1. Previously on The West Wing:Copy !req
2. You broke some laws.
You should be ashamed of yourself...Copy !req
3. You're gonna get asked questions
and tell the truth.Copy !req
4. And I was almost sure I saw you giving
the president an injection of something.Copy !req
5. You're not a medical expert,
you didn't keep records...Copy !req
6. you violated medical practices.
And most important, you're his wife...Copy !req
7. which is a violation
of the AMA's ethics code.Copy !req
8. It is becoming clear what the
president's biggest liability will be.Copy !req
9. - What?
- You.Copy !req
10. - Do you like these earrings?
- I do.Copy !req
11. - You wanna look at them first?
- Are they new?Copy !req
12. - You've worn them?
- Yeah.Copy !req
13. I love them.
"Laissez-faire doctrine," 15 letters.Copy !req
14. - Social Darwinism.
- No, that's not the answer, see...Copy !req
15. because social Darwinism
isn't a doctrine. It's a force of nature.Copy !req
16. The answer is libertarianism.Copy !req
17. - I'll be ready in two minutes.
- Take your time.Copy !req
18. Passive-aggression is not gonna
get me out the door any faster.Copy !req
19. Boo-boo, I gave up on getting
you out the door in the late '70s.Copy !req
20. Plus, it's your birthday. You're old,
and you don't move around that fast.Copy !req
21. - "Libertarianism" has 14 letters, not 15.
- I know, so I'm shading in the extra box.Copy !req
22. - And it's not my birthday.
- It's your birthday week.Copy !req
23. It's a week of festivities,
like Mardi gras or Lent.Copy !req
24. Three letters."It may be bitter."
"Tea," right?Copy !req
25. - "It may be bitter"? Why'tea"?
- "Woman" doesn't fit.Copy !req
26. "End," you idiot. Bitter end.Copy !req
27. When the medical board gives
the results of the hearing...Copy !req
28. do they slap it up
on an x-ray light board?Copy !req
29. "Here's where the problem is in your
testimony, Abbey. Here and here."Copy !req
30. That's funny.
The other 23 jokes weren't funny.Copy !req
31. It's not that they weren't funny.
Just they weren't'ha-ha" funny.Copy !req
32. But 12 years of medical school,
my life, my work, my future...Copy !req
33. everything, up on the x-ray board,
that's comedy.Copy !req
34. I know it sounds like
you're praising me...Copy !req
35. Oh, shut up.Copy !req
36. It's not your life or 12 years
of anything, or anything.Copy !req
37. They're gonna give you the very least.Copy !req
38. They can't give me the very least.Copy !req
39. The least they can give me
is a letter of concern...Copy !req
40. which is private and unpublished,
but that isn't available to me...Copy !req
41. because I fought the case
and stood by my convictions.Copy !req
42. - Well, that was stupid.
- Do your crossword puzzle.Copy !req
43. Standing by your convictions
isn't gonna get you anywhere.Copy !req
44. This isn't some guy off the street
talking. I'm a very successful politician.Copy !req
45. - How many people are at this party?
- About 200.Copy !req
46. But that was five or six hours ago
when it started.Copy !req
47. Once more
with the passive-aggressive.Copy !req
48. Body organ, produces hydrochloric acid.
That's the kidney, right?Copy !req
49. - Or the lima bean?
- Pancreas.Copy !req
50. They can't take medical school
away from you.Copy !req
51. - Jed...
- Abbey, come here.Copy !req
52. I know you're scared...Copy !req
53. but I'm very confident,
so you be whatever you want.Copy !req
54. Whatever happens, happens tomorrow.
Tonight is your birthday party.Copy !req
55. And your earrings are great.
So are your shoes.Copy !req
56. So can we, for the love of God,
get out of this room?Copy !req
57. - Good to get that off your chest?
- Yeah.Copy !req
58. Pheasant and morel consommé.Copy !req
59. Miniature ravioli of foie gras
and smoked goose confit.Copy !req
60. A little canary-melon sorbet
as a palate cleanser.Copy !req
61. - All served on the finest Lenox china.
- Oh, you planned this all yourself?Copy !req
62. A '97 Willamette Valley pinot noir,
a '94 Hogue Cellars zinfandel.Copy !req
63. You really planned this all yourself?Copy !req
64. I'm like Gatsby,
but without the problems.Copy !req
65. Listen, we're gonna
keep this relaxed, right?Copy !req
66. I'm not sure I'm up for a lot
of first-lady fanfare tonight.Copy !req
67. - What?
- I wish you'd mentioned that before.Copy !req
68. Why?Copy !req
69. - Ladies and gentlemen, Abbey Bartlet.
- It's gonna be relaxed.Copy !req
70. For dessert, we're having
kumquat napoleons.Copy !req
71. - Shut up.
- Okay.Copy !req
72. - Happy birthday, Mrs. B.
- Oh, thank you, Josh.Copy !req
73. - Amy, a friend.
- Happy birthday.Copy !req
74. - You look beautiful.
- Amy.Copy !req
75. I'm responsible for the two of you.
I haven't gotten credit yet.Copy !req
76. - The jury's still out.
- I hope Donna's coming.Copy !req
77. Donna was invited. All the women of
the West Wing. We're doing a calendar.Copy !req
78. - Not sure what's keeping her.
- Abigail!Copy !req
79. Now it's a party.Copy !req
80. Yes, Your Lordship.Copy !req
81. - Your breasts are magnificent.
- Oh, thank you, John.Copy !req
82. Mr. President, the first thing
that attracted you to Abigail...Copy !req
83. was it her magnificent breasts?
- It was.Copy !req
84. You know,
there are places in the world...Copy !req
85. where it might be rude to talk
about the physical attributes...Copy !req
86. of another man's wife.
- My God!Copy !req
87. - Really?
- Yeah.Copy !req
88. Abbey, I bring you warm wishes...Copy !req
89. from Her Royal Majesty.
- That's nice of her.Copy !req
90. - I can't deliver the same wishes for you.
- What did I do?Copy !req
91. Brendan McGann
cannot visit the White House.Copy !req
92. Look, we knew this was
gonna be a thing.Copy !req
93. - But it doesn't have to be tonight, right?
- No. I shall take it up with Gerald.Copy !req
94. - Who's Gerald?
- I'm pretty sure he means Leo.Copy !req
95. - You have a new chief of staff?
- No.Copy !req
96. Well, then, Gerald it is.
Abbey, enjoy your birthday gala.Copy !req
97. I shall await a dance.Copy !req
98. I won't make you wait long,
Your Lordship.Copy !req
99. Excellent.Copy !req
100. So... . So far, so good.Copy !req
101. - Leo?
- Yeah. Do me a favor, would you?Copy !req
102. Check out a rumor that Robert Nolan,
chairman of the New Hampshire...Copy !req
103. Medical Board is gonna recuse himself
from Abbey's hearing.Copy !req
104. - N-O-L-A-N?
- Yeah.Copy !req
105. - And what's the source?
- I don't know.Copy !req
106. But it's coming
from the Manchester Union Leader.Copy !req
107. Change taxicabs a couple of times.Copy !req
108. I don't want the paper knowing
we're asking questions.Copy !req
109. - That's no problem. What's going on?
- Let's confirm the story first.Copy !req
110. - If it's true, bring it to the president.
- Okay.Copy !req
111. And one of us... Well, you need to talk
to Abbey tonight about tomorrow.Copy !req
112. - Happy birthday, Abbey.
- I'll get this other thing.Copy !req
113. - Hey.
- Hey.Copy !req
114. - Jack Enlow?
- No, it's C.J. Cregg. We've met.Copy !req
115. And laughed and laughed.Copy !req
116. - Is Jack Enlow at the party yet?
- I'm not at the party.Copy !req
117. If you're gonna start with Enlow,
can I send the press home?Copy !req
118. - I'm not an instigator.
- You are.Copy !req
119. I'm on the side of the angels.Copy !req
120. I'll say this. You can wear a tuxedo.Copy !req
121. - I know.
- I know you know.Copy !req
122. - Good evening.
- Why is Dalton Millgate coming here?Copy !req
123. - How'd you know he was coming?
- How do you think?Copy !req
124. - Because you know everything.
- Yes.Copy !req
125. I had him for a semester.Copy !req
126. He's having trouble getting funding
for a superconductor.Copy !req
127. I told him I'd put him
with Jack Enlow.Copy !req
128. - You gonna fight with Enlow?
- Why does everybody think...?Copy !req
129. - Never mind. I'm just doing him a favor.
- Okay.Copy !req
130. - How you feeling about the first lady?
- I was feeling good, and now I'm not.Copy !req
131. - Why?
- We're checking it out...Copy !req
132. but I think the swing vote's
gonna recuse himself.Copy !req
133. - President will wanna call him.
- Maybe.Copy !req
134. Yeah, he can't. He can't call him.
It could send us into a whole new thing.Copy !req
135. You ever mix politics and the president's
family and get a good result?Copy !req
136. - No.
- Me neither. I've been at this longer.Copy !req
137. Okay.Copy !req
138. He can't pick up the phone.Copy !req
139. - Isn't it called a supercollider?
- Is it?Copy !req
140. - You called it a superconductor.
- Whatever.Copy !req
141. - Keep blood off your shirt.
- I'm not an instigator.Copy !req
142. Donna. What are you doing here?Copy !req
143. - Are you having a good time?
- The party's started.Copy !req
144. Is the champagne flowing
as smoothly as the badinage?Copy !req
145. - Elegant men and beautiful gowns?
- The men are in tuxes.Copy !req
146. - "And" beautiful gowns, not'in."
- What are you doing here?Copy !req
147. There was a problem when the Secret
Service did its check on the guest list.Copy !req
148. - A problem with what?
- With me.Copy !req
149. Donna, you work in the White House.
You fly with the president.Copy !req
150. - What's the problem?
- I do not know.Copy !req
151. - Come into the party.
- I don't think I should.Copy !req
152. - Why?
- Well, they'll shoot me.Copy !req
153. - They wouldn't tell you the problem?
- Said they'd get back to me.Copy !req
154. - You want me to get into it?
- That'd be very nice.Copy !req
155. - You look good.
- Thanks.Copy !req
156. - Dr. Millgate.
- Sam.Copy !req
157. - It's been a long time.
- Yes.Copy !req
158. And now the student
becomes the teacher, huh?Copy !req
159. Not really, no.Copy !req
160. Okay. So did I disappoint you
when I didn't go into physics?Copy !req
161. - No.
- Why?Copy !req
162. - You were bad at it.
- No, I wasn't.Copy !req
163. Yeah.Copy !req
164. - I just needed a little encouragement.
- No.Copy !req
165. Congress isn't gonna fund
your superconductor.Copy !req
166. Supercollider.Copy !req
167. Superconducting supercollider.
This is exactly what I'm talking about.Copy !req
168. A 54-mile tunnel 150 feet belowground,
in which protons and antiprotons...Copy !req
169. would be flung into each other
at the speed of light.Copy !req
170. - Can you remember that?
- Yes.Copy !req
171. Because when you talk about it
you shouldn't sound like an idiot.Copy !req
172. There's no lobby for this, Sam.
There's no presence in Washington.Copy !req
173. It's just me coming to see you. That's
how seriously the government takes it.Copy !req
174. - Well, Congress spent 2 billion.
- I know.Copy !req
175. But all they did was clear the land
and build a lab. We need the thing.Copy !req
176. - Now, is he there?
- The senator? Yeah.Copy !req
177. - Because you said he'd be at the party.
- He's there.Copy !req
178. - Go talk to him.
- Okay.Copy !req
179. I said I'd do this, but it's likely he's
gonna say this is an unaffordable luxury.Copy !req
180. We're losing the race
for discovery, Sam.Copy !req
181. For discovery.Copy !req
182. Tonight, it's just me and you.Copy !req
183. - That doesn't really sound like enough.
- No.Copy !req
184. - What hotel you staying at?
- I'm not staying at a hotel.Copy !req
185. - Where can I call you?
- I'll be right here.Copy !req
186. - It's not like a drive-up window...
- You're wasting time.Copy !req
187. Okay.Copy !req
188. Charlie.Copy !req
189. - Yes, sir.
- I'm gonna need you later.Copy !req
190. - Sure.
- I wanna work on my toast.Copy !req
191. - Want Sam or Toby?
- I don't need help writing.Copy !req
192. I can write a damn toast.
I just wanna say it out loud.Copy !req
193. - Any warm body is fine.
- Thank you, sir.Copy !req
194. - When I give you the signal, we'll go.
- What's the signal?Copy !req
195. It'll be something like,"Charlie,
we're gonna work on the toast."Copy !req
196. - Excuse me.
- You finally got here.Copy !req
197. I think Abbey's gonna pull
a hamstring about tomorrow.Copy !req
198. - You mind if I talk to her a little bit?
- About what?Copy !req
199. You know, what she should
be saying tomorrow.Copy !req
200. - I'm feeling all right about it.
- Just in case.Copy !req
201. I don't know. She's pretty pissed.Copy !req
202. - Yeah, but at you, right?
- Yeah.Copy !req
203. - Yeah.
- All right.Copy !req
204. - Did she like the fanfare?
- Loved it.Copy !req
205. Okay.Copy !req
206. Josh.Copy !req
207. - Chuck.
- Good to see you.Copy !req
208. - You're friends with the first lady?
- My wife.Copy !req
209. - Oh, sure. You know Amy Gardner?
- Just by reputation.Copy !req
210. - I thought you were great on Crossfire.
- I don't think I was on Crossfire.Copy !req
211. - I meant Josh.
- Actually, you meant Sam.Copy !req
212. - I heard it was you.
- As long as you heard I was great.Copy !req
213. Listen, you've still got
my number, right?Copy !req
214. - About the thing?
- Yeah.Copy !req
215. - Nice meeting you.
- Good seeing you, Chuck.Copy !req
216. "About the thing"?Copy !req
217. - You guys pulling a heist?
- No.Copy !req
218. Come on. Let me in on the action.Copy !req
219. I can be a dame.Copy !req
220. I won't blow the whistle,
get you cheesed.Copy !req
221. No, Mugsy. Chuck Kane heads
Intergovernmental Affairs at Treasury...Copy !req
222. and he wants a job on the campaign
as deputy political director.Copy !req
223. - Is he gonna get it?
- I don't think so.Copy !req
224. - Who else are you considering?
- Mark Rothman and Robbie Gill.Copy !req
225. What?Copy !req
226. I was thinking Mark and Robbie
are funny names for women.Copy !req
227. - They're men.
- I know.Copy !req
228. They happen to be men.
They happen to be men.Copy !req
229. You're not hiring enough women
in senior positions for the campaign.Copy !req
230. - How do you know?
- Because it's my job to know.Copy !req
231. We're in a dangerous area.Copy !req
232. If women were the only voters...Copy !req
233. the Democrats would win
in a landslide every time.Copy !req
234. If men were the only voters,
the GOP would be the left-wing party.Copy !req
235. Women will be 60 percent of the vote.Copy !req
236. Don't you think they should make up
40 percent of the campaign staff?Copy !req
237. Let me tell you why
this is a dangerous area.Copy !req
238. Because I can't make decisions based
on the fact that I like your smooth skin.Copy !req
239. You're right.Copy !req
240. - Don't try and trick me.
- You're right. This should be off-limits.Copy !req
241. I apologize.Copy !req
242. - You're trying to trick me.
- No.Copy !req
243. I'll be scared for the rest of the night.Copy !req
244. - Hey, what happened to Donna?
- Donna. Yes.Copy !req
245. Excuse me.Copy !req
246. - Josh.
- Yeah.Copy !req
247. Where's the president?Copy !req
248. He went with Charlie
to work on his toast.Copy !req
249. I'm gonna need a few minutes
of uninterrupted time...Copy !req
250. - Gerald!
- Yeah.Copy !req
251. Gerald, old sock.Copy !req
252. - Gotta go.
- Yeah.Copy !req
253. Brendan McGann cannot come
to the White House.Copy !req
254. - How are you, John?
- I'm well.Copy !req
255. But McGann cannot
come to the White House.Copy !req
256. Hang on. Toby.Copy !req
257. - You know Toby Ziegler.
- Yeah. We've met on occasion.Copy !req
258. Toby, come here.Copy !req
259. - Lord John Marbury.
- Yes.Copy !req
260. Good evening, Your Lordship.Copy !req
261. Well, good evening. Yes.Copy !req
262. Talk to him about McGann.Copy !req
263. - You object to him coming?
- My objections are irrelevant.Copy !req
264. Her Majesty's government
has objections.Copy !req
265. - Which are?
- He's a terrorist.Copy !req
266. Hang on a second. Sinn Féin is a political
party, in fact, the oldest in Ireland.Copy !req
267. - And the political wing of the IRA.
- Sir...Copy !req
268. A terrorist cell. You are honoring a man
at your St. Patrick's Day dinner...Copy !req
269. allied with car bombers
and murderers of British soldiers.Copy !req
270. This, not to mention, Irish men,
women and children.Copy !req
271. You are doing it to appease Democrats
from New York City and Boston.Copy !req
272. - He's not being honored, just invited.
- He shouldn't be given a visa.Copy !req
273. And I think we have to be careful
how we use the word'terrorist."Copy !req
274. - Can I call you John?
- I am John, Lord Marbury...Copy !req
275. Earl of Croy,
Marquis of Needham and Dolby...Copy !req
276. Baronet of Brycey, England's
ambassador to the United States.Copy !req
277. And a terrorist is a terrorist...Copy !req
278. even if he wears a green necktie
and sings'Danny Boy."Copy !req
279. Yes, you can call me John.Copy !req
280. You feel like a drink?Copy !req
281. Yeah. I was looking for some Lagavulin.Copy !req
282. - It's a 16-year-old Islay single malt.
- I know Lagavulin.Copy !req
283. They usually have it here.Copy !req
284. Let's go down the street.
They keep a bottle there.Copy !req
285. Lead on.Copy !req
286. Excuse me.Copy !req
287. - Senator.
- Yes?Copy !req
288. - Sam Seaborn.
- Sure.Copy !req
289. - Wondering if you had a moment.
- I promised my wife a dance.Copy !req
290. This will just take a moment.
I've an eminent physicist in my office.Copy !req
291. - Dr. Millgate. You've heard of him?
- Yes.Copy !req
292. He asked me about the supercollider.
I didn't have any answers...Copy !req
293. - It's dead.
- It is?Copy !req
294. - As a Greek poet.
- I'm sure there are live poets in Greece.Copy !req
295. - Could you tell me how it died?
- I don't know.Copy !req
296. You're a ranking member
of the authorizing subcommittee.Copy !req
297. - How can you not know?
- It was put on anonymous hold.Copy !req
298. - That only applies to nominations.
- You're wrong.Copy !req
299. - Anyone can hold any bill for any reason.
- I don't understand.Copy !req
300. - How long does the objection last?
- Until the senator loses.Copy !req
301. You just tell your floor leader.Copy !req
302. - That's insane.
- Says you.Copy !req
303. This isn't a duck hunter with a gripe
in my office. It's Dalton Millgate.Copy !req
304. - Who's blocking the damn supercollider?
- It'd compromise the anonymous hold.Copy !req
305. It would compromise
autocratic obstructionism.Copy !req
306. We're talking about the Senate,
the saucer that cools the coffee.Copy !req
307. - And the drain that swallows it, sir.
- Check around.Copy !req
308. - I'm on record in favor of it.
- Thank God the hold's anonymous.Copy !req
309. - It's you.
- Sam.Copy !req
310. - You really care about the supercollider?
- I didn't before.Copy !req
311. It's a long night,
and we're not done yet.Copy !req
312. Go dance with your wife.Copy !req
313. - Hi.
- They covered the arrivals on the news.Copy !req
314. Everyone looked so nice. And happy.Copy !req
315. I brought you some food.Copy !req
316. - What's going on?
- I don't have all the answers...Copy !req
317. but it's pretty weird so far.Copy !req
318. What?Copy !req
319. Secret Service says there's
an INS notation next to your name.Copy !req
320. - What kind of notation?
- U.S. N.Copy !req
321. - They're saying I'm not a U.S. citizen?
- No...Copy !req
322. - Yes.
- I don't understand.Copy !req
323. - They're saying...
- I'm a U.S. citizen.Copy !req
324. Born in Minnesota, moved to Wisconsin,
now I live in Washington. What happened?Copy !req
325. - A mistake of some kind.
- You think?Copy !req
326. We're sorting it out.Copy !req
327. I've voted in every election...
I paid taxes as a citizen of this country.Copy !req
328. I have a birth certificate
and a passport.Copy !req
329. - It'll just take a few more minutes.
- You brought food?Copy !req
330. Olives.Copy !req
331. - Go away.
- All right.Copy !req
332. - Give me the olives.
- Okay.Copy !req
333. I'd kind of like to wait until
we know something for sure...Copy !req
334. before we start planning.
- Yeah.Copy !req
335. The thing is, though,
the first day's important.Copy !req
336. What I'd like to do, for instance,
is schedule a public event...Copy !req
337. show we're not scared.Copy !req
338. - What about a comment?
- You'll make a comment.Copy !req
339. But body language is gonna be
just as important.Copy !req
340. Can't hang your head. You gotta smile,
but you'll look smug... You've gotta...Copy !req
341. And there can't be...
Obviously, there can't be no reaction.Copy !req
342. What about the campaign?Copy !req
343. I'm not gonna tell a man's wife
she can't campaign.Copy !req
344. I don't know what that means.Copy !req
345. I think we can get a lot of use out
of you in targeted Democratic areas.Copy !req
346. Big cities, evening fundraisers.
We'll keep you out of the South.Copy !req
347. - Can we talk about this tomorrow?
- We need to...Copy !req
348. How about tomorrow?Copy !req
349. - It's important.
- A lot of things are important.Copy !req
350. Of course.Copy !req
351. I'm sorry. Enjoy the party.Copy !req
352. Thank you.Copy !req
353. "I've known my wife, Abbey,
for nearly 150 years."Copy !req
354. I won't do that.
She won't think that's funny.Copy !req
355. Yeah.Copy !req
356. Okay, I should... Yeah. Okay.Copy !req
357. "Thank you all for being here tonight."Copy !req
358. By the way, do you know where
the term'toast" comes from?Copy !req
359. - Can I say something, sir?
- Yeah.Copy !req
360. I'd stick to Mrs. Bartlet
and not get into etymology...Copy !req
361. I was talking to you. The Stuarts.Copy !req
362. They'd put a piece of toast
in your wine cup to improve the flavor.Copy !req
363. In 1643, members
of the Middle Temple...Copy !req
364. toasted Princess Elizabeth
by pledging to die in her service.Copy !req
365. Hey, that could be the button.Copy !req
366. - Excuse me.
- I haven't seen you all night.Copy !req
367. I've been tracking something down.Copy !req
368. - Charlie.
- Yes, sir.Copy !req
369. - What is it?
- A piece in the Manchester Union Leader.Copy !req
370. "Sources close to Robert Nolan
of the New Hampshire Medical Board...Copy !req
371. predict that he will announce
his recusal from the case..."Copy !req
372. No, damn it.Copy !req
373. "because of his relationship with the
Bartlets." What does this mean?Copy !req
374. We think the board
was evenly divided...Copy !req
375. and Nolan was the deciding vote,
which is what dictated a lot of it.Copy !req
376. - Damn it!
- There was a personal relationship.Copy !req
377. They worked together for 20 years.
I appointed him to the board.Copy !req
378. - Excuse me, sir.
- C.J., you should probably tell Abbey.Copy !req
379. Yes, sir. Thank you, Mr. President.Copy !req
380. The Union Leader says Nolan's
gonna recuse himself.Copy !req
381. What's gonna happen?Copy !req
382. They're gonna suspend her license
for a year.Copy !req
383. - We just talked for a little bit.
- And?Copy !req
384. I don't think you need to be concerned
about her leaving you for me.Copy !req
385. I was pretty concerned.Copy !req
386. She's definitely leaving you
for somebody...Copy !req
387. Will you leave me alone.Copy !req
388. I'm trying to be a husband,
and your mojo's getting all over me.Copy !req
389. Marbury's sitting with Toby.Copy !req
390. - This is Brendan McGann, right?
- Yeah.Copy !req
391. Yeah, I don't know what
to say about that.Copy !req
392. - I'll see you inside.
- Yeah.Copy !req
393. Thank you, Mr. President.Copy !req
394. - Josh.
- Good evening, ma'am.Copy !req
395. I'm sorry to do this at a party.Copy !req
396. This is a list of names I'd like you
to consider for deputy political director.Copy !req
397. We got it down to a few finalists.Copy !req
398. Yeah, I'd like you to add these names.Copy !req
399. I notice these are all women.Copy !req
400. Women are 60 percent
of our vote, Josh.Copy !req
401. Don't you think they should make up...Copy !req
402. 40 percent of our campaign staff?
- I'm sorry?Copy !req
403. I said, women are 60 percent
of our vote. Don't you think...?Copy !req
404. Yeah.Copy !req
405. - You'll get on it?
- Yes, ma'am.Copy !req
406. Having a good time?Copy !req
407. You bet.Copy !req
408. - You look beautiful.
- Thank you, ma'am, and so do you.Copy !req
409. I need to speak with you for a second.Copy !req
410. - This can't be good.
- No, I'm afraid not.Copy !req
411. Abbey, The Union Leader's
got sources...Copy !req
412. saying Dr. Nolan's gonna recuse
himself from the case.Copy !req
413. - Claudia Jean.
- Yes, ma'am.Copy !req
414. Let's get drunk.Copy !req
415. Okay.Copy !req
416. - Hey, it's a list of women.
- Yes, it is.Copy !req
417. - She got right on it.
- Yes, she did.Copy !req
418. - You love me?
- You went over my head...Copy !req
419. and you did it behind my back.
- Quite the contortionist am I.Copy !req
420. What position is Abbey Bartlet in
to know anything...?Copy !req
421. Amy.Copy !req
422. - Yes, ma'am.
- C.J. and I are gonna get drunk.Copy !req
423. - Come on.
- Yes, ma'am.Copy !req
424. - You're going?
- First lady asked me to booze with her.Copy !req
425. - I want to write a book one day.
- Amy...Copy !req
426. You're beeping.Copy !req
427. - All right, listen.
- Yes.Copy !req
428. Well, first of all, you're not allowed
to smoke in the White House.Copy !req
429. - You're kidding.
- No.Copy !req
430. And the search
for civilization continues.Copy !req
431. Come outside.Copy !req
432. I need you to tell me everything
you can about the supercollider.Copy !req
433. - How much time we have?
- About 10 minutes.Copy !req
434. If you pay close attention, stay quiet,
I can teach you how to spell it.Copy !req
435. Listen, this is what I do.
I get things fast.Copy !req
436. - Since when?
- What is it?Copy !req
437. It's a machine that reveals
the origins of matter.Copy !req
438. I'm assuming from the look on your face
you couldn't tell me what matter is.Copy !req
439. There's a lot of knowledge out there.
I may have missed some things.Copy !req
440. By smashing protons together
at very high speeds and temperatures...Copy !req
441. we can re-create the big bang
in a laboratory setting.Copy !req
442. Creating the kinds of particles
that only existed...Copy !req
443. in the first trillionth of a second
after the universe was created.Copy !req
444. Terrific. I understood that. What kind
of practical applications does it have?Copy !req
445. None at all.Copy !req
446. - You're not a helpful person.
- Don't have to be. I have tenure.Copy !req
447. Doctor...Copy !req
448. There are no practical applications!
Anybody says different is lying.Copy !req
449. I need to be able to show him
I can paint him as against something.Copy !req
450. Children, baseball, fresh air...Copy !req
451. campaign finance. What does it mean
to be against the supercollider?Copy !req
452. - I don't know where to start.
- Come on.Copy !req
453. I really don't.Copy !req
454. Listen, what's your motivation?Copy !req
455. What are you talking about?Copy !req
456. Well, you did me the favor,
and now you're still going.Copy !req
457. I have a history
with this particular senator.Copy !req
458. Well, that's a really
stupid-ass reason, Sam.Copy !req
459. I like to win.Copy !req
460. So this guy ate your Froot Loops...Copy !req
461. - What do you care?
- I don't.Copy !req
462. - What's your motivation?
- I'm a particle physicist.Copy !req
463. Not suddenly. Why now?Copy !req
464. The budget resolution has
to be passed by April 15.Copy !req
465. That means the authorizing bill
to Senate Appropriations...Copy !req
466. has to go up mid-March.Copy !req
467. Now, you can shoehorn a road
or a bridge at the last minute...Copy !req
468. but not 12 billion
for a supercollider. Also...Copy !req
469. I have non-Hodgkin's lymphoma.Copy !req
470. There's something to be said for
giving McGann credibility by inviting him.Copy !req
471. It strengthens him in dealing with
the violent members of his own party.Copy !req
472. Degrees of violent.Copy !req
473. If we legitimize him,
Protestants will wake up...Copy !req
474. and accept they've gotta negotiate.Copy !req
475. You were the author of the president's
speech at the General Assembly?Copy !req
476. - There were many authors.
- Of which you were one.Copy !req
477. The IRA backed out of its promise
to put its weapons beyond use...Copy !req
478. as agreed to
in the Good Friday peace accord.Copy !req
479. True or false? Until it disarms...Copy !req
480. the IRA and its political representatives
in Sinn Féin are a terrorist group.Copy !req
481. - True.
- When did it become...Copy !req
482. policy of the United States
to negotiate with terrorists?Copy !req
483. We've had Arafat here, John.Copy !req
484. And my heaven, isn't that
paying bloody dividends?Copy !req
485. - It wasn't worth trying?
- You're making the mistake of youth.Copy !req
486. The president's not a kid.Copy !req
487. The country is.Copy !req
488. Involving yourself in an old conflict
without sufficient regard for history.Copy !req
489. Listen to the warning of old friends.Copy !req
490. It was Kipling who warned to expect:Copy !req
491. The blame of those ye better
The hate of those ye guardCopy !req
492. But wasn't it James Joyce who said:Copy !req
493. "History is a nightmare
from which I'm trying to awake"?Copy !req
494. Yes, but it was your own great
Irish master, Eugene O'Neill, who said:Copy !req
495. "There is no present or future.Copy !req
496. Only the past happening
over and over again, now."Copy !req
497. So we should butt out of Ireland
until we know what we're doing?Copy !req
498. I'm saying Brendan McGann
cannot come to the White House.Copy !req
499. - Say, speaking of dead Irish writers...
- Yes, another drink.Copy !req
500. Here we go.Copy !req
501. "Awasiwi odanak:
Far from the things of man."Copy !req
502. When Jed first took me to his house,
which is 25 miles from anywhere...Copy !req
503. he said,"Awasiwi odanak:
Far from the things of man."Copy !req
504. - What a jackass.
- I'm gonna open the wine.Copy !req
505. The wine is a '95 old vine zinfandel...Copy !req
506. from Hogue Cellars, which belonged
to King Boudewijn of Belgium...Copy !req
507. and is best sipped while making
anagrams out of the phrase:Copy !req
508. "My husband's an enormous jackass."Copy !req
509. Amy, what are you looking for?Copy !req
510. Anything I can take notes with.Copy !req
511. This is an excellent corkscrew.Copy !req
512. It just slides right in there
like power steering.Copy !req
513. The right tool for the job.Copy !req
514. The corkscrew sucks.
Should I call a steward?Copy !req
515. We don't need to call.
I'm board-certified in thoracic surgery.Copy !req
516. And a good thing too.Copy !req
517. Did Josh have a nutty
on the campaign hiring?Copy !req
518. He's, you know... . He's adjusting.Copy !req
519. Well, let him adjust faster. Jackass.Copy !req
520. - Excuse me.
- Oh, Donna.Copy !req
521. I'm sorry, ma'am.
Josh was looking for Amy.Copy !req
522. She's right here.
Where have you been all night?Copy !req
523. It's a little tough to explain.Copy !req
524. Tougher to explain than
secretly prescribing Betaseron?Copy !req
525. It turns out I'm not
an American citizen...Copy !req
526. so Secret Service wanted me
to talk to INS.Copy !req
527. I was born in Warroad, Minnesota,
only I wasn't.Copy !req
528. INS just clarified the border,
and it's now in Manitoba.Copy !req
529. - You're not an American?
- Missed it by four miles.Copy !req
530. - You seem pretty calm about it.
- No, I'm very upset.Copy !req
531. I don't know my national anthem.
I've thrown out Canadian pennies.Copy !req
532. I've been making fun of the queen.Copy !req
533. - I'm sure it'll all work out.
- Thank you, ma'am.Copy !req
534. - Where are you going?
- They've let me into the party.Copy !req
535. - Stay and have some wine with us.
- Really?Copy !req
536. Yeah.Copy !req
537. That's very nice of you.Copy !req
538. - Probably shouldn't drink, though.
- Don't worry.Copy !req
539. - Canadian, huh?
- Yeah.Copy !req
540. You feel funnier?Copy !req
541. No, but I am developing
a massive inferiority complex.Copy !req
542. - Did it come out?
- Next best thing, it's in the bottle.Copy !req
543. - We'll decant it.
- Now it's a party.Copy !req
544. Yeah.Copy !req
545. This is a good bottle of wine.Copy !req
546. It's almost made me forget
how much cork I swallowed...Copy !req
547. from the first bottle of wine.Copy !req
548. I don't understand.
It was good corkscrew, graphite.Copy !req
549. - C.J.
- Stop talking about the corkscrew?Copy !req
550. - Yeah.
- I wanted to ask you a question...Copy !req
551. but I'm not sure how.
- What?Copy !req
552. If the most they can give you
is a year's suspension, is it...?Copy !req
553. - That big a deal?
- Yes.Copy !req
554. Yes. I'm a doctor.
It's not like changing your major.Copy !req
555. You, of all people...Copy !req
556. I mean, women talk about their husbands
overshadowing their careers.Copy !req
557. Mine got eaten.Copy !req
558. - Your husband got eaten?
- My career.Copy !req
559. Yeah. Well, I'm on
dangling modifier patrol.Copy !req
560. - What's your problem?
- Are you first lady right now?Copy !req
561. What?Copy !req
562. Sometimes you like to talk,
and I think that's great.Copy !req
563. Sometimes you're Abbey and sometimes
my boss. I respect both very much...Copy !req
564. - I'm Abbey.
- Yes, I agree with her.Copy !req
565. They take this job away from me,
I've got nothing.Copy !req
566. I don't have a cat.Copy !req
567. I could get one, but I don't have one.Copy !req
568. Frankly, I'm not wild about cats.Copy !req
569. I don't hate them. I'm just not... .Copy !req
570. - I could learn to like them, I guess, if l...
- C.J.Copy !req
571. You've got a husband and children,
a home and a life.Copy !req
572. We're talking about one year
of not having a medical license.Copy !req
573. Jed got censured and that came
with no tangible penalty.Copy !req
574. It was a banner headline.
He's having a nervous breakdown.Copy !req
575. - That's different.
- Why?Copy !req
576. - Because it is, and you know it.
- I'm first lady again.Copy !req
577. - You are first lady, Abbey.
- Yes.Copy !req
578. And it's not like it's been
a detour from health care.Copy !req
579. What, you've expanded Medicare
to cover mammograms...Copy !req
580. cancer clinical trials. That's money
that could've gone into Viagra.Copy !req
581. You were the one who said'no dice"
to cutting infant nutrition programs...Copy !req
582. nursing-home standards...
- There's plenty of stuff left.Copy !req
583. - That's not the point.
- What's the point?Copy !req
584. - I'm a doctor.
- Mrs. Bartlet, you were also a doctor...Copy !req
585. when your husband said,"Give me
the drugs and don't tell anybody."Copy !req
586. Oh, my God.
You switched back to first lady.Copy !req
587. - That's all right.
- I'm so sorry, Mrs. Bartlet.Copy !req
588. It's okay.Copy !req
589. He took the censure standing up.Copy !req
590. I was very proud to have voted
for him that day.Copy !req
591. Me too.Copy !req
592. Let's get back to the party.Copy !req
593. Okay, here we go.Copy !req
594. Time is tight.Copy !req
595. That's when the juices get flowing.Copy !req
596. I'm not sure we have time
for juices, sir.Copy !req
597. - I could tell the story of the ditchdigger.
- Sure.Copy !req
598. - You know the story?
- I do not.Copy !req
599. Abbey and I are walking,
we see a ditchdigger.Copy !req
600. I said,"You glad you married me?
You could have married him."Copy !req
601. She said,"Jed, if I'd married him,
he'd be president."Copy !req
602. - What do you think?
- No.Copy !req
603. Why?Copy !req
604. It seems like a story
about how cool you are.Copy !req
605. It is.Copy !req
606. - Do you love her?
- Very deeply.Copy !req
607. - That'll work fine.
- No, it won't.Copy !req
608. In my house, anyone who uses one word
when they could've used 10...Copy !req
609. just isn't trying hard.
Let's keep at it.Copy !req
610. The darkness in our sunshine,
the shadow on our souls...Copy !req
611. the biblical sins of the fathers.Copy !req
612. For Americans, it's slavery.Copy !req
613. Slavery is your original sin.Copy !req
614. That and your unfortunate history
with your aborigines.Copy !req
615. Native Americans.Copy !req
616. For the English, it's Ireland.Copy !req
617. Well, they've given us
a couple U.S. presidents...Copy !req
618. a lot of Boston Democrats
and half the New York City Police.Copy !req
619. Not to mention the song,
"Yankee Doodle Dandy."Copy !req
620. Yeah.Copy !req
621. Centuries of home rule foiled by English
conservatives or Ulster Orangemen...Copy !req
622. immortal martyrs, secret tribunals
leading to public hangings...Copy !req
623. followed by war, followed by...Copy !req
624. followed by, followed by... .Copy !req
625. Wouldn't you say we
were doing you a favor?Copy !req
626. By intervening?Copy !req
627. That's the act of a friend.Copy !req
628. What is left to do but talk?Copy !req
629. What could be better for that wounded
place than sitting down and talking?Copy !req
630. - Not to talk to Brendan McGann.
- We can't choose who.Copy !req
631. - Of course you can't.
- Then, what can we do but talk to him?Copy !req
632. Nothing.Copy !req
633. You must talk to him.Copy !req
634. What?Copy !req
635. Toby, despite appearances,
I do have lucid moments.Copy !req
636. And I know that England is running out
of turns in this particular... .Copy !req
637. But as ambassador for Her Majesty's
government, I must tell you that...Copy !req
638. Brendan McGann cannot come
to the White House.Copy !req
639. Yes.Copy !req
640. Understood, Mr. Ambassador.Copy !req
641. Excellent.Copy !req
642. - F.D.R. smoked.
- Yeah.Copy !req
643. In the White House, Campobello,
everywhere.Copy !req
644. Yeah.Copy !req
645. - He got re-elected six or seven times.
- Is there no doctor you can see...?Copy !req
646. Next time the Bartlets invite me
to a party...Copy !req
647. remind me to bring five assistants
and a loaded gun.Copy !req
648. You got my note.Copy !req
649. All infrastructure projects earmarked
for Illinois will be anonymously blocked?Copy !req
650. Let's play our game.Copy !req
651. - Don't make me mad.
- Don't make me laugh.Copy !req
652. I couldn't figure out this on-the-record,
off-the-record crap until Dr. Millgate...Copy !req
653. - This is Dr. Millgate, by the way.
- Churchill smoked.Copy !req
654. Until he told me it'll be built in Illinois.
So you have to be for it on-the-record.Copy !req
655. Off-the-record, it crowds out
all the pork...Copy !req
656. like the Senator Enlow Off-Ramp,
Rest Stop, Hotel and Casino.Copy !req
657. Don't send me notes anymore.Copy !req
658. Sam, screw the Froot Loops.Copy !req
659. Senator!Copy !req
660. I apologize.Copy !req
661. I apologize for my tactics
and my behavior.Copy !req
662. - Okay.
- Okay.Copy !req
663. Please don't let that jeopardize,
you know... .Copy !req
664. The subcommittee should have hearings
and learned testimony.Copy !req
665. I'm a Democrat, Sam.Copy !req
666. How's a $20 billion astronomy lecture
gonna help elect the president?Copy !req
667. It won't."We've discovered a seamless
framework for the universe"...Copy !req
668. isn't a good 30-second spot.Copy !req
669. If we could only say what benefit
this has. No one's been able to.Copy !req
670. That's because great achievement
has no road map.Copy !req
671. The x-ray's pretty good,
and so is penicillin.Copy !req
672. And neither were discovered
with a practical objective in mind.Copy !req
673. I mean, when the electron was
discovered in 1897, it was useless.Copy !req
674. And now we have an entire world
run by electronics.Copy !req
675. Haydn and Mozart
never studied the classics.Copy !req
676. They couldn't. They invented them.Copy !req
677. Discovery.Copy !req
678. - What?
- That's the thing that you were...Copy !req
679. Discovery is what...
That's what this is used for.Copy !req
680. It's for discovery.Copy !req
681. Even if this thing passed the Senate,
it's dead in the House.Copy !req
682. Just as long as democracy's
not dead in the Senate.Copy !req
683. I'll withdraw my anonymous hold.Copy !req
684. - Because you're scared of my threat?
- Yes.Copy !req
685. - Good.
- You think I was a hurdle...Copy !req
686. good luck
with the Appropriations Committee.Copy !req
687. Thank you.Copy !req
688. - See, that wasn't so hard.
- I've gotta get back to the party.Copy !req
689. I've gotta get on a train.Copy !req
690. - We can get you a room for the night.
- No.Copy !req
691. God, Dalton, isn't there anything...?
Sloan-Kettering or...?Copy !req
692. All right.Copy !req
693. Thanks, Sam.Copy !req
694. Now you think I'd make
a good physicist?Copy !req
695. No, but you're not bad
for government help.Copy !req
696. - Mrs. Bartlet?
- Yes.Copy !req
697. Excuse me, but I'm so sorry
about the way I spoke before.Copy !req
698. Oh, don't be. You were good.Copy !req
699. - I've got a surprise for you coming up.
- Really?Copy !req
700. - Excuse me.
- Yes.Copy !req
701. Donna...Copy !req
702. - Actually, first of all, Amy.
- Yes?Copy !req
703. I understand, and I forgive you.Copy !req
704. - You forgive me?
- I do.Copy !req
705. - What the hell kind of thing is that...?
- Honey.Copy !req
706. Thank you for forgiving me, Josh.
I appreciate that.Copy !req
707. - No problem.
- Jackass.Copy !req
708. Donna, you're an American again.Copy !req
709. INS has a grandfather clause.
If you pass a three-part literacy test...Copy !req
710. an American history exam and fill out
a one-page form, you're back.Copy !req
711. - My adopted country.
- Wow, Josh.Copy !req
712. - I wish you'd mentioned this before.
- Why?Copy !req
713. - Wow.
- You were very good in there, Donna.Copy !req
714. What the hell is going on?Copy !req
715. I was gone for 45 minutes.
They were all Americans when I left.Copy !req
716. I know exactly how you feel,
Mr. President.Copy !req
717. I called Nolan.
I know I shouldn't have...Copy !req
718. but the rules are different
when it comes to family.Copy !req
719. There isn't a man
who doesn't understand that.Copy !req
720. I also think partiality
isn't a vice in this case.Copy !req
721. He knows you,
and that's a good thing.Copy !req
722. He's gonna consider
not recusing himself.Copy !req
723. I'm gonna voluntarily forfeit
my license...Copy !req
724. for the duration of our stay
in the White House.Copy !req
725. Okay.Copy !req
726. I'm gonna do a toast in a minute,
and I'll tell the ditch story.Copy !req
727. But I wanted to say
that I love you very much.Copy !req
728. - I love you too, Jethro.
- Don't call me that.Copy !req
729. I think I will.Copy !req
730. Abigail!Copy !req
731. - Lord John.
- Abigail, may I grasp your breasts?Copy !req
732. I'm standing right here.Copy !req
733. - You may kiss my cheek.
- Excellent.Copy !req
734. - Abbey.
- Oh, Gerald.Copy !req
735. I haven't had a chance
to say happy birthday.Copy !req
736. Happy birthday, Abbey.Copy !req
737. Happy birthday, Abbey.Copy !req