1. Lord Almighty
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2. now that You have our beloved
Dussolier in Your arms
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3. I pray to You
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4. remind him of that afternoon
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5. when we ran away together
from the orphanage.
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6. Remind him of the fear and freedom
we felt on that rainy afternoon.
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7. And reassure him,
there's nothing wrong
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8. freedom and fear
are always together
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9. like an old married couple,
each willing to die for the other.
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10. Remind him of Sister Mary
at age twenty
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11. her hair flowing and blonde
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12. and drenched in sunlight
as she ran and sank baskets.
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13. Remind him of that indelible,
archaic picture of beauty
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14. that so stirred us
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15. in silence.
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16. Now I know very well
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17. that neither he nor I
will ever forget that picture.
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18. Remind him, Lord Almighty of all our
endless late-night conversations
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19. in that big one-room dormitory
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20. under the blankets
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21. how we whispered in secret
about our one and only
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22. inexhaustible topic of discussion:
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23. our future.
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24. We were children then,
and that's what children do:
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25. they paint the future in colors
that reality can never know.
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26. Remind him not to grieve
over all our shattered dreams.
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27. We wanted to live the lives
of the great baseball player
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28. the elderly gas station attendant
on the county road
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29. the heroic soldier
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30. the lowlife New York musician
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31. the fireman, the blue-water sailor.
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32. Remind him not to weep
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33. when he remembers that instead
we lived only the simple
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34. drab life of the priest
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35. such a strange life
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36. a life of hope and prayer that You
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37. Lord Almighty
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38. really do exist
and might think about us.
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39. Amen.
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40. Sancta Maria, Mater Dei.
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41. Where do they go,
the airplanes we never take?
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42. I always wonder the same thing,
every time I see one.
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43. I always think that they go
to places I've never been.
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44. They go somewhere else.
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45. Tell me about the Blessed Juana.
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46. She is revered in Guatemala
and across all of Central America.
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47. She died at the age
of eighteen
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48. of leukemia and on her deathbed,
she said:
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49. "All the world will be infatuated
with me because...
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50. all my life I have been infatuated
with the world."
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51. What did the Blessed Juana do
to deserve canonization?
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52. Well, she cared for sick children
in the hospitals and
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53. in order to alleviate
their suffering
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54. she would tell them fairy tales
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55. that she thought up herself,
very amusing ones, apparently
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56. and always with the same
protagonist, the Madonna.
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57. I like this, go on.
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58. But these fairy tales gave more
than a smile to the sick children.
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59. Many of these children
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60. just a few days after listening
to Juana's fairy tales
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61. recovered from terminal illness.
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62. And they recovered with a smile
on their face.
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63. All of the cured children
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64. when they were asked whether
they had any idea
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65. why they felt better and were healed,
gave the same answer:
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66. "The Madonna made us laugh".
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67. That's a wonderful story,
Your Eminence.
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68. Yes, Holy Father,
it's a wonderful story.
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69. Beautiful...
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70. if only it were true.
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71. But Holy Father, it is true.
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72. All right, let me think about it.
I'll let you know my answer soon.
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73. Tell me about your calling.
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74. Holy Father,
the announcement of your orders
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75. making abortion unforgivable
has unleashed the Femen
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76. and they're protesting everywhere.
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77. Underneath the Eiffel Tower,
in the European parliament
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78. even in St. Peter's Square.
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79. I don't want to talk
about people who strip naked
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80. in order to protest
against something.
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81. The death of Andrew...
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82. you weren't to blame.
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83. Oh, yes I was.
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84. Valente.
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85. Holy Father.
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86. I am so tired.
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87. Here I am, Holy Father.
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88. Make yourself comfortable.
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89. Did you have a good trip?
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90. Oh, I just love helicopters.
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91. They make me feel like
I'm having an adventure.
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92. Young people like you
love adventures.
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93. Holy Father, may I remind you
that we're the same age?
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94. We used to be the same age.
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95. I was so surprised and happy
to hear that you wanted to see me.
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96. I too was surprised to learn
that I needed to see you.
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97. Oh, not wanted, but needed.
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98. Weigh your words carefully,
Holy Father.
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99. I'm really tired
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100. you know that?
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101. If you will allow me, Holy Father,
you're not tired.
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102. You're grieving
and struggling with guilt
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103. over the death of your closest
friend, Cardinal Dussolier.
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104. What did you want to talk to me
about, Holy Father?
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105. What are we doing wrong?
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106. Oh, it's very simple.
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107. We've failed to follow the eternal,
unchanging principle
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108. of the carrot and the stick.
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109. The carrot and the stick.
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110. We brought the stick
but forgot the carrot.
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111. What do you mean by carrot?
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112. An opening.
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113. What do you mean by an opening?
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114. A speech about love
and a pastoral voyage.
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115. I don't like to travel
and you know perfectly well
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116. that I don't like to be seen.
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117. I never said that you have
to let yourself be seen.
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118. As for traveling:
everyone dislikes traveling
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119. until they actually go on a trip.
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120. Then they like it, don't they?
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121. Where are you thinking
of dragging me?
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122. To Africa.
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123. To celebrate the thirtieth
anniversary of the foundation
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124. of Sister Antonia's
first village of goodness.
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125. The first of the 250 villages
of goodness.
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126. The largest multinational
of charity.
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127. Sister Antonia calls my office
an average of fourteen times a day
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128. to repeat her invitation.
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129. She'd gladly saw off one of her arms
to get you to come, Holy Father.
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130. Well, you just tell her
to get to sawing
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131. and then I'll be around
sooner or later.
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132. So what do you say?
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133. I'm not particularly fond
of Sister Antonia
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134. and what's more,
several cardinals have told me
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135. she has a close and friendly
relationship with halitosis.
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136. No.
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137. This doesn't strike me
as the right idea
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138. to settle the problems we have.
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139. As you wish, Holy Father.
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140. What I really wish
is to go back to Rome.
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141. I'm not a man
who's comfortable on vacation.
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142. All intelligent men
are uncomfortable on vacation.
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143. By the way, something that
may possibly cheer you up:
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144. Elmore Coen, your favorite author,
is on vacation in Rome.
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145. He stated in an interview with the
press that he'd like to meet you.
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146. Might that be of interest to you?
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147. I've always wanted to meet
Elmore Coen.
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148. What became...
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149. of the roller-skating children?
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150. I've loved all your books,
Mr. Coen.
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151. It's an immense honor for me
to meet you.
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152. Let's not get ahead of ourselves,
Your Holiness.
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153. After all, you're the Pope.
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154. I had heard that you wanted
to meet me too.
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155. How could I not?
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156. You are the most mysterious man
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157. of these first few decades
of the century.
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158. What writer wouldn't want
to meet you?
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159. You writers are all
so obsessed with mystery.
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160. You men of the cloth
don't kid around, either.
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161. Writers and men of the cloth
are the same that way.
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162. They can't afford
to solve the mystery
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163. because the next day
they'd become irrelevant.
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164. Writing is the one way I've found
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165. of concealing
my boundless ignorance.
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166. It's a fraud, really
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167. the way of gaining acceptance
from the world
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168. and especially from women
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169. who are my one and only
real interest.
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170. Oh, forgive me
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171. I've been inappropriate.
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172. Not at all.
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173. Laymen always think we priests
are scandalized
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174. by even the slightest things
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175. whereas the truth
is the exact opposite.
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176. We are never scandalized
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177. no profession has to deal with sin
on such a continual basis as ours.
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178. The confessional
is our operating room.
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179. Just as surgeons have
no fear of blood
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180. so we priests are no longer
are afraid of scandal and sin.
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181. So how do you survive
without women?
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182. An easy answer.
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183. The foolish ones
go with women on the sly.
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184. The wise ones long ago understood
the degree to which sex
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185. as a source of pleasure,
is overvalued in our society.
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186. Your Holiness, with a few words
you have just razed to the ground
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187. three quarters
of my literary production.
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188. I've almost always
written about sex
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189. as the motor that drives the world.
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190. And you were right. But you don't
write about motors that purr
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191. you write about motors
that break down continuously.
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192. And they should have given you
a Nobel Prize for it, 20 years ago.
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193. Ah, it's true.
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194. Unfortunately, they've gotten
into the habit
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195. of giving it only
to those who don't want it.
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196. Have you ever had a girlfriend,
Your Holiness?
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197. Certainly.
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198. I've only have had one
and I remember everything about her.
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199. Whereas you, Mr. Coen,
have probably had thousands
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200. and don't remember
a thing about them.
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201. I only remember certain perverse
and lustful details.
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202. If you remember those
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203. that's probably because we're
continuing lecturing you
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204. about how wrong it is
to remember them.
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205. How do you feel?
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206. Sick.
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207. They've found something wrong
with me
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208. only they're not sure what it is.
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209. Perhaps God has entered you.
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210. The more than likely
it's the devil.
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211. Are you going to resign?
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212. No, I'm not going to resign.
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213. That only makes me feel worse.
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214. You're never going to be Pope,
Michael.
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215. Get used to it.
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216. I'm the Pope and I'm going to
remain Pope until the day I die.
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217. Because I'm curious to see
how it all turns out.
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218. You don't believe in God.
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219. What did you say?
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220. I said you
don't believe in God.
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221. I was fifty years old
myself once, you know?
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222. I had my own crisis of faith.
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223. Like all priests.
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224. The second calling is
more challenging
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225. and more fraught than the first.
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226. You no longer have to deal
with the enthusiasm of youth
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227. now you must grapple
with disenchantment
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228. and the limitations
of the rational.
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229. You don't believe in God
but that shouldn't upset you.
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230. Even though you are Pope.
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231. There's still another path
that will allow you
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232. to find the people and things
you are looking for
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233. even if you can't see it now...
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234. because all you can see
before you now
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235. are your own doubts
and the darkness.
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236. Please, show me this other path.
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237. I beg you.
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238. If I show it to you,
then the adventure is over.
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239. Don't you see, Lenny?
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240. Your life, your Papacy
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241. is an unforgettable adventure?
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242. You truly are my spiritual father
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243. the best a priest
could hope to have.
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244. Michael, what must I do
to restore the Church's fate?
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245. Go to Venice and bury
two empty coffins.
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246. Gloria Patri
et Filio et Spiritui Sancto
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247. Requiem aeternam dona eis, Domine
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248. Requiescant in pace.
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249. Dominus vobiscum,
Sit nomen Domini benedictum.
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250. Adiutorium nostrum
in nomine Domini.
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251. Benedicat vos ompipotens Deus:
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252. Pater, et Filius,
et Spiritus Sanctus.
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253. Now...
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254. next Sunday...
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255. we won't see each other, my dear,
devoted faithful.
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256. I have to take a trip.
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257. I've decided to visit Africa.
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258. To celebrate
the thirtieth anniversary
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259. of the foundation
of Sister Antonia's
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260. first village of goodness.
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261. I know!
I know you wanted him, not me.
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262. - When will he come out?
- I'll tell you right away
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263. so you can get it out of your mind:
he's not coming out.
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264. What does that mean:
he's not coming out?
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265. In that case, why are we bothering to
all travel together on the same flight?
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266. To feel he's closer.
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267. Sofie, you know perfectly well that
this bullshit won't sell anymore.
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268. Boys, what can I tell you?
He's not coming out.
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269. That's the official version.
Then, I, I couldn't say...
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270. Anything could happen
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271. one thing Pius XIII certainly
doesn't lack is unpredictability.
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272. Take this trip... in two hours
he told us: we're going.
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273. And we put the whole thing together
at the speed of light.
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274. But I'm going to ask him
a really important question.
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275. Not right now, you're not.
- But why won't he come out?
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276. What is he doing?
- He's praying.
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277. And we're praying, too:
that he'll talk to us.
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278. We have been praying
for months now.
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279. So what prayer is he praying?
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280. My dear boy, I still can't read
the Holy Father's mind.
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281. Well, he's not praying aloud. With
this Pope, that constitutes news.
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282. I have an important question
to ask him.
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283. I understand, Jennifer,
but he's not coming out.
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284. Prince Abadi
has prepared the stadium
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285. for the Pope's public speech.
Will he go?
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286. Will he allow himself to be seen
in public for the first time?
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287. He said he will. In any case,
I'll keep you informed. OK?
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288. Sofie, when am I gonna be able
to ask my question?
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289. I don't know, Jennifer.
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290. Holy Father, reliable sources say
that the Kurtwell investigation
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291. is at a standstill.
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292. They say that you've sent
a man with no experience
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293. to conduct that investigation
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294. because you don't actually
want to investigate.
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295. And there's a very specific reason
for that:
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296. Kurtwell is blackmailing you.
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297. Is that true, Holy Father?
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298. And what is Kurtwell
blackmailing you about?
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299. What does Kurtwell know about you
that we don't?
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300. Stay where you are! Nobody move!
Stay where you are!
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301. Stay where you are!
Stay where you are! Nobody move!
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302. Stay where you are!
Don't move!
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303. Don't move! Stay where you are!
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304. Let's go!
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305. This is our church.
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306. Next to it is the dormitory
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307. the health care clinic
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308. the dental clinic
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309. the elementary school
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310. the catechism school
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311. the cafeteria
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312. and the administrative offices.
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313. Not all that glitters is gold.
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314. That water is dangerous.
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315. It can cause fluorosis, anemia
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316. joint pains, dental disease,
and kidney failure.
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317. The main problem afflicting
this area has to do with
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318. a supply of safe,
clean drinking water.
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319. Our benefactors send us huge
quantities of clean water
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320. but the bureaucracy, the soldiers,
and the gangs hijack it illegally
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321. and keep it for themselves.
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322. This is a very ingenious system
designed by a Dutch company
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323. which donated it to us.
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324. The water condenses on the glass
and then drips into containers.
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325. There are times when
we manage to collect
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326. as much as three liters a day.
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327. Would you like some water to drink,
Your Holiness?
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328. No thanks.
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329. Forgive me, Father,
for I have sinned.
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330. I met this famous American author.
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331. What a tempter!
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332. He said he remembered
only the perverse
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333. and lustful details of women.
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334. Now I can't seem to do anything
but remember my own
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335. very few details of that nature.
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336. You might say to me: which ones?
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337. When I met that girl in California
on a beach
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338. more than thirty years ago.
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339. She told me:
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340. "You can touch my legs".
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341. It's become an obsessive,
very unhealthy thought.
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342. Also, even though it was
in good faith
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343. I never even realized I was doing it,
I must have sinned with Esther
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344. Peter, and little Pius.
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345. They left the Vatican,
without saying goodbye to me.
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346. Just vanished.
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347. Now I can't seem to sleep at night
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348. because I'm thinking about
the photo that they left behind
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349. a photo I thought mattered to them:
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350. a photo of me holding
little Pius in my arms.
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351. At times like this
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352. I feel guilty, because I should be
thinking about my only true friend:
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353. Andrew Dussolier...
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354. dead because of me
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355. and yet I've already stopped
feeling guilty about it.
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356. This enormous burden swept away
by a tiny morsel of guilt.
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357. How strange the human soul can be
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358. isn't that true, Father?
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359. Finally, Father, the world!
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360. Pity, compassion...
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361. forgiveness...
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362. all these Christian virtues the
world no longer attributes to me.
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363. Can they be right?
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364. Am I cruel?
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365. All I know is everything I do,
I do for the love of God.
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366. And that's all.
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367. My penitence, Father?
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368. My penitence, Father?
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369. Do you speak English?
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370. You couldn't have told me before?
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371. You've just letting me rattle on
like an idiot
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372. for the past ten minutes!
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373. "Sister Antonia hides the water.
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374. And she uses it to control
the sick and the nuns.
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375. In exchange for a few glasses
of water she demands favors
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376. obscene acts,
and filth I could never repeat.
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377. I beg you, please, Father,
only you can help us."
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378. Accipite et bibite ex eo omnes.
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379. Haec quotiescumque feceritis
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380. in mei memoriam facietis.
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381. I have to tell you something,
Holy Father.
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382. Your Eminence, I don't wanna
hear any more bad news.
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383. You might not believe it
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384. but for the first time I have
a piece of good news to give you.
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385. Let's hear it, then.
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386. The simple fact that you have
announced your first pastoral visit
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387. and the prospect
of your first public appearance
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388. have resulted in a 12% increase
in the number of requests
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389. to take part in your next mass
at St. Peter's.
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390. The morbid curiosity
prompted by absence.
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391. Your Eminence, as an orphan,
I'm very familiar with this.
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392. Holy Father, will you appear here,
in Africa, for the first time?
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393. You once asked me who I really am.
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394. Do you remember that?
- Certainly.
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395. I'm just a man. That's the answer.
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396. That's not all.
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397. Your Holiness, you are the Church.
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398. How wonderful!
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399. And to think that there are
still people who believe
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400. that God doesn't exist.
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401. What was that American journalist
on the plane referring to?
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402. Oh, probably just
one of the many slanders
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403. making the rounds
about the Holy Father.
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404. Kurtwell and Belardo
know each other
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405. because they both
worked in New York, and that's all.
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406. Oh.
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407. Oh I...
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408. Forgive me.
- No.
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409. The civil war in this country
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410. practically speaking,
has never stopped.
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411. It's hard to even come up with
an estimate of the number of dead.
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412. The arrival of the Holy Father
has been particularly useful
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413. because it at least forced
the sides to call a truce.
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414. My fear is that, as soon as His Holiness
leaves this land of ours
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415. the warring bands will go back
to slaughtering each other
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416. just like before.
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417. Prince Abadi is a good man.
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418. He's a great philanthropist,
generous with us
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419. and he does what he can
to halt the violence
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420. but without international aid
the task is daunting.
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421. I'd use my words with care,
Mother Antonia.
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422. The U.N. denounces Abadi
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423. as a ferocious torturer
and old-school dictator
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424. that's why there has been
no international aid.
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425. Your Eminence, I've been
in this place for many years.
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426. Prince Abadi is a good man.
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427. The United Nations has been
in this place for some time, too.
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428. Prince Abadi is a good man.
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429. The question here is: what exactly
does it mean to be a good person?
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430. Let's take you for instance Sister
are you a good person?
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431. I believe I am.
- Don't be in such a hurry.
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432. Think carefully.
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433. I try to live in accordance
with Christian values.
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434. Which ones?
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435. You can use Christian values
for all kinds of purposes.
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436. A good person is somebody
who puts himself last
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437. who renounces
his own temptations and needs
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438. working only for the interests
of others.
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439. Now think carefully
and answer sincerely
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440. because I won't put up with
even the tiniest lie from you:
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441. are you a good person?
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442. There seems to be some kind
of misunderstanding
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443. concerning the meaning
of my visit here to you.
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444. You think I'm here to honor you.
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445. In fact, I'm here
to ascertain your temptations.
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446. Heal yourself, Sister Antonia.
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447. Halitosis is a deformation
of the soul.
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448. Water problem.
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449. Ladies and gentlemen,
His Holiness Pius XIII.
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450. This is the vicar of Christ
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451. Pope Pius XIII,
speaking to you now.
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452. Brothers and sisters
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453. I want to be perfectly clear with you.
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454. I have visited your country
and I have seen dead bodies
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455. lying on the ground
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456. hunger, blood, thirst, and poverty.
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457. All these things are the offspring
of the war and violence
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458. that has clutched your land
for twelve years now.
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459. I won't say the names of those
who are guilty in this.
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460. There are too many of them.
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461. We are all guilty.
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462. We are all guilty of war and death.
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463. Always.
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464. In the same way,
we can all be guilty of peace.
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465. Always.
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466. I ask this of you on bended knee.
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467. I am ready to die for you
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468. if only you will become guilty of peace.
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469. I always say to the children who
write me from all over the world:
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470. think about all the things you like.
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471. That is God.
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472. Children like all sorts of things
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473. but none of them has ever written
that what they like is war.
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474. Now look at whoever is next to you.
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475. Look at them with eyes of joy
and remember
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476. what St. Augustine said:
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477. "If you want to see God,
you have the means to do it.
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478. God is love."
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479. I, on the other hand
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480. won't speak to you about God
until there is peace.
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481. Because God is peace.
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482. And peace is God.
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483. Give me peace
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484. and I'll give you God.
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485. You don't know how wonderful
peace is.
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486. You have no idea how disconcerting
peace can be.
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487. But I know.
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488. Because I saw it
when I was eight years old
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489. on the banks of a river
in Colorado...
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490. peace.
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491. It was beautiful.
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492. Yeah, I know.
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493. Those dancers
gave a wonderful performance.
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494. No, Holy Father,
I'm talking about your speech.
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495. It was beautiful.
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496. Holy Father, weather conditions
in Rome are critical.
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497. We're going to have to land
in Naples.
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498. I would never dare
to contradict you.
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499. Naples it is.
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500. May I touch?
- No!
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501. I need to stop
at the next gas station.
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502. Certainly, Your Holiness.
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503. O Lord...
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504. let us look each other
right in the eyes
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505. we can no longer put off
this matter.
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506. We now need to speak
about Sister Antonia.
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