1. Morning, honey.
Copy !req
2. Hardly.
Must be nice getting to sleep in.
Copy !req
3. You know, some of us have
to work around here.
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4. What?
I work around here!
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5. Who do you think
supervises this?!
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6. All day long, it's
"Señor Monarch, where do I put this?
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7. Señor Monarch,
eggshell or semi-gloss?"
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8. This is work!
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9. Uh, I wasn't doing you, Manolo.
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10. I'm talking about your real work.
You haven't arched in weeks.
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11. - Yeah, 'cause you won't let me!
- It's not me!
Copy !req
12. Venture's a level 10 protagonist now.
Copy !req
13. - You are only at a level 4.
- And you promised to bump me up!
Copy !req
14. How am I supposed to
do that when all you do
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15. is lie around in your robe all day
Copy !req
16. and party all night
long with your Henchman?
Copy !req
17. Well, at least he's loyal.
Copy !req
18. You got to meet me halfway here.
Copy !req
19. Hire more henchmen, build a new cocoon,
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20. and go arch someone else
for just a little while!
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21. That worked out great last time.
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22. Then rob a bank, ransom
an heiress or something.
Copy !req
23. Show the council... no, show me
you're better than a 4.
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24. Hey, when you married me,
it was for better or worse,
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25. not better than 4.
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26. I married the Monarch.
I don't even know who this person is.
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27. - D-Do you need a hug?
- To the Morpho cave!
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28. Huh?
Ohh! The fuck?!
Copy !req
29. - Hey, there's coffee.
- Ah. Thanks.
Copy !req
30. Hey, I wasn't trying to
sneak out or anything.
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31. Uh, you looked busy, and I, uh,
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32. didn't want to scuff your nice floor.
Copy !req
33. - Okay, look, about last night...
- What? Oh, you're still here?
Copy !req
34. Let's make that coffee
to go, huh, Heracles?
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35. Whoa!
He smells awful!
Copy !req
36. And this is coming from someone
Copy !req
37. who's smelled a lot of dead archenemies.
Copy !req
38. Ohh! Whew!
Copy !req
39. You know, I've had dreams about
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40. you in an outfit like this, Fräulein.
Copy !req
41. Knock it off, Venture!
Copy !req
42. You're in a lot of trouble.
This wasn't just some
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43. anonymous henchman that you
could bury in your flower bed.
Copy !req
44. Haranguetan was a top-level nemesis.
Copy !req
45. Well, what? I had
nothing to do with this.
Copy !req
46. - Ask Billy. He saw the whole thing.
- Oh, please.
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47. This had "death by Samson"
written all over it.
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48. - Oh, speak of the devil. Samson.
- Huh?
Copy !req
49. Oh, shit!
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50. - Damn it.
- At ease.
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51. We're just here for the body.
Your handiwork I take it.
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52. Huh? No.
I, uh, smacked him up a bit, sure,
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53. but his head was still screwed
on straight when I left.
Copy !req
54. Well, then you won't
mind if I take a look
Copy !req
55. at your surveillance
tapes to confirm that.
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56. You touch our tapes, and they'll be
Copy !req
57. pulling you out of that hole next.
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58. Bag him up and move him out, people.
Copy !req
59. We're done here.
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60. What? You too? Ick!
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61. Like father, like son.
I'm not interested, Junior.
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62. But those were for Uncle Hatred.
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63. If we could just
get your Dr. Hancock on these,
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64. we'll be out of your hair.
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65. Oh, no, please, keep it...
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66. courtesy of the new Guild
of Calamitous Intent.
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67. And should you ever have
any issues with our service,
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68. please feel free to call
our helpful hate-line.
Copy !req
69. Brock, why are you walking like that?
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70. Is it a side effect of the God gas?
Copy !req
71. Are you experiencing anal leakage?
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72. - I don't need another olestra on my hands.
- No, Doc, I... maybe, actually.
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73. Chairman! Oh, there you are.
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74. The good ship Ven-Tech's
hit a bit of a P.R. iceberg.
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75. Ye got to see this.
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76. Whoa! Is this real life?
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77. Y-You're okay, pally.
It's just from the God gas.
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78. I feel funny.
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79. Why is this happening to me?
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80. This one can't hold his God gas!
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81. - Look at him.
- Oh, horrible.
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82. Ow! Oh, my head.
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83. - Oh, man!
- What's so funny?
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84. What are you looking at?
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85. Oh, my God!
Is that from last night?
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86. Take that down!
Take it down immediately!
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87. No way!
We got like 80,000 hits already.
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88. Wrong... 80,001!
Copy !req
89. - Ow!
- Well, I think you look just adorable.
Copy !req
90. Hey... Hey, Billy, are you hungry?
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91. Mom!
They're picking on me!
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92. William, there's a Nazi here to see you.
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93. Uh, m-mayor's office?
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94. - What the "f"?
- Hey, what's this one do?
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95. Uh, Blue Morpho backscratcher?
Copy !req
96. - Mm. Oh, sweet.
- All right, check it out.
Copy !req
97. I spent all morning putting
together a handy chart
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98. for everyone currently
in line to Arch Venture.
Copy !req
99. So, Wide Wale's
Venture's primary, right?
Copy !req
100. But he's ceded sub-arching
rights to these other level 10's
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101. through the Guild's
"fiends & family plan."
Copy !req
102. - Now, they, in turn, each have to...
- Blah-blah-blah!
Copy !req
103. Why aren't you using the big computer?
Copy !req
104. Because this Nixon-era fossil's
Copy !req
105. got less memory than a Speak & Spell!
Copy !req
106. And there's no internet
because there was no internet.
Copy !req
107. Hmm, might need to upgrade, then...
get some new Morpho, eh?
Copy !req
108. - How long do you plan on doing this?
- Till every one of them is dead.
Copy !req
109. Aw, dude, come on.
There's got to be another way.
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110. I am not a murderer.
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111. - You were last night.
- All right, that was an accident.
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112. Dead men can't arch... or rat on us.
Copy !req
113. - Hey, should we kill Manolo?
- What? Dude! Wh-Why?
Copy !req
114. 'Cause he's seen the secret cave.
Copy !req
115. I'm pretty sure he's
padding his invoices.
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116. He does quality work!
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117. - You're paying for the quality!
- All right, all right, fine!
Copy !req
118. We can't do anything until
we get the Morphomobile
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119. out of the impound, anyway.
Copy !req
120. So, Kano, my ample accomplice,
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121. to the Morphoscooters!
Copy !req
122. Oh, yeah, that's brilliant.
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123. Then we have to go
back for those tomorrow.
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124. They're not gonna fit
in the trunk, you know?
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125. All right, to the Morphocopter!
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126. Nope, don't have one.
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127. Eh, damn it!
What do we got for this?
Copy !req
128. Metrocards.
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129. The Quizboy claims
Venture and Brock were
Copy !req
130. present when Haranguetan was murdered,
Copy !req
131. but he was really foggy on the details.
Copy !req
132. Not surprising, considering
the boy was hippy-flipping
Copy !req
133. on Doc Venture's good time goof gas.
Copy !req
134. He said the killer was
Copy !req
135. a "handsome masked avenger,
resplendent in blue."
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136. The Blue something...
Blue "Morpho."
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137. Name ring a bell?
Copy !req
138. Only funeral bells.
The Blue Morpho's been dead for decades.
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139. There can only be one explanation!
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140. - Ghost Ninja!
- Time tunnel!
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141. There is a new Blue Morpho.
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142. That, or the lad could've
been hallucinatin'.
Copy !req
143. - Yeah, or just straight up lyin'!
- Well, yes, those could also work.
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144. Well, if I could just get a hold
of Venture's surveillance tapes,
Copy !req
145. we'd know for sure, but he won't budge.
Copy !req
146. Think I might can help you
out there, councilwoman.
Copy !req
147. What?
You're gonna change his mind?
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148. Let's just say I left a few bugs
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149. in his place last time I paid a visit.
Copy !req
150. The Ventures can't hide
nothin' from old Wide Wale.
Copy !req
151. All right, e-mail me if you
find anything, councilman.
Copy !req
152. In the meantime,
I have to break the news
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153. to the widow Haranguetan.
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154. Why didn't anyone tell me
we could just hologram in?
Copy !req
155. - Sigh.
- Yeah, these are never easy.
Copy !req
156. The bereaved can often
become volatile...
Copy !req
157. lots of "blame the messenger."
Copy !req
158. Ohh, remember Man Grenade's widow?
Copy !req
159. Yes, oh, I still can't go
through metal detectors.
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160. Maybe you two should wait in the car.
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161. Ugh.
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162. We're all paid up.
Copy !req
163. - Pardon?
- Our dues... we're paid up.
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164. You're from the Guild, ain't ya?
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165. Y-Yes, but I'm... I'm not here
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166. about your dues, Mrs. Haranguetan.
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167. Battleaxe.
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168. - S-Sorry.
- It's me name.
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169. Take enough shit from
that no-account husband...
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170. I'll not take his name, as well.
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171. Oh, uh, okay, um, about your husband...
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172. Whatever he's done,
I don't know nothin' 'bout it.
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173. Ain't seen hide nor hair
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174. of the worthless bastard
since Tuesday last.
Copy !req
175. Mrs. Haranguetan...
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176. B-Battleaxe, your husband is dead.
Copy !req
177. Oh, no, oh, no!
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178. Not me Ronnie!
Ooh, not me sweetheart!
Copy !req
179. - Say it ain't so.
- A drink on the house!
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180. To Haranguetan!
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181. Haranguetan!
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182. Fuck off, the lot of yous.
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183. The, um, council would like
Copy !req
184. - to express its sincerest... apologies.
- Who done him in?
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185. We don't know yet, but I
assure you the council is d...
Copy !req
186. I have no use for
your bloody assurances,
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187. so kindly leave us the keys to the
Haranguetank and be on your way.
Copy !req
188. - His what?
- Haranguetank!
Copy !req
189. His battle van, what'd ya think?
Never arches without it.
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190. There wasn't any...
we didn't even find...
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191. Well, you'd better
bloody well find it, then.
Copy !req
192. What do I pay me bloody dues for?
Copy !req
193. It's all I've left of him.
Copy !req
194. Sure, his breath was
crap, and he beat me
Copy !req
195. when he was in his cups,
but I loved him!
Copy !req
196. And he loved that Haranguetank.
Copy !req
197. I'll... I'll see what I can do.
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198. "All great things must first wear
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199. terrifying and monstrous masks in order
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200. to inscribe themselves
on the hearts of humanity."
Copy !req
201. Who said that? Anyone?
Copy !req
202. Think, my children.
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203. No need to answer at once.
No matter.
Copy !req
204. Philosophy is not about
the rote memorization
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205. and regurgitation of facts.
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206. It is about...
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207. Well, that will be all for today,
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208. my eager, young small brains.
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209. Please leave your papers on my desk
Copy !req
210. as you wander off to
your unexamined lives
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211. of gravity bongs, ceaseless tweets,
and date rapery.
Copy !req
212. Mr. Venture, a moment, please.
Copy !req
213. Um, yes, sir?
Professor Nidaba?
Copy !req
214. I've read your paper.
Copy !req
215. - Wh-When? I just put it on the...
- Just now.
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216. In addition to the
multiple doctorates I hold
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217. from Stanford, Cambridge,
the Sorbonne, et Alia,
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218. I am in possession of a
certificate of completion
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219. from the Evelyn Wood program.
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220. The point is
your paper is truly terrible.
Copy !req
221. - Oh, uh, but...
- Mr. Venture, you are one
Copy !req
222. of my brightest pupils this semester,
but you seem... distracted.
Copy !req
223. - Is there trouble at home?
- Well, a-a guy broke in
Copy !req
224. with a metal whale
monster the other day,
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225. and then some "yelly"
guy broke in last night.
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226. But, well, he died.
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227. As I suspected, the soot
on your right shoe...
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228. industrial concrete of a
grade used in skyscrapers
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229. with trace amounts of carrara marble...
Copy !req
230. indisputable evidence
of a whale-sized hole in your lobby.
Copy !req
231. - Wow, good eye.
- Furthermore, your clothing bears
Copy !req
232. a faint odor of antiseptic.
You visited a hospital this morning.
Copy !req
233. A thin residue of
pollen on your left cuff
Copy !req
234. - tells me you brought flowers.
- Whoa, that's amazing!
Copy !req
235. I merely interpret the
data, and the data tells me
Copy !req
236. that your chaotic home life is
a distraction from your studies.
Copy !req
237. I suggest you avoid
your domicile altogether
Copy !req
238. this evening, say, between the hours
of 9:00 and 10:30 P.M...
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239. that you might better focus,
eh, for tomorrow's exam.
Copy !req
240. O-Oh, w-well,
okay, Dr. Nidaba.
Copy !req
241. Thank you.
I'll sure take all your advice.
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242. Mm, excellent.
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243. "All great things must first wear
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244. terrifying and monstrous masks."
Copy !req
245. Nietzsche.
It was Friedrich Nietzsche.
Copy !req
246. How did they not know that?
Copy !req
247. Well, the good news is
Copy !req
248. I've located your, um, Haranguetank.
Copy !req
249. You've had about 50 unpaid
tickets on the thing,
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250. so the NYPD towed it.
Copy !req
251. - So that's it, then?
- Yeah, that's it. You just go down
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252. to the impound, pay
the fine, drive it home.
Copy !req
253. Once again, the Guild wishes
to express its most sincere c...
Copy !req
254. - Are... Are you okay?
- I just don't know
Copy !req
255. if I should be driving
in me state of emotions.
Copy !req
256. Oh, uh...
do you need me to go with you?
Copy !req
257. Ooh, would you?
Oh, you're a star.
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258. Let me just go put me face on.
Copy !req
259. All right, poshna, I'm ready.
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260. Let's go get us a Haranguetank!
Copy !req
261. - Can I help you?
- Yes, you have my car.
Copy !req
262. License and registration.
Copy !req
263. But of course. Here's my license!
Copy !req
264. And here's my registration!
Copy !req
265. Attack!
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266. Nah, nah, nah, Ms. Warrington.
Copy !req
267. Uh, this whole God gas business
Copy !req
268. has been blown way out of proportion.
Copy !req
269. But, Pirate Captain,
the video is clear proof
Copy !req
270. that Venture Techno Industries
is engaging in illegal
Copy !req
271. and unethical mind-control
experiments on human subjects.
Copy !req
272. No, no, no, t'was a
private joke video made
Copy !req
273. by a couple of extremely
low-level employees
Copy !req
274. in one of our wee subdivisions.
Copy !req
275. For the record, Ven-Tech is
not working on no God gas.
Copy !req
276. Well, I hope you enjoyed
your $200 million cheeseburger,
Copy !req
277. because our stock
dropped 50 points today!
Copy !req
278. My fault?
How is it my fault?
Copy !req
279. What? Who's that?
White?
Copy !req
280. Tell him no, we are not taking God gas
to the Science Now conference.
Copy !req
281. Billy, I'll call ya back.
Copy !req
282. - Pirate Captain, the...
- What? Let me finish!
Copy !req
283. Now, no, I've
been taken out of context.
Copy !req
284. But Pirate Captain...
Copy !req
285. Well, you have to
give me a chance to...
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286. Where the hell is it?
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287. - He said it'd be here.
- I don't know. Hang on!
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288. I'm gonna check the next aisle.
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289. - I think I see something blue.
- Hurry up!
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290. The poison in those
darts is from the '70s.
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291. If it didn't kill him, the guard might
wake up any minute feeling groovy!
Copy !req
292. Ah!
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293. What the...
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294. Oh, oh, lady!
Copy !req
295. What is wrong with you?!
All you had to do is pay the ticket!
Copy !req
296. I hate fucking coppers.
Copy !req
297. Greetings, Dr. Venture.
I am Think Tank,
Copy !req
298. - and I will be your nemesis this evening.
- Uh... Brock?
Copy !req
299. I know, Doc, I'm on it.
Just get to the panic room, stat.
Copy !req
300. - Uh, not really an option.
- Sit, Dr. Venture. Please.
Copy !req
301. I do apologize for the
rather theatrical entrance,
Copy !req
302. but I find a bold opening always
makes for a more spirited game.
Copy !req
303. And I intend to enjoy
ours to the fullest.
Copy !req
304. The Guild has of late
seen fit to mismatch me
Copy !req
305. against a procession of
muscle-bound subhumans
Copy !req
306. and caped half-wits, but
in you, my good doctor,
Copy !req
307. I finally have an adversary worthy
Copy !req
308. of my prodigious intellect.
Copy !req
309. - So, shall we match wits?
- What? Oh.
Copy !req
310. - I don't really play.
- Oh, you... you don't?
Copy !req
311. More of a parcheesi man.
Copy !req
312. Got one of those in
your little glove box?
Copy !req
313. Oh. Oh, dear. I can't say
this isn't a disappointment.
Copy !req
314. I had this whole thing planned.
Copy !req
315. Look, could we move this along?
Copy !req
316. I've already been
arched twice this week,
Copy !req
317. and, frankly, it's getting old.
Copy !req
318. - What do you want?
- Ah.
Copy !req
319. What does any man want, Dr. Venture?
Nietzsche once wrote,
Copy !req
320. - "The true man wants dan..."
- Oh, Jesus, all right! That's it.
Copy !req
321. Who... Who are you calling?
Copy !req
322. Guild of Calamitous Intent.
Copy !req
323. Uh, yes, hi.
This is Dr. Thaddeus S. Venture.
Copy !req
324. I'd like to register a complaint.
Copy !req
325. Ah, you want customer service.
Please hold while I connect you.
Copy !req
326. Customer service.
Debbie speaking.
Copy !req
327. Wha... oh, hi, Debbie?
Copy !req
328. This is Dr. Thaddeus S. Venture.
Copy !req
329. - I have an issue with a new arch you sent me.
- Ah, here comes your knight.
Copy !req
330. So it's to be the king's
indian defense, is it?
Copy !req
331. And you said you didn't play.
Copy !req
332. Hmm?
Copy !req
333. Hmm.
Copy !req
334. This is getting ridiculous.
Copy !req
335. How am I supposed to get
any work done around here
Copy !req
336. when these clowns keeps showing up?
Copy !req
337. And this new one, he's a talker.
Copy !req
338. Well, we're very sorry to
hear you're dissatisfied
Copy !req
339. with your service, Dr. Venture.
Copy !req
340. Would you mind holding while
Copy !req
341. I pull up the details of your account?
Copy !req
342. Uh...
Copy !req
343. - Oh. Oh, god.
- Oh! No, still smells of him.
Copy !req
344. Whiskey,
cheap Chinese cigarettes,
Copy !req
345. and the sweat of a man who may
or may not have been part ape.
Copy !req
346. This is the Haranguetank?
Copy !req
347. Aye, home sweet home.
Copy !req
348. Can I get you something?
Whiskey?
Copy !req
349. No, I think we should just go.
Copy !req
350. - Wait, you live in this thing?
- Ow!
Copy !req
351. What was that?
Copy !req
352. Parkies on patrol!
Copy !req
353. - Owie.
- Psst! Quit screwing around!
Copy !req
354. Found it.
Copy !req
355. You?!
Copy !req
356. Wait here.
Copy !req
357. Ha! Too slow that time, stink tank.
Copy !req
358. Looks like we got ourselves a
good old-fashioned stalemate.
Copy !req
359. No, we do not.
Your position is untenable, Mr. Samson.
Copy !req
360. I need only to increase
my force field's power
Copy !req
361. to sever your brachial artery.
Copy !req
362. Yeah? Then you'd be
drowning in my blood.
Copy !req
363. Ha! Now who's untenable?
Copy !req
364. I have a high-velocity
cannon pointed at your chest.
Copy !req
365. I could dodge it.
Copy !req
366. Come on, come on.
Copy !req
367. Sorry to keep you waiting.
Copy !req
368. Oh, thank God. Look, I've been...
Copy !req
369. Did you now you can now
pay your Guild dues online?
Copy !req
370. - Damn it to hell!
- Simply log in...
Copy !req
371. - Oh.
- So, what?
Copy !req
372. - You're stalking me now?
- Wha... What? No.
Copy !req
373. - Dude, I'm just...
- Relax. I'm just messing with you.
Copy !req
374. Hey, so... sorry if
I was weird this morning.
Copy !req
375. It's cool.
I think this makes us even.
Copy !req
376. I'm just not one for
pillow talk, you know?
Copy !req
377. I-I've got a lot going
on right now, what,
Copy !req
378. with my career, my alter
ego, my alter ego's career...
Copy !req
379. Yeah, I kind of got a lot
going on myself right now.
Copy !req
380. - That Think Tank guy just...
- Whoa, whoa, Think Tank?
Copy !req
381. Oh, do not even tell me
Copy !req
382. that pompous son of a gorgon
is messing with my man.
Copy !req
383. I know who you are, Blue Morpho!
Copy !req
384. Come on out, coward!
Copy !req
385. Show yourself!
Copy !req
386. Ohh, flamin' Nora,
what's keepin' the woman?
Copy !req
387. Well, posh pattie won't mind
if we just check our e-mails.
Copy !req
388. What's this, then?
Copy !req
389. Oh, there you are,
me big strappin' husband.
Copy !req
390. Ooh, look at how
handsome you are in your leathers.
Copy !req
391. I am going to fucking kill you.
Copy !req
392. Do you hear me?
Copy !req
393. - What is your wife doing here?
- Hello?
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394. - I do not know.
- I know you're in there.
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395. If you're trying to hide,
you shouldn't have picked
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396. a place with your big
fucking face on it.
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397. - She kind of has a point.
- Shut up and get us out of here.
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398. Nice try, but you're not gonna get
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399. very far with that boot on your car.
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400. Now come out of there
with your hands up.
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401. Ooh!
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402. Oh, I can't watch!
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403. Do you hear me?
I'm not fucking with you!
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404. You have three seconds.
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405. Hold on a tick.
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406. One...
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407. Oh, you...
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408. - ...two...
- Ooh, you're a sly one.
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409. ...three.
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410. Oh! Oh!
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411. Oh, my God, oh, my God!
What's happening?
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412. What? Oh, oh! Hey!
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413. Venture!
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414. Okay, Dr. Venture,
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415. now I'm going to give
you your case number.
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416. You will need to keep it handy
in case we get disconnected.
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417. Do you have a pen?
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418. Uh, yeah, hang on.
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419. - G-O-F-6-2-2.
- Hang... Hang on. Oh, come on.
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420. - Sucker.
- Follow that Blue... Morphomobile.
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421. Uh, hello?
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422. All right, think guy.
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423. If you're such a super
genius, can you think of a way
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424. to get cheap pen out
of expensive speedsuit?
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425. Ah, didn't see that
move coming, did you?
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426. We call that an
"in your face checkmate."
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427. Well, I call it an
"unsanctioned team-up."
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428. The Guild will hear of this.
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429. Yeah, good luck with that.
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430. What do you say we take
this unsanctioned team-up
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431. back to my place and make it official?
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432. All right, but, uh...
no butt stuff this time, okay?
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433. - I liked it!
- May I go?
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434. - Oh, my God, that was so fucking close!
- Ah! Yes! God!
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435. Amazing!
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436. I love you, daddy! Mwah!
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437. Hey, we should totally swing
over the Venture building!
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438. What? No! We're not
gonna swing anywhere!
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439. - We're gonna bring this thing home!
- Come on! Just a quick fly-by!
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440. I want to take a dump in his pool.
Be like old times.
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441. That skeevy little bastard!
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442. Stay on him. It's a straightaway.
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443. He's turning!
Oh, my God.
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444. It looks like he's headed for...
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445. Ohh, don't you worry, Ronnie.
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446. Your old Battleaxe
will avenge ya, darlin'.
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447. Prepare for battle, Venture,
'cause here comes the axe!
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448. Whoa, what's that up
in the road... a head?
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449. - Taxi?
- Dr. Nidaba?
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450. What's he doing at our house?
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451. Waiting for all the king's
horses and all the king's men?
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452. Whoa!
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453. Watch where you're going!
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454. - Watch!
- Ahh, what the hell is that?!
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455. Curse o' the Blue Jesus!
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456. Whoa!
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457. Huh?
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458. Oh, for... now what?
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459. Someone had a very busy day.
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460. Ah, the vestibule looks great, honey.
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461. Yeah, it's, uh, starting to look
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462. like a real home now, huh, honey?
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463. Aw, I'm s... I'm sorry
about this morning.
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464. I guess it's the stress of the
job and the home and all this...
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465. - Oh, no, it's...
- You are not the enemy, sweetie.
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466. I know who my enemy is.
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