1. Mr Maleeni.
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2. Hey, guy. You ready to rumble?
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3. If by "rumble" you mean "perform",
yes, I am.
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4. Cool. You know how they said
you get $125 for the day?
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5. It's gonna be 75 instead. The gates for crap.
But the show's got to go on, right?
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6. This will be my greatest show ever.
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7. Right on.
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8. Ladies and gentlemen, damas y caballeros,
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9. I aim today not just to entertain,
but to educate,
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10. to instruct and inform
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11. in the venerable
and ancient history of my art.
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12. Until Johann Nepomuk Hofsinzer called
playing cards "the poetry of magic",
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13. a conjurer's skill was determined entirely
by his ability to perform one effect.
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14. That effect was known as
"the cups and balls".
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15. The games were known for hundreds,
if not thousands, of years.
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16. Perhaps the greatest performer
was the Italian Bartolomeo Bosco.
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17. Get on with it!
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18. Bosco's passes with the cups and balls.
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19. Vade...
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20. chubio...
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21. celeriter.
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22. Three gone... and yet three return.
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23. Bosco had only one contemporary rival,
a Frenchman named Conus,
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24. who announced in that he would
make his wife, who was five foot seven,
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25. appear under one of the cups.
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26. Practice though I have, I have
been unable even to get married.
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27. Ha... ha... ha!
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28. Conus placed one ball in his pocket.
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29. He put the second ball away.
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30. Putting the third ball in his hand,
he made it vanish,
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31. and that's the mystery
of the cups... and the balls.
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32. Yo! Can't you do anything
that ain't a hundred years old?
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33. That ain't old-school, that's decrepit!
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34. Young man, shall I come
heckle you on your job?
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35. Make sure you count out
the requisite number of McNuggets?
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36. Show me something.
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37. Come on. Show me something!
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38. A callow challenge to be met
by experience and skill.
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39. To wit, the Egyptian Dedi,
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40. whose most celebrated feat was
to reattach a recently severed head,
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41. reuniting it with a still-warm body,
and no harm done.
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42. Western history knows
three previous attempts
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43. at recreating this Noachian feat,
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44. each of the three ending in tragedy.
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45. This will be the fourth.
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46. May I have complete silence, please?
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47. Yeah! Signor Maleeni!
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48. Whoo-hoo!
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49. Let's give it up
for the Amazing Maleeni.
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50. Guy, you rock. That kicked ass!
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51. I mean, it looked completely real.
How did you do that?
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52. Oh, yeah, right. Magic.
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53. Oh, hey, your money. Hold up.
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54. Two, four, 50, 55, 60, 65, 70, 75.
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55. You earned it.
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56. Mr Maleeni?
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57. Mr Maleeni.
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58. Oh, God... Oh...
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59. - Neat trick, huh?
- I can think of a heater one:
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60. How you convinced me to get
on the first plane to Los Angeles.
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61. This isn't intriguing enough for you?
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62. A magician turns his head
completely around 360 degrees
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63. to the delight of young and old alike,
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64. after which it plops
unceremoniously onto the pier.
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65. - Did you see the picture?
- Yeah, I saw the picture.
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66. As for this Amazing Maleeni
turning his head all the way around...
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67. - Like you said, Mulder, neat trick.
- But...?
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68. But I'd guess this event was completely
removed from the subsequent murder.
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69. You think this was a murder?
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70. Don't you? Mulder, his head was cutoff.
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71. Ah! Observe the nearly complete
absence of blood,
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72. Observe the paucity of fingerprints
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73. as evidenced by the LAPD's
liberal use of lycopodium powder.
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74. You sound like Tony Randall.
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75. Know that Maleeni was alive
one moment and expired the next,
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76. also that no one saw his fleeing attacker
nor heard the dying man's cries.
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77. I admit that I don't know how it happened,
but I still say that it was a murder.
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78. - So what's your theory?
- A magic trick gone horribly wrong.
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79. One that claims the lives
of all who attempt it.
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80. Can I see that camcorder again?
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81. Thank you.
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82. A tourist videotaped
Maleeni's performance.
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83. Look at this.
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84. That ain't old school, that's decrepit!
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85. Who's the heckler?
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86. Come on. Show me something!
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87. I don't know.
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88. Neat trick, huh?
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89. Hang on a second. Let me see this.
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90. That heckler was pretty hard
to impress, wouldn't you say?
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91. Look, and then he just takes off in a huff.
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92. - You think he's a murderer?
- It's worth checking out.
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93. That'll be a neat trick in itself.
You never see his face.
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94. Ah! But observe.
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95. His discarded soda cup.
The hand may be quicker than the eye,
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96. - but it still leaves fingerprints.
- Provided they haven't dumped the trash.
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97. Sceptic.
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98. Mr LaBonge?
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99. We're Agents Mulder and Scully
from the FBI.
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100. Were you at the Santa Monica Pier
yesterday morning?
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101. Yeah.
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102. You attended a magic show.
The Amazing Maleeni.
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103. Yeah, he sucks. Why?
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104. He's dead, under extremely
suspicious circumstances.
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105. He still sucks. How'd you find me?
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106. Your fingerprints.
You have a criminal record.
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107. A conviction for pickpocketing.
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108. Man, that was performance art.
Besides, it's ancient history.
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109. What are you saying? You think I killed him?
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110. You're on videotape heckling the deceased.
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111. What did you have against Mr Maleeni?
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112. First of all, his name's not Maleeni.
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113. That's the name of a real magician,
a guy at the turn of the century, Max Malini.
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114. - Ever hear of him?
- No,
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115. Too bad. You should have. Anyway,
he steals his name, spells it differently,
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116. and does some tired crap that
wouldn't cut it at a kid's birthday party.
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117. What about when he turns
his head completely around?
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118. Check it out.
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119. No problem. Did you like that?
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120. Yeah.
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121. Watch.
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122. Coin in the hand...
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123. blows away.
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124. Maybe it's a little bit hard for you to see.
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125. Let me make that... bigger for you.
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126. I don't see how they're any different
or better than the ones Maleeni did.
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127. Mozart and Salieri.
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128. They sound pretty much
the same to a layman.
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129. But they ain't. You know what I'm saying?
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130. It's about originality.
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131. Style.
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132. And more than anything else...
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133. soul.
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134. Because that's what separates
the great ones from the hacks.
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135. We can't do this halfway. We're dealing
with powerful forces at work here.
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136. Energies far beyond our mere mortal...
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137. understanding.
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138. Enough to make a magician lose his head?
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139. Could be.
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140. That, and I hear Maleeni racked up
some pretty big gambling debts.
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141. Who knows who he might've pissed off?
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142. Thank you, Mr LaBonge. We'll be in touch.
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143. Please do. Oh, and Agents?
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144. Mozart and Salieri. Which one's which?
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145. I think that professional jealousy is
as good a motive for murder as any.
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146. If it was a murder. I'm not convinced.
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147. If I can get Maleeni into an autopsy bay,
hopefully we can put this issue to rest.
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148. All right, I'm stumped.
And I think I'm supposed to be.
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149. What do you think?
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150. First of all, I'm sorry to disappoint you,
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151. but Mr Maleeni's head
didn't just magically fall off.
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152. It was very carefully sawed.
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153. Very slow and exacting work,
probably with a fine-tooth meat saw.
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154. And check out this little detail...
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155. Spirit gum, Mulder.
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156. It held the head to the body.
Just barely, of course.
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157. - So he was murdered.
- Well, no.
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158. As far as I can tell, this man died
of advanced coronary disease.
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159. - Natural causes.
- Yeah.
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160. So he died of a heart attack,
somebody sawed his head off
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161. and then glued it back on, all in 30 seconds.
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162. Which makes it even stranger still
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163. because, as far as I can tell, this body
has been dead for over a month.
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164. I see signs of refrigeration.
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165. And yet he performed yesterday.
What a trouper.
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166. Somebody performed yesterday.
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167. Cissy Alvarez.
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168. Who are you?
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169. You don't remember me. Ain't that a bitch?
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170. My name's LaBonge.
I did time with you eight years ago.
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171. You were in for bank robbery.
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172. The name doesn't mean anything.
What do you want?
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173. I hear you're a poker player.
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174. You won big off a guy who calls
himself the Amazing Maleeni.
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175. Also goes by the name
of Herman Pinchbeck.
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176. Pinchbeck?
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177. - He's dead.
- Yeah, I saw in the paper.
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178. Something about his head fell off.
What's it to you?
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179. I'm the guy that made his head fall off.
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180. You took his marker.
What did he owe you, 15 grand?
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181. - 20.
- He was never gonna pay you back.
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182. You want to cut to the chase?
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183. Get more of your story out
before we stomp you to death?
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184. How would you like to get back
what you're owed? Times ten.
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185. $200,000? How?
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186. - Helping me.
- Do what?
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187. Magic.
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188. Wanna hear more?
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189. Excuse me,
I'm looking for Mr Albert Pinchbeck.
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190. He's the gentleman right over there.
The poor man.
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191. - He look familiar to you, Scully?
- He certainly does.
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192. - The plot thickens.
- He might try and run.
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193. Come in.
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194. - Good morning, Mr and Mrs...?
- Agents...
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195. Mulder and Scully. FBI.
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196. You're not here for a home loan, I take it.
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197. No, we are investigating
the death of a magician
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198. who called himself the Amazing Maleeni.
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199. Herman Pinchbeck, my twin brother.
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200. Yes, we know. We checked his next of kin.
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201. - What happened to your neck?
- I was in a car accident.
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202. Car accident.
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203. So it has nothing to do with a magic trick
you performed at the Santa Monica Pier?
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204. One which involved you
turning your head 360 degrees?
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205. No. That wasn't me. I was in
a bad car accident in Mexico.
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206. Oh, bad Mexican car accident. In Mexico.
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207. Do you know magic, Mr Pinchbeck?
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208. Yes, I do. Back in the 703,
my brother and I performed together.
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209. - Why did you stop?
- You never really stop.
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210. Pick a card, any card?
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211. Hm. Very impressive.
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212. My brother and I both wanted to do
the best magic the world had ever seen.
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213. The difference was I knew we'd never get
there, but he always believed we would.
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214. We didn't talk much after I quit the act.
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215. I have a theory, Mr Pinchbeck,
and I'm gonna tell you how it goes:
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216. Herman died of heart disease having never
made it as the world's greatest magician,
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217. and that hurts you, just as your
estrangement from him hurts you.
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218. And I think what you did was
perform his last act for him,
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219. one last act for which
he'd always be remembered,
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220. that would end with such a shock,
such a denouement,
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221. as would be for ever remembered
in the annals of magic.
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222. That's what I think.
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223. I so wish that were true.
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224. It was a very bad car accident in Mexico.
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225. - 0y.
- No kidding.
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226. - What now?
- A guy's head falls off.
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227. The greatest trick in the world,
only there's no point to it.
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228. What's the reason for doing it?
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229. Why do people do magic?
To impress, to delight, to gain attention.
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230. This one's gained mostly police attention.
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231. Maybe that's the point.
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232. Maybe we should consult an expert.
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233. Someone who knows magic, who's
seen the greatest trick in the world.
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234. Maybe he can help us figure that out.
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235. - Mozart.
- Yeah.
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236. What's in it for me?
I mean, let's say I help you out.
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237. What do I get in return?
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238. The feeling of pride that comes
from performing your civic duty.
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239. How about the chance to root through
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240. the professional secrets
of your least favourite magician?
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241. Good for a laugh, I guess.
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242. Man, it's worse than I thought.
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243. You gotta feed those things, you know.
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244. So...
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245. - Maleeni wasn't murdered?
- It would seem not.
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246. So someone impersonated him
and his crappy act.
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247. It's impressive.
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248. I'd say the twin did it, but I don't think
he's any better a magician than Maleeni.
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249. There's that, and he's got no legs.
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250. Yeah. Whatever.
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251. Anyway, we're looking for a magician
with the same height and build.
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252. Good make-up and the right wig,
and no one would know the difference.
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253. Not even you, I guess.
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254. I had a couple of Jell-O shots in me.
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255. How did this impersonator
switch out the dead body?
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256. With ease.
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257. You'll kick yourselves when I show
you how he did this, it's so simple.
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258. Because magic is all about...
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259. misdirection.
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260. Your impersonator made sure
everyone was looking the other way
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261. when he pulled Maleeni's body from
its secret hiding place underneath...
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262. the floor.
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263. Man... this guy's good.
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264. Well, thanks for your expert opinion.
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265. I guess we're right back where we started.
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266. Maybe not. You said the Amazing Maleeni
had some gambling debts?
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267. Yeah, that's what I heard.
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268. Check this out. It looks like a marker.
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269. $20,000. Pinchbeck.
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270. What would this be doing in Maleeni's van?
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271. Thank you, Mr Pinchbeck.
If you could sign here for me.
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272. With pleasure.
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273. Anthony, what kind of gun is that?
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274. Glock 17, nine-millimeter.
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275. I've been thinking of maybe buying one.
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276. Here, take a look.
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277. Hm. Gosh, it's heavier than
I would have thought.
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278. Thank you, Anthony, Marvin.
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279. If you ever want,
I'll take you to the shooting range.
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280. - Have a good one, Mr Pinchbeck.
- You too.
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281. Hello. May I help you?
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282. - Damn, you look just like him.
- I'm sorry?
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283. Your no-good, malapaga brother
died owing me money.
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284. A lot of money. You're gonna make good.
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285. I'm sorry, but my brother's debts
are his own.
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286. I said, you're gonna make good,
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287. cos me and my friends,
we know where you live.
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288. - Does that sound like the rear diff?
- Pull over.
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289. Stay here and call it in. I'll check it out.
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290. We got a problem with the rear diff
out on Fourth and Main, checkin' it out...
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291. You! In the truck!
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292. Get up where I can see you!
Hands where I can see them!
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293. Up! Hands up!
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294. All right, get out.
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295. Mister, get out!
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296. I got a guy down back here!
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297. It was a guy with tattoos!
I shot him four times!
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298. I don't understand. He was right here.
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299. That's your handwriting, is it not?
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300. Mr Alvarez, please answer the question.
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301. That ain't mine.
I don't know where you got that.
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302. Yours are the only fingerprints on it.
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303. We ran it through the California
criminal history database,
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304. to which you seem to be quite well-known.
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305. So it's my marker.
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306. So Pinchbeck owed me money.
It was a friendly game of poker.
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307. Very friendly. $20,000 friendly.
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308. - Where did you find that?
- In Herman Pinchbeck's van.
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309. Where were you last Thursday?
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310. Here. All day. Ask 'em.
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311. What is it you think I did to Pinchbeck?
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312. What's in it for me?
If I kill him, he ain't gonna pay me.
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313. Why did you play with him?
You knew he was a magician.
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314. I didn't know what he was.
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315. And he sure as hell
couldn't play worth a damn.
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316. Don't leave town, Mr Alvarez.
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317. Isn't it odd that the Amazing Maleeni's
a lousy poker player?
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318. - He was adept at manipulating cards.
- Maybe he wasn't so adept.
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319. LaBonge certainly doesn't have
a high opinion of his skills.
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320. There's another possibility.
Behold, an ordinary household quarter.
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321. I take the quarter from my right hand
and place it in my left.
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322. Where is it?
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323. - In your right hand.
- No.
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324. - Ah...
- That's not bad.
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325. Blow your nose.
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326. - Blow your nose.
- Atchoo.
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327. - Ta-da. Look at that.
- Amazing!
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328. - The Great Muldeeni.
- What's the point?
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329. It's misdirection, the heart of magic. You
looked one way, the quarter went the other.
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330. - You think that's what's happening?
- We're being led around by our noses.
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331. By whom? Maleeni's already dead.
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332. It appears so, but then, you thought
the quarter was in the right hand.
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333. - 911.
- Hello?
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334. I want to report a man with a gun.
He... he's threatening to kill somebody.
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335. - Can you please speak up?
- No, I can't speak up. I... No, I can't!
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336. Sir?
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337. Hello?
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338. Hello?
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339. Son of a bitch.
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340. Hey, partner. Hey, guys.
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341. - You son of a bitch.
- I'm sorry?
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342. You tried to frame me.
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343. - Hijo de tu...
- I didn't!
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344. - You didn't?
- We got a deal!
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345. We got no deal. I'm gonna bleed you.
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346. Back off!
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347. You're dead.
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348. Freeze! Drop your weapon!
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349. - Hands behind your head!
- Do it!
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350. Bring your head down. Spread your legs.
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351. Agents. An unexpected surprise.
Good afternoon.
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352. We'd like to have a word with you.
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353. - I'm fairly busy, actually.
- I'll bet.
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354. - Hey!
- Let's take a little spin.
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355. - What's this all about?
- It's about misdirection, Mr Pinchbeck...
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356. or should I say the Amazing Maleeni?
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357. Mulder!
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358. It's a trick, Scully. Voila.
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359. Had you fooled.
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360. You're Maleeni?
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361. Call me Herman.
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362. I was afraid for my life.
That's why I did what I did.
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363. I'm not proud of that.
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364. But I owe a lot of money
that I can't possibly pay back.
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365. We know. Gambling debts
to a man named Alvarez.
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366. Yeah, that tattooed psychopath.
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367. I've heard terrible stories about him,
things he did in prison to fellow inmates.
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368. So why'd you play poker with him?
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369. He runs a good game.
I gamble to supplement my income.
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370. God knows, magic barely pays.
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371. Why did you lose? You could
have manipulated the cards.
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372. Cheat? You're asking
why I don't cheat at cards?
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373. Well, you could, right?
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374. Of course I could.
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375. But how would I live with myself?
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376. Who raised you?
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377. Well, sir, what does any of this
have to do with your twin brother
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378. being found decapitated
at the Santa Monica Pier?
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379. I went to my brother for a loan.
Just my luck, and his.
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380. You found him dead of a heart attack.
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381. His body was still warm.
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382. Looking at him, lifeless, I saw myself,
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383. my own eventual mortality.
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384. I saw all the things I meant
to accomplish but didn't.
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385. It was an opportunity to vanish,
become someone else.
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386. Like I said, I'm not proud of what I did.
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387. And so you refrigerated the body...
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388. I needed time to figure out
how to pull it all off.
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389. Impersonating my brother, I called the bank,
told them I needed a vacation week.
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390. A trip to Mexico.
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391. Then the bank received word
that I'd been in a terrible accident.
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392. It gave me plenty of time away from work.
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393. And you posed as an amputee to allay
suspicion that you weren't your brother.
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394. That, and I rather enjoyed the sympathy,
especially from the women in our office.
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395. You, uh, still haven't explained why you
left your brothers body at the pier,
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396. or why you arranged
to have his head fall off.
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397. He explained it. He put it so
eloquently when we last spoke.
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398. It was my final performance.
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399. I wanted to go out with
such a shock, such a denouement,
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400. as would for ever be remembered
in the annals of magic.
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401. - That was your last performance.
- What's this for?
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402. Well, I still think you got
a few tricks up your sleeve.
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403. My God.
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404. We gave you handicapped parking.
We built you a ramp.
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405. - Did he have access to the vaults?
- Yes, he has a key to the day gate.
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406. - Several of us do.
- What are you looking for?
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407. Any hint at all as to why Maleeni here
is really impersonating his brother.
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408. What about this? Could he
have removed funds electronically?
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409. He didn't have security clearance
for electronic fund transfers.
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410. Maybe he got around it.
Can we check the withdrawal records?
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411. It would require your badge number and
thumb print, and probably a subpoena.
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412. We're extra cautious with the EFTs.
You can understand why.
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413. There may be an easier way. If I call up
a transaction list for this terminal...
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414. No. No, everything's in order.
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415. It says here something about
a robbery attempt yesterday.
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416. That wasn't against us, but the
armoured transport service we deal with.
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417. No money was taken
and no suspects were caught.
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418. Mr Pinchbeck was the employee
who signed out the truck.
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419. He knew the schedule.
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420. - I had nothing to do with that.
- Maybe, maybe not.
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421. We'll hold you till we find out,
to make sure you don't pull a vanishing act.
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422. Hey.
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423. - Paul, I'm putting Mr Pinchbeck in six.
- Right.
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424. Sleep tight.
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425. Wait, don't I get a phone call, sir? Sir?
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426. - How'd it go?
- Swimmingly.
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427. Abracadabra, man.
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428. Oh, damn!
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429. Yes. OK.
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430. - All right. All right, thank you.
- Maleeni?
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431. He's still in the city lockup
where he's been since we arrested him.
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432. It certainly doesn't look like he did this.
Lots of fingerprints.
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433. I guarantee you none of them
match our thieves,
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434. They're too clever to leave clues,
except for the ones they want us to find.
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435. Excuse me. May I show you something?
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436. We thought the camera footage
might show the robbers.
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437. - Does it?
- No.
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438. They all mysteriously went blank
from about 3 a.m. to 3.20.
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439. - That's not what we wanted you to see.
- This is from two days ago.
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440. Cissy Alvarez. Convicted bank robber.
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441. - You recognize this man?
- Yeah. Who is he to you?
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442. I know those tattoos.
That's the man who tried to rob my truck.
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443. What the hell, man? What did I do?
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444. You, FBI, what's up with this?
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445. You can't just bust in here! I got rights.
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446. I'm gonna call my lawyer,
then we'll see what's what.
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447. - Nothing back there.
- This is harassment. This is harassment!
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448. What are they looking for?
Come on, man! Somebody talk to me.
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449. - Shut up.
- No, you shut up!
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450. Man, this ain't right.
Why'd you put the cuffs on so tight?
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451. Yo, will you please tell me
what he's looking for?
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452. Well... Saving up for a rainy day?
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453. Oh, no, no. We got framed.
This is a frame-up!
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454. - It was the magician.
- The magician? Maleeni?
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455. No, not the dead one, man!
That little cabron!
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456. LaBonge! LaBonge set me up!
Listen to me,
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457. - Billy LaBonge.
- And the Amazing Maleeni.
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458. That's a double bill I wouldn't wanna miss.
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459. Pinchbeck, you made your bail.
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460. You too, LaBonge.
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461. OK.
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462. Releasing these two
may be a bit premature.
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463. Give us a minute, will you?
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464. Good morning. Did you sleep well?
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465. Agent Mulder. Agent Scully.
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466. - Bravo. Really.
- What do you mean?
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467. Last night the Cradock Marine Bank
was robbed of $1.8 million.
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468. This morning that amount was found
in the possession of Mr Cissy Alvarez.
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469. Wow. I told you he was bad news.
Bravo to you.
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470. - That was expeditious police work.
- Thank you. It was.
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471. It's only that Alvarez was
so obviously guilty.
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472. A convicted bank robber witnessed trying
to rob an armoured car two days earlier?
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473. - He'll need a good lawyer.
- Yeah.
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474. He's up a creek. Just like you two want him.
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475. I don't quite see
where you're headed with this.
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476. I have no evidence,
but I have a theory, Mr Maleeni,
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477. and I'll tell you how it goes:
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478. Your twin brother, Albert,
died of a heart attack,
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479. at which point you and your protege
saw an opportunity.
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480. My protege? I hate this guy's guts.
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481. That's what you wanted us to think.
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482. You wanted revenge against the man
who made your life in prison hell.
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483. I did time with you about eight years ago.
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484. Alvarez. You and he were
on the same cell block eight years ago.
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485. It was a setup. You played poker
with him and made sure you lost big.
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486. It gave LaBonge an in with Alvarez
once everybody thought you were dead.
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487. LaBonge planted Alvarez's marker
in Maleeni's van so we'd find it.
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488. You used Alvarez's greed
in order to ensnare him
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489. and then orchestrated the attempted
bank robbery to implicate him.
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490. That was you in the armoured car,
disguised as Alvarez.
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491. Mr Pinchbeck got ahold of
the guard's gun and switched the clip.
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492. Guard didn't know it,
but he was firing blanks.
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493. Then last night
the two of you robbed the bank,
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494. and planted the money at Alvarez's place.
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495. Don't you think we have pretty good alibis?
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496. You have the best alibis in the world,
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497. which is why you two
got arrested in the first place.
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498. With your expertise
at sleight-of-hand pickpocketing,
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499. I think you were both able to
get out of here by pilfering a guard's key.
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500. You escaped, stole the money, framed
Alvarez and came back for breakfast.
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501. Scrambled eggs and sausage.
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502. That would be the world's
greatest trick, wouldn't it?
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503. One that would be for ever remembered
in the annals of magic.
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504. - What happens to us?
- To you?
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505. You go free... provided the magic is over.
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506. The great ones always know
when to leave the stage.
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507. Billy, let's get the hell outta here.
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508. - They are the world's greatest.
- We saw through their magic.
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509. Nah, there's more.
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510. Behold!
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511. - The Amazing Maleeni's wallet.
- You picked his pocket?
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512. I pilfered it from the evidence room
to prevent their final act of prestidigitation.
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513. - What do you mean?
- I began to wonder,
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514. why did they need so elaborate a setup?
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515. Why so high-profile? Why draw
the attention of the FBI in the first place?
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516. - We were the last piece of the puzzle.
- Alvarez was a misdirection.
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517. This trick was about EFTs,
electronic funds transfers at the bank.
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518. Maleeni, Pinchbeck, he didn't
have security clearance,
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519. so he needed federal law
enforcement intervention -
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520. specifically, my badge number...
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521. and my thumb print.
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522. With those two items,
they could steal enough electronically
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523. as to make that $1.8 million
look like cigar-lighting money.
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524. But they can't do it without this.
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525. Pick a card, Scully. Any card.
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526. There's still one thing
that you haven't explained.
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527. What's that?
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528. How Maleeni was able to turn
his head completely around.
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529. - I don't know that.
- I do. I'll show you.
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530. Observe.
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531. Gee! Very nice. How'd you do that?
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532. Well... magic.
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533. No, seriously, Scully, how'd you do it?
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534. You know, it's not the same thing.
It's different with the head.
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535. Come on. Look at this.
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536. I made this.
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