1. Previously on The West Wing...Copy !req
2. I had to take the summit
away from Josh.Copy !req
3. Yeah.Copy !req
4. Governor Baker, welcome.Copy !req
5. Yeah. And he'll have it
wrapped up by Super Tuesday.Copy !req
6. So, how are your numbers
in Iowa?Copy !req
7. Iowa and New Hampshire
look very good.Copy !req
8. I get why you're so worried
about Baker,Copy !req
9. but why not about Hoynes?Copy !req
10. I'm running for President.Copy !req
11. I want you to
run my campaign.Copy !req
12. Russell is on his way to being
the nominee, and, God willing,Copy !req
13. So get on board
or get out of my way.Copy !req
14. You're too good at this.
You can't just walk away.Copy !req
15. Watch me.Copy !req
16. Not a real Republican;
Hhe's a California Republican.Copy !req
17. Are we really saying that
there isn't a single Democrat...Copy !req
18. President thinks Arnold Vinick
is perfect for U.N. Ambassador.Copy !req
19. It's your job to feel him out,
see if he'd be up for it.Copy !req
20. Thank you.Copy !req
21. We can't tell you what an honor
it's been to be here.Copy !req
22. To actually work here
in the White House.Copy !req
23. best friend, Zoey Bartlet,
I wantthe First Daughter.Copy !req
24. I'm not the First Daughter.Copy !req
25. Well, I thought...Copy !req
26. Zoey Bartlet, the third daughter
of the First Family.Copy !req
27. Come on, guys.
One more trick.Copy !req
28. You are just spoiled rotten,
aren't you, Zoey.Copy !req
29. e?
Well, you certainly deserve
another trick. Just one?Copy !req
30. Teller.Copy !req
31. I love that trick.Copy !req
32. So simple. There is nothing like
a vanish. So pure.Copy !req
33. a magic trick, a simple vanish,
can have no meaning whatsoever.Copy !req
34. But what if, instead of
using that handkerchief,Copy !req
35. a meaningless
piece of cloth,Copy !req
36. we were to use
a piece of clothCopy !req
37. that was nothing
but meaning?Copy !req
38. What if the piece of cloth
we choseCopy !req
39. was the flag of the
United States of America?Copy !req
40. 'Cause, you know,
with this flag on stage,Copy !req
41. there's a lot
to think about.Copy !req
42. Now it catches the gleam
of the morning's first beam,Copy !req
43. in full glory reflected
it shines in the stream,Copy !req
44. does the Star Spangled
Banner, O long may it wave,Copy !req
45. o'er the land of the free
and the home of the brave.Copy !req
46. And what if, instead of using
that meaningless pieceCopy !req
47. we were to use a piece of paper
that means more to usCopy !req
48. than any other piece of paper
in the world—Copy !req
49. the Bill of Rights.Copy !req
50. The first ten amendments
to the Constitution.Copy !req
51. Including my favorite amendment,
the First Amendment.Copy !req
52. It's the one that guarantees,
not just everybody in this room,Copy !req
53. but every single person
in the United States—Copy !req
54. every citizen, every visitor,
every magician—Copy !req
55. It's the one that says,
if we want to add a little bitCopy !req
56. of, uh,
spontaneous combustionCopy !req
57. to our simple vanish,
we can do that.Copy !req
58. We can take a... some tinder
and a very eccentric magic wand,Copy !req
59. and we can do this...Copy !req
60. And it's okay.Copy !req
61. 'Cause even though
the flag is gone,Copy !req
62. the Bill of Rights remain.Copy !req
63. Did they just burn
an American flag
in the White House?Copy !req
64. You guys, I'm just going to run
through the highlights
real quick.Copy !req
65. The President leaves Andrews
this afternoon at 2:15 p.m.Copy !req
66. with a stop in Louisiana,
before departing tonightCopy !req
67. from New Orleans
for the flight to Beijing.Copy !req
68. Any indication when
the President is goingCopy !req
69. toThe First Lady will complete
U. her visit to India tomorrowCopy !req
70. and arrive in Beijing in timeCopy !req
71. for the state dinner
on Thursday night.Copy !req
72. How long is the President gonna
leave the U.N. post vacant?Copy !req
73. Not as long as I'm
gonna ignore questionsCopy !req
74. about anything other
than the China trip.Copy !req
75. the President will meet
with shrimp fisherman
and shrimp packers...Copy !req
76. They're called shrimpers,
Annabeth, not shrimp
Whfishermen.Copy !req
77. In New Orleans, the President
will meet with representativesCopy !req
78. of the shrimp industry
about their request to invokeCopy !req
79. anti-dumping sanctions against
imported Chinese shrimp.Copy !req
80. on human rights that you
Her and President LianCopy !req
81. will put out at the end of
the first day of meetings.Copy !req
82. Not a word about Tibet?
Tibet's in there.Copy !req
83. We just couldn't use
the word Tibet.Copy !req
84. Okay, show me where you think
the Tibet sentence is here?Copy !req
85. Mr. President, what you say in
the room is entirely up to you.Copy !req
86. What we say afterward in
the joint statement is not.Copy !req
87. I'm gonna hammer them
on Tibet in the room.Copy !req
88. And they're gonna
hammer you about your
Indian reservations.Copy !req
89. Indian reservations
weren't my idea.Copy !req
90. I'm just saying the sure they'll
Department of TransportationCopy !req
91. has a loMr. Secretary, you've
right nogot transportation
on your plate.Copy !req
92. That's all.Copy !req
93. I assumed you were going
on the China tripCopy !req
94. and that we would have
another weekCopy !req
95. to get ourThis is more important
than the China trip.Copy !req
96. of the United budg
States of America
we're talking about.Copy !req
97. Youwho hasn't submitted
a budget proposal yet.Copy !req
98. I can't ask OMB to put
together a complete budgetCopy !req
99. estimate until I got...
I'll be back.Copy !req
100. Senator Vinick's confirmed
for 11:15,Copy !req
101. which means we have to move
your OMB meeting to, like, now.Copy !req
102. Give me a miAnd then you've got
that other thing
after wheels-up.Copy !req
103. What thing?
Me.Copy !req
104. Oh, right, sure.Copy !req
105. Hey... you're back.Copy !req
106. Nah, I just have to
sort out some files
I left in my office.Copy !req
107. Can't Margaret send them
to your house?Copy !req
108. Be a federal crime
if she did.Copy !req
109. Your-eyes-only
kind of thing?
Yeah.Copy !req
110. You hear about
this Vinick thing?Copy !req
111. President ran it
by me yesterday.Copy !req
112. Vinick's been investigating
us for seven years nonstop,Copy !req
113. and we're offering
him a job?Copy !req
114. Sure, we've had some
run-ins with him, but...Copy !req
115. He has always supportedn-ins?
the President on foreign policy.Copy !req
116. Hey, sweetie.Copy !req
117. Hey, boss.Copy !req
118. Let me tell C.J.
you're here.Copy !req
119. Just set me up somewhere
with those filesCopy !req
120. and I'll stay out
of everyone's way.
I moved them over to
C.J.'s old office.Copy !req
121. Shredder?
Engine's running.Copy !req
122. And this is the statementCopy !req
123. on regional security that you
and President Lian will put outCopy !req
124. The last day shouldn't be about
at thregional security.Copy !req
125. It should just be about
North Korea.Copy !req
126. They're only willing
to discuss North KoreaCopy !req
127. in the context
of other regional...Copy !req
128. Don't they understand
that North KoreaCopy !req
129. is their regional
security problem?Copy !req
130. Fix that and we've saved
half the world.Copy !req
131. how much you want
to talk about it.Copy !req
132. they don't have to talk to me
about anything else.Copy !req
133. Mr. President,Copy !req
134. our agenda with ChinaCopy !req
135. is now as long and complexCopy !req
136. as it is with any other country
in the world.Copy !req
137. I know.Copy !req
138. To narrow a summit
to this one issue...Copy !req
139. We can talk about the rest
I knoof this stuff on the plane.Copy !req
140. C.J.:
Mr. President, I think we shouldCopy !req
141. cover as much as we can with
the staff here before...Copy !req
142. We got 20 hours to kill
in the airCopy !req
143. over the next two days.Copy !req
144. We got an election coming upCopy !req
145. and we're actually saying
there's no DemocratCopy !req
146. who can represent us
at the U.N.?Copy !req
147. The President wants
Arnold Vinick.Copy !req
148. Was Vinick
your recommendation?Copy !req
149. I've known the
guy 30 yearsCopy !req
150. and I don't know anyone
better for the job.Copy !req
151. Sorry, I'm...
I'm having some troubleCopy !req
152. imagining Arnie Vinick
as a diplomat.Copy !req
153. U.N. could use some
tough love these days.Copy !req
154. The President wanted
to ask him himself,Copy !req
155. but you don't want to
put them alone in the roomCopy !req
156. until we know
Vinick will say yes.Copy !req
157. If he plays hard to get,
I'm out of there.Copy !req
158. If he says yes, he won't be
I'm ninvestigating us anymore.Copy !req
159. We doing this just to get him
off our backs?Copy !req
160. No. The President thinks
he's the best we can get.Copy !req
161. I'm just trying to give
you your motivation.Copy !req
162. I think we're all anxious aboutCopy !req
163. the subjects because you're
insisting on being aloneCopy !req
164. in the room with
the Chinese leaders.Copy !req
165. Yeah. You want to be
in the room too?
I do not.Copy !req
166. But I think C.J. and
Kate and the Secretary...Copy !req
167. I don't want to fly
all the way to ChinaCopy !req
168. just to participate in
another phony ritualCopy !req
169. of putting out these
joint statementsCopy !req
170. on what we already agreed to
before the trip.Copy !req
171. After the controversy
about the Taiwanese flag,Copy !req
172. This is my last China summit.l
It's my last chance.Copy !req
173. I want to walk into that room
and show the ChineseCopy !req
174. that they are not
dealing with some
staff-dependent puppet.Copy !req
175. I want them to see
that I'm readyCopy !req
176. to get some real work done
right there in the room.Copy !req
177. Progress isn't good enough
for me now;Copy !req
178. I want to get something done.Copy !req
179. You like shrimp,
don't you?Copy !req
180. I love it.Copy !req
181. You might be interested
to knowCopy !req
182. how much of the shrimp
sold in the U.S.Copy !req
183. actually comes from China.Copy !req
184. Nice. Okay, go ahead.Copy !req
185. Uh, yes, sir. Well,Copy !req
186. one of the most
difficult trade issuesCopy !req
187. on the agenda this
time is shrimp.Copy !req
188. Shrimp.Copy !req
189. the agenda will be the
security of the region.
of the sCopy !req
190. Does that include North Korea?Copy !req
191. Walter, just let me get through
the return trip itinerary
and we're done. omethes, it doesCopy !req
192. Annabeth, is it true
that Penn and TellerCopy !req
193. burned an American flag in
the White House last night?Copy !req
194. How many times do I have to tell
you I'm not taking questions?Copy !req
195. Who invited Penn
that they and Teller to
to burn the White House?Copy !req
196. Penn and Teller were invitedCopy !req
197. to perform at a private partyCopy !req
198. last night in the East Room.Copy !req
199. Because it was a private party,Copy !req
200. the White House
has no further comment.Copy !req
201. Walter, as I said...
Was the President
a lin the room?Copy !req
202. Mark, I'm not taking questions.Copy !req
203. Was the President:
Well, in the room or not? st did.Copy !req
204. Even if we make
significant progressCopy !req
205. in tariffs and quotas
and state-sponsored industries,Copy !req
206. if they don't budge
on the currency issue,Copy !req
207. then we might not actually
be ableCopy !req
208. to achieve any real gains...Copy !req
209. "State has confirmed
that China has just releasedCopy !req
210. "Wen Jong as a goodwill gestureCopy !req
211. "on the eve
of the President's arrival.Copy !req
212. for six-and-a-halft
years on charges..."Copy !req
213. Congratulations,
Mr. President.Copy !req
214. They always give us one
before a summit.Copy !req
215. We need to draft a
Wen Jostatement right now.
anyHey, Milly.Copy !req
216. Hi, C.J.Copy !req
217. Madame Surgeon General,Copy !req
218. the briefing book on
public health in ChinaCopy !req
219. is maybe just
a touch too technicalCopy !req
220. for someone who almost flunked
organic chemistry.Copy !req
221. What'd you get, a B?Copy !req
222. B-plus, as I recall.Copy !req
223. Well, I don't remember
any of it.Copy !req
224. Are your bags packed?Copy !req
225. I need a seminar from
Excuyou on the planeCopy !req
226. about SARS and AIDS in China.Copy !req
227. No punch line?Copy !req
228. 2:15, but we're already
Whee20 minutes behind, so...Copy !req
229. So you've got plenty
of time to pack.Copy !req
230. Yes, sir.
Leonard, go ahead.Copy !req
231. Stanley.
As I was saying,
since the ChineseOkay.Copy !req
232. currency remains
pegged to the dollar...Copy !req
233. The Penn and Teller
thing leaked.Copy !req
234. I got hit with it when I was
giving them the China schedule..Copy !req
235. How did the
"private party"
line go over?Copy !req
236. Like a lead balloon.Copy !req
237. The President's not gonna
let us say anything else.Copy !req
238. They want to know
who invited Penn and Teller.Copy !req
239. And they really want
They wanto know if the President
who was was in the room.Copy !req
240. I knew this was gonna leak
the second it happened.Copy !req
241. The second what happened?Copy !req
242. Hmm?Copy !req
243. How do we know what they did
or how they did it?k.Copy !req
244. Are you saying maybe they didn't
really burn the flag?Copy !req
245. Doesn't matter.
People saw them do it.Copy !req
246. maybe they just pretended
to burn a flag. ed a flagCopy !req
247. Okay. Annabeth,
get Penn and TellerCopy !req
248. to make a
statement sayingCopy !req
249. they didn't really burn
the flag and we're done.Copy !req
250. I don't want flag
questions chasing us
all the way to China.Copy !req
251. And so we commend
the Chinese governmentCopy !req
252. for releasing Wen Jong,
but we hope that other...Copy !req
253. Commend is too strong
a word, isn't it?Copy !req
254. We were encouraged
by the Chinese government.Copy !req
255. Yeah, that's better.Copy !req
256. We need a couple
of signatures.Copy !req
257. We need to get
that statement outCopy !req
258. Should we talk about who
before wthe Chinese governmentCopy !req
259. C.J.:
No, we should focus
on what we won today.Copy !req
260. So, just a general
line thenCopy !req
261. about what we hope
they do in the future?Copy !req
262. C.J.:
Right. And we need to
tie it into the summit.Copy !req
263. negotiations on all ofeut
the issues on our agenda.Copy !req
264. Let me take
another look at that.Copy !req
265. C.J.:
So, we're going to getCopy !req
266. Penn and Teller to put out
a statement explainingCopy !req
267. What? And ruin a perfectly good
bsegment of Crossfire tonight?Copy !req
268. I'm sorry;
I didn't realize you wantCopy !req
269. every question in the China
summit press conferenceCopy !req
270. to be about flag burning
in the White House.Copy !req
271. You want to see any of these
Christmas party invitationsCopy !req
272. Only the ones you're accepting,g
which I hope are none.Copy !req
273. So far.Copy !req
274. Are wheels up yet?Copy !req
275. In four minutes.Copy !req
276. So that's like what,
50 minutes behind schedule?Copy !req
277. Forty-eight.Copy !req
278. Okay, so you owe me...Copy !req
279. No, no, no. You bet
45 or under and I...Copy !req
280. I never bet 45 or under,
not on a foreign trip.Copy !req
281. a pathological liar
over three bucks?Copy !req
282. I'm late for Vinick.Copy !req
283. Not anymore,
you're not.Copy !req
284. Did he cancel?Copy !req
285. No, I just rescheduled
it for you.Copy !req
286. This better be good.Copy !req
287. Vinick's scheduler
was fine with it.Copy !req
288. She said later
that I mighwould actually be
a problembetter for the Senator.Copy !req
289. He won't be rushed.Copy !req
290. Uh-huh. So?Copy !req
291. So, Charlie needs you.Copy !req
292. Well, obviously, that means
it's a C.J. thing.Copy !req
293. He's been passing
along stuff for herCopy !req
294. since she's been,
you know, on the road.Copy !req
295. You can say China trip.Copy !req
296. Every time you say
"on the road,"Copy !req
297. it screams trying to avoid
saying "China trip."Copy !req
298. Me avoid saying
something to you?Copy !req
299. Let's get two thingsCopy !req
300. First, I'm fine not
going on the China trip.Copy !req
301. Picking a U.N. ambassador
is no small thing.Copy !req
302. And second, only I can decide
to reschedule Vinick,t pick himCopy !req
303. not you and Charlie.Copy !req
304. your fragile ego intact,
I've been trying to kCopy !req
305. to avoid using the phrase
"direct order from C.J."Copy !req
306. I'll take your coat.Copy !req
307. Toby, you gonna have a statement
on the flag burning?Copy !req
308. Toby, you have a statement...Copy !req
309. I have nothing more
( re on the flag thing.Copy !req
310. Toby, one
more question...Copy !req
311. C.J., I think we've usedCopy !req
312. about enough
presidential timeCopy !req
313. talking about
a kid's birthday party.Copy !req
314. Did they really
What else you gotburn the flag?Copy !req
315. I don't know.Copy !req
316. I was in bed five minutes
after Zoey blew out the candles.Copy !req
317. I have a draft statement
for you to look at.Copy !req
318. We really should
get a statement outCopy !req
319. before we land
in New Orleans.Copy !req
320. "While I do not condone
flag burning..."Copy !req
321. blah, blah, blah...Copy !req
322. "I was not present when..."
blah, blah, blah...Copy !req
323. It's too long.
Let me work on that.Copy !req
324. No. Let me.
It was a private party.Copy !req
325. I'll stress that.
No, that's it.Copy !req
326. That's my statement.
"It was a private party."Copy !req
327. d.
It was in the White House.Copy !req
328. There were at least 50 peoplee.
there— we can't just say...Copy !req
329. about what happened at my
daughter's birthday party.Copy !req
330. Landing in New Orleans
in 20 minutes.Copy !req
331. Thank you.Copy !req
332. Just so you know,Copy !req
333. I'm not comfortable with this.Copy !req
334. C.J. wanted to call
you directly,Copy !req
335. but she got pulled
into a thing.Copy !req
336. On the plane.Copy !req
337. She's already had me
on the phone this morningCopy !req
338. She just can't make
every phone call herself.Copy !req
339. Anyway, she wants you
to help outRight.Copy !req
340. Instead of getting us
on the a U.N. ambassador?Copy !req
341. Not instead of,
just before.Copy !req
342. 27 Congressmen
signed this letterCopy !req
343. demanding the President
explain what happened.Copy !req
344. The story's all
over cable news.Copy !req
345. C.J.'s afraid
it's gonna drown outCopy !req
346. coverage of the China trip.Copy !req
347. She needs you to...Copy !req
348. She actually say
"put out the fire"?Copy !req
349. Tell me she said
"put out the fire."Copy !req
350. We're already buriedCopy !req
351. in calls
from all the usual suspectsCopy !req
352. plus Entertainment Tonight,
Access Hollywood,Copy !req
353. Daily Variety,
Hollywood Reporter,Copy !req
354. Magicians' Monthly...Copy !req
355. Why don't you track
down Penn and TellerCopy !req
356. and get them
on the phone with me.Copy !req
357. Them? Teller doesn't speak.Copy !req
358. Penn told me
That's justTeller doesn't speak.Copy !req
359. They'll be herebefore
You've talkin a couple of hours.Copy !req
360. Sounded pretty cooperative
on the phone.Copy !req
361. Okay, who are we kidding?Copy !req
362. You don't need me
on this thing.Copy !req
363. Hey, just wanted
to give you a heads-upCopy !req
364. on the Vice President's
statementCopy !req
365. about the flag burning.Copy !req
366. He wants to get it out
this afternoon.Copy !req
367. "When I was in Congress,
I led the fightCopy !req
368. "for a Constitutional Amendment
to ban flag burning.Copy !req
369. "This obscene stunt
once again points outCopy !req
370. the urgent need
for a Constitutional..."Copy !req
371. Can the guy open his
mouth without pandering?Copy !req
372. Let me know when Penn
and Teller show up.Copy !req
373. You've got to understand
my position...Copy !req
374. Donna, where's the OMB
report on the HHS budget?Copy !req
375. Where the OMB reports
always are:Copy !req
376. in the stack
beside the thing.Copy !req
377. Right.Copy !req
378. Oh, and the, uh...
supplements?Copy !req
379. They're in the supplementary
stack beside the other thing.Copy !req
380. Got 'em.Copy !req
381. Okay, I'm done helping you
ignore Will.Copy !req
382. So, how would you suggest
the Vice PresidentCopy !req
383. handle a flag burning
in the White House?Copy !req
384. What would you tell him to do?Copy !req
385. I would tell him to shut up!Copy !req
386. I would tell him to show
a little loyaltyCopy !req
387. to the President
and his family.Copy !req
388. But then I'd have
to explain to himCopy !req
389. what loyalty is,
wouldn't I?Copy !req
390. Do you have time
to do that now?Copy !req
391. He shook a few too many hands
in New Orleans,Copy !req
392. but the pilot says
we can make upCopy !req
393. Yes, China is definitelyme
dumping shrimp in the U.S.Copy !req
394. at below-cost prices,
but so is Vietnam.Copy !req
395. So, if we threaten to bring
a WTO case against China,Copy !req
396. then we have to threaten
Vietnam, too.Copy !req
397. And, obviously, the U.S.
threatening VietnamCopy !req
398. could wake up a lot
of sleeping dogs.Copy !req
399. How much of our shrimp
comes from China and Vietnam?Copy !req
400. 25 percent.Copy !req
401. There's no way that
our domestic industryCopy !req
402. could replace that
much of the supply.Copy !req
403. And it would only make
it easier for BrazilCopy !req
404. to increase
their market share.Copy !req
405. But I just told those guys
in New OrleansCopy !req
406. that I would do something.Copy !req
407. You'll raise the issue
with the Chinese.Copy !req
408. You know, Teddy, no one
outside of the State DepartmentCopy !req
409. thinks that
raising the issueCopy !req
410. and doi I was a cosponsor
are of the flag burningCopy !req
411. amendment every time we brought
it to a vote in the House.Copy !req
412. Big difference between
being a CongressmanCopy !req
413. I know, but I've got a lot
of history with this subject. ntCopy !req
414. that voters didn't
know much about me, howedCopy !req
415. but the one thing
that they did knowCopy !req
416. was that Bob Russell was
against flag burning.Copy !req
417. That's in one Congressional
district in Colorado.Copy !req
418. Now you have to define
yourself nationally.Copy !req
419. Do you really want to
start with flag burning?Copy !req
420. I gotta say something.Copy !req
421. China summit is
It's the stthe story of the day!Copy !req
422. about U.S. relations with theave
biggest country in the world,Copy !req
423. why are you running
for president?Copy !req
424. Voters understand loyalty.Copy !req
425. They're not expecting you
to take a shot at the PresidentCopy !req
426. on something that happened at
his daughter's birthday party.Copy !req
427. Eric Baker is going
to New Hampshire todayCopy !req
428. You know the press is
tgonna ask him about this.Copy !req
429. If Baker makes a statement
about this...Copy !req
430. He needs to move to
If? Bakthe right on something.Copy !req
431. This is perfect for him.Copy !req
432. You think that helps
So what? either one of youCopy !req
433. get the Democratic
nomination?Copy !req
434. to think about where I
gotta be in the general.Copy !req
435. Mr. Vice President, have
you seen Baker's numbers?Copy !req
436. That's why I can't miss
any opportunity,Copy !req
437. like this flag thing.Copy !req
438. Baker's at 32, you're at 19,Copy !req
439. Hoynes and everyone else
are in single digits.Copy !req
440. You're not gonna catch up
to Baker with flag burning.Copy !req
441. Baker's just a governor.Copy !req
442. He's got to jump
at every issueCopy !req
443. to get coverage outside
of Pennsylvania.Copy !req
444. You're Vice President
of the United States.Copy !req
445. You can't go chasingCopy !req
446. every little controversy
that comes along.Copy !req
447. You can't let Baker
dictate your agenda.Copy !req
448. You pick your spots carefully,Copy !req
449. every speech you give would be
treated as breaking news on CNN.Copy !req
450. I need you to pick
those spots for me.Copy !req
451. Will here's been
telling me for awhileCopy !req
452. that you're the guy
to run this campaign.Copy !req
453. They're ready for you now.Copy !req
454. He's not stupid.Copy !req
455. That your bumper sticker?Copy !req
456. He was smart enough
to take your advice.Copy !req
457. That was a setup.Copy !req
458. He really did want
to put out that statement. asn'Copy !req
459. I couldn't
talk him out of it.Copy !req
460. it seemed like the perfect time
to put you two together.Copy !req
461. This is a write-your-own-ticket
offer.Copy !req
462. You'd have complete control.Copy !req
463. I've never done
a national campaign. un itCopy !req
464. It wouldn't be fair to him.Copy !req
465. Baker's gonna chew
him up in the debates.Copy !req
466. Even Hoynes'll run rings
around him on the issues.Copy !req
467. Sure, Baker's gonna be
the front-runner,Copy !req
468. with enough money to hang
in there against Baker.Copy !req
469. What about Hoynes?Copy !req
470. Damaged goods.Copy !req
471. Right. And Baker's not gonna
play well in the South.Copy !req
472. I heard Hoynes
made you an offer.Copy !req
473. Has Baker called you?Copy !req
474. Bruno runs Baker's campaigns.Copy !req
475. Bob Russell might be the next
President of the United States.Copy !req
476. You get in now,
you can make himCopy !req
477. After that, we make him the
President we need him to be.Copy !req
478. Where's Vinick's office?Copy !req
479. Dirksen 464.
Thanks.Copy !req
480. Got Penn and Teller's
statement.Copy !req
481. You're not
Let's see. gonna love it.Copy !req
482. So, how about a few minutesCopy !req
483. after you get back
from the Vinick meeting?Copy !req
484. For what?
For me.Copy !req
485. For that talk we were
gonna have about...Copy !req
486. "The Supreme Court has ruledCopy !req
487. "that we can do whatever
we want with the flag,Copy !req
488. and the Founding Fathers
obviously intended..."Copy !req
489. Are they still here?Copy !req
490. Juggling identical objects,
identical weights,Copy !req
491. is pretty easy with about,
you know, about five
years practice,Copy !req
492. but juggling different weights,
different shapes,Copy !req
493. stuff you've just picked off
people's desks,Copy !req
494. stuff you couldn't possibly
have practiced with,Copy !req
495. that's when it gets
a little bit tricky.Copy !req
496. That's amazing!
Thanks a lot.Copy !req
497. This statement does me
absolutely no good.Copy !req
498. I need you guysCopy !req
499. to give me a statement
saying exactlyCopy !req
500. what you did last night—Copy !req
501. preferably that you did not
burna flag.Copy !req
502. And if you did
actually burn a flag,Copy !req
503. I need you to admit it,
and emphasizeCopy !req
504. that you did not clear your act
with anyone in the White HouseCopy !req
505. and had you done so,
beforeyou now realizeCopy !req
506. you would have been
explicitly forbiddenCopy !req
507. to burn a flag in
the White House,Copy !req
508. and you now deeply regret
the controversyCopy !req
509. you have provoked and apologize
to the President and his familyCopy !req
510. for treating his home
with such disrespect.Copy !req
511. Hi, I'm Penn Jillette.Copy !req
512. This is Teller.Copy !req
513. Hi. Josh Lyman.Copy !req
514. How you doing?Copy !req
515. Doesn't talk like Harpo Marx
He dor really doesn't talk?Copy !req
516. What's the difference?Copy !req
517. Okay, how did you doCopy !req
518. We're not going
to tell you that. the flag trickCopy !req
519. Fine. So if Annabeth
goes out there and saysCopy !req
520. that you did not burn a flag
last night,Copy !req
521. no one can refute that.Copy !req
522. Except the hundred people
who saw them burn a flagCopy !req
523. You tell me, Charlie, hink that's
did we burn a flag, at they saw.Copy !req
524. or did we just vanish a flagCopy !req
525. in a patriotic flash
of fireworks?Copy !req
526. Don't know.Copy !req
527. What's the difference?Copy !req
528. There's a big difference
politically.Copy !req
529. I mean, what if we burned
a flag, not in protest,Copy !req
530. but in celebration
of the very freedomsCopy !req
531. that allow us
to burn a flag,Copy !req
532. the freedoms that everyoneCopy !req
533. who has ever worked in
this magnificent buildingCopy !req
534. has pledged to preserve
and protect?Copy !req
535. Did you go to law school?Copy !req
536. No. Clown school.Copy !req
537. Let's find a compromise
on shrimpCopy !req
538. that I can ask the Chinese
to offer VietnamCopy !req
539. without our fingerprints
on it.Copy !req
540. Something that nudges
both of them closerCopy !req
541. Okay, everyone, the President
to has a phone call to make.Copy !req
542. What was all that about?Copy !req
543. You okay?
I'm fine.Copy !req
544. You're not eating.Copy !req
545. I'm not that hungry.Copy !req
546. You said you were hungry
when you were ordering.Copy !req
547. Don't worry, I'll eat.Copy !req
548. But thanks for getting
rid of them.Copy !req
549. 16 more hours of that
would be a bit much.Copy !req
550. I don't need to talk shop
Send Milwith her. uld you?Copy !req
551. Yes, sir.Copy !req
552. The Senator will
see you now.Copy !req
553. Mr. Chairman.Copy !req
554. Shine your own shoes, Josh?Copy !req
555. No, I can't say that I do.Copy !req
556. My father used to say
you can't trust a manCopy !req
557. who doesn't shine
his own shoes.Copy !req
558. Does anybody shine those things?Copy !req
559. Not really, no.Copy !req
560. How many guys left in this town
shine their own shoes?Copy !req
561. Not a lot.Copy !req
562. None.Copy !req
563. Is that how many you trust?Copy !req
564. That's exactly how many I trust.Copy !req
565. Mr. Chairman, the President...
I know what you're thinking:Copy !req
566. must be lonely being
this mean old guyCopy !req
567. who doesn't trust anyone.Copy !req
568. Well, I trust my brother,
my four children,Copy !req
569. my nine grandchildren,Copy !req
570. and my dog.Copy !req
571. I suspect that's more
than you trust, now, isn't it?Copy !req
572. Yeah.Copy !req
573. The Founding Fathers
didn't set upCopy !req
574. a government based on trust.Copy !req
575. They could've designed
a government based on trustCopy !req
576. in our ability to govern fairly,Copy !req
577. but they knew that
power corrupts,Copy !req
578. so they invented checks
and balances.Copy !req
579. That was genius.Copy !req
580. The Founding Fathers did not
want me to trust you,Copy !req
581. and they did not want you
to trust me.Copy !req
582. Well, they must be
very proud of us.Copy !req
583. We're still negotiating
Christmas.Copy !req
584. Tommy wants to go on an
archeological digCopy !req
585. with some heathen
professor of his,Copy !req
586. and Cleo's doing Christmas
with her dad this year.Copy !req
587. Then you're doing Christmas with
your goddaughter and her family.Copy !req
588. I can't afford
another Bartlet ChristmasCopy !req
589. on this government salary.Copy !req
590. Way too many presents.Copy !req
591. Milly, I can't
move my hands.Copy !req
592. Ever happen before?Copy !req
593. It's usually
one or the other.Copy !req
594. Never both.Copy !req
595. No.Copy !req
596. You feel that?Copy !req
597. No.Copy !req
598. Anything?Copy !req
599. No.Copy !req
600. You want me to bring in
the flight doctor?Copy !req
601. Not unless it gets worse.Copy !req
602. Well, I guess
I'm going to haveCopy !req
603. to feed you then,
aren't I?Copy !req
604. Every White House forgets
about checks and balances.Copy !req
605. You guys are no different.Copy !req
606. Checks are fine,Copy !req
607. I got a problem with.
You need cordovan for those.Copy !req
608. You're not leaving this room
with shoes like that. Brush.Copy !req
609. Here's another check
you won't like:Copy !req
610. I'm going to hold another
hearing on your man Margudian.Copy !req
611. Taking a Marine helicopter
to play golf in Florida.Copy !req
612. Come on, that was over
a year ago— we fired the guy.Copy !req
613. No, this was another incident
a year before that one.Copy !req
614. You really think the American
people care about this?Copy !req
615. But I got a dozen members
of my committee who do.Copy !req
616. Or think it's a good
way to get on TV.Copy !req
617. You think I like investigating
high school stuff like this?Copy !req
618. Fooled me.Copy !req
619. I was going to be the best
Hinvestigator in the Senate?Copy !req
620. Of course not.Copy !req
621. This isn't what
I came here to do.Copy !req
622. I'm here to make this a better
government,Copy !req
623. And I just wish you guys would
to makestop serving upcounCopy !req
624. thesWe've runhings
a pretty tight ship lately.Copy !req
625. Which is why they had
to reach back a couple of yearsCopy !req
626. to find something new
to yell about.Copy !req
627. But just do me a big
favor, will ya?Copy !req
628. No more flag burnings
in the White House.Copy !req
629. I've had four nuts demand
hearings on that one already.Copy !req
630. So?Copy !req
631. So, I told them that
the United States SenateCopy !req
632. does not investigate
what happensCopy !req
633. at kids' birthday parties.Copy !req
634. Not as long as I have anything
to say about it.Copy !req
635. Have you decided if you're going
to run for another term?Copy !req
636. Yep.Copy !req
637. Flying home tonight,Copy !req
638. making my announcement tomorrow.Copy !req
639. Why? You want to make me
a retirement offer?Copy !req
640. Yeah, I happen
to have one on me.Copy !req
641. What have you got?Copy !req
642. Help the President
make the world a better place.Copy !req
643. U.N.Copy !req
644. That's tempting.Copy !req
645. That's very tempting.Copy !req
646. But that's not the job I want.Copy !req
647. Well, the President
didn't send meCopy !req
648. with a menu of jobs,
just this one.Copy !req
649. The President can't give me
the job I want.Copy !req
650. Which one?Copy !req
651. His.Copy !req
652. You're running?Copy !req
653. Starting tomorrow.Copy !req
654. You missed a spot on the heel.Copy !req
655. The only thing to do
is let him rest.Copy !req
656. He could feel fine by the time
he gets off the plane.Copy !req
657. Or he could get worse.Copy !req
658. Well, if this is
as bad as it gets,Copy !req
659. no one will notice a thing.Copy !req
660. Except when he has
to shake hands.Copy !req
661. Which he's going to have
to do about 200 timesCopy !req
662. Be good to keep
the hand-shaking to a minimum.Copy !req
663. You know how many weeks
We shouldthe protocol officers
the firstspent on that one?Copy !req
664. The public events are
the only ones the Chinese
really care about.Copy !req
665. can't publicly shake hands
with another head of state...Copy !req
666. It'd sure kill
the flag-burning story.Copy !req
667. Could we get Abbey on the phone?Copy !req
668. Yeah.Copy !req
669. Who else should we call?Copy !req
670. Well, this is the equivalent
of a headache.Copy !req
671. I mean, who would you want us
to callCopy !req
672. if you had a headache?Copy !req
673. Okay, let's just keep this
on the plane for now.Copy !req
674. Thought you'd be long gone.Copy !req
675. More junk here
than I thought.Copy !req
676. Shouldn't you still be,
you know, taking it easy.Copy !req
677. I think a two hour nap qualifies
as taking it easy.Copy !req
678. Did you hook Vinick?
Not exactly.Copy !req
679. He's going to run
for another term.Copy !req
680. I don't know much
about heart stuff,Copy !req
681. but aren't you supposed to...
I-I-I... maybe we shouldn't...Copy !req
682. Don't worry, you're not going
to shock me into my grave.Copy !req
683. He's running for President.Copy !req
684. He announces tomorrow.Copy !req
685. President?Copy !req
686. I don't see how
he gets the nomination.Copy !req
687. I mean,
what's he going to run on,Copy !req
688. tax cuts and more tax cuts?Copy !req
689. Every Republican candidate
will be for tax cuts.Copy !req
690. Then what?
Flip-flop on abortion?Copy !req
691. He's against
late-term abortion.Copy !req
692. ThHe's got a lot of California
for themoney behind him.Copy !req
693. Even if he raises
twice as...Copy !req
694. Sorry, but Eric Baker's live
on MSNBC right now.Copy !req
695. Says he's not running.Copy !req
696. And so, I have decidedCopy !req
697. for family reasons
that this is not that time.Copy !req
698. This is the time that I can
keep my commitmentCopy !req
699. to the people of Pennsylvania
to be a full-time governorCopy !req
700. and the commitment to my family
to be a full-time father.Copy !req
701. Family reasons?Copy !req
702. Well, I never decided to get
into the presidential race,
Unbelievable.Copy !req
703. so I can't see how you can say
I dropped out of it.Copy !req
704. You're never going to get
luckier than this. We gCopy !req
705. I expect to stay neutral
in the Democratic primaries.Copy !req
706. C.J.:
Milly says you should use
the flight to rest.Copy !req
707. No moreWe're not going to
interrupt you for anything.Copy !req
708. Baker's not running?
Toby...Copy !req
709. It looks like
our very own Bob RussellCopy !req
710. is the new front-runner for
the Democratic nomination.Copy !req
711. Mr. President, this is exactly
what we're not going to do.Copy !req
712. You need to rest, so we're not
going to bring you anythingCopy !req
713. you don't need to know
immediately.Copy !req
714. But we mean real rest,
not studying briefing books.Copy !req
715. Are you going to watch me rest?Copy !req
716. If I have to.Copy !req
717. Get out of here.Copy !req
718. Family reasons.Copy !req
719. Go figure.Copy !req
720. He's close to Vinick,
you know.Copy !req
721. Yeah. Baker was on the
No, Judiciary Committee staffCopy !req
722. back when Vinick was
a freshman senator.Copy !req
723. They've been tight ever since.Copy !req
724. So what? Since when have you
seen friendshipCopy !req
725. trump ambition in politics?Copy !req
726. the Democratic nomination'sCopy !req
727. not worth winning this time,Copy !req
728. if he has to go against
Vinick in the general.Copy !req
729. But there's no way Vinick's
getting the nomination.Copy !req
730. He's not conservative enough.Copy !req
731. Baker's not sitting this
out for family reasons.Copy !req
732. Could be Vinick,
could be something else.Copy !req
733. Who's our front-runner
with Baker out?Copy !req
734. Run a poll without Baker in itCopy !req
735. and Russell's going
to go sky high.Copy !req
736. Hoynes will pop, too.Copy !req
737. Russell or Hoynes gets
our nomination.Copy !req
738. Who gets the Republican
nomination?Copy !req
739. They've been out of power
for eight yearswideCopy !req
740. Probably why Vinick
figures he has a shot.Copy !req
741. You're serious?Copy !req
742. Ever see Arnie Vinick
campaign, up close?Copy !req
743. He'll go into those
high school gymnasiumsCopy !req
744. in Iowa and New Hampshire
and blow them all away.Copy !req
745. Shake every hand in the joint,
kiss every baby,Copy !req
746. hug every widow
on Social Security,Copy !req
747. and sound smarter and more
honest than any RepublicanCopy !req
748. they've ever seen—
because he is.Copy !req
749. He could win in
the early states,Copy !req
750. go into the South with
some momentum,Copy !req
751. then...Copy !req
752. who knows what happens?Copy !req
753. Republican who wins California
wipes us outCopy !req
754. in the Electoral College.Copy !req
755. Right.Copy !req
756. He's not getting the nomination.Copy !req
757. we've got no one
who can beat him.
If he doCopy !req
758. where my career
in public service began—Copy !req
759. right here at City Hall—
to announce my candidacyCopy !req
760. to be the next President
of the United States.Copy !req
761. And I ask you...Copy !req
762. I ask all of you who have
been with me from the beginningCopy !req
763. to set out with me today from
this valley on this new quest,Copy !req
764. to help me bring the promiseCopy !req
765. and the opportunity of America
to all Americans.Copy !req
766. Senator Vinick, do you think
you're conservative enoughCopy !req
767. to get the Republican
nomination?Copy !req
768. I think I'm Republican enough.Copy !req
769. Been a lifelong Republican,Copy !req
770. always been loyal to the party,
always will.Copy !req
771. Do you think
President Bartlet shouldCopy !req
772. investigate whether a flag
was burned in the White House?Copy !req
773. No.Copy !req
774. I accept
the President's statementCopy !req
775. I don't think we need
tto hear any more about it.Copy !req
776. But don't the peopleCopy !req
777. Are you watching?Copy !req
778. The people have a right
to know the President's positionCopy !req
779. on the issues,
but they don't haveCopy !req
780. the right to know what happensCopy !req
781. But if they burnedhter's
a flag in the... parCopy !req
782. Hey, I think this is
a perfect demonstrationCopy !req
783. of what the President is
flying halfway around the worldCopy !req
784. right now to try to teach
the Chinese government—Copy !req
785. the meaning of freedom.Copy !req
786. It's a good thing
the magiciansCopy !req
787. didn't try this trick
in Tianamen SquareCopy !req
788. with a Chinese flag wrapped
in the Chinese Bill of RightsCopy !req
789. because there is
no Chinese Bill of Rights.Copy !req
790. Senator, Senator...Copy !req
791. Thank you.Copy !req
792. You have a year to talk me
out of voting for him.Copy !req
793. We've got a situation.Copy !req
794. What?Copy !req
795. South Korea.Copy !req
796. I thought you were
going to let me rest.Copy !req
797. State just got a heads-up
from the IAEA sorry,Copy !req
798. that the South Koreanng
government has admittedCopy !req
799. to conducting an experiment
to enrich uranium.Copy !req
800. South Korea is not
releasing any details.Copy !req
801. We need you to
get on the phoneCopy !req
802. and get the president
to come clean.Copy !req
803. We can't ask China
to help stopCopy !req
804. North Korean nuclear
experimentsCopy !req
805. if the South
is doing it, too.Copy !req
806. Get us a secure lineCopy !req
807. with the South Korean president.Copy !req
808. C.J.Copy !req
809. Hold it.Copy !req
810. Sir?Copy !req
811. I can't move.Copy !req
812. He had trouble with his hands,
Prnow it's both legsCopy !req
813. Fairbanks is closer, but
Anchorage is better for a 747.Copy !req
814. I've got better doctors up hereCopy !req
815. than I'd get down there.Copy !req
816. Let's not pretend we didn't know
takthis was going to happen.Copy !req
817. No, Mr. President,
I didn't know.Copy !req
818. it was going to
happen someday.Copy !req
819. I'm ready for it.Copy !req
820. You better be, too.Copy !req
821. Mr. President, we can't
land in China with...Copy !req
822. This plane is going to China.Copy !req
823. That's a direct order
from your Commander in Chief.Copy !req
824. Okay, we're going to need to
clear the room for some tests.Copy !req
825. Got some new numbers.Copy !req
826. Tracking poll has
us up 16 pointsCopy !req
827. with Baker out
of the race.Copy !req
828. Hoynes is up, too.Copy !req
829. Yeah, but we picked up
a lot more.Copy !req
830. Russell's the man
to beat now.Copy !req
831. Yeah.Copy !req
832. Listen, we have
a breakfast tomorrowCopy !req
833. with senior
campaign staff.Copy !req
834. Why don't you drop by?Copy !req
835. Doesn't commit
you to anything.Copy !req
836. You can just be a fly on
the wall, if you want.Copy !req
837. See how it feels.Copy !req
838. No, thanks.Copy !req
839. This isn't a
Broadway show, Josh.Copy !req
840. We don't just
close it downCopy !req
841. after a successful
eight-year run.Copy !req
842. You have to care who's going
to sit in that chairCopy !req
843. I do. That's why I don't want
Bob Russell to be President.Copy !req
844. the doctors will talk
some sense into himCopy !req
845. and get this plane
turned around.Copy !req
846. and that's the end
of his presidency. Around,Copy !req
847. We'd be saying
he can't do the job anymore.Copy !req
848. we'll go back to Chinabe
as soon as he's up to it.Copy !req
849. We might as well
just say,Copy !req
850. "He's a part-time president.Copy !req
851. He can only do the job
when he feels up to it!"Copy !req
852. he's going to let you
turn this plane around?Copy !req
853. If we cancel, the Chinese
might not believe us.Copy !req
854. They'll think we're canceling
because the South KoreansCopy !req
855. got caught
working on nuclear weapons.Copy !req
856. We gotta do
full disclosure on this.Copy !req
857. Milly should do a full briefing
with the press—Copy !req
858. all the medical facts—
right here on this plane.Copy !req
859. Just as soon as we know what...Copy !req
860. He knew.Copy !req
861. That's why the Surgeon General
is on the flight.Copy !req
862. He wanted her here
to do the briefing.Copy !req
863. He knew he was having problems,
he knew this might happen.Copy !req
864. We're three hours from Beijing.Copy !req
865. If we turn around, we're
going to have to refuel.Copy !req
866. Maybe we shouldCopy !req
867. let the cockpit start checking
their options.Copy !req
868. Yeah, okay.Copy !req
869. He wants to see you.Copy !req
870. All of you.Copy !req
871. Not there—
in the office.Copy !req
872. I just got off the phone
with President WangCopy !req
873. Said it was just a couple
of curious young scientistsCopy !req
874. and they only enriched about
two-tenths of a gram of uranium.Copy !req
875. That's not nearly enough for
weapons grade enrichment,Copy !req
876. is it?Copy !req
877. Uh, no, it's not, sir.Copy !req
878. at least 90 percent
Weaponhigher than that.e to beCopy !req
879. Wang says
they're cooperating fullyCopy !req
880. with the IAEA inspectors,Copy !req
881. and he's ordered
these young scientistsCopy !req
882. to participate
in a joint press conferenceCopy !req
883. with the inspectors tomorrow,Copy !req
884. That's not going to make
North Korea feel much better.Copy !req
885. I know, but it's a start.Copy !req
886. C.J., we've got to set up
a quickCopy !req
887. press briefing
for the gangCopy !req
888. in the back of the plane
right away.Copy !req
889. Mr. President,
are you, um...Copy !req
890. My left hand is back.Copy !req
891. I still have no feeling
in my legsCopy !req
892. and my right arm is in no shape
to be shaking hands in China.Copy !req
893. Gotta remember to tell
the protocol officer that.Copy !req
894. Are you in pain?Copy !req
895. I'm finas I don't attempt
any superhuman featCopy !req
896. like, say, writing my name.Copy !req
897. Okay, let's get started.Copy !req
898. Think anyone's gonna ask about
that flag-burning thing now?Copy !req
899. All right, look,
when we get out there,Copy !req
900. I'll lead off with the MS thing,Copy !req
901. I'll leave it to you, Milly,
to get into any medical detailsCopy !req
902. if anyone has
any questions about that.Copy !req
903. C.J.:
Oh, I think
they might haveCopy !req
904. a few hundred.Copy !req
905. that the President
I'm of the United StatesCopy !req
906. will be working from
a wheelchair again.Copy !req
907. C.J.:
Again?Copy !req
908. F.D.R.Copy !req
909. Do I really haveCopy !req
910. to remind those kids
that RooseveltCopy !req
911. fought World War II
from a wheelchair?Copy !req
912. Yeah, but...Copy !req
913. But he died in office.Copy !req
914. Okay, I'll skip
the Roosevelt bit.Copy !req
915. Bring that thing over here,
would you?Copy !req
916. I can get them to ask me
a question about South Korea?Copy !req
917. How much you got?Copy !req
918. but the President has
an announcement to make.Copy !req
919. No.
I'll take it from here.Copy !req