1. Pop? Pop?
Copy !req
2. Are you okay?
Copy !req
3. He fainted.
Copy !req
4. - With his eyes open?
- Shock, probably.
Copy !req
5. Poor little guy.
Copy !req
6. He must have been overcome
with grief.
Copy !req
7. Why is he smiling
like that?
Copy !req
8. "Last will and testament"?
Copy !req
9. Wakey, wakey, Mr. Venture.
Copy !req
10. You're about
to be a very rich man.
Copy !req
11. Is everything to your
satisfaction, Dr. Venture?
Copy !req
12. Ah, yes.
Thank you, jBot.
Copy !req
13. Everything is delicious.
Copy !req
14. It is my pleasure
to serve you.
Copy !req
15. So, what's everyone
got planned
Copy !req
16. for their first day
in the big city?
Copy !req
17. I got to run a thorough
security check of the premises.
Copy !req
18. That monkey-business crew
calls itself a security team?
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19. They wouldn't pass muster
at a boy scout jamboree.
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20. Well, you would know.
Copy !req
21. Just try not to burn the place
down while you're at it, hmm?
Copy !req
22. How about you, boys?
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23. Eh,
I'm gonna take it easy,
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24. enjoy the life
of the idle, rich playboy.
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25. I'm gonna visit the Stuyvesant
University campus uptown.
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26. Thinking of applying
for the fall semester.
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27. Nerd.
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28. jPhone, subway directions
to Stuyvesant University.
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29. Retrieving subway directions
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30. to Stuyvesant University.
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31. Too soon, Dean.
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32. Maybe
I'll just call a cab.
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33. Would you like me
to call you a cab?
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34. Hey, Pop?
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35. Pretty much the Avengers
are on our porch.
Copy !req
36. Whoa.
Copy !req
37. Good morning, citizen Venture.
Copy !req
38. Welcome to the neighborhood.
Copy !req
39. All right. Who are you,
and what are you selling?
Copy !req
40. If it's cookies, I'll take
two boxes of thin mints.
Copy !req
41. If it's religion, you can
leave the way you came.
Copy !req
42. No, we represent
the Crusaders' Action League.
Copy !req
43. And all we're selling
is peace of mind.
Copy !req
44. Are you tired
of feeling afraid?
Copy !req
45. C.A.L. is here to protect you
and your property
Copy !req
46. from all costumed menace,
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47. be it terrestrial,
extraterrestrial,
Copy !req
48. or supernatural
in origin.
Copy !req
49. C.A.L. offers
convenient monthly payments
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50. and a plan
to fit any budget,
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51. so let's go ahead
and get you started
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52. with your gold plan
today, okay?
Copy !req
53. And... Why would I need the cast
of "Godspell" for protection?
Copy !req
54. Take a good, hard look
over there, mortal.
Copy !req
55. See that looming
black phallus?
Copy !req
56. It's turgid with the city's
nastiest super-villains,
Copy !req
57. and it's got a rape-on for
super-scientists like you.
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58. I thought superheroes
Copy !req
59. were just supposed to help
people for free.
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60. Ha, yeah.
Amateur superheroes.
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61. Yeah, well, this building's
Copy !req
62. already got professional
protection ... mine.
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63. Ohh...
O.S.I.
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64. Way to do
your homework, Tosh.
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65. Oh, hey.
T-there's coffee.
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66. Thank God.
Where is Doctor-my-wife?
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67. Oh, she had to leave at dawn
for some Guild thing.
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68. Señor Gary, las nuevas puertas
ya llegaron. Donde las ponemos?
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69. Oh, uh...
Deje las en la entrada.
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70. Uh, gracias, Manolo.
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71. Since when do you speak
whatever that was?
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72. Oh, long time.
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73. What?
I got Rosetta Stone.
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74. Why are you hiding
that newspaper?
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75. What, this?
Wait, wait, wait.
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76. I was gonna show it to you
after you had your coffee!
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77. I just didn't want you
to flip out.
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78. Why would I flip out over
the cubs beating the mets?
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79. I don't even follow baseb...
oh, wait.
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80. You meant flip out because
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81. while I'm stuck
being the slumlord king
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82. of Craphole county,
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83. my enemy's basking
in his ivory tower?
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84. Yeah. That.
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85. We're going there.
Today.
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86. No, dude, we are not set up
for arching yet.
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87. Who's talking about arching?
We shall merely reconnoiter!
Copy !req
88. That's a weird word, huh?
Copy !req
89. This meeting of
the Council of 13
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90. will now come to order.
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91. Is everyone present?
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92. All seven of us.
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93. Six.
We only count as one.
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94. Hey, where's
the Sovereign at?
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95. I'll call him.
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96. Killinger!
Killinger! Killinger!
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97. What on earth
are you doing?
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98. He's not Betelgeuse,
you lunatic.
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99. He's not your
new Sovereign, either.
Copy !req
100. He left you this book.
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101. Said it contained everything
you need to know
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102. to run the Guild yourselves.
Copy !req
103. Well, did he say anything else?
Don't sit.
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104. Um... The only other thing
he said was
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105. "My work here is done."
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106. And then he just...
disappeared.
Copy !req
107. Well, who is to be
our new Sovereign, then?
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108. You know,
in its earliest iteration,
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109. the Guild didn't even
have a Sovereign.
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110. The council of 13 were all
equals who ruled by committee.
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111. Preposterous!
Copy !req
112. Without a strong leader,
the membership would revolt.
Copy !req
113. Oh, they're all about
to revolt anyway.
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114. Our last "strong leader"
Copy !req
115. left a huge mess
after Gargantua-2.
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116. We got to put these people
at ease.
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117. Indeed.
The rumor mill runs rampant
Copy !req
118. amongst the rank and file.
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119. I suggest we hold a town-hall
meeting to address said rumors.
Copy !req
120. - Seconded.
- Agreed.
Copy !req
121. But they must never know
Copy !req
122. how close we came
to losing this Guild.
Copy !req
123. For now, we need to assure them
it's business as usual.
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124. No, no, please.
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125. It's you
who deserve the applause.
Copy !req
126. You've been a great audience,
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127. and I hope to see all of you
when the semester starts.
Copy !req
128. D-did I miss the tour?
Copy !req
129. The subways
are really confusing.
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130. 'fraid so, kid.
Wait.
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131. You're the Venture boy,
aren't you?
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132. Wh...
how did you know that?
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133. We used to be neighbors!
Don't you remember me?
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134. Uh...
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135. No? Okay, well,
while you think about it,
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136. how about
I show you around?
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137. I'm something of a big man
on campus around here, and ...
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138. Hey, lover boy!
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139. Um, I think
that guy's trying to ...
Copy !req
140. just ignore him.
Copy !req
141. What, are you working
for the weekend?
Copy !req
142. Here, maybe you could use
a little pick-me-up!
Copy !req
143. Uh-oh!
Copy !req
144. My campus tour guide sense
is telling me Tosh Tompkins
Copy !req
145. is fixing to throw
his energy drink at me.
Copy !req
146. With my incredible
spider-esque reflexes,
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147. I could easily dodge it.
Copy !req
148. Or I could spin a web, pretty
much any size, to catch it.
Copy !req
149. But then the whole campus
would learn my secret identity.
Copy !req
150. Are you okay?
Copy !req
151. And that could put
my poor old aunt ...
Copy !req
152. Oh.
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153. Mark Knoepfler
crapped his pants! Again!
Copy !req
154. That guy goes here?
He's like 40.
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155. Yeah, he's a teacher.
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156. I didn't,
you know, crap my pants.
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157. Yeah I-I know.
I remember you now.
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158. Tell me
that's the last of these.
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159. Nope. You still got
St. Abernathy's,
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160. the, ah, Can-do Club,
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161. and the Friends
of Fox-Fordyce disease.
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162. Ugh. It's a wonder
my brother had any money left.
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163. Can't you do this?
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164. No can do.
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165. Already late for me appointment
at our queens facility.
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166. 'course,
I wouldn't have to go
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167. if in ya didn't fire
everyone else.
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168. Give me regards
to the Sebaceous Cyst Society.
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169. Arr! Taxi!
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170. Oy!
Where'd you get that?
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171. Hey! Hey!
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172. Ah! Run!
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173. I'm in pursuit!
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174. Suspect is fleeing on foot!
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175. Youse okay, sir?
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176. Oh, ooh!
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177. I feel fantastic!
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178. Okay, people, please.
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179. Calm down.
One at a time.
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180. My arch
died six months ago,
Copy !req
181. and I'm still waiting
for a new one.
Copy !req
182. My disability
checks stop coming!
Copy !req
183. This is not growing back.
I am not real gecko.
Copy !req
184. The website is a total disaster!
Epic fail.
Copy !req
185. Okay, these
are valid complaints, people,
Copy !req
186. but we called this meeting to ...
Copy !req
187. well, why don't I just let
the Sovereign tell you himself?
Copy !req
188. Greetings,
my loyal constituents.
Copy !req
189. It is I, your Sovereign,
making a rare public appearance
Copy !req
190. to assure you that the Guild
is as strong as ever.
Copy !req
191. I call bullpoo!
That's not the Sovereign.
Copy !req
192. The real Sovereign
went ape-o
Copy !req
193. and tried to kill
the Council of 13.
Copy !req
194. I was there!
And so was she!
Copy !req
195. All right,
the jig is up, Hamilton.
Copy !req
196. Turn it off and come on out.
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197. No way!
Copy !req
198. If Phantom Limb
is the Sovereign,
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199. I'm moving to Canada.
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200. No, no, no.
He's not the Sovereign.
Copy !req
201. The Sovereign...
Copy !req
202. The Sovereign is dead.
Copy !req
203. But the Guild isn't, people!
Copy !req
204. From now on, the Council of 13
will lead us all.
Copy !req
205. Oh, great.
More anonymous heads in charge.
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206. And where are they?
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207. Uh, you're looking at 'em.
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208. Um, shouldn't there be
13 of you?
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209. Excellent question.
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210. Uh, we'll be
screening candidates
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211. to fill the empty seats
very soon.
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212. Uh, will the council
be more diverse, because,
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213. I, for one, would like
to see more women
Copy !req
214. in positions of authority.
Copy !req
215. - And more people of color.
- And more people of color!
Copy !req
216. Maybe? Look, we don't have
all the answers right now,
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217. but we promise you this...
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218. the Guild will be great
once more,
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219. and your Council of 13
is here for you.
Copy !req
220. What?
No. Why would I want those?
Copy !req
221. Red moco cooler
for the Doctor?
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222. Ah, don't mind if I do.
Copy !req
223. Ahh.
Copy !req
224. What ... What is all this?
Copy !req
225. Hey, Pop!
Welcome to the Hank cave!
Copy !req
226. Hup!
Copy !req
227. Hank, what did you do?
Copy !req
228. Did you know you can buy
pretty much anything online?
Copy !req
229. Who is this person?
Copy !req
230. The Amazing Flippo.
He's teaching me trapeze.
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231. Yeah, well,
Flippo has to go.
Copy !req
232. In fact, all of this stuff
has to go ... the video games,
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233. the massage chair,
the gigantic stuffed giraffe.
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234. Oh, my God!
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235. Yeah, I got that one
for Dean.
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236. Get it out of my house!
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237. No, not Mr. Reachmore!
Copy !req
238. Boys, just because
we're billionaires
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239. doesn't mean you can spend
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240. my hard-inherited
money willy-nilly!
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241. - Pbht! Why not?
- Because ...
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242. Just hand over your damn
credit card, Hank.
Copy !req
243. Hey, Doc.
You expecting company?
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244. I don't know.
Copy !req
245. Is Flippo's flying family circus
bringing lions over?
Copy !req
246. Stand down, Sergeant.
Copy !req
247. - Brock!
- Brock!
Copy !req
248. Agent Brock Samson,
Copy !req
249. Office of Secret Intelligence,
reporting for duty.
Copy !req
250. What do you mean
"re-assigned"?
Copy !req
251. The Ventures were like
a family to me!
Copy !req
252. O.S.I. agents have no family
but the O.S.I., Sergeant Sappy.
Copy !req
253. The game's changed.
Copy !req
254. Venture's back
in the big leagues now,
Copy !req
255. and I need my star player
to take the ball.
Copy !req
256. So, I'm stuck
warming the bench?
Copy !req
257. I'm not built
for a desk job, General.
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258. Give me a new client.
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259. No dice.
Copy !req
260. The only unassigned scientist
we got right now
Copy !req
261. is, eh, Jimmy Jigowatt
out of Deer Park, Texas.
Copy !req
262. Fine.
Put me on him, then.
Copy !req
263. He's a 9-year-old
boy genius,
Copy !req
264. and he's cute
as a damn button.
Copy !req
265. You are the last thing
I am putting on him.
Copy !req
266. Choice is yours, Sergeant ...
desk or the door.
Copy !req
267. I'm waiting!
Copy !req
268. Will you hang
on a minute, Doc?
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269. I just got to grab my ... Hey!
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270. What the hell are you doing
in my room?
Copy !req
271. Oh, I, uh ... say, this ain't
me treasure chest at all!
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272. Uh, my mistake, Brock.
I'll be shovin' off now!
Copy !req
273. Oh, captain, I won't be
coming into the office today.
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274. I have a ...
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275. guess we're taking
the stairs.
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276. Oh, yeah.
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277. Give it up for me,
you beautiful, black bitch.
Copy !req
278. Whisper sweet nothings
in me ear.
Copy !req
279. So, where we headed?
Copy !req
280. To settle an old score
with the Italian.
Copy !req
281. Little Italy? We could have
taken the car, Doc.
Copy !req
282. Cars are
for millionaires, Brock.
Copy !req
283. My God,
it hasn't changed a bit.
Copy !req
284. Is that the same cat?
Copy !req
285. Buon giorno, signore.
How can I ...
Copy !req
286. You.
Copy !req
287. Hello again, Enzo.
Copy !req
288. Excuse me.
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289. Does this one come
in green chain mail?
Copy !req
290. You, out. Andiamo.
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291. You got a lot of a-nerve
Copy !req
292. a-showing your faccia
in here.
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293. I'm here to make things
right, Enzo.
Copy !req
294. I wish
to see the Ambassador.
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295. No, Brock.
It's a Sicilian thing.
Copy !req
296. Let no money
come between brothers.
Copy !req
297. He's forgiven me.
Copy !req
298. Dottore the Rusty, eh?
Copy !req
299. Oh, you look exactly
the same!
Copy !req
300. Except-a for no hair
and a-very much older.
Copy !req
301. I will fetch
the Ambasciatore.
Copy !req
302. What the was that
all about?
Copy !req
303. 20 years ago, after inheriting
my father's fortune,
Copy !req
304. I placed an order for one
of Enzo's "specialty items."
Copy !req
305. I never came back for it.
Copy !req
306. So, who's this ambassador?
His boss?
Copy !req
307. It is time.
Copy !req
308. Presento
the Ambasciatore.
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309. My God, Enzo.
Copy !req
310. It's even more beautiful
than I remembered.
Copy !req
311. - A jumpsuit?
- Santa Maria!
Copy !req
312. Bespoke speedsuit,
Brock!
Copy !req
313. Forgive him, Enzo.
Copy !req
314. Well, I thought
it went pretty well.
Copy !req
315. Oh, yay for you.
Copy !req
316. You managed to impress
a pathetic rabble
Copy !req
317. of third-rate has-beens
and never-wases.
Copy !req
318. Lovely way to talk about
your constituents, Hamilton.
Copy !req
319. He do got a point, though,
Madam Monarch.
Copy !req
320. There wasn't anybody there
above a level six.
Copy !req
321. Well, that's because no one
from the New York chapter
Copy !req
322. bothered to show up.
Copy !req
323. New York
has always been aloof,
Copy !req
324. constantly threatening
to secede.
Copy !req
325. If New York secedes,
we're done for.
Copy !req
326. We must reach out to
their leadership personally,
Copy !req
327. perhaps offer them a seat
on the council.
Copy !req
328. Exactly. If we can
just land one big fish,
Copy !req
329. the rest will swim along.
Copy !req
330. I'm glad you agree,
because tonight,
Copy !req
331. you've got a date
with their biggest fish of all.
Copy !req
332. Go fish.
Copy !req
333. - Hey, honey?
- Hey, pookums.
Copy !req
334. Look ... we found an old deck
of cards inside a wall.
Copy !req
335. I've ... I've got to go
into the city.
Copy !req
336. Work just sprung this
on me.
Copy !req
337. It's a whole classified thing.
I'm sorry.
Copy !req
338. No, no, no, that's okay,
my little breadwinner.
Copy !req
339. The Monarch understands.
Mwah!
Copy !req
340. O-kay.
Copy !req
341. All right.
Let's do this.
Copy !req
342. If we hurry, we can catch
the 6:00 path train to the ...
Copy !req
343. oh, man.
That commute is brutal.
Copy !req
344. Can't arching wait
till we get a new cocoon?
Copy !req
345. We don't even have
henchmen yet.
Copy !req
346. Disculpeme señor Gary?
Ya termine por el dia.
Copy !req
347. Uh, gracias, Manolo.
Uh, lo veo mañana.
Copy !req
348. - Manolo! Wait! Wait!
- Manolo! Manolo! Manolo!
Copy !req
349. Yeah?
Copy !req
350. Heya, Brock.
Can I borrow your binoculars
Copy !req
351. to look for naked ladies
off the roof?
Copy !req
352. Sure.
Copy !req
353. Oh, god damn, Hank.
Those outfits are killing me.
Copy !req
354. Every time I see you,
I want to wring your neck.
Copy !req
355. Gosh, Brock.
Copy !req
356. It's great
to have you back, too.
Copy !req
357. Look, I'm sorry.
Copy !req
358. I just ... I can't stand
that Bieber kid.
Copy !req
359. He's such a punk.
Copy !req
360. Yeah,
but chicks dig him.
Copy !req
361. Nah, Hank.
What chicks really dig
Copy !req
362. is a guy
who's confident enough
Copy !req
363. to be himself,
like Steve McQueen.
Copy !req
364. Who?
Copy !req
365. Google him.
Copy !req
366. Ha! Excellent work,
Henchman Uno.
Copy !req
367. Dejelo corriendo, Manolo.
Copy !req
368. Lookit these two slobs.
Copy !req
369. Just as I thought.
Copy !req
370. Tuck that shirt in.
Copy !req
371. Please make
yourself comfortable,
Copy !req
372. Dr. Mrs. the Monarch.
Copy !req
373. I shall inform our host
that you have arrived.
Copy !req
374. He is... most excited
to meet you.
Copy !req
375. Welcome, councilwoman.
Copy !req
376. You're even lovelier
than I'd heard.
Copy !req
377. Lice, some privacy,
please.
Copy !req
378. I just
really want to thank you
Copy !req
379. for seeing me,
Wide Wale.
Copy !req
380. It's no secret that New York
is where
Copy !req
381. a lot of the Guild's top-tier
villains hang their helmets.
Copy !req
382. Uh, can ...
can you even hear me?
Copy !req
383. Yes, and you needn't give me
the hard sell.
Copy !req
384. Your Phantom Limb
Copy !req
385. already offered me
a seat on the council.
Copy !req
386. Oh.
Then why am I here?
Copy !req
387. Because that's not gonna be
enough to sway me.
Copy !req
388. I wish to discuss a deal
of a more, uh, personal nature.
Copy !req
389. Just how far are
you willing to go
Copy !req
390. to serve your Guild, councilwoman?
Copy !req
391. Hey, I know her!
Copy !req
392. All right, New York.
Copy !req
393. Show me something
I haven't seen.
Copy !req
394. Hmm?
Well, hello there.
Copy !req
395. Hey,
you guys are early.
Copy !req
396. Shift doesn't start
till ...
Copy !req
397. Retina scan, please.
Copy !req
398. Crap. I didn't know
they had one of these.
Copy !req
399. Out of the way.
Copy !req
400. Yeah,
that's not gonna work.
Copy !req
401. - Unauthorized entry.
- Nice one, genius.
Copy !req
402. Oh!
Copy !req
403. Welcome to hell, fellas!
Copy !req
404. Oh, my God!
Copy !req
405. We're locked in an elevator
with the devil!
Copy !req
406. Just like that movie...
"Devil!"
Copy !req
407. Hey, Brock,
can I borrow your O.S.I.
Copy !req
408. gas-powered
tactical grapple gun?
Copy !req
409. - Thanks!
- Huh?
Copy !req
410. Oh, my stars and garters!
Copy !req
411. I have shots fired
near Columbus Circle!
Copy !req
412. They came
from Ven-Tech Tower!
Copy !req
413. Oh, all right.
Never mind, then.
Copy !req
414. Hank! No!
Copy !req
415. Some ape threw a kid
off the roof!
Copy !req
416. Take him, Archer!
I'll save the man-spawn!
Copy !req
417. Warriana, no!
Paying customers only.
Copy !req
418. Holy crap.
Whoever this villain is,
Copy !req
419. he's powerful enough
to take out Warriana!
Copy !req
420. Crusaders, convene!
Copy !req
421. Hank! Just hang on!
I'm coming!
Copy !req
422. Ow! Ah!
Who the are you?
Copy !req
423. You're dancing with the fallen
Archer now, big man!
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424. Too bad
you've got two left feet.
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425. No, no. Don't ...
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426. oh, oh, God.
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427. Shit!
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428. Don't even try it,
big stuff.
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429. Huh?
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430. Pop, I think Brock's
in trouble.
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431. Oh, just ... hello?
Hold on, son.
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432. Either I just sent you a text,
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433. or I accidentally took a picture
of my ...
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434. Ew! You did both.
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435. Emergency! Please proceed
to the panic room, Dr. Venture.
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436. I will subdue the intruders.
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437. Come on, lady, wake up!
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438. Huh?
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439. Hi.
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440. Hang on, kid.
I've got you.
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441. Who are you?
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442. Detective Richard Knight
was just an ordinary cop
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443. until the night the mob
gunned him down
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444. and left him for dead.
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445. That was the night he took
the law into his own hands.
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446. That was the night
he became... Night Dick.
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447. What?
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448. So, if I do this,
the New York chapter
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449. will put its full support
behind the new Guild?
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450. That's the deal.
Not much to ask.
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451. I-I don't know.
It's just my husband ...
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452. Is a mere level 6,
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453. whereas I am a full 10.
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454. I was gonna say "jealous"
actually.
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455. Emotions
have no place here.
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456. This thing of ours ...
this is, uh, purely business.
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457. Hit me again!
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458. The dart monkey's
still on me back,
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459. and he's screamin'
bloody murder!
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460. That's it.
I'm empty, you freak.
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461. Why are you
holdin' out on me?
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462. Man, screw this.
This is not our night.
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463. And that guy needs help.
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464. Whatever.
You can call Dr. Drew
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465. after you use your claw
to gouge out his eye.
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466. Wh... What are you,
a monster?
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467. Wh...
For the retina... thing.
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468. Just pick him up!
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469. Oh, take it!
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470. You're one hot mama!
I like a big gal!
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471. What the hell
is going on out here?
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472. Didn't I tell you people
to buzz off yesterday?
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473. Eh, just a little
pro bono super-work,
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474. courtesy of the C.A.L.!
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475. Saved your boy there
from this blond bruiser
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476. and his killer karate-bot.
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477. They're my bodyguards,
Miss Firecracker.
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478. Let them go!
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479. They're ...
they're what now?
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480. I don't even care
about the breast thing.
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481. I want to do you.
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482. 'Anna,
untie your truth lasso.
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483. What was I saying?
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484. - Aah!
- Ow!
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485. I've been waiting to do that
for weeks!
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486. That was painful.
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487. I'll take it from here,
Sergeant.
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488. Honey?
What are you doing here?
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489. Get in the car.
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490. Sergeant,
these men are poaching
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491. on Wide Wale's
exclusive arching claim
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492. on Dr. Venture
without proper permission.
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493. This is an internal matter
for the Guild.
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494. Well, I don't like it,
but, all right.
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495. Wait a minute.
There's still a Guild?
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496. Nice bluff, sweetie.
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497. Uh, honey?
I have some... bad news.
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498. 07x01
"Hostile Makeover"
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499. Sorry again
about the mix-up, citizen.
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500. We'll, uh, just get out
of your hair now.
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501. Wait a minute.
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502. You're just gonna
leave this mess?
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503. You don't have
a Captain Spackle?
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504. Only on the gold plan.
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505. Crusaders, de-convene!
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506. He laughed at the name.
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507. Keep telling you, man.
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508. I'll see you around,
Gargarean.
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509. Hyah!
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510. Welcome to New York.
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511. You okay, Hank?
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512. Yeah. I think I might have
met a girl.
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