1. Oh.
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2. Hello, ladies and gentlemen.
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3. This is James quall again.
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4. And now I'll... now we'll hear
what President Ronald Reagan
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5. would have to say about this.
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6. Well...
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7. Spaghetti and meatballs can be
eaten, uh, with tomato sauce or,
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8. uh... or you could try, uh,
David stock man's suggestion and
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9. have it with ketchup.
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10. I'm quall.
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11. Tim and Eric awesome show
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12. Tim and Eric awesome show.
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13. One, two, three!
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14. Ho!
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15. I mean, I think it's key to
remember that a lot of great
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16. jazz musicians weren't even
professional jazz musicians.
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17. They didn't make money doing it.
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18. For example, to this day, I'm...
I work at a pizza restaurant as
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19. host.
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20. The way a jazz musician
works is jazz is your passion.
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21. What I do is I manage a lot of children.
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22. We go on camping retreats.
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23. And I actually, at night, when
they're asleep, I will put on a
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24. little jazz... little boogie-woogie.
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25. And so when they wake up, they
are irritable, and they did not
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26. have a pleasant night's sleep like jazz.
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27. Nor should they.
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28. One, two, three.
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29. Ho!
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30. Take it!
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31. I'm gonna throw this at you.
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32. R-Ra juch, r-ra juch r-ra-ba-Dee zup.
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33. Hi.
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34. I'm Maria bamford, and welcome
to "cleaning up after your cat."
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35. I'm here with my good friend Matt.
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36. I was surprised he would come on
after all the things we've been
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37. through together.
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38. It's so important to clean up
after your cat, Matt, wouldn't
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39. you say?
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40. Mm-hmm.
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41. Do you clean up after your cat?
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42. No! And that's why we broke up!
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43. What are your cats' names?
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44. Mr. Mistopholis.
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45. Okay.
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46. And skimble shanks.
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47. Skimble shanks.
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48. And grizabella.
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49. And grizabella.
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50. Okay.
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51. Which is which?
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52. I
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53. Eat it!
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54. Wa-ba wa-ba-ba?
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55. Fa wa-ba wa.
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56. Please.
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57. B-B-Beaver boys b-b-b-beaver boys
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58. shrimp and white wine.
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59. Here you are, sir.
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60. The shrimp scampi.
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61. And for the gentleman, the
grilled shrimp salad.
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62. I'll be back with your drinks.
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63. Shrimp!
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64. Shrimp!
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65. Both: Shrimp. Twins.
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66. Shrimp. Twins.
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67. Shrimp!
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68. And the house chardonnay for
the gentleman.
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69. White wine!
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70. White wine!
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71. White wine! White wine!
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72. Shrimp with white wine.
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73. B-b-b-beaver boys.
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74. Let me blow something!
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75. Oh!
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76. Hot! Oh!
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77. I thought you were
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78. coming in on the 8, and you came
in on the 6!
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79. Hot!
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80. It was hot.
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81. Hot!
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82. One, two, three, go!
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83. Good evening, folks.
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84. I-I suppose that, uh
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85. I'm Mr. Sammy Davis Jr. that's all right.
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86. Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. Jack Nicholson.
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87. I'm quall.
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88. Good, uh, evening, ladies and
gentlemen.
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89. This is James quall.
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90. This is bill cosby.
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91. Spaghetti and meatballs.
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92. Where would I go?
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93. Aah! Aah! Get out of here!
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94. Oh.
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95. James.
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96. I don't think I have it anymore, David.
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97. I-I think I'm... you are the greatest since
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98. Richard little.
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99. I'm Jack Nicholson.
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100. My god, you're right.
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101. I've got it back.
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102. Ooh!
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103. Spaghetti and meatballs.
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104. I've been looking forward to this.
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105. Tired of all the e-mails.
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106. Good to see you face-to-face.
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107. Wanted to meet you face-to-face.
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108. What do you recommend here?
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109. Well, like I said, the scampi
is pretty good.
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110. Excuse me.
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111. The manager would like to know
if this is a business or
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112. pleasure lunch.
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113. It's business.
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114. Pleasure.
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115. It's pleasure.
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116. Well, business, also.
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117. I'll be right back.
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118. Thanks. Appreciate it.
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119. Well, the shrimp's pretty
famous here, but the service
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120. isn't that great.
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121. He's been here forever.
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122. Has he?
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123. Yeah.
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124. Has he?
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125. Uh, look, if you're
not settled in, we got a really,
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126. really nice condo out in the valley.
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127. Do you have enough room for my boys?
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128. Well, sure.
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129. How about a basketball court?
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130. You'd have to go to the
high school on the corner.
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131. Excuse me.
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132. I have to go number two.
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133. Okay. Mention my name, you'll
get a good seat, you know?
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134. Well, we're back, and we are
talking about the worst thing
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135. about cats, which is their hair.
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136. That cat hair gets into every
nook and cranny.
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137. Matt didn't get into my nook or
my cranny.
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138. He could have...
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139. If he wanted to.
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140. Oh, we're talking about cat hair.
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141. And I invested in one of these
little... Thingies.
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142. Ooh, you have hair all over you.
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143. Oof.
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144. Get it off.
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145. Get it off.
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146. Get it off.
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147. It's everywhere.
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148. Get it off.
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149. Get it off.
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150. It's all over me.
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151. Get it off.
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152. Get off.
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153. My sister says I'm filthy.
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154. Do you still have cat hair on.
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155. You?
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156. A little.
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157. Get him out of here!
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158. Oh.
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159. You... I got to tell this story.
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160. You are the first guy to turn me
on to online banking.
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161. He... I don't know which bank it
was at the time.
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162. It was probably bank comet or
bank something... not around
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163. anymore.
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164. He tells me... he calls me up,
and he goes, "how many times do"
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165. you go to the bank a week?"
And I say, "well, probably three
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166. "or four times a week," making deposits.
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167. How many miles are you
putting on your car?
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168. 10, 15 miles.
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169. How much money are you
spending on gas?
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170. $30, $40 a week on gas.
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171. Forget about it.
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172. And he goes, "I'm online
doing my banking."
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173. And I said, "what the he...
what do you mean, online?
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174. What, are you waiting on line
at the bank?"
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175. One, two, three, ho!
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