1. Previously on The West Wing:Copy !req
2. I'm seeing Amy again tonight.Copy !req
3. Second date?Copy !req
4. First date.
Last night was more of a...Copy !req
5. you know...
- Scheme.Copy !req
6. - You know Amy's seeing somebody?
- I do know that.Copy !req
7. - Josh. Great night for us.
- We'll see.Copy !req
8. - I'm just saying...
- That he's using me.Copy !req
9. I was saying that.Copy !req
10. - How'd it go?
- Not well. Know whose fault that is?Copy !req
11. - John Tandy's.
- No.Copy !req
12. - Hers.
- Yours.Copy !req
13. He's about to be censured,
deliver the State of the Union...Copy !req
14. and then he's gonna
run for re-election.Copy !req
15. My guess is that there are
some things on his mind.Copy !req
16. The Supreme Court has issued
its annual report.Copy !req
17. - Details in this report...
- Iowa voters will pass the first ballots...Copy !req
18. as the presidential primary campaign
officially gets underway.Copy !req
19. President Bartlet...Copy !req
20. Why would I put it back?Copy !req
21. Hello.Copy !req
22. Hello.Copy !req
23. You let anybody up
without asking who it is?Copy !req
24. I thought you were breakfast.Copy !req
25. - You know what?
- What?Copy !req
26. John's never asked to see
the WLC's high-donor database.Copy !req
27. What?Copy !req
28. He's never asked to see
the high-donor database.Copy !req
29. Or any other mailing list.Copy !req
30. So how do you like them apples?Copy !req
31. I just went to sleep
about two hours ago.Copy !req
32. - You think he's using me.
- Is the sun up?Copy !req
33. - I thought you should know.
- Not so much.Copy !req
34. - Those pajamas are too big for you.
- What makes you say that?Copy !req
35. - You've got the bottoms on...
- I know they're too big.Copy !req
36. - What are you doing here?
- Demonstrating, once and for all...Copy !req
37. that John's not using me
to get the women's vote.Copy !req
38. You're flaky, you know that?
You're quite the flake.Copy !req
39. Not once has he asked to see it.Copy !req
40. - I was done with this a month ago.
- Never asked us to sponsor a fundraiser.Copy !req
41. It's early.Copy !req
42. It's January.
Think it's early to raise money?Copy !req
43. No. I'm saying it's 5:00 in the morning.Copy !req
44. I offered him a slot to speak
on safe-haven laws. He declined.Copy !req
45. - He hardly ever takes photo-ops with me.
- He always takes photo-ops with you.Copy !req
46. Yes. Yes, he does.Copy !req
47. But he never runs them
in his congressional newsletter.Copy !req
48. How do you like them apples?Copy !req
49. We're gonna stop with the apples
soon, right?Copy !req
50. Admit you're wrong
and his relationship with me...Copy !req
51. has nothing to do with politics.
- I admit it.Copy !req
52. - Do you mean it?
- No! Of course I'm right.Copy !req
53. Your relationship has everything to do
with politics. He's a power dater.Copy !req
54. That's what power daters do.
Know how I know?Copy !req
55. - Because you're a power dater?
- Right.Copy !req
56. You know how I know
that you're wrong?Copy !req
57. Because you saw his soul and
confronted him in a moment of honesty?Copy !req
58. - Right.
- Then he was sure to tell the truth.Copy !req
59. - Well, he didn't have to.
- Why?Copy !req
60. Because he asked me to marry him.Copy !req
61. - How do you like them apple...?
- No.Copy !req
62. - He asked you to marry him?
- Yes.Copy !req
63. - Want me to talk you out of it?
- You don't have to. I said no.Copy !req
64. - Good.
- I told him we shouldn't see each other.Copy !req
65. - Really?
- Yes.Copy !req
66. Okay.Copy !req
67. - Now you're nervous.
- No, I'm not.Copy !req
68. You and I have spent four nights
together.Copy !req
69. I didn't break up with him for you.Copy !req
70. I'm not pathetic, stalking woman
who, you know, does things.Copy !req
71. We spent six nights with each other.Copy !req
72. - What are you counting?
- Count them all.Copy !req
73. - It was four.
- He just up and proposed?Copy !req
74. - Yes, Hamlet, it's called being decisive.
- No, Ophelia, it's called a political asset.Copy !req
75. - What does it matter now?
- It doesn't.Copy !req
76. That's all you're gonna say?Copy !req
77. I'll say more when you call me
in 30 seconds from your cell phone.Copy !req
78. You know, for the most insecure guy
I've ever met...Copy !req
79. you're pretty sure of yourself.
- Call me from your cell phone.Copy !req
80. That's where the real conversation
always takes place.Copy !req
81. You can't afford pajamas that fit?Copy !req
82. - It's laundry day.
- I'll see you.Copy !req
83. Time number one was on the steps
in front of my apartment.Copy !req
84. You kissed me. It was snowing.Copy !req
85. Time number two was when you
came over after the State of the Union.Copy !req
86. Number three was at your house.
You put on a tape of the Stones...Copy !req
87. at Wembley Stadium, put on
a feather boa...Copy !req
88. and sang'Honky Tonk Women."Copy !req
89. Time number four
involved a variety of hosiery...Copy !req
90. Josh, I'm gonna stop you right here,
okay?Copy !req
91. - Leo?
- Yeah.Copy !req
92. Anybody else in the office?Copy !req
93. - Hey, Josh.
- Hey, Margaret.Copy !req
94. We've got a problem in Vieques
and a caucus in lowa.Copy !req
95. Why don't you come on in to work.Copy !req
96. Yeah.Copy !req
97. to go unchallenged.Copy !req
98. Iowa will cast the first ballots
as the presidential primary season...Copy !req
99. officially gets underway.Copy !req
100. President Bartlet, unchallenged
in the Democratic Caucus...Copy !req
101. arrives in Cedar Rapids today.
On the Republican side...Copy !req
102. Governor Ritchie looks to be
the front-runner in the primary.Copy !req
103. I'm on the plane.Copy !req
104. No, I'm on the plane.Copy !req
105. I'll be coming back tonight.
It's just for the day.Copy !req
106. No, it's just for the day, Dad.
We're coming back tonight.Copy !req
107. I won't be tired.Copy !req
108. I'll sleep if I'm tired,
but I won't be tired.Copy !req
109. Because we're coming back at 8:00,
and I don't get tired at 8:00.Copy !req
110. Plus, I won't be the one flying the plane.Copy !req
111. Oh, my God.Copy !req
112. Dad, because this is how it is.Copy !req
113. If it's in the 48 states,
we come back the same day.Copy !req
114. The taxpayers paid for
a very comfortable and fast airplane...Copy !req
115. and this is what they had in mind
when they did.Copy !req
116. Am I gonna...?Copy !req
117. No.Copy !req
118. Because I don't live in lowa,
I'm not allowed to vote there.Copy !req
119. See, there's always a catch.Copy !req
120. Well, he's unchallenged in
the lowa Caucus, so I like our chances.Copy !req
121. No, Dad, I'm on the plane.Copy !req
122. All right, I'll try and call you later
if there's anything interesting to report.Copy !req
123. Talk to you later.Copy !req
124. Mr. President, ladies and gentlemen,
good morning.Copy !req
125. This is Lieutenant Colonel Gantry.
We're passing through turbulence...Copy !req
126. on our way to a cruising altitude
of 41,000 feet.Copy !req
127. Our flight plan this morning will
take us over Wheeling and Toledo...Copy !req
128. the south shore of Lake Michigan
and over Aurora, Illinois...Copy !req
129. before we make our final approach
to Eastern lowa Airport in Cedar Rapids.Copy !req
130. Our flight time today is one hour
and 52 minutes.Copy !req
131. Is it possible we're riding into town
in a soy-diesel bus?Copy !req
132. There was talk of it,
but that idea got killed off.Copy !req
133. - Okay.
- I'm gonna go back there.Copy !req
134. You zeroed in on a message
for the day?Copy !req
135. How to reform the Freedom to Farm Act?Copy !req
136. - Ritchie's pulled into single digits.
- I saw.Copy !req
137. What a gift from heaven
it would be if he won.Copy !req
138. - Yeah.
- So the 4-H Convention... .Copy !req
139. - I'm not going.
- I don't get it.Copy !req
140. - How can you not see the butter cow?
- I'm that way.Copy !req
141. You understand it's a life-size cow
made entirely of butter.Copy !req
142. - We're not going.
- There's a butter Elvis, Last Supper...Copy !req
143. which has, I swear to God, Toby... .Copy !req
144. - Butter on the table?
- Butter on the table!Copy !req
145. Between butter James and butter Peter.Copy !req
146. An almost mind-blowing vortex
of art and material...Copy !req
147. that dares the viewer
to recall Marcel Duchamp.Copy !req
148. - How do they keep it from melting?
- How indeed?Copy !req
149. - Toby, you have a call in the staff cabin.
- Thank you.Copy !req
150. Butter, butter, butter.Copy !req
151. This is signal operator number 41.Copy !req
152. I have a call from Mr. Seaborn
at the White House.Copy !req
153. - Thank you.
- Duchamp was the father of Dadaism.Copy !req
154. - I know.
- The dada of Dada.Copy !req
155. There's nothing to do about that joke.
It comes, and you just stand there.Copy !req
156. The cow made out of butter? That's how
I like my irony served, my friend.Copy !req
157. I have a phone call that's being relayed
through four satellites.Copy !req
158. Okay.Copy !req
159. - Yeah?
- Hey.Copy !req
160. I'm gonna guess where you are, okay?Copy !req
161. - Okay.
- Wheels-up was 5:35...Copy !req
162. heading west-northwest.Copy !req
163. You're not at cruising altitude yet.Copy !req
164. I'm gonna say an average of 400 knots
with a light headwind.Copy !req
165. - Cumberland, West Virginia. Am I right?
- I have no idea.Copy !req
166. Then we'll say I'm right.
Listen, do you remember Bob Engler?Copy !req
167. - No.
- I met with him a few years ago...Copy !req
168. from U.S. Space Command.Copy !req
169. He told you they were tracking a UFO
over Maui?Copy !req
170. Yes. Do you have any idea why I have
another appointment with him today?Copy !req
171. - I don't.
- Okay.Copy !req
172. Listen. Ritchie made a statement
last night...Copy !req
173. in support of
the Pennsylvania referendum...Copy !req
174. banning use of race
in college admissions.Copy !req
175. I think the president should
say something at the UI campus.Copy !req
176. - About affirmative action?
- Yeah.Copy !req
177. - He shouldn't.
- Why?Copy !req
178. Ritchie's not gonna be
the Republican nominee for president.Copy !req
179. Write up a few sentences
and send it to the plane right away.Copy !req
180. - Yeah.
- Okay.Copy !req
181. - Hi.
- Good morning.Copy !req
182. - I'm a little tired today.
- Really?Copy !req
183. - Yeah.
- From the lovemaking?Copy !req
184. I'm supposed to see Leo.Copy !req
185. I need a favor. I need you
to get me out of jury duty.Copy !req
186. - Why?
- Because I have jury duty.Copy !req
187. - When?
- Tomorrow.Copy !req
188. Why don't you wait till we're closer
and ask me again.Copy !req
189. - Can you do it?
- No.Copy !req
190. - Why not?
- What kind of legal authority...Copy !req
191. do you think I'm empowered with?
- You're powerful.Copy !req
192. You get... Yes. Thank you.Copy !req
193. - You get deferrals, don't you?
- Only four.Copy !req
194. - And?
- I've used them all up.Copy !req
195. It looks like justice is in your hands.Copy !req
196. I don't want it in my hands.
I'm seeing somebody.Copy !req
197. There's nothing I can do for you.Copy !req
198. I'm surprised.
You're such a powerful man.Copy !req
199. All the girls say so. Been zapped
of your power by the lovemaking?Copy !req
200. She's... I don't...Copy !req
201. He's waiting for you.Copy !req
202. - Hey.
- What's going on in Vieques? Protesters?Copy !req
203. Yeah. Something like five ships out of
the U.S.S. Thurman battle carrier...Copy !req
204. steamed in yesterday.Copy !req
205. What they need is final combat
certifications...Copy !req
206. before they can be deployed to the
Indian Ocean, where they're needed now.Copy !req
207. They need to do ship-to-shore gunnery
and air-to-ground bombing exercises...Copy !req
208. before they're certified.
They can't go until certified.Copy !req
209. - Okay.
- All right. So some 40 protesters...Copy !req
210. have planted themselves
in the live target range.Copy !req
211. Sorry. Why am l...?
This is national security.Copy !req
212. One of the protesters, in fact the leader,
apparently is a friend of yours.Copy !req
213. - Billy.
- Yeah.Copy !req
214. - Arrest him, it's what he's waiting for.
- He's a known actor...Copy !req
215. a well-loved young man
in the Hispanic community.Copy !req
216. He's with other men from
the Hispanic community.Copy !req
217. - Wait them out.
- They got supplies. We don't have time.Copy !req
218. He's got a cell phone.
We've got the number.Copy !req
219. No.Copy !req
220. - Yeah.
- Leo, if I wasn't working here...Copy !req
221. I'd probably be with him down there.
- Yeah, but you're working here.Copy !req
222. This is a crappy thing to do
with friendship.Copy !req
223. - Things aren't supposed to be personal.
- We're at DEFCON-4.Copy !req
224. I'm sorry, we're arranging the call.Copy !req
225. Check a whip count, but I don't think
we'd get 60 votes on a cloture motion.Copy !req
226. We lose eight Democrats who don't
wanna spend capital on foreign aid.Copy !req
227. We lose eight Democrats once they find
there is a foreign-aid budget.Copy !req
228. - Anything else?
- Thank you, Mr. President.Copy !req
229. What's up?Copy !req
230. Well, Ritchie made a statement
last night...Copy !req
231. in support of the referendum
in Pennsylvania.Copy !req
232. Sam's gonna work on a few lines
in response.Copy !req
233. If he makes statements that force me
left, I don't gotta swing at every pitch.Copy !req
234. Everybody thinks it'll be Simon.Copy !req
235. You and I know different.Copy !req
236. Overnights have Ritchie
in single digits.Copy !req
237. Every candidate's dream opponent, huh?Copy !req
238. - Yeah.
- I'll take a look at what Sam does.Copy !req
239. - We should respond.
- I'll take a look at it.Copy !req
240. Thank you, Mr. President.Copy !req
241. The race officially began today
as the lowa Caucus got underway.Copy !req
242. Come in.Copy !req
243. - What's going on?
- I'm waiting for a phone call.Copy !req
244. I mean, in Vieques.Copy !req
245. Billy Molina and some people
ran the Coast Guard line.Copy !req
246. They're camped in the live target range.
A carrier has to fire on the range...Copy !req
247. or they can't be certified
and can't be deployed.Copy !req
248. And they have to be deployed.Copy !req
249. - So they're hooking you up with Billy?
- Yeah.Copy !req
250. It's a strange day when I'm involved
with national security.Copy !req
251. I was thinking the same thing.Copy !req
252. - You know what else?
- What?Copy !req
253. Tandy asked Amy to marry him.Copy !req
254. - Seriously?
- She said no.Copy !req
255. Yeah.Copy !req
256. - That happened fast, don't you think?
- No, no.Copy !req
257. - Don't do this.
- What?Copy !req
258. - I recognize this.
- As what?Copy !req
259. She didn't break up with him for you.
I guarantee.Copy !req
260. She is a fully independent woman.
She's the real thing.Copy !req
261. Stop looking at her differently
than yesterday.Copy !req
262. I just said it was fast.Copy !req
263. Next, you'll find reason
to be mad at her.Copy !req
264. - You're wrong.
- Guys like you?Copy !req
265. - Yeah?
- I'm one of them.Copy !req
266. - Josh?
- Yeah.Copy !req
267. He's on.Copy !req
268. Billy, it's Josh.Copy !req
269. Okay, just tell me a couple things first.Copy !req
270. Is everybody okay? Is anybody hurt?Copy !req
271. "The American dream is opportunity.Copy !req
272. Together we must give every child the
chance to reach for his or her dreams.Copy !req
273. This is why we must ensure
the opportunity is real...Copy !req
274. that the dream is neither deferred
nor denied...Copy !req
275. that hope isn't a privilege
for the few..." This is Sam's?Copy !req
276. No, I reworked it.Copy !req
277. "But a promise for all generations
to follow."Copy !req
278. I've read it. I don't know where
you stand on affirmative action.Copy !req
279. - I was trying to avoid a quote.
- As well as nouns and pronouns.Copy !req
280. It's purposely nonspecific.Copy !req
281. - I don't know what we're talking about.
- We get word to friends...Copy !req
282. I was nodding in the direction
of affirmative action.Copy !req
283. How about if we oppose it...Copy !req
284. then get word out you were kidding?
- Nobody's questioning where we stand.Copy !req
285. I don't wanna campaign today!Copy !req
286. - What happened to writing a new book?
- We will, but we don't...Copy !req
287. Man, we don't have to piss people off
every day...Copy !req
288. in order to demonstrate
that we're not...Copy !req
289. - Yes.
- We're going to lowa...Copy !req
290. where we won.
I'm not ignoring the state.Copy !req
291. I say,"Thanks for getting me elected,"
and we're back on the plane.Copy !req
292. I don't think it's a good idea
for us to fight for news coverage...Copy !req
293. with governors, senators and the head
of the church of'I Hate You."Copy !req
294. Let's just get in under the radar.Copy !req
295. - Yes, sir.
- I'll say a few words.Copy !req
296. - Yes, sir.
- That's it.Copy !req
297. Thank you, Mr. President.Copy !req
298. What did he say?Copy !req
299. They say something in the primary
that forces us left so we...Copy !req
300. - Is that how it works?
- Yes.Copy !req
301. - Tell me more, Obi-Wan.
- I'm saying...Copy !req
302. He's going to a college. It's a good time
to talk about affirmative action...Copy !req
303. when it comes to admissions.Copy !req
304. Yeah.Copy !req
305. What?Copy !req
306. Our fathers didn't need
affirmative action.Copy !req
307. - And they were children of immigrants.
- Our fathers needed the GI Bill.Copy !req
308. - I'm the wrong Democrat to talk to.
- Why?Copy !req
309. Because... .Copy !req
310. After my father fought in Korea,
he became...Copy !req
311. what the government begs
every graduate to become.Copy !req
312. He became a teacher, and he raised
a family on a teacher's salary...Copy !req
313. and he paid his taxes
and crossed at the green.Copy !req
314. Any time there was opportunity
for career advancement...Copy !req
315. it took him extra time because
there was a less qualified black woman.Copy !req
316. So instead of retiring
as superintendent...Copy !req
317. of the Ohio Valley Union
Free School District...Copy !req
318. he retired head
of the math department...Copy !req
319. at William Henry Harrison Junior High.Copy !req
320. - How is he these days?
- Who?Copy !req
321. Your dad.Copy !req
322. He's fine.Copy !req
323. - We got cut off.
- We know.Copy !req
324. Cell phone went dead.
They have to recharge it.Copy !req
325. They need a solar recharger.
That takes a few hours.Copy !req
326. - Why a few hours?
- For the weather to clear.Copy !req
327. When you get back on the phone,
we'd like you to stand tougher.Copy !req
328. - Excuse me?
- I said, we'd...Copy !req
329. - Then you get on the phone.
- Look...Copy !req
330. This isn't a hostage situation.
It's a protest.Copy !req
331. - One where...
- You... Excuse me, sir.Copy !req
332. You're free to arrest or shoot them,
but we won't, because it's bad politics.Copy !req
333. - Remember what the thing is here.
- This is not the time to protest.Copy !req
334. Puerto Rico lived under Spain for four
centuries, under the U.S. for one.Copy !req
335. In 500 years, it hasn't determined
its own destiny for five minutes.Copy !req
336. They're using depleted uranium shells,
napalm, cluster bombs.Copy !req
337. Vieques has a cancer rate 25 percent
higher than the rest of Puerto Rico!Copy !req
338. When is the time to protest?
I'll tell them. They'll do it.Copy !req
339. We'll need you in a few hours.Copy !req
340. Thank you.Copy !req
341. One hundred anti-choice votes.
I'm not fine with it.Copy !req
342. A Congress that votes to ban
late-term abortions...Copy !req
343. even when a woman's life
is in danger.Copy !req
344. Affordable daycare
is a contradiction in terms.Copy !req
345. Gag rules and old men who think
women's issues should be the subject...Copy !req
346. of PTA meetings and not
the U.S. House of Representatives.Copy !req
347. I'm not fine with it.
The WLC's not fine with it.Copy !req
348. Women aren't fine with it.Copy !req
349. It's really something every two years
we get to overthrow the government.Copy !req
350. Guess what's coming up
in November?Copy !req
351. In 10 months,
we can make the difference.Copy !req
352. Let's get out the vote,
get ourselves organized.Copy !req
353. Let's get the Congress we deserve.
Thank you, and may God bless America.Copy !req
354. - Hi.
- Hi.Copy !req
355. - Hear the whole thing?
- I heard you overthrow the government.Copy !req
356. - That's always money in the bank.
- Tell me about it.Copy !req
357. Hey, guys, could I have the room
for a minute?Copy !req
358. Is there someone who can take care
of Henry?Copy !req
359. - What do you have against Henry?
- Nothing. I love Henry.Copy !req
360. Who takes care of him
when you go away?Copy !req
361. - I leave him with my sister.
- What do you think about going away?Copy !req
362. - Where?
- Tahiti or Paris.Copy !req
363. Venice. We can go to Epcot
if you want.Copy !req
364. - Tahiti?
- Lie on the beach, dance at night...Copy !req
365. reggae, a little UB40.
- Reggae's the Caribbean.Copy !req
366. - They don't have reggae in Tahiti?
- We should find out.Copy !req
367. - I'm sorry?
- I said, I think we should find out.Copy !req
368. - We should.
- When?Copy !req
369. - Day after tomorrow.
- Okay.Copy !req
370. - Okay.
- Okay.Copy !req
371. I'll buy tickets, make reservations.Copy !req
372. - Go.
- I'm going.Copy !req
373. - Not going fast enough.
- When I walk out...Copy !req
374. I'm buying plane tickets.
- When I walk out, I'm buying bikinis.Copy !req
375. I'm going fast now.Copy !req
376. Mr. President, can you speak on
the environmental impact on water?Copy !req
377. Well, farming isn't the only cause
or even the main cause...Copy !req
378. but it's a significant land use
in watersheds and runoff...Copy !req
379. and dairy operations
from hog and poultry operations.Copy !req
380. They can be carried into drinking water
by rainfall and snowmelt.Copy !req
381. It's what's called
nonpoint source pollution.Copy !req
382. - Yeah, over here.
- Mr. President...Copy !req
383. Donald Atwell, lowa City Standard.Copy !req
384. Governor Ritchie came out this morning
in support...Copy !req
385. of the Pennsylvania referendum
banning affirmative action...Copy !req
386. with regard to college admission,
and I was wondering if you'd comment?Copy !req
387. You know what? Now that we've
abolished discrimination in our laws...Copy !req
388. we need to abolish it
in our hearts and minds.Copy !req
389. Thanks a lot, everybody.
It's great to be back in lowa.Copy !req
390. Thanks a lot.Copy !req
391. Sam?Copy !req
392. - Sam, old man.
- Yes.Copy !req
393. I need you to give me
voir dire coaching.Copy !req
394. - You wanna be chosen for a jury?
- I wanna not be chosen for a jury.Copy !req
395. All right. The lawyers are gonna ask you
general questions and...Copy !req
396. - For instance?
- Do you know any reason why...Copy !req
397. you can't render an impartial verdict?
- I hate criminals.Copy !req
398. Do you have prejudices or feelings
that might influence the jury?Copy !req
399. I assume if you're in a courtroom,
you did something wrong.Copy !req
400. - The judge is gonna throw you in jail.
- Sam?Copy !req
401. Here I go.Copy !req
402. - Bob?
- Sam.Copy !req
403. - How have you been?
- I've been well.Copy !req
404. Hey, you know what?Copy !req
405. You remember that UFO
you were tracking over Maui?Copy !req
406. Turned out to be an abandoned
Russian satellite.Copy !req
407. One of its rockets didn't fire,
so it couldn't re-enter.Copy !req
408. - So you'd have us believe.
- No, really.Copy !req
409. Yes, of course.Copy !req
410. - Why don't we get to it, Bob.
- Absolutely, Sam.Copy !req
411. On behalf of two congressmen...Copy !req
412. I would like permission to tour
the U.S. Bullion Depository.Copy !req
413. - Where's that?
- Fort Knox, Kentucky.Copy !req
414. - Talk to the Treasury Department.
- We have.Copy !req
415. And not at all surprisingly,
they've said no.Copy !req
416. - Why do you want to?
- It's been brought to our attention...Copy !req
417. that of the 8500 metric tons of gold
that are stored there, only 1000 remain.Copy !req
418. - Really?
- Yes, sir.Copy !req
419. - Who brought it to your attention?
- Let's just say a friend of ours.Copy !req
420. - Human friend or...?
- Sam, I know what you think of me...Copy !req
421. and the work I do. I've lived
with this attitude my whole life.Copy !req
422. My father lived with it too.Copy !req
423. I'm seeking a presidential order
for the depository to be audited.Copy !req
424. - I'll pass that along.
- I'm sure you will.Copy !req
425. - Bob...
- Has the president ever toured the vault?Copy !req
426. - No.
- No, only two presidents have.Copy !req
427. Roosevelt and Truman.Copy !req
428. You think there's something funny
going on?Copy !req
429. l, and two congressmen,
think the gold has been replaced.Copy !req
430. With what?Copy !req
431. I won't get sucked into this.
I won't.Copy !req
432. - The Papoose Lake spacecraft...
- No such thing.Copy !req
433. taken from Roswell to Groom Lake
in 1947.Copy !req
434. A little piece of land called Area 51,
my friend.Copy !req
435. This is Dungeons & Dragons camp
all over again.Copy !req
436. We tested U-2 planes at Area 51.Copy !req
437. This is why in '57,
they had to take Papoose to Fort Knox.Copy !req
438. Ten years ago, the secretary
of the Air Force...Copy !req
439. concluded an exhaustive search
for records.Copy !req
440. Oh, I read it.
And my father read it.Copy !req
441. The report concluded
the activities in the desert...Copy !req
442. were balloon research.
- It was.Copy !req
443. - A crew was retrieved.
- They were anthropomorphic dummies.Copy !req
444. Sam, patronize me, laugh at my work...Copy !req
445. but please don't minimize the lifetime
my father spent in this pursuit.Copy !req
446. The man had three Ph.D.s.Copy !req
447. There were bodies
at Roswell Army Airfield Hospital.Copy !req
448. Excuse me.Copy !req
449. - When did your dad pass away?
- Pardon?Copy !req
450. - When did he pass away?
- Three months ago.Copy !req
451. Excuse me.Copy !req
452. - Listen.
- I'm sorry, but I'm in there with this guy.Copy !req
453. He insists the government is concealing
evidence of extraterrestrial contact...Copy !req
454. and that we've got it at Fort Knox.Copy !req
455. We made a deal with Billy.
They'll pull off the island right away.Copy !req
456. In exchange, we meet with
a delegation, political affairs, Navy...Copy !req
457. - Won't look like we caved?
- We'll be slapped by the right.Copy !req
458. - But they won't wanna piss off Latinos.
- Good.Copy !req
459. You know what else?
I'm going to Tahiti with Amy.Copy !req
460. - You're kidding.
- Day after tomorrow.Copy !req
461. - So this guy...
- Yeah, the thing is...Copy !req
462. he inherited the family business.Copy !req
463. I gotta go online
and buy Tahitian things.Copy !req
464. Okay.Copy !req
465. - Bob.
- Yes?Copy !req
466. I was just talking to... .Copy !req
467. Let's just say I talked
to an associate.Copy !req
468. This associate has higher clearance
than I do.Copy !req
469. And?Copy !req
470. You can keep pursuing this,
and I imagine you will...Copy !req
471. but we can't give you
the proper paperwork...Copy !req
472. you'll need to audit the vault.Copy !req
473. - You understand?
- Oh, I think I understand.Copy !req
474. - Do you?
- Wink's as good as a nod to a blind man.Copy !req
475. Yeah.Copy !req
476. Listen, these two congressmen,
they're Democrats?Copy !req
477. I'm not at liberty to say.Copy !req
478. I understand.Copy !req
479. - Thank you very much.
- Thank you, Sam.Copy !req
480. Mr. President, ladies and gentlemen...Copy !req
481. this is Lieutenant Colonel Gantry.Copy !req
482. We'll reach our cruising altitude
of 37,000 feet...Copy !req
483. in approximately 20 minutes
as we pass over Elgin, Illinois...Copy !req
484. Detroit, Akron
and McKees Rocks, Pennsylvania...Copy !req
485. before we begin our final descent
to Andrews.Copy !req
486. - Enjoy the flight.
- It's happening. It is.Copy !req
487. - He was good.
- No, he wasn't.Copy !req
488. - He was what he was supposed to be.
- He was Uncle Fluffy.Copy !req
489. - It's Dr. Jekyll and Uncle Fluffy again.
- He didn't respond to Ritchie.Copy !req
490. - I totally agree that it's too early.
- He was asked the question.Copy !req
491. He was asked the question.Copy !req
492. No word on the Republicans?Copy !req
493. There's a poll
that has Ritchie pulling even.Copy !req
494. That'd be too much to hope for.Copy !req
495. There's an old expression.Copy !req
496. "When the gods wish to punish us,
they answer our prayers."Copy !req
497. Anyway, he's doing it again.Copy !req
498. - You wanted me?
- Yeah. It's set.Copy !req
499. - The meeting?
- Yeah.Copy !req
500. - Great. Good is gonna come from this.
- Maybe.Copy !req
501. Maybe, yeah, but how often
do you get the...?Copy !req
502. - Yeah.
- When's the meeting?Copy !req
503. Day after tomorrow.Copy !req
504. - You're kidding.
- No.Copy !req
505. - Perfect.
- We wanted to do it right away.Copy !req
506. - Yeah.
- What's the problem?Copy !req
507. - Nothing.
- What's the problem?Copy !req
508. - There's a woman I've been...
- Amy Gardner.Copy !req
509. - Yeah.
- I hear things.Copy !req
510. - I know.
- I try to forget them quickly.Copy !req
511. We were supposed to...
This is ridiculous, but...Copy !req
512. - We were supposed to go away.
- Where?Copy !req
513. It doesn't matter.
We've had trouble getting...Copy !req
514. - Day after tomorrow?
- Go.Copy !req
515. - I can't.
- Go.Copy !req
516. I need to be here for this.Copy !req
517. - No, you don't.
- Don't worry about it.Copy !req
518. My wife lives in my house,
I live in a hotel, and this is why.Copy !req
519. Yeah, okay.Copy !req
520. Well, I'm glad it's taken care of.Copy !req
521. - I'm glad we got the meeting.
- Okay.Copy !req
522. - Listen.
- Yeah.Copy !req
523. The trick is appearing unsuitable,
not just for this...Copy !req
524. but for any jury
while avoiding a contempt citation.Copy !req
525. Wouldn't you think if I explain
that my boss is a lawyer...Copy !req
526. my lawyer's a lawyer, I'm dating...?
- It's jury duty, not an appendectomy.Copy !req
527. It's jury duty. Do it, don't do it.
If you don't...Copy !req
528. you don't get to complain
about the O.J. verdict.Copy !req
529. - Hello?
- Amy.Copy !req
530. - Josh?
- Yeah.Copy !req
531. I've just said,"Hello, how are you?"
in Tahitian.Copy !req
532. Now you say:Copy !req
533. - Which means,"I am fine."
- I can't go day after tomorrow.Copy !req
534. - Yeah.
- I mean, I can go another time...Copy !req
535. but I can't go day after tomorrow.
- It was sudden for you.Copy !req
536. It was pretty sudden
for anybody, Amy.Copy !req
537. - You're the one who asked me.
- There was a problem in Vieques today...Copy !req
538. and we came to a good resolution.Copy !req
539. - There's a meeting day after tomorrow.
- Leo's making you stay?Copy !req
540. No, he's not. I wanna stay.Copy !req
541. - Okay.
- For one, it involves a friend of mine...Copy !req
542. and he did something
he didn't wanna do and... .Copy !req
543. I just wanna make sure his back
is covered.Copy !req
544. - Look, don't get angry at me.
- I'm not.Copy !req
545. You're getting preemptively angry
with me...Copy !req
546. which assumes I'm other people...Copy !req
547. and I'd rather be a political
asset, if you know what I mean.Copy !req
548. I do.Copy !req
549. When you're done
comparison-shopping, call.Copy !req
550. Well, I'd definitely be waiting
by your phone, Josh. Take it easy.Copy !req
551. - Josh?
- Yeah.Copy !req
552. You might not care, but you officially
won the lowa Democratic Caucus.Copy !req
553. If the occasional Caucasian
loses a promotion...Copy !req
554. - We'll have to agree to disagree.
- I don't like that. Got it?Copy !req
555. - Here.
- You phoned for research?Copy !req
556. This is Washington on the need
for a national university.Copy !req
557. - I'm tired.
- It's brief.Copy !req
558. Toby, please.Copy !req
559. "In the general juvenile period of life
when friendships are formed...Copy !req
560. and habits established
that will stick by one...Copy !req
561. youth from parts of the U. S...Copy !req
562. would be assembled together
and would, by degree...Copy !req
563. discover there was not just cause
for the jealousies and prejudices...Copy !req
564. which one part of the union
invited against one another."Copy !req
565. He said,"We banished discrimination
from our laws...Copy !req
566. now let's banish it
from our minds and hearts."Copy !req
567. - Who?
- The president. In lowa.Copy !req
568. He said,"Let's banish it
from our minds and hearts."Copy !req
569. How does affirmative action do that?Copy !req
570. - I'm talking about college admissions.
- I'm talking about my father.Copy !req
571. - Why?
- Because he's not doing fine.Copy !req
572. He forgets things.Copy !req
573. He forgets things.Copy !req
574. - He's not a young guy.
- I'm not talking about dates...Copy !req
575. and phone numbers.Copy !req
576. - I know.
- He forgets what's going on.Copy !req
577. He thought this was
the general election today.Copy !req
578. And he snaps back in, but... .Copy !req
579. And I... .Copy !req
580. I think sometimes that if he'd...Copy !req
581. lived the life he wanted to... .Copy !req
582. He's gotta watch me bopping around
on Air Force One.Copy !req
583. Hey! Welcome back.Copy !req
584. Have you seen the butter cow
at the 4-H Convention?Copy !req
585. I have. And the butter Last Supper
with the butter.Copy !req
586. Yes.Copy !req
587. Know what the Bob Engler meeting
turned out to be?Copy !req
588. - UFO guy?
- Yeah. He thinks...Copy !req
589. the government's keeping alien bodies
at the Bullion Depository in Fort Knox.Copy !req
590. What are we keeping
in the depository in Fort Knox?Copy !req
591. - Soup?
- No, seriously.Copy !req
592. There used to be 8500 metric tons
of gold there.Copy !req
593. - Now most of it's been moved out.
- Yeah.Copy !req
594. - What's there now?
- I wouldn't ask a lot of questions.Copy !req
595. - What do you mean?
- Don't worry about it.Copy !req
596. Okay. I'm going back to my office.Copy !req
597. Call him.Copy !req
598. Coming.Copy !req
599. Donna told me to come over.
What's going on?Copy !req
600. Thanks for coming.Copy !req
601. Something's wrong with the lights.Copy !req
602. Let me feel around for a switch here.Copy !req
603. You did this?Copy !req
604. A little piece of Tahiti
right here in Georgetown.Copy !req
605. Would you like a Samoan Fog Cutter
or a Navy Grog?Copy !req
606. A Samoan Fog Cutter
has three kinds of rum...Copy !req
607. including Bacardi 451.Copy !req
608. And... .Copy !req
609. The difference between that
and a Navy Grog is...Copy !req
610. Did you ask me over
to exchange recipes?Copy !req
611. Should I change?Copy !req
612. Into what?Copy !req
613. I remember a pair of big pajamas.Copy !req
614. Yeah, good thinking.Copy !req
615. - You can turn on the news, you know.
- I don't wanna turn on news.Copy !req
616. Just to see how they're covering lowa.Copy !req
617. by 12 points...Copy !req
618. President Bartlet lost
by 12 points...Copy !req
619. - Sir?
- Yeah?Copy !req
620. Can you see Toby?Copy !req
621. - No.
- Yes, sir.Copy !req
622. Charlie.Copy !req
623. Send him in.Copy !req
624. - Good evening, sir.
- Thought you had gone home.Copy !req
625. I was just watching
some of the coverage.Copy !req
626. - It's gonna be Ritchie.
- Yeah.Copy !req
627. - I mean, it's gonna be Ritchie.
- I know.Copy !req
628. It would've been... I don't know,
it would have seemed obnoxious.Copy !req
629. It would've seemed like grandstanding.Copy !req
630. - You want some bourbon?
- Thanks.Copy !req
631. What do you think?Copy !req
632. I was a telemarketer for about a week.Copy !req
633. I can't remember what we were selling,
but you worked off a script.Copy !req
634. "Hi, good evening.
My name is... ."Copy !req
635. And Toby Ziegler was okay
for New York.Copy !req
636. But once I got into other time zones,
I needed a name...Copy !req
637. that wasn't gonna bother anybody.Copy !req
638. Toby, if you have something to say,
please say it.Copy !req
639. Ritchie's good for all time zones.Copy !req
640. My family signed
the Declaration of Independence.Copy !req
641. Think I've got an ethnicity problem?Copy !req
642. - A line isn't between light and dark skin.
- Yeah?Copy !req
643. It's between educated
and masculine.Copy !req
644. Or Eastern academic elite
and plainspoken.Copy !req
645. - It's always been like that.
- But a funny thing happened...Copy !req
646. when the White House
got demystified.Copy !req
647. The impression was left
anybody could do it.Copy !req
648. - Tell me something I don't know.
- It's one thing Ritchie came out...Copy !req
649. for the Pennsylvania referendum,
but the way he articulated it... .Copy !req
650. His presence. The clear sign he wasn't
personally engaged with the facts...Copy !req
651. His staff was cringing, I promise.
And we let it go.Copy !req
652. - It wasn't the moment...
- You were asked the question.Copy !req
653. Do you have anything else?Copy !req
654. Sir, I don't think I need to tell you
that the level of respect...Copy !req
655. with which the staff speaks of you
doesn't change depending on...Copy !req
656. whether or not you're in the room.
- But?Copy !req
657. Well, there's always been a concern
about the two Bartlets.Copy !req
658. The absent-minded professor
with the'Aw, Dad" sense of humor...Copy !req
659. disarming, unthreatening,
good for all time zones.Copy !req
660. And the Nobel Laureate...Copy !req
661. still searching for salvation.
Lonely, frustrated. Lethal.Copy !req
662. - Gonna sing a country-western song?
- Whose father never liked him...Copy !req
663. because he was too smart.
- This stopped being fun.Copy !req
664. - Sir?
- It was actually never fun for me.Copy !req
665. I was just being polite.Copy !req
666. Your father used to hit you,
didn't he, Mr. President?Copy !req
667. Excuse me?Copy !req
668. Your father used to hit you, sir?Copy !req
669. - Yeah.
- Not like a spanking?Copy !req
670. - He hit me. Why?
- He punched you.Copy !req
671. - I'm done being polite.
- Because you made him mad.Copy !req
672. - You didn't know why.
- Toby, it was a complicated relationship.Copy !req
673. - Can I help you?
- It's because you were smarter.Copy !req
674. It was complicated.Copy !req
675. He didn't like you.
That's why he hit you.Copy !req
676. That's why people hit each other.Copy !req
677. - You were smarter.
- Why are we talking about this?Copy !req
678. So maybe if you get enough votes...Copy !req
679. win one more election, you know?Copy !req
680. - Maybe your father...
- You have stepped way over the line!Copy !req
681. Any other president would have your ass
on the sidewalk right now.Copy !req
682. They'd have had you on the sidewalk
a long time ago.Copy !req
683. I don't know what goes on
in a Brooklyn shrink's office...Copy !req
684. but get it the hell out of my house!Copy !req
685. Thank you, Mr. President.Copy !req