1. Previously on The West Wing:Copy !req
2. This morning's finance report,
8.2 million cash in hand.Copy !req
3. - Ought to buy a few lawn signs.
- And lawns.Copy !req
4. I'm just confused about who the viable
candidate is when Russell's gone.Copy !req
5. I'm gonna win this thing, Toby.Copy !req
6. Get into camo gear,
sling a 12-gauge over your shoulder . . .Copy !req
7. - . . . get a few photos for the AP.
- With a gun?Copy !req
8. You were a Marine.
You can shoot, right?Copy !req
9. Yeah, a 20 mm chain gun,
but it might be hard on the pheasant.Copy !req
10. Don't you actually wanna get
some votes in one of these states?Copy !req
11. When's the last time a politician
answered a question he didn't like?Copy !req
12. - You saying the debate shouldn't matter?
- I'm saying it should be better.Copy !req
13. Look, we're practically teaching
media evasion in kindergarten now.Copy !req
14. "Teacher, the issue isn't whether I
pinched Dorothy during milk and cookies.Copy !req
15. The American people are more concerned
with new nap mats . . .Copy !req
16. . . . and I got a six-point plan. "Copy !req
17. Politicians turn them
into pumpkin-judging contests.Copy !req
18. Oh, yeah. Sometimes, sure.Copy !req
19. But it's also the rules of the game.Copy !req
20. Look, we've got one more debate
before this New Hampshire primary.Copy !req
21. Do we really want
another joint photo op . . .Copy !req
22. . . . another 90-second sound bite
followed by a 60-second sound bite?Copy !req
23. A beauty pageant without beauty?Copy !req
24. I think you're beautiful.Copy !req
25. Maybe I'm working against myself,
but the Dover Herald . . .Copy !req
26. . . . they're announcing their debate
rules. I've been banging on them.Copy !req
27. Let's make it a real debate.Copy !req
28. A debate where all seven Democrats
get to cross-examine each other.Copy !req
29. Where we get to answer questions,
like it or not.Copy !req
30. Politicians never answer questions
they don't like.Copy !req
31. So we hook ourselves up to electrodes.
Crossfire meets Clockwork Orange.Copy !req
32. I don't understand the wooden eggs.Copy !req
33. Politics and Eggs,
that's the name of the forum.Copy !req
34. - You ever tried signing a wooden egg?
- Granite State tradition.Copy !req
35. - Like the actual voting. Your speech?
- What about wooden slices of toast?Copy !req
36. - You get traction with your pen.
- You're doing a modified stump.Copy !req
37. We beefed up the foreign policy
because of these Pakistani nuclear sales.Copy !req
38. - Sound bite's in bold.
- Fine.Copy !req
39. Then you can sign
wooden nuclear reactors.Copy !req
40. I think I should open
with the VP seal joke. Donna?Copy !req
41. It's a hilarious joke that's been
hilarious 147 times, sir.Copy !req
42. They're almost done
with your introduction, sir.Copy !req
43. Okay. I'm gonna open
with the VP seal joke.Copy !req
44. Pound the foreign policy,
you can tell knock-knock jokes.Copy !req
45. Our guest at this morning's Politics
and Eggs, Vice President Bob Russell.Copy !req
46. Thank you, gentlemen. In case
the kitchen staff is wondering . . .Copy !req
47. . . .I like my wooden eggs
sawed in half and scrambled.Copy !req
48. - It is a great pleasure . . . .
- They announced rules for the debate.Copy !req
49. Don't tell me they're doing
this Santos nonsense.Copy !req
50. - Thumb wrestling if you misuse a stat.
- No, pretty thumb-free.Copy !req
51. —the vice president, and I will tell you
what I like best about that seal.Copy !req
52. If you close your left eye and squint
really hard and tilt your head just so . . .Copy !req
53. . . .it reads a lot like
"president of the United States. "Copy !req
54. Trade launch codes
for a seltzer bottle.Copy !req
55. - Vaudeville.
- This is important.Copy !req
56. They're putting the vice president
on-stage with six also-rans.Copy !req
57. - Believe me, this debate isn't important.
- See, that's the thing.Copy !req
58. Every year health-care reform
has been on the national agenda.Copy !req
59. Whether we've passed it or not . . .Copy !req
60. . . . private insurers have kept
their premium increases down.Copy !req
61. So, yeah, it ought to be
part of the debate.Copy !req
62. - Thanks.
- Thank you.Copy !req
63. Any news on this Pakistani
nuclear sale to Nigeria?Copy !req
64. - Pakistan's trying to backpedal.
- We ought to put out some statement.Copy !req
65. No one's asking, but sure.Copy !req
66. We need to lead toward a world that's
free, prosperous and also nuclear-free.Copy !req
67. - That's good.
- Second set starts at 9.Copy !req
68. I have some bad news.Copy !req
69. - How bad?
- Bad.Copy !req
70. The Herald decided to use
old debate rules.Copy !req
71. Russell and Hoynes made
a huge media buy out of Boston.Copy !req
72. Close to 1800
gross ratings points each.Copy !req
73. - Eighteen hundred points?
- It's an ad war.Copy !req
74. An ad apocalypse. I don't know
where they're getting the money . . .Copy !req
75. - . . . but we don't have it.
- We ought to ban ads altogether.Copy !req
76. Screw the First Amendment.Copy !req
77. Well, constitutionality aside,
New Hampshire votes in five days.Copy !req
78. The airwaves are gonna be Russell,
Hoynes and reruns of I Love Lucy.Copy !req
79. We need to change the dynamic,
or we're finished.Copy !req
80. - We need a silver bullet.
- A silver bullet?Copy !req
81. An ad that'll vault us out of the second
tier, turn this campaign on its head.Copy !req
82. - Go deeper into debt.
- No.Copy !req
83. But we can scrape together enough
to buy one minute of prime time.Copy !req
84. One minute against 1800 points?Copy !req
85. One minute that is so gutsy . . .Copy !req
86. . . .so edgy, so different . . .Copy !req
87. . . . that it'll be replayed for free
on every newscast.Copy !req
88. - What's the ad?
- Working on it.Copy !req
89. You go on and buy that airtime.Copy !req
90. Hi. Matt Santos.Copy !req
91. - I'm running for president.
- Hi.Copy !req
92. Anything on the debate rules?Copy !req
93. No interaction, no cross-examination.
It's everything we didn't want.Copy !req
94. - But—
- Debate's gonna be a wash.Copy !req
95. No one's gonna watch. It's—Copy !req
96. Everyone's calling it
The Return of the Seven Dwarves.Copy !req
97. - Two dwarves.
- Seven. The one with the big nose.Copy !req
98. - Gave me nightmares.
- Only Hoynes and Russell.Copy !req
99. They limited it to candidates
polling 20 percent.Copy !req
100. The Herald says
they're the only ones that could win.Copy !req
101. You guys are already working
on that silver bullet, huh?Copy !req
102. If only frontrunners can debate . . .Copy !req
103. . . . why not bar the rest of us
from the ballot altogether?Copy !req
104. If New Hampshire has suddenly
become the Soviet Republic . . .Copy !req
105. - . . . go all the way.
- We're gonna get in this.Copy !req
106. They can't shut two-thirds
of the field out of a debate.Copy !req
107. Oh, come on.
Don't even call it a debate.Copy !req
108. What do voters learn from
90 seconds of canned blather . . .Copy !req
109. . . . followed by 60 seconds of blather?Copy !req
110. Timing, I suppose.Copy !req
111. Look, there's a serious legal argument
to be made here.Copy !req
112. This could be seen as an illegal
contribution to both Hoynes and Russell.Copy !req
113. I know the case law.Copy !req
114. We get a team of election lawyers,
we storm the district court.Copy !req
115. I don't wanna sue my way into this.Copy !req
116. Shame the Herald,
kick up a huge cloud of dust.Copy !req
117. - Maybe the court stops the debate.
- I don't wanna stop it, I wanna get in it.Copy !req
118. The publisher won't meet with us.Copy !req
119. I couldn't get past the copy desk.Copy !req
120. Do you think the vice president
really wants to go . . .Copy !req
121. - . . . mano a mano with John Hoynes?
- No.Copy !req
122. Why elevate the number-two mano
in a crowded field?Copy !req
123. Maybe Russell will meet
the publisher with us.Copy !req
124. Demand a full and fair debate.Copy !req
125. Get Will Bailey on the phone.Copy !req
126. And call that postproduction shop
in Nashua.Copy !req
127. We need them open late.Copy !req
128. We're gonna make a TV ad.Copy !req
129. I got a letter from an 8-year-old girl
in Portsmouth who said, and I quote:Copy !req
130. "You are the greatest
vice president of my time. "Copy !req
131. Now, I'm not making this up.Copy !req
132. Thanks for your time, folks.Copy !req
133. - Have a good day.
- Thank you.Copy !req
134. A two-man debate?Copy !req
135. I told you the Herald was for Hoynes.Copy !req
136. They'll be denouncing me for not
giving him flier miles on Air Force Two.Copy !req
137. - Josh Lyman just called.
- He can have your job.Copy !req
138. Today, I think he'd take it.Copy !req
139. As long as he fakes my signature
on 300 wooden eggs.Copy !req
140. Santos wants you to go to the Herald,
say if all candidates aren't invited . . .Copy !req
141. . . .you'll stay home
and scramble those eggs alone.Copy !req
142. I can't look like I'm ducking Hoynes.Copy !req
143. Stand with Santos, Hoynes looks
like he's ducking the field.Copy !req
144. What about his debate rules?Copy !req
145. We want the seven dwarves to
be able to take direct shots at me?Copy !req
146. You realize you're one of them.Copy !req
147. - There are seven candidates.
- There must have been a head dwarf.Copy !req
148. That'd be Snow White.
Not what we're going for.Copy !req
149. Forget Santos' rules. He'll be grateful
just to get on that stage.Copy !req
150. The more dwarves we have up there . . .Copy !req
151. . . . the smaller John Hoynes
is gonna look.Copy !req
152. Will and I choreographed
this whole meeting.Copy !req
153. - Okay.
- Let Russell do the talking.Copy !req
154. Frontrunner. It should come from him.Copy !req
155. - Fine.
- You can bob your head appreciatively.Copy !req
156. I've been thinking about debate prep.
Hi.Copy !req
157. You were right.
We should bring in someone to help.Copy !req
158. - I'll make some calls.
- I've called already.Copy !req
159. - Who?
- Someone I know from the Hill.Copy !req
160. For performance stuff.
Eye-clicking, things like that.Copy !req
161. - Eye-clicking?
- Yeah, things like that.Copy !req
162. - Mr. Lowell.
- Congressman. Welcome to the Herald.Copy !req
163. - Mr. Vice President.
- Matt.Copy !req
164. You've come a long way
since House Administration.Copy !req
165. The vice president and I served
on the House Administration Committee.Copy !req
166. Siberia of committees.Copy !req
167. Non-binding resolutions
to limit non-binding resolutions.Copy !req
168. - That one was binding.
- Must have been some time ago.Copy !req
169. - Yeah, I think it was back in—
- Two years ago, actually.Copy !req
170. Well, I'll be frank.Copy !req
171. We're five days away from the primary,
two away from the debate.Copy !req
172. No offense,
you're not gonna be the nominee.Copy !req
173. How does it serve the voters
to clutter up the stage?Copy !req
174. I'm sure Fidel Castro would agree.Copy !req
175. Mackey, you're trying to do the right
thing, but it's downright undemocratic.Copy !req
176. My lawyers tell me that it could be
an illegal contribution to the campaigns.Copy !req
177. Without the full field,
I don't think I can participate.Copy !req
178. The people want another debate,
Mr. Vice President.Copy !req
179. I agree.
I was thinking of having my own.Copy !req
180. Invite the full field.Copy !req
181. - Who needs the Dover Herald?
- All seven Democrats.Copy !req
182. Right as rain, Mackey.Copy !req
183. We should also take a minute
to discuss format.Copy !req
184. These can be better, not just bigger.Copy !req
185. We saw what happened
in the New Jersey debates.Copy !req
186. Are we talking about the rules
you proposed?Copy !req
187. Don't we want this to be truly
democratic, with real back-and-forth?Copy !req
188. Each candidate has to answer
the questions . . .Copy !req
189. . . . not just another
seven-stump-speech collision.Copy !req
190. Well, I'm all for mixing it up,
but if we proposed a debate like that . . .Copy !req
191. - . . .no one would agree to it.
- What do you say, Mr. Vice President?Copy !req
192. A real debate, with all of the candidates
truly engaging on the issues.Copy !req
193. - Great.
- Terrific.Copy !req
194. I have to talk to my editorial board,
but I will take it to John Hoynes.Copy !req
195. - Matt.
- Mr. Vice President.Copy !req
196. Thank you very much, Mr. Lowell.Copy !req
197. Who do you think wanted to limit
non-binding resolutions?Copy !req
198. That did go a bit off plan.Copy !req
199. I won't be a punching bag
for Hoynes and Santos . . .Copy !req
200. . . . and every welterweight
who wants a quick tabloid hit.Copy !req
201. - I'll call Mackey and revisit the format.
- I threatened legal action.Copy !req
202. I'll say if they're using Santos' format,
we won't debate.Copy !req
203. You tell him we'll pay
for the debate ourselves.Copy !req
204. Me and Hoynes, Herald rules.Copy !req
205. And no one can say
it's an illegal contribution, anyway.Copy !req
206. Now, I didn't come here to be a guest
lecturer in Matt Santos' etiquette class.Copy !req
207. Yeah.Copy !req
208. Okay, so we're back
to a two-man debate. Thanks.Copy !req
209. You did push the rules business
a little hard.Copy !req
210. I don't know how anyone's helped by us
spewing out poll-tested pablum.Copy !req
211. We're not trying to help anyone,
we're trying to help you.Copy !req
212. Spoken like a true Athenian.Copy !req
213. So I guess we cancel
the debate prep, huh?Copy !req
214. No. Move ahead with it.Copy !req
215. - For a debate we're not even in.
- We have to get in.Copy !req
216. - I got two lawyers working on a brief.
- You're on this illegal contribution jag?Copy !req
217. Even if Russell paid,
he's still using the Herald's name . . .Copy !req
218. . . . getting a mountain of free media.
How is that not illegal?Copy !req
219. I am not taking this to court, Josh.Copy !req
220. We could try the Bob Russell thing.Copy !req
221. Get a bad haircut
and break ties in the Senate?Copy !req
222. - Hold our own debate.
- Me and my mirror.Copy !req
223. We rent the hall
across from the main debate.Copy !req
224. You personally invite
all the other candidates.Copy !req
225. We'd stir up the good-government
groups, editorial writers, local activists.Copy !req
226. Because the Dover Herald doesn't
decide who's a viable candidate . . .Copy !req
227. - . . . for the highest office.
- Frank Capra, eat your heart out.Copy !req
228. - Can we use my debate rules?
- You can use whatever rules you want.Copy !req
229. Just get ready to debate.Copy !req
230. We're gonna run this
in about 600 points.Copy !req
231. Very effective with swing-twos
in the mall test.Copy !req
232. I'm Bob Russell, and I approve this ad.Copy !req
233. In the United States Senate...Copy !req
234. John Hoynes had an 84 percent
NRA voting record.Copy !req
235. Now he claims he'll crack down
on handguns.Copy !req
236. As vice president, Hoynes praised...Copy !req
237. Pakistan's defense minister
as a bold thinker.Copy !req
238. So bold he may now be selling
nuclear secrets to Nigeria.Copy !req
239. You can't take America's side
by taking both sides.Copy !req
240. John Hoynes.
Whose side is he on?Copy !req
241. You sure we should run this?Copy !req
242. Wanna see his ad on your
Colorado mining connections again?Copy !req
243. Hello?Copy !req
244. Matt Santos, for the veep.Copy !req
245. He's tied up.Copy !req
246. I don't get why our ads are negative.Copy !req
247. I get it, but we're the frontrunner.
Do they have to be that negative?Copy !req
248. We need to work up some q & a
for the debate.Copy !req
249. Wanna grab dinner later?Copy !req
250. You're—? Are you asking me to dinner?Copy !req
251. - We've had dinner four nights in a row.
- You never asked. We just went.Copy !req
252. Who else am I gonna have dinner with?
Everyone else is 14 and irons their jeans.Copy !req
253. - Fine.
- Great.Copy !req
254. I need one-pagers on domestic policy
and NSC guidance on Pakistan.Copy !req
255. Thanks.Copy !req
256. So you wanna grab dinner later?Copy !req
257. Sure.Copy !req
258. Just set it up like a real debate. Seven
podiums, a table for the moderator.Copy !req
259. When we get to headquarters,
we'll draft a statement.Copy !req
260. - We'll miss debate prep.
- Santos is gonna work . . .Copy !req
261. - . . . with a guy I'm bringing in.
- Smart of you to widen the team.Copy !req
262. Thanks. What we're gonna do . . .Copy !req
263. . . .is start a massive
public-relations crusade.Copy !req
264. - Tonight?
- Do you have that list . . .Copy !req
265. - . . . of opinion makers?
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
266. We're gonna call
every political reporter in this state . . .Copy !req
267. . . . every party leader,
every PTA recording secretary.Copy !req
268. Tell them we're holding our own debate.
The Herald's debate is a sham.Copy !req
269. You really believe anyone's
gonna cover our debate?Copy !req
270. Ours is a Trojan debate.
Won't happen.Copy !req
271. We're gonna turn public opinion
so they let us in the main debate.Copy !req
272. - That'll work?
- if I wanted your opinion . . .Copy !req
273. . . .I would stick you
in a focus group in southern Missouri.Copy !req
274. - The ad.
- I don't understand that either.Copy !req
275. Hey, we're broke, okay?
We can't afford a huge, glitzy ad buy . . .Copy !req
276. . . .so we run something feisty, funny,
out of the box.Copy !req
277. Turns our one minute of prime time
into a national sensation.Copy !req
278. Santos on skates, wearing a goalie
outfit, pledging to defend America.Copy !req
279. - Closer to the box than that.
- Well, what's the message?Copy !req
280. How about our exclusion
from the debates? Let's try that.Copy !req
281. What do we do? Film chicken coops and
say they're too chicken to debate us?Copy !req
282. I want two volunteers.
I want them in giant chicken suits.Copy !req
283. In my office first thing in the morning.Copy !req
284. - Chicken suits.
- He's gonna like this?Copy !req
285. He's gonna like what keeps him in the
race. But let's not, you know, tell him.Copy !req
286. Feisty.Copy !req
287. Play around with the poultry theme.Copy !req
288. Hi.Copy !req
289. - Hi.
- Little cold for ice cream, isn't it?Copy !req
290. I mean, you could have
bought just cream.Copy !req
291. I embrace the cold.Copy !req
292. - Okay.
- I luxuriate in the cold.Copy !req
293. - Can I ask you—?
- I fight cold with more cold.Copy !req
294. - What are you doing here?
- I could ask the same . . .Copy !req
295. . . . but in your case,
it's more of an existential question.Copy !req
296. When I want dark, depressing thoughts
about alienation, I watch cable news.Copy !req
297. That's funny.Copy !req
298. - You're funny.
- Know what's funny?Copy !req
299. You didn't call me before you gave
that speech at the Shorenstein Center.Copy !req
300. I run the Women's Majority Fund.
I make hundreds of speeches.Copy !req
301. Trashing the entire Democratic field?Copy !req
302. Saying we're gonna lose
before we even have a nominee?Copy !req
303. - I was throwing down a gauntlet.
- Where I'm from, it's littering.Copy !req
304. The field's pathetic.
Not one can take . . .Copy !req
305. . . . the Republicans. I called them
the seven dwarves for a reason.Copy !req
306. I'm not gonna get into an argument
about whether size matters.Copy !req
307. I'm here in the trenches,
running a one-man show . . .Copy !req
308. . . . and I'm sick of Democrats
eating their young.Copy !req
309. Wash them down with a little
Rocky Road, it's not so bad.Copy !req
310. - You haven't told me what you're doing.
- Miss Gardner, your room is ready.Copy !req
311. The simple answer is . . .Copy !req
312. . . . prepping Santos for the debate
you haven't gotten him.Copy !req
313. The existential answer?Copy !req
314. It's tricky stuff, Joshua.Copy !req
315. I want you at every Hoynes
and Russell event for 36 hours.Copy !req
316. Obviously,
Bob goes to the Russell events . . .Copy !req
317. . . . and John the Hoynes.Copy !req
318. You know, Bob, John . . . .
We're making a serious point here.Copy !req
319. We're trying to turn public opinion,
so no roughhousing . . .Copy !req
320. . . .no tearing down signs,
no excessive flapping of the wings.Copy !req
321. Don't lie about what you're doing there.
Don't heckle.Copy !req
322. If you get the chance,
you ask humbly and respectfully:Copy !req
323. "Are you too chicken
to debate the full field?"Copy !req
324. On a personal note, thanks for . . . .Copy !req
325. You know.Copy !req
326. Okay. Let's go out and get them, guys.Copy !req
327. No one's accepted our debate.Copy !req
328. The Monitor and the Post-Dispatch are
editorializing against the Herald debate.Copy !req
329. Two lousy editorials? That's it?Copy !req
330. We've been calling everyone.
The nationals won't bite.Copy !req
331. I stopped by our debate site,
looks great.Copy !req
332. Tell our Potemkin advance team
great work.Copy !req
333. The second they post those editorials,
I need pull quotes for the ad.Copy !req
334. Why aren't we putting
policy in the ad?Copy !req
335. - We got great policy.
- We're trying to get media.Copy !req
336. Great policy doesn't give goose bumps
to bored, 55-year-old segment producers.Copy !req
337. - As opposed to—?
- Chickens.Copy !req
338. - It's a complicated business.
- You have no idea.Copy !req
339. You're not gonna believe
who's on the phone.Copy !req
340. I feel terrible making you do this
when I'm not even in the debate.Copy !req
341. You're not in the Olympics either,
doesn't mean you don't do some sit-ups.Copy !req
342. You've coached 50 women congressional
candidates to debate wins . . .Copy !req
343. - . . .so there must be some secret.
- There is.Copy !req
344. Keep an extra pair of pantyhose
in your purse.Copy !req
345. After bombing the way I did in Iowa,
I'm not gonna rule that out.Copy !req
346. Congressman, I looked at the tapes.Copy !req
347. You're great. You're quotable . . .Copy !req
348. . . . cute enough to be
a presidential pinup.Copy !req
349. Wait until you see my runway work.Copy !req
350. You don't have the presidential voice.Copy !req
351. - The presidential voice?
- You don't have it.Copy !req
352. And it's a time of global peril . . .Copy !req
353. . . . and you're sharing the stage
with two vice presidents.Copy !req
354. Or not.Copy !req
355. What do you think
of the nationalist gains . . .Copy !req
356. . . .in the Russian parliamentary
elections?Copy !req
357. It ain't the Litchfield City Council,
but Russia makes its own choices.Copy !req
358. And in a democracy—Copy !req
359. The lamer half
of Jay Leno's monologue.Copy !req
360. You're not a House backbencher
trying to get on CNN.Copy !req
361. Sobriety, understatement.
Let the words carry the authority.Copy !req
362. - A presidential voice.
- Think filling out a suit . . .Copy !req
363. - . . . instead of wearing orange—
- Pantyhose.Copy !req
364. I was gonna say neckties,
but what the hell.Copy !req
365. How's the eye-clicking?Copy !req
366. We're still on hosiery.Copy !req
367. - I need the congressman for a minute.
- Yeah.Copy !req
368. Thanks, Amy.Copy !req
369. How's the ad?Copy !req
370. We'll have something
by prime time tomorrow night.Copy !req
371. Look, I'm sorry
I didn't tell you about Amy.Copy !req
372. I just got a call from
Hoynes' campaign manager.Copy !req
373. - Hoynes wants to meet.
- He wants us in the debate?Copy !req
374. I can't imagine why,
but we're getting some good editorials.Copy !req
375. Maybe making more hay
than I thought.Copy !req
376. - Want me to come?
- After your soliloquy at the Herald . . .Copy !req
377. - . . .I should take the solo this time.
- Okay.Copy !req
378. You got a few minutes for debate prep?
I know how you feel about me—Copy !req
379. You should get back in there.Copy !req
380. Know what I'm finding,
being on the trail?Copy !req
381. - What's that?
- I never stop talking.Copy !req
382. No, really, I'm surprised I don't
babble like an idiot in the shower.Copy !req
383. Fifteen stops a day. Eight speeches.
Five interviews.Copy !req
384. I could do a good 45 seconds
on your overcoat.Copy !req
385. - Okay, let's not.
- It's a stitch too little, a season too late.Copy !req
386. Josh, you can do better.
America can do better.Copy !req
387. - You wanted to talk about the debate?
- I don't.Copy !req
388. - Why'd you return the call?
- I called you, not the congressman.Copy !req
389. You think I wanna tell him no?Copy !req
390. You know how this works.
They only put me on if I say yes.Copy !req
391. You do benefit
from a two-man debate . . .Copy !req
392. . . . but there are editorials
denouncing the Herald's decision.Copy !req
393. Public opinion's turning.
You're gonna see it at your events.Copy !req
394. Well, first of all, Russell's picking
up the tab. It's his decision.Copy !req
395. And second, the way Russell's
hammering me in these ads . . .Copy !req
396. . . .I gotta get him up there,
one-on-one.Copy !req
397. So why did you wanna see me?Copy !req
398. I wanna talk about Matt Santos'
statement on Pakistan.Copy !req
399. You're the only one.Copy !req
400. "Free and nuclear-free"?Copy !req
401. I used that exact phrase myself
at the Merrimack Chamber.Copy !req
402. We're working from the same material,
let's coordinate.Copy !req
403. We don't wanna get caught up
in a plagiarism charge.Copy !req
404. - What?
- Amy's memos.Copy !req
405. - Amy?
- Amy Gardner.Copy !req
406. Her memos on the presidential voice?Copy !req
407. That's where I got the line.
I assume that's where you got it.Copy !req
408. Now, if we're both gonna use them,
let's divvy them up.Copy !req
409. - She gave you the memos?
- "Security as the new women's issue. "Copy !req
410. - Pretty smart stuff.
- Sir, we're ready for you.Copy !req
411. Time's up, Josh. Gotta keep talking.Copy !req
412. When Russell was in Congress...Copy !req
413. Common Cause called him
big mining's best friend.Copy !req
414. Congress Watch said
there isn't a mining loophole...Copy !req
415. or giveaway he won't support.Copy !req
416. That's the new Hoynes spot?Copy !req
417. - Hoynes approved it, into the camera.
- I fought for that in Congress.Copy !req
418. If candidates had to look into
the camera and approve every ad . . .Copy !req
419. . . .it would somehow raise
the tone of these campaigns.Copy !req
420. It's not working very well.Copy !req
421. Candidates just approve at the top so by
the time they twist the knife, you forget.Copy !req
422. Bob Russell.
Good for the Colorado mining industry.Copy !req
423. But is he good for New Hampshire?Copy !req
424. I'm going back to the hotel
for my debate prep.Copy !req
425. One advantage
of being vice president . . .Copy !req
426. . . . aside from the motorcades
and the hoopla . . .Copy !req
427. . . .is the honor of standing behind
the vice-presidential seal.Copy !req
428. Tell you what I like about
the vice-presidential seal.Copy !req
429. If you close your left eye and you squint
really hard and you tilt your head . . . .Copy !req
430. Here's what's troubling me
about our answer on Pakistan.Copy !req
431. We're exploiting unverified claims denied
by the Pakistani and Nigerian cabinets?Copy !req
432. I was gonna say our
60-second answer's like 90.Copy !req
433. I hate it when clandestine proliferation
networks won't stay on the clock.Copy !req
434. - Mom, look.
- Oh, my.Copy !req
435. —the heart of who we are as a people.
But I am committed . . .Copy !req
436. - . . .to manufacturing in this country.
- You sure that was Advil you gave me?Copy !req
437. - That is a large chicken.
- That's not the mascot.Copy !req
438. - Aren't they the Fighting Wombats?
- Warthogs.Copy !req
439. - Mr. Vice President.
- We magged him. He's clean.Copy !req
440. Excuse me, Mr. Vice President.
Excuse me.Copy !req
441. About the debate. Why are you not
willing to have full participation?Copy !req
442. - Are you chicken?
- I'm going in.Copy !req
443. May I ask, sir, why you're not willing?
Why are you not—?Copy !req
444. - You're from the Santos campaign.
- Yes.Copy !req
445. Do you realize how pathetic this is?
Do your parents know?Copy !req
446. Pakistan could be arming Nigeria,
a potential Muslim coup . . .Copy !req
447. . . . and you're pulling pranks.Copy !req
448. If this is democracy, Santos belongs
in a fraternity house, not a debate.Copy !req
449. Now, go dip your beak
in someone else's feed.Copy !req
450. Tell me you're not gonna use that.Copy !req
451. There are whole generations of
Russians who were trained by the KGB.Copy !req
452. When the wall fell,
they didn't all go open pizzerias.Copy !req
453. - That's not to say that—
- No, no, no.Copy !req
454. Bad, bad, bad.Copy !req
455. If I could pull a lever and drop you,
I'd do it.Copy !req
456. - What, my analysis isn't right?
- Your analysis is fine.Copy !req
457. I don't know how to explain. It's not
a pop quiz and it's not a talk show.Copy !req
458. The leader of the free world has to speak
in broad concepts, in value statements.Copy !req
459. "I love America.
I will lead the world towards liberty. "Copy !req
460. Oh, I don't sound pompous enough.Copy !req
461. You're commenting on events,
not shaping them.Copy !req
462. I don't shape them,
and it's not the way I think.Copy !req
463. The prospect of first-strike capability's
gotta change the way you think.Copy !req
464. Anything from Hoynes?Copy !req
465. Yeah. I need five minutes with Amy.Copy !req
466. Take 10. I'm gonna call my wife.Copy !req
467. Show Amy how little I shape events.Copy !req
468. I'm trying to explain
the presidential voice.Copy !req
469. The difference between leading
the marketplace and catering to it.Copy !req
470. The difference between, I don't know,
John Lennon and John Davidson.Copy !req
471. Sergeant Pepper
and the fifth Herman's Hermits album.Copy !req
472. - You're working for Hoynes.
- I'm not.Copy !req
473. You're giving one-liners
to two campaigns.Copy !req
474. It was a memo.
I gave it to all seven.Copy !req
475. I suppose your love is a free gift
to the Bolshevik brothers too.Copy !req
476. Did you see the gender gap
in the last election?Copy !req
477. Probably not,
because there wasn't one.Copy !req
478. Yeah, and since chicks
really dig plagiarism, this'll help.Copy !req
479. Security's the new women's issue.
It's why we're losing.Copy !req
480. People are scared and Democrats sound
like think-tank hair-twirlers.Copy !req
481. - So you pick a candidate and help him.
- And if that candidate doesn't win?Copy !req
482. - Want a warranty?
- I want every candidate . . .Copy !req
483. - . . .to be able to take the Republicans.
- You don't give a damn.Copy !req
484. - You want—
- The whole party to be stronger. Right.Copy !req
485. We don't open our inner circle
to earth mothers.Copy !req
486. Who's we?
You didn't even know I was coming.Copy !req
487. No, but I know you're leaving.Copy !req
488. And don't knock Herman's Hermits.
It's hard enough getting on the charts.Copy !req
489. What happened in here?Copy !req
490. Amy practically knocked me over
in the lobby.Copy !req
491. - She's going back to Washington.
- You fired her?Copy !req
492. She's been advising the whole field.
Hoynes used the same line on Pakistan.Copy !req
493. She's brilliant.
I can understand how you'd want her.Copy !req
494. She's my ex, so you didn't tell me.Copy !req
495. - if you had trusted me for two seconds—
- I knew she was advising everyone.Copy !req
496. That's why I didn't tell you.
You think I care about your dating life?Copy !req
497. Okay. Let's get back to Politics 101.
The object is to beat the other guys.Copy !req
498. We are all getting beaten on security.
It's like these debate rules.Copy !req
499. If all of us were better, maybe one
of us would finally break through.Copy !req
500. And did I just see chickens on CNN
up in my hotel room?Copy !req
501. This may not be the best time,
but we have to get over to the court.Copy !req
502. - It closes in an hour.
- We are not going to any cou— Chickens?Copy !req
503. I had the lawyers finish the brief.
They're waiting.Copy !req
504. - Tell them to find an ambulance to chase!
- In case you didn't notice, we're in one!Copy !req
505. We're hosting a debate
that nobody is coming to . . .Copy !req
506. . . . with two lousy editorials
taking our side?Copy !req
507. Why do you keep making me
have this argument?Copy !req
508. Because it's not the way
I wanna do things.Copy !req
509. Being in a real debate,
like an actual candidate?Copy !req
510. Amy's telling me to be more presidential,
you want me to act like a Mob attorney!Copy !req
511. Here's what Amy won't tell you
about the voice:Copy !req
512. You have to become president
to use it.Copy !req
513. He wouldn't let me go to the court.
I had the brief.Copy !req
514. We were ready to go.Copy !req
515. If you end up canceling your alternate
debate because of lack of interest . . .Copy !req
516. . . . the field shrank to six dwarves
and a porcelain donkey.Copy !req
517. - Collectible.
- You should have told him a case...Copy !req
518. - . . . kicks up a media storm.
- He has the PR instincts of Idi Amin.Copy !req
519. Now we're shut out of a debate . . .Copy !req
520. . . .I fired my ex-girlfriend
from a job she never had . . .Copy !req
521. . . . Santos practically had me
batter-dipped and seasoned . . .Copy !req
522. . . . when he saw Donna
fighting a giant chicken on CNN.Copy !req
523. - Talk about dignifying a weak opponent.
- Yeah.Copy !req
524. You don't engage a chicken. Didn't you
teach that girl not to engage a chicken?Copy !req
525. Though, I swear,
watching the footage . . .Copy !req
526. . . .it looks like she's gonna pluck
the feathers right off.Copy !req
527. - It's the best press we've had all week.
- Gotta go.Copy !req
528. - Postproduction guys worked all night.
- Yeah.Copy !req
529. Did you get a cell number for Amy?Copy !req
530. Actually, she called and left it
for the congressman . . .Copy !req
531. . . . but made me promise
not to give it to you.Copy !req
532. - Hey.
- Well, let's see the ad.Copy !req
533. Health-care costs are spiraling.
That's something we should debate.Copy !req
534. Then why has Bob Russell refused
to take part in a real debate?Copy !req
535. The people of New Hampshire deserve
to hear us speak about the issues.Copy !req
536. I'm looking forward to the debates.Copy !req
537. Why won't John Hoynes debate
all his opponents?Copy !req
538. The Concord Monitor
calls tomorrow's debate...Copy !req
539. "an illegal contribution to
the Russell and Hoynes campaigns. "Copy !req
540. Post-Dispatch says
"a subversion of democracy. "Copy !req
541. Or maybe they're just chicken.Copy !req
542. It's an attack ad.Copy !req
543. They shut us out of the debate.
We should crawl and thank them?Copy !req
544. You expect me to look into a camera
and say I approved that.Copy !req
545. We were gonna put that at the top.Copy !req
546. Thank you all for all of your hard work.Copy !req
547. We're not running it.Copy !req
548. Congressman, this is your argument.Copy !req
549. - People deserve a full and fair debate.
- It wasn't what I had in mind.Copy !req
550. What did you have in mind?Copy !req
551. - I don't know.
- Oh, great.Copy !req
552. I'll call the editing bay.Copy !req
553. We need to overhaul the spot. We have
no clue, but get it ready for broadcast.Copy !req
554. - It's sketch comedy.
- It's fun. It's feisty.Copy !req
555. - It'll get us on the news.
- It's cheap.Copy !req
556. What did you expect?
I'm sorry, but nobody else cares . . .Copy !req
557. . . . about your
Marquess of Queensbury Rules.Copy !req
558. I didn't want this to be some crank
campaign, swinging wildly at Eden.Copy !req
559. Well, guess what. That's what we are.Copy !req
560. I like your debate rules, congressman.
Honestly, I do.Copy !req
561. And I admire your campaign ethics.
But we're game players, not rule makers.Copy !req
562. And if we walk away from our
last chance to make any kind of splash . . .Copy !req
563. . . . and this is our last chance . . .Copy !req
564. . . . the only rules we're gonna need are
for long, lingering games of shuffleboard.Copy !req
565. We got a good ad.
We got a minute of prime time . . .Copy !req
566. . . . on one of the top stations in the state.
You don't wanna run it, it's up to you.Copy !req
567. - Congressman, do you need some time?
- No, it's fine.Copy !req
568. Maybe we could run a bit
of your stump speech.Copy !req
569. Get the footage from C-SPAN.Copy !req
570. In less than one hour?Copy !req
571. Yeah, probably not.Copy !req
572. Say, did you happen to catch the
New Jersey Senate debate last week?Copy !req
573. No, sir.Copy !req
574. Someone asked about
the situation in Freedonia . . .Copy !req
575. . . . and Barber said
that he was studying it.Copy !req
576. Freedonia's fake.Copy !req
577. It's from a Marx Brothers movie.Copy !req
578. And there was no follow-up,
no cross-examination.Copy !req
579. The bigger story in the papers
the next day . . .Copy !req
580. . . . was how he slammed his opponent
for being too liberal.Copy !req
581. You get into this thinking to yourself . . .Copy !req
582. . . . that you're gonna
play by your own rules . . .Copy !req
583. . . . and then, bit by bit,
you chip away at them . . .Copy !req
584. . . . until you can't even name the game.Copy !req
585. You were a history major
over at UT, weren't you?Copy !req
586. - Yes.
- You think there's such a thing . . .Copy !req
587. . . .as a presidential voice?Copy !req
588. Seemed to me that the president makes
the voice, not the other way around.Copy !req
589. We're going to WMUR.Copy !req
590. To drop off the ad?Copy !req
591. - I'm gonna do it live, to camera.
- Do what live to camera?Copy !req
592. Get a room and a laptop.
We'll figure it out when we get there.Copy !req
593. - Call the director. We need—
- Room and a laptop.Copy !req
594. Right, and call—Copy !req
595. Call anyone else you think
you should call.Copy !req
596. - Congressman. This way.
- Hi.Copy !req
597. Hey, this is exciting stuff.Copy !req
598. - We love live TV around here.
- Yeah, me too. I love it.Copy !req
599. Talking about Pakistan? Hard for
a House member to do much.Copy !req
600. - I don't wanna spoil the surprise.
- Forgive the staff. They're jaded.Copy !req
601. They hardly look up when
the first-tier candidates come through.Copy !req
602. Fifteen seconds to live.
Stand by to roll VTR.Copy !req
603. Stand by, VTR audio.Copy !req
604. - Coming live in six, five . . .
- And roll VTR.Copy !req
605. . . . four, three, two . . . .Copy !req
606. Good evening.
I'm running for president.Copy !req
607. And if you don't know who I am,
I wouldn't be surprised.Copy !req
608. I've been shut out of tomorrow's debate
for suggesting it actually be a debate . . .Copy !req
609. . . . and this is the only ad I can afford.Copy !req
610. I got in this to improve
a broken school system . . .Copy !req
611. . . . fix entitlements, because
they're going bankrupt . . .Copy !req
612. . . .to expand health coverage.Copy !req
613. It'll save money if fewer people
show up in emergency rooms.Copy !req
614. What I've found is that presidential
campaigns aren't about these things.Copy !req
615. They're about clawing your opponents
so long as you don't get tagged for it.Copy !req
616. So how about this:Copy !req
617. I will never say anything about my
opponents, or anything about anything . . .Copy !req
618. . . . without saying it myself,
right into the camera.Copy !req
619. You might not get to hear much
of me, but when you do . . .Copy !req
620. . . .you'll know I stand by it.Copy !req
621. I'm Matt Santos, and you better
believe I approved this ad.Copy !req
622. The hard part's clearing
your throat, really.Copy !req
623. Great job.Copy !req
624. Yes, sir, we're still taking donations.Copy !req
625. Well, I honestly don't know
if we could run the ad again.Copy !req
626. It wasn't really— I'm sorry.
Could you hold, please?Copy !req
627. Hello, Santos for—Copy !req
628. Federal limit's $2000.
Could you please hold for a second.Copy !req
629. - Hoynes isn't commenting on your ad.
- I'm not commenting on his failure to . . .Copy !req
630. . . .so tag, he's it.Copy !req
631. Are you planning to go on TV more?Copy !req
632. I'm trying to get my own game show,
Let's Make a Country.Copy !req
633. I'll keep you posted.Copy !req
634. - I don't understand the strategy.
- I wouldn't call it a strategy, per se.Copy !req
635. - Obviously, we've talked about it.
- Before you wrote the ad.Copy !req
636. - Matt Santos wrote the ad.
- Come on, Josh.Copy !req
637. - We're on deep background here.
- He wrote it.Copy !req
638. - Off the record, then.
- Put me in Witness Protection.Copy !req
639. The guy wrote his own ad.Copy !req
640. I will never say anything about my
opponents, or anything about anything...Copy !req
641. without saying it myself,
right into the camera.Copy !req
642. I'm Matt Santos, and you better believe
I approved this ad.Copy !req
643. It's hard to say whether Congressman
Santos ' minute of prime time...Copy !req
644. will turn his campaign around...Copy !req
645. but many political observers agree
that the unusual ad...Copy !req
646. run on rival station WMUR,
raises the question:Copy !req
647. If candidates mean what they say,
why don't they simply say it themselves?Copy !req
648. Look, Amy, it's really hard out there.Copy !req
649. We got people lobbing grenades at us
from all sides, even our friends.Copy !req
650. They need to know if you can take it.Copy !req
651. Even your friends.Copy !req
652. For its part, the Russell campaign
says that it stands by all its ads...Copy !req
653. which is why Bob Russell appears
on-screen attesting to its veracity.Copy !req
654. - I should be calling columnists.
- Don't.Copy !req
655. - No, we should be doing spinoff events.
- Don't.Copy !req
656. - We should be sending out copies of—
- Don't. Stop.Copy !req
657. This spins itself. Send copies,
they're gonna stop running it.Copy !req
658. - So, what do I do?
- Sit here.Copy !req
659. —voters don't especially like,
and defending a campaign-reform law...Copy !req
660. that hasn 't done much
to clean up campaigns.Copy !req
661. For its part—Copy !req
662. What Congressman Santos did tonight,
intentionally or not, was put both...Copy !req
663. - What happens now?
- Very little.Copy !req
664. —defending a campaign-reform law...Copy !req
665. that hasn 't cleaned up campaigns.Copy !req
666. Is it cynical that candidates
excluded from the main debate . . .Copy !req
667. . . . have now accepted your offer?Copy !req
668. I don't call it cynical. Yesterday,
this looked like a vanity exercise.Copy !req
669. I might not have accepted it myself.Copy !req
670. MSNBC's announced they're running
the debates back-to-back.Copy !req
671. And I'd watch them,
but I'm busy that night.Copy !req
672. A disaster. We're not getting coverage
of Politics and Eggs . . .Copy !req
673. - . . . of "get tough on Pakistan"--
- Press loves an underdog.Copy !req
674. - How many points behind this ad?
- None. It's all free media.Copy !req
675. Can we ramp up our media buy?Copy !req
676. Pull the negatives,
replace them with positives.Copy !req
677. That sounds like a retreat.Copy !req
678. - Press will smell blood.
- It's a multi-candidate field.Copy !req
679. If the press loves him,
and we're rolling in the mud—Copy !req
680. We're leading in the polls.
How did we end up in a crouch?Copy !req
681. I'm not changing my ads
because of a stunt.Copy !req
682. - You saw the debate editorials.
- Thank God we kept him out.Copy !req
683. He'd have shown up in a powdered wig,
quoting from the Federalist Papers.Copy !req
684. I disagree.Copy !req
685. I don't agree, Mr. Vice President.Copy !req
686. Maybe it is a stunt,
but if it is, we invited it.Copy !req
687. By trying to ride above the herd, treating
everybody else as if they were a herd.Copy !req
688. You have to go to Santos' debate.
Then Hoynes would have to go.Copy !req
689. Then we're letting the chips fall
on you, on your ideas.Copy !req
690. Not on some Machiavellian maneuver.Copy !req
691. And what's the alternative?Copy !req
692. Alienating Pakistan, which cuts off . . .Copy !req
693. . . . our only decent source
of intelligence in that region.Copy !req
694. I actually agree with John Hoynes
on this one.Copy !req
695. We have to keep that part of the world
free, prosperous and also nuclear-free.Copy !req
696. - Chest-beating's not gonna do it.
- Thanks.Copy !req
697. - That's great.
- Thanks, guys.Copy !req
698. - Where have you been?
- I got tied up.Copy !req
699. I'm fine if we wanna bring Amy back.Copy !req
700. Any news?Copy !req
701. Hoynes turned us down
for the debate again.Copy !req
702. He must have been scared off
by what he saw on TV.Copy !req
703. At this point, even raw opportunism
would suggest that—Copy !req
704. Bob Russell for the congressman.Copy !req
705. Mr. Vice President. Yes.Copy !req
706. And after Vice President Russell
decided to skip today's Herald debate...Copy !req
707. and join Congressman Santos,
the Hoynes campaign had no choice...Copy !req
708. but to do so as well. One thing's for
the debate you're about to see...Copy !req
709. isn't the one John Hoynes and
Bob Russell wanted just two days—Copy !req
710. We had a tougher line
on means testing.Copy !req
711. You're gonna wanna save that
for the cross-examination.Copy !req
712. Right.Copy !req
713. —are sure to make
this seven-way debate a must-see.Copy !req
714. Have you ever actually closed one eye,
tilted your head and looked at the seal?Copy !req
715. I hate to admit it, but yes.Copy !req
716. - Really just a blurry-Iooking seal, isn't it?
- I'm thinking about closing both eyes.Copy !req
717. What was it you said
about frontrunners?Copy !req
718. - Everything to lose, nothing to win?
- And tip the dealer.Copy !req
719. - Wanna grab dinner?
- Who else am I gonna have dinner with?Copy !req
720. —the Hoynes campaign had
to do so as well.Copy !req
721. Testing. One, two, three. Testing.Copy !req
722. Thank you for being
part of this very special...Copy !req
723. New Hampshire Democratic
primary debate.Copy !req
724. I don't know if I've served you
very well over the past few days.Copy !req
725. What are you talking about?Copy !req
726. The ad was your idea.
So was this debate.Copy !req
727. I never thought we'd be here.Copy !req
728. It's a miracle I ordered podiums.Copy !req
729. Truth is, I can't think of one thing
I've done to make this your campaign . . .Copy !req
730. . . . and not some cookie-cutter
Beltway hack-a-thon.Copy !req
731. Well, I can think of one.Copy !req
732. - You put me in it.
- Gentlemen, if you'll take your places.Copy !req
733. Can I buy you an ice-cream cone
when this is over?Copy !req
734. My flight's in an hour.Copy !req
735. You're not gonna stay and watch?Copy !req
736. Could never stand to see candidates
flub my lines, anyway.Copy !req
737. Please take your seats.Copy !req
738. Welcome.
Thank you for joining us today . . .Copy !req
739. . . . for the final debate of
the New Hampshire Democratic primary.Copy !req
740. For the next 90 minutes, our panel
will ask questions of the candidates . . .Copy !req
741. . . . and all candidates will answer,
and all candidates must answer . . .Copy !req
742. . . . before the debate is to proceed.Copy !req
743. Then each candidate
will be given the opportunity . . .Copy !req
744. . . .to cross-examine
her or his opponent.Copy !req