH.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.
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339. I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.
OHHHH.
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340. I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.
OHHHH.
YOU REALLY LOVE ME?
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341. OHHHH.
YOU REALLY LOVE ME?
HOW CAN YOU BE SO STUPID?
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342. YOU REALLY LOVE ME?
HOW CAN YOU BE SO STUPID?
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343. HOW CAN YOU BE SO STUPID?
I JUST MET YOU!
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344. FIGURES.
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345. I'M SORRY.
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346. I'M SORRY.
I JUST LIKE TO KID.
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347. I JUST LIKE TO KID.
I-I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS IS.
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348. I-I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS IS.
WHY DOES EVERYONE PLAY PRANKS ON
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349. I-I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS IS.
WHY DOES EVERYONE PLAY PRANKS ON
ME?
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350. WHY DOES EVERYONE PLAY PRANKS ON
ME?
EVER SINCE I WAS A KID...
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351. ME?
EVER SINCE I WAS A KID...
MY MOM, EVEN, USED TO PUT MY
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352. EVER SINCE I WAS A KID...
MY MOM, EVEN, USED TO PUT MY
SOCKS IN THE FREEZER, AND IN THE
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353. MY MOM, EVEN, USED TO PUT MY
SOCKS IN THE FREEZER, AND IN THE
MORNING, I'D HAVE COLD SOCKS.
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354. SOCKS IN THE FREEZER, AND IN THE
MORNING, I'D HAVE COLD SOCKS.
MY DAD WOULD LEAVE ME AT THE
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355. MORNING, I'D HAVE COLD SOCKS.
MY DAD WOULD LEAVE ME AT THE
REST STOP ON PURPOSE.
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356. MY DAD WOULD LEAVE ME AT THE
REST STOP ON PURPOSE.
AND THEN THEY'D PUT PEAS IN MY
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357. REST STOP ON PURPOSE.
AND THEN THEY'D PUT PEAS IN MY
LOCKER IN HIGH SCHOOL, AND THEN
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358. AND THEN THEY'D PUT PEAS IN MY
LOCKER IN HIGH SCHOOL, AND THEN
THE — FOR 8th-GRADE GRADUATION,
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359. LOCKER IN HIGH SCHOOL, AND THEN
THE — FOR 8th-GRADE GRADUATION,
THEY GAVE ME A FAKE DIPLOMA...
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360. THE — FOR 8th-GRADE GRADUATION,
THEY GAVE ME A FAKE DIPLOMA...
OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
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361. THEY GAVE ME A FAKE DIPLOMA...
OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
I DON'T — I DON'T LIKE
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362. OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
I DON'T — I DON'T LIKE
HOW THIS FEELS, GABRIELLE.
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363. I DON'T — I DON'T LIKE
HOW THIS FEELS, GABRIELLE.
OKAY.
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364. HOW THIS FEELS, GABRIELLE.
OKAY.
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365. OKAY.
AND I JUST WISH THAT
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366. AND I JUST WISH THAT
PEOPLE WOULD JUST LEAVE ME
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367. AND I JUST WISH THAT
PEOPLE WOULD JUST LEAVE ME
ALONE.
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368. PEOPLE WOULD JUST LEAVE ME
ALONE.
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369. ALONE.
JUST — I —
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370. JUST — I —
JORDAN.
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371. JUST — I —
JORDAN.
I — I-I-I —
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372. JORDAN.
I — I-I-I —
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373. I — I-I-I —
WHAT'S THE MATTER? SUGAR.
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374. WHAT'S THE MATTER? SUGAR.
NO, I-I-I DON'T...
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375. WHAT'S THE MATTER? SUGAR.
NO, I-I-I DON'T...
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376. NO, I-I-I DON'T...
ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH THOSE
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377. ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH THOSE
BABY GUYS?
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378. ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH THOSE
BABY GUYS?
I —
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379. BABY GUYS?
I —
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380. I —
JORDY.
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381. JORDY.
JORDY.
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382. JORDY.
JORDY.
[ DISTORTED TICKING, GRINDING ]
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383. OOPS.
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