1. You're probably asking yourself —Copy !req
2. how did it all come to this?Copy !req
3. How did I get here when there wereCopy !req
4. so many paths I could have chosen?Copy !req
5. Great! I need this now, too?Copy !req
6. Yet another dead end, Venture!Copy !req
7. And as you look back on your pathetic life,Copy !req
8. you'll see that it was all just one long,Copy !req
9. winding, inevitable road
to this very moment...Copy !req
10. But I won't let you off
that easily, Venture.Copy !req
11. You will have your date with death,Copy !req
12. but she's gonna have to sit this one out...Copy !req
13. for the Monarch has the first dance!Copy !req
14. Dance! Dance, little man!Copy !req
15. How does it feel to be a
helpless puppet of fate?Copy !req
16. Oh, sorry.Copy !req
17. We're gonna have to
pick it up here another time.Copy !req
18. What?Copy !req
19. It's Wednesday night.
I have my therapy.Copy !req
20. What the hell is he talking about?Copy !req
21. Uh, new Guild clemency clause.Copy !req
22. Mental health arch exclusion.Copy !req
23. Let me see that.Copy !req
24. Oh, damn it to— Ah-ha!Copy !req
25. It says here you're
excused only if you haveCopy !req
26. a note from your doctor.Copy !req
27. Got one right here.Copy !req
28. It's, uh, it's in my pocket.Copy !req
29. Well, Venture, if I can't murder you today,Copy !req
30. at least it would appear
I have finally succeededCopy !req
31. in driving you insane!Copy !req
32. That's not necessarily true.Copy !req
33. People see therapists
for all kinds of reasons.Copy !req
34. Man, when my wife left me,
I went through a pretty bad—Copy !req
35. Okay, henchmen! That's a wrap!Copy !req
36. Abort mayhem, and fall in!Copy !req
37. Hey, hey hey! What's with the bitching?Copy !req
38. You don't want a night off?Copy !req
39. You got lucky this time, old man.Copy !req
40. Oh, in your dreams, fat back!Copy !req
41. So... I don't know.Copy !req
42. Sometimes I wish I could
just be a normal kid,Copy !req
43. and go out and play with
kids my own age and stuff.Copy !req
44. The only people I get to
hang out with are grown-ups.Copy !req
45. The only time I get to leave the compoundCopy !req
46. is to go someplace creepy,
like the Bermuda Triangle.Copy !req
47. And then I get kidnapped.Copy !req
48. By grown-ups.Copy !req
49. And I'm not even sure
I wanna be a super scientistCopy !req
50. when I grow up anyway.Copy !req
51. But I feel all this pressure
because of my fa—Copy !req
52. It feels weird telling you all this stuff.Copy !req
53. Remember, Rusty —Copy !req
54. in here, I'm your doctor, not your father.Copy !req
55. Now let's get back to it, shall we?Copy !req
56. You were telling me how
you're ungrateful for allCopy !req
57. the opportunities your
father has given you,Copy !req
58. and you blame me for all your problems.Copy !req
59. So, you can see why I've been reluctantCopy !req
60. to go back into therapy.Copy !req
61. Well, I hope you'll find this a
much healthier environmentCopy !req
62. in which to begin a new adventure...Copy !req
63. of healing.Copy !req
64. Because you're not in it alone anymore.Copy !req
65. Everyone, let's all welcome
Rusty to our little group.Copy !req
66. Hi, Rusty!Copy !req
67. Everyone here can relate to
what you're going through, Rusty.Copy !req
68. As boy adventurers,
they've been there, too.Copy !req
69. So, I think maybe a good
way for us to get started tonightCopy !req
70. is if we just quickly go around the room,Copy !req
71. and each of you tells
Rusty a little about yourselfCopy !req
72. and your journey to the group.Copy !req
73. Me first?Copy !req
74. Well, I have a bit of an eating disorder.Copy !req
75. Nooo.Copy !req
76. Lance, wait your turn.Copy !req
77. As a superhero sidekick,Copy !req
78. I led a very active, athletic lifestyle.Copy !req
79. But when I turned 18, and I was,Copy !req
80. shall we say, replaced with a newer model,Copy !req
81. uh, I started putting the weight on.Copy !req
82. Then I'd eat more because I was depressed.Copy !req
83. And...Copy !req
84. I have abandonment issues?Copy !req
85. More?Copy !req
86. Tell Rusty your name.Copy !req
87. Oh, well, that's a tricky one.Copy !req
88. Uh, yeah, the latest
drama in my caped crusadeCopy !req
89. against Captain Sunshine's lawyersCopy !req
90. is I get to keep most of the costume,Copy !req
91. but I'm no longer allowed
to call myself Wonder BoyCopy !req
92. when I appear in public.Copy !req
93. Mall openings.Copy !req
94. - Lance.
- My turn?Copy !req
95. Um, Lance Hale.Copy !req
96. One half of the world-famous Hale brothers.Copy !req
97. Boy detectives? You've heard of us.Copy !req
98. I'm here because my
allegedly twin brother DaleCopy !req
99. is still having trouble getting
over our father's death.Copy !req
100. Still...Copy !req
101. I can still see his face
through the soft focusCopy !req
102. of the steam from his pooling bloodCopy !req
103. as he lay sputtering on the cold linoleum.Copy !req
104. Punch buggy depressing!Copy !req
105. Nobody wants to hear that crap, Dale.Copy !req
106. Sorry.Copy !req
107. We didn't just lose our dad that night.Copy !req
108. His murder remains our
only unsolved case ever.Copy !req
109. We had to quit the business
because the shame was just—Copy !req
110. Pfft! Yeah.Copy !req
111. Retiring at 30 on Daddy's famous fortuneCopy !req
112. must have been real hard on you.Copy !req
113. For your information, Action Junkie,Copy !req
114. he bequeathed most of it to
the local boy detective academy.Copy !req
115. We hardly got dickCopy !req
116. because nothing we did
was ever good enough for him!Copy !req
117. He did leave us that nice car.Copy !req
118. It's totally fucking cherry!Copy !req
119. But that is not the point, Dale.Copy !req
120. And don't interrupt me again or
I'll swear I'll so fucking sock you.Copy !req
121. Uh, Johnny, how about you
tell Rusty why you're here.Copy !req
122. Ah, Rusty knows me from
way back, so we can skip—Copy !req
123. just go to Ro-Boy.Copy !req
124. Hi, hi, Doctor Venture.Copy !req
125. My name is Ro-Boy—Copy !req
126. But I just wanna point out I'm only hereCopy !req
127. 'cause Action Johnny had himselfCopy !req
128. a little run-in with Johnny LawCopy !req
129. and was ordered to attend by Johnny Judge.Copy !req
130. Not my fault. Somebody else's.Copy !req
131. Interesting.Copy !req
132. Group, do you see how
Johnny views his whole worldCopy !req
133. as some sort of cabal of Johnnies whoCopy !req
134. are conspiring to undermine him?Copy !req
135. That's what we call paranoid projection,Copy !req
136. and it's a classic expression
of narcissistic rage.Copy !req
137. It's a figure of speech, dude.Copy !req
138. And the judge's name was actually John.Copy !req
139. It's, like, the most
common name in the world.Copy !req
140. Wrong! That would be Muhammed.
Googled it.Copy !req
141. Lance, the Blackberry
stays off during share time.Copy !req
142. That goes for everyone.Copy !req
143. Please turn off all cell phones,
view comms,Copy !req
144. 2-way TV wrist communciators,
what have you.Copy !req
145. Beep boop.Copy !req
146. What was that?Copy !req
147. I... just turned off the
radio in my utility belt,Copy !req
148. like he said to.Copy !req
149. You said "beep boop." With your mouth.Copy !req
150. No, I didn't. Leave me alone.Copy !req
151. Boys, this is really
something we can get intoCopy !req
152. during our confessionals.Copy !req
153. Ten bucks for a dang movie,Copy !req
154. another ten for popped corn,Copy !req
155. and then they got the
gall to make you sit throughCopy !req
156. a bunch of paid advertisements.Copy !req
157. Ugh, that Kid Rock one for the army...Copy !req
158. Look, there's a whole
empty row right there.Copy !req
159. Let's just move up one.Copy !req
160. It's too close for my kinetosis.Copy !req
161. I get nauseous during the battles.Copy !req
162. Awful lot of kids here, huh?Copy !req
163. You're never too young for enchantment.Copy !req
164. What is— No!Copy !req
165. No, no, no!Copy !req
166. Aw, come on!Copy !req
167. My dad's lab was like a
pharmacological candy store,Copy !req
168. so I started real young.Copy !req
169. Next thing I know,
I'm blowing lines of voodoo powderCopy !req
170. off the back of a monkey's paw
I bought in Calcutta.Copy !req
171. Now I'm all out of wishes.Copy !req
172. I wasn't even allowed to wear long pantsCopy !req
173. until I left for college.Copy !req
174. Is it any wonder I didn't lose my virginityCopy !req
175. until I was over 20?Copy !req
176. So dumb-ass here is so
freaked out by the mess,Copy !req
177. he forgets 20 years of detective trainingCopy !req
178. and actually picks up the shotgunCopy !req
179. with his bare hands.Copy !req
180. Well, I just instinctively reached outCopy !req
181. to stop him, of course.Copy !req
182. And so, that's how both our sets of printsCopy !req
183. ended up on the murder weapon.Copy !req
184. I tried to be good.Copy !req
185. I just can't help myself sometimes.Copy !req
186. When I see a giant robot I just get so mad,Copy !req
187. I wanna beat them up!Copy !req
188. And then I wanna burn them!Copy !req
189. Sometimes I wanna burn the whole world!Copy !req
190. I mean, I can't even get an erection nowCopy !req
191. unless I'm tied to a chair with
a timebomb taped to my chest.Copy !req
192. From this, the realm of the Spider KingCopy !req
193. through the realm of the Tree People,Copy !req
194. to the realm...Copy !req
195. Awful lot of realms in this thing.Copy !req
196. Hey, the little feller with the ax,Copy !req
197. what's his deal again?Copy !req
198. That's Grimsby. He's a troll.Copy !req
199. I like him. He's got moxie.Copy !req
200. Shh! It's unbelievable!Copy !req
201. Who comes to the last movie in a trilogyCopy !req
202. without seeing the first two?Copy !req
203. Hot cha! Who's that fresh tomato?Copy !req
204. - Shh!
- That's Anastos.Copy !req
205. He's the prince of the Elven realm.Copy !req
206. He? That's a fella?Copy !req
207. My God, he's beautiful!Copy !req
208. He looks like a, like a little
white chocolate doll boy.Copy !req
209. Technically, his people
don't have a gender.Copy !req
210. And they don't age.Copy !req
211. They just stay 13 forever!Copy !req
212. What? Did Henry Darger write this?Copy !req
213. What the hell kind of movie
did you drag me to?Copy !req
214. Shh!Copy !req
215. Why don't you shush those wings?Copy !req
216. Hey, don't blame me, man.Copy !req
217. We wouldn't be sitting here
if your dad didn't pull a section 8.Copy !req
218. Yeah, and you're not
allowed to arch us without him.Copy !req
219. Who's arching? I'm trying to watch a movie.Copy !req
220. Well, you're ruining my
whole cinematic experience.Copy !req
221. And that totally counts as arching.Copy !req
222. I can't take it!Copy !req
223. I gotta get outta here.Copy !req
224. Excuse me. Pardon.Copy !req
225. I'm an angry native. Booga boogal!Copy !req
226. What are you gonna do!Copy !req
227. - Uh, shoot him?
- You don't have a gun.Copy !req
228. Uh, get a grown-up to shoot him?Copy !req
229. You're all alone in this jungle.Copy !req
230. Er? Run and hide?Copy !req
231. No more running! No more hiding.Copy !req
232. Confront your problem head on!Copy !req
233. Okay, uh.Copy !req
234. - How about just talking to him.
- T-Talking?Copy !req
235. Yes, he's an angry native
but he's also a person.Copy !req
236. Start a dialogue.Copy !req
237. Uh, okay. Um...Copy !req
238. Why you guys always chase me with spears?Copy !req
239. You parked your giant iron ThunderbirdCopy !req
240. on my ancestors' burial ground.Copy !req
241. I did?Copy !req
242. I'm afraid you're a trickster GodCopy !req
243. who will woo my women away
and fly them to your sky hut.Copy !req
244. Well, I... I did not know that.Copy !req
245. I'm... sorry?Copy !req
246. I accept your apology. Now hug me.Copy !req
247. I don't— I don't—Copy !req
248. O—Okay.Copy !req
249. There. See how easy that was?Copy !req
250. We all have our own inner angry natives.Copy !req
251. And our minds invent a million waysCopy !req
252. to avoid confronting them directly.Copy !req
253. But if you just look them in the eyeCopy !req
254. and ask them why they're
chasing you with spears,Copy !req
255. you just might learn something...Copy !req
256. about yourself.Copy !req
257. Question?Copy !req
258. Uh, yeah.Copy !req
259. In my line of boy adventuring,Copy !req
260. I didn't really deal
with angry natives, so...Copy !req
261. Yeah, us neither.Copy !req
262. Then call them whatever works
for your specific genre's idiom.Copy !req
263. Inner international
jewel thief, for instance.Copy !req
264. Inner supervillain.Copy !req
265. Inner jelly doughnut...Copy !req
266. Inner giant robot works.Copy !req
267. Johnny, you can stop
hugging the native now.Copy !req
268. Come on, guys.Copy !req
269. By the way, you never botheredCopy !req
270. to ask the little fella his name.Copy !req
271. Oh! Um...Copy !req
272. Eh, what's— what's your name?Copy !req
273. Chemical Dependence.Copy !req
274. See what I just did there?Copy !req
275. Ahhhhh...Copy !req
276. Okay, um, Dr. Venture, it's your turn.Copy !req
277. All right, but uh, just do me a favorCopy !req
278. and whisper your name to meCopy !req
279. when we get to that part, okay?Copy !req
280. Ow! Charlie horse.Copy !req
281. Okay, so...Copy !req
282. Oh, we're up to the hug already?Copy !req
283. Uh, what is this? Like,
a primal scream thing?Copy !req
284. Am I supposed to—Copy !req
285. What happened?Copy !req
286. Did I just kill Premature Ejaculation?Copy !req
287. Holy vanishing vitals! He's dead!Copy !req
288. Oh, man! Oh, man!Copy !req
289. Too heavy. This is too heavy!Copy !req
290. Get out of there, Dale.
What are you trying to do?Copy !req
291. Detective work, Lance. Remember that?Copy !req
292. Rusty, smell the tea.Copy !req
293. Poison?Copy !req
294. Chamomile.Copy !req
295. But there is something else.Copy !req
296. It's familiar, but I can't—Copy !req
297. What the hell is Ro-Boy doing?Copy !req
298. Why won't he reboot?Copy !req
299. Doesn't he have one of these?Copy !req
300. Holy rigormortis.Copy !req
301. Ro-Boy made something reboot.Copy !req
302. Check it out.Copy !req
303. Whoa! Whoa! Out of the way!Copy !req
304. Dudes, get back!Copy !req
305. That is a Vietnamese two-step viper!Copy !req
306. One bite, and you're dead
before you take two steps.Copy !req
307. There's no such thing.Copy !req
308. Yeah, I'm making it up.Copy !req
309. It's right there, dude!Copy !req
310. That ain't a fucking hologram,Copy !req
311. or an old lighthouse keeper
in a rubber mask, okay?Copy !req
312. I mean there's no such snake.Copy !req
313. - That's an urban myth.
- Bro's right. I googled it.Copy !req
314. Hey, Encyclopedia Brown-noser,Copy !req
315. can you Google this thing
the hell away from me?Copy !req
316. Don't panic, Rusty.Copy !req
317. I carry snake repellant in my utility belt.Copy !req
318. I used to.Copy !req
319. Okay, panic.Copy !req
320. Why does it want me?Copy !req
321. Snake pheromones.Copy !req
322. Why?Copy !req
323. Nice work, Ro-Boy.Copy !req
324. Johnny, you're getting his files?Copy !req
325. Uh, no, I was getting prescription pads.Copy !req
326. But you want the files? Cool.Copy !req
327. Wait, wait, why do you want his files?Copy !req
328. The doctor treated a
lot of shady charactersCopy !req
329. in his other groups.Copy !req
330. I bet you real money one
of them had it out for him.Copy !req
331. Stop this. We're retired.Copy !req
332. Don't drag us into another mystery.Copy !req
333. The man tried to help us.Copy !req
334. We owe it to him. And to Dad.Copy !req
335. So maybe the guy was, what, into snakes?Copy !req
336. You don't know he was murdered.Copy !req
337. Oh, no? What's wrong with this picture?Copy !req
338. I wanna have sex with that bird?Copy !req
339. Did the doctor strike
you at all as a smoker?Copy !req
340. Holy clue and a half!Copy !req
341. The murderer must've dropped it.Copy !req
342. Exactly. No, no, don't touch that— Okay.Copy !req
343. Hey, I know this place.Copy !req
344. 'Bout five miles from here.Copy !req
345. And it ain't the kind of joint
the doc would hang out in.Copy !req
346. If you know what I mean.Copy !req
347. Then what do you say, boy adventurers?Copy !req
348. No! No!Copy !req
349. What the —Copy !req
350. Yar! I'm Anastos, prince of Elves!Copy !req
351. Well, Daphne, I believe.Copy !req
352. She got around quite a bit. But Velma?Copy !req
353. I always thought she was a—Copy !req
354. Everybody did.Copy !req
355. But I got a pack of
herpes that say otherwise.Copy !req
356. Hey, spark me up, Pyro-Boy.Copy !req
357. Sure thing!Copy !req
358. You guys ready to do this?Copy !req
359. Are you, Mr. Sweater?Copy !req
360. Could get rough in there.Copy !req
361. Don't worry, we boy detectives
know how to play hard.Copy !req
362. Yeah!Copy !req
363. Oh, yeah, we're having us
a little man adventure now.Copy !req
364. Ooh, there, that guy in the back.Copy !req
365. I recognize his face from the files.Copy !req
366. He's from the Thursday night
henchman recovery group.Copy !req
367. He is definitely not working his program.Copy !req
368. I've seen that guy before.Copy !req
369. He used to be a hench for Dr. Z.Copy !req
370. Shoulda known he was behind this.Copy !req
371. How's it going, Johnny?Copy !req
372. Sup, Francis? You're in my way, there.Copy !req
373. You've been banned, junkie.Copy !req
374. Now turn around and take
your little faggot friends with you.Copy !req
375. Or I'm gonna have to get rough with you.Copy !req
376. Hey, underpants!Copy !req
377. You mess with one boy adventurer,Copy !req
378. you mess with all of us.Copy !req
379. I think they were hoping you'd say that.Copy !req
380. Looks like you got a little
herpe on your lip there.Copy !req
381. You been kissing your wife's ass...Copy !req
382. after I put herpe in there.Copy !req
383. What?Copy !req
384. Oh, no he didn't.Copy !req
385. Yeah, yeah!Copy !req
386. Even diarrhea doesn't take this long.Copy !req
387. Where could he be?Copy !req
388. Wait, I think he called.Copy !req
389. I have, like, 12 messages.Copy !req
390. Nobody's ever left me a message before.Copy !req
391. - What do I do?
- Here.Copy !req
392. Yeah, hey, boys.Copy !req
393. Sorry to punk out on ya like that.Copy !req
394. But, I...Copy !req
395. I am backsliding big time.Copy !req
396. I had to run home to get my meds, so.Copy !req
397. Hey, boys, I'm all outta meds!Copy !req
398. And the O.S.I. folks,Copy !req
399. they don't seem to be answering my calls,Copy !req
400. so, getting a little antsy,Copy !req
401. and I've locked myself in the panic room.Copy !req
402. Oh, hey.Copy !req
403. Thought I called Princess Tinyfeet.Copy !req
404. But while I got ya on the horn,Copy !req
405. I might as well tell ya
I've been drinking again.Copy !req
406. No big surprise there!Copy !req
407. Hey, um, can we get a ride?Copy !req
408. Dude, tell me you didn't walk outCopy !req
409. before the credits were over!Copy !req
410. Okay, minor setback fellas.Copy !req
411. He was just a puppet anyway.Copy !req
412. We want the man pulling the strings.Copy !req
413. Hey, how are those balls doing, Rust?Copy !req
414. Spirit is up and roving,Copy !req
415. but Opportunity hasn't
come back online yet.Copy !req
416. All right, everyone get ready for action.Copy !req
417. Trick or treat, old man.Copy !req
418. What? Okay. Hold on.Copy !req
419. I didn't realize it was the 31st already.Copy !req
420. We have only some old
sour balls and Kraft caramels.Copy !req
421. Cut the crap, Z!Copy !req
422. Ah, if it isn't Action Johnny.Copy !req
423. To what do I owe this pleasure?Copy !req
424. Come to steal an old
man's medication again?Copy !req
425. I think you know why we're here.Copy !req
426. Big tough guy when you have
your friends with you, aren't you?Copy !req
427. - Hello again, Rusty.
- Dr. Z.Copy !req
428. Why'd you kill him, Z? To get to me?Copy !req
429. I have no idea what you're talking about.Copy !req
430. I have not arched you in years.Copy !req
431. Why would I? You're nothing but a punk!Copy !req
432. You're gonna tell me
you didn't send your flunkyCopy !req
433. to murder our therapist with
a Vietnamese two-step viper?Copy !req
434. When Dr. Z harasses you, you'll know it.Copy !req
435. A giant metal crab would
tear the roof off of your trailer.Copy !req
436. No less than six suicidal assassinsCopy !req
437. would spring from its belly!Copy !req
438. I would never stoop to striking at youCopy !req
439. through some civilian proxy.Copy !req
440. And I certainly would not
do it with a made-up snake!Copy !req
441. Lazlo, who's at the door?Copy !req
442. Just some old friends, my lovely.Copy !req
443. Are they hungry?Copy !req
444. Sergeant Hatred?Copy !req
445. Come on, open up.Copy !req
446. We want to help you!Copy !req
447. Now, boys, I locked myself
in here for your safety.Copy !req
448. I'm gonna be okay.Copy !req
449. I know what I have to do now.Copy !req
450. So just back away from the door,Copy !req
451. and go hide someplace I can't see you.Copy !req
452. Uncle Hatred's gonna
calmly exit the panic roomCopy !req
453. and head straight for the hangar.Copy !req
454. What's in the hangar? More medicine?Copy !req
455. We can get it for you.Copy !req
456. No, I'm taking the X-1
and I'm going to Thailand!Copy !req
457. Just for a little while, just so I can buyCopy !req
458. a beautiful brown little boy-girlCopy !req
459. to keep in my room
for when the urges come!Copy !req
460. You can't do that!Copy !req
461. Sure, I can!Copy !req
462. Gary Glitter told me where to get one.Copy !req
463. And Dean?Copy !req
464. Dean, wouldn't you like to haveCopy !req
465. a beautiful brown little brother/sister?Copy !req
466. No! And beautiful
boy-girls aren't the answer!Copy !req
467. You have to fight the bad urges.Copy !req
468. I can't! Not without my meds!Copy !req
469. Yes, you can! I know you can.Copy !req
470. Just do whatever you used to doCopy !req
471. before they gave you the medicine.Copy !req
472. Princess Tinyfeet!Copy !req
473. She's what I used to do.Copy !req
474. She was the only thingCopy !req
475. that ever got me over
my dirty little weakness.Copy !req
476. But she won't return my calls!Copy !req
477. Mmm.Copy !req
478. Thanks, Mrs. Z.Copy !req
479. Wow, this one really loves my cooking.Copy !req
480. I like him.Copy !req
481. Oh, thirds? Really? That's a good idea.Copy !req
482. You don't see a connection between this...Copy !req
483. and this!Copy !req
484. I can't help it. It's compulsive.Copy !req
485. I was seeing someone about it.Copy !req
486. Isn't she a treasure?Copy !req
487. Would you believe Mrs. Z
is actually older than I?Copy !req
488. Hey, just like me and Rust.Copy !req
489. I'm the older one, but he
looks like he could be my dad.Copy !req
490. That's because you've gotCopy !req
491. more chemical preservatives
in you than a twinkie.Copy !req
492. And don't try to tell me
that isn't a weave.Copy !req
493. So, a snake kills your psychiatrist,Copy !req
494. and you fly all the way down hereCopy !req
495. in the middle of the nightCopy !req
496. to beat up an old man
because of a matchbook?Copy !req
497. Yeah, sounds kind of
sloppy when you say it.Copy !req
498. When are you boys going to grow up?Copy !req
499. Didn't you get enough of this
nonsense when you were kids?Copy !req
500. We had to do something.
It was a mystery.Copy !req
501. There's always a mystery.Copy !req
502. It never ends.Copy !req
503. Not until you decide
when enough is enough.Copy !req
504. You mean just give it all up?Copy !req
505. Yes! Why not?Copy !req
506. Leave it to the next 10-year-old boyCopy !req
507. with a jetpack and a spyglass.Copy !req
508. Take it from an old man —
there is more to life.Copy !req
509. I am much happier now
that I settled down with Mrs. ZCopy !req
510. than I ever was chasing
Johnny around with a laser.Copy !req
511. I only regret that it took so
long for me to figure it out.Copy !req
512. We never had children of our own, you see.Copy !req
513. We married late.Copy !req
514. And though my lover's mountainsCopy !req
515. are both beautiful and bountiful,Copy !req
516. I'm afraid the valley
below is quite barren.Copy !req
517. I thought we could not have
kids because I was your beard.Copy !req
518. Dr. Z, Mrs. Z, would you like to adopt me?Copy !req
519. Aww, that's sweet.Copy !req
520. Dr. Z is right.Copy !req
521. You know, I should thank you guys.Copy !req
522. You all made me realize
something important tonight.Copy !req
523. I'm not alone.Copy !req
524. Band of brothers, man.Copy !req
525. No, I mean...Copy !req
526. What the hell am I doing
in therapy in the first place?Copy !req
527. I'm no drug addict.Copy !req
528. I don't have an eating disorder.Copy !req
529. And as much as I resented my father,Copy !req
530. I never wanted to kill him.Copy !req
531. Whoa, that was never proven.Copy !req
532. And most importantly, I grew up.Copy !req
533. I'm not a boy adventurer.Copy !req
534. I have my own business,
and my own family.Copy !req
535. And if you'll excuse me,Copy !req
536. I think it's high time I got back to them.Copy !req
537. Sergeant Hatred?Copy !req
538. There's someone here
who wants to talk to you.Copy !req
539. Nibblet? Honey!Copy !req
540. Now!Copy !req
541. B team —Copy !req
542. hit him!Copy !req
543. Princess!Copy !req
544. Whyyy!Copy !req
545. Thanks, dude.Copy !req
546. No, thank you.Copy !req
547. I so owed him one.Copy !req
548. Out of nowhere, there's this
big glowing viking longboatCopy !req
549. and it comes out of the clouds.Copy !req
550. And everybody who ever died
in all these films is on it,Copy !req
551. and then it carries him—Copy !req
552. - Oh, hey.
- Hey, boss!Copy !req
553. Just you in here?
Thought I heard you talking.Copy !req
554. I was pod blogging... casting... diary.Copy !req
555. Oh, so how was it?Copy !req
556. Better than the first one.Copy !req
557. I like the second one a little better.Copy !req
558. Yeah, that's what they
were saying on Ain't It Cool.Copy !req
559. Yeah, all in all, a fitting
end to the trilogy, though.Copy !req
560. Cool.Copy !req
561. Okay, well, uh, good night then.Copy !req
562. Good night, boss.Copy !req
563. Oh, did you, uh, remember
to take care of that thing?Copy !req
564. Yeah, yeah totally.Copy !req
565. Office was on the way to the theater.Copy !req
566. So we slipped the snake
right through the air vent.Copy !req
567. He's gotta be dead by now.Copy !req
568. Then Venture's got no more excuses!Copy !req
569. Excellent!Copy !req
570. Reload the scarionette cannon!Copy !req
571. Tomorrow, we arch anew!Copy !req