Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! 3x5

Directed by

John W. Allen as Dad in Divorce Sketch • Michael William Arnold as Son in Divorce Sketch • Christien Bastin as Lab Tech • Albert Delgado as Colombian Terrorist • Gloria A. Feralio as Mom in Divorce Sketch

When Tim and Eric run out of show ideas, Aboxa balloons drops by. Steve Brule has a report about the internet, where he then makes a video, and hopes it will go viral. C.O.R.B.S (Cops on Recumbent Bikes) attempt to stop a group of Colombian terrorists trying to take over a sugar factory, which ends in a terrible tragedy, and some sound effects. Grill Vogel teaches you how to hug appropriately in a workplace. We're also introduced to a family dealing with divorce, and the Cinco Eye Tanning System. (John C. Reilly and Ray Wise)

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. HI, AND WELCOME TO "TIM & ERIC AWESOME SHOW GREAT

2. JOB!" MY NAME'S

3. ERIC WAREHEIM.

4. AND I'M TIM HEIDECKER.

5. WE DON'T, UM... HAVE ANYTHING SPECIFIC PLANNED...

6. FOR TODAY'S SHOW.

7. THIS WEEK'S SHOW IS GONNA BE REALLY INTERESTING,

8. WITH — DON'T TELL WHAT'S GONNA

9. BE ON THE SHOW.

10. OH, MY GOD.

11. WHAT'S THIS?

12. WHAT IS THIS?

13. IT'S A BOX OF BALLOONS.

14. IT'S JUST BALLOONS.

15. IT'S BALLOONS.

16. IT'S A BOX OF BALLOONS.

17. THERE MUST 100 BALLOONS IN HERE.

18. I CAN'T — I CAN'T...

19. HEY, TIM, THIS WEEKEND,

20. I HAD SOME INDIAN FOOD.

21. AND THEN HAD MEXICAN FOOD.

22. WATCH THIS.

23. HEY, ERIC, HOW —

24. DOESN'T WORK.

25. CAN WE GET THE BALLOONS THAT DO THE HIGH VOICE?

26. THAT'S IT, VANESSA.

27. JUST USE YOUR ARMS, THE LOW CENTER OF GRAVITY.

28. THAT'S IT.

29. THAT'S GOOD, HON.

30. OKAY, NOW GO TO DONNEGAN.

31. GO FOR IT.

32. VERY GOOD.

33. EASY.

34. THAT'S IT. THAT'S IT.

35. OH, THERE SHE GOES.

36. DONNEGAN.

37. C.O.R.B.S., THIS IS THE COLONEL!

38. WE HAVE A 10-17 AT THE SUGAR FACTORY.

39. WE'RE JUST FINISHING UP OUR LESSON.

40. WE NEED YOU NOW! RIGHT NOW!

41. OKAY, WE'LL BE THERE IN 15 MINUTES.

42. MOVE!

43. ROGER.

44. WHAT'S THE 411, CHIEF?

45. WELL, LOOKS LIKE WE GOT ANOTHER 10-17.

46. WHAT'S THE BEEF?

47. WHO'S THE PERP?

48. EH, TYPICAL COLOMBIAN TERRORISTS ARE TAKING OVER THE

49. SUGAR FACTORY.

50. LET'S ROLL.

51. SURPRISE!

52. HI. I'M GRILL VOGEL, AND WELCOME TO MY VIDEOTAPED

53. BUSINESS HUGS.

54. YOU KNOW, ETIQUETTE IN THE WORKPLACE IS CHANGING AT AN

55. ALARMING RATE.

56. BUT DON'T WORRY.

57. I'M HERE TO MAKE SURE YOU KNOW THE CORRECT BUSINESS HUG FOR THE

58. RIGHT OCCASION.

59. LET'S BEGIN NOW.

60. NOW HERE'S A GREAT EXAMPLE OF A REALLY USEFUL HUG.

61. MARK HAS JUST HEARD THE NEWS THAT JOHN'S WIFE HAS MISCARRIED.

62. IT WAS THEIR THIRD MISCARRIAGE, AND JOHN IS NOT TAKING THE NEWS

63. VERY WELL.

64. I'M SORRY, JOHN.

65. NOW STOP THE TAPE.

66. STOP.

67. WHAT YOU HAVE HERE IS A BAD HUG.

68. IT'S INSENSITIVE AND INAPPROPRIATE FOR THE WORK

69. ENVIRONMENT.

70. LET'S TRY IT MY WAY.

71. NOW WATCH AS MARK LEANS IN, FINDS THE POWER CENTER ON THE

72. SMALL OF THE BACK, GIVES THREE TENDER CIRCLES WITH THE PALM OF

73. HIS HAND, AND FINISHES WITH A FRIENDLY SLAP ON THE CHEEK.

74. FOR MANY YEARS NOW, AND I THINK YOU DESERVE A RAISE, AND

75. I'M THROWING IN A BONUS.

76. THANK YOU.

77. NOW HERE WE SEE MARK AND JOHN TAKING A TRADITIONAL HUG AND

78. ADDING A MORE PERSONAL TOUCH.

79. WATCH HOW THE FOREHEADS GENTLY COLLIDE.

80. MORE IS SAID WITH THIS SIMPLE TOUCH THAN COULD BE SAID WITH

81. ALL THE WORDS IN THE DICTIONARY.

82. AHH! WELL, IT'S BEEN GREAT TANNING WITH YOU, KENT, BUT I

83. GOT TO HUSTLE.

84. I GOT TO PICK UP KAREN FOR DINNER.

85. LOOKING LIKE THAT?

86. WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

87. TAKE A LOOK.

88. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

89. DAMN IT!

90. RACCOON EYES AGAIN!

91. HEY.

92. WHAT'S YOUR SECRET?

93. I USE THE CINCO EYE TANNING SYSTEM.

94. FIRST, THEY PUT ON YOUR PROTECTIVE GOGGLES.

95. THEN, EVERY INCH OF YOUR BODY, EXCEPT THE EYE AREA, IS LUBED

96. AND COATED IN A TAN-RESISTANT GEL.

97. MAKE SURE YOU REQUEST A LICENSED LUBE MAN FOR YOUR BEST RESULTS.

98. NOW YOUR TEETH ARE REMOVED.

99. NO ONE LIKES BROWN TEETH.

100. AND IT'S A LOT EASIER THAN TRYING TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH CLOSED

101. IN THAT TANNING MACHINE.

102. NOW THEY REMOVE YOUR GOGGLES AND PLACE YOU IN THE TANNING

103. CHAMBER.

104. HOLD ON TIGHT.

105. THIS IS GOING TO BE THE RIDE OF YOUR LIFE.

106. THE CINCO EYE TANNING SYSTEM COATS YOUR ENTIRE EYE AREA WITH

107. THE PERFECT COAT OF TANNING.

108. BUT WHAT ABOUT YOUR TEETH?

109. I MEAN, YOU GOT A NICE SET OF PEARLS IN THAT MOUTH.

110. THESE ARE DENTURES.

111. IT DIDN'T HURT A BIT WHEN THEY PULLED THEM OUT.

112. I'M A BOAT MAN AND A TAN MAN.

113. FULLY TANNED.

114. ME, ME! I'M A TAN MAN.

115. WELL, I AM, TOO, EXCEPT FOR MY EYES.

116. TRY THE SYSTEM.

117. YOU'LL LIKE IT.

118. THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE PLAN FOR ME.

119. ARE YOU GETTING THIS?

120. WHO'S ROLLING?

121. AAH!

122. AAH!

123. Dr. HEY, I'M DR. STEVE BRULE.

124. YOU EVER WONDER ABOUT WHAT THE HECK ALL THESE KIDS ARE DOING ON

125. COMPUTERS ALL THE TIME?

126. LIKE MY NEPHEW, JOSH.

127. I SAID, "HEY, JOSHY, WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING ON THE

128. COMPUTER ALL THE TIME?" AND HE SAID, "MAKING VIDEOS BY

129. MYSELF.

130. AND I'M GETTING LOTS OF HITS."

131. THAT'S WHAT THEY CALL IT WHEN LOTS OF PEOPLE GO ON THEIR

132. COMPUTERS TO LOOK AT YOUR COMPUTER.

133. MADE MY

134. TECHNOLOGY STUFF!

135. ROLL — ♪ HIGH VOLTAGE

136. THAT'S IT.

137. WELL? TOLD YOU IT WAS GOOD.

138. YOU DIDN'T BELIEVE ME, BUT NOW YOU KNOW.

139. SO GO MAKE SOME COMPUTER TECHNOLOGIES OF YOUR OWN.

140. GET OUT OF THE HOUSE AND GO DO IT!

141. FOR YOUR TECHNOLOGY.

142. YOUR MOTHER AND I HAVE SOMETHING WE NEED TO DISCUSS WITH YOU.

143. IT HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH EITHER OF YOU.

144. WELL...

145. HERE GOES.

146. YOUR MOTHER AND I ARE GETTING A DIVORCE.

147. Shh, Shh.

148. YOUR MOTHER HAS MET SOMEONE YOUNGER AND MORE HANDSOME THAN

149. YOUR DAD.

150. HE'S THE MAN THAT BURGLARIZED

151. OUR HOUSE LAST WEEK.

152. IT'S GONNA BE OKAY.

153. YOUR MOMMY'S IN LOVE WITH A BURGLAR.

154. I WOULDN'T CALL HIM A BURGLAR.

155. SHE LET HIM IN THE HOUSE.

156. HE'S A WEIRD MAN, BUT HE'S TALLER THAN YOUR DAD.

157. OH, REALLY?

158. AM I GONNA HAVE TO CALL THAT BURGLAR "PAPPY"?

159. YOUR PAPPY'S GONNA LIVE IN THE STREET FOR A WHILE.

160. WHERE ARE WE GOING TO

161. LIVE?

162. I DON'T KNOW.

163. I'M WORKING ON THAT.

164. GET OUT OF HERE!

165. WHAT'S THE MATTER, JOHN?

166. I'VE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER.

167. THIS WEEKEND, MY SON HAD HIS FIRST HOLY COMMUNION.

168. STOP THE TAPE.

169. MARK SHOWS RESPECT BY BOWING.

170. NOW, IT'S A GREAT WAY TO START A HUG, BUT HERE'S WHERE MARK AND

171. JOHN GO WRONG.

172. THEY TIPTOE BACK FROM EACH OTHER INSTEAD OF CREATING A

173. POWER EMBRACE.

174. NOW HERE'S WHAT I WOULD HAVE LIKED TO HAVE SEEN.

175. MARK PLACES HIS PALM ON JOHN'S FACE AND THEN GOES IN FOR THE

176. HUG.

177. AS A SIGN OF RESPECT, JOHN MOVES MARK'S SMALL FINGER OUT OF HIS

178. EYELINE.

179. AHH.

180. THAT WAS A GREAT HUG.

181. OH. THE GREATEST HUG.

182. THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE, C.O.R.B.S.

183. WHAT'S THE SITUATION?

184. WE GOT THREE COLOMBIAN TERRORISTS INSIDE THE WAREHOUSE,

185. AND WE CAN'T GET THROUGH THAT GATE.

186. SOUNDS LIKE ANOTHER WALK IN THE PARK.

187. ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER DOLLAR, DONNEGAN.

188. LET'S PEDAL.

189. AAH!

190. JUST LIKE A GAME OF LIMBO, HUH, DONNEGAN?

191. IF WE WERE A FEW INCHES TALLER, WE'D BE IN REAL TROUBLE.

192. OH, OH!

193. N-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O!

194. AAH!

195. AAH!