1. Joe, I'm gonna need
three copies of this.Copy !req
2. - You want me to go out there and do that?
- Check out this site.Copy !req
3. Go ahead.Copy !req
4. Where is he?!Copy !req
5. - Where is Venture?
- Venture?Copy !req
6. Dude, no, stop!
There's been a mistake!Copy !req
7. What now?Copy !req
8. This isn't the secret Venture compound.
It's your accountant's office.Copy !req
9. What? Are you kidding?
That was, like, my best entrance ever!Copy !req
10. It was excellent.Copy !req
11. - Very impressive.
- This sucks!Copy !req
12. Wrong address. Wrong address.
Everybody back in the cocoon.Copy !req
13. - Should we...
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
14. Take the pens and the Post-its
and some, copy paper.Copy !req
15. You always need copy paper.
And get that security tape!Copy !req
16. I want a Quicktime
of my minty-fresh entrance...Copy !req
17. posted on my homepage by tomorrow!Copy !req
18. Who's a pretty pussy cat?Copy !req
19. Who's a pretty,
pretty pussy cat?Copy !req
20. Yes. You are.Copy !req
21. No, no! Just calm... Don't!Copy !req
22. OK, fine, go!
Just go!Copy !req
23. Mr. Venture, you're back.
How was Japan?Copy !req
24. Fan-freaking-tastic.
How'd you know?Copy !req
25. - Call it a hunch.
- Is that what you call it?Copy !req
26. No. I call it an Oni.
Actually, a Japanese demon.Copy !req
27. So you can see it. Thank you!Copy !req
28. Brock said it was the diet pills.
Can you get rid of it?Copy !req
29. Yes, yes.
I have just the stuff!Copy !req
30. These Oni are usually after
some form of retribution.Copy !req
31. So what did you do?
Violate a sacred temple? No. Let me guess.Copy !req
32. You relieved yourself
in someone's zen garden.Copy !req
33. Here we are!Copy !req
34. One demon extraction
coming right up!Copy !req
35. What the hell?Copy !req
36. - Wily one, this demon of yours.
- Damn it!Copy !req
37. Perhaps we should have snuck up on it.Copy !req
38. Nice. It was perfectly content
to just tag along until you pissed it off.Copy !req
39. Surprise! You don't know
what the hell you're doing.Copy !req
40. The Tempest Tongs
should have worked.Copy !req
41. I must consult a higher power!Copy !req
42. Wait here while I go
to my daughter's closet.Copy !req
43. OK. I've reviewed the video
of the attack on Venture.Copy !req
44. What happened?
Why did we suck?Copy !req
45. How can we not suck
in the future?Copy !req
46. One answer pops up every time.
Weaponry. 21?Copy !req
47. Gentlemen,
I give you the Peda-Blade!Copy !req
48. Two razor-sharp blades
menacingly attached to...Copy !req
49. not the end of a skinny arm...Copy !req
50. but the end of a long, fat leg...Copy !req
51. giving us both
the reach and the edge...Copy !req
52. or should I say two edges?Copy !req
53. But we raided
the wrong address!Copy !req
54. We need real planning, not...
What? Figure skates?Copy !req
55. Look. I am trying. This is really tough.
I know I'm not Dr. Girl...Copy !req
56. - Do not say her name!
- Forgive me...Copy !req
57. but zee problem is one of planning,
not one of armament.Copy !req
58. Mr. Zee Monarch
already has a dazzling armory.Copy !req
59. What he needs is a strategist.Copy !req
60. A man of his prestige cannot simply
go after an enemy all villy-nilly.Copy !req
61. He can't give an enema
to free Willy? What?Copy !req
62. Shut up, 21. You might learn
something from this guy.Copy !req
63. What you need
is a second in command...Copy !req
64. who understands the intricacies
of organized villainy.Copy !req
65. - Zis I could offer you.
- Perfect! You're hired, Number?Copy !req
66. Number Killinger,
Dr. Henry Killinger.Copy !req
67. And this is my Magic Murder Bag.Copy !req
68. Come on, Deano! You are, like,
the worst wheelman ever.Copy !req
69. We're actually moving slower
than when you were parallel-parking.Copy !req
70. Gun it! Look for some jumps!
Try to get her up on two wheels!Copy !req
71. Get something cool going, will you?Copy !req
72. Don't distract the driver.Copy !req
73. - Ten and two, ten and two.
- Hey. What's that up ahead?Copy !req
74. I didn't know we got that much traffic
inside the compound.Copy !req
75. I get it. I'll bet Brock set this up,
you know, to test us.Copy !req
76. OK, Mr. Handbook,
so what do we do?Copy !req
77. We should pull over
to the shoulder.Copy !req
78. I'll set up the road flares
and try to flag down a state trooper.Copy !req
79. You see if anyone's been injured.
Wait! K-turn.Copy !req
80. Hank!
Roll, Hank!Copy !req
81. Tuck and roll!
Protect your limbs!Copy !req
82. Will you come on?Copy !req
83. Holy smokes!
Hey, lady. Are you OK?Copy !req
84. Don't move her!
You're not supposed to...Copy !req
85. See?Copy !req
86. Master?!Copy !req
87. Master, are you here?
I have need of your counsel.Copy !req
88. Orpheus, you'll love this. Check me out.
I'm Catherine the Great's horse...Copy !req
89. to teach you a lesson
about biting off more than you can chew.Copy !req
90. My partially lovely assistant, Miss
Manyface, will play the part of Catherine.Copy !req
91. - Hi.
- Enough with the chatter.Copy !req
92. Get under there. Don't wince!Copy !req
93. Master, far be it from me to question
the relevance of your symbolism...Copy !req
94. but I'm fairly certain the whole horse
thing was an urban legend.Copy !req
95. What do you think?
Pretty sweet, huh?Copy !req
96. - This floor totally lights up.
- If you don't mind me saying...Copy !req
97. you seem to be a tad overstaffed in
your control room. You could reassign...Copy !req
98. Say no more!
You're right again, #2.Copy !req
99. Him and... the dead guy next to him.Copy !req
100. This place is all creepy since that mumbly
guy just magically showed up.Copy !req
101. Totally!
And those new Black Guard dicks...Copy !req
102. took the Tekken 3 game
out of the lounge!Copy !req
103. Those guys are wicked spooky.Copy !req
104. How unfair is it
that they get the cool uniforms?Copy !req
105. - I'm still wearing an orange jerkin.
- Jerkin...Copy !req
106. One of you little chatter bugs
want to pop open the Venture files?Copy !req
107. Killinger needs
to be brought up to speed.Copy !req
108. - Yeah. Those files are classified.
- By whom?Copy !req
109. By you.Copy !req
110. OK. Great.
Well, now they're unclassified.Copy !req
111. Boys!
Where the hell?Copy !req
112. Boys, come in.Copy !req
113. You seen the boys? They were supposed
to be practicing for their road test...Copy !req
114. but looks like
they forgot the car part.Copy !req
115. What are you guys... into there?Copy !req
116. Orpheus is making me follow
that magic head thing I told you about.Copy !req
117. We're very close
to divining its will!Copy !req
118. He's got you doing it now.
You guys are cute together.Copy !req
119. I'm gonna go look for the boys.Copy !req
120. Story of my life.Copy !req
121. It stopped. It seems interested
in this automobile.Copy !req
122. Tell me. Is it associated
with some recent sin of yours?Copy !req
123. I wish! I can't remember the last time
I got lucky in that car.Copy !req
124. Unless you count the dollar
I found under the seat.Copy !req
125. Can't see why the beast would want...
What are you doing?Copy !req
126. That wasn't so hard, was it?
Problem solved.Copy !req
127. No, Mr. Venture.
You're still bound to the beast...Copy !req
128. by the gossamer,
invisible threads of psychic...Copy !req
129. Mother of God!
Help!Copy !req
130. I suggest we get in
and see where it takes us.Copy !req
131. What if it wants
to go back to Japan?Copy !req
132. Zee Venture problem
is very volatile.Copy !req
133. Ve must approach it with caution...Copy !req
134. but first ve need
to address our domestic issues.Copy !req
135. The floating cocoon
is in bad need of...Copy !req
136. The cocoon's fine.
I think the problem is you.Copy !req
137. He's right. Yeah.Copy !req
138. Everybody just thinks you're so great,
but you're just so not!Copy !req
139. - Who do you think you are?
- Come on.Copy !req
140. This guy just waltzes in here
with his huge baby-bearing hips...Copy !req
141. and he starts changing everything.Copy !req
142. Zat's not fair.
I never chose my build.Copy !req
143. I can't believe you guys are falling
for this sheep in wolf's clothing.Copy !req
144. He's trying to destroy us from the inside.
How can you not see that?Copy !req
145. Nobody talks to my hot,
new #2 like that!Copy !req
146. Black Guards, bring him
to the Chamber of A Thousand Torments!Copy !req
147. There you may deliver
torments 1 through 980.Copy !req
148. Killinger, I'm gonna
let you do torment 993...Copy !req
149. 'cause you seem
to have bigger thumbs than me.Copy !req
150. Forgive me, but your methods
of discipline may be too Draconian.Copy !req
151. Give me a moment along
vith Mr. Henchman #24.Copy !req
152. I know I can change his mind.Copy !req
153. Vait.
I almost forgot.Copy !req
154. My Magic Murder Bag.Copy !req
155. We've stopped.Copy !req
156. - What is this place?
- A cheap motel.Copy !req
157. Perhaps it wants us to stay here
and rest until morning.Copy !req
158. Wait. I know what you're doing.
You're trying to get me in the sack!Copy !req
159. I beg your pardon!Copy !req
160. No wonder nobody
but you can see that head.Copy !req
161. How dare?Copy !req
162. The tights, the jewelry,
always tagging along.Copy !req
163. "Let me get my big gay cloak,
and I'll join you!"Copy !req
164. - I'm trying to help you!
- Help me out of my speedsuit.Copy !req
165. Jock Rock my ass!
Listen to those lyrics, man.Copy !req
166. It's all about love and longing.Copy !req
167. Yes, and hobbits, too.Copy !req
168. Look. It's a metaphor.
They wrote about a lot of other stuff.Copy !req
169. Why am I arguing with a robot?Copy !req
170. Right up ahead.Copy !req
171. Don't think
we're done talking about this.Copy !req
172. Oh, no.Copy !req
173. Thank God.Copy !req
174. Crap. Myra's back.Copy !req
175. Well, isn't this new and different?Copy !req
176. - Hey, Dean.
- What?Copy !req
177. - I smell pee-pee.
- Well, what are you looking at me for?Copy !req
178. Dean, did you get pee-pee
scared again?Copy !req
179. No. Shut up.
Where are we this time?Copy !req
180. Hush, little darling,
don't say a wordCopy !req
181. Mama's gonna buy you
a mockingbirdCopy !req
182. OK. That is creepy.Copy !req
183. And if that mockingbird
don't singCopy !req
184. You're up. You can relax.Copy !req
185. The nightmare is finally over.Copy !req
186. No, it isn't.Copy !req
187. Hanky, my little,
snotty-puggy-dinky.Copy !req
188. Dean, Dean, Dean, Jimmy Dean,
Jimmy Dean sausages.Copy !req
189. You're safe now.Copy !req
190. You're with mommy!Copy !req
191. I have to bring
the prisoner his medication.Copy !req
192. - Give me the medication. I'll do it.
- OK, but...Copy !req
193. you have to administer it to him.
It's a suppository.Copy !req
194. You know, it's up-the-butt medicine.Copy !req
195. Oh, don't knock or anything.Copy !req
196. It's not like I live
with eighty guys and no women...Copy !req
197. so there is no chance
I'm masturbating.Copy !req
198. Chill. I thought I was rescuing you.Copy !req
199. What did he do to you?
What's in his Magic Murder Bag?Copy !req
200. Dude, have you even talked to him?Copy !req
201. He's great!
He's like Mr. Belvedere.Copy !req
202. He knows nothing about honor
or living by the sword.Copy !req
203. - He's not like us.
- What are you talking about?Copy !req
204. Seriously. That Killinger guy
has brainwashed the whole cocoon.Copy !req
205. Man, will you just talk to him already?
He's amazing!Copy !req
206. He cured my herpes.Copy !req
207. I bet he could even help you
with your problem.Copy !req
208. He's already got to you.
Don't touch me! Stay back.Copy !req
209. - Stay back, pod-person!
- All right. Whatever.Copy !req
210. You're not our mom!Copy !req
211. - You just can't be!
- On account of the crazy.Copy !req
212. Search your feelings, boys.
You know it to be true, so true.Copy !req
213. Funny how it seems always in time
but never in line for dreams.Copy !req
214. OK. We're losing her again.Copy !req
215. I bought a ticket to the world,
but now I've come back again!Copy !req
216. If you're supposed to be our mom,
then why you got us tied up?Copy !req
217. People only do that
when they want to kill us.Copy !req
218. Or hold us for ransom.Copy !req
219. - Or touch us inappropriately.
- What? When? That never happ...Copy !req
220. Sergeant Hatred?
What? Did you block that out?Copy !req
221. Wait. You were passed out from the wine.
Most of it was awful. Trust me.Copy !req
222. This is no life for my sweet boys.
I would have never, ever...Copy !req
223. Rusty, why have you forsaken me?!Copy !req
224. Have I ever told you
how mommy and daddy met?Copy !req
225. Eat web!Copy !req
226. What are you?Copy !req
227. Black Guards!Copy !req
228. He's covered my Magic Murder Bag
mit silly string.Copy !req
229. You can silence me,
but there will be others.Copy !req
230. Semper fidelis tyrannosaurus!Copy !req
231. It's "Sic semper tyrranis."Copy !req
232. You said,
"Always faithful terrible lizard."Copy !req
233. I did? Cool!Copy !req
234. I've got ice and snacksCopy !req
235. And here's some Mercurochrome
for you road burns.Copy !req
236. Thanks.
Sorry about earlier.Copy !req
237. I'm probably just still jet-lagged
and, you know...Copy !req
238. floating demon head and all.Copy !req
239. Apology accepted.Copy !req
240. Just stay on your side
of the room... tiger.Copy !req
241. Yes.Copy !req
242. You... You want to go
halfsies on a skin flick?Copy !req
243. 'Kay.Copy !req
244. You might want to let me go.
Fair warning.Copy !req
245. 'Cause when I get scared,
I get super gassy.Copy !req
246. Once I threw up on a kid
sitting in front of me in a tilt-a-whirl.Copy !req
247. Don't forget when you passed out
on The Monarch's cat.Copy !req
248. Yeah. I killed Mr. Mostly Mittens.
Oh, my God!Copy !req
249. You're 24!Copy !req
250. You're still under the hypnospell.
OK. This is for your own good.Copy !req
251. Look into my eyes.
You're extremely relaxed...Copy !req
252. and you feel the urge to let me go.Copy !req
253. You know in your heart that I will
rescue you and save the whole cocoon.Copy !req
254. Will you knock it off?
I'm just taking you to your room.Copy !req
255. And that is what you will tell them.
Your limbs are getting heavy.Copy !req
256. So heavy. Sleep.Copy !req
257. Sleep. Sl...Copy !req
258. Crap! I fell on my cellular pho...Copy !req
259. Sleepy, so sleepy!Copy !req
260. He was my first job,
fresh out of the OSI academy.Copy !req
261. I was still just a girl.
What did I know?Copy !req
262. "Never let your guard down,
never let him out of your sight...Copy !req
263. "never fall in love."Copy !req
264. That's what they taught me.
But I couldn't help myself!Copy !req
265. Your father...Copy !req
266. I spent 24 hours a day with him.Copy !req
267. First, there were casual glances...Copy !req
268. the occasional brush of the hand,
clever innuendo.Copy !req
269. It was inevitable.Copy !req
270. Something would happen
sooner or later.Copy !req
271. Then the pleasure stopped...Copy !req
272. No, no. It was not ooky!Copy !req
273. It was the most wonderful,
passionate night of either of our lives!Copy !req
274. And nine months later...Copy !req
275. you two perfect wet,
little pink kittens came into the world...Copy !req
276. from out of my body.Copy !req
277. Oh, double eww!Copy !req
278. I just didn't know what else to do.
He's taken over the whole cocoon...Copy !req
279. and you're our last hope. Oh, this?
This is the new Monarch Mobile.Copy !req
280. That's how bad it's gotten.
It doesn't even burn nitrous.Copy !req
281. It's, like, a family car.
My God!Copy !req
282. Once he painted wings on it
with water-based paint...Copy !req
283. so, when it rained, it dripped off
and looked like we tie-dyed it...Copy !req
284. like we took it to Magic Mountain
and did that spin-art thing on it.Copy !req
285. - You remember spin-art?
- Yes, I remember spin-art.Copy !req
286. - Spin-art was so cool.
- Just drive.Copy !req
287. Thanks, buddy.Copy !req
288. You ain't much in a fight,
but you're good at rescue and recovery.Copy !req
289. Yeah, I thought she was gone for good
after the last time too...Copy !req
290. but some crazy people won't stay
locked up, you know what I mean?Copy !req
291. That's beautiful, H.E.L.P. ER.
What was that, Shel Silverstein?Copy !req
292. Well, I don't think Maya Angelou
was talking about this chick.Copy !req
293. She's as deadly as they come...Copy !req
294. and if she hurts those boys again,
I'll take her down permanently this time.Copy !req
295. No, not Maya Angelou.Copy !req
296. Just keep scanning
those tire tracks with your infrared, OK?Copy !req
297. OK, OK!
I'm up damn it!Copy !req
298. Your father had me locked away,
locked me away, away...Copy !req
299. so he could have you all to himself,
so he could fill you with his lies!Copy !req
300. He never once
told you about me, has he?Copy !req
301. Not in all your 19 years!Copy !req
302. - We're 16.
- You see?Copy !req
303. See what, crazy lady?
Make sense!Copy !req
304. He's brainwashed you...Copy !req
305. with those lie machines
he makes you sleep in.Copy !req
306. That's why I had to kidnap you.
To save you!Copy !req
307. And here are
your brothers and sisters.Copy !req
308. They're hungry.Copy !req
309. Oh, my babies!
You must be starved, too.Copy !req
310. Let mama feed you, my thirsty babies.
Let mama love you!Copy !req
311. May I help you?Copy !req
312. Isn't it a bit early
for a costume party?Copy !req
313. Why, you throwing one, Dracula?Copy !req
314. My friend and I would like to check out.Copy !req
315. I feel the spirit...Copy !req
316. Mr. Venture!
I could use some assistance!Copy !req
317. I can't believe I'm hanging out with you.
I always thought we'd get along.Copy !req
318. You were kind of distant,
which is cool, you know. That's fine.Copy !req
319. You know what rules?
That outfit rules.Copy !req
320. Dude, I just copped an accidental feel.
Wicked sorry.Copy !req
321. - What are you doing? That's alarmed.
- Yes. I know.Copy !req
322. I'm the one who installed it.
Now, shut up and follow my lead.Copy !req
323. Well.Copy !req
324. So you as good at fighting
as you are at talking?Copy !req
325. Hell, no. Look at me!
I'm more of a weapons expert.Copy !req
326. That is so excellent.Copy !req
327. I like to do that, too. It's soft.Copy !req
328. Do not follow me.
Just stay here and do... whatever.Copy !req
329. OK.Copy !req
330. Yeah. I am totally falling for her.Copy !req
331. Thank the maker! I've been holding
that back for, like, two hours.Copy !req
332. Safety first.
Bukley buck buck.Copy !req
333. - Daddy!
- Hello, boys. I see you've met Myra.Copy !req
334. Did she tell you how
she burnt down our house yet?Copy !req
335. No hellos for me?
Now, Rusty...Copy !req
336. is that any way
to treat your forever girl?Copy !req
337. Dean, tell this lunatic that my lawyer has
advised me not to communicate with her.Copy !req
338. My dad's lawyer has advised him
not to communicate with you.Copy !req
339. Stay close.Copy !req
340. Any of your weapons still work?Copy !req
341. All right, well...
Keep your helicopter blades on...Copy !req
342. wave your arms around, squeal a lot.
That might be scary.Copy !req
343. Damn it!Copy !req
344. All right.
We're doing this.Copy !req
345. Ten and two, ten and two.Copy !req
346. My muse is callingCopy !req
347. Everyone OK?Copy !req
348. - Everyone except mommy.
- She'll be all right.Copy !req
349. - I feel like Catherine the Great.
- Where's Dr. "O"?Copy !req
350. They smell my cat.Copy !req
351. Wait, wait, wait.
So we never attack Venture?Copy !req
352. Zere is no need.Copy !req
353. My plans for a summit
are both simple und elegant.Copy !req
354. And completely retarded!Copy !req
355. Did you just mumble something
about a summit?Copy !req
356. That is not crushing Venture!
You don't get it.Copy !req
357. - We have to...
- You should move.Copy !req
358. You don't want her to land on you
when she falls from zee ceiling.Copy !req
359. When who calls for a healing? What?Copy !req
360. - What the hell is she doing here?
- She has come to rescue you.Copy !req
361. - From what?
- From loneliness, you silly-billy.Copy !req
362. - Who the hell are you?
- Dr. Henry Killinger. Vait.Copy !req
363. Here. Give these
to zee lovely woman...Copy !req
364. and zis is for you.
Mr. Zee Monarch's journal.Copy !req
365. His love for you
is spelled out on every page...Copy !req
366. and there are
some very nice drawings, also.Copy !req
367. - That's private!
- Love is not private.Copy !req
368. Love is to be shared.Copy !req
369. I have locked you in.Copy !req
370. Neither of you may leave
until you have reached compromise.Copy !req
371. Good luck,
and may love show you zee way.Copy !req
372. Say good-bye
to all your pretty children for me.Copy !req
373. Can you understand
what he's saying?Copy !req
374. Like, half the time.Copy !req
375. My umbrella is stuck on something.
I require assistance.Copy !req
376. - So is she or isn't she?
- OK, Hank, look!Copy !req
377. She used to be Power Cat
on American Gladiator.Copy !req
378. Show gets tanked,
she checks herself into the nuthouse.Copy !req
379. Every couple of years,
she puts on the old costume...Copy !req
380. kidnaps you or tries to kill your dad
or burns down the compound.Copy !req
381. Depends on what meds
she's coming off of.Copy !req
382. How come
we don't remember her then?Copy !req
383. Look. You don't remember
because you're cl...Copy !req
384. - Cl-cl-cl...
- I can't help feeling...Copy !req
385. like we're not getting
the whole story.Copy !req
386. Right! Maybe she was telling the truth.Copy !req
387. All right! So I f... her!
What of it?Copy !req
388. Come, Liebe-Scheusal.
You tried your best.Copy !req
389. Yes. You failed to reunite them,
but look at it zis way.Copy !req
390. You saved his boys,
und zat's what counts.Copy !req
391. Compromise, my friend,
is zee essence of diplomacy...Copy !req
392. and diplomacy
is zee cornerstone of love.Copy !req
393. Sveet loveCopy !req
394. That is bloody good soup!Copy !req