1. Previously on The West Wing:Copy !req
2. Leo, hard as you might tryCopy !req
3. the Republican Party
isn't going anywhere.Copy !req
4. We don't know that
for sure, sir.Copy !req
5. They could all end up
moving to Vancouver.Copy !req
6. I don't think so.Copy !req
7. Me neither, but
being in power meansCopy !req
8. everybody else can take
a seat for four years.Copy !req
9. You have
post-traumatic stress disorder.Copy !req
10. Well, that doesn't really sound
like something they let you haveCopy !req
11. if you work for the President.Copy !req
12. This president was elected
with 48% of the vote, Toby.Copy !req
13. Yes, but he was elected.Copy !req
14. Without a mandate.Copy !req
15. The majority of people
in the country votedCopy !req
16. for somebody else.Copy !req
17. We don't needCopy !req
18. some kind of permission
for this?Copy !req
19. No.Copy !req
20. What about supervision?Copy !req
21. Shouldn't there be
some official supervision?Copy !req
22. We're making a fire
in a fireplace.Copy !req
23. What kind of supervision
do you want?Copy !req
24. FEMA, the American Red Cross...Copy !req
25. What kind of wood is this?Copy !req
26. Josh...
I don't know.Copy !req
27. It's freezing in here.Copy !req
28. I acknowledge
that it's cold.Copy !req
29. It's like Ice Station Zebra.Copy !req
30. It also might bother someone.Copy !req
31. It's half past midnight.Copy !req
32. See, here's the thing.Copy !req
33. Yeah?
This looks like
spruce to me...Copy !req
34. and spruce is soft wood.Copy !req
35. Soft wood burns out quickly.Copy !req
36. You know what we need
for a slow-burning fire?Copy !req
37. That's right.
A hard wood?Copy !req
38. That's interesting.Copy !req
39. Where did you get the wood?Copy !req
40. It was sitting in the... thing.Copy !req
41. I think that is meant
to be decorative.Copy !req
42. It's wood. We're not burning
Benjamin Harrison's log cabin.Copy !req
43. What?
You know what?Copy !req
44. Why?
We might be.Copy !req
45. It was made
out of spruce.Copy !req
46. Where's C.J.?Copy !req
47. She's over in
the Roosevelt Room.Copy !req
48. Yeah.
Is she doing
the seating chart?Copy !req
49. Jancowitz has a hearing aid
that seldom works.Copy !req
50. He needs to be
seated somewhere
near the center.Copy !req
51. Yeah.
Would you
tell her that?Copy !req
52. You're not using lighter fluid
or anything, are you?Copy !req
53. No, no flammable liquids of
any kind to start a fire, ever.Copy !req
54. What?
!
Found it.Copy !req
55. Kerosene.Copy !req
56. Josh.Copy !req
57. Go.Copy !req
58. C.J.:
Speaker...Copy !req
59. House Majority,
House Minority...Copy !req
60. Senate Majority,
Senate Minority...Copy !req
61. Whip, Whip, Deputy, Deputy...Copy !req
62. Right.
Yes.Copy !req
63. Then...
What?Copy !req
64. Yes.
The Committee Chairs.Copy !req
65. Ways & Means here.Copy !req
66. Finance goes here, House
Appropriations goes here.Copy !req
67. Senate Appropriations goes here,
House Budget.Copy !req
68. Excellent.
Senate Budget.Copy !req
69. Which brings us to...Copy !req
70. That's right.
White House Staff.Copy !req
71. So we've got
the Chief of Staff.Copy !req
72. Next to him
the Deputy
Chief of Staff.Copy !req
73. On the other side
of Leo will be the
Congressional LiaisonCopy !req
74. and then the
Political Liaison.Copy !req
75. Next to them will be the
Communications DirectorCopy !req
76. and the Deputy
Communications Director.Copy !req
77. What about Staff aides?Copy !req
78. The aides will stand
around the wall.Copy !req
79. We're set.
So we're done.Copy !req
80. Yes.Copy !req
81. C.J.Copy !req
82. Don't give me a thing.Copy !req
83. Josh says Jancowitz
has to sit closer
to the center.Copy !req
84. Why?
He doesn't hear well.Copy !req
85. He can't sit closer
to the center.Copy !req
86. His hearing aid
malfunctions.Copy !req
87. Who cares? It's a breakfastCopy !req
88. to trumpet a new spirit
of bipartisan cooperationCopy !req
89. and understanding
in the new year.Copy !req
90. No one's going to be listening
to each other anyway.Copy !req
91. I'm just a messenger,
but I think he's saying
we don't snub Jancowitz...Copy !req
92. Yeah.
'Cause of the thing.Copy !req
93. All right, we're going
to have to move somebody.Copy !req
94. Would you ask him
if it's better to disCopy !req
95. Yeah.
the House Whip
or the Senate Whip?Copy !req
96. You want to stand them
in a tripod, right?Copy !req
97. Yeah, standing three
sticks on endCopy !req
98. and slanting them
to a common center.Copy !req
99. Yeah, but...
Isn't that a tripod?Copy !req
100. You just thought
you'd say more words?Copy !req
101. Yeah.Copy !req
102. Josh.Copy !req
103. Hang on.Copy !req
104. You know what we need?Copy !req
105. Dried leaves.Copy !req
106. We need dried leaves.Copy !req
107. To move Jancowitz, we got
to move either the House
or the Senate Whip.Copy !req
108. 'Cause life is tough
in the big, cruel worldCopy !req
109. and if he doesn't like
it, he can kiss me.Copy !req
110. Yeah.
So the spirit
of bipartisanship begins?Copy !req
111. Could you possibly get us
some dried leaves?Copy !req
112. Yeah, I'll just run out
to the forest and be right back.Copy !req
113. You know what?Copy !req
114. You think
she's being sarcastic?Copy !req
115. Yeah, I don't think
she's getting the leaves.Copy !req
116. You know what
we could use?Copy !req
117. Newspaper.Copy !req
118. See, this is
what I'm talking about.Copy !req
119. It really is.
This is teamwork.Copy !req
120. House. Yes.
House?Copy !req
121. So, we'll move the House Whip
to the left of Sam.Copy !req
122. We'll move Jancowitz
across from LeoCopy !req
123. and we're set, right?Copy !req
124. Yes.Copy !req
125. C.J.:
Larry, Ed, we're set?Copy !req
126. Either one of you?Copy !req
127. Yeah.
Yes.Copy !req
128. Thank you.Copy !req
129. You see, you guys thoughtCopy !req
130. it was going to take
a long time.Copy !req
131. It only ended up
taking 71/////2 hours.Copy !req
132. Somebody working
on the heat?Copy !req
133. Seating arrangement's set.Copy !req
134. That took some time.Copy !req
135. It was hard.Copy !req
136. Yeah, you got to
find the magic marker.Copy !req
137. Toby, when people
are sitting with
the PresidentCopy !req
138. there's excruciating
protocol involved.Copy !req
139. What?
Uh-oh.Copy !req
140. Missed one.Copy !req
141. Who?Copy !req
142. Take a look.Copy !req
143. I'm looking...Copy !req
144. It'll happen.Copy !req
145. Okay, guys,
you know what we did?Copy !req
146. We forgot the President.Copy !req
147. There it is.Copy !req
148. Does anybody smell smoke?Copy !req
149. Oh, God...Copy !req
150. I think this might be
because the wood is wet.Copy !req
151. Well, the fireCopy !req
152. You'd think.
ought to dry it pretty
quick, shouldn't it?Copy !req
153. What did you do?Copy !req
154. It's going pretty good now.Copy !req
155. There's smoke
in the hallways.Copy !req
156. What the hell's
going on?Copy !req
157. The wood's drying out.Copy !req
158. Are you burning
a dining room table?Copy !req
159. Spruce is
a slow-drying wood.Copy !req
160. Hang on.Copy !req
161. Are those instructions?Copy !req
162. It says that this fireplaceCopy !req
163. was a favorite
of President Andrew JohnsonCopy !req
164. and he would sip whiskey
from a charcoal kegCopy !req
165. while reading
by its light.Copy !req
166. That doesn't help.Copy !req
167. The flue's been welded shut
since 1896.Copy !req
168. What are you doing?
Well, that's probably it then.Copy !req
169. Somebody started
a fire in this
fireplace, Charlie.Copy !req
170. If the smoke alarms go off,
they're going to make me
wake the President.Copy !req
171. The President's a
thousand yards over
and two flights up.Copy !req
172. It's Secret
Service procedure.Copy !req
173. Well, let's get
a fire extinguisherCopy !req
174. and put it out
before the smoke alar...Copy !req
175. What?Copy !req
176. Mr. President,
you know how you told meCopy !req
177. not to wake you up unless
the building was on fire?Copy !req
178. These are the rules.Copy !req
179. They're the guidelines.Copy !req
180. Yes.
The meeting will
last 90 minutesCopy !req
181. The guidelines.
and the rules...Copy !req
182. We can't talk about
the Patients' Bill
of Rights?Copy !req
183. We can talk about
the Patients'
Bill of Rights.Copy !req
184. We just can't talk about
dropping the provisionCopy !req
185. that would allow
for litigation.Copy !req
186. Why not?Copy !req
187. 'Cause that's not
what the breakfast is for.Copy !req
188. What's it for?Copy !req
189. To symbolize
the spirit of cooperationCopy !req
190. as the new sessions begins
and to eat pancakes.Copy !req
191. So with regard
to the Patient"
Bill of RightsCopy !req
192. we'll just be debating
the things we agree on.Copy !req
193. Yeah.Copy !req
194. And raising
the minimum wage?Copy !req
195. We won't be talking
about that at all.Copy !req
196. No, we shouldn't,
'cause there's a chanceCopy !req
197. it could lead to something.Copy !req
198. We can't talk
about the Patients'
Bill of Rights?Copy !req
199. We can talk about it.
We just can't talkCopy !req
200. about dropping the
no litigation clause.Copy !req
201. Leo, what's the point
of having rightsCopy !req
202. if you can't sue
for them in court?Copy !req
203. That's a
fine argument.Copy !req
204. But we won't
be making it.Copy !req
205. Not at
this breakfast.Copy !req
206. And the minimum wage?Copy !req
207. Not so much.Copy !req
208. I see we won't be
talking about the
993 tax cut.Copy !req
209. We won't be, but we've agreedCopy !req
210. to call it tax relief
instead of a tax cut.Copy !req
211. Yeah.
We're calling it
tax relief?Copy !req
212. No.
But we won't be talking
about it.Copy !req
213. Leo, the Patients' Bill
of Rights...Copy !req
214. Which we'll be referring toCopy !req
215. as the Comprehensive Access
and Responsibility Act.Copy !req
216. What's the Comprehensive Access
and Responsibility Act?Copy !req
217. It's the Patients'
Bill of RightsCopy !req
218. but the CARA was
introduced in 1999.Copy !req
219. It's fundamentally
the same thingCopy !req
220. and the Republicans
have agreedCopy !req
221. to discuss changing
the name back.Copy !req
222. In exchange for calling
tax breaks tax relief.Copy !req
223. I'm in a musical.
Or income
enhancement.Copy !req
224. Getting it renamed
for the old bill
is a hellCopy !req
225. of a concession.
Leo, I'm going to check in
with you for a second, okay?Copy !req
226. Sure.Copy !req
227. Right. Yes.
Because they
can't afford it?Copy !req
228. Probably don't careCopy !req
229. that we've agreed
to change the name of the bill.Copy !req
230. We've agreed
to discuss
changing the...Copy !req
231. Security briefing.
What's after that?Copy !req
232. Agriculture.
After that?Copy !req
233. Who was the idiot who set off
the smoke alarm last night?Copy !req
234. Well, it sounds a lot likeCopy !req
235. you're talking about Sam,
Mr. President.Copy !req
236. Were you
inconvenienced, sir?Copy !req
237. They had me on
the Truman balconyCopy !req
238. for six minutes
in my underwear.Copy !req
239. Was it cold?Copy !req
240. In January? No. Why do you ask?Copy !req
241. Mr. President,
I'd like to talkCopy !req
242. about those rules
in that memo you're reading.Copy !req
243. It's a breakfast, Toby.
It's a pancake breakfast.Copy !req
244. There's nothing
in that memo that's important.Copy !req
245. We're having
Vermont maple syrup?Copy !req
246. Mr. President,
if you read item fourCopy !req
247. you'll see that time
at this breakfast will be spentCopy !req
248. discussing calling the
Patients' Bill of RightsCopy !req
249. the Comprehensive Access
and Responsibility Act.Copy !req
250. I don't give a damnCopy !req
251. if they call it
the Monroe Doctrine.Copy !req
252. What the hell are we doing
serving Vermont maple syrup?Copy !req
253. On the minimum wageCopy !req
254. if we all turn our attention
to item fiveCopy !req
255. of the Rules
of Bipartisan Breakfast...Copy !req
256. They're guidelines.
You keep calling them rules.Copy !req
257. Margaret, what does it say
at the top of the memo?Copy !req
258. "Rules for
Bipartisan
Breakfast."Copy !req
259. I keep meaning to fire you.Copy !req
260. New Hampshire syrup
is what we serve
in this White House.Copy !req
261. Sir...Copy !req
262. It's a breakfast.
We eat, we pose
for pictures.Copy !req
263. You do a post-game
conference.Copy !req
264. Everybody gets the
hell out of hereCopy !req
265. Anything else?
and I don't have
to be Officer Krupke.Copy !req
266. An OMB efficiency expert
has said we can free up
much-needed office spaceCopy !req
267. by moving the press room
across the street.Copy !req
268. What else?Copy !req
269. Thank you, Mr. President.Copy !req
270. Thank you.Copy !req
271. Josh.Copy !req
272. Yeah.Copy !req
273. You feeling all right?Copy !req
274. Yeah.Copy !req
275. You sure?Copy !req
276. Yeah.Copy !req
277. No.
You don't mind
me asking?Copy !req
278. 'Cause I'm going to ask you
once a day, okay?Copy !req
279. Okay, but you just asked
me four times in the
last ten seconds.Copy !req
280. I want you to go to Ben
and Sally's for dinner tonight.Copy !req
281. Are you going?Copy !req
282. No.Copy !req
283. Was I invited?Copy !req
284. No.Copy !req
285. Are Ben and Sally asking for me?Copy !req
286. No, they'd rather
you didn't come, but
they'll do me a favorCopy !req
287. and I need you
to do me one, too.Copy !req
288. What's at Ben and Sally's?Copy !req
289. Karen Cahill.Copy !req
290. And what stupid-ass Irish thingCopy !req
291. did you say to Karen CahillCopy !req
292. that you now need me
to apologize forCopy !req
293. at Ben and Sally's
like a little girl?Copy !req
294. Let me tell youCopy !req
295. what was surprising
about that moment just then.Copy !req
296. I said that only 12 hours
after you were very coolCopy !req
297. about my almost accidentally
setting the building on fire.Copy !req
298. I made a joke about her shoes.Copy !req
299. I'm sorry?Copy !req
300. I made a remark about her shoes.Copy !req
301. You're the second
most powerful man
in the country.Copy !req
302. And she writes a column
for the New York TimesCopy !req
303. and who knows what kind
of special relationshipCopy !req
304. women have with their shoes?Copy !req
305. What could you possibly
have said...?Copy !req
306. It doesn't matter.Copy !req
307. It was perfectly benignCopy !req
308. to anyone who doesn't take
shoes that seriously.Copy !req
309. Just tell her I love her
and that I'm sorryCopy !req
310. and I'll take her shoe shopping.Copy !req
311. Why don't you tell her?Copy !req
312. If someone else tells herCopy !req
313. it seems like I was thoughtful
enough to mention it.Copy !req
314. If I tell her,
it just makes me seem feminine.Copy !req
315. You don't think the
shoe shopping's going
to take care of that?Copy !req
316. Let's call the insurance companyCopy !req
317. and see how much water damage
was done in the Mural Room.Copy !req
318. You don't need
to wave a stick, Leo.Copy !req
319. I am totally there for you.Copy !req
320. Thank you.Copy !req
321. Fine.
Can I get Sam to do it?Copy !req
322. Anything else?
No.Copy !req
323. This isn't aboutCopy !req
324. what they say in the meeting.Copy !req
325. It's about what they say
after the meeting.Copy !req
326. So let's decide
what they're going to say.Copy !req
327. It'll be simple enough.Copy !req
328. Like what?Copy !req
329. We appreciate
the President's
invitationCopy !req
330. and welcome him
to the cause of
bipartisanship.Copy !req
331. C.J...
And I'll end
the press conference.Copy !req
332. You're going to welcome him
to the cause of bipartisanship?Copy !req
333. What's the problem?Copy !req
334. I think C.J.'s objectingCopy !req
335. to the implication that
we got there first.Copy !req
336. Yes.Copy !req
337. How about, "We all agree
on a need for a renewed
spirit of bipartisanship"?Copy !req
338. Yes.
The meeting was positive?Copy !req
339. Yes.
Friendly, frank
and productive?Copy !req
340. And we're certain our goals
can be metCopy !req
341. under the
President's leadership.Copy !req
342. No way.Copy !req
343. What's the problem?Copy !req
344. I think what my aide
is objecting to is
the implicationCopy !req
345. it's the President's
leadership under which
our goals will be met.Copy !req
346. The meeting was positive,
friendly, frank and productive.Copy !req
347. With a spicy bouquet
that suggests a fine Merlot.Copy !req
348. The press will be
at the northwest entrance.Copy !req
349. Assuming we're done at 10:30Copy !req
350. the Majority Leader will speak
and take questionsCopy !req
351. the Minority Leader,
then CJ will answer questionsCopy !req
352. 20 minutes later
in the briefing room.Copy !req
353. If all goes well,
we should be back...Copy !req
354. I've got to stop you.
Why in the briefing room?Copy !req
355. That's where I brief.Copy !req
356. The Majority Leader's briefing
first and outside.Copy !req
357. You're doing it last,
in back of a podiumCopy !req
358. and in front of a blue curtainCopy !req
359. with a big picture
of the White House.Copy !req
360. And the Majority Leader
will be doing it in front
of the actual White House.Copy !req
361. No, he'll be doing it
on the Capitol steps.Copy !req
362. Traditionally, these are done
in front of the White House.Copy !req
363. TraditionallyCopy !req
364. the person in my job
has cared what's traditional.Copy !req
365. The President's not going
to want to endCopy !req
366. a bipartisan breakfastCopy !req
367. with the Republicans speaking
from one placeCopy !req
368. and the Democrats...Copy !req
369. And the Majority Leader's
not going to standCopy !req
370. at a cardboard podium
in your front yardCopy !req
371. while you stand in the
White House Press Briefing RoomCopy !req
372. and with good reason.Copy !req
373. Which is?Copy !req
374. I don't think
they're on equal footing.Copy !req
375. Yes.
My boss and your boss?Copy !req
376. I don't think they are, either.Copy !req
377. C.J...Copy !req
378. Ann, the Majority Leader's
going to brief outside.Copy !req
379. If the Majority Leader
wants to skip breakfastCopy !req
380. there'll be more pancakes
for the rest of usCopy !req
381. and my press room
can write about why.Copy !req
382. Well, you can't blame a girl
for trying.Copy !req
383. You need me?Copy !req
384. Can I borrowCopy !req
385. her for a moment?Copy !req
386. We'll wait.Copy !req
387. These rules are crap.Copy !req
388. The guidelines?Copy !req
389. We're working
with C.J. right now.Copy !req
390. I could care less who says what
in what order.Copy !req
391. I'm talking about
what we say when we sit down.Copy !req
392. You've got concerns?Copy !req
393. Yes, I do.
Name one.Copy !req
394. The President prefers maple
syrup from New Hampshire.Copy !req
395. I'm not kidding.Copy !req
396. Then we better meet on this.Copy !req
397. Breakfast tomorrow?Copy !req
398. What should I wear?Copy !req
399. I don't give a damn.Copy !req
400. I've heard different.Copy !req
401. 9:45—Copy !req
402. so we got that straight.
Where were we?Copy !req
403. You were giving
me and my staff
an ultimatum.Copy !req
404. Sam?Copy !req
405. Did you know
there's a swimming poolCopy !req
406. underneath
the press briefing room?Copy !req
407. I didn't.Copy !req
408. There's a swimming pool
underneath thereCopy !req
409. and I'll tell you what else.Copy !req
410. According to
the OMB efficiency auditorCopy !req
411. there are more people working
in the west wingCopy !req
412. of the White House
than at any point in history.Copy !req
413. You want to free up
office space by kicking
out the press corps.Copy !req
414. Yeah.
And putting in
a swimming pool?Copy !req
415. I realize that there are
some flaws in my logic.
Yeah.Copy !req
416. Leo needs a favor.
What?Copy !req
417. He needs you to go to dinner
at Ben and Sally'sCopy !req
418. and apologize to Karen Cahill
for making fun of her shoes.Copy !req
419. I didn't make
fun of her shoes.
He did.Copy !req
420. I don't have any problem
with her shoes.
Leo did.Copy !req
421. What was his problem
with her shoes?Copy !req
422. Doesn't matter.
Just do what you usually do.Copy !req
423. Here's the thing.
What?Copy !req
424. I don't do well
with Karen.
Why?Copy !req
425. I get nervous.
What happens?Copy !req
426. I become unimpressive.Copy !req
427. In what way?Copy !req
428. In many ways.Copy !req
429. You don't fall
down, do you?
When?Copy !req
430. With Karen.
Once.Copy !req
431. You'll be fine.
You think?Copy !req
432. You'll be impressive.
I never have been beforeCopy !req
433. but that's no reason
to think I'm not
going to do it.Copy !req
434. Right.
You know why?Copy !req
435. It doesn't really matter.Copy !req
436. Perseverance—
you get right
back on the horse.Copy !req
437. I am going to sit there,
and she's going
to go home sayingCopy !req
438. "That Sam Seaborn is
impressive. I'm going to
say nice things about him."Copy !req
439. Reach for the stars, Sam.Copy !req
440. I will.
Good.Copy !req
441. Yeah.Copy !req
442. I'm going to have breakfast
with Ann Stark tomorrow.Copy !req
443. Leave it alone.Copy !req
444. I think we should be
able to discuss...Copy !req
445. Toby. It's
a brand-new year.Copy !req
446. So let's not faff around.Copy !req
447. It's breakfast.Copy !req
448. I know it's
breakfast.Copy !req
449. We're not going to
come up with solutionsCopy !req
450. in 90 minutesCopy !req
451. but we have the
principals in a
room with no cameras.Copy !req
452. The leaders of the land.Copy !req
453. And not to talk aboutCopy !req
454. how we're going
to approach the
minimum wageCopy !req
455. the Patients'
Bill of RightsCopy !req
456. tax relief and education
in the legislative session
that's about to beginCopy !req
457. is a criminally negligent
and cowardly refusalCopy !req
458. to do what we were...
all sent here to do.Copy !req
459. This is what my ex-wife and I
did for years.Copy !req
460. We had these rules.Copy !req
461. We could talk about anythingCopy !req
462. but why we couldn't live
with each other.Copy !req
463. I could have been
two years younger right now.Copy !req
464. There was a freshman DemocratCopy !req
465. who came to Congress
50 years ago.Copy !req
466. He turned to a senior Democrat
and saidCopy !req
467. "Where are the Republicans?Copy !req
468. I want to meet the enemy."Copy !req
469. The senior Democrat saidCopy !req
470. "The Republicans
aren't the enemy.Copy !req
471. "They're the opposition.Copy !req
472. The Senate's the enemy."Copy !req
473. Those days are over.Copy !req
474. Toby, in this climate...Copy !req
475. This climate
is exactly when...Copy !req
476. Toby...
Real debateCopy !req
477. is what bipartisanship
should look like.Copy !req
478. This woman's had this job
two weeks.Copy !req
479. I don't like dealing with people
who are trying to impress me.Copy !req
480. I know her a little.Copy !req
481. Have breakfast with her.Copy !req
482. Thank you.Copy !req
483. Toby?Copy !req
484. Yeah.Copy !req
485. Jenny and I
wouldn't talk about it, either.Copy !req
486. You know why?Copy !req
487. Why?Copy !req
488. Because we loved each other...Copy !req
489. and it was awful...Copy !req
490. and we knew
it was never going to change.Copy !req
491. Ever.Copy !req
492. I want them to talk
about the minimum wageCopy !req
493. and I want them to talk about
the Patients' Bill of Rights.Copy !req
494. I believe you
might be talkingCopy !req
495. about the
Comprehensive AccessCopy !req
496. and Responsibility
Act there, Toby.Copy !req
497. Uh, yeah.Copy !req
498. I brought you a present.Copy !req
499. What is it?Copy !req
500. Guess.Copy !req
501. Really?
Sure.Copy !req
502. Why?Copy !req
503. I would think it'd be fun.Copy !req
504. You don't think it'd be
a colossal waste of time?Copy !req
505. You've lost your
sense of humor.Copy !req
506. It's a bottle
of New Hampshire maple syrup.Copy !req
507. It's a can of New
Hampshire maple syrupCopy !req
508. and you just ruined
what I think could've
been a nice moment.Copy !req
509. Ann...
You know,
tax breaksCopy !req
510. are tax relief nowCopy !req
511. and we're changing South
Carolina to Italy.Copy !req
512. The minimum wage.Copy !req
513. You cannot muster up the
behavior to say thank you?Copy !req
514. For the syrup?
Yeah.Copy !req
515. Thank you.Copy !req
516. You're welcome.Copy !req
517. And congratulations.Copy !req
518. Thank you.Copy !req
519. You are now the Chief of StaffCopy !req
520. to the most powerful Republican
in the country.Copy !req
521. Obviously a great deal
of confidenceCopy !req
522. has been placed in you...Copy !req
523. Where's my present?Copy !req
524. For being promoted?Copy !req
525. Yeah.Copy !req
526. Uh, I don't have one.Copy !req
527. Give me my syrup back.Copy !req
528. Are you ready to order?Copy !req
529. He's going
to need syrup.Copy !req
530. I have syrup hereCopy !req
531. but he doesn't
have any.Copy !req
532. Scrambled eggs, wheat toast,
and coffee, please.Copy !req
533. Carol, did the
President sayCopy !req
534. that the stats were
even more staggeringCopy !req
535. right here in
Washington, D.C.?Copy !req
536. Yeah.Copy !req
537. Would you remind me
to clarify that?Copy !req
538. Why?Copy !req
539. He was in Louisville, Kentucky,
when he said it.Copy !req
540. Hey.Copy !req
541. Hey.Copy !req
542. You got my note?Copy !req
543. About moving the press room
to the OEOB? I did.Copy !req
544. And?
Don't let anyone ever know
that you wrote itCopy !req
545. and don't ever mention
it again under any
circumstances.Copy !req
546. Moving the press room?
See what you did?Copy !req
547. C.J...
You mentioned it.Copy !req
548. Look, if...
You did it again.Copy !req
549. No, I didn't.
You were about to.Copy !req
550. Just the OEOB,
just across the street.Copy !req
551. We're not getting a
swimming pool, Sam.Copy !req
552. I know we're not getting
a swimming poolCopy !req
553. but we can get
much-needed office spaceCopy !req
554. and we can put
a little physical distanceCopy !req
555. between the press
and the PresidentCopy !req
556. and we can put them
just across the streetCopy !req
557. in a state-of-the-art
facility.Copy !req
558. By state-of-the-art,
you mean...?Copy !req
559. A room with electricity.Copy !req
560. The press doesn't want physical
distance from the PresidentCopy !req
561. and the American people
would prefer the PresidentCopy !req
562. didn't have physical distance
from the press.Copy !req
563. C.J...Copy !req
564. We can't exile
the press.Copy !req
565. But the room
I'm talking aboutCopy !req
566. is 100 yards from
where we're standing.Copy !req
567. It sends a signalCopy !req
568. we're trying to hide things
from them.Copy !req
569. We are trying to hide things
from themCopy !req
570. but we won't be any better at it
if they're across the street.Copy !req
571. No.Copy !req
572. I'll get more
information for you.Copy !req
573. I don't need more information.Copy !req
574. How'd it go?
Excellent. Josh.Copy !req
575. What do you need?
Hang on a second.Copy !req
576. Did the monthly DNC
go out yet?Copy !req
577. It's going
out now.Copy !req
578. Is there time
to tack on a question?Copy !req
579. Yeah. Donna, get me
the polling centerCopy !req
580. at Global Strategies Group.Copy !req
581. Yeah.Copy !req
582. What's the question?Copy !req
583. C.J. thinks if we move the press
out of the west wingCopy !req
584. the American people
will object.Copy !req
585. She's crazy.Copy !req
586. So I want
to show her numbers.Copy !req
587. Mike at
Global Strategies.Copy !req
588. I want to tack on
a question, okay?Copy !req
589. "Would you object...?"
"Would you have...?"Copy !req
590. "Yes or no— would you
have an objection if...?"Copy !req
591. What should the question be?Copy !req
592. "If the White House
moved the press corpsCopy !req
593. to Trenton, New Jersey,
would you give a flying...?"Copy !req
594. "Would you object to the White
House moving the press roomCopy !req
595. out of the west wing and into
a facility across the street?"Copy !req
596. Read it back.Copy !req
597. How'd it go?Copy !req
598. It went great.Copy !req
599. Thank you.Copy !req
600. I had to talk to Karen Cahill
last night.Copy !req
601. Did you fall down at all?Copy !req
602. I did not.Copy !req
603. In fact, we were talking
about the stabilityCopy !req
604. of former Soviet republics and
their fear of Islamic extremismCopy !req
605. and I have to say that I madeCopy !req
606. some very
scholarly pointsCopy !req
607. regarding the remaining
nuclear weaponsCopy !req
608. in Kyrgyzstan, and I...Copy !req
609. Kazakhstan.Copy !req
610. Hmm?Copy !req
611. The nuclear weapons
are in Kazakhstan.Copy !req
612. I said Kyrgyzstan?Copy !req
613. Yeah.Copy !req
614. Yeah, well, Kyrgyzstan
has no nuclear weapons.Copy !req
615. No.Copy !req
616. Kazakhstan's a countryCopy !req
617. four times the
size of TexasCopy !req
618. and has a sizable
number of former
Russian missile silos.Copy !req
619. Yeah.Copy !req
620. Kyrgyzstan's on the side
of a hill near ChinaCopy !req
621. and has mostly
nomads and sheep.Copy !req
622. I'm sure you got it right
last night.Copy !req
623. Yes.Copy !req
624. I'm sure.Copy !req
625. Okay.Copy !req
626. It's a photo-op, Toby.Copy !req
627. Let them talk about the Redskins
and their kids.Copy !req
628. And why not talk
about the minimum wage?Copy !req
629. Because you'll say you
want it raised two dollarsCopy !req
630. in 50-cent increments
over two yearsCopy !req
631. and we'll say three years.Copy !req
632. Ann, do you know
what a full-time workerCopy !req
633. employed at $5.15 an hourCopy !req
634. makes in a year?Copy !req
635. $10,712.Copy !req
636. Which is $2,600
below the poverty line.Copy !req
637. Why have a minimum wage?Copy !req
638. Now you're talking.Copy !req
639. Ann, I...Copy !req
640. You really think
raising the minimum wageCopy !req
641. is going to put a dent
in the poverty rate?Copy !req
642. I'm saying it could at least
keep up with inflation.Copy !req
643. In the last 30 yearsCopy !req
644. the purchasing power
of the minimum wage
has gone down 30%Copy !req
645. while you know
how much the stock
market has gone up?Copy !req
646. 115%.Copy !req
647. Toby, small businesses
will fold or produce lessCopy !req
648. because they can't afford to pay
a federally mandated wage.Copy !req
649. The unemployed will in turn
face higher pricesCopy !req
650. while receiving no wage.Copy !req
651. Fine, so let's talk
about it at breakfast.Copy !req
652. No.
Why?Copy !req
653. 'Cause 20 senators will call meCopy !req
654. and say,
"What the hell are you doingCopy !req
655. starting the ball rolling
without us?"Copy !req
656. No, they will call and sayCopy !req
657. "What the hell are you doing
rolling the ball at all?"Copy !req
658. You're going to sandbag
the thing in committee.Copy !req
659. You've shown us your whole hand.Copy !req
660. You're playing a gameCopy !req
661. and not that well.Copy !req
662. I just got here.Copy !req
663. Your predecessor
didn't play it well.Copy !req
664. Maybe that's why
they gave me her job.Copy !req
665. Ann, we're not going to get
screwed around on the wage hike.Copy !req
666. No?Copy !req
667. We have the votes,
and you know it.Copy !req
668. Well, having the votes
doesn't matter that muchCopy !req
669. if the leader decides
there isn't going to be a vote.Copy !req
670. There is going to be a vote,
straight up or downCopy !req
671. and if there isn't,
we'll offer the wage hikeCopy !req
672. as an amendment
on everything that moves.Copy !req
673. Say that again?Copy !req
674. You heard me the first time.Copy !req
675. Do you not remember
that I am the same personCopy !req
676. who bought you a can of syrup?Copy !req
677. Ann...Copy !req
678. TobyCopy !req
679. what have I doneCopy !req
680. to make you think
I'm scared of you?Copy !req
681. The Patients'
Bill of Rights.Copy !req
682. We can talk about it?Copy !req
683. We can spend 15
minutes on dropping
the litigation shield.Copy !req
684. In exchange for what?Copy !req
685. Some flowers wouldn't
be out of line.Copy !req
686. In exchange for what?Copy !req
687. The spirit of
bipartisanship.Copy !req
688. In exchange for what?Copy !req
689. I want the press conference
at the Hill.Copy !req
690. Our guys are tired of lookingCopy !req
691. like the President's
stupid cousin.Copy !req
692. That's all?Copy !req
693. Yeah.Copy !req
694. You want the press conference
on the Hill?Copy !req
695. Yeah.Copy !req
696. Done.Copy !req
697. C.J. Cregg says no.Copy !req
698. C.J. works for me.Copy !req
699. Thank you for breakfast.Copy !req
700. You're welcome.Copy !req
701. Charlie!Copy !req
702. Yes, sir.Copy !req
703. Who's the next meeting?Copy !req
704. Kim Woo of
Singapore.Copy !req
705. You want the
cheat sheet?Copy !req
706. I don't need a cheat sheet.Copy !req
707. Kim Woo.Copy !req
708. He won a bronze medal
for fencingCopy !req
709. he's a Buddhist,
and he enjoys European history.Copy !req
710. You see, Charles,
even though it's a handshakeCopy !req
711. I'm able to make him
feel like a friendCopy !req
712. and that's a little thing
they call people skills.Copy !req
713. Kim Woo's a woman, sir.Copy !req
714. The man's an Olympic athlete,
Charlie.Copy !req
715. I wouldn't say that to his face.Copy !req
716. Sir.
What else?Copy !req
717. Sam wanted me to show you
some remarks he jotted downCopy !req
718. for your toastCopy !req
719. at the breakfast
tomorrow.Copy !req
720. "Ladies and gentlemen..."Copy !req
721. That's funny.Copy !req
722. Yeah, that's funny.Copy !req
723. She's a woman?Copy !req
724. Yes, sir.Copy !req
725. Did you mark
that down?
Yes, sir.Copy !req
726. "We spend so much time
demonizing the other sideCopy !req
727. "treating our opponents as if
they were threatening strangersCopy !req
728. "with whom
we share nothing in commonCopy !req
729. that we've lost sight, perhaps,
of the greater truths."Copy !req
730. Did you know it's bad luck
to toast with water?Copy !req
731. I didn't.Copy !req
732. Yeah, you don't want
to make a toast with water.Copy !req
733. Should we go, sir?Copy !req
734. It's from Greek mythology,
I'm almost sure.Copy !req
735. You lose your spirit.Copy !req
736. To what?Copy !req
737. Hmm?Copy !req
738. To what do you
lose your spirit?Copy !req
739. That's a good question, Charlie,
and I could tell youCopy !req
740. but I think it's better
if you look it up on your own.Copy !req
741. I'll hit the libraryCopy !req
742. as soon as I get off work
tonight at 1:00 a.m.Copy !req
743. "... that we've lost sight,
perhaps, of the greater truths.Copy !req
744. There is a lot more that unites
Americans than divides them."Copy !req
745. That's good.Copy !req
746. "There's a lot more that unites
Americans than divides them."Copy !req
747. Remind me to tell
Sam that's good.Copy !req
748. Yes, sir.Copy !req
749. And remind me not
to toast with water.Copy !req
750. Yes, sir.Copy !req
751. Ah, let's go.Copy !req
752. I said the wrong one.
Maybe not.Copy !req
753. I'm fairly certain.
You had a 50-50 chance.Copy !req
754. It was Karen Cahill.Copy !req
755. If there was a 99
in 100 chance of
saying the right oneCopy !req
756. I said the wrong one.Copy !req
757. Why do you guys get
worked into a latherCopy !req
758. over Karen Cahill?Copy !req
759. She's a very influential woman.Copy !req
760. You're a very
influential man.Copy !req
761. She's a columnist.
She gets the last word.Copy !req
762. You talk to lots
of columnists.Copy !req
763. She has some kind
of special powers.Copy !req
764. You think?
Yeah.Copy !req
765. Maybe you didn't
get it wrong.
I got it wrong.Copy !req
766. Maybe there really
are remaining nuclear
weapons in Kyrgyzstan.Copy !req
767. There are barely pots and pans
in Kyrgyzstan.Copy !req
768. You think New York Times is
going to make fun of you?Copy !req
769. I do.
You've got to be used
to that by now, right?Copy !req
770. Yeah. Here's what
we're going to do.Copy !req
771. We're going to
do something?Copy !req
772. You've met her.
We've been
introduced.Copy !req
773. You said you felt the two
of you made a connection.
That's true.Copy !req
774. Here's what you're
going to do.Copy !req
775. I connect
with people.
Yes.Copy !req
776. I'm a people person.
That's great.Copy !req
777. You're going to
the South Street
exhibit tonight?Copy !req
778. How did you know?
You told me.
She's going, too.Copy !req
779. How do you know?
She told me.Copy !req
780. So there's quite a bit
of reconnaissance work
that went into this.Copy !req
781. Yes. You're going to go
up to her, "Hi, I'm Donna Moss.Copy !req
782. "I don't know
if you remember me.Copy !req
783. I'm Josh Lyman's assistant."Copy !req
784. You just had to come up to herCopy !req
785. 'cause you knew she'd get
a kick out of this.Copy !req
786. "Sam Seaborn
is being so cute.Copy !req
787. "He was talking to youCopy !req
788. "and he thinks
he may have said 'Kyrgyzstan'Copy !req
789. when he obviously meant
'Kazakhstan.'"Copy !req
790. "Sam Seaborn's
being so cute"?Copy !req
791. It'd kill you?
No.Copy !req
792. Thank you.Copy !req
793. Yeah?Copy !req
794. Yeah.Copy !req
795. Listen, I just had breakfast
with Ann Stark.Copy !req
796. Minimum wage?Copy !req
797. No.Copy !req
798. It's for the best.
Why?Copy !req
799. 'Cause there'll be a fight.Copy !req
800. Yes.
Toby...Copy !req
801. There should be a fight.Copy !req
802. We disagree on something
important and immediate.Copy !req
803. Which means there should be
a compromise.Copy !req
804. Which isn't going
to happen by posing
for a picture.Copy !req
805. It isn't going to happen
eating pancakes, either, TobyCopy !req
806. so let them tell dirty jokesCopy !req
807. for 90 minutes, shake hands,
and start the year.Copy !req
808. Not when it's
the taxpayers' pancakes.Copy !req
809. The taxpayers will be happy
to know that the DemocratsCopy !req
810. are trying to tighten
their belts where they can.Copy !req
811. They're willing to put
a provisionCopy !req
812. of the Patients' Bill
up for discussion.Copy !req
813. Well, that's a little something
you can all disagree on.Copy !req
814. 15 minutes.Copy !req
815. You can do a lot of shouting
in 15 minutes.Copy !req
816. In exchange, she wants the
press conference on the Hill.Copy !req
817. Now, she wants
the whole thing on the Hill?Copy !req
818. Yeah, listen...Copy !req
819. I said no yesterday
to the split conference.Copy !req
820. What makes her thinkCopy !req
821. I'm going to put
the whole thing on the...?Copy !req
822. 'Cause I'm
asking you to.Copy !req
823. What?Copy !req
824. That's what they get
in exchange for...Copy !req
825. You kidding me?Copy !req
826. Look...
Toby,
are you kidding me?Copy !req
827. Who cares where the...?Copy !req
828. First of all...Copy !req
829. I don't even know
where to start!Copy !req
830. C.J., who...?
But first of all, if they say
anything that needs a responseCopy !req
831. I need 20 minutes with staff.Copy !req
832. I can't stand around thereCopy !req
833. and huddle in front
of the White HouseCopy !req
834. and Congressional Press Corps.Copy !req
835. There's not going
to be a surprise.Copy !req
836. You've already decided
what you're going to sayCopy !req
837. which is not much
of anything at all.Copy !req
838. We don't speak for the President
on the steps of the Capitol.Copy !req
839. We don't need to be offered
their microphone.Copy !req
840. It makes us look like
less than what we are.Copy !req
841. In fact, it makes us
look small.Copy !req
842. We're calling tax
breaks "tax reliefs"Copy !req
843. refusing to discuss
raising the salaryCopy !req
844. of those living in poverty,
arguing the seating arrangementCopy !req
845. and you think that that's what's
going to make us look small?Copy !req
846. Toby...
We're talking
about the no-litigation clauseCopy !req
847. for 15 minutes.Copy !req
848. I don't care
if the damn press conferenceCopy !req
849. is outside
the Rotary Club!Copy !req
850. It shouldn't be me, then.Copy !req
851. It should be Henry.Copy !req
852. Fine.Copy !req
853. It should be a deputy.Copy !req
854. I'll tell Ann it's
not going to be you.Copy !req
855. I think
this is a bad idea.Copy !req
856. I think
the first visual we getCopy !req
857. is that Congress
is the seat of powerCopy !req
858. and the President is irrelevant.Copy !req
859. Not only thatCopy !req
860. but you just took my legs out
from under me with Ann.Copy !req
861. Are you ordering me
to move it to the Hill?Copy !req
862. I don't like doing that.Copy !req
863. You're going to have to.Copy !req
864. Do it.Copy !req
865. C.J.:
It's about to start.Copy !req
866. C.J.
Hey, Steve, you should be
up on the Hill.Copy !req
867. I'm going to
watch it on TV.Copy !req
868. I wanted to ask youCopy !req
869. are you guys
thinking about
moving the press roomCopy !req
870. across the street?Copy !req
871. No.Copy !req
872. I heard you were
discussing it.
From who?Copy !req
873. Chris.
It's starting.Copy !req
874. She seemed pretty sure
you were discussing it.Copy !req
875. Why?
She got called
by a pollsterCopy !req
876. who asked her how she felt...Copy !req
877. She got called
by a pollster?
Yeah.Copy !req
878. She herself got called?Copy !req
879. It's starting.
Anyway, uh...Copy !req
880. Let me get into it.Copy !req
881. Thanks.Copy !req
882. Good morning.Copy !req
883. We're joined today
with, uh, Congressman DadeCopy !req
884. Congressman ShallickCopy !req
885. Senator Hammond
and Senator Ford.Copy !req
886. Unfortunately, the Majority
Leader has a sore throatCopy !req
887. and is unable to join us here.Copy !req
888. He's gone back to his office.Copy !req
889. We've just concluded a very
frank and productive meeting...Copy !req
890. When did he get a sore throat?Copy !req
891. I-I don't...Copy !req
892. She took the Majority Leader
off the board.Copy !req
893. what we all feel is
an important momentCopy !req
894. of bipartisanship as we face
the coming legislative session.Copy !req
895. We thought we'd answer questions
for a few moments this morning.Copy !req
896. Yes?Copy !req
897. Was the Patients' Bill of Rights
discussed?Copy !req
898. The Comprehensive Access
and Responsibility Act...Copy !req
899. Yes, it was discussedCopy !req
900. though I hesitate
to comment on...Copy !req
901. She took him off the board.Copy !req
902. it was agreed that...Copy !req
903. Was it a balance thing?Copy !req
904. No. She didn't want balance,
she wanted power.Copy !req
905. Why'd she take her boss
off the board?Copy !req
906. We discussed
the litigation clauseCopy !req
907. but again, I don't want
to get into the specifics of...Copy !req
908. We're about to get hit.Copy !req
909. What about
the minimum wage hike?Copy !req
910. The wage hike
was not discussed.Copy !req
911. Well, are you considering
a two-dollar increaseCopy !req
912. over two years?Copy !req
913. Well, we want the same thing,
but over three years.Copy !req
914. Certainly,
the Leader's position...Copy !req
915. Call on Simon.Copy !req
916. but we didn't discuss it.
Craig?Copy !req
917. Call on Simon.Copy !req
918. Is it fair to say
it's the Majority LeaderCopy !req
919. who's holding this up
and not the majority?Copy !req
920. Well, I don't think it's fair
to say either.Copy !req
921. Uh, yeah?
In the back. Simon.Copy !req
922. Congressman, I'm quoting
a senior White House aideCopy !req
923. who says they have the votes.Copy !req
924. The aide said that
unless they getCopy !req
925. a straight up or down vote
from the Leader—Copy !req
926. and this is the quote—
"We're going to attach itCopy !req
927. as an amendment to
everything that moves."Copy !req
928. Could you say that again
to me, please?Copy !req
929. This senior
aide said...Copy !req
930. Yeah. Listen, I don't want
to comment on this.Copy !req
931. I think I'd like to get back
to the breakfast meetingCopy !req
932. and then for...Copy !req
933. But, uh... I'm sorry.Copy !req
934. My friend from Michigan is far
too polite to comment on this.Copy !req
935. I am not burdened with
any such sense of etiquette.Copy !req
936. This is disgracefulCopy !req
937. and I think
the record should showCopy !req
938. that a spitball contestCopy !req
939. was begun behind our backs,
through the pressCopy !req
940. and before the 107th Congress
was even gaveled into session.Copy !req
941. You want some quotes?Copy !req
942. Open your notepads.Copy !req
943. It's Toby.Copy !req
944. It is sadly not atypicalCopy !req
945. of this White House
to make a public show...Copy !req
946. I'm the senior aide.Copy !req
947. No kidding. Get me Henry.Copy !req
948. We came here in an honest effort
to find common ground...Copy !req
949. Henry.Copy !req
950. so we could make...Copy !req
951. I've got Henry.
What do you want?Copy !req
952. on the myriad of challenges
that are facing usCopy !req
953. in the legislative session.Copy !req
954. If the White House insists
on saying one thing to our faceCopy !req
955. and another to us
through the mediaCopy !req
956. if the White House insists
on ambushing usCopy !req
957. with ultimatums in the press...Copy !req
958. What do you want me
to do, Toby?Copy !req
959. please deliver this message
to the White House:Copy !req
960. Don't let him take the podium.Copy !req
961. minimum wage will be...Copy !req
962. You'll take questions in
the briefing room in 20 minutes.Copy !req
963. there will be
no up or down vote in...Copy !req
964. Henry, get home.Copy !req
965. Thank you.Copy !req
966. Congressman, one last question!Copy !req
967. Hey, what the hell happened?Copy !req
968. That was me.Copy !req
969. I gave Ann Stark the quote,
and she fed it to a reporter.Copy !req
970. Why'd you give her
the quote?Copy !req
971. It wasn't a
quote when I
gave it to her.Copy !req
972. What the hell was it?Copy !req
973. I was letting her know
that we had the votes...Copy !req
974. She knows
we have the votes.
I wasn't...Copy !req
975. She was just promoted
to Chief of StaffCopy !req
976. for the Senate Majority Leader.Copy !req
977. You don't think she knows
we have the votes?Copy !req
978. I misunderstood my relationship
with Ann Stark.Copy !req
979. Yes, you did.Copy !req
980. And now it looks like
we went to the pressCopy !req
981. and went for his knees.Copy !req
982. Excuse me, but Toby's not the
one who gave it to the press.Copy !req
983. You think the Majority Leader's
going to believe that?Copy !req
984. No.Copy !req
985. It was a breakfast!Copy !req
986. It was
a damn photo opportunity.Copy !req
987. The year is one week oldCopy !req
988. the legislative session
hasn't begunCopy !req
989. and we can't put a forkful
of waffles in our mouthCopy !req
990. without coughing up the ball.Copy !req
991. You got beat.Copy !req
992. Yes.Copy !req
993. I have press
in ten minutes.Copy !req
994. Figure it out.Copy !req
995. Tell me what you're going to do.Copy !req
996. We can take
the high roadCopy !req
997. and say we don't want
it to disintegrate
into a war of words.Copy !req
998. We don't want to disrupt
the fragile peace.Copy !req
999. The fragile peace
has been disrupted.Copy !req
1000. We've been accused
of ambushing the Majority LeaderCopy !req
1001. in the press.Copy !req
1002. Also, Labor's going
to want to knowCopy !req
1003. we stand by
the minimum wage.Copy !req
1004. Why don't we pass it off
to Labor?Copy !req
1005. Have the Labor Secretary
make a statement:Copy !req
1006. "We support the
two dollar minimum wage."Copy !req
1007. Yeah. Let's emphasize
how close we are on this.Copy !req
1008. "We support the two dollar
minimum wage hike spread
over two years.Copy !req
1009. "The Republicans want it
over three years.Copy !req
1010. We're close
to an agreement."Copy !req
1011. Sounds like we're close
to agreeing on 30 monthsCopy !req
1012. which we're not,
and no one's going to wantCopy !req
1013. to cover a statement
from the Labor SecretaryCopy !req
1014. which is good,
'cause if they didCopy !req
1015. it'd look like
we're ducking.Copy !req
1016. No, I don't think...
She's right.Copy !req
1017. We can't be passiveCopy !req
1018. and the high road doesn't go
where we need it to.Copy !req
1019. Be cool, be funny,
smack them down hard.Copy !req
1020. The Majority LeaderCopy !req
1021. is tragically out of touch
with the needs of real people.Copy !req
1022. And why wasn't he
at the podium?
A sore throat?Copy !req
1023. We know how tough
that can be.Copy !req
1024. Thank goodness he had
health insurance.
There it is.Copy !req
1025. That's the sound bite.Copy !req
1026. And that's the new story.Copy !req
1027. Toby?Copy !req
1028. Do it.Copy !req
1029. Carol, I need voting
stats on health care.Copy !req
1030. Five minutes.Copy !req
1031. How's this for a phrase?Copy !req
1032. "You can lay down
in front of the trainCopy !req
1033. or you can get on board."Copy !req
1034. That's a really
bad phrase.Copy !req
1035. Is it better if it'sCopy !req
1036. "You can get
on board the trainCopy !req
1037. or you can lay down
in front of it"?Copy !req
1038. No. It's really
bad either way.Copy !req
1039. Josh, this was delivered
by messenger.Copy !req
1040. What is it?Copy !req
1041. It's... wait, wait...Copy !req
1042. No. Damn, my X-ray vision
is failing me today.Copy !req
1043. Give me that.Copy !req
1044. How did it go?
Last night?Copy !req
1045. Did you talk to her?Copy !req
1046. Yes, I did,
and I explainedCopy !req
1047. that you might have said
"Kyrgyzstan"Copy !req
1048. when of course
you meant "Kazakhstan."Copy !req
1049. Did you say how
it was cute the way
I worried about it?Copy !req
1050. I did.
Did it turn out
I got it wrong?Copy !req
1051. She said she wasn't
really listeningCopy !req
1052. while you were talking.
Okay...Copy !req
1053. I, on the handCopy !req
1054. had a most stimulating
conversation with her.Copy !req
1055. It was pithy, it was erudite,
and most of allCopy !req
1056. it required no
next-day-follow-up explanation.Copy !req
1057. Donna?Copy !req
1058. What was
in the envelope?
Your underwear.Copy !req
1059. What?Copy !req
1060. I'm holding
your underwearCopy !req
1061. in my hand
right now.Copy !req
1062. And the way I know
it's your underwearCopy !req
1063. is that your name
is sewn in the backCopy !req
1064. which obviouslyCopy !req
1065. we'll spend
some timeCopy !req
1066. talking about
at a later date.Copy !req
1067. How did you get
my underwear?Copy !req
1068. Donna, did you
by any chanceCopy !req
1069. wear the same pair of pants
two days in a row this week?Copy !req
1070. No.Copy !req
1071. Donna?Copy !req
1072. Yes.Copy !req
1073. Okay, when you
got dressedCopy !req
1074. on day twoCopy !req
1075. did you check
the pant legCopy !req
1076. for the previous
day's underwear?Copy !req
1077. I don't need
to check the pant leg...
Donna...Copy !req
1078. They fell out of my pants?Copy !req
1079. It would appear
that way.Copy !req
1080. Where?Copy !req
1081. The South
Street exhibit.Copy !req
1082. Where?Copy !req
1083. On the floor in front
of Karen Cahill.Copy !req
1084. Please tell me
she's not the one...Copy !req
1085. She sent a note.Copy !req
1086. C.J.:
Fred and Ethel, would
you follow me, please?Copy !req
1087. She's talking
about us.Copy !req
1088. C.J.:
Did a question get tacked onto
the monthly DNC tracking pollCopy !req
1089. about moving the press room?Copy !req
1090. Yes, it did.Copy !req
1091. Because I at least wanted
to shoot down the argumentCopy !req
1092. that the public...Copy !req
1093. The public get their news
from the pressCopy !req
1094. and the press
gets their news...Copy !req
1095. It's a private poll.
The press doesn't
have access to it.Copy !req
1096. So they don't know what
questions we're asking?Copy !req
1097. Yeah.
Are you sure?Copy !req
1098. The only way they'd
know what questions
were being askedCopy !req
1099. is if they were
actually called by
one of the pollstersCopy !req
1100. and... oh, my God.
Yes.Copy !req
1101. A reporter got called
by one of the pollsters?Copy !req
1102. Yes, indeed, yes.Copy !req
1103. Wow. What are the chances
of that?Copy !req
1104. The chances of that
are astronomical.Copy !req
1105. Guys...Copy !req
1106. We can calculate it.
They sample 800 respondents...Copy !req
1107. Would the two of you stop
being amazed by the mathematics?Copy !req
1108. All right,
I'd pass it off.Copy !req
1109. Just say some poor schnook
in the management officeCopy !req
1110. got the idea and wanted
to kick it around.Copy !req
1111. Sam...Copy !req
1112. It's going to be me, right?Copy !req
1113. Okay.
Yeah.Copy !req
1114. You ready?
Yeah.Copy !req
1115. You had a lot of opportunities
todayCopy !req
1116. to say "I told you so"
and score some points with Leo.Copy !req
1117. You're a class act.Copy !req
1118. Why were you holding
women's underwear before?Copy !req
1119. Never really
needed a reason.Copy !req
1120. Eat them up.Copy !req
1121. C.J.! C.J.! C.J.!Copy !req
1122. White House Press Secretary
C.J. Cregg characterizedCopy !req
1123. the Republican response
as bizarre.Copy !req
1124. C.J.:
There was no intent to "ambush"
the Republican partyCopy !req
1125. with an issue that's been
on the table for over a year.Copy !req
1126. Ann Stark, recently installed
Chief of StaffCopy !req
1127. in the Majority Leader's officeCopy !req
1128. said that she was surprised
by the White House information.Copy !req
1129. And shocked.Copy !req
1130. Shocked, I say, to discoverCopy !req
1131. that there's gambling going on
in this establishment.Copy !req
1132. Maybe if you'd gotten me
a gift of some kind.Copy !req
1133. You think this is funny?Copy !req
1134. You used to have a sense
of humor, Toby.Copy !req
1135. Nah, you never had a sense
of humor, Toby.Copy !req
1136. Ann...Copy !req
1137. I think you'll have to start
getting next to the ideaCopy !req
1138. that your party
isn't in the majority.Copy !req
1139. My party's in the White House.Copy !req
1140. A building
to which the ConstitutionCopy !req
1141. does not endow sovereign power.Copy !req
1142. You think
I'm going to sit aroundCopy !req
1143. while you reduce the President
to Prime Minister?Copy !req
1144. Stand or sit,
we're in the majorityCopy !req
1145. and things are going
to have to look it.Copy !req
1146. And by the way,
don't ever walk into my officeCopy !req
1147. without an appointment.Copy !req
1148. You'd think this could wait
until an election year.Copy !req
1149. When is it not an election year?Copy !req
1150. Because ten years agoCopy !req
1151. we used to be able to sit downCopy !req
1152. we'd order a couple of bourbons,
we'd talk about health careCopy !req
1153. we'd talkCopy !req
1154. about the minimum wage.Copy !req
1155. He didn't have a sore throat.Copy !req
1156. No.Copy !req
1157. You kept him off the board so he
could come back on and fix it.Copy !req
1158. Yeah.Copy !req
1159. When are you going to announce?Copy !req
1160. Announce what?Copy !req
1161. That he's running for President?Copy !req
1162. I'm pretty sure we just did.Copy !req
1163. Good morning.Copy !req
1164. I'm going to read
a short statementCopy !req
1165. in response
to the rather bizarre takeCopy !req
1166. on what was an otherwise
unremarkable...Copy !req
1167. I think the whole damn thing
is bizarre.Copy !req
1168. Mr. President, I don't know
if this is the right moment.Copy !req
1169. Right moment for what?Copy !req
1170. Donna Moss needs a favor.Copy !req
1171. While talking last night
to Karen CahillCopy !req
1172. she accidentally dropped
her underwear.Copy !req
1173. She feels there's a chanceCopy !req
1174. that Karen Cahill may
have misinterpreted thatCopy !req
1175. and Donna asked me to ask you
if you would call Karen CahillCopy !req
1176. and make it clear she wasn't
making a sexual advance.Copy !req
1177. Well, I'm not sureCopy !req
1178. there is a right moment
to ask me that, Charlie.Copy !req
1179. So I should tell her no?Copy !req
1180. Yeah.Copy !req
1181. Good evening, Mr. President.Copy !req
1182. Donna wants me
to call Karen CahillCopy !req
1183. and make it clear
she wasn't hitting on herCopy !req
1184. when she gave her
her underwear.Copy !req
1185. Yeah, that's 'cause I made fun
of her shoesCopy !req
1186. and then Sam said there were
nuclear weapons in KyrgyzstanCopy !req
1187. and Donna went to clear up
the mix-upCopy !req
1188. and accidentally left
her underwear.Copy !req
1189. There can't possibly be
nuclear weapons in Kyrgyzstan.Copy !req
1190. Mr. President, please don't wadeCopy !req
1191. hip deep
into this story.Copy !req
1192. Sir?
Okay. Yeah?Copy !req
1193. Toby.Copy !req
1194. I'm going to bed.Copy !req
1195. If anybody thinks of new ways
for us to make friendsCopy !req
1196. don't hesitate to wake me.Copy !req
1197. Or, you know, just feel free
to start a fire.Copy !req
1198. Thank you, Mr. President.Copy !req
1199. Good night.Copy !req
1200. Toby.Copy !req
1201. He didn't want to see me?Copy !req
1202. He'll be all right
in the morning.Copy !req
1203. Yeah.Copy !req
1204. You're the Communications
Director. It was a TV show.Copy !req
1205. It was a blunder
from top to bottom.Copy !req
1206. You should knowCopy !req
1207. that it could have been avoided
at several points along the wayCopy !req
1208. if I'd listened to C.J.Copy !req
1209. Or me.Copy !req
1210. Yeah.Copy !req
1211. Alexander Hamilton
didn't thinkCopy !req
1212. we should have
political parties.Copy !req
1213. Neither did John Adams.Copy !req
1214. They thought
political parties
led to divisiveness.Copy !req
1215. They do.Copy !req
1216. They should.Copy !req
1217. We have honest disagreements.
Arguments are good.Copy !req
1218. Only if they lead
to statesmanship.Copy !req
1219. Or it's just theater.Copy !req
1220. And statesmanship
is compromise.Copy !req
1221. What about persuasion?Copy !req
1222. They're coming for us, Leo.Copy !req
1223. I know.Copy !req
1224. I mean they're coming
for us now.Copy !req
1225. Toby, if you knew
what it was likeCopy !req
1226. getting him to run
the first time...Copy !req
1227. I know.Copy !req
1228. Like pushing molasses
up a sandy hill.Copy !req
1229. If I go and tell him
it's time to run againCopy !req
1230. he's going
to get crazy...Copy !req
1231. and frustrated.Copy !req
1232. He's going to sink into his headCopy !req
1233. and he's going to say
he's not running.Copy !req
1234. Yeah.Copy !req
1235. Yeah.Copy !req
1236. So we've got to do it for him.Copy !req
1237. We'll keep it away
from this officeCopy !req
1238. but we've gotCopy !req
1239. to get real now.Copy !req
1240. Leo, Ann Stark's
a wartime consigliere.Copy !req
1241. That's why she was bumped up.Copy !req
1242. I'm a wartime consigliere,
too, Toby.Copy !req
1243. Yeah.Copy !req
1244. I was just hoping it'd be
peacetime a little longer.Copy !req
1245. Yeah.Copy !req
1246. Son of a bitch.Copy !req
1247. Yeah.Copy !req
1248. Shake my hand.Copy !req
1249. We just formed it.Copy !req
1250. Formed what?Copy !req
1251. The Committee to
Reelect the President.Copy !req