1. Previously on The West Wing:Copy !req
2. I didn't make the decision
to run again.Copy !req
3. I wouldn't do that without you.Copy !req
4. Sometimes I wonder
if I listened to
you two years agoCopy !req
5. would I be President right now?Copy !req
6. Do you ever
wonder that?Copy !req
7. No, sir, I know it for sure.Copy !req
8. Do you get
that you have MS?Copy !req
9. Abbey...Copy !req
10. Do you get that your
own immune system is
shredding your brain?Copy !req
11. I've had one episode
in two years.Copy !req
12. Mr. President, is there anything
we need to talk about?Copy !req
13. Not yet, okay?Copy !req
14. Okay.Copy !req
15. One teaspoon of salt,
one cup of cornflakes crumbsCopy !req
16. a pinch of white pepper.Copy !req
17. C.J.:
Dear Dad, first of all,
happy birthday.Copy !req
18. Second of all, let me explainCopy !req
19. why I'm not
on my way there right now.Copy !req
20. You're not going
to believe thisCopy !req
21. but it's because
of a filibusterCopy !req
22. a filibuster
that no one ever saw coming—Copy !req
23. not the Senate leadership,
not the party leadershipCopy !req
24. and not meCopy !req
25. and if you're angry at meCopy !req
26. well, you've got
a lot of company.Copy !req
27. I'm going to explain all this.Copy !req
28. Right now, it's Friday nightCopy !req
29. and everyone's trying
to get out the doorCopy !req
30. only I won't let them.Copy !req
31. from the pan
and drain on absorbent paper.Copy !req
32. 24 shrimp will yieldCopy !req
33. approximately
four to six servings.Copy !req
34. This isn't happening.Copy !req
35. For an accompaniment, I suggest
tartar sauce or chili sauce.Copy !req
36. C.J.?Copy !req
37. Yeah?Copy !req
38. What the hell is he doing?Copy !req
39. It's a recipe for deep-
fried fan-tailed shrimp.Copy !req
40. Yeah, but what's he still
doing up there?Copy !req
41. He's got a recipe book.Copy !req
42. How long will it go?
I don't know.Copy !req
43. I'm saying, how many
recipes are there?Copy !req
44. All together?
Yeah.Copy !req
45. I can't cook,
but I thinkCopy !req
46. there're probably
like, 20 or 30.Copy !req
47. You're screwing
around with me.
Oh, yeah.Copy !req
48. I'm about to miss
the 7:30 shuttle.Copy !req
49. If I miss the 8:30Copy !req
50. I miss the last train
to Sag Harbor.Copy !req
51. You can spend
the night in New York.Copy !req
52. I've only got two
nights, and you got
to see this house.Copy !req
53. It's cool?
It's a Frank Lloyd Wright.Copy !req
54. Isn't it cold in
Sag Harbor right now?Copy !req
55. We wear sweaters.Copy !req
56. It's a Tommy Hilfiger ad.Copy !req
57. He can't last forever.Copy !req
58. He's got 20 or 30 recipes
he could still read.Copy !req
59. Sam, seriously, there're
more recipes than that.Copy !req
60. Who cares?Copy !req
61. He's blowing my weekend
in the Hamptons.Copy !req
62. Maybe he doesn't know
about the sweaters.Copy !req
63. C.J.:
The reason they needed
to stick aroundCopy !req
64. is that the moment
the filibuster's overCopy !req
65. there'll be a vote, and once
they vote, I need my spin boys.Copy !req
66. C.J.!
I know.Copy !req
67. Who gave him
the recipe book?Copy !req
68. I really don't thinkCopy !req
69. we can blame this
on the recipe book.Copy !req
70. Plus, I now know the secret
to Cold Asparagus ChantillyCopy !req
71. is a quarter cup
of whipped cream.Copy !req
72. I'm going to
Port Saint LucieCopy !req
73. which may not mean
anything to youCopy !req
74. but it happens to be
the spring training home of...Copy !req
75. Of the New York Jets.
Yes, you've told me.Copy !req
76. Josh, you can watch
basketball on TV.Copy !req
77. Yes, except
the New York KnicksCopy !req
78. are a basketball team.Copy !req
79. The New York Jets
are a football team.Copy !req
80. Port Saint Lucie is the spring
training home of the New York...Copy !req
81. Mets! Yes, damn it.Copy !req
82. I'm inadequate.Copy !req
83. A weekend at
spring training, C.J.Copy !req
84. Mike Piazza's going to beCopy !req
85. standing in
the batting cage.Copy !req
86. He's going to turn
and see me.Copy !req
87. He's going to say, "Dude."Copy !req
88. Well, I wouldn't
want you to missCopy !req
89. a legitimate dude sighting.Copy !req
90. So I can take off?Copy !req
91. No.Copy !req
92. C.J.:
Why do I need the spin?Copy !req
93. 'Cause it's a bipartisan bill
and I'm all for bipartisanshipCopy !req
94. as long as we get the credit.Copy !req
95. So I've taken
the press corps hostage.Copy !req
96. Hey, guys, I'm sorry,
but you know what?Copy !req
97. you're looking
at democracy at work.Copy !req
98. It's a beautiful thing.Copy !req
99. How much moreCopy !req
100. beauty can we
be expecting tonight, C.J.?Copy !req
101. Well, I wouldn't think
it would be that much longer.Copy !req
102. He's got a recipe book.Copy !req
103. But how many can
there be? 20, 30?Copy !req
104. C.J., it's Friday night.
I'm supposed to have
dinner with my girlfriend.Copy !req
105. She's going to kill me.Copy !req
106. Yeah, but you
know what, Mark?Copy !req
107. This is just
the kind of thingCopy !req
108. that can cleanse
the palateCopy !req
109. of a relationship
that's gone staleCopy !req
110. like a fine sorbet.Copy !req
111. We've been going out
for three weeks.Copy !req
112. And she's already
bitching about dinner?Copy !req
113. C.J...
Lose her.Copy !req
114. C.J...
Listen up, everybody.Copy !req
115. This was unforeseen.Copy !req
116. Obviously,
he's got to finish sometime.Copy !req
117. When he does,
there'll be a vote immediately.Copy !req
118. When it's done, the President
will make his callsCopy !req
119. White House staff will be
available for commentCopy !req
120. and most importantCopy !req
121. you will all
write about it.Copy !req
122. In the meantime,
I say pizza for everybody.Copy !req
123. Who's with me?Copy !req
124. Excellent.Copy !req
125. C.J...Copy !req
126. We're going
to need, likeCopy !req
127. a massive truckload
of pizzaCopy !req
128. and, I don't know,
maybe some Cuervo 1800Copy !req
129. if we got it lying around.Copy !req
130. How much?
Just enough for me.Copy !req
131. C.J.? So you knowCopy !req
132. I need to be at Telluride
first thing in the morning.Copy !req
133. That's a rough assignment
you pulled there.Copy !req
134. No, I'm saying
I already missed
the 6:50 to DenverCopy !req
135. but I can catch
an 8:40 from NationalCopy !req
136. if I change
planes in Chicago.Copy !req
137. And as your travel agent,
it's importantCopy !req
138. that you update me
on that information.Copy !req
139. C.J...
I'm supposed to be on
my way to Napa right nowCopy !req
140. for my dad's 70th birthday.Copy !req
141. You hear me complaining?Copy !req
142. You just did.Copy !req
143. Get out.Copy !req
144. It's your dad's
70th birthday?Copy !req
145. Yeah.Copy !req
146. You doing anything?Copy !req
147. Yeah, we're all
getting together in Napa.Copy !req
148. I meant right now.Copy !req
149. No, I'm sitting and waiting.Copy !req
150. I'm ordering pizza.Copy !req
151. I'm catching up on e-mails.Copy !req
152. All right.Copy !req
153. Got a basketball game
on in my office if
you want to come by.Copy !req
154. The Jets and the Mets?Copy !req
155. The Nets and the Hawks.
Jets and the Mets?Copy !req
156. I know the teams.
I'm joking when I do this.Copy !req
157. I'm joking when I do this.Copy !req
158. Okay.Copy !req
159. You know, there's a 9:00 to SFO.Copy !req
160. You can drive to Napa.Copy !req
161. Yeah.Copy !req
162. All right.Copy !req
163. I'm in my office.Copy !req
164. It'll end.Copy !req
165. You have any idea how manyCopy !req
166. recipes there are?Copy !req
167. I really don't.Copy !req
168. a pack of
frozen chicken liversCopy !req
169. one quarter of a pound
of dry mustard...Copy !req
170. C.J.:
So the press
is in the briefing roomCopy !req
171. the staff's in the west wing
and I'm right here.Copy !req
172. I'm betting when you hear thisCopy !req
173. you're going to be glad
I stayed.Copy !req
174. I'm betting
you're going to end upCopy !req
175. rooting for
a Minnesota SenatorCopy !req
176. named Howard Stackhouse.Copy !req
177. I got to tell you—Copy !req
178. this doesn't seem like
any old filibuster.Copy !req
179. The rules of a filibuster
are simple enough.Copy !req
180. You keep the floor
as long as you hold the floor.Copy !req
181. What does that mean?Copy !req
182. It means
you can't stop talking ever.Copy !req
183. You can't eat
and you can't drinkCopy !req
184. which is fine, because
you can't leave the ChamberCopy !req
185. to use the bathroom, either.Copy !req
186. But all that's nothing compared
to this:Copy !req
187. You're not allowed
to sit down.Copy !req
188. You're not allowed
to lean on anythingCopy !req
189. or, for that matter, anyone.Copy !req
190. It started with a billCopy !req
191. you'll read about
tomorrow morningCopy !req
192. called
the Family Wellness Act.Copy !req
193. Josh had been leading staffersCopy !req
194. from the Legislative
Liaison OfficeCopy !req
195. in negotiations with the
Conference Chairman for weeksCopy !req
196. and this last Monday morningCopy !req
197. he walked into Leo's office
and said...Copy !req
198. We got the
Family Wellness Act.Copy !req
199. It's done?
Yes, sir.Copy !req
200. What'd we get?
What'd we lose?Copy !req
201. Well, we got most of what
we wanted in Title VII.Copy !req
202. That's infant
hearing loss?Copy !req
203. We got a hearing test
for every child born
in the U.S.Copy !req
204. What about...?Copy !req
205. We did not getCopy !req
206. mandatory hearing testsCopy !req
207. for children
not born in hospitals.Copy !req
208. We can live with that.Copy !req
209. The Special Needs Adoption
Awareness Program?Copy !req
210. Right, this is
a national campaignCopy !req
211. to provide information
to the publicCopy !req
212. regarding the adoption
of special needs children.Copy !req
213. How did we get it?
By agreeing
to a provisionCopy !req
214. that would require health care
staff to give pregnant womenCopy !req
215. information
about adoptionCopy !req
216. on an equal basis with all
other courses of action.Copy !req
217. National
OrganizationCopy !req
218. for Women's going
to hate that.Copy !req
219. I know.Copy !req
220. Women seeking abortionsCopy !req
221. should not be required by lawCopy !req
222. to be lectured at.
You'll help me, right?Copy !req
223. Yes, I will.Copy !req
224. I will once againCopy !req
225. betray the
sisterhood.Copy !req
226. I saw you, you, you
and y roll your eyes.Copy !req
227. You weren't even
looking at me.Copy !req
228. I felt you.Copy !req
229. We're done.
Josh Lyman, everybody.Copy !req
230. Nice job.Copy !req
231. I know. I'm thinking
seriously about turning pro.Copy !req
232. Yeah?Copy !req
233. Yeah, I got agents
talking to meCopy !req
234. telling me I could go
high in the second roundCopy !req
235. maybe low in the first if
I have a good postseason.Copy !req
236. You don't want to stay in school
and get your education?Copy !req
237. Nah, I'm white.
Nobody's going to mind.Copy !req
238. Josh, this looks good.Copy !req
239. I mean, he stuck
sunsets on a bunchCopy !req
240. of small ticket
items, but...Copy !req
241. That's the way it's
going to happen.Copy !req
242. You just spent $6 billion
on health care.Copy !req
243. How do you feel?Copy !req
244. I'd feel better if
it meant just once
I could go to a doctorCopy !req
245. without filing out
something on a clipboard.Copy !req
246. All right. What else?Copy !req
247. Philip SlumanCopy !req
248. who's the ChairmanCopy !req
249. of the Petroleum
Producers of AmericaCopy !req
250. testified yesterday
to the FTCCopy !req
251. that "the Bartlet
Administration's"-- blah-blah—Copy !req
252. "relentless pursuit
of stricter emissions standardsCopy !req
253. "in the form
of additives like MTBECopy !req
254. is a big reason we've
seen price hikes in some
parts of the country."Copy !req
255. The Energy Secretary's
got to respond.Copy !req
256. The Energy Secretary's
going to respondCopy !req
257. and I'd like to mention that
to the Vice President.Copy !req
258. You want me
to do it?
I've got it.Copy !req
259. He's going to be
pretty unhappy.
Yeah.Copy !req
260. Anything else?Copy !req
261. No.Copy !req
262. No.Copy !req
263. No, sir.Copy !req
264. Thank you.Copy !req
265. C.J.:
So, there it was,
The Family Wellness ActCopy !req
266. an omnibus health bill
aimed at diseasesCopy !req
267. that disproportionately
affect children.Copy !req
268. This was a good day
'cause something got done.Copy !req
269. The problem is
we only thought it was done.Copy !req
270. Dad, this'd be a good time
to mention that it's possibleCopy !req
271. that an Egyptian cat goddess
named BastCopy !req
272. has put an ancient curse on me.Copy !req
273. C.J.Copy !req
274. Charlie.Copy !req
275. Listen...
May I call you Chip?Copy !req
276. No.
Chipper?Copy !req
277. No.
Gilligan?Copy !req
278. Listen.
Yes?Copy !req
279. Hassan Ali is coming here
at the end of the week.Copy !req
280. He's got 38 wives.
Yeah.Copy !req
281. Imagine being the girl he
dated who he didn't marry.Copy !req
282. C.J.?
Hassan Ali
is coming?Copy !req
283. Yeah, and on
the President's
trip to CairoCopy !req
284. Ali gave him a gift—
a ceramic statue.
Okay.Copy !req
285. The State Department told
the Office of ProtocolCopy !req
286. it's important that the gift
be displayed when Ali visits.Copy !req
287. Display it.Copy !req
288. The Office of Protocol
wasn't able to find it.Copy !req
289. They should talk
to the gift officer.Copy !req
290. They did.
And?Copy !req
291. They say you have it.Copy !req
292. I'm sorry?Copy !req
293. Sherry Halpern,
the gift officer on the tripCopy !req
294. says she handed it to you
in Cairo.Copy !req
295. Did you say
a small ceramic statue?Copy !req
296. Yeah, of a cat.Copy !req
297. Okay.Copy !req
298. Okay.Copy !req
299. Okay.Copy !req
300. C.J.?
Yes?Copy !req
301. You know anything about it?Copy !req
302. I'll have to think, Charlie.
It was a year agoCopy !req
303. and it's not like I have
instant recallCopy !req
304. of every ceramic cat statue
I've ever been handed in Cairo.Copy !req
305. Should I tell Protocol...?Copy !req
306. Tell Protocol I'm searching
my recollection.Copy !req
307. Protocol's recollection
seemed pretty good.Copy !req
308. Leave me now.
Sure.Copy !req
309. Toby.Copy !req
310. I'm going to see Hoynes.
Talk to me later.Copy !req
311. Okay. Carol?
What do you need?Copy !req
312. Some information,
possibly a disguise
and a fast getaway car.Copy !req
313. Come inside.Copy !req
314. Tell me somethingCopy !req
315. how did they
not anticipate
the flooding?Copy !req
316. There was an unexpectedly high
snowmelt.Copy !req
317. The snow fell three months ago.Copy !req
318. Did they not think it was going
to melt this year?Copy !req
319. Thank you,
everybody.Copy !req
320. Thank you so much.Copy !req
321. It was a pleasure.
Thank you.Copy !req
322. Beautiful quilts. Thank you.Copy !req
323. The temperatures
were unseasonably
warm last month.Copy !req
324. We don't know why.Copy !req
325. Well, it could have had
something to do with the
sun, though, right?Copy !req
326. Yes, sir.
Sir?Copy !req
327. We're done. Yeah.Copy !req
328. Can you see Toby Ziegler?Copy !req
329. Yeah.Copy !req
330. 25 million acre-feet
of water, Candy.Copy !req
331. That's eight trillion gallons.Copy !req
332. Yes, sir.
Hey, Toby.Copy !req
333. Good morning,
Mr. Vice President.Copy !req
334. The California Aqueduct is twice
the length of Pennsylvania.Copy !req
335. Did you know that?
I knew it was
pretty big.Copy !req
336. What do you need?Copy !req
337. Philip SlumanCopy !req
338. testifying yesterday
in front of the FTCCopy !req
339. charged that it was
the White House's pursuitCopy !req
340. of tighter emissions standards
that's caused the rise in...Copy !req
341. Phil Sluman had a good point.Copy !req
342. Mr. Vice President, I don't
want to go 'round and 'roundCopy !req
343. with you on Sluman.
Okay.Copy !req
344. He had no point.Copy !req
345. The policy forces them
to use expensive additivesCopy !req
346. whose benefits are questionable.Copy !req
347. It's price gouging.Copy !req
348. It costs marginally moreCopy !req
349. to refine the fuel
with the additivesCopy !req
350. and the cost is being
passed on to the consumerCopy !req
351. at an outrageous markup.Copy !req
352. Toby, if a refinery shuts down,
if there's a fireCopy !req
353. which isn't, like,
out of the questionCopy !req
354. when you're dealing
with petroleumCopy !req
355. production comes to a halt,
gas becomes scarceCopy !req
356. the prices go up,
then they come back down.Copy !req
357. Well, it's good to know
that the companies can make
it through the lean times.Copy !req
358. Yeah.Copy !req
359. Anyway, sir,
tomorrow nightCopy !req
360. Bill Trotter's going to be
delivering a speechCopy !req
361. to the Detroit Economic CouncilCopy !req
362. on "Energy Efficiency
in the 21st Century"Copy !req
363. and we're going to rewrite
the draft to includeCopy !req
364. a fairly strong rebuttal
to Philip Sluman's remarks.Copy !req
365. You shouldn't have
Bill Trotter do it.Copy !req
366. Why?Copy !req
367. His rants against the oil
companies have become familiar.Copy !req
368. The press has stopped
writing about him.Copy !req
369. Still...Copy !req
370. It's also pretty diceyCopy !req
371. political terrain
for the Energy Secretary.Copy !req
372. Who would you send?Copy !req
373. To punch back?
Yeah.Copy !req
374. Me.Copy !req
375. Really?Copy !req
376. I'm having a press conference
tomorrow afternoonCopy !req
377. to announce an advisory group
for the antitrust policy.Copy !req
378. I'll take questions at the end.Copy !req
379. I'll open it up for anythingCopy !req
380. and they will ask me
about Sluman and oil.Copy !req
381. Mr. Vice President...Copy !req
382. Toby, if you think
I'll be too soft on himCopy !req
383. stand in the back of the room.Copy !req
384. If you don't like what I say,
call Bill Trotter and sayCopy !req
385. "You're on for
tomorrow night."Copy !req
386. Would you mind if I prepared
some notes for you?Copy !req
387. Oh, not at all.Copy !req
388. Would you mind if I
shoved them up your ass?Copy !req
389. No, sir, I...Copy !req
390. Well, thank you, sir.Copy !req
391. We appreciate it.Copy !req
392. I heard you got the
Family Wellness Act.Copy !req
393. They're going to schedule
the vote for Friday at noon.Copy !req
394. You'll have the
bill by 12:05.Copy !req
395. Thank you,
Mr. Vice President.Copy !req
396. C.J.:
"I'll get back to the cat story
in a secondCopy !req
397. 'cause I have to interrupt
to say this:Copy !req
398. If you ever have a free
two hours and are so inclinedCopy !req
399. try standing up
without leaning on anythingCopy !req
400. and talking the whole time.Copy !req
401. You won't make it.
I wouldn't make it.Copy !req
402. Stackhouse wasn't supposed
to last 15 minutes.Copy !req
403. He's 78 years old.
He has a head cold.Copy !req
404. This bill is going to pass.Copy !req
405. He has no hope, to say nothing
of I can't imagineCopy !req
406. what the hell it is
he's fighting for.Copy !req
407. Stackhouse wasn't supposed
to last 15 minutes..."Copy !req
408. and that is how you prepareCopy !req
409. Virginia Green Apple Pie.Copy !req
410. Let's turn now
to David Copperfield.Copy !req
411. "Well, somebody forgot
to tell Stackhouse, DadCopy !req
412. 'cause he just went
into hour number eight."Copy !req
413. from 1812 to 1870 began
this... this great work...Copy !req
414. "... or whether that station
will be held by anybody elseCopy !req
415. "these pages must show.Copy !req
416. "To begin my life with
the beginning of my lifeCopy !req
417. "I record I was born, as I have
been informed and believeCopy !req
418. "on a Friday at 12:00 at night.Copy !req
419. "It was remarked that
the clock began to strikeCopy !req
420. and I began to cry,
simultaneously..."Copy !req
421. Hey.Copy !req
422. Hey.Copy !req
423. What are you doing?Copy !req
424. Well, it's a little complicated
and indeed difficult to explainCopy !req
425. in layman's terms.Copy !req
426. You can put the black
seven on the red eight.Copy !req
427. Thanks.Copy !req
428. Hey, Sam, who's
your favorite writer?Copy !req
429. Toby.Copy !req
430. Who's your favorite
fiction writer?Copy !req
431. You're listening to him
right now.Copy !req
432. You like Dickens?Copy !req
433. Oh... yeah.Copy !req
434. You know, I never got
a chance to say...Copy !req
435. I mean, I feel bad about
your dad and everything.Copy !req
436. Yeah.Copy !req
437. We're doing better.Copy !req
438. You know,
the ice is starting to thaw.Copy !req
439. I'm in the middle of
an e-mail to my father.Copy !req
440. Do you talk
to him a lot?Copy !req
441. Not enough.Copy !req
442. You're going to miss
the last plane.Copy !req
443. I'll take Amtrak to Penn Station
and rent a car.Copy !req
444. Okay. Well, I just came
down to get this coffee.Copy !req
445. Go back to your e-mail.Copy !req
446. Hey, did I hear you got spankedCopy !req
447. by some 14-year-old kid
interning at the GAO?Copy !req
448. I did not get spanked,
and she was 19 years oldCopy !req
449. and I demonstrated once againCopy !req
450. that I am open
to all forms of debate.Copy !req
451. With an intern?Copy !req
452. If need be.Copy !req
453. Okay.Copy !req
454. She was very crafty.Copy !req
455. Who?Copy !req
456. The intern
from the GAO.Copy !req
457. Yeah.Copy !req
458. Go back to your e-mail.Copy !req
459. I am.
Okay.Copy !req
460. I'm taking my
coffee with me.Copy !req
461. I'll see you upstairs.Copy !req
462. "... and then she made a..."Copy !req
463. "Then she made a frown
and a gesture to my motherCopy !req
464. "like one who was accustomed
to be obeyedCopy !req
465. to come open the door..."Copy !req
466. Dear Jackass...Copy !req
467. "'Mrs. David Copperfield,
I think,' said Miss BetsyCopy !req
468. "the emphasis referring, perhapsCopy !req
469. "to my mother's mourning weedsCopy !req
470. "and her condition,
not having been lighted, indeedCopy !req
471. since my father's funeral."Copy !req
472. to kill time
during a filibusterCopy !req
473. and it reminded me
that I haven't told youCopy !req
474. any tales from the White House
in the last few weeks.Copy !req
475. Let's start again, okay?Copy !req
476. Here's one about
how I got yelled atCopy !req
477. by a 19-year-old internCopy !req
478. from the
General Accounting Office.Copy !req
479. Josh was having
his twice weekly meetingCopy !req
480. with Assistant Deputies.Copy !req
481. He was basically staffing outCopy !req
482. in-box material
for the next few days.Copy !req
483. I was looking
for a good piece of fruit.Copy !req
484. Write this down.Copy !req
485. I-I need you to find out
if sufficient fundsCopy !req
486. have been appropriated
to the FAACopy !req
487. to begin work
on data-link communications.Copy !req
488. They're going to ask
me what "sufficient
funds" mean.Copy !req
489. That's when you get me
on the phone. Sam?Copy !req
490. What are you doing?Copy !req
491. I'm looking
for a piece of fruit.Copy !req
492. Can we show you something
from the back or...?Copy !req
493. I'm fine.Copy !req
494. Okay, here's one.Copy !req
495. Uh, the White House has been
instructed by CongressCopy !req
496. to compile a list
of 400 government reportsCopy !req
497. that should be eliminated
as they serve little purposeCopy !req
498. and cost the taxpayers
hundreds of millions of dollars.Copy !req
499. We'll assume, though
the modifier was danglingCopy !req
500. they mean the reports
serve little purposeCopy !req
501. and not Congress itself.Copy !req
502. Who wants to lead it?Copy !req
503. I will.Copy !req
504. Right. You're not
in this meeting.Copy !req
505. You're shopping for fruit.Copy !req
506. I'm done with the fruit.Copy !req
507. I was listening to you.Copy !req
508. You want to do this?Copy !req
509. Absolutely.
Why?Copy !req
510. 'Cause it's insane.Copy !req
511. We got over 3,000 reports
from federal agencies last year.Copy !req
512. Agriculture spent
$40 millionCopy !req
513. producing
280 reports.Copy !req
514. Four years of college,
three years of law school—Copy !req
515. I spent 30 bucks at Kinko's.Copy !req
516. Give me the thing.Copy !req
517. All right, we're done.Copy !req
518. Let me tell
you people something.Copy !req
519. The GAO needs
a little housekeepingCopy !req
520. and that's my nickname, okay?Copy !req
521. I'm the Housekeeper.Copy !req
522. Hey.Copy !req
523. God, that's a
terrible nickname.Copy !req
524. I'd start getting used
to it for a while.Copy !req
525. Let me talk to you
a second.Copy !req
526. I'm not going with
that nickname anymore.Copy !req
527. What's going on?Copy !req
528. I was just with Hoynes.Copy !req
529. About Sluman's testimony?Copy !req
530. Yeah.
What'd he say?Copy !req
531. He defended it.Copy !req
532. Isn't that what
you expected?
Yeah.Copy !req
533. Did you tell him Bill
Trotter was going...?
Yeah.Copy !req
534. What'd he say?Copy !req
535. He said he wanted
to do it himself.Copy !req
536. Really?
Yeah.Copy !req
537. I don't understand.Copy !req
538. He said he's doing
a press conference tomorrow...Copy !req
539. Antitrust.Copy !req
540. Yeah, and he'll take questions
at the endCopy !req
541. and they'll ask
about the Sluman testimonyCopy !req
542. and he'll step up.Copy !req
543. Well, somebody's got
to be there.Copy !req
544. Oh... I'm going to be there.Copy !req
545. If he ducks,
Trotter goes on in DetroitCopy !req
546. but still, is it clear to you
what he's doing?Copy !req
547. No.Copy !req
548. Me, neither.Copy !req
549. Okay, so, I got a team together
and went about the taskCopy !req
550. of recommending 400 government
reports for elimination.Copy !req
551. Report on the use of Pell Grants
for the incarcerated.Copy !req
552. What's that?Copy !req
553. Education scholarships
for prisoners.Copy !req
554. Wasn't that program
terminated?
Yeah.Copy !req
555. But we write
the reports anyway?Copy !req
556. Yeah.
Lose it.Copy !req
557. Report on
the study
of Route 66.Copy !req
558. Which tells us...?Copy !req
559. Condition and
traffic flowCopy !req
560. of America's oldest
transcontinental highway.Copy !req
561. Anything in there
I don't get from the song?
Nope.Copy !req
562. Lose it.Copy !req
563. Excuse me?Copy !req
564. I didn't say anything.Copy !req
565. You made a little sound there.Copy !req
566. Sorry. I'll be out of your wayCopy !req
567. in just a moment.
Okay.Copy !req
568. There are tiny
clams or musselsCopy !req
569. taking over
the Great lakes.Copy !req
570. Lose it.Copy !req
571. Can I help you?Copy !req
572. No, you seem to be screwing
the world upCopy !req
573. all by yourself.Copy !req
574. Who are you?Copy !req
575. I'm an intern at the GAO.Copy !req
576. It's almost noon. They're going
to be starting the vote.Copy !req
577. Let's go watch.
Yeah.Copy !req
578. Can you stay a second?Copy !req
579. You're an intern?Copy !req
580. Yes.Copy !req
581. What are you, 14 years old?Copy !req
582. I'm 19 years old.Copy !req
583. And what's your problem
with my cutting reports?Copy !req
584. Nothing, other than it being
utterly bogus.Copy !req
585. What's your name?Copy !req
586. Winnifred Hooper.Copy !req
587. Should I call you Winnie?Copy !req
588. Not unless you want me
to spit at you.Copy !req
589. And I don't.
Okay.Copy !req
590. Winnifred,
the accounting office tells meCopy !req
591. I can save the taxpayers
$3 millionCopy !req
592. by cutting 400 reports.Copy !req
593. Now every American family
can realize their dreamCopy !req
594. of a college education
for their childrenCopy !req
595. with the penny and a half
you just saved them.Copy !req
596. Okay, you know what?
You blow through
these thingsCopy !req
597. like they don't
mean anything.Copy !req
598. They don't mean anything.Copy !req
599. You're an idiot!
Hey, hey.Copy !req
600. You're talking
to senior staff.Copy !req
601. Gee, genuflect
when you say that, fella.Copy !req
602. "Report on the ObstaclesCopy !req
603. "to State and Local
Training NeedsCopy !req
604. in the Solid Waste Management
and Resource Recovery."Copy !req
605. You know
what this is?
Yes.Copy !req
606. It's about career
opportunities
for garbagemen.Copy !req
607. And what's
wrong with that?Copy !req
608. I think it's a tough sellCopy !req
609. and I don't need a report
to tell me that.Copy !req
610. Do you have any idea
how much MSW this country
generates in a single year?Copy !req
611. That's...?Copy !req
612. Municipal solid waste.Copy !req
613. I knew that.Copy !req
614. 209 million tons
of MSW, or 4.3 poundsCopy !req
615. per person per day,
and the kicker isCopy !req
616. we only have hard
data availableCopy !req
617. from five years ago.Copy !req
618. So the numbers would be
even higher today.Copy !req
619. You bet your
boots they would.Copy !req
620. Trash collectors playCopy !req
621. an incredibly important
role in our society.Copy !req
622. They start work at 4:00 a.m.Copy !req
623. A three-person crew
could service 1,200 homesCopy !req
624. in six hours collecting
50,000 pounds of garbage.Copy !req
625. How do you know all that?Copy !req
626. I've read the report.Copy !req
627. You've read the report?Copy !req
628. Yes.
Why?Copy !req
629. I'm allowed.
Anybody's allowed.Copy !req
630. No, I-I mean, why?Copy !req
631. Well, they're
all sitting in
the office I work in.Copy !req
632. So it just happensCopy !req
633. you read the report
I pulled off the top?Copy !req
634. I've read them all.Copy !req
635. You've read them all?Copy !req
636. I-I like to read.Copy !req
637. They let me come early
and stay after.Copy !req
638. Mr. SeabornCopy !req
639. the bottom line isCopy !req
640. because of the low
rate of unemploymentCopy !req
641. people can be
a lot more choosyCopy !req
642. and the municipal
sanitation departmentsCopy !req
643. are having trouble
hiring qualified
trash collectorsCopy !req
644. which I think
you'll agree we need.Copy !req
645. Yes.Copy !req
646. Well, okay.Copy !req
647. I have to go back to my room.Copy !req
648. Winnie?Copy !req
649. Yeah, I said it.Copy !req
650. Listen, you're talented.Copy !req
651. When you get out of school,
you should come see meCopy !req
652. for a job.Copy !req
653. I... I-I suppose you're
not a complete loser...Copy !req
654. and you write very well.Copy !req
655. So, when I get
out of schoolCopy !req
656. you should come see me
for a job.Copy !req
657. C.J.:
Back to the cat story, Dad.Copy !req
658. I've done my researchCopy !req
659. and sure enough,
I was quite screwed.Copy !req
660. I was in trouble and I needed
to tell someone— a cohort—Copy !req
661. someone whose criminal mind
was equal to my own.Copy !req
662. Donna, I need to talk
to you right now.Copy !req
663. I have to get
these to people.Copy !req
664. So, we went to Cairo
last year.Copy !req
665. Not me.Copy !req
666. Right.
I had strep.Copy !req
667. I didn't,
which is sad for me.Copy !req
668. Are you in trouble?Copy !req
669. I may be
in a spot of trouble, yes.Copy !req
670. What happened?Copy !req
671. Hassan Ali gave
the President a gift—Copy !req
672. a small ceramic
statue of Bast.Copy !req
673. Bast?Copy !req
674. Bast— a
cat goddess.Copy !req
675. She was...
Donna,
did Josh leave?Copy !req
676. He went to lunch.Copy !req
677. She was the patron
saint of BubastisCopy !req
678. and rose to prominenceCopy !req
679. during the period of
the 22nd Dynasty.Copy !req
680. How do you know all this?Copy !req
681. I looked it up.Copy !req
682. The cats in
the temple...Copy !req
683. What temple?Copy !req
684. The Temple of Bubastis,
maybe, I don't know.Copy !req
685. The cats in the temple
wore jeweled collars.Copy !req
686. They were treated royally.Copy !req
687. They thought
cats controlled the
movement of the moon.Copy !req
688. They had total authority
over royal housesCopy !req
689. because of their ability
to see in the dark.Copy !req
690. Anyone who killed a cat
was put to death.Copy !req
691. I'm sorry, C.J.,
I'm not...Copy !req
692. I broke the damn statue.Copy !req
693. Not badly...Copy !req
694. but, you know,
in several piecesCopy !req
695. and since it came out
of his own collectionCopy !req
696. breaking the figurineCopy !req
697. would amount to
a personal affrontCopy !req
698. implying he had bad taste
and that the objectCopy !req
699. was of little personal
value to the President.Copy !req
700. Donna, they're asking for you
back at your desk.Copy !req
701. How did you break it?Copy !req
702. The gift officer handed
it to me. I tossed
it in my suitcase.Copy !req
703. You tossed it in...?
Do you have any idea
how many pieces of crapCopy !req
704. get stuck in the
President's handsCopy !req
705. every time he leaves
the building?Copy !req
706. Didn't the gift officer know
it was a priceless relic?Copy !req
707. Well, apparently not
because she handed it to meCopy !req
708. with a couple of T-shirts
and a box of baklava.Copy !req
709. Donna.
Yeah.Copy !req
710. Why are you telling me this?Copy !req
711. I thought maybe
you'd have an idea.Copy !req
712. There's nothing really
I can think of right nowCopy !req
713. except to agree that
you're monumentally screwed.Copy !req
714. I hate to leave it at that.Copy !req
715. But you're going to.
Yeah.Copy !req
716. What's going on?Copy !req
717. It's this phone message
for Josh.Copy !req
718. Who's it from?Copy !req
719. Howard Stackhouse.Copy !req
720. Who has my wallet?Copy !req
721. Thank you.Copy !req
722. Josh.Copy !req
723. Did Senator Stackhouse
ask you to meet with
one of his aides?Copy !req
724. Yeah.
'Cause I don't
have it down.Copy !req
725. Yeah, I'm not
taking it.
Why?Copy !req
726. He wants an amendment added
to the Family Wellness ActCopy !req
727. that will allocate money
for autism care and research.Copy !req
728. And we don't want to?Copy !req
729. This is what's called
a Christmas tree bill.Copy !req
730. Everyone hangs amendments on it.Copy !req
731. We just closed it this morning.Copy !req
732. We try and hang a star on top...Copy !req
733. The tree topples over
and it doesn't pass.Copy !req
734. Stackhouse isn't someone who has
a lot of muscle on this, so...Copy !req
735. You got this
phone message.Copy !req
736. From his office?
From him.Copy !req
737. "You're going to
meet with meCopy !req
738. or there's not going to be
a vote while I'm alive.
Stackhouse."Copy !req
739. Give me that.Copy !req
740. C.J.:
so maybe it's
the curse of the BastCopy !req
741. that made us not take
the Stackhouse threat
seriouslyCopy !req
742. but whatever the reason,
it's time to take it seriouslyCopy !req
743. 'cause he's gassing me
out of time.Copy !req
744. Still, I've got two hours
till the 11:00 print deadlineCopy !req
745. and there's no way.Copy !req
746. There's no way he goes
another two hours.Copy !req
747. Let's move on
to the rules of cards.Copy !req
748. There's no way.Copy !req
749. The message was pretty crypticCopy !req
750. like something
you'd slip to a bank tellerCopy !req
751. and it was unusual to get itCopy !req
752. directly from a Senator who'd
normally dispatch an aide.Copy !req
753. Leo agreed,
but was in no way concerned.Copy !req
754. He told me to go ahead
and take the meetingCopy !req
755. but not to sweat itCopy !req
756. and under no circumstances
give anything away.Copy !req
757. So I headed up to the HillCopy !req
758. wearing, by the way,
the new shoes you bought meCopy !req
759. which I had never worn before.Copy !req
760. Since Dad's not here to do itCopy !req
761. I think it's my job to bore you
with history now.Copy !req
762. The filibuster's been part
of the parliamentary stratagemCopy !req
763. in this country
for over 150 years.Copy !req
764. Now, the reason
we weren't sweating StackhouseCopy !req
765. is that Stackhouse
isn't really someone you
sweat.Copy !req
766. but he has little influence,
little power and few friends.Copy !req
767. So Dad would want me
to tell youCopy !req
768. where the word "filibuster"
comes from.Copy !req
769. It's from
the Dutch "vry guiter"Copy !req
770. which translated literally
means "freebooter"Copy !req
771. but what they meant
was "buccaneer."Copy !req
772. Afternoon, Senator.Copy !req
773. Good afternoon.Copy !req
774. Sounds like a bad cold.Copy !req
775. It's fine.Copy !req
776. You taking anything?Copy !req
777. I don't want
to talk about my cold.Copy !req
778. I want $47 million
to fight autism.Copy !req
779. Sir...
Five centers
of excellenceCopy !req
780. at universities
around the countryCopy !req
781. to help scientists
coordinate their researchCopy !req
782. three special units for
autism epidemiology at the CDCCopy !req
783. and a centralized
facilityCopy !req
784. for gene and brain banking.Copy !req
785. That's $43 million.Copy !req
786. Senator...
Uh, the other
$4 millionCopy !req
787. is for a federal program
to educate doctors in orderCopy !req
788. to reduce the staggeringly high
percentage of casesCopy !req
789. in which autism is misdiagnosed.Copy !req
790. We can't do it.Copy !req
791. Of course you can.Copy !req
792. You simply pick up the phone,
you callCopy !req
793. the Conference
Chairman and...Copy !req
794. The bill started out
at $2 billion.Copy !req
795. It's $6 billion now.Copy !req
796. That's right.Copy !req
797. So another $47 million
hurts you how?
Sir...Copy !req
798. It's eight-tenths of one percentCopy !req
799. of a bill aimed at health issues
affecting childrenCopy !req
800. which is roughly
the sameCopy !req
801. as the percentage of children
affected by autism.Copy !req
802. I don't need to tell you
that in these negotiations...Copy !req
803. In these
negotiationsCopy !req
804. about a bill aimed at
health issues affecting childrenCopy !req
805. we've allocated funds
for Alzheimer's, glaucomaCopy !req
806. and erectile dysfunction.Copy !req
807. Sir...
You know a lot
of two-year-oldsCopy !req
808. afflicted with that
horrific conditionCopy !req
809. do you?Copy !req
810. There's no doubt
that that's a good pointCopy !req
811. but in order for us to ensureCopy !req
812. that more important things
were in the bill...Copy !req
813. So there was
a determination made, hmm?Copy !req
814. I'm sorry?Copy !req
815. A determination was madeCopy !req
816. an order of priorities.Copy !req
817. Senator, there's going
to be a vote.Copy !req
818. The bill's closed.Copy !req
819. Open it back up again.Copy !req
820. To do that would mean
to postpone the voteCopy !req
821. and everyone's breaking
for the recess, and...Copy !req
822. And you want the story
before everyone goes home.Copy !req
823. Yeah.Copy !req
824. Okay.Copy !req
825. Sir, the next time aroundCopy !req
826. and there will be
a next time around...Copy !req
827. That's all.Copy !req
828. I'm done with you now.Copy !req
829. And that was that.Copy !req
830. TV news reporter:
Also in the news at this hourCopy !req
831. parliamentary procedure
in all of its gloryCopy !req
832. as a Senate filibuster
watches day turn to nightCopy !req
833. and possibly
back into day again.Copy !req
834. 78-year-old Minnesota Senator
Howard StackhouseCopy !req
835. stands alone tonight in the well
of the Senate ChamberCopy !req
836. as his colleagues somewhat
impatiently wait for a voteCopy !req
837. that was scheduled to take place
more than nine hours ago.Copy !req
838. Stackhouse, a five-term senator
who once...Copy !req
839. Hey, Zach?
Yeah?Copy !req
840. You guys record the news feeds
coming in, right?
Yeah.Copy !req
841. Could I get a dub
of the B-roll they're showingCopy !req
842. on the Stackhouse story?Copy !req
843. It's three or four seconds,
it's a campaign stopCopy !req
844. and his grandchildren
are with him.Copy !req
845. The voice-over is talking about
his seven grandchildren.Copy !req
846. Sure, what's
the problem?Copy !req
847. It's nothing.Copy !req
848. I'll have it sent
up in a few minutes.Copy !req
849. Thanks.
Donna.Copy !req
850. You're booked
tomorrow morningCopy !req
851. 8:55, United, direct
to West Palm Beach.Copy !req
852. Which gets in at...?Copy !req
853. 12:58.Copy !req
854. It's still a 70-
mile drive to
Port Saint Lucie.Copy !req
855. I'll miss the game.Copy !req
856. I thought
they weren't playing yet.Copy !req
857. It's an exhibition game.Copy !req
858. You're flying to FloridaCopy !req
859. to see the Mets
play another teamCopy !req
860. in a game that
doesn't count?Copy !req
861. Actually,
it's an intra-squad game.Copy !req
862. So, you're
flying to FloridaCopy !req
863. to see the Mets play each other
in a game that doesn't count.Copy !req
864. Yeah.Copy !req
865. Okay. Uh, there's
a Continental flightCopy !req
866. out of Dulles at 7:00 a.m.Copy !req
867. You change planes in Newark.Copy !req
868. I got to fly to New Jersey
to get to Palm Beach?Copy !req
869. Look...
Whatever.Copy !req
870. Just make sure
that tomorrow morning...Copy !req
871. Mike Piazza calls you "dude."Copy !req
872. Yes.Copy !req
873. What are
you doing?Copy !req
874. I'm writing an e-mail
to my mother.Copy !req
875. Why?Copy !req
876. To thank herCopy !req
877. for a pair of shoes she sent me.Copy !req
878. Your mother sent you shoes?Copy !req
879. Donna, please,
try and keep it...Copy !req
880. That is the sweetest thing...Copy !req
881. Donna...Copy !req
882. Okay.Copy !req
883. Donna says hi, Mom.Copy !req
884. Anyway, I didn't think muchCopy !req
885. about the meeting
with Stackhouse afterward.Copy !req
886. There are always
going to be peopleCopy !req
887. who don't get what they want.Copy !req
888. I was thinking
about other things.Copy !req
889. Like Toby, I was puzzled
as to why the Vice PresidentCopy !req
890. who made his money
from the oil industryCopy !req
891. who champions the oil industryCopy !req
892. would volunteer to admonish
the oil industry.Copy !req
893. Uh, Steve.Copy !req
894. Sir, I'm sure you're awareCopy !req
895. that Philip Sluman
testified before the FTCCopy !req
896. that the Bartlet
Administration'sCopy !req
897. relentless pursuit
of stricter emissions standardsCopy !req
898. in the form of additives is why
we're seeing price spikes.Copy !req
899. Yeah.Copy !req
900. Would you comment on that?Copy !req
901. Yeah. Our relentless pursuit
of cleaner air standardsCopy !req
902. has resulted
in lower asthma ratesCopy !req
903. and the cleanest air
in California in 50 years.Copy !req
904. It costs
marginally moreCopy !req
905. to refine fuel
with additivesCopy !req
906. but the costs
are being passed on to consumersCopy !req
907. at an outrageous price.Copy !req
908. Mr. Vice President...Copy !req
909. Uh, yeah, Chris.Copy !req
910. Are you accusing membersCopy !req
911. of the PPA of price gouging?Copy !req
912. Well, some of these CEOs
are old friends of mineCopy !req
913. but, uh, I can tell you they do
know how to turn a profit.Copy !req
914. Now, they'll claim
that prices willCopy !req
915. go back down after
production increases...Copy !req
916. Hoynes just kept hammering awayCopy !req
917. and I was reminded for a minuteCopy !req
918. how close he came
to being elected President.Copy !req
919. Toby said it was an impressive
display from HoynesCopy !req
920. but couldn't get past
the questionCopy !req
921. of why he volunteered to do it.Copy !req
922. And if you're wonderingCopy !req
923. what the President does
during a filibusterCopy !req
924. I don't know,
'cause this is our firstCopy !req
925. but at the momentCopy !req
926. he's in his private dining room
having dinner.Copy !req
927. There's a famous French chef
visitingCopy !req
928. and every time he comes,
he cooks for the President.Copy !req
929. Leo.Copy !req
930. Good evening, sir.Copy !req
931. You busy?Copy !req
932. What do you need?Copy !req
933. Come have dinner with me.Copy !req
934. Why?Copy !req
935. Pierre Boileau
is cooking tonight.Copy !req
936. You want to have dinner?Copy !req
937. What's he serving?Copy !req
938. That's your answer?Copy !req
939. I'm just asking.Copy !req
940. Well, I can tell you
that the man specializesCopy !req
941. in a reinterpretation
of classic Provencal cuisine.Copy !req
942. Cassoulet,
Duck with green olives...Copy !req
943. Yeah?
Saffron chicken.Copy !req
944. I haven't had
a good saffron chickenCopy !req
945. in quite some time.Copy !req
946. Well, don't you think
you deserve one?Copy !req
947. Yes.Copy !req
948. His specialty is his dessertCopy !req
949. Tomate de Saltambique.Copy !req
950. That's going to be
a big, seedless beefsteak tomatoCopy !req
951. stewed for three hours in creme
de caramel and stuffed with...Copy !req
952. Passion fruit,
kiwi and hazelnuts, and...Copy !req
953. Served on
a pomegranate reduction, yes.Copy !req
954. Let's go.Copy !req
955. Leave the
cell phone.Copy !req
956. I'm taking my phone.Copy !req
957. We're not leaving
the building.Copy !req
958. People can find you.Copy !req
959. Let's go.
What's he onto now?Copy !req
960. The rules of blackjack.Copy !req
961. Oh, brother.Copy !req
962. Don't worry about it.Copy !req
963. Could Howard Stackhouse
possibly beCopy !req
964. a bigger horse's patoot?Copy !req
965. I don't know what part
of a horse that is exactlyCopy !req
966. but I've always thought
he was a decent guy.Copy !req
967. He's a curmudgeon,
a grouchy old crank.Copy !req
968. So are we.
You are.Copy !req
969. I am full of mirth.Copy !req
970. Okay.Copy !req
971. He was all over me
the first year.Copy !req
972. He called me
"Bartlet the Inert."Copy !req
973. That was
pretty funny.Copy !req
974. I'm a reformer. I'm the
most liberal President
he's ever served under.Copy !req
975. His hero, Hubert Humphrey,
once, you know...Copy !req
976. Shook your hand.
That's right.Copy !req
977. I feel bad.Copy !req
978. Why?Copy !req
979. His wife died
a few years ago.Copy !req
980. I didn't go
to the funeral.Copy !req
981. Why?Copy !req
982. I was kind of busy
running for President, Leo.Copy !req
983. That's right.Copy !req
984. Tomate de Saltambique,
my friend.Copy !req
985. Yes, indeed.Copy !req
986. Good evening.Copy !req
987. Hi. Hang on.Copy !req
988. They thought
I was goingCopy !req
989. to be eating
with Abbey, so...Copy !req
990. Yeah.Copy !req
991. We'll just, you know,
pretend there's
no candlelight.Copy !req
992. Or that we're not paranoid
homophobes in any way.Copy !req
993. Yeah.Copy !req
994. Yeah.Copy !req
995. Leo, you have a deputyCopy !req
996. who's, frankly, a lot
smarter than you are.Copy !req
997. Whatever it is,
let him handle it.Copy !req
998. Who are you talking to?Copy !req
999. My deputy.Copy !req
1000. Oh.
Yeah.Copy !req
1001. What does he say?Copy !req
1002. He says
there's no end in sight.Copy !req
1003. Okay, let's eat.Copy !req
1004. C.J.?
Yeah.Copy !req
1005. Listen, I was looking at
the B-roll they're showingCopy !req
1006. on the Stackhouse storyCopy !req
1007. and there's something
that struck me as odd.Copy !req
1008. What?Copy !req
1009. They show
two different eventsCopy !req
1010. during his last campaignCopy !req
1011. and his grandchildren
are next to him on stage.Copy !req
1012. He's got seven of them.Copy !req
1013. What's the problem?Copy !req
1014. There are only six
in the shot.Copy !req
1015. I don't think this is
what we think it is.Copy !req
1016. I don't think he's
just being ornery.Copy !req
1017. I think he
has a grandson
who's autistic.Copy !req
1018. Oh, holy hell.Copy !req
1019. Tell Josh.
Find out for sure.Copy !req
1020. Yeah.Copy !req
1021. More brandy, sir?Copy !req
1022. Nah, I'm fine.Copy !req
1023. I hope the First Lady'sCopy !req
1024. not feeling ill
this evening.Copy !req
1025. No, she's up at the
Manchester house.Copy !req
1026. Very good, sir.Copy !req
1027. No, it really sucks,
but thanks.Copy !req
1028. Yes, sir.Copy !req
1029. Did you hear that?Copy !req
1030. He said,
"Very good, sir."Copy !req
1031. Where do they
learn that?Copy !req
1032. Yeah. I'm sorry?Copy !req
1033. Nothing.Copy !req
1034. I'm sure that was moved
for a reason.Copy !req
1035. We're prepping
for a G-8 with BarneyCopy !req
1036. and we're going
to Tel Aviv.Copy !req
1037. I just feel like
we don't talk anymore.Copy !req
1038. Tel Aviv's
the week after.Copy !req
1039. What?Copy !req
1040. See, you're not even listening.Copy !req
1041. Ben, let me call you back.Copy !req
1042. What's your problem?Copy !req
1043. I'm just saying we work all
day and then the day's overCopy !req
1044. and we go out to dinner
and you're still workingCopy !req
1045. and, you know,
I'm sitting here.Copy !req
1046. No time to talk.Copy !req
1047. You know,
conversations like thisCopy !req
1048. are the reason I got divorced.Copy !req
1049. No, it's not.Copy !req
1050. Sir...Copy !req
1051. what's wrong?Copy !req
1052. I made...Copy !req
1053. Uh... I'm fine, Billy.Copy !req
1054. I made a deal with Abbey...Copy !req
1055. 'cause of my thing.Copy !req
1056. One term?Copy !req
1057. My thing, by the way,
is the reasonCopy !req
1058. that Hoynes stepped up on oil.Copy !req
1059. 'Cause he thinks maybe...Copy !req
1060. Yeah.Copy !req
1061. It was three years ago.Copy !req
1062. She can't expect...Copy !req
1063. Yeah.Copy !req
1064. Yeah.Copy !req
1065. It's C.J.Copy !req
1066. Stackhouse has
an autistic grandson.Copy !req
1067. Let's go.Copy !req
1068. C.J., we're coming up.Copy !req
1069. Charlie?Copy !req
1070. He's just coming over.Copy !req
1071. Thanks. Can we wait?Copy !req
1072. Yeah. Look, C.J.,
one of usCopy !req
1073. is going to have to tell
the PresidentCopy !req
1074. that the statue's broken.Copy !req
1075. It's not broken.
It is broken.Copy !req
1076. She Crazy Glued it
back together.Copy !req
1077. You Crazy Glued it?
I didn't know
what it was.Copy !req
1078. I needed a
potpourri holder.Copy !req
1079. I have the ancient
curse of Bast on meCopy !req
1080. so get off
my back, Sparky.Copy !req
1081. Okay, but when you tell him,
I'd leave out the Crazy Glue.Copy !req
1082. And potpourri, right?
Yeah.Copy !req
1083. Here we go.Copy !req
1084. How does he not just tell me?Copy !req
1085. Sir...
How does he not
come to me and sayCopy !req
1086. "Jed, this is my grandson and
there are lots more like himCopy !req
1087. and there are lots more to come.
Can you help us out?Copy !req
1088. Because he...
Damn it, he knows we
would've gotten it done.Copy !req
1089. Why doesn't he tell me...?Copy !req
1090. Because he doesn't
want to make political hayCopy !req
1091. out of his grandson,
which is commendable.Copy !req
1092. Nah, he's a crank.Copy !req
1093. Good evening,
Mr. President.Copy !req
1094. Hey.Copy !req
1095. Hey, Donna,
you need something?Copy !req
1096. Donna's the one who
started sniffing around it.Copy !req
1097. C.J., that phone message
was for real.Copy !req
1098. He's not going to stop
till he drops.Copy !req
1099. He might.Copy !req
1100. C.J., let me tell you something.Copy !req
1101. Don't ever, everCopy !req
1102. underestimate
the will of a grandfather.Copy !req
1103. We're madmen;
we don't give a damn.Copy !req
1104. We got here before you
and they'll be here after.Copy !req
1105. We'll make enemies, we'll break
laws, we'll break bonesCopy !req
1106. but you will not mess
with the grandchildren.Copy !req
1107. There was quite a bit of sugar
in the creme de caramel.Copy !req
1108. Yeah.Copy !req
1109. C.J...Copy !req
1110. if I told you
to screw the print deadlineCopy !req
1111. what would you want to doCopy !req
1112. right now?Copy !req
1113. I'd want to seeCopy !req
1114. if there was a way
I could help him out.Copy !req
1115. Give him some dignity, right?Copy !req
1116. And give him a rest. The guy'sCopy !req
1117. going to collapse
out there.Copy !req
1118. Yes, sir.Copy !req
1119. Screw the print deadline. Leo?Copy !req
1120. Look...Copy !req
1121. We will talk about
the other thing later.Copy !req
1122. I'm just asking how
we're going to do this.Copy !req
1123. Excuse me.Copy !req
1124. The Chairman'll
gavel him offCopy !req
1125. if he stops
talking or sits.Copy !req
1126. Excuse me.Copy !req
1127. What are you doing?Copy !req
1128. I didn't know
if I'm supposed to...Copy !req
1129. We usually don't
raise our hands.Copy !req
1130. Though it's not the worst idea
in the world.Copy !req
1131. The Senator's allowed
to yield for a questionCopy !req
1132. without yielding the floor.Copy !req
1133. What do you mean?
He's allowed
to yieldCopy !req
1134. for a question
without yielding the floor.Copy !req
1135. I was in the House. I know
nothing about Senate rules.Copy !req
1136. Yes, sir, but Josh does,
and he likes to explain
things, and, well, I let him.Copy !req
1137. I'm pretty sure
it's true, sir.Copy !req
1138. What time is it?
Let's wake up a
parliamentarian.Copy !req
1139. Yeah, but the problem isCopy !req
1140. the only people who ask
questions are Senators.Copy !req
1141. We'll get one of them
to walk in there. Charlie!Copy !req
1142. The Senate wants to go
home. They want a vote.Copy !req
1143. Yes, sir?
I want to call
Senators.Copy !req
1144. We'll start
with our friends.Copy !req
1145. When we're done with those twoCopy !req
1146. we'll go on to the other 98.Copy !req
1147. Yes, sir.
C.J.:
Charlie.Copy !req
1148. Start with the grandfathers.
Yes, ma'am.Copy !req
1149. There's no damn holiday
for us, either.Copy !req
1150. We'll be in
the dining room.Copy !req
1151. C.J., no kidding,
make this happen.Copy !req
1152. Yes, sir.Copy !req
1153. Oh, and I brokeCopy !req
1154. your statue.Copy !req
1155. I don't think
he heard you.Copy !req
1156. No.Copy !req
1157. The water peaked at
3,690 feet last monthCopy !req
1158. because of an uncontrolled
release from Lake Powell.Copy !req
1159. You mean the uncontrolled
release of Lake Powell.Copy !req
1160. I suppose.Copy !req
1161. I am going home.Copy !req
1162. Good night, sir.
Good night.Copy !req
1163. Mr. Vice President.Copy !req
1164. Didn't I do it right?Copy !req
1165. No, sir, you did
it very well. I
appreciate it.Copy !req
1166. Yeah.Copy !req
1167. I'm sure you know
I was curiousCopy !req
1168. about why you'd volunteer
for something like that.Copy !req
1169. Yeah.Copy !req
1170. So I got ahold of
some private polling
you've had done.Copy !req
1171. Oh.Copy !req
1172. Yeah?Copy !req
1173. A significant
number of peopleCopy !req
1174. are concerned over
your close ties to big oil.Copy !req
1175. Well, not anymore.Copy !req
1176. Yeah, but what
I was wonderingCopy !req
1177. was why did you put
the poll in the field at all?Copy !req
1178. Mr. Vice President,
what do you know that I don't?Copy !req
1179. Toby, the total tonnage
of what I know that you don'tCopy !req
1180. could stun a team of oxen
in its tracks.Copy !req
1181. Good night.Copy !req
1182. C.J.:
And then came
the big moment, Dad.Copy !req
1183. Everyone was enlisted.Copy !req
1184. You called whoever
you had a relationship withCopy !req
1185. and if you didn't get anywhereCopy !req
1186. they got a call
from the President.Copy !req
1187. Do I have your word
on that, Sarah?Copy !req
1188. We'd been at it 20 minutesCopy !req
1189. and we were coming up
with nothing until...Copy !req
1190. Got it!Copy !req
1191. Senator Tom Grissom
of Washington State was headedCopy !req
1192. from his office to the Chamber.Copy !req
1193. C.J.:
and everybody
started floodingCopy !req
1194. into the Communications Bullpen
to see what would happen.Copy !req
1195. the problem beingCopy !req
1196. of course, that Stackhouse
would have to knowCopy !req
1197. as much about rules
of procedure as Donna hadCopy !req
1198. and not think we were
trying to screw him.Copy !req
1199. We stared at 14 different
television setsCopy !req
1200. while calculating in our heads
the time it would take GrissomCopy !req
1201. to walk from his office
to the floor.Copy !req
1202. C.J.:
And we were in frozen silenceCopy !req
1203. while we listened
to the rules of blackjack.Copy !req
1204. unless you
are counting cards.Copy !req
1205. C.J.:
And then it happened.Copy !req
1206. Point of order, Mr. Chairman.Copy !req
1207. Mr. Grissom?Copy !req
1208. Will the Senator
yield for a question?Copy !req
1209. Come on.Copy !req
1210. Mr. Stackhouse?Copy !req
1211. Come on.Copy !req
1212. Trust me just this once,
you grouchy old son of a bitch.Copy !req
1213. Mr. Chairman, I yieldCopy !req
1214. to the Senator from WashingtonCopy !req
1215. for a question.Copy !req
1216. My question is in 22 partsCopy !req
1217. and might take quite a while.Copy !req
1218. Perhaps you'd like to sit and
have some water while I ask it.Copy !req
1219. C.J.:
And that was it.Copy !req
1220. Grissom gave him a rest,
and an opportunityCopy !req
1221. to answer some real questions
about autismCopy !req
1222. and when Grissom was done,
McNamara took overCopy !req
1223. and after McNamara came
Gianelli, grandfathers all.Copy !req
1224. I'm going to have
to finish this up nowCopy !req
1225. and go into the press room
and explain what happened.Copy !req
1226. There'll be no vote tonight
and the Senate will go homeCopy !req
1227. for the week,
and since Stackhouse...Copy !req
1228. with our help,
blew the print deadline anywayCopy !req
1229. there's really no reason...Copy !req
1230. for Josh not to go backCopy !req
1231. to the Conference Chairman
and reopen the bill.Copy !req
1232. C.J.:
There are so many days hereCopy !req
1233. where you can't imagine that
anything good will ever happen.Copy !req
1234. You're buried under
a black fog of partisanshipCopy !req
1235. and self-promotion
and stupidity...Copy !req
1236. and a brand of politics
that's just plain mean.Copy !req
1237. C.J.:
Yes, Hoynes had us nervous with
all his admonishment of big oilCopy !req
1238. and yes, the President
was making us nervous, tooCopy !req
1239. but that's for tomorrowCopy !req
1240. 'cause tonight I've seen a man
with no legs stay standing, DadCopy !req
1241. and a guy with no voice
keep shoutingCopy !req
1242. and if politics brings out
the worst in peopleCopy !req
1243. then maybe people
bring out the bestCopy !req
1244. 'cause I'm looking
at the TV right nowCopy !req
1245. and damn if 28 U.S. SenatorsCopy !req
1246. haven't just walked
onto the floor to help.Copy !req
1247. I'll catch the first plane out
in the morningCopy !req
1248. and if you wouldn't mind
not turning 70 until tomorrowCopy !req
1249. that'd be great.Copy !req
1250. In the meantime,
I love you so much.Copy !req
1251. Your daughter, Claudia.Copy !req