1. I know you're still
settling in here and all,
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2. but I figure if you're gonna
be my new bodyguard,
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3. you might as well see what you're in for.
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4. Yes sir...
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5. when you're riding shotgun
with a Rusty Venture,
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6. the road can get a little bit bumpy.
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7. Pays to keep a few spares in the trunk.
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8. Oh, don't be so squeamish.
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9. Kinda takes a little of the pressure
off your job, doesn't it?
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10. Don't talk much, do you? Well, good.
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11. Because mum's the word about
my little cabbage patch here.
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12. These tadpoles aren't exactly street legal,
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13. if you get my drift.
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14. You know, you really shouldn't
smoke when we're pregnant.
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15. Seriously... no smoking in the lab areas.
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16. Oooooh!
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17. Oh, what is this?
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18. No no no, this won't do at all.
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19. Specimen D-19.
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20. Yeah, I had a feeling about this one.
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21. Autosomes always did look a bit sloppy,
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22. just between you and me.
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23. God!
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24. Is that a face only a
mother could love or what?
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25. Good thing she's not here then, huh?
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26. So... what are we gonna do for lunch?
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27. Dean? Dean?
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28. What'd ya fall in?
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29. Come on now, Lil Mister,
the head is for everyone!
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30. You've had your ten, now
give your brother his shift!
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31. Wha—? Oh, come on!
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32. Hey! Hey! I'm in here!
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33. Well, you should be in your room, mister!
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34. You are grounded!
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35. I'm not even allowed to make a pee now?
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36. Not in here you aren't!
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37. It's our only bathroom!
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38. You should have thought of that
before you called your father
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39. "the President of the
United States of Boogers"
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40. in front of company.
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41. Now get out!
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42. You get out! I'm peeing!
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43. Oh, no you aren't— Hank!
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44. Attica! Attica! Attica!
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45. Daddy? You're the—
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46. Dean. We need to talk.
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47. There is no hair fairy, is there?
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48. Not even close.
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49. The time has come for you to leave
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50. the magic and folly
of childhood behind, Dean.
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51. Because I'm losing all my baby hair,
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52. and my grown-up hair's
gonna start coming in soon?
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53. No, because you need to start taking
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54. your future career in science
more seriously, Dean.
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55. Your biological time bomb is ticking!
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56. But I have been practicing my science
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57. just like you told me, Pop.
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58. Look, I made these.
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59. Shrinky dinks don't count, son.
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60. I'm not even going to ask you
why you sleep with those things.
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61. 'Cause I can't find Mr. Reachy.
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62. Don't blame yourself, Dean.
It's my fault.
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63. I should have given you this years ago.
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64. Ta-daaaaa!
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65. The... panic room?
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66. Your very own junior laboratory!
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67. No more working on the
kitchen table for you!
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68. In here, you'll be able to
really focus on your science
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69. with no distractions!
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70. How come Baby Einstein gets his own lab
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71. and I'm stuck pushing boxes around, huh?
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72. When do I get to train
for my future career?
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73. Who says you're not right now?
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74. Those go up in the attic, boy.
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75. Well, I'm sure your brain's already buzzing
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76. with a million ideas
you want to get cracking on.
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77. Can I get you anything else?
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78. A window?
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79. Like I said — no distractions!
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80. Now go get into your speed suit.
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81. I have another surprise for you.
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82. "Get into your speed suit.
I have a surprise for you."
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83. Good gravy!
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84. Never gave me my own lab.
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85. Never gave me nothin'!
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86. Why do you they get to have everything?
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87. I'm as smart as they are!
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88. I'm smarter, even!
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89. They keep going to sleep with the angels,
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90. but I'm still here!
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91. Aren't you a little old
for stuffed animals?
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92. Don't you think you should
give that back to the real Dean?
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93. I am a real Dean!
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94. No, you were rejected.
You weren't good enough.
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95. You mean I wasn't pretty enough...
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96. My God, but you are hideous.
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97. I can't believe you even came from me.
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98. I try to be like the ones you love so much.
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99. I watch them.
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100. I learn from them...
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101. Yeah, but then there's still the whole...
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102. face issue.
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103. Not after tonight!
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104. Just you wait and see!
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105. It's almost finished!
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106. I just need one more and then...
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107. and then I'm gonna be
just like the rest of them...
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108. Oh, yessirree bob!
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109. Hard to...
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110. leather...
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111. Great.
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112. On top of everything else,
you're getting fat now, too.
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113. Was that you?
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114. I'm not even here, crazy.
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115. It's all about Dean, isn't it?
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116. Tonight! Tonight!
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117. Whoa-hoooo Nelly!
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118. And that's just at "N scale!"
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119. It's a fresh new twist on
the classic decoy tactic.
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120. We place 'em in key locations
around the compound,
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121. and the next time your Monarch
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122. or your Baron What's-His-Bheit
comes a-knockin',
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123. he gets spanked in the face
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124. with 5'7" of screamin' hot stop it!
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125. I'm five ten.
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126. Yeah, maybe with them fancy
elevator beatle boots of yours.
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127. Got a delivery here
for a "Sergeant Hatred"?
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128. Are either of you...?
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129. Oh, take a guess.
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130. Sign here, please.
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131. Whoa! Easy!
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132. Let's just be real careful with those.
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133. Kid gloves.
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134. Sir, do these crates contain
any hazardous materials
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135. I should know about?
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136. I'm required by law to—
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137. Hey, Nosey McPeeks-A-Lot.
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138. You know what brown can do for me?
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139. He can mind his own business.
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140. Oh, sorry.
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141. Well, hey there, slugger!
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142. You look like you're buckin' for my job!
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143. Did my dad tell you to say that?
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144. Uh, no...
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145. Then... are you psychic?
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146. Hank, leave the man alone.
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147. Just because he's black
doesn't mean he has "the shining."
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148. Save me, dude.
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149. Done.
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150. Now am I ungrounded?
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151. Why, have you finished
washing the car already?
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152. - What?
- It was on the list.
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153. What "list?"
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154. The "things Hank has to do for his father
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155. before I can even think
of un-grounding him" list.
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156. Oh, didn't I c.c. you on that?
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157. Aww! What—?
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158. Aw, there's like 20—
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159. Hold on a sec, Hank.
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160. Number four.
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161. Like mirrors, Hank.
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162. I don't wanna tell ya how to
do your daddy duty or nothing,
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163. but don'tcha think maybe you're bein'
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164. just a little too hard
on the ol' Hankinator?
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165. "Hankinator?"
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166. You're sleeping with him, aren't you?
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167. Hey.
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168. Hey. How'd you get in?
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169. Security's a joke in this dump.
So, what're you in for?
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170. 12 counts of "sass in the first degree."
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171. Gay.
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172. And I peed in the tub?
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173. - S'pretty badass.
- Right?
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174. Yeah, I'm grounded, too.
I snuck out, though.
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175. Ninjutsu.
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176. Hey, where's your dorky brother?
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177. Probably busy getting his
heiney shined by my dad.
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178. He gets to do whatever he wants
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179. and I'm stuck with a list of
dumb chores. Look at that.
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180. Pfft. He's lucky he's not here.
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181. Still owe him a beatdown.
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182. Didn't he kinda... beat you up?
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183. What is that supposed to be, a joke?
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184. He cheap shotted me when I wasn't ready.
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185. Plus I had, like,
a massive stomach flu that day.
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186. Sor-ry.
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187. Check it — number five,
you do that one yet?
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188. - No.
- Sweet.
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189. If your dad needs his car washed,
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190. let's give him a good reason to wash it.
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191. The egg.
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192. It is the symbol of creation.
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193. And since I was your age,
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194. it has hatched all my
greatest super-science ideas...
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195. - No windows...
- Pay attention, Dean.
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196. Now sit down.
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197. You're about to meet my muse.
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198. Mommy?
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199. Progressive rock!
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200. Now normally, I'd start you off with Asia
Copy !req
201. or something more accessible.
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202. But I think you're ready
for the primo shit.
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203. Just take a gander at that cover art
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204. and try to pretend
you're not already inspired.
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205. It's like something out of a dream.
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206. Painted by our greatest living artist...
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207. Mr. Roger Dean.
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208. - Hey, that's my name!
- That's no accident, boy.
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209. Maybe now you have
some sense of the gravity—
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210. Nay, the destiny— of this moment.
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211. This is your birthright.
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212. Golly, I don't know what to say...
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213. Just say... yes!
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214. Hey, what's this one with the face?
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215. That? Oh no no no no...
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216. you are not ready to step into
The Court of the Crimson King.
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217. At this stage in your training,
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218. album like that could turn
you into an evil scientist.
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219. Buckle your mind, Dean.
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220. Because it's about to get blown.
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221. - Agh!
- Sorry!
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222. What?
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223. I said "What do you think?"
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224. I-I'm not sure, but...
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225. I think I'm starting to feel it.
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226. That's called inspiration, Dean.
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227. More. More!
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228. You got it, son!
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229. But no air drumming this time.
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230. Bruford can change the timing up so fast
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231. you could snap your wrist.
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232. Now can we do this?
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233. Yeah!
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234. Time to make the donuts!
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235. Put that on your list, Rusty!
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236. You call that a donut?
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237. Dude, you drive like my grandfather pees.
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238. Give her some gas!
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239. Quit it! Why don't you drive, then?
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240. Um, 'cuz I don't have a vagina.
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241. I told you, I only drive stick.
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242. Now c'mon,
let's take this thing to the quarry
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243. for some off-road action.
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244. Umm... I don't think I should
take it off the compound.
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245. Yeah, well you didn't think
I should hot wire it either.
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246. 'Cause I had the keys!
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247. Yes! Yes!
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248. Perfect-a-mundo!
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249. Whatever, whatever.
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250. Just admit that I coulda hot-wired it.
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251. - Yes, fine! I believe you!
- Super runaway!
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252. What was that?
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253. Hello, sheriff?
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254. I think something terrible
is about to go down
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255. at the Venture compound.
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256. Hell, looks like your basic
garden-variety advanced research
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257. super-scientific-industrial complex to me.
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258. "The Compound."
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259. That's what they call it.
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260. I delivered a dozen army
surplus crates to that place today.
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261. I think they're stocking up
for something big, man.
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262. I got a real bad feeling...
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263. All right, there, Holloway.
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264. This wouldn't be the first time
one of your famous premonitions
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265. sent me on a wild goose chase.
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266. Their leader —
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267. he's a real militia type.
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268. 'Got a big tattoo on his face.
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269. And don't even get me started
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270. on those weird-ass kids
they got up in there,
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271. all walkin' around talkin' crazy.
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272. I'm telling you...
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273. something strange is going on
in that compound.
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274. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!
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275. Dermott...
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276. I killed Dean!
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277. We gotta tell my dad—
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278. What're you, high?
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279. We can't tell anybody about this!
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280. What? But we gotta—
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281. Two words, dude —
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282. Vehicular. Manslaughter.
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283. You think being grounded is bad?
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284. Try prison.
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285. That's like being grounded for life.
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286. Plus, instead of chores...
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287. Butt sex!
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288. Oh my God, Dermott!
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289. What are we gonna do?
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290. Just don't panic, Hank!
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291. I've handled this kind of mess before.
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292. Why do you think they
used to call me "the wolf?"
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293. Nobody calls you that.
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294. They did back in my old neighborhood
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295. when they weren't calling me "Psycho."
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296. There was actually a war
between two rival gangs
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297. over which nickname to call me—
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298. What do we do?
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299. All right, first we gotta
destroy all the evidence.
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300. Wipe the car clean of all your DNA.
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301. And while we're at it,
gimme your driver's license...
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302. But it's only a learner's permit.
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303. Dude, give!
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304. Hey! What're you doing?
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305. You gotta go off the grid!
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306. Gotta disappear and lay low
in Mexico for a few years
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307. until this all blows over.
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308. You're a shadow, Hank!
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309. W-What about...
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310. D-Dean?
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311. I've been buried alive five,
maybe six times in my life.
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312. This was worse.
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313. Oh my God! I forgot about Dean!
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314. Dean!
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315. No!
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316. Oh, my God!
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317. It's side two of Dark Side of the Moon!
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318. He's in a Floyd hole!
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319. Fill the tub with ice! Now!
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320. It's all my fault, I pushed you too hard.
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321. It was too much, too soon!
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322. Damn you, boy! You weren't ready!
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323. Eureka!
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324. No, Dean. Sit back. Breathe.
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325. You've been through a lot,
you need to rest.
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326. No, Dad...
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327. I need to science!
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328. Well, looks like my work here...
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329. is done.
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330. Nooooooo!
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331. No no no no no!
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332. Noo! I was so doggone close!
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333. Darn it!
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334. Is that a crybaby I hear?
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335. It wasn't my fault!
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336. Dumb old Hank ruined everything.
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337. As usual.
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338. "Dumb old Hank ruined everything!"
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339. It takes more than a whiffle
and a sweater vest
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340. to be Dean, boy.
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341. He doesn't even wear those anymore.
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342. What— What else? Tell me!
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343. I'll do anything!
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344. It takes heart. It takes devotion.
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345. You think you have what it takes?
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346. Y-Yes! Yes, yes!
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347. Well, a real Dean wouldn't give up so easy.
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348. He'd pick himself up and
get right back on that horse.
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349. But I can't finish my
super special project now.
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350. There's no more left!
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351. Really?
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352. Pretty sure I left another
Dean around here somewhere.
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353. No... that was the last one
with a good face.
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354. You sure? Have you looked everywhere?
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355. Like, say... in the panic room?
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356. They never put them in the panic r— Oh!
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357. N-No! You don't mean—?
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358. Don't I?
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359. Do you really wanna be Dean
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360. or just Dean's uglier,
unhygienic older brother?
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361. D-Dean.
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362. And I can only have one favorite son,
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363. so it wouldn't very well do
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364. to have two Deans walking around,
now, would it?
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365. But I can't!
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366. That would be... wrong.
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367. What's wrong is that 14th stringer getting
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368. everything you were always meant to have.
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369. And Dean — may I call you Dean?
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370. Ohh... yes!
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371. This one's even a little bigger
than the others were.
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372. Dude, don't be a puss!
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373. We gotta burn your fingerprints off
so Interpol can't track you.
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374. Own your pain, dude!
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375. Go into your cave, like in Fight Club.
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376. I didn't see Fight Club!
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377. I saw it in the theater twice.
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378. Totally snuck in, too.
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379. My mom dropped me off at the mall to see
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380. some Elmo in Grouchland bullcrap.
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381. Ditched that noise.
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382. What the f—?
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383. This is like papier mache goo.
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384. Doesn't your dad have any
hydrochloric acid lying around?
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385. Who am I, Bill Nye the Science Guy?
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386. I don't know what any of this stuff is—
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387. That's Dean's bag...
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388. was Dean's bag.
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389. I wish Dean was here!
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390. Oh, mother of mercy, what have I done?
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391. Keep it together!
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392. All right, we're gonna have
to do this commando style.
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393. You want me to...
take off my underwear?
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394. Coolness.
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395. It slipped!
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396. Stupid hands are all sweaty.
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397. Oh, what is this?
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398. Aw, all over my nice floors.
Hank— Oh!
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399. Ow!
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400. What the—? Wh-Who are you?
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401. Deeeeeaannn!
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402. Oh no, I-I've created a monster!
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403. Sergeant Hatred! Help!
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404. Come quick! I-I—
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405. Weird.
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406. Weird, weird, weird.
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407. They're all just standing
there like the living dead.
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408. All with shaved heads,
all wearin' the same outfits...
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409. Brainwashed, probably.
Copy !req
410. Yeah, you were right.
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411. This is definitely some strango
cult stuff goin' on right here.
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412. Bodies... dozens of them.
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413. In an open grave out back.
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414. Most of 'em look like—
They look like kids, sir!
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415. Those sick bastards.
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416. Okay, hit 'em with the lights.
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417. Attention, you inside the compound!
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418. 'The hell?
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419. This is the police.
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420. Dude, your dad called the cops!
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421. We gotta bolt right now!
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422. - H-How?
- Don't you guys have a plane?
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423. I don't know how to fly it.
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424. And my pilot's license is only
rated for single engine craft.
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425. So we're gonna need wheels.
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426. My dad's car! We just washed it!
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427. That's the murder weapon, dingus!
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428. Why don't we just hop
on your brother's corpse
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429. and toboggan down to the
county jail while we're at it?
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430. Dean.
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431. Dean?
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432. I'm sorry I tried to play God!
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433. Please go away!
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434. Ah-ha!
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435. Fire bad! You fear fire!
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436. What are you talking about?
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437. Whoa!
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438. Fire!
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439. Fire!
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440. We've got a fire inside the compound.
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441. They're goin' full Waco on us.
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442. This is it people!
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443. We gotta save those kids in there!
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444. Move in! Move in!
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445. Freeze!
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446. Down on the ground, baldy!
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447. Doc! Doc!
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448. Code orange! Fire in the compound!
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449. Yeah, no duh.
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450. You gotta get to—
Oh, hey! It's the police!
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451. Man, you guys got here qui-
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452. This is your last warning, Churchy.
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453. If you do not drop down
and spread 'em in 3... 2...
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454. Hey, c'mon now, fellas!
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455. Don't you know who I work for?
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456. Yeah. Me. They're not impressed.
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457. That my hard drive?
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458. Hey, listen, uh, any questionable images
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459. you may or may not find on there
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460. are 100% computer-generated.
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461. Uh, sheriff?
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462. You'd better get out here...
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463. Freedom!
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464. Not again!
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465. - You think they saw us?
- Look, dude! Look out!
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466. Hey, that's where that is.
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467. Dean!
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468. All I wanted was to grow my hair back!
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469. W-What do you want from me?
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470. I want your pretty little life!
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471. And your smooth, pretty little face!
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472. I don't even want to be a scientist!
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473. I'm only doing this because
my dad made me do it!
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474. Me too!
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475. What in the hell is that?
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476. Probably the comet these poor fools think
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477. they're gonna fly away to heaven on.
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478. Dude! Hold up!
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479. - Stop here!
- Did we miss a turn?
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480. This is my house. I gotta go.
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481. Dermott, sweety? Is that you?
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482. Coming...
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483. - W-What about Mexico?
- I got curfew.
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484. Besides, someone has to stay here
and disseminate the cover story.
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485. - Dermott...
- I'm coming! Jeez!
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486. Take a chill pill, why don't ya?
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487. Vaya con Dios, dude.
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488. Take this. You're gonna need it.
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489. Get me, like, fireworks and Spanish fly.
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490. Son?
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491. That's enough.
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492. D-Daddy?
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493. You don't need to hurt
that other poor Dean
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494. to get what you want.
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495. - I don't?
- No, son.
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496. Because all you ever really
wanted was a father's love.
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497. And you don't need
to look like him to get it.
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498. - I don't?
- Of course not.
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499. Aside from some basic hygiene issues,
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500. you're perfect just the way you are.
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501. Now come here.
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502. Give your old man a hug.
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503. That's it.
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504. Let it all out.
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505. Don't be shy, now. Hug away!
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506. Daddy!
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507. Who the hell was that?
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508. Mexico.
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509. Hank! What the hell
do you think you're doing?
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510. Are you kidding? Are you kidding?
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511. You set fire to your brother's lab,
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512. you try to run away in my people mover,
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513. you call the police on me?
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514. And you think that entitles
you to listen to records?
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515. What world are you living in,
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516. where you think there's even a chance
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517. that you won't be grounded
for the rest of the year?
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518. And you don't take a man's
Jimmy Buffet records
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519. without askin' either!
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