Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! 5x6

Directed by

Christien Bastin as Man 1 • Greg Michael Boyd as Father • Jonathon Lamer as Man 2 • Bill Lewis as Hotel Clerk • Ron Lynch as Musky Tusk Announcer (voice)

Tim wears a Cinco Musky Tusk Necklace for good luck, while claiming that Eric's rabbit's foot necklace has no effect. Pierre dreams of a barbecue while under the influence of Dream Cream. The Cinco Bro-oche is advertised in a parody of the Eye Tanning System from "C.O.R.B.S."

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. >> Tim: ♪ MY DAD LETS ME EAT MY

2. >> Eric: ♪ WHY DON'T YOU ASK

3. UGH!

4. >> Tim: ♪ MY BOOGIES DON'T TASTE

5. >> Eric: ♪ YOU'RE MAKING ME

6. >> Tim: MMM. MY ONLY MEAL OF THE

7. DAY.

8. >> Tim: IF YOU, LIKE...

9. IF YOU STAND LIKE THAT, I

10. COULD...

11. WELL, "MELCOME" TO

12. "TIM AND ERIC: AWESOME SHOW"...

13. >> Eric: HI —

14. >> Tim: "GREAT JOB!"

15. >> Eric: HEY, TV CELEBRITY

16. ERIC WAREHEIM HERE.

17. HOW ARE YOU?

18. >> Tim: WELCOME TO OUR SHOW.

19. UH...

20. >> Eric: OH, MAN.

21. SMELL UP HERE — IT'S LIKE A

22. MUSK, LIKE A SEWAGE SMELL UP

23. HERE.

24. >> Tim: WELL, IT MIGHT JUST BE

25. MY MUSKY TUSK NECKLACE THAT I'M

26. WEARING.

27. >> Eric: WHAT?

28. >> THE CINCO MUSKY TUSK IS

29. GUARANTEED TO GIVE YOU GOOD

30. LUCK.

31. USE THE MUSKY TUSK FOR...

32. JUST SMEAR THE REMAINS OF A DEAD

33. ANIMAL ON AND AROUND THE TUSKS

34. TO ACTIVATE YOUR LUCKY FORTUNE.

35. THE SMELL MEANS IT'S WORKING.

36. >> Eric: I MEAN, IT'S STRONG.

37. IT'S LIKE — IT'S NOT BAD.

38. IT'S JUST LIKE A ROTTEN — LIKE

39. A DEATH SMELL.

40. >> Tim: WELL, IT GIVES ME

41. TERRIFIC LUCK, AND IT'S REALLY

42. FORTUNATE THAT I HAVE SO MUCH

43. LUCK AND YOU DON'T HAVE ANY

44. LUCK.

45. >> Eric: I SURE COULD USE SOME

46. LUCK.

47. I WISH I HAD A COOL NECKLACE

48. LIKE THAT, TOO.

49. >>

50. MAN, WHAT A BAD DAY.

51. DAMN, I'M BUSHED.

52. BETTER PUT ON SOME OF THIS

53. DREAM CREAM.

54. KEEP AWAY THE NIGHTMARES.

55. DAMN, THIS COLD.

56. THAT'S NICE.

57. FEELS GOOD.

58. JUST IN CASE, I'M GONNA PUT SOME

59. ON MY LIPS.

60. HOPE IT'S NOT POISONOUS.

61. GOOD NIGHT, HOAGIE MAN.

62. >> GOOD NIGHT, PIERRE.

63. >> HI, BEAUTIFUL BOY.

64. WELCOME TO MY DREAM.

65. YOU DON'T SMELL LIKE DIAPERS.

66. FOR A BARBECUE DINNER.

67. THERE'S SOME SITES FOR DADS, AND

68. THERE'S SOME SITES FOR CHILDREN.

69. WE'RE LOOKING AT THE SITES FOR

70. DADS NOW.

71. MEGABYTES PER SECOND MUST BE IN

72. THE BILLIONS.

73. I'M GONNA GET SOME EXTREME

74. DOWNLOADS TONIGHT.

75. OH, PLEASE, LORD, DON'T LET THIS

76. WONDERFUL CREAM BE POISONOUS.

77. >> Tim: UGH.

78. 9.

79. >> ONE LARGE O.J.

80. >> Tim: UH, I ACTUALLY ORDERED A

81. ORANGE JUICE.

82. >> OH. WELL, THAT'S OKAY.

83. MY MISTAKE.

84. JUST KEEP IT.

85. >> Tim: AHH.

86. >> THAT'S ONE LUCKY DUCK!

87. >> Eric:

88. WANTED TO SHOW YOU THIS.

89. >> Tim: WELL, I NOTICED YOU GOT

90. A NEW NECKLACE.

91. >> Eric: YEP, A LUCKY

92. RABBIT'S FOOT NECKLACE.

93. THE WAY IT WORKS IS YOU KISS ONE

94. FOR LUCK, ANOTHER FOR LUCK,

95. ANOTHER FOR LUCK.

96. IT'S PERFECT.

97. >> Tim:

98. SORRY, BUDDY.

99. I THINK YOU GOT TAKEN ADVANTAGE

100. OF THERE A LITTLE BIT.

101. THOSE THINGS ARE A RIP-OFF.

102. THEY'RE FULL OF DISEASE.

103. THEY BRING YOU NO LUCK.

104. I JUST HOPE YOU KEPT THE

105. RECEIPT.

106. >> Eric: Damn it.

107. >> I'M ALONE MOST

108. OF THE TIME.

109. BUT TONIGHT, A DOUBLE DATE.

110. WE'LL MAKE IT FUN.

111. I WILL ENJOY SPENDING TIME WITH

112. A NEW WOMAN AND MY FRIEND RUDY.

113. OH, LOOK.

114. RUDY'S HERE.

115. HE'S EVEN EARLY.

116. MAKE LOVE TONIGHT.

117. I'm a joke.

118. >> HEY, KENT, YOU READY FOR OUR

119. DOUBLE DATE?

120. >> YES, VERY EXCITED, BUDDY.

121. AA-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-H!

122. >> AA-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-H!

123. >>

124. >> KENT, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

125. WHAT'S THE MATTER?

126. >> YOUR SHIRT.

127. IT'S SO PLAIN.

128. IT'S MAKING ME SICK.

129. AND YOU'RE NOT WEARING A

130. BRO-OCHE.

131. >> A BROOCH?

132. BUT AREN'T THEY FOR WOMEN?

133. >> NO, A BRO-OCHE FROM

134. CINCO MEN.

135. >> JAZZ UP ANY PLAIN SHIRT WITH

136. THE MAN BRO-OCHE FROM CINCO MEN.

137. HERE'S HOW IT WORKS.

138. FIRST, YOUR SKIN IS LUBED WITH A

139. RELAXING COOLING GEL.

140. THIS ALSO SLIGHTLY NUMBS YOUR

141. SHOULDER WHERE THE BRO-OCHE WILL

142. BE ADHERED.

143. THEN YOUR TEETH ARE REMOVED.

144. YOU DON'T WANT TO BITE YOUR

145. TONGUE OFF FROM THE PAIN.

146. NEXT, A 4-FOOT REAMING HOLE IS

147. DRILLED INTO THE SKIN AND BONE.

148. AND NOW YOU'RE READY TO SCREW ON

149. THAT BEAUTIFUL MALE BRO-OCHE.

150. YOU CAN CHOOSE FROM HUNDREDS OF

151. COOL BRO-OCHES, LIKE THE

152. PEACE SIGNAL...

153. A MEASURING ROD...

154. AND MY FAVORITE, THE DECORATIVE

155. MASCULINE FLOWER.

156. >> I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

157. YOU GOT A NICE SET OF PEARLS

158. THERE IN THAT MOUTH.

159. SEE? IT DIDN'T HURT A BIT WHEN

160. THEY PULLED THEM OUT.

161. HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.

162. WHERE'S YOUR BRO-OCHE?

163. >> KENT, YOU JUST TOLD ME ABOUT

164. THIS.

165. I HAVEN'T HAD A CHANCE TO GET

166. THE PROCEDURE YET.

167. >> MIMI, I'M A HANDSOME MAN AND

168. A BRO-OCHE MAN.

169. >> ME-ME WANTS A BRO-OCHE.

170. >> YOU SHOULD GET THE BRO-OCHE

171. SYSTEM.

172. >> THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE PLAN FOR

173. ME.

174. >> Tim: 9.

175. >> OKAY, MR. CLOVIS...

176. GOT YOU RIGHT HERE.

177. UNFORTUNATELY, WE DON'T HAVE ANY

178. ECONOMY ROOMS.

179. >> Tim: PFFT!

180. >> I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, THOUGH.

181. I'LL JUST UPGRADE YOU TO A

182. STANDARD ROOM, WHICH INCLUDES A

183. COMPLEMENTARY BREAKFAST AND A

184. SMALL ORANGE JUICE.

185. >> Tim: AHH.

186. >> THAT'S ONE LUCKY DUCK!

187. I WOULDN'T MIND PUTTING MY

188. FINGER THROUGH THAT MUSTACHE.

189. THIS IS THE BEST DREAM I EVER

190. HAD ABOUT A BOY.

191. THESE MEATS ARE SPOILED.

192. THIS IS ROTTEN MEAT!

193. THERE'S MAGGOTS IN HERE!

194. AAH!

195. HEY, WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH

196. THIS INTERNET?

197. IT'S SLOW!

198. WHAT THE IS THIS?

199. DIAL-UP?

200. WHERE'D THAT MUSTACHE GO?

201. WHERE'D HIS MUSTACHE GO?

202. AAH!

203. THIS IS A NIGHTMARE!

204. WAKE ME UP, HOAGIE MAN!

205. AAH!

206. HOAGIE MAN, HELP ME!

207. HELP ME, HOAGIE MAN!

208. >> HOAGIE MAN CAN'T HELP YOU

209. NOW.

210. >> THE DRIVE THIS MORNING WAS

211. PRETTY GOOD.

212. IT ONLY TOOK AN HOUR TO GET

213. HERE.

214. IT'S ALMOST LIKE THEY ADDED A

215. COUPLE LANES, BUT THEY DIDN'T DO

216. ANYTHING TO THEM.

217. BUT THEN WHEN I HIT THE 101, IT

218. JUST BACKED UP LIKE THERE WAS NO

219. TOMORROW.

220. AND THEN IT TOOK ME ABOUT

221. 10 MINUTES TO GET OUT OF THAT

222. MESS.

223. AND THEN, FINALLY, I WAS ABLE TO

224. FIND WHERE I HAD TO GO AND THEN

225. PASSED UP THE STREET ONLY TWICE.

226. THANKS TO THE GPS, IT GOT ME

227. BACK AROUND WHERE I NEEDED TO

228. GO.

229. THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.

230. >> Tim: THAT'S THE ONE.

231. >> Eric: YOU KNOW WHAT, TIM?

232. FORGET THIS NECKLACE.

233. YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT THE

234. MUSKY TUSK.

235. IT'S LIKE 10 TIMES MORE LUCKY

236. THAN ANY OTHER NECKLACE, AND I

237. DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

238. IT'S GREAT.

239. >> Tim: LISTEN, I ACCEPT YOUR

240. APOLOGY, AND YOU ARE A GOOD

241. FRIEND.

242. WANT TO ADD THERE IS ONE LITTLE

243. DRAWBACK TO IT.

244. I HAVE BECOME A LITTLE ADDICTED

245. TO RUBBING DEAD ANIMALS ON MY

246. BODY, THOUGH.

247. AHH!

248. YEAH.

249. >> Tim: OHH!

250. >> Tim: OH, GEEZ.

251. IT'S A BLOODY MUSKY TUSK.

252. [ END THEME MUSIC STARTS,

253. STOPS ]

254. >> Eric: NO, NO. NOT YET.

255. OKAY, NOW.

256. >> Tim: OH!