1. And now, Indiana Jones
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2. at a rock and roll
memorabilia auction.
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3. The next item up
for bidding is this guitar.
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4. This is Peter Frampton's guitar.
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5. It's the very famous guitar
which spoke the words,
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6. "Do you feel like I do?"
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7. Can I start the bidding
at 6,000 dollars?
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8. That guitar belongs
to Peter Frampton.
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9. Peter Frampton is dead
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10. and so are all of
his grandchildren!
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11. Then it belongs in a museum.
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12. Dr. Jones, sit down!
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13. All right,
so coming up this fall,
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14. we got a big push for
some of our drama films.
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15. And as a studio,
we are really looking
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16. for the River's Crest to
be our main Oscar contender.
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17. I like that.
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18. I like the River's Crest.
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19. I wanna say one
quick thing, if I may.
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20. I would love it if we could push
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21. The Current of the Stream
for best actress.
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22. Good, you guys are all here.
You guys are the main guys.
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23. I wanna pitch some
movies to you guys real quick.
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24. I have some great movies
I wanna pitch to you guys.
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25. You guys are the heads
of the studios. That's good.
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26. - Wait, whoa, whoa. Who are you?
- My name's Scott.
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27. I just started working here
at the studio today
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28. and I have some
really good movie ideas—
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29. Scott. Scott, Scott,
where do you work here?
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30. In the mail room. But I have
some really good movies.
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31. - I wanna do this movie—
- A movie idea.
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32. Sorry, Scott,
that's not how we do this.
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33. No, no, just listen. I wanna do
this movie where this guy,
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34. he like breaks
into the White House
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35. and he's going around
and he's stealing everything.
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36. He's a big bag and he's
taking everything off the desk
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37. and putting it in the bag
and he goes in the Oval Office
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38. and he's taking
like ashtrays and lamps
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39. and he's putting
it in the bag and everything.
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40. Then all of a sudden
the Secret Service bursts in,
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41. they're like, "Freeze,
get down on the ground.
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42. You're under
arrest for stealing from
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43. the President of
the United States of America."
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44. And then the guy just pulls off
his mask and he's like,
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45. "I am the President of
the United States of America."
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46. And they're like, "Oh, snap."
And he's like, "You're fired."
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47. You're in a lot of trouble,
now, Scott.
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48. - Yeah, a whole lot of trouble.
- Wait, wait, no, no.
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49. I have another movie
I wanna do where these guys,
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50. they have to go back in time
to fight the dinosaurs
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51. 'cause that's the only way
they can get the antidote.
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52. So they go back in time to fight
the dinosaurs and
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53. they shoot the dinosaurs but
the dinosaurs are bigger
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54. than they thought they were
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55. so the dinosaurs are
like bing-bing, "So what?"
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56. And they're like, "Oh no."
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57. So they go to
the main scientist guy.
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58. This scientist guy's like, "I
think I know how to kill 'em."
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59. They're like, "Great."
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60. So they get the biggest meanest
dinosaur, the boss dinosaur.
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61. They get him on the edge
of a cliff and they're like,
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62. "Okay, dinosaur,
we know how to kill you now."
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63. Then all of a sudden
the dinosaur just
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64. steps off the cliff and
he starts floating
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65. and they're like, "Oh, snap."
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66. And he's like, "Yeah, all
dinosaurs are space aliens."
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67. - Sam, call security.
- Yes right away.
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68. Wait, no, no, no, no, no.
So what you're saying, Scott,
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69. are that the dinosaurs
are actually aliens.
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70. Yeah, but you don't
find that 'till the very,
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71. very end of the movie.
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72. Then this other movie
I wanna do,
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73. where these
guys are in a compound.
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74. This other guy comes in, he
kicks open the door like pvvt!
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75. And they're like, "What's
going on, what's going on?"
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76. He's like, "I got good news
and I got bad news."
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77. They're like,
"What's the good news?"
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78. He's like, "The good news is
I checked it out.
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79. There's a whole
lot of 'em out there
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80. and they're bigger than us and
they have better guns than us,
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81. but I think
I found a secret tunnel.
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82. So if we go right now,
we can get away."
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83. And they're like, "That's great.
What's the bad news?"
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84. And he's like,
"I'm the bad news."
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85. And they're like, "Oh, snap."
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86. That sounds like
a Vin Diesel vehicle.
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87. Yeah, we've got 'em locked
for a two-more picture deal.
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88. Sam, get VD on the phone.
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89. - Scott, more, go.
- Okay, I have another movie
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90. where it's about
the biggest dam in the world
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91. and it's about to break
and destroy all of New York
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92. and Los Angeles,
and they're like, everybody—
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93. Wait, Scott, Scott,
why is the dam gonna break?
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94. 'Cause a satellite
went crazy in space
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95. and it shot a hole
in the ozone layer.
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96. So like, okay,
everybody get outta town,
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97. evacuate the planet.
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98. So everybody's in their cars
and it's gridlocked traffic.
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99. Then at the worst
possible moment
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100. the dam goes psshh!
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101. And this big wall of water
comes down the street,
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102. knocks over
the Empire State Building,
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103. knocks over the Eiffel Tower.
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104. And the wall of water's
coming down the street.
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105. The camera zooms
in on the back of the taxi cab
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106. and Mel Gibson turns around
and he goes, "Not again."
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107. And it goes, boom, boom,
Mel Gibson.
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108. Boom, boom, the dam.
Boom, boom, summer.
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109. - Yeah.
- Yes.
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110. - Whoa.
- That's a great idea.
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111. - Yes.
- Get Mel Gibson back in action.
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112. I really like it.
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113. - Scott, more, go!
- Okay.
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114. I have another movie I wanna do
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115. about all these cool Black
people that hang out
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116. in a driveway and
this car comes up
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117. and they're like, "Who's that?"
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118. Then the windows come
down and green smoke comes out,
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119. and then Method Man
and Redman get outta the car
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120. and they're like, "Oh."
And then Queen Latifah comes up.
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121. She does that funny neck bob
thing she does
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122. that's really funny.
Then all of a sudden,
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123. this big white fuzzy limo
pulls up
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124. and they're like, "Who's that?"
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125. Then the door opens and
Cedric the Entertainer comes out
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126. and he has a
really funny hat on.
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127. - And it's called The Driveway.
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128. Of course,
it's called The Driveway.
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129. That's gonna get
that demographic.
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130. Darren, what's that demographic?
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131. - Black people.
- They're gonna love that idea.
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132. Scott, you have saved
the studio and I thank you.
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133. Oh, thank you.
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134. - And you got some mail.
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135. All right, men,
here comes the American Army,
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136. let's look sharp.
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137. Remember the first impression
is the lasting impression.
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138. My God, they haven't
even got proper uniforms on.
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139. - All right.
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140. Okay, all right, no guffawing,
no guffawing, no guffawing.
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141. Here we go.
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142. Oh, I say, hello there.
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143. Yes, hello.
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144. You are the American Army,
I presume?
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145. Very good, yes.
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146. I am Commander Livingston
of His Majesty's Royal Military,
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147. and we are here to do battle.
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148. Although I do believe
that we did agree upon noon.
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149. Is that correct?
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150. It's not a problem,
it's all right.
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151. It's just in the future
when you say you're gonna
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152. be someplace, it's...
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153. And everything.
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154. Okay, very good, very good.
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155. Shall we have at it then?
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156. All right, would you like
to take a few moments
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157. to get ready?
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158. You're ready now?
They're ready now.
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159. There's hardly
a formation there.
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160. All right,
all right, no guffawing.
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161. I've said this.
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162. Okay, very good.
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163. Uh, very well, since
we are the assaulting army,
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164. you have the privilege of
taking the first volley, right?
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165. And then we shall return
and so on and so forth.
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166. So Godspeed.
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167. Let's have a good one
and good luck to ya.
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168. All right, men.
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169. Now let's show 'em
what we Brits are made of.
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170. Stand your ground.
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171. Oh, you've got one.
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172. Good shot.
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173. Very good shot, actually.
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174. That was Timothy.
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175. He's our maps
and navigations expert.
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176. We'll be in a pinch without him.
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177. Good form.
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178. All right, now it's
our turn to take a volley.
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179. So.
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180. All right, men, let's get ready.
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181. Muskets at the ready.
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182. And do me a favor, let's
have a little fun with this.
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183. Try and pick the one you think
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184. might be their maps
and navigations expert, right?
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185. - Right.
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186. Oh, oh! Oh!
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187. Hey, no!
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188. Now you've had your turn.
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189. You've just taken two volleys
and we haven't even had one.
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190. Now I know that for
a lot of you Americans,
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191. this is your first parlay.
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192. But there are rules
in modern warfare.
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193. We're not dumb beasts.
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194. Right?
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195. Now, since
you've taken two volleys,
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196. we will take two volleys,
and then you may return fire.
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197. You are in effect losing a turn.
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198. - Right.
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199. Hey!
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200. Hey, now you know the rules.
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201. I've just explained them to you.
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202. This battle's
barely even started yet,
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203. and I'm down to
only a handful of men.
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204. You're doing very poorly
in this war, I might say.
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205. Now we will take three volleys
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206. and I do believe we should
be allowed the privilege
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207. to move forward five meters
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208. because of
your willful violation.
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209. - Oh!
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210. Oh!
Who took a shot at the CO?
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211. You took a shot at the...
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212. Reprimand that man.
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213. Reprimand that man.
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214. I have—we'll file
a very important...
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215. I really wish you wouldn't
have worn that today.
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216. I am so sorry.
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217. Empire City is
in trouble tonight.
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218. Where are you, Whip Boy?
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219. Don't you see your signal?
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220. I see it just fine.
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221. Whip Boy.
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222. Hello, Commissioner.
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223. Thank God you're here.
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224. I heard Empire City
was in trouble,
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225. so I came by
to whip things into shape.
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226. Yes, Empire Asylum
has been broken into.
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227. All the villains you fought
over the past year have escaped.
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228. That sounds like
the work of Lion Man.
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229. My arch nemesis.
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230. You think so?
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231. Yeah.
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232. He's still sore
that I whipped his butt.
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233. Yes, well, you know,
he's not the only one, Whip Boy.
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234. Practically all of the villains
have escaped tonight,
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235. and as you know, most of them
have sworn vengeance on you.
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236. Yeah, they're all still sore
that I whipped their butts.
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237. Right, for doing that.
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238. But I just wanted to ask you
here tonight to warn you
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239. to be careful while
you're out there in the city.
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240. Don't worry,
I'll have all those bad guys
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241. back in the asylum so fast,
it'll give them whiplash.
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242. Right, well, maybe
this could give you a clue.
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243. Earlier tonight there
was a big explosion down
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244. at the old chemical plant.
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245. Does that give you
any ideas, Whip Boy?
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246. That gives me
tons of great ideas.
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247. You see, the bad guys
of Empire City probably think
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248. that the tide is turned,
but what they don't know
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249. is that Whip Boy is
a creature of the night.
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250. With a flick of my wrist,
I'll send my barbs of justice
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251. screeching across their face.
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252. I'll hunt down each one
of these evildoers
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253. and whip the crap out of them.
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254. Well, I'm gonna go home now
and have dinner with my wife.
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255. Somebody sounds whipped.
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256. Okay, Whip Boy,
that's enough of that.
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257. Now, just be careful
out there tonight.
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258. Try to get these guys,
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259. but try not to break
any laws while you're at it.
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260. If you do find anybody and
you need help, just let us know.
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261. Do you still have
your cell phone on?
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262. Yep, just charged it.
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263. Okay, great.
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264. Good luck tonight, Whip Boy.
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265. Oh, you going down?
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266. Yep.
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267. Let's go.
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268. - First floor, right?
- That's right.
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269. Oh, allow me.
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270. Go ahead.
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271. - Oh, sorry.
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272. It's okay.
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273. - Hold on.
- Yeah.
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274. Aha.
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275. Looks like we're
making two stops.
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276. Yes, it does.
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277. Two.
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278. Again, sorry about that.
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279. It's okay.
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280. See you later, Whip Boy.
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281. See you later, Commissioner.
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282. - Ow, ow.
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283. Ow!
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284. - You hit me with your gun.
- Shut up!
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285. You hit me with your foot
and it hurt.
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286. We have to be even.
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287. - Now we're even.
- No.
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288. - Shut up.
- You hit me with you...
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289. - Now we're even.
- Shut up.
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290. - No, we're not.
- Now we're even!
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291. - You hit me with your gun.
- Now!
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292. I'm your CO.
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293. You're my little brother,
you dick.
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294. - I'm your CO.
I'm your CO.
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295. - Look, look, dude, look.
- What?
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296. On the—look through
your scope, dumb-ass.
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297. - Ow!
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298. Ow, you dick!
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299. You hit me
in the eye with my scope.
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300. - That hurt.
- Don't hit me with your gun!
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301. We have to be even!
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302. We have to be even!
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303. You guys are assholes!
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304. - Fuck you guys!
- Whoa, whoa.
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305. Watch your gun.
Watch your gun.
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306. - Not cool.
- Put your gun down.
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307. - That's not cool.
- Don't hit me, you little dick.
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308. - Stop hitting me.
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309. - We have to be even.
- Stop!
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310. - Both of you, shut up.
- Ow!
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311. What are you hitting me for?
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312. - I helped you.
- Just shut up!
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313. - Oh!
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314. Oh!
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315. I'm taking the pins
out of your grenades.
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316. - Get away.
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317. I'm taking the pins
out of your grenades.
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318. - Trevor.
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319. Don't take
the pins off his grenades—
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320. Hey!
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321. - Hey, look what Trevor did!
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322. - Zach, look...
Look what he did!
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323. You're gonna get in trouble too.
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324. You're gonna get in trouble.
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325. You're gonna get in trouble too.
We're both gonna get in trouble.
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326. Sam.
Shut up!
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327. - You're gonna get us in trouble.
Look at me, Sam!
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328. - Shut up!
- Be quiet, Sam.
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329. You're going to
get us in trouble.
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330. - We're gonna spit on you.
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331. Don't spit on me!
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332. Sam, Sam, we're gonna
take your pants off.
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333. - Don't take my pants!
- Sam!
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334. We're gonna take your pants off
if you don't be quiet.
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335. We're gonna take your pants off
if you're not quiet.
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336. We're gonna get in trouble!
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337. - Be quiet.
Shut up!
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338. - We're taking your pants off.
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339. Hi, Jim Biederman.
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