The West Wing 2x7

1. Previously on The West Wing.

2. Mr. Tribbey.

3. I see they found you an office.

4. Such as it is.

5. Good men and women

6. have worked in whatever room was available in this building

7. and have done so without complaint.

8. Can we clear up a few things about my level of interest

9. in the revolving door of local gomers that you see?

10. I have no problem with a reporter dating

11. the Press Secretary.

12. Well, I have a problem, so...

13. He wants to meet with me on the way back?

14. Yes, sir.

15. On the way back?

16. Yes, sir.

17. The Assistant Energy Secretary

18. is flying to Portland in the middle of the night

19. so he can meet with me on Air Force One on the way back.

20. Yes, sir.

21. The day-to-day experience of my life

22. has changed in many ways since taking this job.

23. I would imagine, sir.

24. C.J.: Before we get on the plane, let me give you

25. a couple of additions to the passenger manifest.

26. Gerald Wegland, Assistant Energy Secretary

27. is now on the flight, as well as Mr. Latham

28. the head of the White House Military Office

29. or WHAMO, as we have apparently taken—

30. over my strong objection— to calling it.

31. Also on this evening's trip

32. are Deputy Communications Director Sam Seaborn

33. and, well... me.

34. I thought you weren't going on the trip.

35. I am now going on the trip.

36. Are you being punished?

37. I'm not being punished. I'm going on the trip.

38. Well, if the whole bus goes off the record

39. will you tell us why you're going on the trip?

40. I made fun of Notre Dame.

41. No, no, no.

42. I usually get away with it.

43. They're playing Michigan tomorrow.

44. I know that now.

45. You can't bring that stuff

46. when they're playing Michigan.

47. Well, I'll have a lot of time

48. to think about that on the midnight ride

49. to Portland, Danny. Wheels-up is 9:05.

50. We'll touch down in Portland

51. a little before midnight local time.

52. Mr. President?

53. How you doing?

54. I just got off with Bruno and Hess.

55. I'm sorry?

56. I said I just off with Bruno and Hess.

57. You didn't say, "Michigan sucks"?

58. No, sir.

59. I thought you said, "Michigan sucks."

60. No, sir. We're standing pretty close to the engines

61. so it may have sounded like I said

62. "Notre Dame is going to get the ass-kicking

63. they so richly deserve."

64. Bruno and Hess? Yeah.

65. We stopped a tanker in the Gulf.

66. Whose?

67. Yeah... It's Cypress- flagged, but...

68. They tracked them coming out of Qais.

69. We think they got oil? Yeah.

70. We gonna board them? Yeah.

71. Anything else I should know? No, sir.

72. I'll see you tomorrow night.

73. Have a good flight, Mr. President. Thank you.

74. Hey, C.J.

75. Good evening, Mr. President.

76. How you doing?

77. Very well, sir, thank you.

78. I think it's great you decided to make the trip.

79. I believe I was ordered to, Mr. President.

80. Yes! I remember now. You made one of your funny, funny jokes.

81. Yes, sir.

82. Put it on.

83. Mr. President...

84. Put it on.

85. Sir, I'm wearing Max Mara.

86. It's going to break up the...

87. Put in on.

88. Please let nobody see me like this.

89. Hey, photo op.

90. Oh, good God.

91. Let's hit the sky.

92. Did he look tired?

93. No, he looked fine.

94. You told him about the tanker?

95. Yeah. I wish he'd canceled the event.

96. It's a long flight.

97. He likes long flights.

98. He gets to talk to everybody and think out loud.

99. Yeah, but then he lands.

100. Yeah, so? Well, then he lands.

101. Anyway, I'm going to meet with, uh, Matt Skinner.

102. Tonight?

103. Yeah.

104. He's going to say the language in the bill doesn't prohibit...

105. Yeah, but it creates a Federal definition.

106. Still, at the State level...

107. Yeah. Are you sticking around tonight?

108. The President's going to have to make a decision from the plane.

109. Okay, I have to go.

110. Donna's about to seize the phone.

111. All right.

112. Leo, he likes long plane rides.

113. Yeah.

114. Can I have the electricity back on?

115. No.

116. Why?

117. It's time to go.

118. Not for me. Matt Skinner's coming down from the Hill.

119. When did this happen?

120. Two minutes ago. Did you have plans?

121. Did I have plans?

122. Did you? Look at me.

123. Hey, you look good!

124. Yes, I do.

125. You weren't wearing that during the day today.

126. Pity the girl who tries to get something past you, Josh.

127. Did you steal that dress?

128. I bought this dress.

129. But you're returning it tomorrow.

130. Yes, I am. That's stealing.

131. I'm giving it back.

132. After wearing it once.

133. There's a word for this. It's "stealing."

134. I'm a girl on a budget, Josh— I'm being thrifty.

135. Yes, and felonious.

136. What are your plans? Look...

137. What are your plans?

138. We're having drinks, we're having dinner

139. we are dancing, we are having dessert.

140. No problem. You can do all those things

141. except for the drinks, the dancing and the dessert

142. and you need to be done with dinner

143. in an hour and five minutes.

144. Do you see what I'm wearing?

145. If you want to have sex, you better do it during dinner.

146. This is the guy, Josh.

147. This is a great guy.

148. His name is Todd.

149. You met him for five minutes at a party.

150. I got the good vibe.

151. Okay.

152. I have an excellent sense about these things.

153. You actually have no sense about these things.

154. You have no vibe.

155. You have terrible taste in men

156. and your desire to be coupled up

157. will always and forever drown out

158. any small sense of self or self-worth that you may have.

159. You're a downer, you know that?

160. I'm calling you Deputy Downer from now on.

161. Be back by the time I'm done with Skinner.

162. Captain Good evening, ladies and gentlemen

163. from the flight deck.

164. We're just passing through 22,000 feet

165. en route to our cruising altitude of 38,000 feet.

166. Our flight plan this evening

167. will take us over Pittsburgh and Cleveland

168. passing 190 miles south of the University of Notre Dame

169. then over Rapid City, South Dakota

170. Casper, Wyoming...

171. Toby?

172. Let me see it.

173. Can I talk to you a second?

174. Is it done?

175. It's not. Sam.

176. It's not... it's not good.

177. It's not going well.

178. We've had meetings...

179. Toby...

180. for the last three weeks.

181. I'm not confused about policy.

182. What's the problem?

183. I'm not writing well. I'm just...

184. I'd rather not distribute this to the pool yet.

185. Mr. Ziegler, Mr. Seaborn

186. do you know what you'd like for dinner?

187. We'll be eating in the conference room.

188. I'll have a club sandwich, Jack Daniels and ice.

189. Mr. Seaborn? Nothing for me.

190. You have to have something.

191. I'm fine.

192. Bring him a club sandwich.

193. Yes, sir.

194. Nice hat.

195. Shut up.

196. Sam and I are going to work for a little bit.

197. You'll have draft copies

198. to distribute to the press in about three hours.

199. It was already distributed.

200. W-what do you mean?

201. It was already distributed.

202. You have to get it back.

203. I can't get it back. C.J...

204. They know you're polishing it.

205. I'm doing more than polishing it, C.J.

206. You got to get it back.

207. I'll tell them there's a new draft, and...

208. You've got to get the old draft back.

209. They're not going to read it.

210. So what? They might.

211. It's very bad writing and it's got

212. Sam! my fingerprints all over it.

213. C.J., try to get it back. Come on.

214. Miss Cregg, do you know what you'd like for dinner?

215. Try to get it back.

216. Yeah.

217. Miss Cregg, do you know what you'd like for dinner?

218. We've got pasta salad?

219. It's good.

220. I'll take it.

221. C.J.

222. Mr. President.

223. What does the island of Qais mean to you?

224. I know it's known as a rendezvous point

225. for Iraqi oil smugglers.

226. About two hours ago

227. we stopped a Cypress- flagged ship called the Nicosia.

228. We believe it to be carrying petroleum products out of Iraq

229. in violation of U.N. sanctions.

230. What do we do when that happens?

231. We board the ship, we test a sample of the oil

232. we determine its point of origin

233. and if it's black- market, the oil company gets fined.

234. Don't they also get to sell the oil?

235. Yes.

236. Doesn't the profit from the sale exceed the fine?

237. It dramatically exceeds the fine.

238. So, what do you think we should do?

239. If you're going to have sanctions, have sanctions.

240. There should be genuine disincentive.

241. I agree. Charlie?

242. Here you go.

243. What's this?

244. The lyrics to the Notre Dame fight song.

245. It would please me

246. if you would lead the press in a rendition

247. as we pass over South Bend.

248. Yes, sir.

249. All five verses, please.

250. Go, Irish.

251. You bet your ass.

252. Yes, ma'am.

253. Yes, could I have a chocolate chip muffin

254. a can of Fresca and a bag of ice, please?

255. We don't have Fresca.

256. Really?

257. No, ma'am.

258. You should really have Fresca.

259. Yes, ma'am.

260. I'll take a ginger ale.

261. Ainsley?

262. Good evening, Leo.

263. What's with the fan?

264. I just went and got it from my apartment.

265. It's 17 degrees outside.

266. Then I should move my desk outside

267. 'cause it's 103 in my office.

268. The heat's not working?

269. No, the heat's working great.

270. I can vouch for that personally.

271. Okay.

272. You should really have Fresca in the building.

273. I'll get right on that.

274. Hey, Matt.

275. You let Donna out?

276. Temporarily. She's having dinner.

277. Oh, with who?

278. A guy she has no future with.

279. Why no future?

280. Because I say so. You want some coffee or something?

281. Uh, you got a beer?

282. Yeah.

283. It's too bad this is going to be rushed.

284. I'm sorry?

285. It's too bad we're talking about this

286. for the first time right now.

287. I would've thought that was by design.

288. Really?

289. The ten days are up tomorrow. We know.

290. We know you know.

291. Josh, the language doesn't prohibit same-sex marriage.

292. Of course it does.

293. It ensures that, for the purposes of Federal programs...

294. that government will define marriage

295. as a union between a man and a woman.

296. That's right, while doing nothing

297. to prohibit gay marriage on a state level.

298. While doing nothing to prohibit it?

299. If you look at the language.

300. Matt.

301. Yeah?

302. When this bill was being discussed on the floor

303. there were some very ugly things said about homosexuals.

304. Yes.

305. They were said by members of your own party.

306. In fact, they were said by one of the guys

307. who escorted you here tonight who's sitting

308. out in the lobby.

309. Yes, they were.

310. You support this bill.

311. Yes, I do.

312. Congressman...

313. You're gay.

314. Yes, I am.

315. What's going on, Mark?

316. The Sudanese captain of the tanker refused

317. to let Navy personnel board.

318. Oh, man.

319. A CH-47 Seahawk helicopter

320. was dispatched from the destroyer USS Monterey.

321. The copter tried to land

322. but seamen obstructed the deck with freight.

323. What else did they obstruct the deck with?

324. They fired warning shots.

325. From what?

326. Russian-made Kalashnikovs.

327. AK-47s.

328. Yes, at which point the Seahawk

329. retreated to its carrier group.

330. Where are we now?

331. Central Command's going to have

332. two F-18s buzz the ship, fire warning shots over the bow.

333. There's no way this ends good.

334. In fact, it's already over.

335. It's not over yet.

336. Trust me. I'll call the President.

337. Yeah?

338. You have a phone call.

339. From whom?

340. Can I just say that all I meant before

341. was that if I was married

342. and got divorced and my divorce papers came

343. and I was an alcoholic, I would want to be...

344. The President. Who's on the phone?

345. Yes, sir.

346. What's our goal?

347. I'm sorry, sir?

348. What are we trying to do?

349. We're trying to seize the ship and escort it to Bahrain.

350. All right. The F-18 pilots.

351. They fire warning shots; maybe take out the propeller.

352. Leo, just so they know— it's a tanker full of crude oil.

353. If they miss the propeller and hit something else...

354. They know.

355. Excuse me, Mr. President.

356. Would you stop looking

357. at me like that?

358. What was that?

359. Margaret was giving me a look.

360. Why?

361. My divorce papers came today.

362. She thinks I'm going to drink.

363. I didn't know that.

364. Don't worry about it, Mr. President.

365. I'll keep you posted.

366. Okay.

367. Why don't I have a final draft of tomorrow morning's...?

368. Toby and Sam are working on it.

369. What's wrong with it?

370. Sam doesn't like the writing.

371. Sam wrote it.

372. He's taking another swing.

373. All right.

374. "I'm calling on all Americans

375. "young and old, Democrat, Republican

376. or none of the above, to make education a national priority."

377. Okay.

378. "None of the above."

379. It's a pedestrian phrase and has no place.

380. Yeah.

381. Also, was education not a national priority before?

382. Right.

383. It's an easy fix.

384. No. All we need to do is...

385. No, what?

386. No, it's not an easy fix.

387. Sam...

388. This should...

389. Yeah?

390. Oratory should raise your heart rate.

391. Oratory should blow the doors off the place.

392. We should be talking

393. about not being satisfied with past solutions.

394. We should be talking about a permanent revolution.

395. Where have I heard that?

396. Yeah. Permanent revolution?

397. I got it from a book.

398. What book?

399. The Little Red Book.

400. You think we should quote Mao Tse-tung?

401. We do need a permanent revolution.

402. Still, I think we'll stay away from quoting Communists.

403. Sam... You think a Communist never wrote an elegant phrase?

404. How do you think they got everybody to be Communists?

405. Let's take a walk.

406. Toby, you're the one for the last six months

407. who's been saying we need a radical approach...

408. Yes, yes, I have, and I got shouted down in every meeting.

409. I'd love to write a speech

410. about a radical new approach to education

411. but we don't have one!

412. So unless we can come up with an idea

413. and implement it before landing in Portland

414. I prefer not to paint a picture

415. in the interests of great oratory.

416. Let's take a walk.

417. Can't great oratory inspire an idea that can be implemented?

418. We had six months. We're not doing it half-assed.

419. We're not doing it tonight. Let's go.

420. Where?

421. Up and down the plane; get the blood flowing.

422. Mao knew how to get the blood flowing.

423. Let's go.

424. Hey, Donna.

425. Hey, Leo.

426. That's a nice dress.

427. Thank you, sir.

428. You weren't wearing that dress

429. earlier today, were you?

430. You guys are sharp as tacks, you know that?

431. Did you have a date?

432. Yeah. With who?

433. It doesn't matter.

434. Where'd you eat?

435. Phoebe's.

436. Ah, good. You know what you get there?

437. You tell Dario, the chef, that you work for me

438. and that you want the flash-seared escolar with foie gras butter

439. and the fresh juniper berry gravlax

440. on a bed of shaved fennel.

441. You have a nice '87 Petrus with that.

442. What'd you have?

443. Two whiskey sours and a bowl of soup.

444. Ah, okay.

445. I should tell Josh I'm back.

446. He's in the mess.

447. Thanks.

448. Hey, Leo?

449. Yeah?

450. I hope you don't mind.

451. Margaret mentioned that your divorce...

452. Oh, come on.

453. Yeah. She mentioned that the papers came today

454. and she was worried that maybe...

455. Margaret worries if the sun is going to rise.

456. Go check in with Josh.

457. Okay. He's in the mess?

458. Yeah.

459. It passed.

460. I know.

461. I know, Matt. It passed the Senate... with 85 votes.

462. 29 Democrats voted for it.

463. It passed the House with 342 votes.

464. Our polling numbers are the same as yours—

465. 60% of Americans oppose legally sanctioned gay marriage.

466. The people want the bill.

467. Congress wants the bill.

468. The President needs to sign the bill.

469. Public opinion can be wrong, Matt.

470. The public opposed interracial marriage and school integration.

471. You want me to reach back into the nostalgia file?

472. That's entirely different.

473. How's it different?

474. The government has a responsibility

475. to protect the rights of minorities

476. but it can't impose the minority's values on the majority.

477. Freedom of choice isn't a minority value

478. just because the majority

479. doesn't agree with the minority's choice.

480. Excuse me.

481. Hey.

482. Uh, I'm back.

483. Hi, Congressman. Hey, Donna.

484. How was your date?

485. Uh, it was good.

486. Josh, I'll be around.

487. Thanks.

488. Josh, all the Marriage Recognition Act does

489. is ensure that a radical social agenda

490. isn't thrust upon an entire country

491. that isn't ready for it yet.

492. 32 states have passed laws banning same-sex marriage.

493. The states are doing a fine job protecting themselves

494. from a radical social agenda without a Federal shield.

495. Josh... I like you guys

496. who want to reduce the size of government—

497. make it just small enough so it can fit in our bedrooms.

498. When do you have to call the President?

499. I got time.

500. Hmm.

501. Let's have another beer.

502. How's everybody doing?

503. C.J., why'd the flight take off so late?

504. We took off on time.

505. No, I mean why was it scheduled late?

506. I'm doing a sidebar.

507. I'm not sure. The President

508. had a budget meeting earlier.

509. Maybe they were expecting it to run long. I'll find out.

510. Listen, I'd like you to give me back the draft copies

511. of the morning education speech.

512. We're going to replace them.

513. No. A policy shift?

514. A new program?

515. They're just polishing the language.

516. If there's a policy shift or a new program

517. it'd help to have

518. the old text to compare...

519. There isn't a policy shift.

520. There isn't a new program.

521. This is Sam being Sam.

522. Has political pressure from the NEA

523. forced changes in...?

524. Nothing's forced changes in the speech.

525. There are no policy shifts and no new initiatives

526. I guarantee you.

527. Carol?

528. Yeah. Excuse me.

529. Guys, they're in your press packets.

530. If you can just hand them forward.

531. He wanted me to tell you

532. that we're approaching South Bend

533. and that he likes to hear the song

534. at a brisk and steady tempo.

535. Oh, kill me now.

536. Leo.

537. Yeah.

538. Colonel Chase.

539. Mark, tell me we didn't hit anything.

540. No. F-18s fired over the bow and the tanker stopped.

541. We boarded?

542. Yeah, but the crew threw the log and the registry overboard.

543. Mark...

544. Also the ship's manifest.

545. How do these people think this is going to end?

546. What is their best-case scenario?

547. I just go where you point me.

548. I'm going to have to brief Fitzwallace now.

549. Yeah. Thanks, Mark.

550. Yeah. Margaret!

551. Can you get me Secretaries Hutchinson and Berryhill?

552. Yeah.

553. And I need Air Force One the next free minute he's got, okay?

554. Yeah.

555. That's usually

556. pretty hard to get through Congress.

557. Why? Subway money.

558. It's a northeastern thing?

559. Once you get south of DC or west of Chicago

560. there aren't any subways

561. and the ones they've got, nobody's using.

562. What about Miami and San Francisco?

563. Come in.

564. L.A., Miami, San Francisco, maybe someday

565. but nobody's using them now.

566. So pavement's going to win this battle.

567. Yes, sir.

568. Okay.

569. Thanks, Steve.

570. Thank you, Mr. President.

571. Thank you.

572. Thank you, Mike.

573. Nice hat.

574. Thank you.

575. Ernesto Perez Balladares, former President of Panama...

576. You know where he went to school? Notre Dame.

577. Yes, sir. Also Joe Garagiola.

578. Was that a crack?

579. No, sir. I understand you'd like to hear the song now?

580. Yeah, but we got to do it later.

581. The Tokyo exchange just opened

582. and I'm going to gauge the impact

583. of Pacific Rim banking reforms—

584. a subject economics scholars could take years on.

585. I will take 20 minutes.

586. Speaking of which, Mr. President

587. I was asked about the late departure tonight.

588. I thought we left on time.

589. The late scheduled departure.

590. You don't like late flights?

591. No, I was just repeating...

592. A long flight across the night.

593. You know why late flights are good?

594. Because we cease to be earthbound

595. and burdened with practicality.

596. Ask the impertinent question.

597. Talk about the idea

598. that nobody has thought about yet.

599. Put it a different way.

600. Be poets.

601. If you absolutely must.

602. Tell Toby.

603. He doesn't want to use the phrase

604. "permanent revolution."

605. In education?

606. Yes. Mr. President...

607. Mao took a lot of long plane flights, Toby.

608. Look out your window.

609. Is there anything more romantic than that?

610. And that's why we left at 9:05?

611. No, we left at 9:05

612. because they thought my budget meeting might run over

613. but wouldn't it have been great if that was the reason?

614. Yes.

615. You don't like "permanent revolution"?

616. It's a nifty phrase

617. but I think if we call for a permanent revolution

618. people are, you know, going to expect one.

619. Mr. President?

620. We're flying, Toby.

621. Live a little. Yeah.

622. Mr. McGarry.

623. Oh, Leo...

624. just take the damn boat.

625. Hello?

626. Is that C.J.?

627. It's Donna Moss.

628. Hi.

629. What happened?

630. I can't turn the heat down.

631. Did you try?

632. No, I just looked

633. at the thermostat and got discouraged.

634. Really?

635. Of course I tried.

636. Ah.

637. I could grow papayas in here.

638. It's a nice office.

639. It's the steam pipe distribution venue.

640. It's got character.

641. I think I'm losing weight.

642. You want to come work upstairs in the bullpen?

643. I need to concentrate.

644. Nobody's here.

645. No, I'm fine, thank you.

646. Okay.

647. I just came down to say hi.

648. And I'd talk, but I just...

649. I need to get this done.

650. I'll leave you alone.

651. Thanks.

652. What are you working on?

653. I'm making notes for Josh.

654. Ah. Yeah.

655. Interesting. Yeah.

656. The Constitutional questions involved.

657. Yeah.

658. Full Faith and Credit.

659. Right.

660. Do you and I look alike?

661. I'm sorry?

662. Do we look alike?

663. No.

664. That's what I thought.

665. I didn't think we looked alike.

666. Yeah.

667. Have you ever thought

668. about dyeing your hair red?

669. You should. No. Why?

670. It'd look good. We don't look alike.

671. No, and I tell people that.

672. I'm going to go work upstairs.

673. I'll see you tomorrow.

674. I think because of the alabaster skin

675. and the farm girl looks that... You're wiggin' out.

676. Yes.

677. You sure you don't want to work upstairs?

678. No, it may be hot down here, but at least it's quiet.

679. Okay.

680. Boy, I could use a Fresca.

681. You're going to quote

682. the Bible to me?

683. I didn't. Really?

684. My point, which was

685. parenthetical at best

686. is that the founders based the country

687. on a Judeo-Christian morality...

688. and that the biblical concept Mattof marriage

689. maybe can't be separated from the law

690. quite as easily as you'd like.

691. The founding fathers made it very clear

692. that they didn't want Judeo-Christian morality

693. within ten city blocks of the law. Matt!

694. What?

695. What?

696. Nothing.

697. You understand that gay partners will be permanently ineligible

698. for survivor benefits, Medicare, Medicaid...

699. Which the government can't afford to pay out anyway.

700. So we caught a break there.

701. It's getting pretty late.

702. I had more notes.

703. Yeah? Carol.

704. Did you get the old drafts back?

705. Of the education speech?

706. Yeah.

707. Yeah. Good.

708. Everybody except Danny.

709. Excuse me?

710. Danny wanted to keep his.

711. Excuse me.

712. What's the problem?

713. How you doing?

714. What's the problem, Danny?

715. C.J., there's no reason why

716. I should give that draft back and you know it.

717. You can't even believe you're asking me for it

718. so unless you're here to give me a hot towel...

719. Everybody else gave it back.

720. Then everybody else can buy my paper tomorrow.

721. I'm guaranteeing you all

722. no substantive changes, no new policy initiatives.

723. You don't have to guarantee me.

724. I've got the old copy right here.

725. I certainly hope

726. we don't accidentally send your luggage to Belgium

727. on the way back.

728. Yeah, I wouldn't want to find out what it's like

729. to be inconvenienced by the White House.

730. It was the budget meeting, by the way.

731. What's that?

732. The reason we took off late.

733. It was the budget meeting

734. although there's something to be said...

735. Something to be said

736. for what?

737. Nothing.

738. "I was raised

739. "to appreciate the value of teachers and teaching.

740. "My grandmother, who began her teaching career

741. in a one room schoolhouse..."

742. Actually, it was two rooms.

743. Okay.

744. Italian stonecutters were paying her

745. to teach their kids English in the basement of the rectory.

746. They put up a wall and made it two rooms

747. as a thank-you gift.

748. We'll change it to two rooms.

749. I haven't heard the big idea.

750. Sir, the speech is in pretty good shape now.

751. Yeah.

752. "As you know, I began my campaign..."

753. What happened to 100,000 new teachers?

754. Sir? No money?

755. No teachers. Toby!

756. There aren't 100,000 new teachers.

757. We can't make people be teachers.

758. We can give incentives.

759. In certain districts, there are tax incentives...

760. It's not doing the trick.

761. No. No, I know, but for right now...

762. What's that mean?

763. I'm sorry?

764. What does that mean?

765. I was just scribbling.

766. You wrote down, "Send them to college."

767. I was just scribbling.

768. What did you mean, "Send them to college"?

769. No, 'cause it's like circling horses in the paper

770. but not making the bet.

771. Tuition incentives.

772. Mr. President.

773. Talk, Charlie.

774. Mr. President, if this was an idea

775. somebody would've had it already.

776. I find fault with that formula.

777. Well...

778. What?

779. The government will send you to college or law school

780. or medical school

781. if you spend three years in the armed forces

782. when you graduate.

783. College tuition to anyone

784. who wants to go to college

785. in exchange for they teach in a public school

786. we send them to for three years.

787. Why can't that idea be floated?

788. Anybody know how we pay for it?

789. That comes next.

790. Yes, it does come next

791. so for the moment, why don't we...?

792. Kick this around.

793. Mr. President...

794. I'll be in my study.

795. It's an incredible sky tonight.

796. Ladies and gentlemen

797. this is Colonel Beech from the flight deck.

798. We've been told there's some choppy wind ahead

799. and we've been cleared to climb to 42,000 feet.

800. 57% of the people...

801. I know

802. what 57% of the people say.

803. What 58% of them say is that gay spouses

804. should receive health benefits

805. and 54% say social security benefits

806. and by the way, we haven't talked about the 14th Amendment.

807. Josh, the 14th Amendment...

808. I think a strict interpretation of the Equal Protection clause

809. would dictate that homophobia can't be made into a law.

810. That's for the court to decide

811. but I think they'll uphold it.

812. Laurence Tribe disagrees with you.

813. Laurence Tribe doesn't sit on the U.S. Supreme Court.

814. Five Justices...

815. Josh, I came here as a friend.

816. I think you know that.

817. What does that have to do with it?

818. I came here 'cause I came here.

819. Look, this is going to be a law

820. whether the President vetoes or not.

821. They have the votes in the Senate to override...

822. The Senate's not in session.

823. The President can stick this in his pants pocket and it's vetoed.

824. And it will come back in January

825. and you will have to live through this twice

826. and you will lose both times.

827. Ask me the question.

828. He compared homosexuality

829. to kleptomania and sex addiction, Matt.

830. Yes.

831. The Majority Leader, the leader of your own party.

832. He was wrong and I told him so.

833. For crying out loud.

834. How can you be a member Ask mof this party? Josh.

835. You've been holding that in for way too long, man.

836. This party that says who you are is against the law.

837. You know, I never understood

838. why you gun control people don't all join the NRA.

839. They've got two million members.

840. You bring three million to the next meeting

841. call a vote.

842. All those in favor of tossing guns... bam! Move on.

843. It's a heck of a strategy, Matt.

844. I'll bring that up at a meeting.

845. I agree with 95% of the Republican platform.

846. I believe in local government.

847. I'm in favor of individual rights rather than group rights.

848. I believe free markets lead

849. to free people

850. and that the country needs

851. a strong national defense.

852. My life doesn't have to be about being a homosexual.

853. It doesn't have to be entirely about that.

854. Thanks for coming by.

855. Thanks for the beer.

856. How'd it go?

857. He'll sign it.

858. I can tell McDougal?

859. Yeah.

860. Good job, Congressman.

861. Take your hand off my shoulder, Congressman.

862. The speech is fine now.

863. Toby... The speech is fine.

864. 100,000 college scholarships?

865. It's an overly simplistic...

866. You wanted me?

867. You should tip the press off we may float

868. an education initiative.

869. I just told... We're not floating.

870. We might float, I'm saying

871. and you should give them a heads up.

872. Excuse me. I need to go look like an idiot.

873. We're not floating a policy initiative, Sam.

874. I don't care if it's a trip to the moon on gossamer wings.

875. Look... It's pie-in-the-sky

876. to say nothing of patronizing to have

877. privileged Ivy Leaguers play teacher

878. to America's most vulnerable children.

879. The people taking advantage of this

880. aren't going to be overprivileged.

881. How do you suppose the Teacher" Union'll feel about it?

882. They'll have 100,000 new members.

883. All of whom will leave after three years. Most of whom.

884. The kids will be abandoned as well.

885. They won't be abandoned. Their teachers will leave.

886. Once you're in the fifth grade, what do you care

887. what your fourth grade teacher's doing?

888. Sam.

889. Toby, these people are going to be role models to kids

890. who don't have much contact

891. with young, successful college graduates

892. many of whom have grown up in neighborhoods just like theirs.

893. Sam... Toby, we could...

894. Sam! where are we getting the money?

895. Where are we getting the money?

896. I was really mortified that I froze up on that speech.

897. Yeah.

898. You should've told me a few days ago.

899. Yeah.

900. I play the flute.

901. I'm a flautist.

902. In high school, I was the best in my row

903. and so I ask myself

904. if I'd pursued the flute professionally

905. would I be meeting interesting men?

906. And the answer comes back to me:

907. Probably not.

908. I played the trombone.

909. Did you meet interesting men?

910. Yeah.

911. Is it a hard instrument to learn

912. if I took it up now?

913. Talk to me about the Full Faith and Credit clause.

914. It says that full faith and credit

915. shall be given by each State to the public Acts, Records

916. and Judicial proceedings of every other state.

917. It means if you're married in Maryland

918. it's got to be recognized by Nebraska.

919. So how is the Marriage Recognition Act

920. not unconstitutional?

921. 'Cause it also says that Congress

922. can prescribe the manner in which

923. such acts and records are proved

924. which means they can decide what being married means

925. within the context of Article IV.

926. Josh?

927. Yeah?

928. Toby.

929. Yeah.

930. What's going on?

931. I'm going to tell him to sign the damn thing.

932. Okay.

933. How's his mood?

934. He's frustrated, he's feeling...

935. Yeah. You know, when he goes off on a thing, Toby

936. he expects you to bring him in.

937. He wants you to do it

938. so he doesn't have to do it himself.

939. Josh, off the top of your head

940. what do you think about tuition incentives...?

941. Pilot Ladies and gentlemen

942. from the flight deck.

943. We're 82 miles south of the runway

944. and beginning our initial descent.

945. If I could ask you all to find seats. Thank you.

946. What was that?

947. We're landing.

948. No, I mean, what were you...?

949. Nothing.

950. All right, I'll talk to you later.

951. I'm going to talk to Leo.

952. I'll see you guys Monday.

953. Good night.

954. Take it easy.

955. Did you know she played the trombone?

956. I didn't.

957. Tonight stunk, Josh.

958. I'm sorry about that.

959. I didn't mean having to work

960. although that was a treat.

961. I meant the guy.

962. Who was he?

963. A lobbyist with Travis-West.

964. He was pretty full of himself

965. and without a lot of cause to be.

966. An obnoxious insurance lobbyist...

967. What were the odds?

968. It isn't funny, Josh.

969. I got to go see Leo.

970. I'll call you in the morning.

971. You looked really great

972. in that dress tonight, Donna.

973. You should buy it for yourself.

974. President Yeah.

975. Yeah.

976. We hold the ship in Bahrain.

977. It doesn't do anything to hold the ship in Bahrain.

978. Sir, we hold the ship in Bahrain and send a sample of the oil

979. to the U.S. Customs lab in San Francisco.

980. If the point of origin violates sanctions...

981. Yeah, you know what's going to happen?

982. They'll sell off the cargo in a friendly port—

983. 780,000 metric tons of gas oil

984. against a $2 million fine for the oil company.

985. Mr. President...

986. Which their profits from the sale will more than cover.

987. We're not providing much of a disincentive

988. to evade U.N. sanctions.

989. What else is there to do?

990. If we're going to have sanctions at all

991. I think that we should make them stick.

992. I think that we should confiscate the cargo

993. seize the ship, sell the oil

994. and use the money to beef up anti-smuggling operations.

995. You don't mean tonight.

996. You mean in the future.

997. We're landing, Mr. President.

998. Yeah, in the future.

999. Okay.

1000. Josh wants to talk about the...

1001. Hang on.

1002. You need me?

1003. I can wait.

1004. Yeah?

1005. The Marriage Recognition Act.

1006. Yeah.

1007. Folks, we'll be landing in just a few minutes.

1008. Follow the blue signs to your bus.

1009. Oh, one thing before we land.

1010. When I said before that there'd be

1011. absolutely no policy shifts or new initiatives

1012. in the education speech tomorrow

1013. that was correct, except it's possible

1014. there might be a policy shift or a new initiative

1015. in the education speech tomorrow.

1016. C.J.!

1017. There isn't going to be a change.

1018. There isn't going to be a change. Danny?

1019. He's not going to give it back.

1020. Danny, Sam choked hard on the last draft

1021. and wants to burn it.

1022. No problem.

1023. No problem?

1024. Tell him to relax. He'll get his swing back.

1025. Yeah.

1026. Tell him I didn't read it.

1027. Thanks.

1028. You were just having a little go at me, weren't you?

1029. Yeah, it's a long flight.

1030. So you decided to kill time by...

1031. Yeah. You know why?

1032. Tell me you went to Notre Dame.

1033. Maybe next time you won't be so quick to mock

1034. on the eve of a Michigan game.

1035. There must be an escape hatch here of some kind.

1036. The Constitutional argument...

1037. I don't care about

1038. the Constitutional argument, Josh

1039. it's gay bashing.

1040. Yes, sir, but...

1041. It's legislative gay bashing.

1042. How do I put my name on it?

1043. I wouldn't, sir.

1044. I'd put it away.

1045. A pocket veto's a politician's way out.

1046. They'll send the bill again when they're in session.

1047. Meanwhile we focus on

1048. the Employment Non-Discrimination Act.

1049. If I'm going to sign it in January

1050. why am I vetoing it now?

1051. A symbolic gesture to the gay community.

1052. I'm sure the gay community can't wait to thank me.

1053. Mr. President?

1054. This is just wrong.

1055. Yeah.

1056. You can look at the polling numbers

1057. and Article IV and Social Security benefits.

1058. It doesn't matter. It's just wrong.

1059. We shouldn't be defining love

1060. and we certainly shouldn't be ill-defining it.

1061. It's wrong. This is the job for...

1062. It's the job of somebody else.

1063. Well, right now, it's ours.

1064. It's wrong.

1065. Sir.

1066. I should get out a rubber stamp that says

1067. "Josiah Bartlet votes no."

1068. It's exactly what the conservatives

1069. are hoping you'll do.

1070. I should get out a rubber stamp.

1071. Sir?

1072. Put it in a drawer.

1073. Yes, sir.

1074. Thank you, Mr. President.

1075. We'll talk at the hotel.

1076. Okay.

1077. All right.

1078. Have a good night.

1079. You, too.

1080. Hey, Leo, Margaret mentioned...

1081. Oh, come on, Josh.

1082. No, she just said...

1083. My divorce papers came today.

1084. She thinks I'm going to drink.

1085. Sounds like a pretty good reason to.

1086. I'm an alcoholic.

1087. I don't need a good reason to.

1088. You want to have coffee someplace?

1089. I want to go home.

1090. Okay.

1091. I'll see you on Monday.

1092. Margaret, I'm going.

1093. Okay.

1094. You're a good girl.

1095. Okay.

1096. C.J.: Sir?

1097. Yeah.

1098. You're off the phone? Yeah.

1099. There was a question?

1100. For a sidebar on the game tomorrow.

1101. Why did you go to Notre Dame?

1102. Why not?

1103. Bearing in mind that I'm just

1104. repeating someone else's question

1105. you were accepted at Harvard, Yale and Williams.

1106. Why did you go to Notre Dame?

1107. 'Cause I was thinking about becoming a priest.

1108. Really?

1109. Yeah.

1110. What happened?

1111. I met Abbey.

1112. Why can't you ever give me answers like that

1113. when we're running for something?

1114. 'Cause I like to bother you.

1115. Well, I shall not be defeated.

1116. Sit down.

1117. Okay.

1118. Mr. President.

1119. Toby.

1120. Here's a final draft.

1121. Toby, you should sit down.

1122. We're landing in a minute and ten seconds.

1123. How do you know that?

1124. I set my watch to the cockpit computer.

1125. You should sit down.

1126. Thank you.

1127. You know why the Assistant Energy Secretary

1128. is on the plane?

1129. You have a meeting with him on the way back.

1130. That's right.

1131. I think Charlie's idea was a good one.

1132. I think you should ask Leo to put together a team

1133. to study the feasibility of appropriations

1134. for a pilot program with a hundred teachers.

1135. They're taking the tanker to Bahrain

1136. and the company's going to make a profit.

1137. Yes, sir.

1138. The Marriage Recognition Act is going to be law.

1139. Yes, sir.

1140. A hundred new teachers?

1141. Yeah.

1142. Instead of 100,000.

1143. Yeah.

1144. Well, it's a start, I guess.