1. Previously on The West Wing:Copy !req
2. I didn't make the decision
to run again.Copy !req
3. I wouldn't do that without you.Copy !req
4. Sometimes I wonder
if I listened to
you two years agoCopy !req
5. would I be President right now?Copy !req
6. Do you ever
wonder that?Copy !req
7. No, sir, I know it for sure.Copy !req
8. Do you get
that you have MS?Copy !req
9. Abbey...Copy !req
10. Do you get that your
own immune system is
shredding your brain?Copy !req
11. I've had one episode
in two years.Copy !req
12. Mr. President, is there anything
we need to talk about?Copy !req
13. Not yet, okay?Copy !req
14. Okay.Copy !req
15. One teaspoon of salt,
one cup of cornflakes crumbsCopy !req
16. a pinch of white pepper.Copy !req
17. C.J.:
Dear Dad, first of all,
happy birthday.Copy !req
18. Second of all, let me explainCopy !req
19. why I'm not
on my way there right now.Copy !req
20. You're not going
to believe thisCopy !req
21. but it's because
of a filibusterCopy !req
22. a filibuster
that no one ever saw coming—Copy !req
23. not the Senate leadership,
not the party leadershipCopy !req
24. and not meCopy !req
25. and if you're angry at meCopy !req
26. well, you've got
a lot of company.Copy !req
27. I'm going to explain all this.Copy !req
28. Right now, it's Friday nightCopy !req
29. and everyone's trying
to get out the doorCopy !req
30. only I won't let them.Copy !req
31. from the pan
and drain on absorbent paper.Copy !req
32. 24 shrimp will yieldCopy !req
33. approximately
four to six servings.Copy !req
34. This isn't happening.Copy !req
35. For an accompaniment, I suggest
tartar sauce or chili sauce.Copy !req
36. C.J.?Copy !req
37. Yeah?Copy !req
38. What the hell is he doing?Copy !req
39. It's a recipe for deep-
fried fan-tailed shrimp.Copy !req
40. Yeah, but what's he still
doing up there?Copy !req
41. He's got a recipe book.Copy !req
42. How long will it go?
I don't know.Copy !req
43. I'm saying, how many
recipes are there?Copy !req
44. All together?
Yeah.Copy !req
45. I can't cook,
but I thinkCopy !req
46. there're probably
like, 20 or 30.Copy !req
47. You're screwing
around with me.
Oh, yeah.Copy !req
48. I'm about to miss
the 7:30 shuttle.Copy !req
49. If I miss the 8:30Copy !req
50. I miss the last train
to Sag Harbor.Copy !req
51. You can spend
the night in New York.Copy !req
52. I've only got two
nights, and you got
to see this house.Copy !req
53. It's cool?
It's a Frank Lloyd Wright.Copy !req
54. Isn't it cold in
Sag Harbor right now?Copy !req
55. We wear sweaters.Copy !req
56. It's a Tommy Hilfiger ad.Copy !req
57. He can't last forever.Copy !req
58. He's got 20 or 30 recipes
he could still read.Copy !req
59. Sam, seriously, there're
more recipes than that.Copy !req
60. Who cares?Copy !req
61. He's blowing my weekend
in the Hamptons.Copy !req
62. Maybe he doesn't know
about the sweaters.Copy !req
63. C.J.:
The reason they needed
to stick aroundCopy !req
64. is that the moment
the filibuster's overCopy !req
65. there'll be a vote, and once
they vote, I need my spin boys.Copy !req
66. C.J.!
I know.Copy !req
67. Who gave him
the recipe book?Copy !req
68. I really don't thinkCopy !req
69. we can blame this
on the recipe book.Copy !req
70. Plus, I now know the secret
to Cold Asparagus ChantillyCopy !req
71. is a quarter cup
of whipped cream.Copy !req
72. I'm going to
Port Saint LucieCopy !req
73. which may not mean
anything to youCopy !req
74. but it happens to be
the spring training home of...Copy !req
75. Of the New York Jets.
Yes, you've told me.Copy !req
76. Josh, you can watch
basketball on TV.Copy !req
77. Yes, except
the New York KnicksCopy !req
78. are a basketball team.Copy !req
79. The New York Jets
are a football team.Copy !req
80. Port Saint Lucie is the spring
training home of the New York...Copy !req
81. Mets! Yes, damn it.Copy !req
82. I'm inadequate.Copy !req
83. A weekend at
spring training, C.J.Copy !req
84. Mike Piazza's going to beCopy !req
85. standing in
the batting cage.Copy !req
86. He's going to turn
and see me.Copy !req
87. He's going to say, "Dude."Copy !req
88. Well, I wouldn't
want you to missCopy !req
89. a legitimate dude sighting.Copy !req
90. So I can take off?Copy !req
91. No.Copy !req
92. C.J.:
Why do I need the spin?Copy !req
93. 'Cause it's a bipartisan bill
and I'm all for bipartisanshipCopy !req
94. as long as we get the credit.Copy !req
95. So I've taken
the press corps hostage.Copy !req
96. Hey, guys, I'm sorry,
but you know what?Copy !req
97. ( filibuster
continues
)
Listen, seriouslyCopy !req
98. you're looking
at democracy at work.Copy !req
99. It's a beautiful thing.Copy !req
100. How much moreCopy !req
101. beauty can we
be expecting tonight, C.J.?Copy !req
102. Well, I wouldn't think
it would be that much longer.Copy !req
103. He's got a recipe book.Copy !req
104. But how many can
there be? 20, 30?Copy !req
105. C.J., it's Friday night.
I'm supposed to have
dinner with my girlfriend.Copy !req
106. She's going to kill me.Copy !req
107. Yeah, but you
know what, Mark?Copy !req
108. This is just
the kind of thingCopy !req
109. that can cleanse
the palateCopy !req
110. of a relationship
that's gone staleCopy !req
111. like a fine sorbet.Copy !req
112. We've been going out
for three weeks.Copy !req
113. And she's already
bitching about dinner?Copy !req
114. C.J...
Lose her.Copy !req
115. C.J...
Listen up, everybody.Copy !req
116. This was unforeseen.Copy !req
117. Obviously,
he's got to finish sometime.Copy !req
118. When he does,
there'll be a vote immediately.Copy !req
119. When it's done, the President
will make his callsCopy !req
120. White House staff will be
available for commentCopy !req
121. and most importantCopy !req
122. you will all
write about it.Copy !req
123. In the meantime,
I say pizza for everybody.Copy !req
124. Who's with me?Copy !req
125. Excellent.Copy !req
126. C.J...Copy !req
127. We're going
to need, likeCopy !req
128. a massive truckload
of pizzaCopy !req
129. and, I don't know,
maybe some Cuervo 1800Copy !req
130. if we got it lying around.Copy !req
131. How much?
Just enough for me.Copy !req
132. C.J.? So you knowCopy !req
133. I need to be at Telluride
first thing in the morning.Copy !req
134. That's a rough assignment
you pulled there.Copy !req
135. No, I'm saying
I already missed
the 6:50 to DenverCopy !req
136. but I can catch
an 8:40 from NationalCopy !req
137. if I change
planes in Chicago.Copy !req
138. And as your travel agent,
it's importantCopy !req
139. that you update me
on that information.Copy !req
140. C.J...
I'm supposed to be on
my way to Napa right nowCopy !req
141. for my dad's 70th birthday.Copy !req
142. You hear me complaining?Copy !req
143. You just did.Copy !req
144. Get out.Copy !req
145. It's your dad's
70th birthday?Copy !req
146. Yeah.Copy !req
147. You doing anything?Copy !req
148. Yeah, we're all
getting together in Napa.Copy !req
149. I meant right now.Copy !req
150. No, I'm sitting and waiting.Copy !req
151. I'm ordering pizza.Copy !req
152. I'm catching up on e-mails.Copy !req
153. All right.Copy !req
154. Got a basketball game
on in my office if
you want to come by.Copy !req
155. The Jets and the Mets?Copy !req
156. The Nets and the Hawks.
Jets and the Mets?Copy !req
157. I know the teams.
I'm joking when I do this.Copy !req
158. I'm joking when I do this.Copy !req
159. Okay.Copy !req
160. You know, there's a 9:00 to SFO.Copy !req
161. You can drive to Napa.Copy !req
162. Yeah.Copy !req
163. All right.Copy !req
164. I'm in my office.Copy !req
165. It'll end.Copy !req
166. You have any idea how manyCopy !req
167. recipes there are?Copy !req
168. I really don't.Copy !req
169. a pack of
frozen chicken liversCopy !req
170. one quarter of a pound
of dry mustard...Copy !req
171. C.J.:
So the press
is in the briefing roomCopy !req
172. the staff's in the west wing
and I'm right here.Copy !req
173. I'm betting when you hear thisCopy !req
174. you're going to be glad
I stayed.Copy !req
175. I'm betting
you're going to end upCopy !req
176. rooting for
a Minnesota SenatorCopy !req
177. named Howard Stackhouse.Copy !req
178. I got to tell you—Copy !req
179. this doesn't seem like
any old filibuster.Copy !req
180. The rules of a filibuster
are simple enough.Copy !req
181. You keep the floor
as long as you hold the floor.Copy !req
182. What does that mean?Copy !req
183. It means
you can't stop talking ever.Copy !req
184. You can't eat
and you can't drinkCopy !req
185. which is fine, because
you can't leave the ChamberCopy !req
186. to use the bathroom, either.Copy !req
187. But all that's nothing compared
to this:Copy !req
188. You're not allowed
to sit down.Copy !req
189. You're not allowed
to lean on anythingCopy !req
190. or, for that matter, anyone.Copy !req
191. It started with a billCopy !req
192. you'll read about
tomorrow morningCopy !req
193. called
the Family Wellness Act.Copy !req
194. Josh had been leading staffersCopy !req
195. from the Legislative
Liaison OfficeCopy !req
196. in negotiations with the
Conference Chairman for weeksCopy !req
197. and this last Monday morningCopy !req
198. he walked into Leo's office
and said...Copy !req
199. We got the
Family Wellness Act.Copy !req
200. It's done?
Yes, sir.Copy !req
201. What'd we get?
What'd we lose?Copy !req
202. Well, we got most of what
we wanted in Title VII.Copy !req
203. That's infant
hearing loss?Copy !req
204. We got a hearing test
for every child born
in the U.S.Copy !req
205. What about...?Copy !req
206. We did not getCopy !req
207. mandatory hearing testsCopy !req
208. for children
not born in hospitals.Copy !req
209. We can live with that.Copy !req
210. The Special Needs Adoption
Awareness Program?Copy !req
211. Right, this is
a national campaignCopy !req
212. to provide information
to the publicCopy !req
213. regarding the adoption
of special needs children.Copy !req
214. How did we get it?
By agreeing
to a provisionCopy !req
215. that would require health care
staff to give pregnant womenCopy !req
216. information
about adoptionCopy !req
217. on an equal basis with all
other courses of action.Copy !req
218. National
OrganizationCopy !req
219. for Women's going
to hate that.Copy !req
220. I know.Copy !req
221. Women seeking abortionsCopy !req
222. should not be required by lawCopy !req
223. to be lectured at.
You'll help me, right?Copy !req
224. Yes, I will.Copy !req
225. I will once againCopy !req
226. betray the
sisterhood.Copy !req
227. I saw you, you, you
and y roll your eyes.Copy !req
228. You weren't even
looking at me.Copy !req
229. I felt you.Copy !req
230. We're done.
Josh Lyman, everybody.Copy !req
231. Nice job.Copy !req
232. I know. I'm thinking
seriously about turning pro.Copy !req
233. Yeah?Copy !req
234. Yeah, I got agents
talking to meCopy !req
235. telling me I could go
high in the second roundCopy !req
236. maybe low in the first if
I have a good postseason.Copy !req
237. You don't want to stay in school
and get your education?Copy !req
238. Nah, I'm white.
Nobody's going to mind.Copy !req
239. Josh, this looks good.Copy !req
240. I mean, he stuck
sunsets on a bunchCopy !req
241. of small ticket
items, but...Copy !req
242. That's the way it's
going to happen.Copy !req
243. You just spent $6 billion
on health care.Copy !req
244. How do you feel?Copy !req
245. I'd feel better if
it meant just once
I could go to a doctorCopy !req
246. without filing out
something on a clipboard.Copy !req
247. All right. What else?Copy !req
248. Philip SlumanCopy !req
249. who's the ChairmanCopy !req
250. of the Petroleum
Producers of AmericaCopy !req
251. testified yesterday
to the FTCCopy !req
252. that "the Bartlet
Administration's"-- blah-blah—Copy !req
253. "relentless pursuit
of stricter emissions standardsCopy !req
254. "in the form
of additives like MTBECopy !req
255. is a big reason we've
seen price hikes in some
parts of the country."Copy !req
256. The Energy Secretary's
got to respond.Copy !req
257. The Energy Secretary's
going to respondCopy !req
258. and I'd like to mention that
to the Vice President.Copy !req
259. You want me
to do it?
I've got it.Copy !req
260. He's going to be
pretty unhappy.
Yeah.Copy !req
261. Anything else?Copy !req
262. No.Copy !req
263. No.Copy !req
264. No, sir.Copy !req
265. Thank you.Copy !req
266. C.J.:
So, there it was,
The Family Wellness ActCopy !req
267. an omnibus health bill
aimed at diseasesCopy !req
268. that disproportionately
affect children.Copy !req
269. This was a good day
'cause something got done.Copy !req
270. The problem is
we only thought it was done.Copy !req
271. Dad, this'd be a good time
to mention that it's possibleCopy !req
272. that an Egyptian cat goddess
named BastCopy !req
273. has put an ancient curse on me.Copy !req
274. C.J.Copy !req
275. Charlie.Copy !req
276. Listen...
May I call you Chip?Copy !req
277. No.
Chipper?Copy !req
278. No.
Gilligan?Copy !req
279. Listen.
Yes?Copy !req
280. Hassan Ali is coming here
at the end of the week.Copy !req
281. He's got 38 wives.
Yeah.Copy !req
282. Imagine being the girl he
dated who he didn't marry.Copy !req
283. C.J.?
Hassan Ali
is coming?Copy !req
284. Yeah, and on
the President's
trip to CairoCopy !req
285. Ali gave him a gift—
a ceramic statue.
Okay.Copy !req
286. The State Department told
the Office of ProtocolCopy !req
287. it's important that the gift
be displayed when Ali visits.Copy !req
288. Display it.Copy !req
289. The Office of Protocol
wasn't able to find it.Copy !req
290. They should talk
to the gift officer.Copy !req
291. They did.
And?Copy !req
292. They say you have it.Copy !req
293. I'm sorry?Copy !req
294. Sherry Halpern,
the gift officer on the tripCopy !req
295. says she handed it to you
in Cairo.Copy !req
296. Did you say
a small ceramic statue?Copy !req
297. Yeah, of a cat.Copy !req
298. Okay.Copy !req
299. Okay.Copy !req
300. Okay.Copy !req
301. C.J.?
Yes?Copy !req
302. You know anything about it?Copy !req
303. I'll have to think, Charlie.
It was a year agoCopy !req
304. and it's not like I have
instant recallCopy !req
305. of every ceramic cat statue
I've ever been handed in Cairo.Copy !req
306. Should I tell Protocol...?Copy !req
307. Tell Protocol I'm searching
my recollection.Copy !req
308. Protocol's recollection
seemed pretty good.Copy !req
309. Leave me now.
Sure.Copy !req
310. Toby.Copy !req
311. I'm going to see Hoynes.
Talk to me later.Copy !req
312. Okay. Carol?
What do you need?Copy !req
313. Some information,
possibly a disguise
and a fast getaway car.Copy !req
314. Come inside.Copy !req
315. Tell me somethingCopy !req
316. how did they
not anticipate
the flooding?Copy !req
317. There was an unexpectedly high
snowmelt.Copy !req
318. The snow fell three months ago.Copy !req
319. Did they not think it was going
to melt this year?Copy !req
320. Thank you,
everybody.Copy !req
321. Thank you so much.Copy !req
322. It was a pleasure.
Thank you.Copy !req
323. Beautiful quilts. Thank you.Copy !req
324. The temperatures
were unseasonably
warm last month.Copy !req
325. We don't know why.Copy !req
326. Well, it could have had
something to do with the
sun, though, right?Copy !req
327. Yes, sir.
Sir?Copy !req
328. We're done. Yeah.Copy !req
329. Can you see Toby Ziegler?Copy !req
330. Yeah.Copy !req
331. 25 million acre-feet
of water, Candy.Copy !req
332. That's eight trillion gallons.Copy !req
333. Yes, sir.
Hey, Toby.Copy !req
334. Good morning,
Mr. Vice President.Copy !req
335. The California Aqueduct is twice
the length of Pennsylvania.Copy !req
336. Did you know that?
I knew it was
pretty big.Copy !req
337. What do you need?Copy !req
338. Philip SlumanCopy !req
339. testifying yesterday
in front of the FTCCopy !req
340. charged that it was
the White House's pursuitCopy !req
341. of tighter emissions standards
that's caused the rise in...Copy !req
342. Phil Sluman had a good point.Copy !req
343. Mr. Vice President, I don't
want to go 'round and 'roundCopy !req
344. with you on Sluman.
Okay.Copy !req
345. He had no point.Copy !req
346. The policy forces them
to use expensive additivesCopy !req
347. whose benefits are questionable.Copy !req
348. It's price gouging.Copy !req
349. It costs marginally moreCopy !req
350. to refine the fuel
with the additivesCopy !req
351. and the cost is being
passed on to the consumerCopy !req
352. at an outrageous markup.Copy !req
353. Toby, if a refinery shuts down,
if there's a fireCopy !req
354. which isn't, like,
out of the questionCopy !req
355. when you're dealing
with petroleumCopy !req
356. production comes to a halt,
gas becomes scarceCopy !req
357. the prices go up,
then they come back down.Copy !req
358. Well, it's good to know
that the companies can make
it through the lean times.Copy !req
359. Yeah.Copy !req
360. Anyway, sir,
tomorrow nightCopy !req
361. Bill Trotter's going to be
delivering a speechCopy !req
362. to the Detroit Economic CouncilCopy !req
363. on "Energy Efficiency
in the 21st Century"Copy !req
364. and we're going to rewrite
the draft to includeCopy !req
365. a fairly strong rebuttal
to Philip Sluman's remarks.Copy !req
366. You shouldn't have
Bill Trotter do it.Copy !req
367. Why?Copy !req
368. His rants against the oil
companies have become familiar.Copy !req
369. The press has stopped
writing about him.Copy !req
370. Still...Copy !req
371. It's also pretty diceyCopy !req
372. political terrain
for the Energy Secretary.Copy !req
373. Who would you send?Copy !req
374. To punch back?
Yeah.Copy !req
375. Me.Copy !req
376. Really?Copy !req
377. I'm having a press conference
tomorrow afternoonCopy !req
378. to announce an advisory group
for the antitrust policy.Copy !req
379. I'll take questions at the end.Copy !req
380. I'll open it up for anythingCopy !req
381. and they will ask me
about Sluman and oil.Copy !req
382. Mr. Vice President...Copy !req
383. Toby, if you think
I'll be too soft on himCopy !req
384. stand in the back of the room.Copy !req
385. If you don't like what I say,
call Bill Trotter and sayCopy !req
386. "You're on for
tomorrow night."Copy !req
387. Would you mind if I prepared
some notes for you?Copy !req
388. Oh, not at all.Copy !req
389. Would you mind if I
shoved them up your ass?Copy !req
390. No, sir, I...Copy !req
391. Well, thank you, sir.Copy !req
392. We appreciate it.Copy !req
393. I heard you got the
Family Wellness Act.Copy !req
394. They're going to schedule
the vote for Friday at noon.Copy !req
395. You'll have the
bill by 12:05.Copy !req
396. Thank you,
Mr. Vice President.Copy !req
397. C.J.:
"I'll get back to the cat story
in a secondCopy !req
398. 'cause I have to interrupt
to say this:Copy !req
399. If you ever have a free
two hours and are so inclinedCopy !req
400. try standing up
without leaning on anythingCopy !req
401. and talking the whole time.Copy !req
402. You won't make it.
I wouldn't make it.Copy !req
403. Stackhouse wasn't supposed
to last 15 minutes.Copy !req
404. He's 78 years old.
He has a head cold.Copy !req
405. This bill is going to pass.Copy !req
406. He has no hope, to say nothing
of I can't imagineCopy !req
407. what the hell it is
he's fighting for.Copy !req
408. Stackhouse wasn't supposed
to last 15 minutes..."Copy !req
409. and that is how you prepareCopy !req
410. Virginia Green Apple Pie.Copy !req
411. Let's turn now
to David Copperfield.Copy !req
412. "Well, somebody forgot
to tell Stackhouse, DadCopy !req
413. 'cause he just went
into hour number eight."Copy !req
414. from 1812 to 1870 began
this... this great work...Copy !req
415. "... or whether that station
will be held by anybody elseCopy !req
416. "these pages must show.Copy !req
417. "To begin my life with
the beginning of my lifeCopy !req
418. "I record I was born, as I have
been informed and believeCopy !req
419. "on a Friday at 12:00 at night.Copy !req
420. "It was remarked that
the clock began to strikeCopy !req
421. and I began to cry,
simultaneously..."Copy !req
422. Hey.Copy !req
423. Hey.Copy !req
424. What are you doing?Copy !req
425. Well, it's a little complicated
and indeed difficult to explainCopy !req
426. in layman's terms.Copy !req
427. You can put the black
seven on the red eight.Copy !req
428. Thanks.Copy !req
429. Hey, Sam, who's
your favorite writer?Copy !req
430. Toby.Copy !req
431. Who's your favorite
fiction writer?Copy !req
432. You're listening to him
right now.Copy !req
433. You like Dickens?Copy !req
434. Oh... yeah.Copy !req
435. You know, I never got
a chance to say...Copy !req
436. I mean, I feel bad about
your dad and everything.Copy !req
437. Yeah.Copy !req
438. We're doing better.Copy !req
439. You know,
the ice is starting to thaw.Copy !req
440. I'm in the middle of
an e-mail to my father.Copy !req
441. Do you talk
to him a lot?Copy !req
442. Not enough.Copy !req
443. You're going to miss
the last plane.Copy !req
444. I'll take Amtrak to Penn Station
and rent a car.Copy !req
445. Okay. Well, I just came
down to get this coffee.Copy !req
446. Go back to your e-mail.Copy !req
447. Hey, did I hear you got spankedCopy !req
448. by some 14-year-old kid
interning at the GAO?Copy !req
449. I did not get spanked,
and she was 19 years oldCopy !req
450. and I demonstrated once againCopy !req
451. that I am open
to all forms of debate.Copy !req
452. With an intern?Copy !req
453. If need be.Copy !req
454. Okay.Copy !req
455. She was very crafty.Copy !req
456. Who?Copy !req
457. The intern
from the GAO.Copy !req
458. Yeah.Copy !req
459. Go back to your e-mail.Copy !req
460. I am.
Okay.Copy !req
461. I'm taking my
coffee with me.Copy !req
462. I'll see you upstairs.Copy !req
463. "... and then she made a..."Copy !req
464. "Then she made a frown
and a gesture to my motherCopy !req
465. "like one who was accustomed
to be obeyedCopy !req
466. to come open the door..."Copy !req
467. Dear Jackass...Copy !req
468. "'Mrs. David Copperfield,
I think,' said Miss BetsyCopy !req
469. "the emphasis referring, perhapsCopy !req
470. "to my mother's mourning weedsCopy !req
471. "and her condition,
not having been lighted, indeedCopy !req
472. since my father's funeral."Copy !req
473. Dear Dad, C.J. Cregg's
writing an e-mail to her
fatherCopy !req
474. to kill time
during a filibusterCopy !req
475. and it reminded me
that I haven't told youCopy !req
476. any tales from the White House
in the last few weeks.Copy !req
477. Let's start again, okay?Copy !req
478. Here's one about
how I got yelled atCopy !req
479. by a 19-year-old internCopy !req
480. from the
General Accounting Office.Copy !req
481. Josh was having
his twice weekly meetingCopy !req
482. with Assistant Deputies.Copy !req
483. He was basically staffing outCopy !req
484. in-box material
for the next few days.Copy !req
485. I was looking
for a good piece of fruit.Copy !req
486. Write this down.Copy !req
487. I-I need you to find out
if sufficient fundsCopy !req
488. have been appropriated
to the FAACopy !req
489. to begin work
on data-link communications.Copy !req
490. They're going to ask
me what "sufficient
funds" mean.Copy !req
491. That's when you get me
on the phone. Sam?Copy !req
492. What are you doing?Copy !req
493. I'm looking
for a piece of fruit.Copy !req
494. Can we show you something
from the back or...?Copy !req
495. I'm fine.Copy !req
496. Okay, here's one.Copy !req
497. Uh, the White House has been
instructed by CongressCopy !req
498. to compile a list
of 400 government reportsCopy !req
499. that should be eliminated
as they serve little purposeCopy !req
500. and cost the taxpayers
hundreds of millions of dollars.Copy !req
501. We'll assume, though
the modifier was danglingCopy !req
502. they mean the reports
serve little purposeCopy !req
503. and not Congress itself.Copy !req
504. Who wants to lead it?Copy !req
505. I will.Copy !req
506. Right. You're not
in this meeting.Copy !req
507. You're shopping for fruit.Copy !req
508. I'm done with the fruit.Copy !req
509. I was listening to you.Copy !req
510. You want to do this?Copy !req
511. Absolutely.
Why?Copy !req
512. 'Cause it's insane.Copy !req
513. We got over 3,000 reports
from federal agencies last year.Copy !req
514. Agriculture spent
$40 millionCopy !req
515. producing
280 reports.Copy !req
516. Four years of college,
three years of law school—Copy !req
517. I spent 30 bucks at Kinko's.Copy !req
518. Give me the thing.Copy !req
519. All right, we're done.Copy !req
520. Let me tell
you people something.Copy !req
521. The GAO needs
a little housekeepingCopy !req
522. and that's my nickname, okay?Copy !req
523. I'm the Housekeeper.Copy !req
524. Hey.Copy !req
525. God, that's a
terrible nickname.Copy !req
526. I'd start getting used
to it for a while.Copy !req
527. Let me talk to you
a second.Copy !req
528. I'm not going with
that nickname anymore.Copy !req
529. What's going on?Copy !req
530. I was just with Hoynes.Copy !req
531. About Sluman's testimony?Copy !req
532. Yeah.
What'd he say?Copy !req
533. He defended it.Copy !req
534. Isn't that what
you expected?
Yeah.Copy !req
535. Did you tell him Bill
Trotter was going...?
Yeah.Copy !req
536. What'd he say?Copy !req
537. He said he wanted
to do it himself.Copy !req
538. Really?
Yeah.Copy !req
539. I don't understand.Copy !req
540. He said he's doing
a press conference tomorrow...Copy !req
541. Antitrust.Copy !req
542. Yeah, and he'll take questions
at the endCopy !req
543. and they'll ask
about the Sluman testimonyCopy !req
544. and he'll step up.Copy !req
545. Well, somebody's got
to be there.Copy !req
546. Oh... I'm going to be there.Copy !req
547. If he ducks,
Trotter goes on in DetroitCopy !req
548. but still, is it clear to you
what he's doing?Copy !req
549. No.Copy !req
550. Me, neither.Copy !req
551. Okay, so, I got a team together
and went about the taskCopy !req
552. of recommending 400 government
reports for elimination.Copy !req
553. Report on the use of Pell Grants
for the incarcerated.Copy !req
554. What's that?Copy !req
555. Education scholarships
for prisoners.Copy !req
556. Wasn't that program
terminated?
Yeah.Copy !req
557. But we write
the reports anyway?Copy !req
558. Yeah.
Lose it.Copy !req
559. Report on
the study
of Route 66.Copy !req
560. Which tells us...?Copy !req
561. Condition and
traffic flowCopy !req
562. of America's oldest
transcontinental highway.Copy !req
563. Anything in there
I don't get from the song?
Nope.Copy !req
564. Lose it.
( exasperated sigh )Copy !req
565. Excuse me?Copy !req
566. I didn't say anything.Copy !req
567. You made a little sound there.Copy !req
568. Sorry. I'll be out of your wayCopy !req
569. in just a moment.
Okay.Copy !req
570. There are tiny
clams or musselsCopy !req
571. taking over
the Great lakes.Copy !req
572. Lose it.Copy !req
573. Can I help you?Copy !req
574. No, you seem to be screwing
the world upCopy !req
575. all by yourself.Copy !req
576. Who are you?Copy !req
577. I'm an intern at the GAO.Copy !req
578. It's almost noon. They're going
to be starting the vote.Copy !req
579. Let's go watch.
Yeah.Copy !req
580. Can you stay a second?Copy !req
581. You're an intern?Copy !req
582. Yes.Copy !req
583. What are you, 14 years old?Copy !req
584. I'm 19 years old.Copy !req
585. And what's your problem
with my cutting reports?Copy !req
586. Nothing, other than it being
utterly bogus.Copy !req
587. What's your name?Copy !req
588. Winnifred Hooper.Copy !req
589. Should I call you Winnie?Copy !req
590. Not unless you want me
to spit at you.Copy !req
591. And I don't.
Okay.Copy !req
592. Winnifred,
the accounting office tells meCopy !req
593. I can save the taxpayers
$3 millionCopy !req
594. by cutting 400 reports.Copy !req
595. Now every American family
can realize their dreamCopy !req
596. of a college education
for their childrenCopy !req
597. with the penny and a half
you just saved them.Copy !req
598. Okay, you know what?
You blow through
these thingsCopy !req
599. like they don't
mean anything.Copy !req
600. They don't mean anything.Copy !req
601. You're an idiot!
Hey, hey.Copy !req
602. You're talking
to senior staff.Copy !req
603. Gee, genuflect
when you say that, fella.Copy !req
604. "Report on the ObstaclesCopy !req
605. "to State and Local
Training NeedsCopy !req
606. in the Solid Waste Management
and Resource Recovery."Copy !req
607. You know
what this is?
Yes.Copy !req
608. It's about career
opportunities
for garbagemen.Copy !req
609. And what's
wrong with that?Copy !req
610. I think it's a tough sellCopy !req
611. and I don't need a report
to tell me that.Copy !req
612. Do you have any idea
how much MSW this country
generates in a single year?Copy !req
613. That's...?Copy !req
614. Municipal solid waste.Copy !req
615. I knew that.Copy !req
616. 209 million tons
of MSW, or 4.3 poundsCopy !req
617. per person per day,
and the kicker isCopy !req
618. we only have hard
data availableCopy !req
619. from five years ago.Copy !req
620. So the numbers would be
even higher today.Copy !req
621. You bet your
boots they would.Copy !req
622. Trash collectors playCopy !req
623. an incredibly important
role in our society.Copy !req
624. They start work at 4:00 a.m.Copy !req
625. A three-person crew
could service 1,200 homesCopy !req
626. in six hours collecting
50,000 pounds of garbage.Copy !req
627. How do you know all that?Copy !req
628. I've read the report.Copy !req
629. You've read the report?Copy !req
630. Yes.
Why?Copy !req
631. I'm allowed.
Anybody's allowed.Copy !req
632. No, I-I mean, why?Copy !req
633. Well, they're
all sitting in
the office I work in.Copy !req
634. So it just happensCopy !req
635. you read the report
I pulled off the top?Copy !req
636. I've read them all.Copy !req
637. You've read them all?Copy !req
638. I-I like to read.Copy !req
639. They let me come early
and stay after.Copy !req
640. Mr. SeabornCopy !req
641. the bottom line isCopy !req
642. because of the low
rate of unemploymentCopy !req
643. people can be
a lot more choosyCopy !req
644. and the municipal
sanitation departmentsCopy !req
645. are having trouble
hiring qualified
trash collectorsCopy !req
646. which I think
you'll agree we need.Copy !req
647. Yes.Copy !req
648. Well, okay.Copy !req
649. I have to go back to my room.Copy !req
650. Winnie?Copy !req
651. Yeah, I said it.Copy !req
652. Listen, you're talented.Copy !req
653. When you get out of school,
you should come see meCopy !req
654. for a job.Copy !req
655. I... I-I suppose you're
not a complete loser...Copy !req
656. and you write very well.Copy !req
657. So, when I get
out of schoolCopy !req
658. you should come see me
for a job.Copy !req
659. C.J.:
Back to the cat story, Dad.Copy !req
660. I've done my researchCopy !req
661. and sure enough,
I was quite screwed.Copy !req
662. I was in trouble and I needed
to tell someone— a cohort—Copy !req
663. someone whose criminal mind
was equal to my own.Copy !req
664. Donna, I need to talk
to you right now.Copy !req
665. I have to get
these to people.Copy !req
666. So, we went to Cairo
last year.Copy !req
667. Not me.Copy !req
668. Right.
I had strep.Copy !req
669. I didn't,
which is sad for me.Copy !req
670. Are you in trouble?Copy !req
671. I may be
in a spot of trouble, yes.Copy !req
672. What happened?Copy !req
673. Hassan Ali gave
the President a gift—Copy !req
674. a small ceramic
statue of Bast.Copy !req
675. Bast?Copy !req
676. Bast— a
cat goddess.Copy !req
677. She was...
Donna,
did Josh leave?Copy !req
678. He went to lunch.Copy !req
679. She was the patron
saint of BubastisCopy !req
680. and rose to prominenceCopy !req
681. during the period of
the 22nd Dynasty.Copy !req
682. How do you know all this?Copy !req
683. I looked it up.Copy !req
684. The cats in
the temple...Copy !req
685. What temple?Copy !req
686. The Temple of Bubastis,
maybe, I don't know.Copy !req
687. The cats in the temple
wore jeweled collars.Copy !req
688. They were treated royally.Copy !req
689. They thought
cats controlled the
movement of the moon.Copy !req
690. They had total authority
over royal housesCopy !req
691. because of their ability
to see in the dark.Copy !req
692. Anyone who killed a cat
was put to death.Copy !req
693. I'm sorry, C.J.,
I'm not...Copy !req
694. I broke the damn statue.Copy !req
695. Not badly...Copy !req
696. but, you know,
in several piecesCopy !req
697. and since it came out
of his own collectionCopy !req
698. breaking the figurineCopy !req
699. would amount to
a personal affrontCopy !req
700. implying he had bad taste
and that the objectCopy !req
701. was of little personal
value to the President.Copy !req
702. Donna, they're asking for you
back at your desk.Copy !req
703. How did you break it?Copy !req
704. The gift officer handed
it to me. I tossed
it in my suitcase.Copy !req
705. You tossed it in...?
Do you have any idea
how many pieces of crapCopy !req
706. get stuck in the
President's handsCopy !req
707. every time he leaves
the building?Copy !req
708. Didn't the gift officer know
it was a priceless relic?Copy !req
709. Well, apparently not
because she handed it to meCopy !req
710. with a couple of T-shirts
and a box of baklava.Copy !req
711. Donna.
Yeah.Copy !req
712. Why are you telling me this?Copy !req
713. I thought maybe
you'd have an idea.Copy !req
714. There's nothing really
I can think of right nowCopy !req
715. except to agree that
you're monumentally screwed.Copy !req
716. I hate to leave it at that.Copy !req
717. But you're going to.
Yeah.Copy !req
718. What's going on?Copy !req
719. It's this phone message
for Josh.Copy !req
720. Who's it from?Copy !req
721. Howard Stackhouse.Copy !req
722. Who has my wallet?Copy !req
723. Thank you.Copy !req
724. Josh.Copy !req
725. Did Senator Stackhouse
ask you to meet with
one of his aides?Copy !req
726. Yeah.
'Cause I don't
have it down.Copy !req
727. Yeah, I'm not
taking it.
Why?Copy !req
728. He wants an amendment added
to the Family Wellness ActCopy !req
729. that will allocate money
for autism care and research.Copy !req
730. And we don't want to?Copy !req
731. This is what's called
a Christmas tree bill.Copy !req
732. Everyone hangs amendments on it.Copy !req
733. We just closed it this morning.Copy !req
734. We try and hang a star on top...Copy !req
735. The tree topples over
and it doesn't pass.Copy !req
736. Stackhouse isn't someone who has
a lot of muscle on this, so...Copy !req
737. You got this
phone message.Copy !req
738. From his office?
From him.Copy !req
739. "You're going to
meet with meCopy !req
740. or there's not going to be
a vote while I'm alive.
Stackhouse."Copy !req
741. Give me that.Copy !req
742. C.J.:
so maybe it's
the curse of the BastCopy !req
743. that made us not take
the Stackhouse threat
seriouslyCopy !req
744. but whatever the reason,
it's time to take it seriouslyCopy !req
745. 'cause he's gassing me
out of time.Copy !req
746. Still, I've got two hours
till the 11:00 print deadlineCopy !req
747. and there's no way.Copy !req
748. There's no way he goes
another two hours.Copy !req
749. Let's move on
to the rules of cards.Copy !req
750. There's no way.Copy !req
751. The message was pretty crypticCopy !req
752. like something
you'd slip to a bank tellerCopy !req
753. and it was unusual to get itCopy !req
754. directly from a Senator who'd
normally dispatch an aide.Copy !req
755. Leo agreed,
but was in no way concerned.Copy !req
756. He told me to go ahead
and take the meetingCopy !req
757. but not to sweat itCopy !req
758. and under no circumstances
give anything away.Copy !req
759. So I headed up to the HillCopy !req
760. wearing, by the way,
the new shoes you bought meCopy !req
761. which I had never worn before.Copy !req
762. Since Dad's not here to do itCopy !req
763. I think it's my job to bore you
with history now.Copy !req
764. The filibuster's been part
of the parliamentary stratagemCopy !req
765. in this country
for over 150 years.Copy !req
766. Now, the reason
we weren't sweating StackhouseCopy !req
767. is that Stackhouse
isn't really someone you
sweat.Copy !req
768. but he has little influence,
little power and few friends.Copy !req
769. So Dad would want me
to tell youCopy !req
770. where the word "filibuster"
comes from.Copy !req
771. It's from
the Dutch "vry guiter"Copy !req
772. which translated literally
means "freebooter"Copy !req
773. but what they meant
was "buccaneer."Copy !req
774. Afternoon, Senator.Copy !req
775. Good afternoon.Copy !req
776. Sounds like a bad cold.Copy !req
777. It's fine.Copy !req
778. You taking anything?Copy !req
779. I don't want
to talk about my cold.Copy !req
780. I want $47 million
to fight autism.Copy !req
781. Sir...
Five centers
of excellenceCopy !req
782. at universities
around the countryCopy !req
783. to help scientists
coordinate their researchCopy !req
784. three special units for
autism epidemiology at the CDCCopy !req
785. and a centralized
facilityCopy !req
786. for gene and brain banking.Copy !req
787. That's $43 million.Copy !req
788. Senator...
Uh, the other
$4 millionCopy !req
789. is for a federal program
to educate doctors in orderCopy !req
790. to reduce the staggeringly high
percentage of casesCopy !req
791. in which autism is misdiagnosed.Copy !req
792. We can't do it.Copy !req
793. Of course you can.Copy !req
794. You simply pick up the phone,
you callCopy !req
795. the Conference
Chairman and...Copy !req
796. The bill started out
at $2 billion.Copy !req
797. It's $6 billion now.Copy !req
798. That's right.Copy !req
799. So another $47 million
hurts you how?
Sir...Copy !req
800. It's eight-tenths of one percentCopy !req
801. of a bill aimed at health issues
affecting childrenCopy !req
802. which is roughly
the sameCopy !req
803. as the percentage of children
affected by autism.Copy !req
804. I don't need to tell you
that in these negotiations...Copy !req
805. In these
negotiationsCopy !req
806. about a bill aimed at
health issues affecting childrenCopy !req
807. we've allocated funds
for Alzheimer's, glaucomaCopy !req
808. and erectile dysfunction.Copy !req
809. Sir...
You know a lot
of two-year-oldsCopy !req
810. afflicted with that
horrific conditionCopy !req
811. do you?Copy !req
812. There's no doubt
that that's a good pointCopy !req
813. but in order for us to ensureCopy !req
814. that more important things
were in the bill...Copy !req
815. So there was
a determination made, hmm?Copy !req
816. I'm sorry?Copy !req
817. A determination was madeCopy !req
818. an order of priorities.Copy !req
819. Senator, there's going
to be a vote.Copy !req
820. The bill's closed.Copy !req
821. Open it back up again.Copy !req
822. To do that would mean
to postpone the voteCopy !req
823. and everyone's breaking
for the recess, and...Copy !req
824. And you want the story
before everyone goes home.Copy !req
825. Yeah.Copy !req
826. Okay.Copy !req
827. Sir, the next time aroundCopy !req
828. and there will be
a next time around...Copy !req
829. That's all.Copy !req
830. I'm done with you now.Copy !req
831. And that was that.Copy !req
832. TV news reporter:
Also in the news at this hourCopy !req
833. parliamentary procedure
in all of its gloryCopy !req
834. as a Senate filibuster
watches day turn to nightCopy !req
835. and possibly
back into day again.Copy !req
836. 78-year-old Minnesota Senator
Howard StackhouseCopy !req
837. stands alone tonight in the well
of the Senate ChamberCopy !req
838. as his colleagues somewhat
impatiently wait for a voteCopy !req
839. that was scheduled to take place
more than nine hours ago.Copy !req
840. Stackhouse, a five-term senator
who once...Copy !req
841. Hey, Zach?
Yeah?Copy !req
842. You guys record the news feeds
coming in, right?
Yeah.Copy !req
843. Could I get a dub
of the B-roll they're showingCopy !req
844. on the Stackhouse story?Copy !req
845. It's three or four seconds,
it's a campaign stopCopy !req
846. and his grandchildren
are with him.Copy !req
847. The voice-over is talking about
his seven grandchildren.Copy !req
848. Sure, what's
the problem?Copy !req
849. It's nothing.Copy !req
850. I'll have it sent
up in a few minutes.Copy !req
851. Thanks.
Donna.Copy !req
852. You're booked
tomorrow morningCopy !req
853. 8:55, United, direct
to West Palm Beach.Copy !req
854. Which gets in at...?Copy !req
855. 12:58.Copy !req
856. It's still a 70-
mile drive to
Port Saint Lucie.Copy !req
857. I'll miss the game.Copy !req
858. I thought
they weren't playing yet.Copy !req
859. It's an exhibition game.Copy !req
860. You're flying to FloridaCopy !req
861. to see the Mets
play another teamCopy !req
862. in a game that
doesn't count?Copy !req
863. Actually,
it's an intra-squad game.Copy !req
864. So, you're
flying to FloridaCopy !req
865. to see the Mets play each other
in a game that doesn't count.Copy !req
866. Yeah.Copy !req
867. Okay. Uh, there's
a Continental flightCopy !req
868. out of Dulles at 7:00 a.m.Copy !req
869. You change planes in Newark.Copy !req
870. I got to fly to New Jersey
to get to Palm Beach?Copy !req
871. Look...
Whatever.Copy !req
872. Just make sure
that tomorrow morning...Copy !req
873. Mike Piazza calls you "dude."Copy !req
874. Yes.Copy !req
875. What are
you doing?Copy !req
876. I'm writing an e-mail
to my mother.Copy !req
877. Why?Copy !req
878. To thank herCopy !req
879. for a pair of shoes she sent me.Copy !req
880. Your mother sent you shoes?Copy !req
881. Donna, please,
try and keep it...Copy !req
882. That is the sweetest thing...Copy !req
883. Donna...Copy !req
884. Okay.Copy !req
885. Donna says hi, Mom.Copy !req
886. Anyway, I didn't think muchCopy !req
887. about the meeting
with Stackhouse afterward.Copy !req
888. There are always
going to be peopleCopy !req
889. who don't get what they want.Copy !req
890. I was thinking
about other things.Copy !req
891. Like Toby, I was puzzled
as to why the Vice PresidentCopy !req
892. who made his money
from the oil industryCopy !req
893. who champions the oil industryCopy !req
894. would volunteer to admonish
the oil industry.Copy !req
895. Uh, Steve.Copy !req
896. Sir, I'm sure you're awareCopy !req
897. that Philip Sluman
testified before the FTCCopy !req
898. that the Bartlet
Administration'sCopy !req
899. relentless pursuit
of stricter emissions standardsCopy !req
900. in the form of additives is why
we're seeing price spikes.Copy !req
901. Yeah.Copy !req
902. Would you comment on that?Copy !req
903. Yeah. Our relentless pursuit
of cleaner air standardsCopy !req
904. has resulted
in lower asthma ratesCopy !req
905. and the cleanest air
in California in 50 years.Copy !req
906. It costs
marginally moreCopy !req
907. to refine fuel
with additivesCopy !req
908. but the costs
are being passed on to consumersCopy !req
909. at an outrageous price.Copy !req
910. Mr. Vice President...Copy !req
911. Uh, yeah, Chris.Copy !req
912. Are you accusing membersCopy !req
913. of the PPA of price gouging?Copy !req
914. Well, some of these CEOs
are old friends of mineCopy !req
915. but, uh, I can tell you they do
know how to turn a profit.Copy !req
916. Now, they'll claim
that prices willCopy !req
917. go back down after
production increases...Copy !req
918. Hoynes just kept hammering awayCopy !req
919. and I was reminded for a minuteCopy !req
920. how close he came
to being elected President.Copy !req
921. Toby said it was an impressive
display from HoynesCopy !req
922. but couldn't get past
the questionCopy !req
923. of why he volunteered to do it.Copy !req
924. And if you're wonderingCopy !req
925. what the President does
during a filibusterCopy !req
926. I don't know,
'cause this is our firstCopy !req
927. but at the momentCopy !req
928. he's in his private dining room
having dinner.Copy !req
929. There's a famous French chef
visitingCopy !req
930. and every time he comes,
he cooks for the President.Copy !req
931. ( knocking )
Leo.Copy !req
932. Good evening, sir.Copy !req
933. You busy?Copy !req
934. What do you need?Copy !req
935. Come have dinner with me.Copy !req
936. Why?Copy !req
937. Pierre Boileau
is cooking tonight.Copy !req
938. You want to have dinner?Copy !req
939. What's he serving?Copy !req
940. That's your answer?Copy !req
941. I'm just asking.Copy !req
942. Well, I can tell you
that the man specializesCopy !req
943. in a reinterpretation
of classic Provencal cuisine.Copy !req
944. Cassoulet,
Duck with green olives...Copy !req
945. Yeah?
Saffron chicken.Copy !req
946. I haven't had
a good saffron chickenCopy !req
947. in quite some time.Copy !req
948. Well, don't you think
you deserve one?Copy !req
949. Yes.Copy !req
950. His specialty is his dessertCopy !req
951. Tomate de Saltambique.Copy !req
952. That's going to be
a big, seedless beefsteak tomatoCopy !req
953. stewed for three hours in creme
de caramel and stuffed with...Copy !req
954. Passion fruit,
kiwi and hazelnuts, and...Copy !req
955. Served on
a pomegranate reduction, yes.Copy !req
956. Let's go.Copy !req
957. Leave the
cell phone.Copy !req
958. I'm taking my phone.Copy !req
959. We're not leaving
the building.Copy !req
960. People can find you.Copy !req
961. Let's go.
What's he onto now?Copy !req
962. The rules of blackjack.Copy !req
963. Oh, brother.Copy !req
964. Don't worry about it.Copy !req
965. Could Howard Stackhouse
possibly beCopy !req
966. a bigger horse's patoot?Copy !req
967. I don't know what part
of a horse that is exactlyCopy !req
968. but I've always thought
he was a decent guy.Copy !req
969. He's a curmudgeon,
a grouchy old crank.Copy !req
970. So are we.
You are.Copy !req
971. I am full of mirth.Copy !req
972. Okay.Copy !req
973. He was all over me
the first year.Copy !req
974. He called me
"Bartlet the Inert."Copy !req
975. That was
pretty funny.Copy !req
976. I'm a reformer. I'm the
most liberal President
he's ever served under.Copy !req
977. His hero, Hubert Humphrey,
once, you know...Copy !req
978. Shook your hand.
That's right.Copy !req
979. I feel bad.Copy !req
980. Why?Copy !req
981. His wife died
a few years ago.Copy !req
982. I didn't go
to the funeral.Copy !req
983. Why?Copy !req
984. I was kind of busy
running for President, Leo.Copy !req
985. That's right.Copy !req
986. Tomate de Saltambique,
my friend.Copy !req
987. Yes, indeed.Copy !req
988. Good evening.Copy !req
989. Hi. Hang on.Copy !req
990. They thought
I was goingCopy !req
991. to be eating
with Abbey, so...Copy !req
992. Yeah.Copy !req
993. We'll just, you know,
pretend there's
no candlelight.Copy !req
994. Or that we're not paranoid
homophobes in any way.Copy !req
995. Yeah.Copy !req
996. Yeah.Copy !req
997. Leo, you have a deputyCopy !req
998. who's, frankly, a lot
smarter than you are.Copy !req
999. Whatever it is,
let him handle it.Copy !req
1000. Who are you talking to?Copy !req
1001. My deputy.Copy !req
1002. Oh.
Yeah.Copy !req
1003. What does he say?Copy !req
1004. He says
there's no end in sight.Copy !req
1005. Okay, let's eat.Copy !req
1006. C.J.?
Yeah.Copy !req
1007. Listen, I was looking at
the B-roll they're showingCopy !req
1008. on the Stackhouse storyCopy !req
1009. and there's something
that struck me as odd.Copy !req
1010. What?Copy !req
1011. They show
two different eventsCopy !req
1012. during his last campaignCopy !req
1013. and his grandchildren
are next to him on stage.Copy !req
1014. He's got seven of them.Copy !req
1015. What's the problem?Copy !req
1016. There are only six
in the shot.Copy !req
1017. I don't think this is
what we think it is.Copy !req
1018. I don't think he's
just being ornery.Copy !req
1019. I think he
has a grandson
who's autistic.Copy !req
1020. Oh, holy hell.Copy !req
1021. Tell Josh.
Find out for sure.Copy !req
1022. Yeah.Copy !req
1023. More brandy, sir?Copy !req
1024. Nah, I'm fine.Copy !req
1025. I hope the First Lady'sCopy !req
1026. not feeling ill
this evening.Copy !req
1027. No, she's up at the
Manchester house.Copy !req
1028. Very good, sir.Copy !req
1029. No, it really sucks,
but thanks.Copy !req
1030. Yes, sir.Copy !req
1031. Did you hear that?Copy !req
1032. He said,
"Very good, sir."Copy !req
1033. Where do they
learn that?Copy !req
1034. Yeah. I'm sorry?Copy !req
1035. Nothing.Copy !req
1036. I'm sure that was moved
for a reason.Copy !req
1037. We're prepping
for a G-8 with BarneyCopy !req
1038. and we're going
to Tel Aviv.Copy !req
1039. I just feel like
we don't talk anymore.Copy !req
1040. Tel Aviv's
the week after.Copy !req
1041. What?Copy !req
1042. See, you're not even listening.Copy !req
1043. Ben, let me call you back.Copy !req
1044. What's your problem?Copy !req
1045. I'm just saying we work all
day and then the day's overCopy !req
1046. and we go out to dinner
and you're still workingCopy !req
1047. and, you know,
I'm sitting here.Copy !req
1048. No time to talk.Copy !req
1049. You know,
conversations like thisCopy !req
1050. are the reason I got divorced.Copy !req
1051. No, it's not.Copy !req
1052. Sir...Copy !req
1053. what's wrong?Copy !req
1054. I made...Copy !req
1055. Uh... I'm fine, Billy.Copy !req
1056. I made a deal with Abbey...Copy !req
1057. 'cause of my thing.Copy !req
1058. One term?Copy !req
1059. My thing, by the way,
is the reasonCopy !req
1060. that Hoynes stepped up on oil.Copy !req
1061. 'Cause he thinks maybe...Copy !req
1062. Yeah.Copy !req
1063. It was three years ago.Copy !req
1064. She can't expect...Copy !req
1065. Yeah.Copy !req
1066. Yeah.Copy !req
1067. It's C.J.Copy !req
1068. Stackhouse has
an autistic grandson.Copy !req
1069. ( sighs ):
Let's go.Copy !req
1070. C.J., we're coming up.Copy !req
1071. Charlie?Copy !req
1072. He's just coming over.Copy !req
1073. Thanks. Can we wait?Copy !req
1074. Yeah. Look, C.J.,
one of usCopy !req
1075. is going to have to tell
the PresidentCopy !req
1076. that the statue's broken.Copy !req
1077. It's not broken.
It is broken.Copy !req
1078. She Crazy Glued it
back together.Copy !req
1079. You Crazy Glued it?
I didn't know
what it was.Copy !req
1080. I needed a
potpourri holder.Copy !req
1081. I have the ancient
curse of Bast on meCopy !req
1082. so get off
my back, Sparky.Copy !req
1083. Okay, but when you tell him,
I'd leave out the Crazy Glue.Copy !req
1084. And potpourri, right?
Yeah.Copy !req
1085. Here we go.Copy !req
1086. How does he not just tell me?Copy !req
1087. Sir...
How does he not
come to me and sayCopy !req
1088. "Jed, this is my grandson and
there are lots more like himCopy !req
1089. and there are lots more to come.
Can you help us out?Copy !req
1090. Because he...
Damn it, he knows we
would've gotten it done.Copy !req
1091. Why doesn't he tell me...?Copy !req
1092. Because he doesn't
want to make political hayCopy !req
1093. out of his grandson,
which is commendable.Copy !req
1094. Nah, he's a crank.Copy !req
1095. Good evening,
Mr. President.Copy !req
1096. Hey.Copy !req
1097. Hey, Donna,
you need something?Copy !req
1098. Donna's the one who
started sniffing around it.Copy !req
1099. C.J., that phone message
was for real.Copy !req
1100. He's not going to stop
till he drops.Copy !req
1101. He might.Copy !req
1102. C.J., let me tell you something.Copy !req
1103. Don't ever, everCopy !req
1104. underestimate
the will of a grandfather.Copy !req
1105. We're madmen;
we don't give a damn.Copy !req
1106. We got here before you
and they'll be here after.Copy !req
1107. We'll make enemies, we'll break
laws, we'll break bonesCopy !req
1108. but you will not mess
with the grandchildren.Copy !req
1109. There was quite a bit of sugar
in the creme de caramel.Copy !req
1110. Yeah.Copy !req
1111. C.J...Copy !req
1112. if I told you
to screw the print deadlineCopy !req
1113. what would you want to doCopy !req
1114. right now?Copy !req
1115. I'd want to seeCopy !req
1116. if there was a way
I could help him out.Copy !req
1117. Give him some dignity, right?Copy !req
1118. And give him a rest. The guy'sCopy !req
1119. going to collapse
out there.Copy !req
1120. Yes, sir.Copy !req
1121. Screw the print deadline. Leo?Copy !req
1122. Look...Copy !req
1123. We will talk about
the other thing later.Copy !req
1124. I'm just asking how
we're going to do this.Copy !req
1125. Excuse me.Copy !req
1126. The Chairman'll
gavel him offCopy !req
1127. if he stops
talking or sits.Copy !req
1128. Excuse me.Copy !req
1129. What are you doing?Copy !req
1130. I didn't know
if I'm supposed to...Copy !req
1131. We usually don't
raise our hands.Copy !req
1132. Though it's not the worst idea
in the world.Copy !req
1133. The Senator's allowed
to yield for a questionCopy !req
1134. without yielding the floor.Copy !req
1135. What do you mean?
He's allowed
to yieldCopy !req
1136. for a question
without yielding the floor.Copy !req
1137. I was in the House. I know
nothing about Senate rules.Copy !req
1138. Yes, sir, but Josh does,
and he likes to explain
things, and, well, I let him.Copy !req
1139. I'm pretty sure
it's true, sir.Copy !req
1140. What time is it?
Let's wake up a
parliamentarian.Copy !req
1141. Yeah, but the problem isCopy !req
1142. the only people who ask
questions are Senators.Copy !req
1143. We'll get one of them
to walk in there. Charlie!Copy !req
1144. The Senate wants to go
home. They want a vote.Copy !req
1145. Yes, sir?
I want to call
Senators.Copy !req
1146. We'll start
with our friends.Copy !req
1147. When we're done with those twoCopy !req
1148. we'll go on to the other 98.Copy !req
1149. Yes, sir.
C.J.:
Charlie.Copy !req
1150. Start with the grandfathers.
Yes, ma'am.Copy !req
1151. There's no damn holiday
for us, either.Copy !req
1152. We'll be in
the dining room.Copy !req
1153. C.J., no kidding,
make this happen.Copy !req
1154. Yes, sir.Copy !req
1155. ( quietly ):
Oh, and I brokeCopy !req
1156. your statue.Copy !req
1157. I don't think
he heard you.Copy !req
1158. No.Copy !req
1159. The water peaked at
3,690 feet last monthCopy !req
1160. because of an uncontrolled
release from Lake Powell.Copy !req
1161. You mean the uncontrolled
release of Lake Powell.Copy !req
1162. I suppose.Copy !req
1163. I am going home.Copy !req
1164. Good night, sir.
Good night.Copy !req
1165. Mr. Vice President.Copy !req
1166. Didn't I do it right?Copy !req
1167. No, sir, you did
it very well. I
appreciate it.Copy !req
1168. Yeah.Copy !req
1169. I'm sure you know
I was curiousCopy !req
1170. about why you'd volunteer
for something like that.Copy !req
1171. Yeah.Copy !req
1172. So I got ahold of
some private polling
you've had done.Copy !req
1173. Oh.Copy !req
1174. Yeah?Copy !req
1175. A significant
number of peopleCopy !req
1176. are concerned over
your close ties to big oil.Copy !req
1177. Well, not anymore.Copy !req
1178. Yeah, but what
I was wonderingCopy !req
1179. was why did you put
the poll in the field at all?Copy !req
1180. Mr. Vice President,
what do you know that I don't?Copy !req
1181. Toby, the total tonnage
of what I know that you don'tCopy !req
1182. could stun a team of oxen
in its tracks.Copy !req
1183. Good night.Copy !req
1184. C.J.:
And then came
the big moment, Dad.Copy !req
1185. Everyone was enlisted.Copy !req
1186. You called whoever
you had a relationship withCopy !req
1187. and if you didn't get anywhereCopy !req
1188. they got a call
from the President.Copy !req
1189. Do I have your word
on that, Sarah?Copy !req
1190. We'd been at it 20 minutesCopy !req
1191. and we were coming up
with nothing until...Copy !req
1192. Got it!Copy !req
1193. Senator Tom Grissom
of Washington State was headedCopy !req
1194. from his office to the Chamber.Copy !req
1195. C.J.:
and everybody
started floodingCopy !req
1196. into the Communications Bullpen
to see what would happen.Copy !req
1197. the problem beingCopy !req
1198. of course, that Stackhouse
would have to knowCopy !req
1199. as much about rules
of procedure as Donna hadCopy !req
1200. and not think we were
trying to screw him.Copy !req
1201. We stared at 14 different
television setsCopy !req
1202. while calculating in our heads
the time it would take GrissomCopy !req
1203. to walk from his office
to the floor.Copy !req
1204. C.J.:
And we were in frozen silenceCopy !req
1205. while we listened
to the rules of blackjack.Copy !req
1206. unless you
are counting cards.Copy !req
1207. C.J.:
And then it happened.Copy !req
1208. Point of order, Mr. Chairman.Copy !req
1209. Mr. Grissom?Copy !req
1210. Will the Senator
yield for a question?Copy !req
1211. Come on.Copy !req
1212. Mr. Stackhouse?Copy !req
1213. Come on.Copy !req
1214. Trust me just this once,
you grouchy old son of a bitch.Copy !req
1215. Mr. Chairman, I yieldCopy !req
1216. to the Senator from WashingtonCopy !req
1217. for a question.Copy !req
1218. My question is in 22 partsCopy !req
1219. and might take quite a while.Copy !req
1220. Perhaps you'd like to sit and
have some water while I ask it.Copy !req
1221. C.J.:
And that was it.Copy !req
1222. Grissom gave him a rest,
and an opportunityCopy !req
1223. to answer some real questions
about autismCopy !req
1224. and when Grissom was done,
McNamara took overCopy !req
1225. and after McNamara came
Gianelli, grandfathers all.Copy !req
1226. I'm going to have
to finish this up nowCopy !req
1227. and go into the press room
and explain what happened.Copy !req
1228. There'll be no vote tonight
and the Senate will go homeCopy !req
1229. for the week,
and since Stackhouse...Copy !req
1230. with our help,
blew the print deadline anywayCopy !req
1231. there's really no reason...Copy !req
1232. for Josh not to go backCopy !req
1233. to the Conference Chairman
and reopen the bill.Copy !req
1234. C.J.:
There are so many days hereCopy !req
1235. where you can't imagine that
anything good will ever happen.Copy !req
1236. You're buried under
a black fog of partisanshipCopy !req
1237. and self-promotion
and stupidity...Copy !req
1238. and a brand of politics
that's just plain mean.Copy !req
1239. C.J.:
Yes, Hoynes had us nervous with
all his admonishment of big oilCopy !req
1240. and yes, the President
was making us nervous, tooCopy !req
1241. but that's for tomorrowCopy !req
1242. 'cause tonight I've seen a man
with no legs stay standing, DadCopy !req
1243. and a guy with no voice
keep shoutingCopy !req
1244. and if politics brings out
the worst in peopleCopy !req
1245. then maybe people
bring out the bestCopy !req
1246. 'cause I'm looking
at the TV right nowCopy !req
1247. and damn if 28 U.S. SenatorsCopy !req
1248. haven't just walked
onto the floor to help.Copy !req
1249. I'll catch the first plane out
in the morningCopy !req
1250. and if you wouldn't mind
not turning 70 until tomorrowCopy !req
1251. that'd be great.Copy !req
1252. In the meantime,
I love you so much.Copy !req
1253. Your daughter, Claudia.Copy !req