Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! 3x3

Directed by

Zach Galifianakis as Tairy Greene • Patton Oswalt as Joshua Beard • Bob Odenkirk as Relationship Expert • Ed Begley Jr. as Self • David Cure as Seminar Student

Those Darn Rascals. Bob Odenkirk tries to fix Tim and Eric's friendship when Tim kills Eric's rascal. Cinco introduces the Cinco-Fone. Tairy Greene teaches a child acting class.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. >> ♪ OH, IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME ♪ SINCE I HAD MY FAVORITE

2. DRINK ♪ ♪ AND I LICK MY LIPS

3. >> ♪ TIM AND ERIC ♪ AWESOME SHOW

4. I'M TIM HEIDECKER, AND WELCOME

5. TO OUR SHOW.

6. >> Eric: I'M ERIC WAREHEIM.

7. >> Tim: WELCOME TO OUR SHOW.

8. >> Eric:

9. >> GUYS? GUYS, WHAT'S GOING ON?

10. YOU GOT A SHOW TO DO.

11. >> Eric: HE MURDERED MY RASCAL.

12. >> Tim: NO, I DIDN'T.

13. >> Eric: YOU KILLED MY RASCAL.

14. >> Tim: NO, I DIDN'T!

15. >> WELL, WAIT, SOMEBODY SPEAK FIRST.

16. TIM.

17. >> Tim: I WENT OVER TO HIS HOUSE LAST WEEKEND TO PLAY.

18. >> OKAY.

19. >> Tim: AND THEN RASCAL BIT ME RIGHT ON THE LEG, RIGHT IN THE

20. ANKLE HERE.

21. LOOK.

22. LOOK.

23. >> Eric: THAT'S JUST YOUR SOCK.

24. >> Tim: NO, IT'S NOT MY SOCK, ERIC.

25. IT'S FROM THE BITE.

26. >> Eric: HE MURDERED MY RASCAL, BOB.

27. >> WAIT.

28. >> Tim: I WENT OVER TO HIS HOUSE —

29. >> Eric: WE WERE BEST FRIENDS.

30. >> Tim: I WENT OVER TO HIS HOUSE, AND I PUT HIS RASCAL TO

31. SLEEP.

32. I PUT IT TO SLEEP!

33. I PUT IT TO SLEEP THAT'S WHAT WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE

34. HAPPENED.

35. I PUT HIM TO SLEEP.

36. >> UH, ENOUGH! STOP!

37. I GOT TO FIX THIS FRIENDSHIP.

38. >> Both: LET'S DANCE TO JAZZ.

39. SWING DANCING!

40. >> HI, I'M ED BEGLEY JR. I WANT TO INTRODUCE YOU TO A

41. REVOLUTIONARY NEW DEVICE — THE NEW CINCO-FONE FROM

42. CINCO-MOBILE.

43. THE GREAT THING ABOUT THE CINCO

44. ONE ONLY.

45. LET'S SAY I WANT TO CALL MY MOM.

46. PRESS IT ON, OPEN BOTH THE ANTENNAS FOR BETTER RECEPTION.

47. AND THE NUMBER — 5-5-5...

48. FIVE.

49. FIVE.

50. 0...

51. 1...

52. THEN 9...

53. AND THEN 9...

54. AND THEN...

55. [ HUFFING, POPPING ] AND THE BEST FEATURE OF THE

56. CINCO-FONE — YOU CANNOT RECEIVE CALLS WITH IT.

57. YOU CAN ONLY MAKE CALLS.

58. YOU'LL NEVER BE BOTHERED AGAIN AT WORK, IN YOUR LEISURE TIME

59. OUT IN THE GOLF COURSE, OR AT THE BEACH.

60. >> Tim: YOU.

61. >> Eric: HOW ARE YOU?

62. >> Tim: HOW ARE YOU?

63. "YOU SMELL LIKE BAD BEEF.

64. (FARTS)" IF YOU JUST FILL IN THE L's

65. THERE FOR ME.

66. >> Eric: CAN DO.

67. "GO TO HELL."

68. >> Tim: ARE WE CLEAR?

69. >> TIM, ERIC.

70. >> Tim: HEY, BOB.

71. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

72. >> ERIC.

73. >> Eric: GOOD TO SEE YOU, BOB.

74. >> GOOD TO SEE YOU.

75. WHAT ARE OUR CHANCES TODAY OF

76. COMING TO AN AGREEMENT?

77. 1 TO 10 — WHAT ARE OUR CHANCES?

78. >> Tim: UH, FIVE.

79. >> ONE BEING "DEFINITELY, WE'LL COME TO AN AGREEMENT, NOT THE

80. OTHER WAY AROUND."

81. >> Tim: STILL — WELL, STILL FIVE.

82. >> PHEW.

83. THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG ONE.

84. TIM.

85. >> Tim: YEAH?

86. >> YOU ADMIT THAT YOU KILLED ERIC'S BEST FRIEND.

87. JUST SAY THE WORDS.

88. >> Tim: I KILLED ERIC'S BEST FRIEND.

89. >> OKAY, SO, THEN, ERIC, YOU HAVE TO KILL TIM'S BEST FRIEND.

90. >> Eric: ALL RIGHT.

91. >> Tim: NO, I'M SORRY, BOB.

92. THAT'S NOT GONNA WORK.

93. UH, ERIC'S — WELL, ERIC'S MY — MY BEST FRIEND, SO, UH...

94. >> ALL RIGHT.

95. >> Eric: NO, GUYS, NO.

96. I'M OKAY WITH THAT.

97. I'M GONNA KILL MYSELF.

98. I'M GONNA DO IT FOR MY RASCAL.

99. >> Tim: UH, UM...

100. >> HEAVY AS HELL, BUT THAT'S A GOOD THING.

101. BOUNCE OUT OF YOUR POCKET.

102. COME ON, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

103. GET THIS WEDGED IN THERE.

104. THE CINCO-FONE IS SUCH A POWERFUL PHONE, IT HAS A

105. TENDENCY TO GET WARM.

106. BUT THAT'S NEVER A PROBLEM 'CAUSE EACH CINCO-FONE COMES

107. WITH A TUBE OF COOLING GEL.

108. MMM.

109. BOY, THAT SOOTHES.

110. [ SQUIRT! ] MM-HMM.

111. THAT SOOTHES REAL GOOD.

112. YOU KNOW, YOU COULD PROBABLY DO GOOD WITH JUST THE GEL AND NOT

113. THE PHONE, GUYS.

114. THIS IS SOME... KICK-ASS GEL.

115. THE BATTERY LASTS UP TO ONE FULL — AN ENTIRE PHONE CALL.

116. CINCO-FONE FROM CINCO-MOBILE.

117. IT'S A GREAT PHONE.

118. >> Eric: THE TINY DANCER.

119. SWING DANCING.

120. >> YOU'RE NOT A PERSON UNLESS YOU'RE ACTING.

121. UNDER THE TUTELAGE OF RANDY TUTELAGE.

122. WHO...

123. BAH-STANK.

124. CHILDHOOD IS A JOKE!

125. WRITE THAT DOWN.

126. WRITE THAT DOWN, TOO.

127. WHAT'S THE INSTRUMENT ON AN ACTOR'S BODY OR SOUL THAT HELPS

128. THEM THE MOST?

129. >> YOUR HEART?

130. >> WRONG!

131. ISAAC.

132. >> HIPBONES?

133. JAWBONES?

134. >> DO YOU THINK I'M AN IDIOT?

135. IT'S YOUR NOSE!

136. WHY IS IT YOUR NOSE?

137. IT'S BECAUSE YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR VOICE.

138. YOU CAN BECOME DIFFERENT CHARACTERS.

139. FOR INSTANCE, WHAT DO I DO WHEN I PRESS MY NOSE?

140. 'ELLO, GOV!

141. 'ELLO, GOVERNOR!

142. 'ELLO, GOVERNOR!

143. >> All: 'ELLO, GOVERNOR!

144. >> YE-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-S!

145. UH, DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHERE I CAN GET ME

146. SOME ICED TEA?

147. SEE WHAT I DID THERE?

148. I MODIFIED HOW I WAS HOLDING MY NOSE.

149. AND IT CHANGED MY VOICE AGAIN.

150. DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHERE I CAN GET SOME ICED

151. TEA?

152. I GOT CAUGHT SHOPLIFTING AT THE CHEVY DEALERSHIP.

153. WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED TODAY?

154. YES, SIR, YOU IN THE BACK.

155. >> THAT YOU CAN BE ANYBODY YOU WANT IF YOU HOLD YOUR NOSE.

156. >> I NEVER SAID THAT.

157. I'LL NEVER SAY THAT.

158. DON'T YOU EVER — DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT AGAIN TO ME.

159. >> I'M GONNA TAKE A TUBE OF THIS WITH ME IF I COULD.

160. YEAH, I'M ALMOST DONE HERE.

161. NO, THEY HAVEN'T PAID ME YET.

162. CALL — WELL, CALL ME IN 10 MINUTES.

163. OH, WAIT, NO, YOU KNOW WHAT?

164. I DON'T THINK YOU CAN RECEIVE CALLS ON THIS.

165. WELL, I'LL CALL YOU BACK.

166. NO, YOU KNOW WHAT?

167. I CAN'T CALL YOU BACK IN 10 MINUTES.

168. NO, IT'S, LIKE, A ONE-CALL BATTERY.

169. AND IT — I THINK THEY — I DIDN'T SEE A

170. SECOND BATTERY, AND IT TAKES, LIKE, TWO HOURS TO CHARGE IT.

171. WELL, THEN DRIVE OVER HERE IF IT'S QUICKER.

172. 'CAUSE I CAN'T WAIT HERE TWO HOURS.

173. I CAN'T.

174. NO, I'M NOT GONNA WAIT HERE TWO

175. CHARGE.

176. YEAH, CALL ME BACK.

177. NO, WAIT, NO, YOU CAN'T CALL...

178. >> Eric: GOODBYE, MY FRIEND.

179. I'LL SEE YOU SOON.

180. >> Tim: ERIC!

181. STOP! WAIT! DON'T JUMP.

182. >> Eric: GO BACK.

183. I'M GONNA DIE.

184. >> Tim: NO, YOU GOT IT ALL WRONG.

185. RASCAL'S STILL ALIVE.

186. I DIDN'T KILL HIM.

187. >> Eric: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

188. >> Tim: LISTEN, I GOT A BIG SURPRISE FOR YOU, OKAY?

189. JUST DON'T JUMP.

190. COME HERE, RASCAL.

191. COME HERE.

192. >> >> ERIC, LOOK, IT'S...

193. COME HERE.

194. SEE? LOOK.

195. >> Eric: THAT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE MY RASCAL.

196. OF COURSE IT DOESN'T.

197. HE'S BETTER.

198. WHATEVER SHOT I GAVE HIM MADE HIM LONGER AND TALLER AND

199. SILLIER.

200. >> Eric: I DON'T KNOW.

201. >> ERIC, I LOVE YOU.

202. >> Eric: COME HERE, RASCAL.

203. >> IS IT WORKING?

204. >> Tim: IT'S WORKING GREAT.

205. I THINK YOU CAN SEE THE ZIPPER A LITTLE BIT, THOUGH.

206. >> OKAY.

207. >> Eric: OH!

208. >> OOH, OOH, OOH!

209. TIM, IT'S REALLY WORKING.

210. >> Eric: YOU'RE MAKING A MOTORBOAT, AREN'T YOU, MY BOY?

211. OH, GOOD BOY.

212. THERE YOU ARE.

213. AAH!

214. HE BIT ME!

215. NO, NO, NO, NO!

216. BAD BOY, BAD, BAD BOY!

217. NO, NO, NO, NO!

218. NO, NO, NO, NO!

219. BAD BOY!

220. >> Tim: UM, ERIC, UM...

221. UH, THAT WAS BOB.

222. >> Eric: YEAH, I KNOW, TIM.

223. >> Tim: OH, OKAY.

224. ARE — ARE YOU STILL GONNA JUMP?

225. >> Eric: YEAH.

226. WILL YOU JOIN ME?

227. >> Tim: YEAH.