1. What exactly is going on
right now?Copy !req
2. I'm whistle blowing.Copy !req
3. My freedom of speech
is being infringed upon.Copy !req
4. Ms. Simeon
refused to let me readCopy !req
5. my poem at the recital tonight.Copy !req
6. Well, for starters,Copy !req
7. the superintendent
will be present.Copy !req
8. And knowing you,
that poem is probablyCopy !req
9. as appropriate as chest hair
on a newborn baby.Copy !req
10. It's about my butt.Copy !req
11. Have a good day,
Watterson.Copy !req
12. It's not just about butts.Copy !req
13. It's also about self-loveCopy !req
14. and accepting
yourself as you are, and—Copy !req
15. Sir!Copy !req
16. Sir. Principal Brown!Copy !req
17. What are you doing?Copy !req
18. People need to hear my message!Copy !req
19. Oh, no!Copy !req
20. - Yes!Copy !req
21. Don't you dare, Watterson!Copy !req
22. Watterson!
- This poem is called "My Butt"Copy !req
23. by Gumball Watterson.Copy !req
24. Give me that!Copy !req
25. I'm not gonna lie.Copy !req
26. For someone who looks
like an anemicCopy !req
27. shower drain cannelloni,Copy !req
28. that was mad impressive.Copy !req
29. I'm sorry, Watterson.Copy !req
30. It's just, I have
a problem with butts.Copy !req
31. My own, specifically.Copy !req
32. I... I cover it up with—Copy !req
33. I'm not gonna go into details,
but mine is weird and gross.Copy !req
34. Can you let this slide, please?Copy !req
35. - Uh...Copy !req
36. Don't make it a thing.Copy !req
37. Please, I beg you.Copy !req
38. I can't let you
suffer like this.Copy !req
39. I swear to help you
love yourself.Copy !req
40. No. No. No!Copy !req
41. Can't you see your own shame
is putting your studentsCopy !req
42. at risk of reliving
the same misery?Copy !req
43. No!Copy !req
44. It's for the good
of the children!Copy !req
45. No!Copy !req
46. Oh, all right, then.Copy !req
47. You know, sometimes
all it takesCopy !req
48. to feel better
about a part of yourselfCopy !req
49. is to find a new way
of framing it.Copy !req
50. Well, feel free to frame
my butt for homicideCopy !req
51. of my self-esteem.Copy !req
52. That butt is part of you.Copy !req
53. You just need
to see it in a new lightCopy !req
54. to learn to
love it again. Look.Copy !req
55. No, no, no.Copy !req
56. Yo, this one kind of slays.Copy !req
57. If you're talking
about hereticsCopy !req
58. during the Crusades, maybe.Copy !req
59. No, no, no.Copy !req
60. Oh, that's kind of bold.Copy !req
61. No future!Copy !req
62. Yeah. For my work life.Copy !req
63. Oh, this one feels very me.Copy !req
64. Yeah, it's got that 1950sCopy !req
65. I don't do feelings,
Daddy realness.Copy !req
66. Larry, you're up.Copy !req
67. I don't get paid
enough for this.Copy !req
68. Okay, just relax now.Copy !req
69. Everything's gonna
be all right.Copy !req
70. I'm an adult man, Watterson.Copy !req
71. - I know how to handle my—Copy !req
72. - Stay back! Stay out!Copy !req
73. What was that about?Copy !req
74. It would appear my butt issuesCopy !req
75. are a little more deep-seated
than I first assumed.Copy !req
76. Maybe I can help.Copy !req
77. The people from my villageCopy !req
78. used to complain a lot
about how they looked.Copy !req
79. But they missed those parts
they didn't likeCopy !req
80. once they were gone.Copy !req
81. Oh, hey, you guys.Copy !req
82. So you want to press
charges or anything?Copy !req
83. No. No, I'm good.Copy !req
84. Oh, great.
Then you're free to go.Copy !req
85. Oh, you can go too, by the way.Copy !req
86. No witness, no body, no crime.Copy !req
87. Thank you, Officer.Copy !req
88. I'll get back to my work.Copy !req
89. Another case closed
for Elmore's finest.Copy !req
90. Uh...Copy !req
91. Want to know what I doCopy !req
92. when things don't
go exactly to plan?Copy !req
93. I ask a responsible adult.Copy !req
94. But when Mom's not home,
I ask him.Copy !req
95. What to do when societyCopy !req
96. forces unrealistic
beauty standards upon you,Copy !req
97. and your body looks like
a gas station burrito.Copy !req
98. Make popcorn, I guess.Copy !req
99. No.Copy !req
100. You look at yourself
with the kindness you deserveCopy !req
101. and find the beauty within.Copy !req
102. Oh! I see it too.Copy !req
103. How can it be?Copy !req
104. Is this some sort
of delusional pathology?Copy !req
105. No, beauty is in the eye
of the beholder, my friend.Copy !req
106. I'd demonstrate too,
but unfortunately,Copy !req
107. I was blessed
with such a physiqueCopy !req
108. that I just can't be
improved upon.Copy !req
109. - Anyway, you give it a try.
- Uh... hmm. Uh.Copy !req
110. - Oh.
- Come on. Love yourself.Copy !req
111. Ah!Copy !req
112. Wait, wait, wait! Stop!
What are you doing?Copy !req
113. I can't stop!Copy !req
114. What's up with that
butt of yours, man?Copy !req
115. Uh, I'm sorry.Copy !req
116. Let me explain.Copy !req
117. You see, I was born
with a bald butt.Copy !req
118. I never questioned its shape
until that day...Copy !req
119. with the local school bully.Copy !req
120. Uh...Copy !req
121. What's up with that?Copy !req
122. Why is your crack
so short, bro?Copy !req
123. Does it whistle when you toot?Copy !req
124. Guys, look at this.Copy !req
125. It looks like an egg
with a cleft chin.Copy !req
126. I resorted to wearing
a butt wigCopy !req
127. from that moment forward.Copy !req
128. Huh. It's funny how
a small, innocent commentCopy !req
129. can affect the rest
of your life. Hmm.Copy !req
130. I don't know.Copy !req
131. Sounds like that kid
was a massive cuss word.Copy !req
132. But that's why you have
to let me read my poem tonight.Copy !req
133. So we can right this wrong,
and no student will everCopy !req
134. have to feel ashamed
of their body again.Copy !req
135. That kid went on to become
the superintendent, Gumball.Copy !req
136. He'll be at
the recital tonight.Copy !req
137. - But—Copy !req
138. This is the end
of this discussion.Copy !req
139. No ifs, no andsCopy !req
140. and no, bu— bu— bu-bu—Copy !req
141. I'll heal you, Principal Brown,Copy !req
142. with the power of spoken words,Copy !req
143. no matter whether
you want it or not.Copy !req
144. Mark my words, Principal Brown!Copy !req
145. I will—Copy !req
146. Gray is the color
of the gray sock.Copy !req
147. Gray is the color...Copy !req
148. I'm sorry, Watterson,
but I couldn't let you rope meCopy !req
149. - into further humiliation.
Gray is the color...Copy !req
150. Oh, I hope you're enjoying
the evening, sir.Copy !req
151. Oh, yeah,
my taxi's coming.Copy !req
152. I'm gonna have to cut it short.Copy !req
153. Gray is the color...Copy !req
154. But not as short
as you know what.Copy !req
155. I beg your pardon?Copy !req
156. It is you, isn't it?Copy !req
157. What was your nickname again?
Uh... uh... Badonkadonk?Copy !req
158. Oh, wait. Uh... uh...Copy !req
159. Benedict Plundercrack!Copy !req
160. Wait, wait!Copy !req
161. It's coming.Copy !req
162. Petite Cakes!Copy !req
163. Gray is also the color—Copy !req
164. This one's called "My Butt"
by Gumball Watterson.Copy !req
165. Jiggle, jiggle, jiggle
When I pop a hipCopy !req
166. Rocking from top to bottom
As I do a dipCopy !req
167. Pumping with adrenalineCopy !req
168. Wobbling like gelatin—Copy !req
169. Whoa!Copy !req
170. Come on,
do it for the children.Copy !req
171. Uh...Copy !req
172. Because that beautiful butt
Was born to bounce to the beatCopy !req
173. It's, um, gonna
Rock the lights outCopy !req
174. So, get off your seatCopy !req
175. Shame on you.
How do you sleep at night?Copy !req
176. On my stomach
so you can kiss it, Mr. White.Copy !req
177. That guy's time as principalCopy !req
178. is gonna be shorter
than his— Uh...Copy !req
179. Good evening, sir.Copy !req
180. Uh... uh...Copy !req
181. To the airport. Make it quick.Copy !req
182. Hmm, perhaps a short cut.Copy !req