1. Judge Mendoza, I'm nominating you...Copy !req
2. to be the next associate justice
of the Supreme Court.Copy !req
3. I'm Sam Seaborn,
deputy communications director.Copy !req
4. Josh Lyman,
deputy chief of staff.Copy !req
5. Jed Bartlet.Copy !req
6. - Charles.
- Prefer Charlie?Copy !req
7. - Zoey?
- If I call you Charlie.Copy !req
8. - We've met. McGarry, chief of staff.
- I thought you were the butler.Copy !req
9. McGarry's chief of staff.
I'm your host, C.J.Copy !req
10. - I'm Ziegler.
- From the White House.Copy !req
11. Welcome to the third installment
of this year's Dupont Lecture Series.Copy !req
12. I see by the turnout,
you're excited to meet our guest...Copy !req
13. - What?
- He was arrested.Copy !req
14. - For what?
- Drunk driving and disorderly conduct.Copy !req
15. - You think?
- It's 30 minutes old. We don't know.Copy !req
16. - What do we know?
- He doesn't drink.Copy !req
17. - He was arrested for it.
- Mendoza doesn't drink.Copy !req
18. - And the press?
- They know nothing.Copy !req
19. - Cops haven't leaked it?
- They don't know.Copy !req
20. - That they've arrested him?
- That it's that Mendoza.Copy !req
21. I got this thing now.Copy !req
22. I got a cab.Copy !req
23. The White House.
I'll let you know.Copy !req
24. Stay ahead of the pitch.
Have Toby page me.Copy !req
25. We don't even know if this guy's
called a lawyer. Is he in a jail cell?Copy !req
26. You're not there anymore, are you?
I'm talking to no one at all.Copy !req
27. where he worked as manager
for the minority whip...Copy !req
28. and chief of staff
for Congressman Brennan.Copy !req
29. After serving as senior political
director for Bartlet's campaign...Copy !req
30. he was appointed
deputy chief of staff.Copy !req
31. Please welcome Joshua Lyman.Copy !req
32. Thank you very much.Copy !req
33. - Nice to see you.
- Good to see you.Copy !req
34. - Just slip that mike on, there.
- Let's see here...Copy !req
35. Tell us what it's like
to work for the president.Copy !req
36. I'll do my best.Copy !req
37. - What happened?
- It's not bad.Copy !req
38. - Was the president's nominee arrested?
- Yes.Copy !req
39. - I thought he doesn't drink.
- He doesn't drink.Copy !req
40. - He was tonight.
- We vetted him. He doesn't drink.Copy !req
41. Yes.Copy !req
42. - Where was it?
- Connecticut.Copy !req
43. - Why refuse the Breathalyzer?
- He's crazy and out to ruin my life.Copy !req
44. - Anyone posted bail?
- No. Can't find a judge.Copy !req
45. - Why not?
- It's Friday night in Connecticut.Copy !req
46. Believe me, I'll figure a way
to blame this on you.Copy !req
47. - I have no doubt.
- Find his lawyer and talk to him.Copy !req
48. Sam, there's an Air Force Lear jet.Copy !req
49. Fly to Westchester Airport,
rent a car...Copy !req
50. and get the next associate justice
out of jail.Copy !req
51. C.J., Sam sees one reporter when he
gets off that plane, I blame you.Copy !req
52. - Toby's got that.
- I'm going.Copy !req
53. The judge and I will
have a conversation.Copy !req
54. I want a call every 15 minutes.
I wanna know what's going on.Copy !req
55. Tell us about a typical day
at the White House.Copy !req
56. The first thing I'll tell you
is, there's no such thing.Copy !req
57. There's a schedule and there's
a structure, to be sure.Copy !req
58. And, to a certain extent,
it starts out as a nine-to-five job.Copy !req
59. But you can count on it
being blown to hell by 9:30.Copy !req
60. Give us an example.Copy !req
61. I'll give you an example
from this week.Copy !req
62. The story I'm about to tell you
all happened within the last 36 hours.Copy !req
63. Anyone who's been reading
the papers...Copy !req
64. has been following what we call
"the news cycle that wouldn't end. "Copy !req
65. It started either with a
cabinet secretary losing her temper...Copy !req
66. a committee chairman baiting her...Copy !req
67. the president answering a question
he shouldn't have...Copy !req
68. a dentist appointment,
or me being stupid.Copy !req
69. For the record, I don't think
it was as much my fault...Copy !req
70. as other people do.Copy !req
71. It started out as a day
to trumpet the president's vision...Copy !req
72. for education reform.Copy !req
73. - Give me the bullet points.
- I understand this.Copy !req
74. - I have confidence in you.
- Thanks.Copy !req
75. - Give him the points.
- I'm bathed in your confidence too.Copy !req
76. Forgive student loans
to new teachers...Copy !req
77. who spend three years teaching
in inner-city schools.Copy !req
78. Bonuses to people who leave
careers to become teachers.Copy !req
79. Federal grants to schools
to use more experienced teachers...Copy !req
80. to train the less experienced.Copy !req
81. - Half the new teachers quit in 3 years.
- Right here on my index card.Copy !req
82. - Very good, then.
- Toby. Got a minute?Copy !req
83. Thank you both.Copy !req
84. - Know what? What time's your briefing?
00.Copy !req
85. - Push it to 1:00.
- I thought about that.Copy !req
86. Do it after the bill.
Let this be the story.Copy !req
87. - Move it to 1:00.
- You can't. You have the thing.Copy !req
88. - A perfect excuse to postpone.
- You don't want to.Copy !req
89. - A "thing"?
- Dentist appointment.Copy !req
90. - What's wrong?
- Nothing. I'm experiencing pain.Copy !req
91. - For how long?
- A month. It'll go away.Copy !req
92. - When?
- When I die.Copy !req
93. Carol, cancel it.Copy !req
94. Set the briefing for 2:00,
keep the appointment.Copy !req
95. Teeth are your friends.
Care for them, they'll care for you.Copy !req
96. - When did this talk start?
- I'm nuts for dental hygiene.Copy !req
97. - Go away now.
- Okay.Copy !req
98. - She called him a racist.
- She didn't.Copy !req
99. - What did she say?
- Well, yes, she did.Copy !req
100. Bonnie, Ginger,
I want anything on the wire...Copy !req
101. about the HUD secretary
calling Wooden a racist.Copy !req
102. You want it now?Copy !req
103. No, I want it
at whatever leisurely pace...Copy !req
104. - I'm just asking.
- I want it now.Copy !req
105. On C-SPAN, she called him a racist?Copy !req
106. Not just Wooden.
She included all Republicans.Copy !req
107. - Why be good-humored?
- She was baited.Copy !req
108. - So?
- She was baited and she was right.Copy !req
109. - Did you know Deborah O'Leary...
- Is that a wire story?Copy !req
110. "Wooden's problems with public housing
drew an angry response from O'Leary. "Copy !req
111. And here's what she said:
"Public housing has serious problems.Copy !req
112. But if you and the Republicans
were as invested in solving them...Copy !req
113. as in scoring political points
on the backs of minorities...Copy !req
114. you might see the value. "Copy !req
115. - "You calling me a racist?"
- "Of course not," she answered?Copy !req
116. - "If the shoe fits," she responded.
- Well, wasn't that clever of her?Copy !req
117. Donald Morales, the spokesman
for Housing and Urban Development...Copy !req
118. who's wishing he hadn't
gotten out of bed that morning...Copy !req
119. confirms what happened.
Now there's telling the president.Copy !req
120. - "If the shoe fits"?
- It gets worse, actually.Copy !req
121. "When reporters confronted O'Leary,
she defended... "Copy !req
122. - Come on!
- Don't worry, I'll take care of it.Copy !req
123. - She on her way?
- She'll be here in half an hour.Copy !req
124. Mr. President?Copy !req
125. "If the shoe fits. "
Is that the best she could do?Copy !req
126. Of her many transgressions,
let's not worry about the cliche.Copy !req
127. Ladies and gentlemen,
the president of the United States.Copy !req
128. The president spoke briefly.Copy !req
129. The president has never spoken
briefly in his life, but...Copy !req
130. He spoke, signed the bill,
gave away the pens...Copy !req
131. then he took a few questions
from the press.Copy !req
132. It should be pointed out that
according to every poll...Copy !req
133. the issue that concerns
Americans most is education.Copy !req
134. The president had just signed off
on $700 million for education...Copy !req
135. and announced a plan
of aggressive initiatives.Copy !req
136. What was the first question?Copy !req
137. Do you agree with O'Leary
that Wooden's a racist?Copy !req
138. - If not, will you ask her to resign?
- I have great confidence in O'Leary.Copy !req
139. She's done a terrific job
at HUD helping thousands...Copy !req
140. transition from joblessness
and homelessness to productive lives.Copy !req
141. You didn't answer the question.Copy !req
142. - I was hoping you wouldn't notice.
- I did, sir.Copy !req
143. I agree the Republican Party doesn't
have a comprehensive program...Copy !req
144. for combating poverty.
But there are countless Republicans...Copy !req
145. working to change
their party's legacy.Copy !req
146. I hope to be working with them.Copy !req
147. I'm sure that was an answer
to some question. Just not mine.Copy !req
148. If only we'd stopped it there.Copy !req
149. If only we'd said, "The president
can't take any questions now. "Copy !req
150. Or, "We'll cover this in the briefing. "
Or, "The building is on fire. "Copy !req
151. But it took us all a moment
to realize...Copy !req
152. there was no press secretary
in the room.Copy !req
153. She went too far in assigning
motive to Wooden and the Republicans.Copy !req
154. - Will you speak to her?
- She'll meet McGarry.Copy !req
155. - Will he ask her to apologize?
- It'd be appropriate.Copy !req
156. - Get him off.
- Sam.Copy !req
157. We'll cover this in the briefing.Copy !req
158. The president's late
for the UN ambassador.Copy !req
159. Thank you, everyone.Copy !req
160. - That went pretty well.
- We'll fix it.Copy !req
161. - The UN ambassador is in Portugal.
- Okay. My bad.Copy !req
162. Eight words: "The president's
not taking any questions right now. "Copy !req
163. If we'd just stepped in
30 seconds sooner.Copy !req
164. That's me.Copy !req
165. I'm sorry. There's a thing.Copy !req
166. I have to answer this now.
This will just take a second.Copy !req
167. This is weird, I know...Copy !req
168. but, anyway...Copy !req
169. - It's me.
- Are you there?Copy !req
170. - We're lost.
- Lost?Copy !req
171. - We're not.
- What exit do we want for Wesley?Copy !req
172. - We missed the exit.
- We didn't.Copy !req
173. I'm in the middle of something.Copy !req
174. - Just tell me...
- Call me when you know something.Copy !req
175. Sorry about that.Copy !req
176. - Can you tell us what that was about?
- The trade deficit. Where was I?Copy !req
177. - If you'd gotten there sooner.
- The day would've gone differently.Copy !req
178. The president said
O'Leary should apologize.Copy !req
179. The press wanted to know
if she'd be fired if she didn't.Copy !req
180. We didn't have an answer.
She was coming for a showdown.Copy !req
181. This is what the day was about now.Copy !req
182. The day was about to get worse, because
I was about to step to the plate.Copy !req
183. This is wrong.
We're supposed to go east.Copy !req
184. - We're going east.
- How do you know?Copy !req
185. - The sun rises in the east.
- It's dark out.Copy !req
186. That bright star in the sky
is Polaris.Copy !req
187. - So?
- I'm using celestial navigation.Copy !req
188. Galileo, get off the next exit
and turn around.Copy !req
189. Secretary O'Leary was told that
Leo McGarry wanted to see her.Copy !req
190. No question she'd be angry about
the president asking her to apologize.Copy !req
191. But at the moment,
that was Leo's problem.Copy !req
192. - I can't believe it.
- You're pissed at us?Copy !req
193. How could he demand an apology
without hearing my side?Copy !req
194. We blew the press event
but I got a video of your side.Copy !req
195. - The man's a racist.
- Maybe.Copy !req
196. He uses his authority to spit
at the poor and minorities.Copy !req
197. He's doing it to score points
with his narrow-minded constituents.Copy !req
198. His narrow-minded constituents
are also ours.Copy !req
199. When are you guys gonna stop
running for president?Copy !req
200. When angels dance on pinheads.Copy !req
201. We need their votes for many issues,
including the budget for HUD.Copy !req
202. - Attacking HUD is attacking blacks.
- Thanks. Having been born yesterday.Copy !req
203. Don't you think it's my role as
the highest-ranking African-American...Copy !req
204. I think your role, first and foremost,
is to serve the president.Copy !req
205. A task today at which
you failed spectacularly.Copy !req
206. - Leo...
- You're gonna apologize.Copy !req
207. - I'm sorry.
- Not to me.Copy !req
208. - I called it like I saw it.
- Now you'll apologize for it.Copy !req
209. - I can't.
- You can.Copy !req
210. - I won't.
- You will.Copy !req
211. Is that an order?Copy !req
212. You're doing great work.
The president's nuts about you.Copy !req
213. He'll cry for three minutes
after he fires your ass...Copy !req
214. then he'll say, "What's next?"Copy !req
215. Leo, if I've gotta go
and ask Wooden for forgiveness...Copy !req
216. he'll lord it over me
until the end of time.Copy !req
217. It's the cost of doing business.Copy !req
218. Done.Copy !req
219. He's been provoking you for months.Copy !req
220. When you give in to him,
you surrender the high ground.Copy !req
221. How did it happen?Copy !req
222. You forgot what your grandfather
taught you.Copy !req
223. - "Never argue with a drunk or a fool. "
- Is the president very angry with me?Copy !req
224. He's upset you couldn't come up...Copy !req
225. with anything better than
"If the shoe fits. "Copy !req
226. - Good luck.
- Thank you.Copy !req
227. So that should have been it.
C.J. does the 2:00 briefing...Copy !req
228. tells them O'Leary
has an apology...Copy !req
229. all questions will be handled
by her spokesperson, Donald Morales...Copy !req
230. and redirects their attention
to the $700 million of yours...Copy !req
231. that we spent on teachers.Copy !req
232. Who here has had emergency root canal?Copy !req
233. - What the hell happened?
- I had root canal.Copy !req
234. - What happened to your cheeks?
- I had root canal.Copy !req
235. - Why are you talking like that?
- I had root canal!Copy !req
236. - I heard you. I was amusing myself.
- You can do other things with yourself.Copy !req
237. - Are you in pain?
- I had root canal!Copy !req
238. Stop saying that.
You sound ridiculous.Copy !req
239. - I have to cancel the briefing.
- You can't.Copy !req
240. - Look at me!
- You'll be great.Copy !req
241. I can't do it.
I can't even say "briefing. "Copy !req
242. You gotta wrap up O'Leary and
move them back to the bill signing.Copy !req
243. - Did you say my name?
- You really think I can do it?Copy !req
244. Don't be insane. You can't do it
looking like Bullwinkle.Copy !req
245. Again, you were just
having a little fun.Copy !req
246. - When can you take the cotton out?
- Two hours. I'll cancel.Copy !req
247. - We're still doing it.
- Who?Copy !req
248. - Me.
- No way. You get hostile.Copy !req
249. I get hot stuff?Copy !req
250. Hostile! You get hostile!Copy !req
251. I don't. I get hostile
when the hostility is called for.Copy !req
252. Let Sam do it.Copy !req
253. - He's in Foggy Bottom.
- Why's he in Foggy Bottom?Copy !req
254. I just wanted to make you say
"Foggy Bottom. " He's with the writers.Copy !req
255. - Toby?
- Toby's with the president.Copy !req
256. This is Josh coming at you
with your 2:00 briefing.Copy !req
257. Please, be very careful.
Try very hard not to destroy us.Copy !req
258. You shouldn't say that.
You got a great body.Copy !req
259. Here we go!Copy !req
260. Please take your seats.
We'll start the briefing.Copy !req
261. - You're not gonna do this.
- I talk to reporters all the time.Copy !req
262. You really don't wanna do this.Copy !req
263. Let me tell you something, mi
compadre. You guys have been coddled.Copy !req
264. I'm not your girlfriend
or your camp counselor...Copy !req
265. or your sixth-grade teacher.Copy !req
266. I'm a graduate of Harvard and Yale.
My powers of debate can rise to meet...Copy !req
267. the Socratic wonder
that is the White House press corps.Copy !req
268. Okey-dokey.Copy !req
269. Good afternoon.Copy !req
270. C.J. had an emergency,
so I'll handle the briefing.Copy !req
271. In my defense, first of all,
everything was fine.Copy !req
272. I dispensed of the O'Leary
matter with ease and poise.Copy !req
273. I opened to questions with a discipline
lacking in C.J.'s briefings.Copy !req
274. I'll take one question apiece.Copy !req
275. - Josh.
- Mike.Copy !req
276. When's the last time
the president had a cigarette?Copy !req
277. You want yours to be that stupid?Copy !req
278. - It's not stupid.
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
279. If the president
is adamantly anti-tobacco...Copy !req
280. why is it unreasonable
to ask if he smokes?Copy !req
281. He quit years ago.Copy !req
282. He bummed a cigarette from me
on Air Force One two days ago.Copy !req
283. Oh, my God.Copy !req
284. Well, then... Jonathan.Copy !req
285. - So you won't answer Katie's question?
- I'll look into it. Danny.Copy !req
286. Economists worry the drop
in unemployment...Copy !req
287. will create pressure on wages,
driving them up.Copy !req
288. Is the president worried
about a resurgence of inflation?Copy !req
289. The president is pleased...Copy !req
290. that unemployment has dropped
another 0.5 percent...Copy !req
291. We join him in his joy. I'm wondering
if he has a plan to fight inflation.Copy !req
292. He will maintain the robust economy
that has created jobs...Copy !req
293. improved productivity,
and kept a lid on inflation.Copy !req
294. But he has no plan
to address inflation specifically?Copy !req
295. Twenty-four Ph.D.s on a council of
economic advisors? They have a plan.Copy !req
296. Are you not telling
because it's a secret?Copy !req
297. Yeah, we have a secret plan.Copy !req
298. I guess that's pretty much
when the wheels came off the wagon.Copy !req
299. Now is a good time to break.Copy !req
300. Let's stretch our legs
for five minutes.Copy !req
301. Sign-up sheets for 202
are in the lobby.Copy !req
302. If you smoke, apparently you can
bum a cigarette on Air Force One.Copy !req
303. Let's have a hand
for our guest, Joshua Lyman.Copy !req
304. - You're great.
- Thanks.Copy !req
305. - What's going on?
- Sam feels we're zeroing in on it.Copy !req
306. You haven't found it yet?Copy !req
307. We've been navigating
by the North Star...Copy !req
308. which turned out to be
the Delta shuttle.Copy !req
309. How hard is it
to find the police station?Copy !req
310. I don't know. Can you tell me about
the secret plan to fight inflation?Copy !req
311. - How long before you let up on that?
- A little while.Copy !req
312. Call when you know something.Copy !req
313. There's a store. I'll ask where
the Wesley police station is.Copy !req
314. Or you can pull in there,
at the police station, and ask.Copy !req
315. - Look! We found it.
- Let's get this done and get out.Copy !req
316. Good evening.Copy !req
317. Good evening.Copy !req
318. Sam Seaborn. I work for the president.
Is your watch commander around?Copy !req
319. - Is this a joke?
- No.Copy !req
320. You walk in and tell me that?Copy !req
321. We're in trouble. The good thing is,
you're in more trouble than we are.Copy !req
322. The sooner you realize I'm telling
the truth, the better off we'll be.Copy !req
323. Why don't you get
your watch commander?Copy !req
324. If we'd stayed on the parkway
instead of going east...Copy !req
325. I don't think we'd have wound up
in Bridgeport so many times.Copy !req
326. - Shut up.
- I'm Sgt. McNamara. Can I help you?Copy !req
327. I'm the deputy communications director.
That's my boss, Toby Ziegler.Copy !req
328. - I'm in no mood for a joke.
- I understand.Copy !req
329. You have Roberto Mendoza
locked up back there.Copy !req
330. State your business here, or leave.Copy !req
331. I'm telling you to unlock the cell
and give me Mendoza.Copy !req
332. You come in here at 10:00 at night,
tell me you're with the White House...Copy !req
333. You've arrested a federal judge...Copy !req
334. who's the president's nominee
for the U.S. Supreme Court.Copy !req
335. You should get that.
That's the governor of Connecticut.Copy !req
336. Danny had thrown me a knuckle ball,
which then I had taken a swing at...Copy !req
337. and, just like that, the president
had a secret plan to fight inflation.Copy !req
338. When will the president
unveil his secret plan?Copy !req
339. There is no secret plan.
I was kidding.Copy !req
340. These are people's jobs.
You wanna give us a straight answer?Copy !req
341. I can't remember the question.Copy !req
342. Given the reduction in unemployment,
is there a plan to fight inflation?Copy !req
343. And if so, why is he
keeping it a secret?Copy !req
344. Oh, my God. I mean, oh, my God!Copy !req
345. - I can fix this.
- I don't think so.Copy !req
346. This is a great time for support.Copy !req
347. - You have my support.
- That's a start. What should I do?Copy !req
348. Come up with a secret plan
to fight inflation.Copy !req
349. - That's support?
- Joshua!Copy !req
350. - That's the face I wanted to see.
- What the hell happened in there?Copy !req
351. You completely imploded!Copy !req
352. - What'd I do?
- You completely imploded.Copy !req
353. - You were vague, hostile, belligerent.
- Belligerent.Copy !req
354. - Know what it'll take to fix this?
- I'll fix this.Copy !req
355. You're never allowed in my press room.Copy !req
356. - See if Toby was watching.
- Where is he?Copy !req
357. Never mind.Copy !req
358. - Just support me on this.
- No!Copy !req
359. Have you fallen and hit your head?Copy !req
360. - I feel really bad.
- You do?Copy !req
361. That's all that matters.
That was some good television.Copy !req
362. Four network news directors
will agree.Copy !req
363. This isn't as bad
as you're making it seem.Copy !req
364. A secret plan to fight inflation?Copy !req
365. C.J., for a little while
you'll have to write it down.Copy !req
366. - We have a problem.
- No kidding.Copy !req
367. - Not Josh.
- Praise God.Copy !req
368. Calling a question stupid
is not a page out of Carnegie.Copy !req
369. - What's wrong?
- You won't like it.Copy !req
370. The only thing that could make my day
worse is if Mendoza got involved.Copy !req
371. Roberto Mendoza is the president's
nominee for the Supreme Court.Copy !req
372. The president put Toby in charge of
his confirmation. Huge responsibility.Copy !req
373. A failed confirmation for the Court
is a body blow to a presidency.Copy !req
374. Besides, he's a brilliant jurist,
and we badly want him on the bench.Copy !req
375. The confirmation process is tough.
You gotta make a lot of friends.Copy !req
376. Nominees don't speak
before their confirmation.Copy !req
377. They let the White House
speak for them.Copy !req
378. Something Toby's had trouble
teaching Mendoza.Copy !req
379. He said the president was wrong?Copy !req
380. He said he was wrong
to make O'Leary apologize.Copy !req
381. - C.J.
- Sam, tell him.Copy !req
382. He said he was wrong
to make O'Leary apologize.Copy !req
383. - To who?
- To Wooden.Copy !req
384. - Who did he say it to?
- Chicago Tribune.Copy !req
385. I thought he's on vacation
in Nova Scotia.Copy !req
386. - He is.
- They called him in Nova Scotia?Copy !req
387. How did they find him?Copy !req
388. They have telephones in Nova Scotia.
It's not Amish country.Copy !req
389. Of all the people in this building,
you want to be the last to speak now.Copy !req
390. You bet.Copy !req
391. The president needs to be briefed.Copy !req
392. If you use the words
"pwesident" or "bwiefed" again...Copy !req
393. The president's in New Orleans
in an hour.Copy !req
394. No press at the conference.
When he's done, he comes home.Copy !req
395. He'll be in the residence by 3:30 a.m.Copy !req
396. Can I say something?Copy !req
397. What?Copy !req
398. A lot of this is our fault, and
the president won't take this well.Copy !req
399. We'll be there with you
in spirit tomorrow.Copy !req
400. You'll be there with me
in every way imaginable.Copy !req
401. - You bet.
- 7 a.m.Copy !req
402. This is not the first time
this had happened.Copy !req
403. In the eight weeks since
he was named the nominee...Copy !req
404. Mendoza has, on various
occasions, publicly criticized...Copy !req
405. the American Bar Association, the
AFL-CIO and the NY state legislature.Copy !req
406. Groups, without which, this
president wouldn't have been elected.Copy !req
407. Putting out the O'Leary fire
had been our only success.Copy !req
408. Now Judge Mendoza had
started up again.Copy !req
409. I'm really very sorry,
but I have to take this.Copy !req
410. - Yeah.
- Josh.Copy !req
411. - Yeah.
- We're in.Copy !req
412. - Where is he?
- With Toby.Copy !req
413. Hello, Mr. Justice.Copy !req
414. How are you?Copy !req
415. Incarcerated, Toby. How are you?Copy !req
416. - Do you need anything?
- No.Copy !req
417. The judge and I are gonna have a chat.Copy !req
418. The hardest job in the White House
is president.Copy !req
419. The second-hardest job
is not chief of staff...Copy !req
420. national security advisor,
or press secretary.Copy !req
421. Although, I'm gaining respect
for press secretaries.Copy !req
422. The second-hardest job belongs to a
21-year-old kid named Charlie Young.Copy !req
423. He's the president's body man,
his aide.Copy !req
424. He's with him morning to night.
He has a range of responsibilities.Copy !req
425. But the one he hates most is this:Copy !req
426. Sometimes, it's his job to wake
the president in the morning.Copy !req
427. On this morning, the president
had gone to sleep three hours earlier.Copy !req
428. - White House. Operator Four.
- Good morning, Helen.Copy !req
429. - How was New Orleans?
- He did well.Copy !req
430. - You been to sleep since yesterday?
- Good one.Copy !req
431. - Time for his wake-up call.
- Let me put you through.Copy !req
432. - What?
- Good morning. It's Charlie. I hope...Copy !req
433. What could you possibly
want right now?Copy !req
434. - Sir, it's 6:30 a.m. and...
- In the morning?Copy !req
435. Yes. I wanted to remind you...Copy !req
436. What in the name of everything holy
could you want now?Copy !req
437. You have a 7 a.m. meeting
with the senior staff...Copy !req
438. followed by
intelligence briefings...Copy !req
439. and a meeting with the chairman
of the Fed. Would you like coffee?Copy !req
440. - Who the hell is this?
- Sir.Copy !req
441. And what could you possibly want?Copy !req
442. Sir, I need you to dig in now.
It wasn't a nightmare.Copy !req
443. - You really are the president.
- All right.Copy !req
444. - I'll have the steward bring coffee.
- I'll get up now.Copy !req
445. Mendoza was summoned
to the White House from Nova Scotia.Copy !req
446. When you summon someone,
you expect them within the hour.Copy !req
447. Mendoza told us
he'd see us in three days.Copy !req
448. Why three days?
He was driving down to D.C...Copy !req
449. stopping in Connecticut
to do some antiquing.Copy !req
450. Another thing to tell the president,
who still hadn't awoken.Copy !req
451. - Charlie.
- Oh, come on.Copy !req
452. I've been knocking.
I don't hear the shower running.Copy !req
453. Thanks, Billy.
Give me a minute, would you?Copy !req
454. Mr. President.Copy !req
455. Are you aware
you're committing a federal crime?Copy !req
456. I'll take my chances with the feds.
It's 7:00.Copy !req
457. How did you know
the first lady wasn't naked?Copy !req
458. - Come to think of it, where is she?
- Argentina.Copy !req
459. That's right.Copy !req
460. Senior staff in the Oval Office.Copy !req
461. So I'll stand here while you get
out of bed, shower and get dressed.Copy !req
462. All right.Copy !req
463. - Have you slept yet?
- No, sir.Copy !req
464. Good.Copy !req
465. How's your mouth?Copy !req
466. Well, the swelling's gone down.Copy !req
467. On the other hand,
the painkillers wore off.Copy !req
468. He's driving from Nova Scotia
to Washington?Copy !req
469. How's a person do that?Copy !req
470. Take the Trans-Canada Highway
to New Brunswick...Copy !req
471. catch the 1,
the scenic route along Maine...Copy !req
472. 95 through to the Mass Pike...Copy !req
473. then the Merritt Parkway
around Milford.Copy !req
474. There's something freakish about you.Copy !req
475. I'm tired, cranky and my wife's in
Argentina. Let's get this over with.Copy !req
476. What?Copy !req
477. Mr. President, we experienced a few
public relations... What's the word?Copy !req
478. Catastrophes.Copy !req
479. - Incidents in the hours you were away.
- What kind of incidents?Copy !req
480. First, the incident involving O'Leary
and Wooden has been dispensed with.Copy !req
481. Though not really.
I'll get to that at the end.Copy !req
482. Sam asked C.J. to move the briefing
so we could fold in the teachers.Copy !req
483. C.J. had emergency root-canal surgery
and was unable to brief.Copy !req
484. - Who did?
- I did.Copy !req
485. Oh, God.Copy !req
486. You're going to be reading today about
your secret plan to fight inflation.Copy !req
487. - I have a secret plan for inflation?
- No.Copy !req
488. Why am I gonna be reading that I do?Copy !req
489. It was suggested in the press room
that you did.Copy !req
490. - By who?
- By me.Copy !req
491. You told the press
I have a secret plan?Copy !req
492. Let me be absolutely clear:
I did not do that.Copy !req
493. - Except, yes, I did that.
- I'm a little confused.Copy !req
494. There was this idiotic round robin.Copy !req
495. It was sarcastic.
There's no way they didn't know.Copy !req
496. They were just mad at me
for calling them stupid.Copy !req
497. Before we go on:Copy !req
498. C.J., if blood is gushing
from a head wound you received...Copy !req
499. from a stampede of bison,
you'll do the briefings.Copy !req
500. Yes, sir.Copy !req
501. - Mr. President...
- A secret plan?Copy !req
502. There was no turning them back.
They wouldn't take no.Copy !req
503. - Were you clear?
- Yes.Copy !req
504. They said, "If he has a plan,
is it right that he keep it secret?"Copy !req
505. I said, "Of course not. "Copy !req
506. Are you telling me that not only
did you invent a secret plan...Copy !req
507. but now you don't support it?Copy !req
508. - When you put it like that...
- Mr. President.Copy !req
509. Much as we'd love nothing more
than to stand and watch you...Copy !req
510. beat the living crap out of Josh,
there's a bigger fish to fry.Copy !req
511. What did Mendoza do?Copy !req
512. He told the Tribune you were wrong
to make O'Leary apologize.Copy !req
513. - I didn't. He did.
- You told me to.Copy !req
514. - You said you'd fix it.
- I did.Copy !req
515. - It's broken again.
- Because your nominee...Copy !req
516. is handling himself
in an unprofessional manner.Copy !req
517. We'll have the first
of a series of discussions...Copy !req
518. about professionalism another time.Copy !req
519. - Where is Mendoza?
- He's on his way.Copy !req
520. - Right now?
- He'll be here the day after tomorrow.Copy !req
521. - From Neptune?
- He's vacationing with his family.Copy !req
522. They'd prefer to take a drive
through Canada and New England...Copy !req
523. while stopping
for antique shopping.Copy !req
524. He'll take the Trans-Canada Highway...Copy !req
525. Okay, we'll wait for Mendoza.Copy !req
526. In the meantime, C.J.,
you'll untangle the press corps.Copy !req
527. We'll hope nothing happens today
to make this any worse.Copy !req
528. Although I wouldn't bet
the house on it. That is all.Copy !req
529. Thank you, Mr. President.Copy !req
530. I want to tell you I'm sorry.Copy !req
531. This will be cleaned up
in a professional manner.Copy !req
532. Good.Copy !req
533. If anyone asks,
you quit smoking years ago.Copy !req
534. The cigarette you bummed
was for a friend.Copy !req
535. - Get out.
- You bet.Copy !req
536. That was it.Copy !req
537. - What happened to Judge Mendoza?
- I'm sorry?Copy !req
538. - Did he get here from Nova Scotia?
- He's on his way.Copy !req
539. He's spending the night
in Connecticut to do antiquing.Copy !req
540. - He's been in there a little while.
- Yeah.Copy !req
541. I'm the one that pulled him over.Copy !req
542. His driving was erratic. I'm not
convinced he hadn't been drinking.Copy !req
543. - You have a problem there.
- What's that?Copy !req
544. He has chronic persistent hepatitis.
Non-progressive liver inflammation.Copy !req
545. If he'd had enough to drink
to blow. 1, he'd be dead right now.Copy !req
546. This is good coffee.Copy !req
547. Why didn't you take the Breathalyzer?Copy !req
548. I was driving within the speed limit
on the right side of the road.Copy !req
549. I have valid tags and I don't have
warrants for my arrest in Connecticut.Copy !req
550. Absent just cause,
a Breathalyzer's an illegal search...Copy !req
551. and a civil-rights violation.Copy !req
552. So you give him a hard time
to make a point?Copy !req
553. - A point worth making.
- Not now.Copy !req
554. - Right now.
- One phone call:Copy !req
555. "Toby, this happened. Tell them I'm
Mendoza and I'm named to the bench. "Copy !req
556. They pulled me over because I look
like my name is Roberto Mendoza...Copy !req
557. and I'm coming to rob your house.Copy !req
558. Let's go.Copy !req
559. - Where are we going?
- Let's go home.Copy !req
560. - I'm not going anywhere.
- Judge!Copy !req
561. - I'm under arrest.
- Not anymore.Copy !req
562. You pull all the strings you want
but not for me.Copy !req
563. Come Monday, I'll avail myself
of the justice system...Copy !req
564. for which I have worked
my entire life.Copy !req
565. Judge, due respect, let's go.Copy !req
566. My kid was in the car, Toby.Copy !req
567. They patted me down
and handcuffed me in front of my boy.Copy !req
568. Then he and his mother...Copy !req
569. got to see them put me
in the squad car and drive away.Copy !req
570. He's also seen you wearing a robe
with a gavel in your hand.Copy !req
571. He doesn't understand that.
He doesn't know what that is.Copy !req
572. He understands who the police are
because of TV.Copy !req
573. That's what he'll remember.
His father being handcuffed.Copy !req
574. So America just got another
pissed-off guy with dark skin.Copy !req
575. - Robbie and Laura, where are they?
- Motel, a few miles.Copy !req
576. There's nothing about this
that doesn't stink.Copy !req
577. If it were me, I'd want vengeance.
I'd say, "Let justice be done. "Copy !req
578. I'd also want to spend time
in a dark room alone...Copy !req
579. so that I didn't have to face
my wife and my son...Copy !req
580. and have them see my humiliation.Copy !req
581. Bob, I can't get this done
if this is the story.Copy !req
582. Nothing about this that doesn't stink.Copy !req
583. Nothing that wouldn't be better
if you were a Supreme Court justice.Copy !req
584. Let me take you to the motel.
Go see your boy.Copy !req
585. So, can I ask?Copy !req
586. A guy in your job, do you know
missile codes and that sort of thing?Copy !req
587. - Yeah.
- Outstanding.Copy !req
588. - Good evening, Mr. Justice.
- Good evening, Sam.Copy !req
589. - He's got personal items?
- Yes, sir.Copy !req
590. It's your lucky night.Copy !req
591. There isn't going to be a report,
an investigation or suspension.Copy !req
592. And no one's filing a $100-million
lawsuit that they would surely win.Copy !req
593. But in this room,
you'll apologize to Mr. Mendoza.Copy !req
594. Then you'll get in your squad car,
follow us and apologize to his son.Copy !req
595. Judge Mendoza...Copy !req
596. we sincerely apologize
for our mistake.Copy !req
597. - Thank you.
- Let's go.Copy !req
598. You could do a better job
of marking the exits on the thruway.Copy !req
599. Let's go.Copy !req
600. We'll be behind you.Copy !req
601. If there's no reason for you to
go back, you should spend the night.Copy !req
602. - What's up here?
- Great antiquing.Copy !req
603. You're killing me, judge.
Absolutely killing me.Copy !req
604. Josh? It's over.Copy !req
605. Good.Copy !req
606. That's the last time
the phone will ring, I promise.Copy !req
607. There's a part of the story
I didn't tell you.Copy !req
608. I can't.Copy !req
609. It doesn't involve...
I just can't, right now.Copy !req
610. Ask me back again
after the Senate confirms Mendoza.Copy !req
611. You should hear it. It's a good story.Copy !req
612. - Why don't we take some questions?
- Yeah.Copy !req