1. 86:
Are you drunk?Copy !req
2. The records clearly
state that Champ is older.Copy !req
3. Older sea monster means
a hardier breeding stock!Copy !req
4. Who has ever even heard of Champ?Copy !req
5. The Loch Ness monster is a celebrity!Copy !req
6. He could totally kick Champ's ass.Copy !req
7. 21:
Ogopogo.Copy !req
8. 21:
Champ is a picture of a log.Copy !req
9. Nessie is a toy submarine with
a head made out of plastic wood.Copy !req
10. Ogopogo is a plesiosaur —Copy !req
11. a fucking plesiosaur.Copy !req
12. - Oh, we are screwed.
- What?Copy !req
13. - Nice job.
- Who is this guy?Copy !req
14. You're gonna tell me a log,
or at best, a beaverCopy !req
15. could kick the ass of a plesiosaur?Copy !req
16. Seriously, what is he?
Like, a cryptozoologist?Copy !req
17. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.Copy !req
18. Or is he Scully and Mulder's kid?Copy !req
19. Ogo... pogo.Copy !req
20. Well, uh, of course.Copy !req
21. I mean, it's no contest.Copy !req
22. Plesiosaur!Copy !req
23. Well, uh, case closed then.Copy !req
24. What was that?Copy !req
25. That was 21. The 21!Copy !req
26. It's not even his number anymore.Copy !req
27. I mean, the guys is, like,
Henchman 1 or something,Copy !req
28. but he won't change his number!Copy !req
29. Why didn't you tell me that was two-ton 21?Copy !req
30. That guy's, like, a living legend!Copy !req
31. Man!Copy !req
32. I'm so glad I didn't
mention the car accident.Copy !req
33. Car accident?Copy !req
34. Car accident?Copy !req
35. That was no car accident.Copy !req
36. 24 died in a car intentional.Copy !req
37. What's your number, scrub?Copy !req
38. I-I-I-I'm Henchman 86.Copy !req
39. You're 87 now! Listen up, noobs!Copy !req
40. I want henchmen 87
through 95 for field duty!Copy !req
41. You got 15 minutes to put on your makeupCopy !req
42. and fix your hair!Copy !req
43. What are you smiling about?Copy !req
44. - I have allergies.
- What? Who cares?Copy !req
45. Dude, I was Henchman 87.Copy !req
46. You just got me moved up to 86.Copy !req
47. Now I don't have to rake leaves all week.Copy !req
48. I have allergies.Copy !req
49. What are you complaining about?Copy !req
50. 21 has turned my obsessive war with VentureCopy !req
51. into the slickest operation
in organized villainy.Copy !req
52. I know, but I'm worried about him.Copy !req
53. Worry about me!Copy !req
54. I have an interview with
Modern Enemy Monthly,Copy !req
55. and I have this huge zit
growing on the side of my nose!Copy !req
56. You can't see it.Copy !req
57. That's because it hasn't bloomed.Copy !req
58. God, I can feel it pressing its way out.Copy !req
59. Oooh, it will surface.Copy !req
60. And it will be a whopper!Copy !req
61. Aside from your pending blemish,Copy !req
62. I'm not worried about you.Copy !req
63. 21 loses his only friend and—Copy !req
64. What? Who?Copy !req
65. 24!Copy !req
66. Really? Seriously? They were inseparable.Copy !req
67. That? Oh, stop it.Copy !req
68. He's seen hundreds of henchmen die.Copy !req
69. He's personally killed some. He's fine.Copy !req
70. Do you even know what he's done?Copy !req
71. Yes, built us a mud room,Copy !req
72. turned my henchmen into a
crack team of winged killers,Copy !req
73. alphabetized my DVD collection,Copy !req
74. put little lasers on my wrist shooters...Copy !req
75. hired this guy.Copy !req
76. Confit of duck served with a
raspberry balsamic vinaigretteCopy !req
77. on a bed of rocket and sunchoke.Copy !req
78. See! Rocket and sunchoke.Copy !req
79. Sweetie, do you even know what that is?Copy !req
80. - Not a clue.
- Neither do I!Copy !req
81. And that is fancy!Copy !req
82. 21 did that!Copy !req
83. I wish that was all he was doing.Copy !req
84. No, it wasn't my pool.Copy !req
85. That's not the point.Copy !req
86. She was, like, hanging on my shoulders,Copy !req
87. and I could feel her big
chest bumps against my back.Copy !req
88. She was totally into me— What?Copy !req
89. No, she was a strong swimmer!Copy !req
90. I'm telling you, she wasn't
drowning she was into me!Copy !req
91. It was a one piece with a
racing stripe down the side.Copy !req
92. That's ridiculous!Copy !req
93. Why would that mean she was sloppy!Copy !req
94. Didn't have a detachable skirt.Copy !req
95. It was a regular bathing suit.Copy !req
96. Please! That's it?Copy !req
97. Come on, I still talk
to my friend's corpse.Copy !req
98. That's a stuffed cat! It's different.Copy !req
99. I mean, it's about as creepy,
but it's different.Copy !req
100. Mr. Mostly Mittens was my best friend!Copy !req
101. That cat could fetch a rubber band!Copy !req
102. He'd bring it back every time!Copy !req
103. It's the same kinda thing, it's just—Copy !req
104. What are you doing?Copy !req
105. They didn't have dinner yet.Copy !req
106. If you feed them table scraps,
they'll just keep doing it!Copy !req
107. Get out! Now! Go!Copy !req
108. All right, Sam. Relax.Copy !req
109. It's all good.Copy !req
110. I'm more concerned about
those rotten little thingsCopy !req
111. than I am Henchman 21.Copy !req
112. I'm just worried he's
gonna do something crazy.Copy !req
113. He's a model hench—Copy !req
114. Man, oh man!Copy !req
115. Rocket and sunchoke
tastes like burning soap!Copy !req
116. The training is complete.Copy !req
117. The timing is right.Copy !req
118. It's time I let you in on
"The Lazarus Project."Copy !req
119. No, does it sound like I was
gonna bring you back from the dead?Copy !req
120. Okay, whatever.Copy !req
121. I just thought it sounded cool.Copy !req
122. I also have "Avenging Angels,"Copy !req
123. "Dragon Thunder Undertaking,"Copy !req
124. and, my second choice:
"Eye for an I."Copy !req
125. The second "eye" is the letter I.Copy !req
126. It's pretty cool.
I also have a logo for it.Copy !req
127. Sweet, I like that one, too.Copy !req
128. I have a list of your possible murderers.Copy !req
129. We shall apprehend, interrogate,Copy !req
130. and if need be, execute each suspect.Copy !req
131. I am totally being serious.Copy !req
132. "An Eye for an I" begins tonight!Copy !req
133. And it begins...Copy !req
134. with the Venture family.Copy !req
135. Snap!Copy !req
136. That was your neck, Hank.Copy !req
137. I just broke your neck.Copy !req
138. Now I'm gonna take your skin offCopy !req
139. and wear it to the ding dong prom!Copy !req
140. I knew it was you.Copy !req
141. What is going on?Copy !req
142. Well, good morning, Mr. Sleepy Kill Me!Copy !req
143. I just murdered your brother
and had enough timeCopy !req
144. to rip his leg off and beat you with it.Copy !req
145. You boys gotta get with the program!Copy !req
146. I knew it was you!Copy !req
147. And you were so lucky I did,
because I was about to—Copy !req
148. That is horse poop!Copy !req
149. Look, I don't wanna fake
dismember you boys every night,Copy !req
150. but you have to realize
that you are just...Copy !req
151. more fragile than you're accustomed to.Copy !req
152. All right, fine.Copy !req
153. But in the future, could you
warn us before you do that?Copy !req
154. In the future, the lazy eloi
will be living above ground.Copy !req
155. But underground,
there will be cave monstersCopy !req
156. that use the above ground people for food.Copy !req
157. Dean, they eat them.Copy !req
158. Now I know what happened to
my copy of The Time Machine.Copy !req
159. See, I didn't take it!Copy !req
160. I expect an apology.Copy !req
161. And also, I want a dollar.Copy !req
162. Emotional damage.Copy !req
163. This is ridiculous.Copy !req
164. I'm going back to sleep!Copy !req
165. Yes, it is!Copy !req
166. It's ridiculous that you two
can't hit the panic room buttonCopy !req
167. when someone tries to kill you!Copy !req
168. Brock never had problems protecting us.Copy !req
169. Low blow, Hank.Copy !req
170. Umm, Dean?Copy !req
171. What?Copy !req
172. Which book comes after
Mystery of the Burning Island?Copy !req
173. Giant Boy DetectiveCopy !req
174. and the Secret of the Disappearing Pyramid.Copy !req
175. Okay, I'm, uh...Copy !req
176. I'm just gonna borrow that.Copy !req
177. DR.
And this little piggy went "wee wee wee"Copy !req
178. all the way home.Copy !req
179. Wait, another little piggy.Copy !req
180. What does this piggy do?Copy !req
181. Hardly a little piggy.Copy !req
182. DR.
Well, he already did all his shopping.Copy !req
183. So there is no need
for him to go to market.Copy !req
184. DR. And there's no way
he's gonna go "wee wee wee—Copy !req
185. I didn't think
you'd let me do that the first time.Copy !req
186. I'm not gonna push it.Copy !req
187. Well, what if I find a
nice place for the piggy?Copy !req
188. I have some ideas.Copy !req
189. Ugh. Honey, your face!Copy !req
190. Sweety— Ugh! It's disgusting!Copy !req
191. That bad?Copy !req
192. I told you that zit was ready to bloom.Copy !req
193. I'm gonna go hit this with some tweezers.Copy !req
194. Don't get dressed!Copy !req
195. If that's a zit, I'm gonna call Guiness.Copy !req
196. That's a world record.Copy !req
197. This is something way worse.Copy !req
198. Aaah! Motherfucker!Copy !req
199. What is that?Copy !req
200. Eat it! Too fast for ya.Copy !req
201. One is mint in box.Copy !req
202. The other is out of stock. Over.Copy !req
203. Copy that. I'll handle it. Over.Copy !req
204. Dean. Dean?Copy !req
205. Hey, dude! Sleep heavy enough?Copy !req
206. Aaahh! Oh, gross!Copy !req
207. The kid's packing wood.Copy !req
208. Copy. Do you require backup? Over.Copy !req
209. No, no, not that kind of
"packing wood." Seriously.Copy !req
210. And trust me,
nobody else needs to see this.Copy !req
211. It's rank.Copy !req
212. Ugh.Copy !req
213. Grim.Copy !req
214. All right, let's move.Copy !req
215. Ow! Goddamn coffee table! Motherfucker!Copy !req
216. Come on, let me see!Copy !req
217. My face is massive! I'm a freak!Copy !req
218. Can I come in if I have a ticket?Copy !req
219. I promise not to bang on your cage.Copy !req
220. Yes, please make light of this.Copy !req
221. It's helping.Copy !req
222. I feel much better about
my hideous deformity.Copy !req
223. Should we change our
costume theme, sweetie?Copy !req
224. Maybe you could be Glob Face,Copy !req
225. and I could be Lady Glob Face.Copy !req
226. Maybe we'll get a Globmobile
and Globbo the Wonder Dog.Copy !req
227. Why are you not helping me?Copy !req
228. Well, what do you want me to do?Copy !req
229. Clearly, you're allergic
to whatever rocket is.Copy !req
230. Or whatever sunchoke is.Copy !req
231. Maybe a fortress of Globitude?Copy !req
232. I'm going back in the bathroom.Copy !req
233. Get up!Copy !req
234. Emergency!Copy !req
235. Our home has been violated!Copy !req
236. What time is it?Copy !req
237. Go time!Copy !req
238. I was downstairs sitting in front
of the computer masturbating,Copy !req
239. and then zip!Copy !req
240. This is sticking out of my neck,Copy !req
241. my clothes are gone,
and the boys are missing!Copy !req
242. Oh my God!Copy !req
243. Don't you worry! We'll get 'em back.Copy !req
244. No, I mean, oh my God, you just told meCopy !req
245. you were masturbating in
front of the computer. That's foul!Copy !req
246. Oh, what — and you don't?Copy !req
247. Well, yeah. But I'm not proud of it.Copy !req
248. Look, you can talk about
your needless shame later.Copy !req
249. We have to rescue your sons!Copy !req
250. Fine.Copy !req
251. Well, that's a Monarch dart, so we...Copy !req
252. get them or something?Copy !req
253. Not so simple.Copy !req
254. Look, I was in the
Guild of Calamitous Intent.Copy !req
255. And I'm also a recovered pedophile.Copy !req
256. So if anyone knows the rulesCopy !req
257. about abducting young boys from their bed,Copy !req
258. it's old Sergeant Hatred.Copy !req
259. Why did I let you take this job?Copy !req
260. Because I'm great!Copy !req
261. Plus I had no job, no home,
and refused to leave yours.Copy !req
262. And not the point!Copy !req
263. This abduction malarkey is
completely against Guild law.Copy !req
264. So we're gonna handle
this one the Hatred way.Copy !req
265. Take some antihistamines!Copy !req
266. I don't have a little tickle in my chest,Copy !req
267. I look like John Merrick!Copy !req
268. I need, like, a cortisone
injection or something, duh!Copy !req
269. I don't know, I'm not a doctor!Copy !req
270. Oh, you're not?Copy !req
271. Then why the fuck have I been
calling you "Dr. Girlfriend," huh?Copy !req
272. I'm not that kind of a doctor.Copy !req
273. Hold on, I'm gonna get that.Copy !req
274. Monarch residence.Copy !req
275. Ahem, yeah. Hi.Copy !req
276. This is Sergeant Hatred.Copy !req
277. I used to live next door, but
now I'm kinda your arch enemy?Copy !req
278. Yeah?Copy !req
279. Yeah, well, it seems you
illegally took the Venture boys.Copy !req
280. So, you're gonna have to hand 'em over,Copy !req
281. or I'll come over to your
house and blow it up.Copy !req
282. And I guess I'll probably
have to kill the both of you, too.Copy !req
283. - Hold on.
- Okay.Copy !req
284. So, you like the briefs?Copy !req
285. I find them a tad too tight
on my little battalion.Copy !req
286. Sweetie, I have to take this call!Copy !req
287. Who is it?Copy !req
288. Is it Modern Enemy Monthly?Copy !req
289. Uh, yeah.Copy !req
290. And they wanna do a blurb on me.Copy !req
291. This always happens!Copy !req
292. Next thing you know,
it's you naked on the cover!Copy !req
293. I knew it!Copy !req
294. All right, fine.Copy !req
295. But when you talk about me,Copy !req
296. constantly use the words,
"genius" and "visionary."Copy !req
297. So, Giant Boy Detective just puts ElizabethCopy !req
298. on his huge head and
walks right across that lake.Copy !req
299. You see, the little waif
leads them to the island—Copy !req
300. Hup, she's back on the horn.Copy !req
301. I'll tell you the rest later.Copy !req
302. Listen, I can assure youCopy !req
303. that the Monarch and I did not take them.Copy !req
304. Well, I can ass-sure
you, little Miss So-and-so,Copy !req
305. that somebody there did.Copy !req
306. And if you don't help us get 'em back,Copy !req
307. I can ass-sure youCopy !req
308. that the Guild will have
your collective heads!Copy !req
309. Okay, I'll take care of this.Copy !req
310. Wrong! We'll take care of this.Copy !req
311. Doc and I are gonna be
at your door in one hour!Copy !req
312. Not the door!Copy !req
313. I'll meet you at the old observatory.Copy !req
314. Looks like the set of The Gilmore Girls.Copy !req
315. Looks can be deceiving.Copy !req
316. Ever wonder where villains
get their mail sent?Copy !req
317. It ain't to their hollowed out volcano!Copy !req
318. It's right here — Malice.Copy !req
319. Yeah, that would be more
impressive if I hadn't been here,Copy !req
320. like 50 times, and
usually to rescue the boys.Copy !req
321. We just have to stop at my
old place and pick up some gear.Copy !req
322. Never know what kinda—Copy !req
323. Uh, problem?Copy !req
324. You're gonna have to
turn your vehicle around.Copy !req
325. This is a gated community.Copy !req
326. Yeah, I'm a pretty little flower.Copy !req
327. Like a prom date, maybe?Copy !req
328. This is a gated community.Copy !req
329. Enjoy the silence. Are you for supper?Copy !req
330. Gated... Gated...Copy !req
331. Turtles!Copy !req
332. Now let's go dream about
little breaded chicken fingers.Copy !req
333. Ha! Robots!Copy !req
334. Programmed to respond to
over 700 different questions.Copy !req
335. None of which includes chicken fingers.Copy !req
336. Hey, souvenir!Copy !req
337. You can use 'em like halloween masks.Copy !req
338. Maybe Dean can go as a middle-aged
security guard this year, huh?Copy !req
339. What is going on?Copy !req
340. You have been driven insane!Copy !req
341. You have been subjected to
the dreaded Chinese water tortureCopy !req
342. for easily a half an hour.Copy !req
343. You have lost your grip on reality.Copy !req
344. We're delirious?Copy !req
345. So, this is a dream,Copy !req
346. and we're not really here—Copy !req
347. Oh, no, you're actually here.Copy !req
348. But if I'm half monster, and
like half goat and half hor—Copy !req
349. That's stupid.Copy !req
350. Okay, if my bottom half is a horse,Copy !req
351. and on top I'm Sin-Eater.Copy !req
352. Who's Sin-Eater?Copy !req
353. Or Wolverine! With bat wings.Copy !req
354. Dude, you're that henchman guy.Copy !req
355. - With bat wings?
- No, that is mental!Copy !req
356. You're regular.Copy !req
357. Are you sure you did this right?Copy !req
358. Because I'm not really tortured.Copy !req
359. Just kinda wet.Copy !req
360. The real torture is that farty smell.Copy !req
361. Did you put something in the water?Copy !req
362. The water's clean.Copy !req
363. But those are totally the buckets we usedCopy !req
364. to mop up the level 4 bathroom.Copy !req
365. Hi, honey.Copy !req
366. What happened? Did you leave?Copy !req
367. Yeah, the magazine wanted
to do a quick photo shoot.Copy !req
368. At night. At the old observatory.Copy !req
369. That was supposed to be my photo shoot!Copy !req
370. Wait! What do you have on under your robe?Copy !req
371. Clothing?Copy !req
372. Not good enough! Let's see it.Copy !req
373. Knew it!Copy !req
374. It's not what you think, sweetie!Copy !req
375. Oh, yeah, it's just what I think.Copy !req
376. Well, I'm gonna go to the cocoonCopy !req
377. and maybe go arching without you.Copy !req
378. You like that idea?Copy !req
379. That's a horrible idea.Copy !req
380. Seriously, baby, don't go to the cocoon.Copy !req
381. Why? I haven't been
there in, like, forever.Copy !req
382. What are you hiding from me?Copy !req
383. Sweetie, please don't go—Copy !req
384. We'll handle the Monarch, mum.Copy !req
385. He won't be going anywhere.Copy !req
386. Tim-Tom, I mean just keep him busy
so he doesn't leave.Copy !req
387. Don't go all crazy.Copy !req
388. He'll flip if he knows what's going on.Copy !req
389. All right, hold on a second.
I have another call.Copy !req
390. - Hi.
- Hi.Copy !req
391. I didn't get cut off. I hung up on you.Copy !req
392. - Oh, I know.
- Why didn't you call me back?Copy !req
393. I thought you'd just hang up—Copy !req
394. Are we gonna get your gear, or what?Copy !req
395. I can't go in there. My ex is in there.Copy !req
396. Okay, then let's go.Copy !req
397. Honestly, what gear do we need —
an H-shaped grapple gun?Copy !req
398. Oh, will you look at that sweet squaw.Copy !req
399. She is just sitting there missing me.Copy !req
400. What a woman she is— What? Who's he?Copy !req
401. There's a guy in there? Let me see!Copy !req
402. - Who is that other guy?
- I can't tell.Copy !req
403. Everyone looks the same in a leather mask.Copy !req
404. Okay, I recognize the
one with the ball gag.Copy !req
405. That's Private Schwa.Copy !req
406. I can't look! Tell me what's going on!Copy !req
407. Okay, the big guy with
the saddle on his backCopy !req
408. is just driving his—Copy !req
409. Aah! Lie to me! Damn you, lie to me!Copy !req
410. Fine, just relax.Copy !req
411. Okay, I think they're
rehearsing for a play.Copy !req
412. Is there a non-musical, mostly
nude version of Oklahoma!Copy !req
413. Hello. Where is you going?Copy !req
414. For a walk. What's it to you?Copy !req
415. You aren't going anywhere.Copy !req
416. I wouldn't even try to move—Copy !req
417. Aah aah! Don't finish that sentence.Copy !req
418. I'm only gonna say this once.Copy !req
419. I don't like you two.Copy !req
420. And if you ever, ever try
to give me an order again,Copy !req
421. I will kill you both,Copy !req
422. and feed your tiny rotting bodiesCopy !req
423. to the neighborhood dogs.Copy !req
424. Now, what were you saying?Copy !req
425. Have a nice walk?Copy !req
426. How about you?Copy !req
427. Do I have to get a can
of Raid and spray you?Copy !req
428. I didn't say nothing.Copy !req
429. Anything?Copy !req
430. Nope. Still sane.Copy !req
431. Okay.Copy !req
432. Well, just tell me when
you're driven so crazyCopy !req
433. with the water torture
that you wanna confess.Copy !req
434. To what?Copy !req
435. Okay, I don't wanna
sound like a know-it-all, but—Copy !req
436. It's a little too late for that, Deano.Copy !req
437. Aw, Smack! I was just gonna say that!Copy !req
438. Har-dee-har.Copy !req
439. Pwned!Copy !req
440. This is unprovoked torture and kidnapping.Copy !req
441. It's completely against Guild procedure.Copy !req
442. The Monarch could
get in big trouble for this.Copy !req
443. Do you see the Monarch around?Copy !req
444. I don't.Copy !req
445. Dean, this is about me, and
the murder of my best friend.Copy !req
446. Your friend was murdered?Copy !req
447. Duh!Copy !req
448. You don't remember a
car blowing up in your yard,Copy !req
449. killing my only friend?Copy !req
450. Oh, wasn't that the same dayCopy !req
451. that 100 gooey copies of me and my brotherCopy !req
452. were mowed down by a
lunatic in a spinning laser suit?Copy !req
453. And the day that my best
friend Brock left us forever?Copy !req
454. How could we forget
one of, like, a million guysCopy !req
455. who died on my lawn?Copy !req
456. Yeah, and that happened
a pretty long time ago.Copy !req
457. Why are you doing this now?Copy !req
458. After that happened, I was devastated.Copy !req
459. I buried most of what I could find of 24.Copy !req
460. And with him, I buried my dreams.Copy !req
461. Company!Copy !req
462. Fire!Copy !req
463. Fire!Copy !req
464. 21:
I couldn't go on being a henchman.Copy !req
465. Nothing made sense with 24 gone.Copy !req
466. So I went back to my life before I was 21.Copy !req
467. I went back to being—Copy !req
468. Gary!Copy !req
469. What?Copy !req
470. Keep it down in there!Copy !req
471. Mom, I'm podcasting my life story!Copy !req
472. This is important.Copy !req
473. Well, be important quietly!Copy !req
474. Okay! Fine!Copy !req
475. Geesh.Copy !req
476. "This was no ordinary
eighth grade Washington trip.Copy !req
477. This was the day that I was to be stolenCopy !req
478. into the life of a hench—"Copy !req
479. - Gary!
- Mom!Copy !req
480. But there was nothing for me there.Copy !req
481. I knew my purpose was to
make 24's death mean something.Copy !req
482. I knew that I had to become
not only a henchman,Copy !req
483. but a leader of henchmen.Copy !req
484. I trained myself in the mystic arts.Copy !req
485. Lightning bolt!Copy !req
486. Lightning bolt! Lightning bolt!Copy !req
487. 21:
And in the fighting arts.Copy !req
488. Hey, that's not —Copy !req
489. 21: My body became a
muscled killing machine.Copy !req
490. Well... don't go crazy.Copy !req
491. 21:
Oh, you should have seen it before.Copy !req
492. I did, like a million times.Copy !req
493. Anyway, Hank.Copy !req
494. I was ready to rejoin my old unit.Copy !req
495. And under my tutelage,Copy !req
496. that unit became the most feared henchmenCopy !req
497. ever to don the wings.Copy !req
498. I vowed never again will we
lose a man to my cowardice.Copy !req
499. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
500. I did it.Copy !req
501. It was me. I killed 24.Copy !req
502. We all did, Gary. We all did.Copy !req
503. Don't blame me, I didn't!Copy !req
504. And you seriously gotta untie meCopy !req
505. or you're gonna have to scratch my heinie.Copy !req
506. Because my heinie totally itches.Copy !req
507. Bar's closed.Copy !req
508. Gonna have to ask you to leave.Copy !req
509. Excuse me, you insolent
soon-to-be-corpse...Copy !req
510. Did you just refuse me a drink?Copy !req
511. No serving past midnight.Copy !req
512. General 21's orders.Copy !req
513. General 21? General?Copy !req
514. Do you know who you are speaking to?Copy !req
515. All right, let's go, pal.Copy !req
516. I asked nice.Copy !req
517. I don't care if you whisper it into
my ear and give me a corsage,Copy !req
518. I am not leavingCopy !req
519. till I get my Fresca.Copy !req
520. Whhyyyy!Copy !req
521. Why would let them do that to you?Copy !req
522. Wait a minute — I asked
you to do that position.Copy !req
523. Apparently I didn't ask youCopy !req
524. while wearing buttless leather chaps!Copy !req
525. Oh, what would Giant Boy Detective do?Copy !req
526. What the fuck! Why are you here?Copy !req
527. Where were you?Copy !req
528. The tree fort back there. Who are you?Copy !req
529. Go home.Copy !req
530. Now.Copy !req
531. I don't need this.Copy !req
532. Man, what's wrong with your face?Copy !req
533. What's wrong with yours?Copy !req
534. Henry, that's rude.Copy !req
535. Clearly he's deformed.Copy !req
536. Probably the kindly old groundskeeper.Copy !req
537. Yeah. Kindly old groundskeeper.Copy !req
538. I was once young and handsomeCopy !req
539. and then a witch cast a spell on me.Copy !req
540. Well, sorry.Copy !req
541. So do you want Dean to kiss you?Copy !req
542. He's a princess!Copy !req
543. No! I want you to go home.Copy !req
544. Okay. Where are we?Copy !req
545. The magical land of Narnia.Copy !req
546. I'll call you a cab.Copy !req
547. And the telescope is really a laser.Copy !req
548. Never seen it fired.Copy !req
549. I did. I was like four, maybe five.Copy !req
550. Super loud.Copy !req
551. Probably the reason I have tinnitus.Copy !req
552. Yeah, that was in one of the episodesCopy !req
553. of the Rusty Venture show.Copy !req
554. So you're a fan. Figured.Copy !req
555. And here we are.Copy !req
556. Alone.Copy !req
557. What would the neighbors think?Copy !req
558. The neighbors are Auntimatter,Copy !req
559. who's a spinster that shape shifts,Copy !req
560. and Flying Squid,
he's pretty self-explanatory.Copy !req
561. So I don't think they'd find this weird.Copy !req
562. I have a magic guy living in my house.Copy !req
563. Oh, and my former arch enemy
is now my bodyguard.Copy !req
564. So, looks like we made it.Copy !req
565. Exactly what my parents wanted for me.Copy !req
566. Guaranteed.Copy !req
567. Yeah, my father would be proud.Copy !req
568. So you haven't seen the boys?Copy !req
569. No. Did you try calling them?Copy !req
570. Aww!Copy !req
571. Hatred, what an idiot.Copy !req
572. No, he never— World's worst bodyguard.Copy !req
573. What's up, Pop?Copy !req
574. Where are you?Copy !req
575. In bed.Copy !req
576. Really? Where were you tonight?Copy !req
577. We were in Gary's tree fort.Copy !req
578. We took a cab home like an hour ago.Copy !req
579. What's the password?Copy !req
580. I forgot.Copy !req
581. Oh, wait, I remember.Copy !req
582. I'm the fucking Monarch! Let me in, now!Copy !req
583. It's open.Copy !req
584. What the hell are you doing?Copy !req
585. It's the Chinese water torture.Copy !req
586. It's not really torture.Copy !req
587. It's like, uh, napping under
an air conditioner, kinda.Copy !req
588. Whoa!Copy !req
589. You know, I think the
water torture has given meCopy !req
590. second sight, or something.Copy !req
591. I can see your true, evil self.Copy !req
592. It has been revealed.Copy !req
593. Hardly.Copy !req
594. It's an allergic reaction to a fancy salad.Copy !req
595. Oh.Copy !req
596. So, uh, why are you
not with Dr. Girlfriend?Copy !req
597. She's taking her clothes
off for my interview.Copy !req
598. You'd like that, wouldn't you?Copy !req
599. Your wife naked?Copy !req
600. No!Copy !req
601. I mean, she's pretty, but no, that's—Copy !req
602. Yeah, phase out the MonarchCopy !req
603. so you can take his place, huh?Copy !req
604. - What?
- I'm onto you!Copy !req
605. I know you had the Venture brothers here.Copy !req
606. Who told you that?Copy !req
607. Nobody. I can smell them.Copy !req
608. Hank wears more Stetson
cologne than a gigolo,Copy !req
609. and Dean smells like Selsun Blue.Copy !req
610. So, uh, what?Copy !req
611. Are you torturing them without me?Copy !req
612. Hardly. I blew it.Copy !req
613. I tried to get them to confess to a murderCopy !req
614. that I think I committed.Copy !req
615. I'm not you.Copy !req
616. I don't have that natural hate.Copy !req
617. You were born for this.Copy !req
618. You don't know the half of it.Copy !req
619. I hate everything. Seriously.Copy !req
620. I hate myself more than most villainsCopy !req
621. hate their arch enemies.Copy !req
622. I'm all hate.Copy !req
623. No, it's true.Copy !req
624. And I am honored to
serve in your ranks, sir.Copy !req
625. - Really?
- Totally.Copy !req
626. Oh, hey, you wanna hang out?Copy !req
627. We can play cards, or watch
Josie and the Pussycats.Copy !req
628. Slo-mo the Rosario Dawson scenes.Copy !req
629. Like when 24 was still here.Copy !req
630. Old times?Copy !req
631. This is very touching,
so here's what I'll do.Copy !req
632. Instead of having you
executed for suspected treason,Copy !req
633. I'll leave you to play in your tree fortCopy !req
634. before I burn it down, okay?Copy !req
635. See, total pro!Copy !req
636. You are the mighty Monarch!Copy !req
637. Don't ever forget that.Copy !req
638. Dude, guess who did a spreadCopy !req
639. for Modern Enemy Monthly?Copy !req
640. Ta-da!Copy !req
641. Dude, where are you?Copy !req
642. What are you doing over there?Copy !req