1. Gentlemen,
welcome to Spider-Skull Island!
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2. And to the first ever
Summit of the Fraternity of Torment!
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3. May our hatred bind us together
always in villainous brotherhood.
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4. Hatred for the cruel society...
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5. that once mocked us for our differences.
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6. Man-o-taur your size made you
an outcast among men...
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7. but now they fear you.
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8. - Brainulo, your deformity has—
- It's not a deformity!
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9. Oh. Yeah.
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10. Your heart wrenching
addiction to plastic surgery has—
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11. I was born like this—
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12. 1,000 years from now!
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13. Right, OK.
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14. Screw your brotherhood, Scaramantula.
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15. I came here in a robot!
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16. The only reason I've deigned
to ally my superior mind...
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17. with this syndicate of smallbrains
is to exact revenge upon Dr. Venture...
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18. for stranding me here in 19-shitty-9!
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19. We'll get to that.
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20. But first we must give
a warm Fraternity of Torment welcome...
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21. to our newest member, Dr. Fangdragon.
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22. No doubt your supernumerary nipple...
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23. made you a pariah
in your childhood village of...
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24. Japan-inowa?
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25. Yes. That's why I'm all evil now.
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26. And I hate Dr. Venture!
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27. As do we all,
my thoroughly Japanese friend...
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28. who is easily— easily— six foot two.
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29. But I have a plan to eliminate Venture...
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30. once and for all!
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31. Behold!
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32. If Venture does not
surrender to us within the hour...
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33. we will feed his boy
to my ravenous piranhas!
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34. Alright! Alright!
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35. Fantastic!
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36. Classic! I'll bet I know
what Dr. Venture will say...
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37. when he gets a load of that!
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38. What is that, my uncharacteristically
hirsute Asian comrade?
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39. Go, Team Venture!
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40. Ah!
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41. What? Ah!
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42. Go, Team Venture!
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43. No, no, no! Wait, wait!
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44. Aw, come on!
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45. Have at you!
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46. Ha! Ha!
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47. Futuro!
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48. Squash them like the bugs they are!
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49. Go Team Venture!
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50. Action!
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51. Action! Action!
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52. Action! Action! Action!
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53. Whoa, whoa, whoa, Rodney!
What are you doing?
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54. What? I'm winning the day!
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55. Well, take it down a notch.
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56. I mean, Ook-Ook is a mindless savage...
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57. and even he knows
when to pull his punches.
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58. Ook! Ook!
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59. My chest hurts.
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60. My tongue is too big for my mouth.
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61. Take five, Humongloid.
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62. You've fought bravely.
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63. Oh, yes yes.
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64. What the devil is that?
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65. Italian!
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66. It's a self-destruct countdown.
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67. Aw, why they always gotta pull that?
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68. Fan out, Team Venture!
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69. We've got to find that bomb!
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70. Huh. False alarm.
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71. So...
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72. you fellas think
that champagne's still cold?
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73. Say, Dickie!
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74. Get a picture of us
in our new headquarters, will ya?
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75. You betcha, Doc!
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76. OK, everyone!
Say "Go, Team Venture!"
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77. Go Team Venture!
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78. And that's how Dad
captured Spider-Skull Island...
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79. and so I can think
of no more fitting home...
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80. for the Jonas Venture Junior
Museum of Jonas Venture.
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81. Alright, simmer down!
I'm warnin' ye!
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82. If ya don't quit yer bickerin',
I'm turnin' this vessel around!
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83. I remember...
when...
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84. this was all under water.
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85. Yeah, it's always sad when that happens.
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86. A little souvenir from one of
Dad's very first adventures.
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87. This is the real "atomic secret"...
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88. the Rosenbergs
tried to sell to the Russians.
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89. Will you excuse me, gentlemen?
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90. Hi, Uncle J.J.!
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91. Hello, boys. Say, Brock?
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92. My bartender whips up
a Shirley Temple that's out of this world!
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93. Maybe you should take the boys?
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94. Oh, yeah, yeah. Sure.
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95. C'mon, boys lets go wet
our non-alcoholic whiskers.
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96. Score!
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97. You're late.
And I told you it was black tie.
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98. - This is.
- That means formal evening dress.
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99. Not a Scooby-Doo purple suit
with a clip-on that happens to be black!
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100. Dean thought I looked nice.
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101. We're representing Dad here!
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102. Show some dignity.
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103. - I don't think he's going to mind.
- Well, I mind!
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104. Practically everyone
Dad ever worked with is here.
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105. Great. I'm gonna have to talk to
the Harlem Globetrotters again?
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106. Sir, there's a disturbance in the hangar.
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107. I'm busy, tell the captain to take care of it.
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108. I bet you wondered how I managed
to escape all those times...
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109. or how I kept my trim figure?
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110. Now all my secrets are revealed, huh?
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111. Geez, you'd think he could
have built an elevator in here.
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112. An escalator. A ramp!
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113. Anything!
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114. He once built a machine...
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115. it spun steel like spider's silk.
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116. Beautiful in the sunlight...
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117. the silvery web.
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118. Ho! Two at a time!
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119. Like it was yesterday!
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120. Come on, Team Venture, winded so soon?
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121. I'm gonna kill him.
I swear—
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122. I got plastic knees, you son of a bitch!
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123. Richard!
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124. You... made it.
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125. H-hello, again... Jonas.
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126. Yay! Super-car! Go car!
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127. I won't let you keep her, little man...
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128. - Pardon?
- N-nothing.
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129. It's all just like it was!
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130. - Wonderful!
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131. Welcome home
to Spider-Skull Island, gentlemen!
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132. Ah geez!
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133. What the hell are you?
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134. Oh, how impolite of me.
I'm Jonas Venture Junior.
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135. I'll show you to your table.
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136. Captain? Couldja be a pal
and tell Sally the Professor's arrived?
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137. I... whoo! Just gimme
a minute here, will ya?
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138. Oh, and take
Ned with you, wouldja?
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139. Thanks, Cap.
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140. Alright there, big fella.
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141. Time ta get out of the flyin' car...
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142. Come on, now, Ned,
don't make this—
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143. Yarrr!
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144. Humongloid!
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145. - Long time no see, pally!
- Fellas, thank God.
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146. Listen, do any of you need a roommate?
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147. S'matter? Ain't there enough room
for you at the Venture compound?
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148. The compound's fine but those kids...
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149. keep trying to flush me down
the fucking toilet!
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150. They think I'm the Ty-D-Bol man.
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151. Yeah, they're not exactly
the brightest bulbs on the ol' Menorah.
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152. Yes!
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153. Told ya! Pay up!
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154. Hey, there, Miss Sally,
the chairman asked me to—
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155. - Jeepers!
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156. Aaaah!
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157. Yaarrr!
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158. Sorry! Sorry.
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159. Geez, this is all kinds of uncomfortable.
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160. On, like, a couple of levels here.
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161. So, uh, whaddya think?
Pretty impressive set-up, huh?
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162. Yeah, it's only missing one thing.
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163. Chicks?
Not-deformed guys?
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164. I'll give you a hint—
who was, for 43 years...
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165. the only son of Dr. Jonas Venture?
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166. Who, from the ages of 3 to 17...
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167. accompanied him
on hundreds of adventures...
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168. the chilling memories of which
rouse him from sleep...
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169. in a cold sweat to this day?
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170. Oh, speaking of which didja get a look
at that ice sculpture at the bar?
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171. Yeah, I got one just like it
in bronze on my front lawn.
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172. - Why?
- Yeah, you should eh...
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173. go check it out.
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174. Hello, Richard.
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175. Sally! I, eh...
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176. Did you bring the divorce papers?
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177. I... think I left them in my other s-suit.
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178. Dammit, Richard. Never mind.
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179. - Wait!
- I have a copy upstai—
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180. Wait!
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181. Take me back, Sally.
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182. Richard, no.
We've been through this.
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183. I worked too much. I realize that, now.
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184. I-I-I'm learning to have more f-fun.
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185. See, look?
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186. Hey, hey!
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187. Pull yourself together,
Richard, you're a mess.
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188. My... er... girlfriend
likes my hair this way.
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189. She's young, and, eh...
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190. we're getting a boat!
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191. No, that's a lie.
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192. You know me so well.
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193. Gimme another double sidecar.
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194. No, no, no, Paulo!
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195. The canapes come out now.
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196. I can't believe you invited him!
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197. What?
Who, Richard?
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198. He was in the boys' brigade!
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199. Ned! No! No, Ned, no!
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200. Captain!
Do something about that!
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201. I'm not finished with you.
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202. Man-howdy, you would have loved it!
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203. Friday night, we'd fly down to Cuba...
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204. arch Castro for a couple of hours...
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205. then swing up to the
White House for "debriefing"--
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206. which was Jack's code
for one of his legendary pool parties.
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207. - Right, right.
- 'Round 2:00, we'd jet over to Vegas...
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208. in time to catch
Frank's last show at the Sands!
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209. Then bingo-bongo,
down to Cocoa Beach...
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210. to whoop it up
with the Mercury Guys.
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211. - Right.
- What a pisser!
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212. Hey, what's that guy's story?
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213. He one of you, too?
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214. Nah, that's Brainulo,
one of our old nemeses.
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215. 'Claimed he was some kinda...
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216. super-genius from the future. I don't know.
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217. Super-senile now if you ask me.
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218. Oh. My. God.
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219. You're the Action Man, aren't you?
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220. Action!
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221. This is unbelievable!
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222. Can I get your autograph?
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223. Sure thing, Venturoo.
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224. Who do I make it out to?
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225. Holy crap, you're all here!
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226. Man, I don't know if I brought
enough— White!
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227. How much cash
do you have on you?
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228. You told me it was open bar!
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229. What're you guys charging? 10? 20?
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230. - No, son, we—
- Will you take a check, please?
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231. I'm a friend of Rusty's!
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232. Ned, no!
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233. Leave him be
and put yer pants on.
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234. Yer makin' people sick!
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235. Sorry there, fella.
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236. Ned, come back here!
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237. You were trying
to command Futuro!
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238. A-Are you my mommy?
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239. Stop faking.
You're not senile, I saw you!
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240. Alright, fine. Now be quiet about it!
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241. I want to lull the puny-minded Ventures...
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242. into a false sense of security...
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243. that I may strike
when they least expect it!
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244. Can I help you?
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245. I hate what they've done
to this room.
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246. Very well.
Tonight, the Fraternity of Torment...
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247. will have its revenge!
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248. Go, Team Venture!
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249. Oh, those diabolical
sons of bitches!
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250. No, no, see— there's four here...
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251. the eyebrows are five and six...
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252. and the moustache,
she makes eight legs.
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253. Eh? See? Tarantula...
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254. - Scaramantula!
- Ohhh.
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255. God, I always wondered
about that. Thanks!
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256. Could you sign it, too?
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257. You were like my favorite
villain ever.
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258. No offense.
It's a big head thing.
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259. Vanish!
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260. This is what you call vengeance?
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261. It's killing them
our line is longer than theirs!
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262. Look how they keep looking over! Oh!
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263. Oh, hey, Rusty!
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264. For you, no charge!
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265. I just came by to say how glad I am...
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266. you were all able to make it out...
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267. to gorge yourselves on free shrimp
in my father's honor.
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268. OK, Doc—
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269. Too bad your old pal
Colonel Gentleman couldn't be here...
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270. to bask in the glory with you—
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271. Oh... or did you guys
get him killed, too?
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272. It's the ghost
of Colonel Gentleman!
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273. That's for breaking
my stepdaughter's heart!
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274. Hey, hey, now...
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275. Don't try it, Prince Adam!
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276. This old panther's still got moves
that'll make your mullet spin!
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277. But you're supposed to be dead.
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278. Nonsense, I'm an ox!
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279. But we poked you and everything.
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280. Oh, that was you?
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281. Kiki told me someone had been
in the flat while he was gone...
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282. We'd had our rows before...
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283. but I'd never seen him like that.
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284. A taut, brown spitfire—
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285. strafing me with recrimination
and Mumsy's china.
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286. When he walked out my door...
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287. I thought
"this time, you've done it, Gentleman.
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288. "He's left you for good."
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289. So I buried my grief
in an entire box of Malomars—
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290. with a Yoo-Hoo chaser!
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291. Well, you boys must have
happened upon me...
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292. whilst I was in the throes
of a diabetic coma.
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293. Ohh.
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294. Thankfully, Kiki soon came
to his senses...
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295. and he crawled back to the best
god damn thing...
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296. that ever happened to him...
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297. Kiki! You've come back to me!
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298. Kiki is so sorry,
Master Gentleman.
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299. That's for givin' me a coma,
ya fickle ponce!
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300. Get up!
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301. I was in desperate need of a good workout.
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302. Gaw!
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303. Blasted Malomars...
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304. my tits are back!
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305. And a few poppers later...
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306. Kiki gave me one, by God.
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307. And a thousand sweat-soaked
silent sorries later...
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308. we were back together.
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309. Anyway, you can read
all about it my memoirs...
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310. Watch out! Incoming frog men!
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311. Wow.
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312. Please don't touch the displays.
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313. Sam in a sweater. Extra ice.
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314. Way to bodyguard.
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315. Well, he wasn't tryin'
to kill ya, so technically...
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316. You boys enjoying the party?
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317. Oh don't you even—!
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318. Everything's great, J.J.
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319. - You really outdid yourself.
- Great, great.
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320. Say, can I borrow him for a minute?
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321. There's this picture
I'm just dying to get...
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322. while everyone's here—
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323. J.J. I need to talk to you. Now.
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324. - Listen, can it wait, hon'?
- No, it cannot wait!
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325. You've been ignoring me
the entire night!
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326. You never told me you were
inviting Richard, and now he's—
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327. You're obviously upset...
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328. and I want to be there for you,
Funnyface.
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329. Just hold that thought
and I'll be back in a mo'.
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330. Promise.
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331. I-I can't believe
you slept with Killer Manjaro.
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332. - I had no idea he was... you know.
- Neither did he.
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333. Till the day he tried to ambush me...
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334. in the middle of a threesome
with Gore Vidal and Wally Schirra!
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335. Hey fellas, if I could
get you all to gather...
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336. in the next room for a moment,
I'd like to— w-what is this?
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337. Are you selling autographs?
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338. Like gangbusters!
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339. We made table money
in the first five minutes!
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340. Y-You can't do that here—
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341. you're cheapening the memory.
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342. Listen, pot noodle,
we are the memory, OK?
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343. Now I saw your "suggested donation"
box on the way in.
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344. So unless you're giving us
a cut of the door...
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345. I suggest you go roust Spiderman...
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346. and the Great Gazoo over there.
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347. Look at them!
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348. Ratting us out to the man. Cowards!
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349. Incompetent fool!
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350. The man should be wearing
a rubber ass on his face instead!
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351. But why ally myself with
Scara-mental-case...
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352. when there's plenty of evil to work with...
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353. right here in this room?
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354. This entire museum
is a psychic powder keg!
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355. All I need do is light the match!
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356. You want those, don't you?
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357. Take them!
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358. She doesn't love you anymore
and she shan't again.
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359. Feel the burn!
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360. You gotta do somethin', Captain!
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361. Not for nuthin', but...
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362. he's drivin' us up a friggin' wall here!
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363. 800 napkins, and he makes me...
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364. re-fold every last one of them.
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365. "I told you triangles," he says.
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366. And it's the way he tells ya stuff.
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367. Like he's sayin' it all nice...
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368. but then he's really
sticking it to ya, like...
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369. between the lines.
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370. Look, believe me...
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371. I hear ya, little Joe.
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372. But the chairman's been
good to all of us.
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373. He's just under a lotta stress...
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374. right now with the openin'.
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375. Things was better before.
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376. Things was better when
you was our leader.
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377. We was stuck in
the Sargassum for ten years.
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378. Yeah, but we was free!
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379. We was pirates!
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380. Now we're nuthin' but a buncha
trained monkeys.
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381. And he's made you
the biggest monkey of all.
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382. No disrespect.
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383. Captain?
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384. Captain, where did you get off to?
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385. We're taking the picture!
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386. Alright.
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387. You got it, Hector?
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388. OK, come on in here, Swift!
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389. Where do you want me?
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390. Oh, I forgot, you weren't
in the original.
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391. You want to take it?
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392. I seem to have lost my Captain.
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393. I'm right here, damn it.
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394. Guess I don't need you after all, Rust.
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395. Captain's a heckuva shutterbug...
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396. though not a very punctual one.
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397. Oh yah, ya got the shutter speed set...
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398. way too low there.
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399. Wait, someone's missing.
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400. Ook-ook!
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401. Captain! Come and be our Ook-Ook.
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402. Ya could photoshop'm in later...
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403. Come on, it'll be fun!
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404. Aw, geez... Ya mind, Rusty?
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405. Richard! You should take it.
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406. You took the original—
how perfect!
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407. - O-OK.
- Oh, oh wait, Cap.
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408. Take your shirt off and slouch.
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409. You're supposed to be a caveman!
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410. No! I'm not comfortable with th—
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411. Come on, be a sport. It'll be riot!
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412. Look, yer pushin'
me buttons now, chairman.
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413. I've had about alls I can take!
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414. Ya been runnin' me ragged all day...
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415. and I'm tired a'bein'
yer dangblasted trained monkey! Eh!
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416. That's for callin'
Ook-Ook a monkey!
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417. Fellers? You were right.
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418. Now who feels like bein'
a pirate again?
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419. Khe San, 1970.
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420. You still hear the cries
of the children...
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421. as you burned their village. Work with that!
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422. You fantasize about conquering...
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423. the mother from Growing Pains?
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424. Aw, yeah, that episode...
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425. where they showed her
in the bathtub—?
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426. Uh wha, eh.
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427. Sally!
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428. Yes! Here we go.
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429. Sally!
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430. I did it all for you, Sally.
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431. Hoo— oh.
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432. Don't fight! Don't fight, little man!
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433. This is gonna be one of
those "things," isn't it?
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434. Hmm?
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435. I mean, you get a bunch
of shortfused, costumed idiots...
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436. together in one room like this
and what do you think's gonna happen?
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437. Any minute now,
stuffs gonna start blowing up...
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438. guys'll be throwing each other
into other guys.
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439. - Yeah. Probably.
- Huh.
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440. You know, when you're not
the one in the middle of it all for once...
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441. it's actually totally, completely obvious.
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442. Uh-huh. Welcome to my life.
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443. Boys! C'mon, we're going.
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444. Ahoy there!
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445. Listen up, all of ya!
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446. We're takin' this ship! Yar!
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447. Yo ho, ho!
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448. Jinky! It's pirates!
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449. Go, Team Venture!
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450. Weee!
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451. Yes! Yes!
Dance, my puppets!
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452. Dance!
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453. I never met my father.
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454. All of my memories of him come
from these old films...
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455. the items on display here...
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456. at the Jonas Venture Junior
Museum of Jonas Venture...
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457. and the anecdotes that you,
those closest to him...
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458. have been kind enough
to share with me...
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459. No! No!
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460. You won't defeat me again, Venture!
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461. Strike them down,
my colossal metal friend!
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462. Now, while
their underdeveloped brains...
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463. are drunk on saccharine
sentimentality!
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464. Dr. Venture.
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465. What would you say was your
greatest adventure...
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466. and, eh, parenthetically eh...
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467. what is your greatest invention?
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468. Well, Dick, those are both
excellent questions.
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469. But I'm afraid I only have
one answer—
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470. My son.
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471. Awwww. That's sweet.
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472. Captain?
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473. The house lights... please?
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474. You got it, chairman.
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475. Well, it seems my father
still has much to teach us.
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476. Which is exactly why I built...
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477. the Jonas Venture Junior
Museum of Jonas Venture.
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478. To spread Dad's message
of hope, love and super-science.
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479. And now, if I may...
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480. I'd like to ask my brother
to say a few words. Rusty?
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481. But it's a melee!
You live for that crap!
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482. I'm your bodyguard. Not your brother's.
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483. He can put out his own fires.
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484. Come on! Move, damn you!
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485. Just lift one foot for me...
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486. step on someone. Anyone!
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487. Work with me here!
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488. Wow. Good call.
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489. That was totally worth crapping
myself in front of everyone.
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490. Oh screw it, let's go!
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491. We come back to fight another day!
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492. - Wait, Brock. Don't. We have to go back.
- Whaaat?
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493. He's family, Brock.
And... he's in trouble.
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494. He needs us.
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495. - Pff! Get the fuck outta here.
- Ha ha!
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496. Had you goin' for a minute,
there, didn't I? Huh?
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497. - Yeah.
- Had you goin'!
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498. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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499. Due...
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500. uno...
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501. Oh, Richard, that was one of the
most selfless things I've ever seen.
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502. - Thank you...
- Yes, thank you, Richard.
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503. And you're welcome
in our home any time.
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504. Tell the truth.
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505. You was just tryin' to kill
yourself, weren't ya?
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