1. So that's why I can't ever
kiss her lips again.
Copy !req
2. Simple mathematics.
Copy !req
3. Now, who can solve this problem?
Copy !req
4. Gary?
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5. I think I left my penis
in the bathroom.
Copy !req
6. Can I go get it?
Copy !req
7. Here.
You can use mine.
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8. We can't give Gary help.
Night school isn't for friends.
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9. It's for killers.
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10. Can I take
this course over?
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11. Yeah, if this is, like,
what you want to do forever.
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12. My mommy thinks
I'm living at my uncle's.
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13. She thinks I'm good.
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14. Well, Gary?
Are you?
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15. How did I oversleep?
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16. Shit!
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17. Where... aw, come... I told you
I was taking the car!
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18. I thought maybe
you wanted a cup of sugar,
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19. or maybe to see if Rocco
could come out and play.
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20. I didn't think for a second
you had the balls.
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21. The fucking arrogance.
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22. No, it's really offensive.
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23. Like, what, you're better
than him? But you're not.
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24. You think you can just
drop by my home...
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25. my home... and ask me this?
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26. Oh, I'm not asking.
Copy !req
27. You're gonna dismantle this
not-even-close-to-a-secret lair
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28. and leave town.
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29. Or die in this crappy office
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30. that is disappointingly
not whale-shaped
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31. or hovering
or anything cool.
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32. Are you serious?
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33. I'm the Blue Morpho.
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34. I know, dipshit.
I read the trades.
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35. Hold on, a-are you late
for something?
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36. No, just checking the time.
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37. You see, in 10 seconds,
you'll be bleeding to death,
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38. and you'll be unconscious.
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39. Abort! Abort!
Abort the mission!
Copy !req
40. I'm not even
at Grove Street yet!
Copy !req
41. Three. Two.
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42. And one.
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43. Ah!
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44. Ha ha ha!
Copy !req
45. - Shit.
- That's it.
Copy !req
46. Kano, get
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47. I can't believe I caught
that knife on the first try.
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48. Aah! So cool!
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49. Listen, please!
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50. It's just till we have
the Blue Morpho in custody!
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51. No more arching?
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52. How do you expect us
to make a living?
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53. What, do you expect me
to get a job at Tower Records?
Copy !req
54. Well, there are none!
And also I'm made of ectoplasm.
Copy !req
55. Please, please, everyone,
it's for your own safety!
Copy !req
56. My only skills are
brick throwing and frog being!
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57. We don't plan on taking away
anyone's livelihoods.
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58. No reason to start a panic here.
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59. Start a panic?
I'm leading an investigation.
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60. I'm just asking
for some cooperation.
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61. And they'd love to cooperate,
Councilwoman.
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62. Free dues for a year
and your weight in Guild booty
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63. for the head
of the Blue Morpho!
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64. Let's get flaming bricks!
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65. Let's get pitchforks
like in "Dracula"!
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66. No, like in "Frankenstein"!
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67. Torches!
Like in "Dracula"!
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68. I'm telling you,
it's "Frankenstein"!
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69. You all know me.
You know how I earn a living.
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70. I'll catch this Blue Morpho
for you,
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71. but it's not gonna be easy.
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72. He's not playing
by your Guild rules.
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73. He'll slice you open,
anus to throat,
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74. and wash his hands
in your spilling bowels.
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75. Let's get this over with.
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76. You can get back
to pretending you're bad.
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77. But as for your reward
of free dues...
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78. Free dues
and mugs with our logo on it!
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79. Your weight in mugs!
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80. I want a seat on your council.
Copy !req
81. For that,
I'll give you Blue Morpho.
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82. Or at least
his blood-soaked head!
Copy !req
83. Ah. Thank you very much,
Mr., uh, Death.
Copy !req
84. We'll, uh, take that
under advisement.
Copy !req
85. Nice job there, Rocco.
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86. Yeah, back when
I was with Angie,
Copy !req
87. she was into this kind of, uh,
getting-tied-up thing.
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88. - I got good at it.
- No? Angie?
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89. Yeah! Oh, she was like... oh ho!
Oh, you have no idea.
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90. Angie?
From Lyndhurst?
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91. You have no idea.
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92. Wake up, mystery man!
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93. Ah! Ah! Ah!
Okay! Okay! Ah!
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94. You'd think
I'd pull that stupid mask off
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95. and be all, "Bruce Wayne?
No friggin' way!"
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96. But I like the anticipation.
Copy !req
97. I like the riddle.
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98. Yeah, that little mask
covers around his eyes.
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99. Like now we don't know
who he is.
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100. Right? That's the only way
we can identify each other.
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101. Eye sockets.
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102. Hey, look.
Hey, Rocco, look.
Copy !req
103. - Look at my disguise.
- Who are you?
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104. I ain't never
seen this guy before.
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105. Where's Wide Wale?
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106. Oh! It was me the whole time!
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107. All right, all right,
I get it. I get it!
Copy !req
108. Now, now, now. No spoilers!
Copy !req
109. We can do this using logic.
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110. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
like Sherlock Holmes.
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111. Hey, Dr. Watson,
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112. doesn't this shithead
sound familiar?
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113. Yeah. He sounds like
that Monarch guy.
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114. Like a tiny bit.
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115. No? Monarch?
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116. Whew, I hope, for this guy's
sake, he ain't the Monarch.
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117. - Oh, yeah, why's that?
- W-Why would that matter?
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118. Oh, I ain't never
told you this before?
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119. My origin story?
Ah, you two will love this.
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120. Okay.
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121. As hard as it is to believe,
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122. I wasn't born
half a fucking whale.
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123. Did you know that 95%
of our oceans are unexplored?
Copy !req
124. My brother Doug used to say
that everything worth knowing
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125. was in that 95%.
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126. Like, uh, sharks have this shit
called angiogenin inhibitors
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127. that makes them
all but immune to cancer?
Copy !req
128. It's all scientific, and that
was really Dougie's department.
Copy !req
129. He was a fucking genius,
Copy !req
130. and I was the only one
that truly believed in him.
Copy !req
131. So this one time...
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132. Okay,
just a little further.
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133. And surprise!
The final piece!
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134. Oh, no, Chester, this won't do.
I-It's falling apart.
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135. Where did you get
this wretched thing?
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136. It's art. I stole it from
one of those snooty galleries.
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137. It's worth like
12 million bucks,
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138. so that means
it's the best, right?
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139. Use your eyes!
It's a pile of garbage.
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140. We can't use this!
This is worthless.
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141. Only a fool
would want this.
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142. This is my older
brother calling me a fool.
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143. My heart was just exploding.
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144. I-I had to make it right.
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145. So that night,
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146. I hooked up the molecular
redistributor to myself.
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147. Chester! No!
No, what are you doing?
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148. Dougie,
you got to trust me!
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149. You got to trust
your calculations!
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150. Wait, wait, no.
You did tell me this story.
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151. I remember this part.
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152. Yeah, I remember it too.
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153. Or maybe I'm thinking
of the Hulk.
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154. It's not exactly unique.
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155. And what does it have to do
with this, uh, Monarch guy?
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156. Oh, am I boring you?
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157. I'm sorry.
Let me get to that part.
Copy !req
158. So, anyway, I become
a supervillain,
Copy !req
159. and Doug becomes
a super-scientist,
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160. we part ways, yada, yada.
Copy !req
161. So Dr. Doug Ong...
Dr. Dugong...
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162. had this new arch, the Monarch.
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163. Can you guess what he did?
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164. You abandoned me!
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165. You abandoned my hatred!
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166. I-I have cuttlefish.
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167. Look into my eyes!
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168. Eh...
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169. So this Monarch guy
blew my brother's head off.
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170. You don't want to be him.
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171. I may look like a whale,
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172. but I got a lot of
bad shark in me.
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173. Yes.
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174. S-Surprise? Ow!
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175. They are whaling on him.
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176. Whaling.
That's kind of funny.
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177. Oh, if he lives through this,
he's gonna kill me.
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178. Be aggressive.
B-E aggressive. B-E...
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179. Yes, yes, it's hilarious.
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180. You're like
the third person to do that.
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181. Are you with my husband?
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182. Eh, kinda?
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183. Get to
Rat Island immediately.
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184. They caught the Blue Morpho.
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185. Which one of you
captured him?
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186. It was Tunnel Vision!
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187. Yeah, I was just tunneling
Rat Island there,
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188. and then this guy pops out.
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189. It's him.
Blue Morpho.
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190. There's, uh, probably
a secret lair around here.
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191. If he didn't
self-destruct it already.
Copy !req
192. My hand, if you could see it,
is extended in gratitude.
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193. That's a homeless guy dressed up
kind of like the Blue Morpho.
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194. This is ridiculous!
This is a Halloween mask!
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195. A what?
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196. This is crazy.
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197. The Blue Morpho
is still out there.
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198. You got to help me find him.
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199. I was just gonna almost
ask you the same thing.
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200. That isn't him,
and you know it.
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201. If we take this away
from them,
Copy !req
202. we'll get energy lasers,
acid spit,
Copy !req
203. and a frog
throwing a brick at us.
Copy !req
204. This nightmare is over.
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205. "Guild," as you know,
means "fellowship."
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206. Dr. Mrs. the Monarch?
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207. Yes?
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208. I just found out
Copy !req
209. Harangutan was killed
by the Blue Morpho.
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210. And you knew it.
Copy !req
211. You knew there was
a vigilante out there,
Copy !req
212. but you let villains arch.
Copy !req
213. You knew all those things,
Copy !req
214. and now my Wandering Spider
is dead.
Copy !req
215. I wanted you to know that.
Copy !req
216. You did not deserve that.
Copy !req
217. I-I have to show you
a few things.
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218. Meet me back at our place.
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219. Hey, Sirena, I got to ask you
to go to your room there.
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220. Your father, he, uh...
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221. I can't even
sit in the living room?
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222. Oh, this is so stupid.
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223. You're stupid,
and this is stupid.
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224. Hey, look, it's not me.
Copy !req
225. It's the Blue Morpho thing
and your dad.
Copy !req
226. If it was me,
I'd put you up in the Plaza
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227. with every
Nintendo game they got.
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228. Rocco, what year
do you think this is?
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229. Nintendo? What are we,
in the fucking '90s?
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230. - Then a PS2 or whatever.
- That came out forever ago.
Copy !req
231. Ugh! Fine! Tell my dad
you tied me to the bed.
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232. Don't you even
joke about that!
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233. Is someone
doing that to you, Sirena?
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234. Sirena, you would tell me if
someone was doing that to you!
Copy !req
235. - Rocco?
- Yeah, boss?
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236. Want to play
with the rat again?
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237. Wide Wale?
He's Wide Wale's prisoner?
Copy !req
238. - What are you morons thinking?
- He did it for you!
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239. You were suddenly
Mrs. Guild of Calamitous Intent,
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240. and he was Mr. Nobody!
Copy !req
241. Why does that
make sense to you?
Copy !req
242. That is the dumbest
fucking thing I've ever heard!
Copy !req
243. His father
was the Blue Morpho,
Copy !req
244. so he kills my colleagues...
for me?
Copy !req
245. It's dumb!
We're dumb!
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246. He did a dumb thing!
We're idiots!
Copy !req
247. But just look at what he did!
Copy !req
248. He's a Guild legend!
Copy !req
249. He has every one of those
bullshit fake villains
Copy !req
250. peeing in their tights!
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251. Yeah, he's a hero, Gary.
Tell that to Wide Wale.
Copy !req
252. If he doesn't get murdered,
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253. then it's my job
to publicly execute him!
Copy !req
254. Okay, okay, I get it, I get it.
We'll come up with a plan.
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255. We always do.
You know.
Copy !req
256. Go, Team Monarch?
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257. I c... I can't...
Copy !req
258. How did you even
pull this crap off?
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259. Well, you want to
see something?
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260. Oh, there's
the damn water heater!
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261. What is that,
a 20-gallon tank?
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262. No wonder I can only take
a three-minute shower.
Copy !req
263. - What the hell? There was stuff!
- It's impressive.
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264. You two play make-believe
in the basement. Neato.
Copy !req
265. Wait, where...
where are you going?
Copy !req
266. To get some real help.
Copy !req
267. Come on! Join me!
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268. Are you kidding?
It's freezing.
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269. Do this alone, you jackass.
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270. Oh, you are never
there for me!
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271. I'm drowning!
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272. There he is.
There's our vigilante.
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273. Did you have
a nice little rest?
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274. My teeth are loose.
You keep punching.
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275. Does baby always
wake up this grumpy?
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276. Seriously.
Use chloroform or something.
Copy !req
277. Did you ever hear
of a brain hemorrhage?
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278. You're right.
I want to watch you die.
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279. But I want it to be big.
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280. Big and poetic.
You deserve that.
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281. Hai ucciso mio fratello.
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282. I don't speak Italian.
How do you even know Italian?
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283. I mean, isn't your name Chinese?
Ong?
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284. It's English.
My wife was Italian.
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285. April?
April was Italian?
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286. What?
Of course she was Italian.
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287. She was Italian
on her mother's side.
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288. You sure of that, boss?
April?
Copy !req
289. A-And I spent some time abroad
in college.
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290. You know, work study.
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291. Yeah, yeah. One of my henchmen
went to London for a week.
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292. He came back
with an accent too.
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293. He was all,
"I'm rather chuffed."
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294. Total douche.
Copy !req
295. Oh, I hate guys like that.
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296. They're just trying
to get laid.
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297. "Hey, ladies,
I'm from le France!"
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298. "These American boys, so crude.
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299. Let me touch your bosom,
s'il vous plaît."
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300. It was the University
of, uh, uh, Palermo.
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301. Work study.
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302. Yeah, right, work study.
Copy !req
303. Come here,
you little rascal.
Copy !req
304. Gotcha!
Copy !req
305. These are your daddy's
work friends, honey.
Copy !req
306. Gary, meet Lila.
Copy !req
307. Well, look at you.
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308. You're as cute
as a button.
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309. Yes, she is.
Especially her belly button!
Copy !req
310. Oh, and this is...
Copy !req
311. Oh. Uh, Sheila.
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312. Hello, young lady.
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313. Ohh.
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314. I'll ask.
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315. She wants to know
if you're a princess.
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316. Oh, I am not. I'm a...
I work with your daddy.
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317. There you go, sweetheart.
Copy !req
318. Now go ask mommy if
you can have a cupcake, okay?
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319. She's beautiful.
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320. Your husband is alive.
Copy !req
321. - Told you!
- You are so lucky.
Copy !req
322. But just barely.
Copy !req
323. He made the unfortunate
career choice
Copy !req
324. of killing Wide Wale's brother
some time ago, a one Dr. Dugong.
Copy !req
325. That's his brother?
I remember that.
Copy !req
326. I wasn't even on that arch.
Copy !req
327. That was you
and the lousy Moppets.
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328. I'm in the clear.
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329. Uh, okay, yeah,
this isn't good.
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330. I will help you
rescue your husband.
Copy !req
331. But after that, I'm taking
his head to the Guild.
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332. I want that seat,
and I want that pension.
Copy !req
333. Kate keeps on me
about retiring.
Copy !req
334. This is
our little compromise.
Copy !req
335. If I can get you that seat
and save the Monarch
Copy !req
336. without killing another villain,
will you help us?
Copy !req
337. Well...
Copy !req
338. I very much like to kill.
Copy !req
339. We get to break into
an O.S.I. Dummy Corp.
Copy !req
340. And kill?
Copy !req
341. You think he's finished yet?
Copy !req
342. Give him
a couple more minutes.
Copy !req
343. Y-You can sit
in the front, you know.
Copy !req
344. I know.
Copy !req
345. Tunes?
Copy !req
346. Got my old iPod.
We could rock out.
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347. Let's not rock out.
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348. I've got some
sick playlists on there.
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349. You like trip hop with maybe...
Copy !req
350. Yeah, why don't we go in
and check if he's done in there?
Copy !req
351. Oh, yeah, he's...
I bet he's done.
Copy !req
352. I was, uh, swapping out the
surveillance with yesterday's.
Copy !req
353. Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
354. I like sick playlists.
Copy !req
355. And rocking out.
Copy !req
356. Oh, hi.
Copy !req
357. The room is secured.
Copy !req
358. How long do we have
till they regain consciousness?
Copy !req
359. Um...
Copy !req
360. - Hey, hey, hey.
- I'm gonna vomit.
Copy !req
361. Hey, come on.
Hey, wake up.
Copy !req
362. You got to stop doing that.
Copy !req
363. - You want to do Mad Libs?
- Do... Do what?
Copy !req
364. You know Mad Libs,
the party game.
Copy !req
365. - We're having a party.
- Are you serious?
Copy !req
366. Verb ending in I-N-G?
Copy !req
367. Stop.
P-Please stop.
Copy !req
368. Come on, nobody ever wants
to do these with me.
Copy !req
369. I'm putting down "stop,"
but with "I-N-G."
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370. "Stopping."
Copy !req
371. Oh, you should
read this out loud.
Copy !req
372. Why aren't those
in a database
Copy !req
373. or like online or something?
Copy !req
374. The O.S.I.'s old-school.
Copy !req
375. Paranoid, superstitious.
You know the type.
Copy !req
376. Aren't we all?
Look at this.
Copy !req
377. I wear the same socks
every time I kill.
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378. I call them
Steve and Dave Kill Sock.
Copy !req
379. This is Dave Kill Sock.
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380. I got that beat.
I can beat that.
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381. My dead friend's glove.
Copy !req
382. And for a bonus creepy,
I used to smell it
Copy !req
383. right before I did
something dangerous.
Copy !req
384. You ever seen
one of these, kid?
Copy !req
385. A ticket stub?
Yeah.
Copy !req
386. What's that, from the first time
you got girly action?
Copy !req
387. No, Gary,
that's a ticket stub
Copy !req
388. from movie night
on Gargantua-1.
Copy !req
389. Found it!
Copy !req
390. Wait.
You were at movie night?
Copy !req
391. The Guild, before your time,
tried to do a hostage thing.
Copy !req
392. Jonas Venture.
Copy !req
393. The big man
and his space station.
Copy !req
394. Ah, the '80s.
We did that back then.
Copy !req
395. Dumb kids gonna get famous.
Notorious.
Copy !req
396. We dressed as crew members.
Copy !req
397. Some of us had our space suits
on, some of us didn't.
Copy !req
398. With this face,
the helmet never came off.
Copy !req
399. Went perfectly.
Flawless.
Copy !req
400. Well, until someone
opened the bay doors.
Copy !req
401. No one knew who did it.
Copy !req
402. The crew shot out
Copy !req
403. like their mamas
were ringing the dinner bell.
Copy !req
404. You ever see a man die
in space?
Copy !req
405. You can tell the ones
that held their breath.
Copy !req
406. Their lungs rupture
from all that gas expanding.
Copy !req
407. Blood from their mouth
like a torn pillow
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408. stuffed with red BBs.
Copy !req
409. Stab Girl,
she was a little thing,
Copy !req
410. carried switchblades.
Copy !req
411. She knew to exhale.
Copy !req
412. Watched her
for a full minute.
Copy !req
413. Puffed up like
she had a peanut allergy.
Copy !req
414. Floating by me
with her mouth open,
Copy !req
415. screaming, making no sound,
Copy !req
416. spit on her tongue boiling.
Copy !req
417. Anyway, got to see
a little "Sharky's Machine."
Copy !req
418. All right, let's bounce!
Copy !req
419. Get this man
Copy !req
420. and meet us at Wide Wale's
penthouse at 2200 hours.
Copy !req
421. You wait on the roof
for Red Death,
Copy !req
422. then come in at my signal.
Copy !req
423. Don't be late again!
Copy !req
424. 10-4.
Copy !req
425. Don't use numbers
you heard on TV, just...
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426. No, yeah, that was...
I won't be late.
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427. They got pizza in there.
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428. Six bucks says
they don't save us a slice.
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429. Hey, uh,
Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS.
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430. - You need a hand?
- Maybe two?
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431. - No, I'm fine.
- Yeah, you are.
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432. No, no, no, no!
No, go back up!
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433. Go back up!
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434. Penthouse, per favore.
Andiamo!
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435. You know what I love about
sexist clowns like you guys?
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436. You actually think
you're nice guys.
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437. You're just being friendly.
You'd never hit a girl.
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438. I could do this
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439. and you wouldn't do
a thing.
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440. Hey, hey, listen, girly,
you don't...
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441. "Girly"? Really?
You were begging for that.
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442. Hank Venture
is behind me. Follow me.
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443. Hank Venture's behind me.
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444. Yeah,
almost makes up
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445. for him scuffing my knuckles
with his face.
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446. Plan B?
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447. Pretty poetic, huh?
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448. What, you dressed up the Venture
kid like a gigolo to kill me?
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449. I dressed-a myself
like a "juggalo," sir!
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450. Oh, super poetic.
Yeah, you're Lord Byron.
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451. He won't do it.
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452. Don't you listen to him,
Enrico.
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453. Just pull the trigger,
and you're family.
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454. You'll marry my daughter.
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455. You'll live in a frigging
magic petting zoo or some shit.
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456. W-Whatever.
Just kill him, son!
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457. Enrico!
Don't do it!
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458. V-Viceroy?
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459. Y-You're out of-a Dunwitch?
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460. That's my backup.
He's only 15 hours late.
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461. What are you doing?
This isn't Hank of you.
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462. Enrico Matassa is a lover,
not a fighter!
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463. You speak-a the truth.
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464. Your words are-a very Hank-a,
my friend.
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465. Just down that hall
is the woman you love!
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466. Give me the gun, Enrico.
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467. Does she crave Enrico?
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468. Want Enrico?
Burn for Enrico?
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469. - Yearn for...
- Oh, stop already!
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470. Sorry about the drama.
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471. They don't have wheelchair
access in this building.
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472. Oh, oh!
That was terrifying.
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473. Dougie?
I-Is that you, Dougie?
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474. - Y-You're alive?
- Of course.
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475. I have so much starfish DNA
in me that I regenerate limbs.
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476. I grew my head back.
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477. You'd know this
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478. if you occasionally answered
Mom's e-mails.
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479. She... She sends those
little cat videos.
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480. Always with the excuses!
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481. I've been under
O.S.I. protection
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482. because you're a...
you're a villain!
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483. I live in fear of you,
Chester.
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484. Dougie,
it's your little brother.
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485. I-I would never hurt you.
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486. You're holding a gun,
Chester!
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487. The red-faced guy
with the horse told me
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488. you were gonna kill a guy?
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489. This? No, no, no!
This was just fun.
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490. Yeah!
Just playing cops and robbers.
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491. Every Tuesday!
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492. Hey, boss, look who I found
snooping around.
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493. Oh!
You win, Rocco!
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494. Now, uh, uh, you hide,
and, uh, we'll look for you.
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495. - Get outta here.
- What? Oh, yeah.
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496. Uh, y-you want I should
I hide behind this thing?
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497. Hi, baby.
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498. Maybe we should
leave them to talk, huh?
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499. Oh, I think we need to talk
as well.
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500. I just heard breaking glass.
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501. - What is going on?
- Shh! Sirena, hide!
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502. - What is Hank doing here?
- I-I don't remember.
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503. S-Sirena?
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504. I-It's me!
Your Uncle Douglas!
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505. Oh, my God, hi!
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506. I have an uncle?
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507. Oh, Chester!
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508. I thought you was dead.
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509. This is
the greatest thing ever.
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510. You're not
out of the doghouse yet.
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511. Uh, here's something.
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512. The building across the street.
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513. Ven-Tech Tower?
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514. It looks like
it's trying to move.
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515. That's messed up.
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516. Dude!
That's the Morphomobile!
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517. The Blue Morpho?
How is that possible?
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518. Oh, who fucking cares?
I'm out of the doghouse!
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519. A what?
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