Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! 1x9

Directed by

Gregg Turkington as Neil Hamburger • Bob Odenkirk as Various • Sam Ingraffia as Angry Driver • Nick Cron-DeVico as Guy on Phone • Roger Hampton as Angry Driver • 'Weird Al' Yankovic as Uncle Muscles

Tim and Eric are late in delivering the episode and rely on Hamburger Taxi to get there on time.

Request examples:

!req Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! 1x9 [02:32]
!req Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! 1x9 [Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! 1x9]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! 1x9 [10-11]; !req Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! 1x9 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. ERIC, WHAT'S OUR E.T.A.

2. HERE?

3. IT'S AT 8.5 WITH "H" ON 3.

4. 3, 2, 1.

5. GOT IT.

6. PROGRAM CLOCK'S NOT RIGHT.

7. COME ON, COME ON.

8. ERIC, WE ARE NOT DOING GOOD ON TIME HERE.

9. WE'VE GOT 10 MINUTES, ERIC.

10. HOW ARE WE GETTING OVER TO THE STUDIO?

11. MY SYNC IS TOTALLY OFF.

12. COME ON, PRINCESS.

13. YOU KNOW HOW I LIKE IT.

14. COME ON!

15. REBOOT THE SYSTEM.

16. 6 DP.

17. SCENE 12 — LOADING — IN 4, 3, 2, 1.

18. GOT IT.

19. WE'RE GOOD.

20. MATT, IT'S TIM HEIDECKER.

21. YEAH, WE'RE READY TO DELIVER THE EPISODE.

22. YEAH, HELLO, I'D LIKE THE MOST

23. REASONABLE CAB YOU HAVE IN TOWN.

24. HEY, WE DID IT.

25. ♪ WE DID IT ♪ WE DID IT

26. ♪ TIM AND ERIC

27. What are we supposed to do?

28. I don't know.

29. Put it in anyway.

30. AND NOW THE ONLY MARRIED NEWS TEAM IN THE TRI-COUNTY AREA —

31. JAN AND WAYNE SKYLAR...

32. WITH SPECIAL NEWS CORRESPONDENT DR. STEVE BRULE.

33. DOES THIS HURT?

34. NO.

35. WHAT ABOUT THIS?

36. NO, THAT'S FINE.

37. IT DOESN'T HURT.

38. HOW 'BOUT THIS?

39. AAH! AAH! AAH!

40. I KNEW THAT WAS YOUR PROBLEM.

41. WELL, I TOLD YOU NOT TO PUT SO MUCH GARLIC IN MY

42. SPAGHETTI HOUSE.

43. SPEAKING OF STOMACH PROBLEMS, WE HAVE A VERY SPECIAL

44. REPORT FROM OUR OWN DR. STEVE BRULE.

45. ST-A-A-A-A-A-AY!

46. Dr. DIGESTION PROBLEMS.

47. IT DOESN'T JUST AFFECT AVERAGE JOES.

48. IT AFFECT DOCTORS, TOO...

49. EVEN DR. STEVE BRULE.

50. YOU'LL NOTICE WHEREVER THERE'S A RED SQUARE IS A DAY WHEN I'VE

51. HAD DIARRHEA AT SOME POINT IN THE DAY.

52. SO I BEGAN TO EAT CHEDDAR CHEESE AND EGG SANDWICHES.

53. OF COURSE I HAD NO MOVEMENTS AT ALL FOR THURSDAY OR FRIDAY,

54. WHICH WAS DISTRESSING IN ITS OWN WAY.

55. AND THAT'S PRETTY MUCH IT, JAN.

56. WAYNE?

57. WELL, STEVE, I'VE GOT A QUESTION.

58. UM, DO SCIENTISTS KNOW WHY WE GET DIARRHEA?

59. Dr. AS A DOCTOR, I SHOULD BE ABLE TO TELL YOU WHAT

60. CAUSES DIARRHEA.

61. HOWEVER, VIEWER, IT IS ONE OF THE GREATEST MYSTERIES IN THE

62. SCIENTIFIC WORLD.

63. DR. STEVE, IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO AS A MAN TO

64. PREVENT THIS DIARRHEA?

65. Dr. THAT IS A GOOD QUESTION.

66. IF YOU EAT A TRACER FOOD SUCH AS CORN OR ANOTHER VEGETABLE OF

67. THAT KIND — BEETS — YOU CAN TELL THE PROGRESS OF WHAT'S

68. GOING THROUGH YOUR GUTTYWORKS.

69. HON, WHAT'S THE YELLOW SQUARE FOR, THEN, ON THE

70. CALENDAR?

71. HMM?

72. Dr. THAT — THAT WAS MY BIRTHDAY.

73. I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY!

74. YOU SHOULD'VE SAID SOMETHING!

75. OH, STEVE.

76. WONDERFUL.

77. Dr. I KNOW.

78. ♪ RIP TITALIT DIT DIP ♪ IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY

79. ♪ RIP TITALIT DIT DIP ♪ IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY

80. SO, YOU ARE GUYS ARE IN SHOW BUSINESS, ARE YOU?

81. UH — WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU

82. CROSS SIR ELTON JOHN WITH A SABER-TOOTHED TIGER?

83. I DON'T KNOW, BUT YOU BETTER KEEP IT AWAY FROM YOUR ASS.

84. YOU TOLD HIM WHERE IT IS, RIGHT?

85. SIR, IF YOU CAN JUST GO THE RIGHT WAY — WE NEED TO BE

86. THERE LIKE FIVE MINUTES AGO.

87. WHAT'S THE HURRY, HUH?

88. WE NEED TO DELIVER THIS TAPE.

89. YOU.

90. I WILL THINK OF YOU AS I THROW UP INTO THE TOILET.

91. YOU RAPISTS.

92. WHAT DID HE JUST SAY?

93. I DON'T APPRECIATE BEING CALLED A RAPIST.

94. WELL, THEN DON'T RAPE.

95. TONIGHT, FOLLOWING THE

96. "TUMBLEWEED EXPRESS," IT'S THE "UNCLE MUSCLE'S HOUR —

97. GRAND-CHAMPIONSHIP FINALE"...

98. FEATURING CASEY AND HIS BROTHER...

99. DENNIS HARRITY...

100. RHYMES, THE RAPPING DOG...

101. AND MICHAEL SCHMIDT.

102. TONIGHT'S WINNER WILL RECEIVE A THREE-NIGHT STAY AT WILLOW'S

103. FISHING RESORT, AS WELL AS A $200 CASH PRIZE.

104. TONIGHT'S ON FIVE'R.

105. THIS IS BEN.

106. HEY, BEN, HOW'S IT GOIN'?

107. GOOD.

108. I AM BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE.

109. OKAY.

110. MY UKE FELL OFF MY SHELF AND HIT MY LAPTOP, AND NOW I

111. CAN'T GET ONTO THE INTERNET.

112. OKAY.

113. MY DAUGHTER WAS PLAYING WITH A RED BALL, AND IT TUMBLED

114. DOWN.

115. AND NOW I CAN'T CHECK MY SITES.

116. SO I'M WONDERING IF THAT'S GOT SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE UKE

117. HITTING IT.

118. UM, YOUR COMPUTER?

119. THE UKE COMES OFF THE SHELF, NAILS THE LAPTOP, AND NOW

120. I CAN'T GET ON MY SITES.

121. NOW IT'S YOUR PROBLEM.

122. WHY IS THAT MY PROBLEM?

123. EVERY TIME IT FALLS ON MY LAPTOP, SHE SHUTS DOWN.

124. A UKULELE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH A COMPUTER.

125. DAD, CAN WE CHECK SITES?

126. "NO."

127. WELL, A UKULELE HITTING YOUR COMPUTER STILL HAS NOTHING TO DO

128. WITH THE COMPUTER.

129. I SHOULD STILL BE ONLINE.

130. LET ME CHECK — NOPE.

131. STILL OFFLINE.

132. "NO SITES AVAILABLE."

133. YOUR OWN STUPIDITY CAUSED THIS ACCIDENT, YOU ASSHOLE.

134. WE'RE NOT GONNA MAKE IT, MAN.

135. I DON'T —

136. I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S HELPING.

137. COME ON!

138. WELL, LOOK, ASSHOLE, WHERE

139. DID YOU THINK I WAS GOING?

140. I HAVE NO IDEA.

141. WHAT WERE YOU LOOKING AT?

142. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF A TURN SIGNAL?

143. I TELL YOU WHAT.

144. YOU WANT TO SETTLE THIS LIKE MEN?

145. OH, I WOULD LOVE TO.

146. WHEW!

147. I LOVE YOU.

148. DON'T WORRY.

149. ALL RIGHT! YEAH!

150. YOU IDIOT!

151. MICHAEL...

152. MICHAEL?

153. MICHAEL.

154. WHAT IS IT?

155. I SAID, DID YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO FOR THE

156. UNCLE MUSCLE'S GRAND CHAMPIONSHIP?

157. I HAVE AN IDEA.

158. AAAAAH!

159. IT'S "BRULE'S RULES," WITH CHANNEL 5's DR. STEVE BRULE.

160. Dr. HEY, I'M I'M DR. STEVE BRULE WITH SOME OF

161. THE BRULE'S RULES.

162. DOES YOUR MILK TASTE SOUR WHEN YOU TAKE A SIP OF IT?

163. JUST CHECK THE EXPIRATION DATE, DUMMY.

164. JUST CHECK THE EXPIRATION DATE, DUMMY.

165. THERE IT IS. THERE IT IS.

166. RIGHT UP HERE, SIR.

167. THERE IT IS.

168. WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT.

169. ♪ WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT ♪ WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT

170. ♪ WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT ♪ WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT

171. IT ♪ ♪ WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT

172. WAIT, TIM, DID YOU

173. REWIND THE TAPE?

174. UM...

175. OOH, I DON'T KNOW.

176. OH.

177. I DON'T THINK SO, MAN.

178. DAMN IT.

179. ♪ DON'T TALK TO ME

180. THAT WAS CASEY AND HIS

181. BROTHER.

182. FLAWLESS.

183. AND NOW...

184. THE FINAL CONTESTANT OF THE UNCLE MUSCLE'S GRAND

185. CHAMPIONSHIP.

186. HI.

187. I'M MICHAEL Q. SCHMIDT, AND I'D LIKE TO PERFORM FOR YOU A NEW

188. DANCE I INVENTED CALLED "RAISE MY ROOF."

189. [ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ] ♪ RAISE MY ROOF

190. YEP.