1. My name is Amrita.Copy !req
2. - Zion.
- Zion?Copy !req
3. - Yeah. Thank you.
- Beautiful name.Copy !req
4. How do you find Thailand?Copy !req
5. Well, you know,
I just got here, but I like it.Copy !req
6. Um, I grew up in Hawaii.
It's actually...Copy !req
7. really similar.Copy !req
8. Except there's no monkeys
in Hawaii.Copy !req
9. Yeah.Copy !req
10. It's actually crazy seeing them
up in the trees, you know?Copy !req
11. Is it your first time
meditating?Copy !req
12. No. No, no, no. My mom,
she's all into the, you know,Copy !req
13. spiritual stuff.Copy !req
14. Yeah, she just sent me hereCopy !req
15. 'cause she knows
I've been pretty stressed out.Copy !req
16. Just finishing finals and, um...Copy !req
17. you know, some other stuff.Copy !req
18. Okay. Shall we begin?Copy !req
19. Yeah, yeah, let's— let's do it.Copy !req
20. Just close your eyes for me.Copy !req
21. Take a moment to settle...Copy !req
22. and focus on your breathing.Copy !req
23. Inhale...Copy !req
24. and exhale, fully release.Copy !req
25. Let us calm
our chattering monkey minds...Copy !req
26. and find in the silenceCopy !req
27. what is timeless.Copy !req
28. Breathe in...Copy !req
29. slowly, and breathe out.Copy !req
30. Let the sounds
of the external world fade away.Copy !req
31. And focus only on your breath.Copy !req
32. Um, ma'am?Copy !req
33. Ma'am, that's a gun.Copy !req
34. - Huh? Uh...
- Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
35. - Oh, fuck.
- Okay, uh, stay calm.Copy !req
36. - Just stay calm.
- My mom's out there.Copy !req
37. - My mom's out there. No, no, no.
- Zion. No, no, no, st—Copy !req
38. - My mom's out—
- Oh my God!Copy !req
39. Oh, God!Copy !req
40. Stay down.Copy !req
41. Please let my mom be okay.
Please.Copy !req
42. Oh, Je— Oh, Jesus,
please forgive me of my sins.Copy !req
43. I pray you protect my mom
and me.Copy !req
44. Let us get out of here.
In Jesus' name, amen.Copy !req
45. What the fuck?Copy !req
46. I said don't let anything happen
to my mother, motherfucker!Copy !req
47. Made in ThailandCopy !req
48. Oh, yeah!Copy !req
49. Made in ThailandCopy !req
50. Oh, yeah...Copy !req
51. Would you mind
taking it over there?Copy !req
52. My wife and I are bothered
by the smoke.Copy !req
53. Look, stop your smoking
on the boat.Copy !req
54. You don't have to
be a dick about it.Copy !req
55. Be a dick about what?Copy !req
56. Made in ThailandCopy !req
57. Oh, yeah...Copy !req
58. Morning.Copy !req
59. Ni hao.Copy !req
60. Morning.Copy !req
61. Khun Sritala. Khun Sritala!Copy !req
62. Khun Sritala.Copy !req
63. The boat should be here
any minute.Copy !req
64. I need more time.Copy !req
65. Of course, but it's almost
at the platform.Copy !req
66. Tell them to cruise the bay.Copy !req
67. - Cruise the bay?
- Yeah.Copy !req
68. Made in ThailandCopy !req
69. Hello! Hi!Copy !req
70. Sawatdee kha.Copy !req
71. Welcome to the White Lotus
in Thailand, kha.Copy !req
72. Thank you.Copy !req
73. - For you.
- Ooh!Copy !req
74. - I'm okay. I don't— I don't need one.
- Take one.Copy !req
75. I'm Fabian, general manager.Copy !req
76. I'm pleased to introduce you
to one of the hotel owners,Copy !req
77. Khun Sritala.Copy !req
78. She is the visionary
behind our wellness program.Copy !req
79. I may be biased, but we are
the best in the world.Copy !req
80. Oh my God.
We are so excited to be here.Copy !req
81. Mook is your health mentor
for the week.Copy !req
82. She will answer
all your questionsCopy !req
83. and can escort you to your room.Copy !req
84. - You are so pretty. Wow.
- Khop khun kha.Copy !req
85. - Isn't she so pretty?
- Let's just go to the room.Copy !req
86. - This way, please.
- Oh my God. You're so pretty.Copy !req
87. What's your name again? Mook?
Love that.Copy !req
88. Please stop talking.Copy !req
89. - Wow.
- Whoo!Copy !req
90. Yeah.Copy !req
91. - Hi.
- The Ratliff family, yes?Copy !req
92. - That's us.
- How was your flight?Copy !req
93. Long layover in Doha,
but it's all forgotten now.Copy !req
94. We flew over the North Pole.Copy !req
95. How did you find us, may I ask?Copy !req
96. Uh, well,
Piper here is a senior,Copy !req
97. - thank you, at Chapel Hill—
- I was also a Tar Heel.Copy !req
98. But Timothy went to Duke.
Saxon graduated Duke.Copy !req
99. Lochlan, our youngest,
just got accepted to both.Copy !req
100. So you can imagine,
it's a whole thing.Copy !req
101. And she's
a religious studies major.Copy !req
102. So she's writing her thesis on—Copy !req
103. Well, what's your
thesis on, Pipe?Copy !req
104. - Dad, don't.
- Yeah, well, it's on Buddhism,Copy !req
105. and there's a monk
at a monastery near here.Copy !req
106. Anyway, she wants
to interview him.Copy !req
107. So we made
a family road trip of it—Copy !req
108. Pam. Would you please
escort them to the villa?Copy !req
109. - Certainly.
- Please enjoy.Copy !req
110. Um... Right this way.Copy !req
111. - Thank you.
- Enjoy.Copy !req
112. - Enjoy.
- Enjoy.Copy !req
113. - Hi!
- Oh my God!Copy !req
114. - Hi!
- Hi.Copy !req
115. Sawatdee kha. I am Sritala.Copy !req
116. I'm one of the owners.Copy !req
117. Nice to meet you.Copy !req
118. I am a fan. My husband also.Copy !req
119. - Oh.
- We watch your show.Copy !req
120. Aw. Thank you.Copy !req
121. - Are these all your friends?
- Uh... Yes,Copy !req
122. - this is Kate and Laurie...
- Hi.Copy !req
123. and we have been friends
since forever.Copy !req
124. Yeah, we went to school together
when we were, like,Copy !req
125. - nine years old...
- Yep. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
126. - ... through high school.
- Yeah.Copy !req
127. - Old friends.
- No, long-time friends. Not old.Copy !req
128. Ah, yes.Copy !req
129. You know, we have just been
so busy with our lives,Copy !req
130. and we've been
missing each other, so...Copy !req
131. You know, we just live
in different cities.Copy !req
132. And then Jaclyn heard about
this place.Copy !req
133. Everyone in LA
is talking about it.Copy !req
134. Sawatdee khrap. Welcome.Copy !req
135. This is Valentin.
He will be your health mentor.Copy !req
136. - A health mentor?
- Wow.Copy !req
137. - I love it.
- Okay.Copy !req
138. He is our best.Copy !req
139. Everyone requests him
because...Copy !req
140. he's handsome.Copy !req
141. I look forward
to working with you.Copy !req
142. He is from Russia.Copy !req
143. - Bye!
- Enjoy.Copy !req
144. Miss Belinda.
Sawatdee khrap.Copy !req
145. I'm Pornchai.
We have spoken on the phone.Copy !req
146. I'm just so happy
to finally meet you.Copy !req
147. We are honored to have you here.
And this is for you.Copy !req
148. Thank you. I'm honored.Copy !req
149. And I'm just so glad
all this worked out.Copy !req
150. And I want to learn
everything I canCopy !req
151. and bring the magic
back to Maui.Copy !req
152. That's great. Shall we?Copy !req
153. Everyone here is eager
to meet you.Copy !req
154. Oh, I can't wait.Copy !req
155. Sick.Copy !req
156. Fuck yeah.Copy !req
157. Dad. Dad,
I know I gave you shit,Copy !req
158. but this place is clutch.Copy !req
159. - I did my research.
- God, you're always right.Copy !req
160. Saxon was our hold-out.Copy !req
161. We usually stay
at the Caribbean.Copy !req
162. What? No, no, no, no.
I don't need a vacation, so...Copy !req
163. I mean, I love working.Copy !req
164. - What?
- Saxon works for his father.Copy !req
165. They love it.Copy !req
166. - It's Tim's dream.
- It's pretty great.Copy !req
167. How wonderful for you.
How wonderful for you.Copy !req
168. So, how many bedrooms are there?Copy !req
169. Uh... Three.Copy !req
170. The master
is through the common area,Copy !req
171. and then there is
one bedroom on either side.Copy !req
172. Okay. So, Lochy, you're with me.Copy !req
173. - All right.
- Uh... He can sleep with me.Copy !req
174. I don't mind.Copy !req
175. But that'd be weird.Copy !req
176. Why is it weird?Copy !req
177. Because brothers and sisters
don't sleep togetherCopy !req
178. after they have full grown,
you know...Copy !req
179. genitals.Copy !req
180. - Saxon. That's a bad word.
- What?Copy !req
181. Stop!
Stop! Saxon, please!Copy !req
182. Stop! Stop!
Let me go! Stop.Copy !req
183. - We're a normal family. You'll see.
- I don't know.Copy !req
184. - Seriously!
- Um... What's the— What's the Wi-Fi?Copy !req
185. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
186. Uh... We don't actually have Wi-Fi
in the villas.Copy !req
187. - What?
- What? No Wi-Fi?Copy !req
188. Yeah. We consider the hotel
to be a digital detox area.Copy !req
189. So we actually encourage
our guests to put your phones,Copy !req
190. your laptops, your electronics,
into this bag.Copy !req
191. I will take them.
I will put them in our safe.Copy !req
192. And at the end of the week,
we will give them back to you.Copy !req
193. And that way, you can just
focus on, um, being presentCopy !req
194. and each otherCopy !req
195. and self-care.Copy !req
196. Yeah.Copy !req
197. This come up in your research, Dad?Copy !req
198. - No. Um...
- It's optional.Copy !req
199. - Oh.
- Oh, okay.Copy !req
200. I think it's a great idea.Copy !req
201. The only people I want to see
are right here anyway.Copy !req
202. - All right, honey, uh, I just—
- I'm sick of these phones.Copy !req
203. It's not realistic.Copy !req
204. We will be keeping
the phones, Pam.Copy !req
205. Okay. Uh... We just ask,Copy !req
206. don't take them out
into the common areasCopy !req
207. so as not to disturb
the other guests.Copy !req
208. Can we bring it to the gym?Copy !req
209. - Oh my God. Dude, are you dense?
- What? No.Copy !req
210. I get a way better pump
if I'm listening to music.Copy !req
211. It's a common area.Copy !req
212. He's so cute.Copy !req
213. Oh, no, I'm serious.Copy !req
214. I mean, what— what— what am I
supposed to do here all weekCopy !req
215. without my phone?Copy !req
216. Eat a bunch of fruit?Copy !req
217. Oh, uh...Copy !req
218. Well, we do have a lot
of amazing fruit here,Copy !req
219. but I wouldn't eat that.Copy !req
220. Uh... That is the fruit
of the mighty pong-pong tree,Copy !req
221. and the seeds
of the fruit are toxic.Copy !req
222. Yeah?Copy !req
223. - Could it kill you?
- Yeah, it could, actually.Copy !req
224. It's very poisonous.Copy !req
225. Look, I wouldn't worry
about being bored, okay?Copy !req
226. Um... 'cause you're each
gonna have a busy scheduleCopy !req
227. that's based on
your own personal goals.Copy !req
228. What?Copy !req
229. Tomorrow,
you'll do your biometrics test.Copy !req
230. - I don't want to take a test.
- Okay, okay.Copy !req
231. - Is it complicated?
- No, no, no. You—Copy !req
232. - We're jetlagged.
- We get a whole bunch of data,Copy !req
233. and I take those results...Copy !req
234. - Yeah.
- ... and I put togetherCopy !req
235. - a personalized plan...
- Yeah. No.Copy !req
236. - ... that best suits your needs.
- Okay, Pam, you seem great.Copy !req
237. You're a terrific person.
But we're tired.Copy !req
238. We've taken three flights to get here.
So let me make it easy for you.Copy !req
239. We just want to have
a good time.Copy !req
240. And me, I don't...Copy !req
241. I just—
I just want to work out.Copy !req
242. So you take care of us,
and believe me,Copy !req
243. in a week's time,
I'll take very good care of you.Copy !req
244. - All right?
- Thank you so much.Copy !req
245. I'll see you tomorrow.
See you tomorrow.Copy !req
246. Pam's going, everyone. Say bye.Copy !req
247. - Bye.
- Nice to meet you. Welcome.Copy !req
248. - Thank you.
- Welcome.Copy !req
249. - See you.
- Thanks so much, Pam.Copy !req
250. I think I'm going to take a nap.Copy !req
251. Oh, are you sure, honey?Copy !req
252. You do that
and you won't sleep tonight.Copy !req
253. - Oh, I'll sleep like a baby.
- Yeah?Copy !req
254. I'm so happy.Copy !req
255. Yeah. Come on.Copy !req
256. Let's get you settled.
Let me walk you in.Copy !req
257. Hey, Lochy,
do you wanna go—Copy !req
258. Stop! Stop.Copy !req
259. Do you want to go see the temple
with me?Copy !req
260. It's just like a mile
down the beach.Copy !req
261. - Yeah.
- No, we were gonna go to the pool.Copy !req
262. I mean, don't you wanna go
to the pool?Copy !req
263. Yeah, well, I'll come—Copy !req
264. I'll come with you to the temple,Copy !req
265. and then I'll come meet you
at the pool after.Copy !req
266. Okay. Yeah, whatever.Copy !req
267. I'll, uh... I'll see you down there.Copy !req
268. Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad.Copy !req
269. Have fun, son. See you in a bit.Copy !req
270. Yeah, we've been all over.Copy !req
271. We've been to Mexico.
We've been to Costa Rica.Copy !req
272. But we can go wherever, really,
'cause Rick barely works.Copy !req
273. I used to be a yoga teacher.Copy !req
274. Oh, wow.Copy !req
275. - Yeah, that's cool—
- But we've been traveling so much.Copy !req
276. We were gonna go back to Bali,
but then one day,Copy !req
277. he woke up, and he was like,
"We're going to Thailand."Copy !req
278. Yeah. And once he gets
an idea in his head,Copy !req
279. you can't argue with him.
Isn't that right, babe?Copy !req
280. Well, I hope you enjoy Thailand.Copy !req
281. Thank you. Oh, hi.
Great, the bags.Copy !req
282. Yeah, you can just put themCopy !req
283. - in the bedroom.
- Okay.Copy !req
284. - Yeah. Sorry they're so heavy.
- Oh, it's okay.Copy !req
285. - How are you? Thanks.
- Good. You?Copy !req
286. Uh... Question for you.Copy !req
287. You know that lady on the beach,Copy !req
288. - the owner?
- Oh, yes.Copy !req
289. Is she married?Copy !req
290. Yes, to Khun Jim, Jim Hollinger.Copy !req
291. He's a very famous man
in Thailand.Copy !req
292. Is he here?Copy !req
293. No, he's been sick.
He was in hospital here.Copy !req
294. Yesterday, he got released,
and he went back to Bangkok.Copy !req
295. - He's in Bangkok?
- This place is insane.Copy !req
296. Fuck.Copy !req
297. Fucking motherfucker.Copy !req
298. Of course he is.
I need a fucking drink.Copy !req
299. Oh, he gets migraines
when he flies.Copy !req
300. It's no big deal.Copy !req
301. If you need anything,
please let me know.Copy !req
302. - Thank you so much.
- Thank you. Enjoy.Copy !req
303. She's so nice!
And her name's Mook.Copy !req
304. How cute is that? Mook.Copy !req
305. Oh my God. Jesus.Copy !req
306. We're splurging.
We should always live like this.Copy !req
307. Let's check out the spa menu.Copy !req
308. Wow. All these treatments.
You should get a facial.Copy !req
309. Rick, the lady in the airport
thought you were my dad.Copy !req
310. Okay? You should get
a gentleman's facial.Copy !req
311. No.Copy !req
312. You know that's the whole reason
why people come here?Copy !req
313. This is a wellness center.Copy !req
314. That's not why I came here.Copy !req
315. Why did you come here?Copy !req
316. I wanted to go to Australia.Copy !req
317. Well, I told you
that I can't go to Australia.Copy !req
318. Why? Would you get arrested?Copy !req
319. You're like a fucking
machine gun, you know that?Copy !req
320. Enough with the questions.Copy !req
321. Oh.Copy !req
322. Stress management meditation
with Dr. Amrita.Copy !req
323. Yeah, you need this.Copy !req
324. Yeah, you need
to sort your shit out.Copy !req
325. You've got issues.Copy !req
326. I've got issues?Copy !req
327. Oh, you're the one who's crazy.Copy !req
328. Ooh! Hey, maybe we should get
fucked up tonight, you know?Copy !req
329. Last hurrah before our detox.Copy !req
330. Let's have fun! Okay?
Think about it.Copy !req
331. I love it here! Thank you!Copy !req
332. Hi.Copy !req
333. Jacs, it's perfect.
Are you kidding?Copy !req
334. - I have my own pool.
- Are you sure?Copy !req
335. - I want you to be happy.
- Hey, guys.Copy !req
336. There's like a bunch
of monkeys up in the tree.Copy !req
337. - Really?
- Yeah.Copy !req
338. - Wow.
- Just don't feed them.Copy !req
339. Monkeys can be aggressive.Copy !req
340. - Laurie, how's your room?
- It's great.Copy !req
341. I feel like you're
kind of tucked away up there.Copy !req
342. - I'm happy to switch.
- No, I'm fine. The view is incredible.Copy !req
343. Anyway, you paid.
You should get first pick.Copy !req
344. Oh my gosh. You guys,
I'm happy with anything.Copy !req
345. Just being here with
the three of us, I'm in heaven.Copy !req
346. I would sleep in a tree.Copy !req
347. That's too generous of you.Copy !req
348. That's so nice.Copy !req
349. But we're paying
for our own treatments.Copy !req
350. And I'm going to pay for some
of your treatments, too.Copy !req
351. Khop khun kha.Copy !req
352. You guys!Copy !req
353. Should I open a bottle?Copy !req
354. - Heck yeah!
- Let's open a bottle.Copy !req
355. These are the moments
we gotta celebrate.Copy !req
356. A hundred percent.Copy !req
357. And we're not getting
any younger.Copy !req
358. Well...Copy !req
359. except you, Jac.
You look amazing.Copy !req
360. You look amazing.Copy !req
361. But you look incredible.Copy !req
362. You look incredible.Copy !req
363. You look the same
as you did 20 years ago.Copy !req
364. Oh, okay.Copy !req
365. You both do.Copy !req
366. Yeah, but you look like you just
got pushed out of a birth canal.Copy !req
367. Oh, God.Copy !req
368. - Who's your doctor?
- Shut up. Who's your doctor?Copy !req
369. I don't know
why you'd want to knowCopy !req
370. 'cause he's not as good as your doctor.Copy !req
371. I haven't done anything.
Except for, you know,Copy !req
372. a little maintenance.Copy !req
373. The basics.Copy !req
374. Me too.Copy !req
375. Thanks.Copy !req
376. To Thailand. To monkeys.Copy !req
377. To self-care.Copy !req
378. - And a week of new memories.
- Yes.Copy !req
379. Cheers.Copy !req
380. To the greatest friends
I have ever known.Copy !req
381. Seriously, you'll never know
how much I love you.Copy !req
382. I feel the exact same way.Copy !req
383. I look at you two...Copy !req
384. It's like I'm looking
in a mirror.Copy !req
385. Sawatdee kha.
This is for you, Khun Belinda.Copy !req
386. Oh my goodness.
Thank you so much.Copy !req
387. We are so happy
to have you here.Copy !req
388. It's been a rough
couple years,Copy !req
389. and when this program opened up,
it was a blessing.Copy !req
390. I think the universe knew
I needed something.Copy !req
391. Anyway, I just want to thank you
in advanceCopy !req
392. for sharing
your knowledge with me.Copy !req
393. - Khop khun kha.
- Khop khun kha.Copy !req
394. It's beautiful.
It's truly beautiful.Copy !req
395. - Oh my God!
- Oh! What? What?Copy !req
396. - Oh! Don't, don't, don't.
- No, no, no.Copy !req
397. - Oh my God! What was that?
- Uh, monitor lizard.Copy !req
398. Not dangerous.
No worry, no worry. Come here.Copy !req
399. It's okay.Copy !req
400. In time, lizards will become
your friends.Copy !req
401. No. Uh-uh. No, Pornchai.Copy !req
402. This is Brahma,
the creator, a Hindu God.Copy !req
403. And that is spirit house.Copy !req
404. Thai people believe
that spirits are everywhere,Copy !req
405. so we give them offerings
for good luck and protection.Copy !req
406. I pray that your time here
brings you good memoriesCopy !req
407. and good results.Copy !req
408. Thank you. I pray for that, too.Copy !req
409. Okay, careful.Copy !req
410. Should we check it out?Copy !req
411. Isn't that why we came here?Copy !req
412. I'm just not ready yet.Copy !req
413. It's cool though, right?Copy !req
414. Yeah?Copy !req
415. Well, if we're not gonna go in,
I might...Copy !req
416. head back.Copy !req
417. Okay.Copy !req
418. I think I'm gonna stay
a little longer.Copy !req
419. - All right.
- Thanks for coming with me.Copy !req
420. - Yeah. Later.
- Bye.Copy !req
421. Hey. Hey!Copy !req
422. Hey, babe. Come on.Copy !req
423. You fall asleep now,
you're gonna regret it later.Copy !req
424. Did we have to go
halfway around the world?Copy !req
425. Couldn't she write her thesis
on her own religion?Copy !req
426. She could have interviewed
the Archbishop of Canterbury.Copy !req
427. We could have stayed
at Claridge's.Copy !req
428. Mr. Ratliff, this is Bart Nixon
at the Wall Street Journal.Copy !req
429. I've been trying to reach you.
I'm on a deadline.Copy !req
430. If you could call me back
when you get thisCopy !req
431. at 771-444-5801.Copy !req
432. It's somewhat urgent,
so I hope to hear from you soon.Copy !req
433. Some guy
from the Wall Street JournalCopy !req
434. keeps calling me.Copy !req
435. Lochy! Loch!Copy !req
436. Yo.Copy !req
437. Yo, how were the monks?Copy !req
438. They were chilling.Copy !req
439. Dude, those long plane rides
make me so fucking horny.Copy !req
440. It's like a lot of hot women
away from home,Copy !req
441. no one to answer to,
acting all anonymous.Copy !req
442. It's like printing money.Copy !req
443. Cougars.Copy !req
444. Hey. Hey.Copy !req
445. We saw you guys
on the boat earlier.Copy !req
446. - Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.Copy !req
447. - Yes, hi.
- Hi.Copy !req
448. I'm Saxon.
This is my little brother, Lochy.Copy !req
449. Hi.Copy !req
450. You guys should get in the pool.Copy !req
451. I mean,
the temperature's perfect.Copy !req
452. Sounds fun.Copy !req
453. Hey, you're on TV, aren't you?Copy !req
454. - Yeah.
- Yeah.Copy !req
455. Yeah, I— I recognize you.Copy !req
456. Yeah, thanks.Copy !req
457. Very cool.Copy !req
458. All right. I have...Copy !req
459. Psst! Hey.Copy !req
460. How do you— How do you get
a drink around here?Copy !req
461. You walk up to the bar,
and you order one.Copy !req
462. Hey, it's a numbers game, Loch.Copy !req
463. You gotta play the numbers.Copy !req
464. So, I'm— I'm here
the whole three months?Copy !req
465. Yes.Copy !req
466. You know, you sure know
how to treat a burnt-out bitch.Copy !req
467. I mean, there's two beds.
That's perfect.Copy !req
468. You know,
my son's coming to visit.Copy !req
469. Oh, what a lucky young man.Copy !req
470. Uh... Tomorrow,
I'll come by at 9:00,Copy !req
471. and I'll walk you to the center.Copy !req
472. That's amazing.Copy !req
473. Khop khun kha, Pornchai.Copy !req
474. Yin dee khrap.
Have a pleasant stay.Copy !req
475. Thank you.Copy !req
476. Okay, then.Copy !req
477. You know
what this reminds me of?Copy !req
478. When we did that sketch
in school,Copy !req
479. and we were all one person.Copy !req
480. And Jaclyn, of course,
was the face.Copy !req
481. What do you mean, of course?Copy !req
482. And we hid behind you,
and I had my handsCopy !req
483. in some shoes,
and I was your feet, and...Copy !req
484. And I was the arms.
And I put lipstick on.Copy !req
485. I got it all over your face,Copy !req
486. and I brushed your teeth.
Remember?Copy !req
487. - Yes, I do. You—
- Oh my God! Right!Copy !req
488. Isn't that cool?Copy !req
489. So, when are you interviewing
this celebrated monk, Piper?Copy !req
490. I'm gonna go by the monastery tomorrow
and set it up.Copy !req
491. You mean you came
all the way here,Copy !req
492. and you haven't set it up
already?Copy !req
493. Don't worry, Dad.
He's not going anywhere.Copy !req
494. What about you, Loch?
What are your goals for the week?Copy !req
495. Don't have homework, so,
uh, probably just take it easy.Copy !req
496. Hm. I saw in the spa catalogCopy !req
497. they got a treatment
for posture.Copy !req
498. Keep your spine straight.Copy !req
499. If you're going to sit in front
of a computer your whole life,Copy !req
500. it'd be good
not to be a hunchback.Copy !req
501. Yeah?Copy !req
502. Well, I don't know.Copy !req
503. I also have a big decision
to make, too.Copy !req
504. So I'll probably spend
some time thinking about that.Copy !req
505. What decision?Copy !req
506. College.Copy !req
507. What's the decision?
You got into Duke.Copy !req
508. You're going to Duke.Copy !req
509. Tar Heel.Copy !req
510. Oops.Copy !req
511. Dad, what are you doing?
You're not supposed to have your—Copy !req
512. - Hello?
- What are you doing?Copy !req
513. No, don't take it in here.
Go outside.Copy !req
514. Hold— Hold on a second.
Where am I meant to go?Copy !req
515. I don't know! The lobby!Copy !req
516. She said not to have it...Copy !req
517. - Out.
- ... in, like, public spaces. Come on.Copy !req
518. - All right.
- Oh my God.Copy !req
519. Ooh. I don't mean to complain,
but that's not very much.Copy !req
520. She wants you to taste it.Copy !req
521. - Oh! Oh.
- Yeah.Copy !req
522. - Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's delicious.
- Good.Copy !req
523. Just a bit more.Copy !req
524. What— What is this shit?Copy !req
525. Khop khun kha.Copy !req
526. Gluten-free rice
and coconut balls?Copy !req
527. What are we,
at a fucking fat farm?Copy !req
528. Oh, this is so on-brand for you.Copy !req
529. To be a victim
of your own decisions.Copy !req
530. Good evening, ladies.Copy !req
531. - Hi.
- Hi!Copy !req
532. - Hello.
- Hi!Copy !req
533. How's your villa?Copy !req
534. - Oh my God. They're so beautiful.
- I saw monkeys!Copy !req
535. We gave you my favorite.Copy !req
536. A table
of such beautiful ladies.Copy !req
537. Thank you.Copy !req
538. You know, when we were little,
people would always mix us up.Copy !req
539. Couldn't tell us apart.Copy !req
540. But then Jaclyn got famous, so...Copy !req
541. Khun Sritala was an actress herself.Copy !req
542. Were you? I believe that.Copy !req
543. Many, many years ago.Copy !req
544. She's going to sing tomorrow night,Copy !req
545. so you must come here for dinner.Copy !req
546. We wouldn't miss it.Copy !req
547. I have some popular songs
in Thailand.Copy !req
548. And then, I married my husband.
He's an American.Copy !req
549. Khun Sritala is very famous
here in Thailand.Copy !req
550. Also a pioneer
in the wellness space.Copy !req
551. - Really?
- Yeah.Copy !req
552. Um... I have autoimmune disease.Copy !req
553. So I learned all about health
and wellness.Copy !req
554. I even wrote books.Copy !req
555. Uh, no, no, no.Copy !req
556. Stop, stop, stop.
No. No, no. No, no.Copy !req
557. You know what?
I— I'm not going to eat.Copy !req
558. What's going on with you?Copy !req
559. I'm just not hungry.Copy !req
560. You know, I think the cosmos
brought us togetherCopy !req
561. so that we could get
to the root of your issues.Copy !req
562. No, I'm gonna help you
get your joy back.Copy !req
563. - Yeah?
- Yeah.Copy !req
564. - Good luck with that.
- Goodnight.Copy !req
565. - See you tomorrow.
- Even if it kills me.Copy !req
566. Goodnight. Sawatdee kha.Copy !req
567. You know what?
I'm gonna go have a smokeCopy !req
568. and go back to the room.Copy !req
569. You wanna get into some tantric later?Copy !req
570. Would that make you happy?Copy !req
571. Thank you for taking my call.
Do you have a minute?Copy !req
572. Well, I'm in Thailand
on vacation with my family.Copy !req
573. So, you know, a minute. Sure.Copy !req
574. I'm writing a piece
on Kenneth Nguyen.Copy !req
575. Did you work with him in 2018
to set up a fund called Sho-Kel?Copy !req
576. Can you confirm that?Copy !req
577. Sorry. What is this article even about?
Wh...Copy !req
578. We're looking into Sho-KelCopy !req
579. and Mr. Nguyen's relationship
to the government of Brunei.Copy !req
580. Well, I'm afraid I won't be able
to help you much there because,Copy !req
581. uh, I mean, I know Kenny moved
to Brunei,Copy !req
582. but I haven't seen or spoken
to him for, I don't know,Copy !req
583. four years at least. Um...Copy !req
584. - Well—
- Anyway, look, I—Copy !req
585. Like I said, uh, um,
I'm on vacation with my family,Copy !req
586. - and, uh...
- I'm sorry, could you—Copy !req
587. May— Why don't you put
all your questions in an email,Copy !req
588. send it to my office,
and I'll get back to youCopy !req
589. 'cause it's really—
it's really not a good time.Copy !req
590. We're running the story this week.Copy !req
591. Well, you know,
good luck with that.Copy !req
592. - And, uh, thanks a lot. Bye-bye.
- Could you at least—Copy !req
593. Kenny. It's Tim.
I was just talking to a guyCopy !req
594. from the Wall Street Journal
asking questions about Sho-Kel.Copy !req
595. You know about this?Copy !req
596. Anyway, uh, just... give me a call.Copy !req
597. I'm in Thailand, so I don't know...Copy !req
598. Whatever time it is, I'll try and pick up.Copy !req
599. But you— But call me, Kenny.
Okay? Call me.Copy !req
600. - How's your night?
- Fuck off.Copy !req
601. Fuckin' prick.Copy !req
602. - What's up, Dad?
- Hey.Copy !req
603. - Anything I can help with?
- Uh... It's nothing.Copy !req
604. Well, if it was nothing,
then why did you take it?Copy !req
605. 'Cause it was something,
and I'm gonna handle it,Copy !req
606. and then it will be nothing.Copy !req
607. Okay, y'all,
the point is to be present.Copy !req
608. - Here. Now. Okay?
- Yeah.Copy !req
609. - Thank you.
- Okay.Copy !req
610. Mom.Copy !req
611. Mom.Copy !req
612. Mom.Copy !req
613. You were asleep.Copy !req
614. Scratch my arm.Copy !req
615. Okay.Copy !req
616. Feels so good.Copy !req
617. Hi, Nat. Um... Can I get
a Mauresque please?Copy !req
618. Khop khun kha.Copy !req
619. I love your outfit.Copy !req
620. Thank you.Copy !req
621. I love your teeth.Copy !req
622. Thank you.Copy !req
623. - You're from England, right?
- Yeah.Copy !req
624. I used to go to London
all the time for work.Copy !req
625. - Ooh, for work?
- Yeah.Copy !req
626. - What was your work?
- No, just, you know, modeling.Copy !req
627. Oh, how glamorous.Copy !req
628. - Are you from London?
- No, I'm from Manchester.Copy !req
629. Oh, okay.
Are you here by yourself?Copy !req
630. No. My boyfriend's hiding from me.Copy !req
631. No way,
that's like my boyfriend.Copy !req
632. Your boyfriend hides from you?Copy !req
633. Yeah. I mean,
he just tells me to get lostCopy !req
634. because I get on his nerves.Copy !req
635. But honestly, he's so fucking boring,Copy !req
636. I almost don't even care.Copy !req
637. How long have you been here for?Copy !req
638. A year.Copy !req
639. You've been at this hotel for a year?Copy !req
640. No, no. We have
a house at the top of the hill.Copy !req
641. We just come down here to eat,
but we just got in a fight,Copy !req
642. so I'm letting him cool off.Copy !req
643. He's behind me, the bald guy.Copy !req
644. The one with the orange shirt.Copy !req
645. Oh.Copy !req
646. Yeah, you'll notice a lot
of bald White guysCopy !req
647. - in Thailand.
- Yeah?Copy !req
648. The locals call them LBHs.Copy !req
649. Losers back home.Copy !req
650. Oh.Copy !req
651. Thank you, Nat.Copy !req
652. My boyfriend's going bald.Copy !req
653. So much in common.Copy !req
654. We really do.Copy !req
655. What are you having? Martini?Copy !req
656. - Yes, please.
- Nat, another martini, please.Copy !req
657. - Thank you.
- Thank you.Copy !req
658. - Hey, let's get pissed.
- Let's get pissed.Copy !req
659. Cheers.Copy !req
660. It's so nice to meet you.Copy !req
661. So nice to meet you.Copy !req
662. I mean it.Copy !req
663. Everybody's so nice,
and I love the culture.Copy !req
664. They're always lighting candles,
and everything smells so good.Copy !req
665. Oh! and I saw
two Black people tonight,Copy !req
666. and they weren't staff.Copy !req
667. - That's awesome, Mom.
- So, you got a final today?Copy !req
668. Yeah, I have
microeconomics this morning,Copy !req
669. then statistics Wednesday.Copy !req
670. And then, I'm coming to see you.Copy !req
671. I can't wait.
I don't know what I expected,Copy !req
672. but I'm starting to feel
like something good'sCopy !req
673. going to come out of this.Copy !req
674. You deserve it, Mom.Copy !req
675. All right. I'm gonna let you go.Copy !req
676. I love you, and I miss you.Copy !req
677. And, uh,
good luck on your finals.Copy !req
678. - Love you.
- Bye.Copy !req
679. Oh!Copy !req
680. No, no, no, no. The fuck was that?Copy !req
681. Uh-uh. No snake falling
on my head. Uh-uh.Copy !req
682. Mm-mm. Not today.Copy !req
683. Okay, Jac,
I know that it's nice to haveCopy !req
684. the red carpet rolled out
for you all the time,Copy !req
685. but is it weird to have people
constantly kissing your ass?Copy !req
686. Because I think I would go crazy.Copy !req
687. It's fine. I always have to be gracious.Copy !req
688. And I can't have a bad day
in public anymore.Copy !req
689. And I'm sure you have to wonder
about people's motives.Copy !req
690. I mean, I even get that.Copy !req
691. Everyone in Austin knows
about Dave and his company.Copy !req
692. And there's so many times
I think someone wantsCopy !req
693. to be my friend
because they like me.Copy !req
694. I mean, I think I'm cool.Copy !req
695. But then I realize,Copy !req
696. pretty quickly,
they have some agenda.Copy !req
697. They, you know, want a donation
or a job for their kid,Copy !req
698. or want me to get them
on some board.Copy !req
699. I'm not complaining.Copy !req
700. I'm lucky to be in a position
to help people.Copy !req
701. - But...
- We're all lucky.Copy !req
702. - We're so lucky.
- Yeah.Copy !req
703. Yeah. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
704. I am always bragging
that I know you,Copy !req
705. and people don't believe
we're friends.Copy !req
706. And I'm like, "I'm telling you,Copy !req
707. she's like one
of my closest friends."Copy !req
708. Yeah.Copy !req
709. Well, and you.Copy !req
710. Your kids are gorgeous,
your beautiful homes.Copy !req
711. You're totally winning life.Copy !req
712. Well, look at you.Copy !req
713. Now, you've found
the man of your dreams.Copy !req
714. Oh my God.
Who would have ever thought?Copy !req
715. Right?Copy !req
716. - Yeah.
- Oh, and Laurie.Copy !req
717. You just... Everything you do
is just so hard.Copy !req
718. You know, you've always been
so impressive.Copy !req
719. I mean, that corporate world
is so tough.Copy !req
720. Yeah.Copy !req
721. And your daughter seems like
she is turning into a really cool girl.Copy !req
722. Yeah?Copy !req
723. Yeah.Copy !req
724. Thanks.Copy !req
725. Dave said,Copy !req
726. "So, what? You're going
on a midlife crisis tripCopy !req
727. with your girlfriends?"Copy !req
728. And I was like, "Dave, it is not
a midlife crisis trip.Copy !req
729. It's a victory tour."Copy !req
730. Victory tour. I love that.Copy !req
731. That's it.Copy !req
732. You guys, I think the jet lag
is catching up to me.Copy !req
733. Oh! I'm gonna go to bed.Copy !req
734. Hey, I'll help you with the door.Copy !req
735. Okay, night night.Copy !req
736. - Mmm. Bye.
- Good night.Copy !req
737. Night night. Love you, too.Copy !req
738. - Love you both.
- I'll get—Copy !req
739. - I'll get the door.
- Oh, thank you.Copy !req
740. Identity is a prison.Copy !req
741. No one is spared this prison.Copy !req
742. Rich man, poor man,
success or failure.Copy !req
743. We build the prison,
lock ourselves inside,Copy !req
744. then throw away the key.Copy !req
745. You shouldn't humor her bullshit.Copy !req
746. All right? She has issues
she needs to deal with.Copy !req
747. What are her issues?Copy !req
748. Well, for one, which I'm sure
you've noticed...Copy !req
749. she's pretty hot.Copy !req
750. But I don't think
she's ever been laid before.Copy !req
751. Look, Buddhism is for people
that want to suppress in life.Copy !req
752. They're afraid.
Don't get attached.Copy !req
753. Don't have desires.
Don't even try.Copy !req
754. Just sit there
in a lotus positionCopy !req
755. with a thumb up your ass.Copy !req
756. But, I mean,
it is good to want things.Copy !req
757. You know,
as long as you can get 'em.Copy !req
758. I mean,
getting what you want in life,Copy !req
759. that's happiness, bro.Copy !req
760. But...Copy !req
761. what do I want, I guess?Copy !req
762. Pussy.Copy !req
763. Money, freedom, respect.
I mean, look, you're—Copy !req
764. you're smart and good-looking,
Loch.Copy !req
765. I mean, sure, we need
to buff you up a little bit,Copy !req
766. but you've got so much ammo.Copy !req
767. You don't need to shrink away
from life like her.Copy !req
768. Get laid. Get everything.Copy !req
769. I'm gonna help you.Copy !req
770. - Thanks.
- Yeah.Copy !req
771. No problem.Copy !req
772. So,
what kind of porn do you like?Copy !req
773. What?Copy !req
774. Like hot teacher? Bukkake?Copy !req
775. Real question is,
how the fuck am I gonna jerk offCopy !req
776. with you in here all week?Copy !req
777. Eh, I'll just go to the bathroom.Copy !req
778. Timothy.
I just got a second wind.Copy !req
779. Oh, shit.Copy !req
780. Don't worry. I took a Lorazepam.Copy !req
781. That guy on the boat
was such an asshole.Copy !req
782. Saw him in front of the hotel.
Asshole again.Copy !req
783. He's probably just jealous.Copy !req
784. I mean, you have
a beautiful wife, right?Copy !req
785. Yes, I do.Copy !req
786. - The most beautiful.
- Who adores you.Copy !req
787. You have three perfect children
who worship you.Copy !req
788. You have an amazing career.Copy !req
789. And what does he have?Copy !req
790. Cirrhosis? Lung cancer?Copy !req
791. Some bimbo he met
on the internet?Copy !req
792. We have it good. No doubt.Copy !req
793. And it's all because of you.
You did it.Copy !req
794. Everyone tells me
what a great man you are.
11
Eh, I'll just go
to the bathroom.Copy !req
795. Timothy.
I just got a second wind.Copy !req
796. Oh, shit.Copy !req
797. Don't worry. I took a Lorazepam.Copy !req
798. That guy on the boat
was such an asshole.Copy !req
799. Saw him in front of the hotel.
Asshole again.Copy !req
800. - He's probably just jealous.
- Huh.Copy !req
801. I mean, you have
a beautiful wife, right?Copy !req
802. Yes, I do.Copy !req
803. - The most beautiful.
- Who adores you.Copy !req
804. You have three perfect children
who worship you.Copy !req
805. You have an amazing career.Copy !req
806. And what does he have?Copy !req
807. Cirrhosis? Lung cancer?Copy !req
808. Some bimbo he met
on the internet?Copy !req
809. We have it good. No doubt.Copy !req
810. And it's all because of you.
You did it.Copy !req
811. Everyone tells me
what a great man you are.Copy !req