1. Dean, stop playing with your foodCopy !req
2. and eat something.Copy !req
3. I'm not hungry.
And I'm a vegetarian now.Copy !req
4. I don't eat face.Copy !req
5. Hey, uh, more java, Doc?Copy !req
6. Oh, lord, yes.Copy !req
7. Yeah, hit me up, too, will you?Copy !req
8. Up-bap-bap.
No caffeine for this one.Copy !req
9. The last time you got ahold
of some dark chocolate,Copy !req
10. you were up two nights straight
destroying my wallsCopy !req
11. to build a Murphy bed.Copy !req
12. Murphy beds. You still haven't
found all of them.Copy !req
13. I'm that good!Copy !req
14. Well, let's just see
how good you areCopy !req
15. at getting those dishes
spotless, huh?Copy !req
16. You're on K.P., little man.Copy !req
17. Mmm!Copy !req
18. Oh, don't rub it in!Copy !req
19. What is this, Arabica?Copy !req
20. Blackhawk.Copy !req
21. Huh. Never heard of it.
Mountain grown?Copy !req
22. No, military.
One of ours.Copy !req
23. And it's on our roof now.Copy !req
24. Boo-yah!
Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup!Copy !req
25. May I be excused?Copy !req
26. All clear, sir.
Kitchen is secure.Copy !req
27. As you were, soldiers.Copy !req
28. Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup!
Hup! Hup!Copy !req
29. Dr. Venture, we need
to ticky-talk.Copy !req
30. The army doesn't have a phone?Copy !req
31. No, you don't.Copy !req
32. My boys cut your lines
as a security precaution.Copy !req
33. Great! I'll add that
to the bill for my windows.Copy !req
34. What the hell is this about?Copy !req
35. Pack your bags
for tropical climes!Copy !req
36. A piece of ordnance you sold me
is on the fritz.Copy !req
37. I need you on site
down in Puerto BahiaCopy !req
38. to fix it... ASAP!Copy !req
39. What, did you lose the manual?
What do you need me for?Copy !req
40. 'Cause it's still under
warranty,Copy !req
41. and it'll only talk to you.Copy !req
42. Dean!Copy !req
43. Dean?
We're going on an adventure.Copy !req
44. Yay for you.Copy !req
45. I take it from
your oh-so-jejune retortCopy !req
46. you're not coming then?Copy !req
47. Fine. Well, if Ted calls,
take a messageCopy !req
48. and tell him I'll be back
in like a day or two, okay?Copy !req
49. Dean?Copy !req
50. I said okay!Copy !req
51. Oh, no, you d...
He didn't, right?Copy !req
52. Did you hear him?Copy !req
53. Hey, boy. You look kind of blue.Copy !req
54. Something bugging you?Copy !req
55. I think I might.Copy !req
56. You're not happy being a giant
robot spider are you?Copy !req
57. Walking eye. Sorry.Copy !req
58. I know how you feel.Copy !req
59. I don't really wanna be
what Pop wants me to be, either.Copy !req
60. Boy, these jPads your brother concoctedCopy !req
61. are something else, huh?Copy !req
62. Look at us... briefing
on the go at 30,000 feet.Copy !req
63. Whoo-ee!Copy !req
64. Meh, I miss
the old-school briefings...Copy !req
65. The smoke-filled rooms,Copy !req
66. the soft clatter
of the projector...Copy !req
67. Yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
68. You been following the news
out of Puerto Bahia?Copy !req
69. 'Course not.
It's classified.Copy !req
70. Well, a bunch
of no-good commiesCopy !req
71. been trying to take
over the place.Copy !req
72. Communists?
Wow. They still make those?Copy !req
73. And Uncle Sam, he's good pals
with El Presidente.Copy !req
74. He told us to give him
a helping hand.Copy !req
75. Only he don't want to leave
no fingerprints.Copy !req
76. And that's why we sent your
Venturestein down there...Copy !req
77. Put the kamikaze kibosh
on their little revolution.Copy !req
78. And then just like that...Copy !req
79. Poof!
They vanished.Copy !req
80. Now, we believe he absconded
with the rest of the steinsCopy !req
81. to the jungle southwest
of Capital City.Copy !req
82. Believe? If you're not even
sure where he is,Copy !req
83. how am I supposed to find him?Copy !req
84. With the one thing you didn't
screw up the first time.Copy !req
85. Radioactive dye you juiced him
with... jPad hereCopy !req
86. can track it once you're
within a couple of klicks.Copy !req
87. There's an app for that.Copy !req
88. You mean a trap for that!Copy !req
89. - Say again?
- What?Copy !req
90. Venturestein is luring us there!Copy !req
91. He wants to meet his maker
face-to-face so he can kill you.Copy !req
92. Hank, don't be paranoid.Copy !req
93. Venturestein and I got along
famously.Copy !req
94. That's exactly why we think
he'll let you in close.Copy !req
95. I'm just saying.Copy !req
96. If we get there and he's in
a pair of bicycle shortsCopy !req
97. talking about
"Tears in the Rain,"Copy !req
98. you run like hell
because he is thereCopy !req
99. to smush your head!Copy !req
100. Ah, you ain't gotta worryCopy !req
101. about him going
all "Roy Batty" on you.Copy !req
102. If you can't talk him down,
all you gotta doCopy !req
103. is click that little icon
that looks like a cherry bomb.Copy !req
104. - Then what?
- Then you run like hell.Copy !req
105. 'Cause that jPad
you're holding comesCopy !req
106. fat-packed
with factory-installed C-4.Copy !req
107. W-Wait!
You want me to kill him?Copy !req
108. No, he was already dead
once, man!Copy !req
109. Where's your moral dilemma?Copy !req
110. No, it's not that!
It's just you, uh...Copy !req
111. haven't mentioned
the little matter of my...Copy !req
112. compensation.Copy !req
113. Oh, right. Right.
Let me see here...Copy !req
114. I'm already out of pocket here
on supersonic jet fuel...Copy !req
115. How's this for
out of pocket, huh?Copy !req
116. 'Cause that's exactly what you
gave your Uncle SamCopy !req
117. when you sold him a bushel
of dead lemons!Copy !req
118. Now fix it!Copy !req
119. Attention, unidentified aircraft.Copy !req
120. You are entering
controlled airspace.Copy !req
121. Turn back now.
- Uh, hello?Copy !req
122. This is
Dr. Thaddeus S. Venture.Copy !req
123. - To whom am I speaking?
- We got incoming.Copy !req
124. - I'm out of here.
- What the heck?Copy !req
125. Too big to be a missile,
too slow to be a jet.Copy !req
126. What could...Copy !req
127. - We lost cabin pressure!
- Really?Copy !req
128. - That's what concerns you.
- Go time!Copy !req
129. All right, do not deploy 'til
you're below 500 feetCopy !req
130. so the enemy won't spot
your chutes.Copy !req
131. If we lose each other
in the shit,Copy !req
132. regroup at rendezvous point
at 2400 hours!Copy !req
133. Rende...
Hank, wait!Copy !req
134. - Please be prompt!
- That's not a...Copy !req
135. This is not a parachute!Copy !req
136. Good gravy. That boy is
gonna get himself killed!Copy !req
137. Yeah, like we're doing great.Copy !req
138. Can't... shake him!
Get off, you damn pest!Copy !req
139. Yeah, I think Hank might have
had the right idea.Copy !req
140. Hang on!Copy !req
141. Oh, this is much better.Copy !req
142. At least I got a clear shot now.Copy !req
143. Don't!Copy !req
144. Aah!Copy !req
145. Aah!Copy !req
146. Uh...Copy !req
147. ah!Copy !req
148. Uh-huh.Copy !req
149. Aah!Copy !req
150. Well, hi, there, Mister,
uh, Venture.Copy !req
151. My name is Marsha Backwood,Copy !req
152. and I am running for
re-electionCopy !req
153. to the United States Congress.Copy !req
154. Uh, 'Kay.Copy !req
155. Oh, pardon me.
Buenos días.Copy !req
156. Dónde estás Señor Ventura?Copy !req
157. Puerta Bahia.Copy !req
158. Uh, I'm sorry.
That's all the Spanish I know.Copy !req
159. No, he went to Puerto Bahia.Copy !req
160. Oh!Copy !req
161. Well, do you know
when he'll be back?Copy !req
162. Return-o a casa?Copy !req
163. No!Copy !req
164. The army dragged him away
for something.Copy !req
165. Now, Buenas tardes.
I'm busy here!Copy !req
166. Get me General Manhowers.Copy !req
167. And find out
if that gardener's legal.Copy !req
168. Okay, H.E.L.P.Er.,Copy !req
169. I'm just gonna
switch you off first while...Copy !req
170. Aah! No! Easy, boy!
It's okay!Copy !req
171. I promise it won't hurt!
H.E.L.P.Er.!Copy !req
172. Wait!Copy !req
173. I can make it all better!Copy !req
174. Well, h.E.L.P.Er. should
be here any minute,Copy !req
175. assuming he survived the crash.Copy !req
176. Survived the... you know
we didn't bring H.E.L.P.Er.Copy !req
177. With us, right?Copy !req
178. Ri-I-ght.Copy !req
179. Um, any luck getting Hank?Copy !req
180. Dead.Copy !req
181. His watch, I mean.Copy !req
182. Static.
I'm getting a lot of...Copy !req
183. Nobody's dead, just put that...Copy !req
184. Yeah, all right, all right.Copy !req
185. Well, let's just wait here
'til he shows up then.Copy !req
186. Without that jPad,Copy !req
187. I don't have a clue
where we're going anyway.Copy !req
188. Dr. Venture? Dr. Venture!
Come on, now, pick up.Copy !req
189. Aw, I got nothing but sky here.Copy !req
190. What in blazes?Copy !req
191. Ugh, I'm gonna throw up!Copy !req
192. You!Copy !req
193. Ugh, god, I hate the jungle.Copy !req
194. It's hot. It's damp.
Everything's alive.Copy !req
195. Here, look at this.
See this stick?Copy !req
196. No, you don't.Copy !req
197. 'Cause guess what...
It's a bug.Copy !req
198. It's a stick bug.Copy !req
199. Ugh! Disgusting.
And that's not all!Copy !req
200. Shh! You hear something?Copy !req
201. I hear you changing my subject.Copy !req
202. Someone's coming. Get down!Copy !req
203. Ugh, urine everywhere!Copy !req
204. Shh!Copy !req
205. What the hell are those things?Copy !req
206. They weren't in the briefing.Copy !req
207. - You didn't make them?
- No!Copy !req
208. Oh, crap, he heard you.
He's looking right at us.Copy !req
209. - What do we do?
- We make a break for it.Copy !req
210. I'll divert them, you run west.Copy !req
211. Ready?
Now!Copy !req
212. Hey, pretty boy!
Jocelyn Wildenstein called!Copy !req
213. She wants her face back!Copy !req
214. Oh, my god!
This was a bad idea!Copy !req
215. Cheetah-man is crazy-fast!Copy !req
216. I do not know
what I was thinking!Copy !req
217. Climb up a tree!
Cheetahs can't climb!Copy !req
218. They don't have
retractable claws!Copy !req
219. Neither do I!Copy !req
220. Oh, I am being disemboweled!Copy !req
221. For the love of God, shake
a bag of pounce at him!Copy !req
222. Aah!Copy !req
223. Hank's war journal,
entry number one.Copy !req
224. I don't know how long I was out.Copy !req
225. The rumble in my tummy tells meCopy !req
226. it's been at least four hours.Copy !req
227. Hank's war journal,
entry number two.Copy !req
228. My team failed to rendezvous,Copy !req
229. and they're not answering
their watches.Copy !req
230. I am on my own,
stranded behind enemy lines.Copy !req
231. I'll need my strength to
set up base camp.Copy !req
232. Thankfully, mother nature
provides for her children.Copy !req
233. Hmm.Copy !req
234. Huh?Copy !req
235. Father!Copy !req
236. Hank was right!Copy !req
237. Venturestein terribly sorry.Copy !req
238. N-Not mean do that.Copy !req
239. Uh, old habit.Copy !req
240. Wow. Your diction's
really come a long wayCopy !req
241. since I last saw you.Copy !req
242. Good Venturestein.Copy !req
243. Yes, army teach Venturestein
make more good diction.Copy !req
244. Yeah, syntax...
Not so much.Copy !req
245. Army also teach Venturestein salute.Copy !req
246. Teach make bed.
Teach kill.Copy !req
247. Sounds like the army hadCopy !req
248. a real positive
influence on your life.Copy !req
249. Why don't we just
take you back...Copy !req
250. No!
Venturestein never go back!Copy !req
251. Army make Venturestein
come here,Copy !req
252. infiltrate revolution peoples.Copy !req
253. Orders make self-terminate
when discover.Copy !req
254. Several Stein obey.Copy !req
255. That when Venturestein see him.Copy !req
256. He older, but Venturestein
still recognize...Copy !req
257. Is Jorgé, little shoe boyCopy !req
258. from Father teach films!Copy !req
259. He not know Venturestein,
of course.Copy !req
260. But after he stop scream,
we make good talk.Copy !req
261. Jorgé open Venturestein eyesCopy !req
262. to exploitation of proletariat.Copy !req
263. Change Venturestein whole outlook.Copy !req
264. That when Venturestein decide
quit army,Copy !req
265. go to jungle.Copy !req
266. So, you fell in
with a bad crowd.Copy !req
267. You're feeling rebellious...
That's adolescence!Copy !req
268. Listen to your father, here.Copy !req
269. My Dean is going
through the same thing.Copy !req
270. Let go of me!
Let go, you undead bastards!Copy !req
271. I demand to be heard!Copy !req
272. Is okay.
State grievance, comrade.Copy !req
273. Why haven't you slain
this scientist yet?Copy !req
274. Karl, we discuss.
Need Father to...Copy !req
275. He killed Turu!Copy !req
276. We found her body
next to his plane.Copy !req
277. He deserves to die!Copy !req
278. Him and his chubby girlfriend.Copy !req
279. Is true?Copy !req
280. That's... he's not my
girlfriend, he's my bodyguard.Copy !req
281. Turu part!Copy !req
282. Um, is Turu a pterodactyl?Copy !req
283. Pteranodon, you monster!Copy !req
284. See?
He not even good at science.Copy !req
285. Father bring no pain to Karl.Copy !req
286. Karl go outside, maybe.
Cool off.Copy !req
287. I'll walk myself out!Copy !req
288. Karl mark his territory.Copy !req
289. Send Venturestein
not subtle message.Copy !req
290. Friend of yours?Copy !req
291. Karl sometimes hothead.Copy !req
292. Karl not have good father
like... like Venturestein!Copy !req
293. Venturestein find Karl father
lab few klick from here.Copy !req
294. Experiment on Karl
with bad hurt-science.Copy !req
295. Venturestein liberate.Copy !req
296. Venturestein learn
jungle very popularCopy !req
297. with bad scientist.Copy !req
298. Secret science hurt-camp
everywhere!Copy !req
299. Liberate all!Copy !req
300. New friends join Venturestein.
Become new army.Copy !req
301. Come here, all together!Copy !req
302. Make home.Copy !req
303. That why Venturestein
need Father.Copy !req
304. Father tell other scientists
no more hurt-science!Copy !req
305. Tell them free Venturestein
brother and sister.Copy !req
306. Look, I know you
think your father is SupermanCopy !req
307. and I can do anything,Copy !req
308. but I'm gonna level
with you here...Copy !req
309. I don't have a whole lot of swayCopy !req
310. in the science scene these days.Copy !req
311. What this? Father make army box
blow up Venturestein?Copy !req
312. No! No! I-l was...
Please be careful with that!Copy !req
313. Father bad!Copy !req
314. Sonnystein! Tedstein!
Take Father!Copy !req
315. Father not help Venturestein.Copy !req
316. Venturestein help himself.Copy !req
317. Wait!Copy !req
318. Army box make internet?Copy !req
319. Hank's War Journal,
star date 2112.Copy !req
320. Sleep would not come to me.Copy !req
321. The jungle would not allow it.Copy !req
322. She has clutched me to her
bountiful bosomCopy !req
323. and nourished me,Copy !req
324. which is kind of nice 'cause
I never had a mommy.Copy !req
325. But she demands a sacrifice
in return.Copy !req
326. I've vomited and diarrheaed outCopy !req
327. whatever was left
of my old life.Copy !req
328. My Hank's run dry.Copy !req
329. I'm but an empty vessel,Copy !req
330. waiting for the jungle
to fill me with new purpose.Copy !req
331. Only through her
will I be reborn.Copy !req
332. But, pray tell,
what new Hank will emergeCopy !req
333. from her hot, green womb?Copy !req
334. Huh?Copy !req
335. Yes, mother.Copy !req
336. I shall become...
a bat.Copy !req
337. Oh!Copy !req
338. I'm sorry sir, I-l tried
to stop her, but...Copy !req
339. General Manhowers, did you
abduct one of my constituents?Copy !req
340. Need I remind you that we haveCopy !req
341. a constitution in this country,
sir...Copy !req
342. And this is an election year.Copy !req
343. Now, don't get your tea cozy
in a bunch,Copy !req
344. little miss sunshine.Copy !req
345. Dr. Venture volunteered
to consultCopy !req
346. on a matter of national...Copy !req
347. Why, this is him right now.Copy !req
348. - Hello. I Venturestein.
- W-What's he...Copy !req
349. Nah, nah, nah.
This ain't right!Copy !req
350. I speak now to brother
and sister comradeCopy !req
351. still in bondage
with message of hope.Copy !req
352. U.R.G.H.!Copy !req
353. We United Repressed Grotesque
Humanity!Copy !req
354. We here help all who suffer
from scientist everywhere!Copy !req
355. You who made in laboratory,
and in toxic swamp.Copy !req
356. You vivisected angel
who suffer in silence.Copy !req
357. Venturestein feel your pain!Copy !req
358. Break free!Copy !req
359. Children of the atom,Copy !req
360. break free from scientist shackle!Copy !req
361. U.R.G.H., welcome you
with open arms!Copy !req
362. Come... come to land where
you accepted.Copy !req
363. Eh, this is going great, huh?Copy !req
364. Remind me never to take
government work again.Copy !req
365. They called us "abomination,"Copy !req
366. but together we build
abomi-nation!Copy !req
367. U.R.G.H.!Copy !req
368. Holy crap!Copy !req
369. He ain't just gone off
the reservation...Copy !req
370. He's opening
his own damn casino!Copy !req
371. Where'd she go?Copy !req
372. You who made in laboratory
and in toxic swamp.Copy !req
373. You vivisected angel
who suffer in silence.Copy !req
374. Aah!Copy !req
375. Venturestein feel your pain!Copy !req
376. Break free!Copy !req
377. No!Copy !req
378. What's going on over there?Copy !req
379. Nothing!
The bed creaked.Copy !req
380. Venturestein!Copy !req
381. Venturestein!
Come out here!Copy !req
382. Zoink! Is angry mob!Copy !req
383. They have torches?Copy !req
384. Give us the scientist!Copy !req
385. He is of no more use to you.Copy !req
386. We demand justice for Turu!Copy !req
387. Yeah, we executed
all our science guys.Copy !req
388. Why is yours so special?Copy !req
389. Please, comrades.
Time for bloodshed over.Copy !req
390. We dawn of new era.Copy !req
391. Soon, new brothers and sisters come.Copy !req
392. How do you know
that they'll come?Copy !req
393. And where do you expect
to put them all?Copy !req
394. Seriously, have you thought
this through at all?Copy !req
395. Our capacity to absorb
an influx of immigrants?Copy !req
396. We have zero infrastructure!Copy !req
397. Please, comrades.Copy !req
398. We need a real leader
who is not afraid to fight!Copy !req
399. Who is with me?Copy !req
400. Look, these are all
important issues,Copy !req
401. but what I want to know is...Copy !req
402. What are you gonna do
about The Bat?Copy !req
403. You guys haven't heard
about this?Copy !req
404. Like a massive bat creature.Copy !req
405. He's been terrorizing us
out on patrol.Copy !req
406. Wait.
We don't have a bat guy?Copy !req
407. - Bat guy?
- No.Copy !req
408. Hank.Copy !req
409. Then we will hunt this bat!Copy !req
410. And we will kill The Bat!Copy !req
411. And when we have done this,Copy !req
412. we are coming back for them!Copy !req
413. Yeah!Copy !req
414. He was so fast.Copy !req
415. Maybe even faster than you,
Karl.Copy !req
416. I heard he's invisible.Copy !req
417. I heard he can walk
through walls!Copy !req
418. He's just a man.Copy !req
419. A boy.Copy !req
420. A boy with a tummyache.Copy !req
421. Aah!Copy !req
422. Ah! Damn it!Copy !req
423. Have no fear, General.Copy !req
424. Huh?Copy !req
425. The mission is in my hands now.Copy !req
426. - Who the hell is this now?
- A friend.Copy !req
427. Huh?
Is that the Venture boy?Copy !req
428. You look affright, son.Copy !req
429. You need to have yourself
a lie-down.Copy !req
430. Go.Copy !req
431. Thank you, Venturestein.Copy !req
432. Batman!Copy !req
433. Hank!Copy !req
434. Hank's gone.
Call me... The Bat.Copy !req
435. I'll call you a cab.
I think you've had one too many.Copy !req
436. Ah, leave me.
Save yourselves.Copy !req
437. Oh, stop with the drama.
You're not hurt that bad.Copy !req
438. No, really.
Leave me. I want to stay.Copy !req
439. All right, what'd you drink?
You're talking as crazy as Hank.Copy !req
440. Crazy is spending
your whole lifeCopy !req
441. trying to be something
you're not.Copy !req
442. I'm a freak, Doc.
A-A monster.Copy !req
443. I can't hack it
in the straight world.Copy !req
444. L-I want to spend
my autumn yearsCopy !req
445. in a place
where I'll be accepted,Copy !req
446. with a vaguely paramilitary vibeCopy !req
447. and absolutely
no children whatsoever.Copy !req
448. There they are! Slaughter them!Copy !req
449. Let's get the fuck out of here!Copy !req
450. To the Hankmobile!Copy !req
451. Head for the beach.Copy !req
452. All right, now what?Copy !req
453. Tell me you've
got a Hank-boat.Copy !req
454. Wait for it!Copy !req
455. In 5... 4...Copy !req
456. 3...Copy !req
457. Tsk, tsk, tsk.Copy !req
458. The jungle's no place
for a jPad.Copy !req
459. They get wet, the warranty
is voided... awful.Copy !req
460. I got
nothing left, Pop.Copy !req
461. I'm getting drowsy.
Whoo.Copy !req
462. Shouldn't have had that
big crab dinnerCopy !req
463. before the mission.Copy !req
464. No, look, I-I'm not like
the other scientists, okay?Copy !req
465. You wanna know what Venturestein
was doing before this?Copy !req
466. He was dead!Copy !req
467. And before that,
he was a henchmanCopy !req
468. for some prick
in a butterfly costume.Copy !req
469. Two, actually.Copy !req
470. I saved him!
I gave him life!Copy !req
471. H.E.L.P.Er.!
Thank heaven!Copy !req
472. Kill these guys!Copy !req
473. Wait! Look!Copy !req
474. On the horizon!Copy !req
475. You see, comrades?Copy !req
476. Is glorious new dawn
Venturestein promise.Copy !req
477. Abomi-nation all come...
By sea and by air!Copy !req
478. Excuse me!
Pardon-a me!Copy !req
479. That man you're holdingCopy !req
480. is a citizen of
the United States!Copy !req
481. I am Congresswoman
Marsha Backwood,Copy !req
482. and I am here to negotiate h...Copy !req
483. Oh, did somebody lose an iPad?Copy !req
484. Yeah, I can fix this.Copy !req
485. And fresh from her recent
fact-finding mission,Copy !req
486. here to give us her unique
perspectiveCopy !req
487. on this Puerto Bahia situationCopy !req
488. is Congresswoman
Marsha Backwood.Copy !req
489. Thank you,
Mr. Secretary-General.Copy !req
490. I here today tell all...Copy !req
491. Abomi-nation proud,
hearty people.Copy !req
492. Boys? Come on down.
It's on.Copy !req
493. Dean?Copy !req
494. Hank?Copy !req
495. Hold on, stop! Stop! Stop!Copy !req
496. What the "F"?Copy !req
497. H.E.L.P.Er. sounds like
crap now.Copy !req
498. I know, right?
Man, friggin' Dean.Copy !req