Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! 5x8

Directed by

Bob Odenkirk as Romm Oah Denmirk • Aixa Maldonado as Boh Boh • Rain Chung as Rapping Dad • Lary Crews as Rapping Dad

Tim and Eric go on a quest to determine who is number one handsome man. Meanwhile, a party is successfully slept away with Cinco Face-Time Party Snoozer.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. >>

2. >> Eric: "DEAR ERIC — YOU ARE

3. TOTALLY HANDSOME.

4. LIKE WAY, WAY, WAY, WAY MORE

5. THAN TIM HEIDECKER.

6. PLEASE COME OVER AND LOOK AT MY

7. BAZAANS.

8. LOVE, KELLY."

9. >> Tim: WHAT ARE YOU DOING

10. THERE?

11. WHAT'S THIS?

12. >> Eric: OH, I'M JUST CHECKING

13. OUT SOME OF MY FAN MAIL.

14. IT KIND OF CONFIRMS THAT I'M THE

15. MOST HANDSOME OUT OF THE WHOLE

16. "TIM AND ERIC" THING.

17. >> Tim: UH, WELL, ACCORDING TO

18. WHAT I KNOW ABOUT OUR FANS,

19. I'D — I'D GATHER TO SAY I'M THE

20. MORE HANDSOME ONE IN THE TERMS

21. OF WHO'S HANDSOME.

22. >> Eric: I'M THE MOST HANDSOME!

23. >> Tim: BELIEVE ME — I WANT THE

24. BEST THINGS TO HAPPEN TO YOU,

25. BUT I'M THE MOST HANDSOME MAN.

26. >> Eric: "DEAR ERIC, COME LOOK

27. AT MY VAG-JOH.

28. YOU'RE HANDSOME."

29. ALL THIS — ALL THIS SAYS THAT

30. I'M A HANDSOME.

31. >> Tim: I HAVE 10 TIMES THOSE

32. AMOUNT OF LETTERS SAYING THAT

33. I'M HANDSOME, BUT WHAT I DO IS I

34. SCAN THEM IN AND I THROW THE

35. LETTERS AWAY AND DIGITIZE

36. EVERYTHING — KEEP A CLEAN

37. RECORD OF MY ACCOUNTS.

38. >> Eric: TIM, THERE'S A WHOLE

39. BAG OF THIS TO PROVE IT.

40. >> Tim: WELL, LOOK ON MY LAPTOP!

41. >> Eric: ALL THIS HANDSOME.

42. >> Tim: THAT'S A WASTE.

43. ALL RIGHT.

44. YOU KNOW WHAT WE SHOULD DO?

45. WHY DON'T WE JUST GET A

46. THREE-PERSON PANEL AND HAVE A

47. CONTEST AND SEE WHO'S THE MOST

48. HANDSOME?

49. MAY THE LUCK OF THE IRISH SMILE

50. ON YOU.

51. >> Eric: GOOD LUCK, TIM.

52. >> Announcer: COMING SOON,

53. "WHO'S NUMBER ONE HANDSOME MAN?"

54. WITH GUEST JUDGE RICHARD DUNN.

55. >> ♪ I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING,

56. >> Both: ♪ IT'S A PERFECT DAD

57. >> Tim: YOU GOT A BUNCH OF

58. IN YOUR TEETH.

59. >> Eric: WHERE?

60. >> Tim: ALL OVER. IN EVERY ONE.

61. YOU GOT BROCCOLI IN THERE.

62. >> WELCOME TO THE SHOW.

63. TODAY WE'RE GONNA DETERMINE WHO

64. IS THE MOST HANDSOME BOY.

65. AND TODAY WE HAVE

66. DIM HEIDECKER AND ERIC WOREHAM.

67. WHICH ONE OF YOU BOYS IS GONNA

68. GO FIRST?

69. >> Tim: GOOD AFTERNOON.

70. >> Eric: THANKS SO MUCH, RICH.

71. >> Tim: I'M FIRST.

72. WE AGREED I'M FIRST.

73. >> Both: THANK YOU.

74. >> Tim: I'LL START.

75. MY NAME IS TIM HEI—

76. >> Eric: I'M ERIC WARE—

77. >> Tim: AH, OKAY.

78. >> Eric: HI.

79. MY NAME IS ERIC WAREHEIM.

80. I'M THE MOST HANDSOMEST MAN.

81. UH, MY PARENTS SAID I'M THE MOST

82. HANDSOME, AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR

83. MY VIDEO TO PROVE I'M

84. NUMBER-ONE HANDSY-BOY.

85. ]

86. OHHH, YEAH!

87. OH, YEAH!

88. >> OH, YEAH!

89. >> Eric: OH, YEAH!

90. >> OH, YEAH!

91. >> Eric: OH, YEAH!

92. OH, YEAH!

93. OH, YEAH!

94. OH, YEAH!

95. WELL, THERE YOU

96. HAVE IT.

97. THAT'S MY ENTRY FOR

98. "NUMBER ONE HANDSOME BOY."

99. THANKS FOR RUNNING IN THE RACE.

100. >> Announcer: "NUMBER ONE

101. HANDSOME MAN" WILL BE RIGHT

102. BACK!

103. >> HONEY?

104. >> HMM?

105. >> COME ON, HONEY. WAKE UP.

106. >> NO. I'M SO TIRED.

107. >> IT'S OUR ENGAGEMENT PARTY.

108. ALL OF OUR FRIENDS ARE GONNA BE

109. HERE.

110. >> I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO

111. ANYBODY.

112. I WANT TO SLEEP.

113. >> FINE.

114. PUT ON YOUR CINCO FACE TIME

115. PARTY SNOOZER, THEN.

116. >> CINCO FACE TIME PARTY

117. SNOOZER.

118. >> Announcer: IT'S THE CINCO

119. FACE TIME PARTY SNOOZER!

120. SLEEP RIGHT THROUGH PARTIES AND

121. SOCIAL GATHERINGS WITHOUT ANYONE

122. NOTICING.

123. >> MY ACCOUNTANT TELLS ME THAT I

124. MIGHT BE ELIGIBLE FOR A

125. 436 REBATE NOW...

126. SURE, WHY NOT.

127. >> ... AND AS A SMALL-BUSINESS

128. OWNER, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU

129. WANT TO HEAR...

130. I UNDERSTAND.

131. >> ... REBATES...

132. OKAY. THANKS FOR COMING.

133. >> Announcer: THE CINCO FACE

134. TIME PARTY SNOOZER FEATURES FIVE

135. DISTINCT AUDIO RESPONSES USING

136. MY PROFESSIONAL VOICE!

137. AND THE CINCO FACE TIME PARTY

138. SNOOZER COMES WITH THIS AMAZING

139. BODY BRACE AND EARPHONES THAT

140. PIPE IN SOOTHING MUSIC SO YOU

141. WON'T NEED TO HEAR A SINGLE WORD

142. ANYONE IS SAYING.

143. >> I WAKE UP AT

144. 7:30...

145. >> Announcer: TAKE PART IN

146. INTERESTING CONVERSATIONS WHILE

147. YOU GET MUCH-NEEDED REST.

148. >> WE'D BE ON THIS RIVER...

149. OKAY.

150. >> ... WIND AROUND LIKE THIS.

151. SURE, WHY NOT?

152. >> WE HAD OUR...

153. I UNDERSTAND.

154. >> ... PULL IN THE FISH...

155. I UNDERSTAND.

156. >> ... FLAPPING AROUND...

157. SOUNDS GOOD. OKAY. OKAY.

158. >> BUT...

159. THANKS FOR COMING.

160. >> WE CAUGHT, MAYBE, I DON'T

161. KNOW, A DOZEN OR SO.

162. I UNDERSTAND.

163. >> ... BLUE RIVER...

164. OKAY.

165. >> REALLY GORGEOUS.

166. SURE, WHY NOT?

167. >> Announcer: IT'S THE CINCO

168. FACE TIME PARTY SNOOZER!

169. I UNDERSTAND.

170. >> Tim: THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

171. MY NAME IS TIM HEIDECKER, AND I

172. AM MOST HANDSOME.

173. AND TO PROVE MY POINT, I HAVE

174. PRODUCED A VIDEO.

175. AND I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT.

176. PRESS "PLAY."

177. >> Tim: I'M TIM HEIDECKER.

178. UM, I'M AN AQUARIUS.

179. >> Tim: I LOVE MY EYES AND MY

180. LEGS PROBABLY THE MOST.

181. WHEN I SHOWER, I ALWAYS CATCH

182. MYSELF LOOKING AT MY BODY IN THE

183. MIRROR.

184. AND IT TURNS ME ON.

185. I DON'T KNOW WHAT

186. YOU WANT ME TO SAY.

187. I WANT TO GIVE A BIG SHOUT-OUT

188. TO MIKE ZANETTI FOR CAMERAWORK

189. ON THIS.

190. THANKS, MIKE.

191. >> Eric: IT'S NOT BAD.

192. >> Tim: MY IDEAL DATE WOULD

193. BE — UM, UH, IT WOULD BE MY

194. BIRTHDAY AND MY DATE'S BIRTHDAY,

195. AND WE WOULD BOTH HAVE A FINE

196. DINING EXPERIENCE, AND, UH, WE

197. WOULD END THE NIGHT BY MAKING

198. LOVE.

199. >> Tim:

200. >> Tim: THE BLOOD THAT RUNS

201. THROUGH MY BODY IS — IS HOT AND

202. WET AND RED, AND IT WOULD SPILL

203. ALL OVER YOU.

204. >> Eric: SO, YOU CAN STOP.

205. YOU CAN STOP.

206. THEY'RE NOT — THEY DON'T —

207. NOT INTERESTED.

208. >> Eric: I JUST WANTED TO SET

209. THE RECORD STRAIGHT.

210. I HAD NO HELP FROM MIKE ZANETTI.

211. I JUST HAD A LITTLE BIT OF

212. CREATIVE CONSULTING HELP FROM

213. BILB ONO.

214. >>

215. BOH BOH, WHO DO YOU FIND THE

216. MOST HANDSOME?

217. >> I FIND ERIC MOST HANDSOME.

218. >> Eric: THANK YOU.

219. >> AND, BOHDAR, WHO DO YOU FIND

220. THE MOST HANDSOME?

221. >> I FIND TIM THE MOST HANDSOME.

222. >> Tim: YEAH! THAT'S MY GIRL.

223. >> Announcer: WHO WILL WIN

224. "NUMBER ONE HANDSOME MAN?"

225. COMING UP NEXT.

226. >> ♪ I CLEAN OUT THE GUTTERS

227. >> Announcer: GREAT JOB.

228. AND NOW THE FINAL ROUND OF THE

229. "NUMBER ONE HANDSOME MAN"

230. CONTEST.

231. >> WELL, LOOKS LIKE I'M THE

232. TIEBREAKER.

233. AND WHAT I COULD DO, I WANT TO

234. FRENCH KISS EACH ONE OF YOU.

235. BY FRENCH KISSING EACH ONE OF

236. YOU, I WOULD KNOW WHO IS THE

237. MOST HANDSOME.

238. >> Announcer: OOH!

239. TIEBREAKER FRENCH KISS!

240. >> Tim: I'M SORRY.

241. YOU WANT US TO KISS YOU?

242. ON THE MOUTH? FRENCH S-STYLE?

243. >> OH, YES.

244. JUST BOTH KISS WITH YOUR TONGUE.

245. >> Eric: YOU WANT MY SPIT THAT'S

246. BEEN IN THERE F-FROM LUNCH —

247. THE "SHAWARMA" AND EVERYTHING?

248. >> YES!

249. >> Tim: YOU WANT MY PINK TONGUE

250. TOUCHING YOUR — THAT YELLOW

251. MOUTH?

252. >> COME AND FRENCH ME, BOYS.

253. COME AND FRENCH ME,

254. BOYS.

255. COME AND FRENCH ME, BOYS.

256. COME AND FRENCH ME, BOYS.

257. >>