1. Two Absolut martinis up.
Another Dewar's rocks.Copy !req
2. We're not gonna run the table.Copy !req
3. Deep background.
I won't use your name.Copy !req
4. And you won't get a quote.Copy !req
5. - Why are we here?
- You sat down.Copy !req
6. - Is Josh on his way out?
- No.Copy !req
7. - I know he's your friend.
- He is.Copy !req
8. - Did Caldwell...?
- I'm not talking.Copy !req
9. - Who do I call?
- No.Copy !req
10. - Just tell me who to call.
- Call 1-800-BITE-ME.Copy !req
11. He's not going anywhere, Billy.Copy !req
12. You're lying now.Copy !req
13. Why would I lie to a journalist?Copy !req
14. Why do you keep looking
behind me?Copy !req
15. Alger Hiss came in with a pumpkin.Copy !req
16. - That girl's eyeing me.
- Really?Copy !req
17. I never know if they're looking
or not.Copy !req
18. Yeah, I think she was.Copy !req
19. Thank you for the casual way
you did that.Copy !req
20. She probably didn't notice that.Copy !req
21. Twenty-five cars jumped the tracks,
spilling sodium hydroxide...Copy !req
22. 17 across is just wrong.
You believe that, Ruth?Copy !req
23. - You should call them.
- I will.Copy !req
24. - Telephone.
- I'm in the shower.Copy !req
25. It's Potus.Copy !req
26. You can have a normal life.
You'd be amazed at how normal I am.Copy !req
27. It's all about budgeting your time.Copy !req
28. This time, this hour, this is my time.
5 a.m. to 6 a.m.Copy !req
29. I can work out,
think about personal matters.Copy !req
30. I can meet an interesting man.Copy !req
31. - The trick...
- Beeper.Copy !req
32. - What?
- I think your beeper's going.Copy !req
33. Lyman here.
What is it?Copy !req
34. Please turn off all
electronic devices...Copy !req
35. stow tray tables and return your
seats to the upright position.Copy !req
36. We will be landing shortly.Copy !req
37. - Sir, please turn off your computer.
- I'm almost done.Copy !req
38. Sir, your laptop interferes
with our systems.Copy !req
39. You know that sounds
pretty ridiculous, right?Copy !req
40. Mr. Ziegler, a message was
sent to the cockpit for you.Copy !req
41. I'm not sure I've got it right:
"Potus in a bicycle accident"?Copy !req
42. We're flying in
a Lockheed Eagle Series L-1011.Copy !req
43. It carries a Sim-5
transponder tracking system.Copy !req
44. But I can screw it up with something
I bought at Radioshack?Copy !req
45. You can call when we land, sir.Copy !req
46. Also, I never got my peanuts.Copy !req
47. How you doing, Sam?Copy !req
48. The water pressure in here
is impressive.Copy !req
49. - I know.
- You could run hydraulics.Copy !req
50. - You want some?
- I'm fine.Copy !req
51. - I'm wasted.
- And free of cataracts.Copy !req
52. - I get that. That's funny.
- Thank you.Copy !req
53. Wait, your pager went off
while you were in the shower.Copy !req
54. I thought it was mine.Copy !req
55. "Potus in a bicycle accident.
Come to the office. "Copy !req
56. I memorized it just in case
I erased it by accident.Copy !req
57. These things look exactly alike.Copy !req
58. Anyway, I'm totally baked,
but it's not like I'm a drug person.Copy !req
59. - I just love pot.
- Laurie, I have to go.Copy !req
60. - It's 5:30 a.m.
- This doesn't look good.Copy !req
61. Not that good, no.Copy !req
62. I like you, and I'd like to call you.Copy !req
63. Stay right here, save the call.Copy !req
64. I see the logic,
but I gotta go.Copy !req
65. - Because Potus was in an accident?
- Yep.Copy !req
66. Tell your friend Potus
to learn to ride a bike.Copy !req
67. He's my boss, not my friend.
It's not his name. It's his title.Copy !req
68. Potus?Copy !req
69. "President of the United States. "
I'll call you!Copy !req
70. - Nice morning, Mr. McGarry.
- We'll take care of that in a hurry.Copy !req
71. - Don't kill the messenger, Leo.
- Why not?Copy !req
72. - Five minutes?
- Please.Copy !req
73. - Emma.
- Morning.Copy !req
74. Wilson.
Joe.Copy !req
75. - Jeffrey.
- Whatever. Josh!Copy !req
76. - Morning, Leo.
- Donna.Copy !req
77. - Is he in yet?
- Yeah.Copy !req
78. Can you get him?Copy !req
79. - Josh!
- Thanks.Copy !req
80. - I heard it's broken.
- Wrong.Copy !req
81. It's a mild sprain.
He'll be back.Copy !req
82. - What caused it?
- You from State Farm?Copy !req
83. Go! Do a job.
He was swerving to avoid a tree.Copy !req
84. - And?
- He was unsuccessful.Copy !req
85. Just don't do anything
until you talk to Justice.Copy !req
86. How many Cubans are crammed
into these boats?Copy !req
87. By and large,
they're not boats.Copy !req
88. "Boats" conjures the image
of a boat, first of all.Copy !req
89. What the Cubans are on
are charitably described as rafts.Copy !req
90. They're coming from Havana
in fruit baskets.Copy !req
91. - Let's be clear.
- We are.Copy !req
92. If it floats, it looks good to them.Copy !req
93. - How many are there?
- We don't know.Copy !req
94. - What time did they leave?
- We don't know.Copy !req
95. - Know when they arrive?
- No.Copy !req
96. On high ground in Key West
with binoculars...Copy !req
97. I'd be as informed as you.Copy !req
98. - True.
- Intelligence is money well spent.Copy !req
99. Tom sent the Coast Guard.
They won't make it to our waters!Copy !req
100. The DEA could suspect drugs.Copy !req
101. - Do they?
- I can make a phone call.Copy !req
102. If the DEA thought
they had drugs...Copy !req
103. wouldn't we have to search
those rafts with guns and blankets?Copy !req
104. You look like hell.
You know that?Copy !req
105. - I do. Listen, did he say anything?
- Did he say anything?Copy !req
106. The president's pissed at you
and so am I.Copy !req
107. We gotta work with these people.
Where do you get off...?Copy !req
108. - Al Caldwell's a good man.
- He wasn't there.Copy !req
109. You take the entire
Christian right...Copy !req
110. and dump them
into one big pile.Copy !req
111. - We need them.
- We don't need them.Copy !req
112. We need Caldwell.
We want Caldwell.Copy !req
113. We don't need John Van Dyke
or Mary Marsh.Copy !req
114. And I think there shouldn't be
instant replay in football.Copy !req
115. - It was stupid.
- Damn straight.Copy !req
116. - I was right, though!
- Like I don't know that.Copy !req
117. Mr. McGarry, have they done an x-ray?
Is anything broken?Copy !req
118. A $4000 titanium touring bike that
I swore I'd never lend anyone.Copy !req
119. - I don't understand.
- He's a klutz! The president's a geek.Copy !req
120. You know how I feel about
that kind of talk.Copy !req
121. - I apologize.
- Just in this room, is all I'm asking.Copy !req
122. Call OEOB.
Set up a briefing for the VP.Copy !req
123. Coordinate with Katey Simons' office.Copy !req
124. - Get everybody?
- Yes. Margaret?Copy !req
125. Call the editor
of The Times ' crossword.Copy !req
126. Tell him "Khaddafi" has
one H and two D's.Copy !req
127. And it isn't a 7-letter word.Copy !req
128. - Is this real or is this funny?
- Neither.Copy !req
129. Can I say anything besides
"Rode into a tree"?Copy !req
130. - He'll never do it again.
- They'll laugh.Copy !req
131. He rode his bicycle into a tree.Copy !req
132. "The president,
while riding a bicycle on vacation...Copy !req
133. came to a sudden arboreal stop. "Copy !req
134. Tell me about the Cubans.Copy !req
135. Between 1200 and 2000 Cubans...Copy !req
136. from a village south of Havana.Copy !req
137. - Headed where?
- Vegas.Copy !req
138. - Miami. Their navigational equipment...
- Navigational? "That way is north. "Copy !req
139. - If one had a fast ball, we'd get them.
- That's not entirely true.Copy !req
140. Forget about the journey.
The voyage is not our problem.Copy !req
141. - What's our problem?
- What to do when they hit Miami.Copy !req
142. Can't send them back.Copy !req
143. - We'll get whacked.
- Three districts.Copy !req
144. - Those seats are gone.
- Plus, it's wrong.Copy !req
145. - Texas?
- Don't worry.Copy !req
146. Keep Josh in the loop on this.Copy !req
147. - Me? The thing is...
- Deal with it.Copy !req
148. I'm happy to. I'm just saying,
isn't this more of a military area?Copy !req
149. Military?Copy !req
150. We're under attack by
Cubans in rowboats?Copy !req
151. - I like our chances.
- How did we win an election?Copy !req
152. - Pat Thomas wants the Guard.
- You'll create a panic situation.Copy !req
153. I agree with Josh, C.J. and Sam.
You know that makes me crazy.Copy !req
154. They're on the run.
Don't play games.Copy !req
155. Send help,
don't send the National Guard.Copy !req
156. See that INS works with Red Cross
and CDC.Copy !req
157. - I got a guy in CDC.
- Talk to him.Copy !req
158. Moving on, let's talk about Josh.Copy !req
159. Al scares the president.
Josh knows.Copy !req
160. - He won't fire him.
- He has no choice.Copy !req
161. - He's not gonna fire Josh.
- He doesn't have a choice.Copy !req
162. I had drinks with Sam Seaborn
last night.Copy !req
163. - And the president's firing Josh?
- He needs these people.Copy !req
164. Folks...Copy !req
165. - What if he...?
- He doesn't have a choice.Copy !req
166. Good morning.Copy !req
167. Dr. Randal Haymen,
chief of orthopedics at St. John's...Copy !req
168. diagnosed the president
with a sprained ankle...Copy !req
169. sustained while cycling
into a large tree.Copy !req
170. Details are in the report
being distributed...Copy !req
171. with photos of the president
resisting help and falling down again.Copy !req
172. By all means, enjoy yourselves.
Item number two.Copy !req
173. C.J., has the president...?Copy !req
174. Let's just get through this.Copy !req
175. Item number two...Copy !req
176. None of your business.
If 38 states...Copy !req
177. You don't believe in any god
that I pray to, Mr. Lyman.Copy !req
178. The god you pray to is too busy
being indicted for tax fraud.Copy !req
179. You don't believe in any god
that I pray to, Mr. Lyman.Copy !req
180. The god you pray to is too busy
being indicted for tax fraud.Copy !req
181. That tie bleeds on television.Copy !req
182. - The tie wasn't the problem.
- I told you.Copy !req
183. - What's that?
- Coffee.Copy !req
184. - I thought so.
- It's for you.Copy !req
185. - What's going on?
- Nothing. Coffee.Copy !req
186. Close the door.Copy !req
187. - When did you start working here?
- The campaign.Copy !req
188. - How long ago?
- A year and a half.Copy !req
189. When's the last time
you brought coffee?Copy !req
190. You've never brought me coffee.Copy !req
191. - It isn't a big deal...
- If I get fired, I get fired.Copy !req
192. Do you think he's gonna do it?Copy !req
193. No.Copy !req
194. You won that election for him,
you and Leo and C.J. and Sam.Copy !req
195. - Open the damn door.
- And him.Copy !req
196. - Thanks for the coffee.
- You're welcome.Copy !req
197. - Donna brought you coffee?
- Shut up!Copy !req
198. What's up?Copy !req
199. What'd I say yesterday?Copy !req
200. - Don't get cute with Marsh.
- Don't get cute.Copy !req
201. I said don't treat Caldwell
like a revival tent clown.Copy !req
202. - Caldwell wasn't there.
- He was watching.Copy !req
203. What do you want from me?Copy !req
204. I want you to keep your job.Copy !req
205. - How?
- I have a suggestion...Copy !req
206. but it's not an indication
that I like you.Copy !req
207. I understand.Copy !req
208. For the Sunday morning radio address
on family values...Copy !req
209. - That's on the schedule?
- Wait.Copy !req
210. - It's a regular Sunday.
- When was it scheduled?Copy !req
211. After your smug, taunting, calamitous
performance on Capitol Beat!Copy !req
212. America for Better Families,
Al Caldwell, Mary Marsh.Copy !req
213. I invited them for coffee
to talk about...Copy !req
214. - What they want to hear.
- Yes.Copy !req
215. Presidents are
rolling in their graves.Copy !req
216. - Come to the meeting and be nice.
- Why?Copy !req
217. - It'll look good.
- Caldwell's friends are bad.Copy !req
218. He should say so for the common good.
Screw politics.Copy !req
219. You don't run social policy!Copy !req
220. I'm in charge of the message
around here!Copy !req
221. The best thing the president can
do from a PR standpoint...Copy !req
222. is to show you the door.Copy !req
223. Come to the meeting.
Be nice, keep your job.Copy !req
224. I'll be there.Copy !req
225. - Oh, take a look at this.
- What's that?Copy !req
226. A kid in the newsroom
clipped that this morning.Copy !req
227. Guess who's coming to town
to consult?Copy !req
228. - She's leasing offices downtown.
- Who's she working for?Copy !req
229. I'm checking it out.Copy !req
230. That's a good picture of her.Copy !req
231. Bruce? Bruce!Copy !req
232. I just got back into the business...Copy !req
233. but I didn't come
by way of a turnip truck.Copy !req
234. Yank me around,
and I'm gonna get cranky.Copy !req
235. Who's your source on 443?
Big fat byline above the fold?Copy !req
236. It's time we play
"What Have You Done For Me Lately?"Copy !req
237. Don't say you're gonna try.
This isn't gym class.Copy !req
238. I said gym class.
Gym class?Copy !req
239. Because it's important
in gym to try.Copy !req
240. It was a simple metaphor.Copy !req
241. You're misinterpreting me
and the senator.Copy !req
242. It's bush-league reporting.Copy !req
243. - You ran a red light.
- Hold on.Copy !req
244. Hustle me, I'll make you cry.Copy !req
245. - License, please.
- Just a second.Copy !req
246. Now, please.Copy !req
247. I'm under arrest.
I have to call you back.Copy !req
248. Two percent in the third quarter.Copy !req
249. The president's gonna check
the revenue analysis...Copy !req
250. and say economists are here
to make astrologers look good.Copy !req
251. Luther, one year from today,
where's the Dow?Copy !req
252. Great. Up 1000.Copy !req
253. - Fred? A year.
- Not good. Down 1000.Copy !req
254. In a year,
one of you will look stupid.Copy !req
255. - Can we go now?
- Go. Get out.Copy !req
256. We have storm systems
in south Florida.Copy !req
257. With any luck,
the Cubans will turn around.Copy !req
258. Think they're tuned
to the National Weather Service?Copy !req
259. What is it?Copy !req
260. - I think we're about to get tagged.
- What?Copy !req
261. - Re-election.
- Not yet.Copy !req
262. Don't let Russell push us around
on Medicare or missiles.Copy !req
263. - You're taking him too seriously.
- His stock is up.Copy !req
264. - Hollywood likes him.
- It'll wait.Copy !req
265. You're Lloyd Russell,
prince of white suburban women...Copy !req
266. middle-class black men,
the Teachers' Union.Copy !req
267. What do you do?Copy !req
268. - Fund exploratory committees.
- Run by?Copy !req
269. - You.
- I already got a job.Copy !req
270. - For now.
- Then who?Copy !req
271. Mandy, if I could get her to leave
her job at Lennox/Chase.Copy !req
272. - You'd be smart.
- Think she'd be interested in his job?Copy !req
273. - Guess what?
- She here?Copy !req
274. - As of today.
- Why?Copy !req
275. Working for Lloyd Russell.Copy !req
276. Margaret! Get me Senator Russell's
office on the phone!Copy !req
277. Same suit you wore yesterday?Copy !req
278. Yeah. You?Copy !req
279. Yeah.Copy !req
280. - I think it's him.
- It is.Copy !req
281. I'm going over there.Copy !req
282. Sorry to interrupt.Copy !req
283. We're in a poli-sci group.Copy !req
284. You're excellent.
Could we have your autograph?Copy !req
285. Mandy Hampton.
She's excellent too.Copy !req
286. - From the campaign.
- You guys used to be a thing?Copy !req
287. - Jenn!
- Sorry.Copy !req
288. She stole money from me.
Thanks for stopping by.Copy !req
289. - Thanks.
- Thanks.Copy !req
290. See you.Copy !req
291. You want to know
if Lloyd's running.Copy !req
292. I don't care.
He's a lightweight.Copy !req
293. - Don't like him?
- No.Copy !req
294. - How will he be on the budget?
- You should get to know him.Copy !req
295. - I have enough friends.
- Not these days.Copy !req
296. - It's not like they were on our side.
- They've waited for you to trip up.Copy !req
297. It's Christmas morning for Mary Marsh.Copy !req
298. You're a Fulbright scholar.
Don't you think...Copy !req
299. that you're about to be fired?Copy !req
300. Do what Toby's telling you to do.Copy !req
301. Did you call him Lloyd?Copy !req
302. - Who?
- Senator Russell.Copy !req
303. - When?
- Just now.Copy !req
304. "You want to know
if Lloyd is running. "Copy !req
305. Unusual, using his first name
to a third party.Copy !req
306. - Third party?
- Get my point?Copy !req
307. - No.
- You're dating Lloyd Russell.Copy !req
308. Yes.Copy !req
309. Wow. That's great.Copy !req
310. - Are you gonna freak out?
- No. Isn't he gay?Copy !req
311. - He's not gay.
- You sure?Copy !req
312. - Very sure.
- He seems effeminate.Copy !req
313. He's very athletic.
Plenty masculine.Copy !req
314. - He's a woman.
- Take me seriously.Copy !req
315. I do.Copy !req
316. The Times is releasing a poll...Copy !req
317. that brings your unfavorables
up to 48%.Copy !req
318. - I hadn't heard.
- You will in an hour.Copy !req
319. - Says who?
- I'm not on your team.Copy !req
320. First you give advice,
now I'm not on your team?Copy !req
321. I want you at fighting weight
when we start.Copy !req
322. - You and Lloyd Russell?
- Yeah.Copy !req
323. Seventeen across.Copy !req
324. It's wrong.
You're spelling his name wrong.Copy !req
325. What's my name?
My name doesn't matter.Copy !req
326. I'm a citizen who relies on
The Times ' crossword for stimulation.Copy !req
327. I've met the man twice.Copy !req
328. I've recommended a pre-emptive Exocet
missile strike against his air force...Copy !req
329. Leo.Copy !req
330. - They hung up on me.
- That's hard to believe.Copy !req
331. - What is it?
- I need someone for...Copy !req
332. - Send Naomi. What else?
- Press leak on A3C3.Copy !req
333. That was Hutchinson. What else?
Please don't ask me about Josh.Copy !req
334. - I was asking...
- I don't know.Copy !req
335. You know the president
better than me.Copy !req
336. I've known him 40 years.Copy !req
337. Any given day, there's no predicting
what he'll choose to care about.Copy !req
338. I'm sorry. I'm late.Copy !req
339. The assault stats are wrong.Copy !req
340. They came from your office.Copy !req
341. - You still can't use them.
- Why can't I use them?Copy !req
342. - The 76-year-old grandma.
- Carr and Gilmore come back.Copy !req
343. Who's the grandma?Copy !req
344. Every day, 17,000 Americans
fire a gun...Copy !req
345. That is untrue.Copy !req
346. Including a 76-year-old...Copy !req
347. who defended herself
against an intruder.Copy !req
348. A grandmother doesn't
defend herself with an AK-47...Copy !req
349. unless she's defending herself
against Turkish rebels.Copy !req
350. - You know my assistant, Cathy.
- Hi.Copy !req
351. I need you a second.Copy !req
352. Call me tonight.Copy !req
353. - Leo's wife called.
- She hates me. What did I do?Copy !req
354. You hit on her at a party.Copy !req
355. - I meant, why did she call?
- She wants...Copy !req
356. For the last time,
I didn't know who she was!Copy !req
357. - Anyway...
- Most women would be flattered.Copy !req
358. - Leo was touched.
- What did she want?Copy !req
359. Her daughter's class
is getting a tour.Copy !req
360. She wants you to do it.Copy !req
361. - I can't.
- They wrote essays.Copy !req
362. I don't know anything
about the White House.Copy !req
363. - You want to tell her that?
- Let this be a national emergency.Copy !req
364. - Cashmere Escorts.
- You paged me.Copy !req
365. - Who is this?
- Sam Seaborn.Copy !req
366. Sorry, there's been a mistake.Copy !req
367. - Who's this?
- Cashmere Escort Service.Copy !req
368. - Okay. Page me.
- Where are you going?Copy !req
369. Nowhere.
Page me and punch in my number.Copy !req
370. - You switched pagers with someone?
- A woman's about to call me.Copy !req
371. - You paged me?
- Laurie.Copy !req
372. - Who's this?
- It's Sam. Sam Seaborn.Copy !req
373. - You called me.
- Actually, you called me.Copy !req
374. That's because you have my pager
and I have yours.Copy !req
375. - Oh.
- Yeah.Copy !req
376. Can I come by and see you real quick?Copy !req
377. - Yeah.
- Thanks. Good.Copy !req
378. - Four column inches above the fold.
- You're wrong.Copy !req
379. I don't have time to answer questions.Copy !req
380. That won't stop you from asking.Copy !req
381. Has the president reacted to Josh?Copy !req
382. None that I'm aware of.Copy !req
383. I'll give you time when I've got it.Copy !req
384. - They picking up the scent?
- Billy is.Copy !req
385. - Josh is coming to the coffee.
- Keep him cool.Copy !req
386. The president's deeply religious.
I don't need to tell you.Copy !req
387. His work with the Baptists,
the Catholic League.Copy !req
388. And my church.Copy !req
389. He also spent months
traveling around the country...Copy !req
390. discouraging abortion.Copy !req
391. Hang on. He never said...Copy !req
392. It's not the government's
place to legislate...Copy !req
393. but he plays his role
as a moral leader.Copy !req
394. Something which cost him dearly
in the campaign.Copy !req
395. Why does he demonize us as a group?Copy !req
396. Your group has plenty of demons.Copy !req
397. Every group has demons.Copy !req
398. I know, I'm in the Democratic Party.Copy !req
399. Everyone in the Christian Right
isn't the same.Copy !req
400. When you stand that close
to Marsh and Van Dyke...Copy !req
401. they paint you
with the same brush.Copy !req
402. I need them for muscle.Copy !req
403. No, you don't,
but you're in a tough spot.Copy !req
404. - I'm not looking for a holy war.
- I know, Al.Copy !req
405. We can keep this from escalating
beyond a woman being angry...Copy !req
406. at getting her hair messed up.Copy !req
407. There you go.
It wasn't a little deal.Copy !req
408. You need to take me seriously.Copy !req
409. You don't think
we take this seriously?Copy !req
410. Yesterday, the president
ordered me to fire Josh Lyman.Copy !req
411. I'm trying to talk him out of it.Copy !req
412. He'll be here in 10 minutes.
Who knows if Josh still has a job?Copy !req
413. How much more seriously
can we take it?Copy !req
414. - It's regrettable.
- Yes, it is.Copy !req
415. Anyway, I'm glad Toby organized
your meeting this afternoon.Copy !req
416. So am I.Copy !req
417. - Can I come in?
- Sure.Copy !req
418. - Nice apartment.
- You saw it last night.Copy !req
419. I really like it.
It makes very good use of space.Copy !req
420. The ladle on the pegboards.Copy !req
421. It didn't come with the apartment.
It's mine.Copy !req
422. - Right.
- Yes.Copy !req
423. - Can I ask...?
- Am I a hooker?Copy !req
424. What I was going to say is this:Copy !req
425. In addition to being a law student
and part-time bartender...Copy !req
426. are you what I am certain would be
a very high-priced call girl?Copy !req
427. I make no judgments.
But with my job...Copy !req
428. Yeah.Copy !req
429. - Yes?
- Yes.Copy !req
430. I'm sorry. I should have told you.Copy !req
431. - I wanted you to like me.
- I do.Copy !req
432. I have to go.Copy !req
433. My pager.Copy !req
434. Thanks.Copy !req
435. - I don't know how often you get up...
- Sam, go.Copy !req
436. You don't know who I am.Copy !req
437. There are people
who'd pay to try to...Copy !req
438. I know.Copy !req
439. Go. It's okay.Copy !req
440. Reverend Caldwell,
if you would step in here.Copy !req
441. Excuse me. We'll be a minute.
Everyone have a seat.Copy !req
442. Everybody, nicely and quietly
take a seat.Copy !req
443. - Put it on.
- No!Copy !req
444. You've worn those clothes
for 31 hours.Copy !req
445. I'm not sprucing up for them.Copy !req
446. All the girls think you look
really hot in this shirt.Copy !req
447. Bonnie? Tell Toby
he's changing his shirt.Copy !req
448. Right.Copy !req
449. - You're late.
- I'm having a weird day.Copy !req
450. The class is waiting
in the Roosevelt Room.Copy !req
451. - I don't know what to say.
- Tell them about the building.Copy !req
452. I don't know about the building.Copy !req
453. - Fake it.
- I can't.Copy !req
454. Which one's Leo's daughter?
What does she look like?Copy !req
455. - I don't know.
- Thank you for all your help.Copy !req
456. Sure.Copy !req
457. - Sorry I'm late.
- Mr. Seaborn, Mallory O'Brian.Copy !req
458. These fourth-graders...Copy !req
459. wrote essays
on visiting the White House.Copy !req
460. That's great.
Why don't we get started?Copy !req
461. I'm Sam Seaborn,
the deputy communications director.Copy !req
462. What does that mean, exactly?
I'm a counselor to the president...Copy !req
463. on domestic matters,
not security related.Copy !req
464. I work with the communications
director and press secretary...Copy !req
465. to get our message out
through the media.Copy !req
466. While my role here is seen
as politically skewed...Copy !req
467. remember, it's not the DNC,
but your taxes that pay my salary.Copy !req
468. So I work for you,
whether you voted for us or not.Copy !req
469. How about some history?Copy !req
470. Sure. I graduated law school
and started at Dewey Ballantine...Copy !req
471. Actually, I meant a history
of the building.Copy !req
472. - The White House?
- Yes.Copy !req
473. The White House was built
several years ago...Copy !req
474. mostly, if I'm not mistaken,
out of cement.Copy !req
475. The room we're in,
the Roosevelt Room, is famous.Copy !req
476. It is named after our 18th president,
Franklin Delano Roosevelt.Copy !req
477. The chairs were made
from a pirate ship...Copy !req
478. captured during the...Copy !req
479. Kids, I need to talk with Mr. Seaborn.
Sit tight for a second.Copy !req
480. Hi.Copy !req
481. Are you a moron?Copy !req
482. - In this area, yes.
- The 18th president was Grant.Copy !req
483. This room was named for Theodore.Copy !req
484. - There's a painting of him in there.
- I should've figured it out.Copy !req
485. I can speak with authority on many
things, but not about the White House.Copy !req
486. The deputy communications director
can't talk about the White House?Copy !req
487. - It's ironic.
- I don't believe it.Copy !req
488. Can you tell me which one of those
kids is Leo McGarry's daughter?Copy !req
489. - Why?
- If I make sure she's having fun...Copy !req
490. it might make my life easier.Copy !req
491. These children worked hard.Copy !req
492. I don't want
to make your life easier.Copy !req
493. Please believe me when I say
I'm a nice guy having a bad day.Copy !req
494. The Times says many Americans feel
the White House is unfocused.Copy !req
495. There's footage of the president
riding into a tree.Copy !req
496. We're fishing for Cubans...Copy !req
497. but the governor of Florida
wants a blockade.Copy !req
498. My friend is about to get fired.Copy !req
499. And I accidentally
slept with a prostitute.Copy !req
500. Please tell me which one of those kids
is my boss's daughter.Copy !req
501. That would be me.Copy !req
502. - You?
- Yes.Copy !req
503. Leo's daughter's fourth-grade class.Copy !req
504. This is bad on so many levels.Copy !req
505. She'll try and bait you.Copy !req
506. - Lloyd Russell. That'll last.
- Listen to me.Copy !req
507. - They want you to sound arrogant.
- That's easy.Copy !req
508. We apologize.
We're running a bit late today.Copy !req
509. Good afternoon.Copy !req
510. - How's the president?
- Mild sprain. He's fine.Copy !req
511. John Van Dyke.Copy !req
512. Everybody, sit.Copy !req
513. I'm happy you could be here today.Copy !req
514. The president makes
a usual Sunday radio address.Copy !req
515. - In a few weeks, he's...
- If I could interrupt.Copy !req
516. Christian and family-oriented
organizations...Copy !req
517. while embraced by many Americans...Copy !req
518. have been met with hostility
by their government.Copy !req
519. Yesterday morning
on a television program...Copy !req
520. that contempt was given a voice
and a face and a name.Copy !req
521. - I'm referring to you.
- Glad you brought it up.Copy !req
522. I'm surprised.
I counted you as a friend.Copy !req
523. And I'm honored by that.Copy !req
524. When I spoke
on the program yesterday...Copy !req
525. I didn't speak for the president.
That's important.Copy !req
526. Please allow me to apologize.Copy !req
527. My remarks were insulting.
I went for a cheap laugh.Copy !req
528. Anybody willing to debate ideas
deserves more than a punch line.Copy !req
529. Mary, I apologize.Copy !req
530. Good, then.Copy !req
531. Let's deal.Copy !req
532. - I'm sorry?
- What do we get?Copy !req
533. - For what?
- Insulting millions.Copy !req
534. - Like Josh said...
- I heard. What do we get?Copy !req
535. - An apology.
- Sunday's address.Copy !req
536. School prayer or pornography.
Pick.Copy !req
537. - School prayer or porn?
- On every corner.Copy !req
538. - I know.
- Condoms in the schools.Copy !req
539. - What?
- Condoms in schools.Copy !req
540. - That's a problem.
- What?Copy !req
541. They reduce the risk
of teen pregnancy and AIDS.Copy !req
542. So does abstinence.Copy !req
543. A teenager sees a condom,
he turns to lust.Copy !req
544. Show him a lug wrench, and he...Copy !req
545. School prayer, pornography, condoms.
What's it gonna be?Copy !req
546. We're not prepared to make a deal
right now.Copy !req
547. Sure we are. Mary...Copy !req
548. You're cleaning out your desk
at the end of the day.Copy !req
549. I'll negotiate with Toby,
if it's all the same.Copy !req
550. It was only a matter of time.
That New York sense of humor...Copy !req
551. They think they're smarter.Copy !req
552. But nobody else does.Copy !req
553. I'm actually from Connecticut.
But the point is...Copy !req
554. She meant Jewish.Copy !req
555. "New York sense of humor. "Copy !req
556. - She meant you and me.
- Let's not even go there.Copy !req
557. There's been an apology.
Let's move on.Copy !req
558. I want to know why we hear so much
about amendments...Copy !req
559. but not the Commandments.Copy !req
560. - I don't like what I'm accused of.
- That's tough.Copy !req
561. First Commandment is,
"Honor thy father. "Copy !req
562. No, it isn't. If we're going through
this preposterous exercise...Copy !req
563. we're gonna get
the Commandments right!Copy !req
564. It's the third commandment.Copy !req
565. - And the first?
- "I am the Lord your God.Copy !req
566. Thou shalt worship
no other god before me. "Copy !req
567. Those were the days.Copy !req
568. - Good afternoon, Mr. President.
- Al.Copy !req
569. - What do you got here, C.J.?
- We've got some hot tempers.Copy !req
570. - I'm John Van Dyke.
- Yes. Reverend?Copy !req
571. May I ask you a question?Copy !req
572. If children can buy pornography
anywhere for $5...Copy !req
573. isn't that too high a price
to pay for free speech?Copy !req
574. - Really?
- However...Copy !req
575. I do think $5 is too high a price
for pornography.Copy !req
576. - Why don't we sit down?
- No.Copy !req
577. They won't be staying long.
Some coffee, Mr. Lewis?Copy !req
578. I've asked you to denounce the
practices of a group...Copy !req
579. called the "Lambs of God. "Copy !req
580. - It's not up to me.
- Crap. It is up to you.Copy !req
581. My wife never wants me
to do anything while I'm upset.Copy !req
582. Thank you, Mr. Lewis.Copy !req
583. Years ago,
I came home from a very bad day.Copy !req
584. I say I'm going for a drive.Copy !req
585. I get in the car, put it in reverse,
and pull out full speed.Copy !req
586. But I forgot to open the garage door.Copy !req
587. Abbey said not to drive angry.
She was right.Copy !req
588. She said not to get on that bicycle
while I was upset, but I did.Copy !req
589. I was about as angry
as I've ever been.Copy !req
590. Seems my granddaughter had given
an interview in a teen magazine.Copy !req
591. Between movie stars and makeup...Copy !req
592. she talked about
a woman's right to choose.Copy !req
593. Annie, all of 12,
has always been precocious.Copy !req
594. She's got a good head
on her shoulders.Copy !req
595. Her mother called me in tears.
I said, "Elizabeth, what's wrong?"Copy !req
596. She said, "It's Annie. "Copy !req
597. I love my family, I've read my Bible
cover to cover, so you tell me:Copy !req
598. From what part of Scripture did the
Lambs of God draw their inspiration...Copy !req
599. when they sent
my granddaughter a doll...Copy !req
600. with a knife
stuck through its throat?Copy !req
601. You'll denounce
these people publicly.Copy !req
602. Until you do, you can all get
your fat asses out of my White House.Copy !req
603. Show these people out.Copy !req
604. - I believe we can find the door.
- Find it now.Copy !req
605. - We'll fix this, Leo.
- See that you do.Copy !req
606. - I was the calmest person in the room.
- Way to stay cool.Copy !req
607. I won't auction off
the Bill of Rights.Copy !req
608. You almost hit her.Copy !req
609. - She called us New York Jews.
- I'm from Connecticut.Copy !req
610. You, C.J., were brilliant.Copy !req
611. I liked the part
where you said nothing at all.Copy !req
612. All I could think about was
Russell and your girlfriend.Copy !req
613. - Mandy and Lloyd Russell?
- "Hello, Mr. President!Copy !req
614. Did you have a nice trip, sir?
How's the ankle, sir?"Copy !req
615. We've been taking a little break,
thinking about our personal lives...Copy !req
616. or thinking about keeping our jobs.Copy !req
617. It's not a bad idea to take a break
every now and then.Copy !req
618. I know how hard you all work.Copy !req
619. One time Annie came to me
with this press clipping.Copy !req
620. Some theologians in South America
were excited...Copy !req
621. because a little girl in Chile
sliced a tomato...Copy !req
622. and the inside flesh had actually
formed a perfect rosary.Copy !req
623. The theologians thought this was
a very impressive girl.Copy !req
624. Annie commented that she thought
it was a very impressive tomato.Copy !req
625. Don't know why I thought of that.Copy !req
626. Intelligence reports
1200 Cubans left Havana this morning.Copy !req
627. Approximately 700 turned back
due to weather.Copy !req
628. Some 350 are missing
and presumed dead.Copy !req
629. 137 have been taken into custody
in Miami and are seeking asylum.Copy !req
630. They came through a storm.Copy !req
631. The ones that didn't die want a better
life, and they want it here.Copy !req
632. Talk about impressive.Copy !req
633. My point is this:
Break's over.Copy !req
634. - Thank you, Mr. President.
- Thank you, sir.Copy !req
635. "Too busy being indicted
for tax fraud"?Copy !req
636. Don't ever do it again.Copy !req
637. Yes, sir.Copy !req
638. Mrs. Landingham, what's next?Copy !req
639. Thomas and the majority leader
would like a conference.Copy !req
640. A group's assembling for a photo op.Copy !req
641. At 7:00, you have cocktails...Copy !req