1. 30 years.Copy !req
2. Geez, that's how long
it's been, uh, Dr. Venture.Copy !req
3. Do you remember that day?
"State of the art," you said.Copy !req
4. And "Oi, nothing's gonna happen."Copy !req
5. And at the first sign of trouble...Copy !req
6. you abandon
your best friend—Copy !req
7. strand me
in this fucking hellhole!Copy !req
8. What?
It would've killed you to call?Copy !req
9. That's it.
Just like that.Copy !req
10. Easy! Pull back a bit.
God, you're right on top of me!Copy !req
11. Can't help it. It's— it's stiff, Doc.Copy !req
12. Maybe I should lube this thing up
before we take it down there.Copy !req
13. It'll be fine.Copy !req
14. It's not built for speed.
It's built for deep penetration.Copy !req
15. All right, that's it.Copy !req
16. You promised, no penetration jokes.Copy !req
17. Oh, come on!Copy !req
18. Look at that thing!Copy !req
19. How could I resist?Copy !req
20. It's practically a monument
to my father's repression.Copy !req
21. You want me to
turn this thing around?Copy !req
22. Fine, spoilsport.Copy !req
23. All right, keep it moving.Copy !req
24. You're doing fi—Copy !req
25. Aaaah!Copy !req
26. Doc, what's goin' on?Copy !req
27. What the hell, Doc?Copy !req
28. Now where'd you—Copy !req
29. Aw, snap, Doc!
Doc?Copy !req
30. You OK down there?Copy !req
31. Did you break anything?Copy !req
32. How's your hip?Copy !req
33. Doc, can you hear me?Copy !req
34. Doc? Doc?Copy !req
35. Ohh. Oh.Copy !req
36. Why, yes, I'm fine, Brock.Copy !req
37. Thanks for asking.Copy !req
38. Gonna need you to throw down
a rope or something, though.Copy !req
39. Ohh!Copy !req
40. And my wellies, if you can find them.Copy !req
41. If you go in my closet they're
on the bottom left of my shoe tr—Copy !req
42. Hello, are you listening?Copy !req
43. Brock?Copy !req
44. OK, if you're screening me,
this is an official emergency...Copy !req
45. and your employer
would like you to pick up in 3... 2... 1?Copy !req
46. Doc?Copy !req
47. Doc, ya down there?Copy !req
48. Di-e-e-e, Dr. Venture!Copy !req
49. Aah! Aah! Aah!Copy !req
50. Ow! Damn it! Ow!Copy !req
51. Aah!Copy !req
52. Holy crap! You're not a rat!Copy !req
53. And you're not Dr. Venture.Copy !req
54. Oh, no, no, no, no, no!Copy !req
55. You closed it.Copy !req
56. Why would you do that?Copy !req
57. It was an accident!
What?Copy !req
58. This is a nuclear fallout shelter, Boychick.Copy !req
59. You just set the time lock
for 40 years— another 40 years!Copy !req
60. Get outta here.Copy !req
61. I would if I could!Copy !req
62. Now, where the hell is Jonas?Copy !req
63. Why isn't he with you?Copy !req
64. See? Same with Brock's channel.
It's like they vanished into thin air.Copy !req
65. Which is kind of your whole deal, so...Copy !req
66. And you're certain they haven't simply
stepped out?Copy !req
67. They have been known to engage...Copy !req
68. in impromptu derring-do
from time to time.Copy !req
69. Without us?Copy !req
70. Can you think of
even one place on Earth...Copy !req
71. they wouldn't drag us along to?Copy !req
72. Look at this.Copy !req
73. That is a giant centipede scar!Copy !req
74. Besides, the X-1's still in the hangar
and we had plans today.Copy !req
75. Family plans.Copy !req
76. There was even talk of French toast.Copy !req
77. But there was none to be had.Copy !req
78. Hmm.Copy !req
79. A most compelling mystery, indeed.Copy !req
80. Make yourselves comfortable,
sons of Venture...Copy !req
81. while I assemble...Copy !req
82. Would you prefer to be alone for this?Copy !req
83. Magic beacon, shed your light...Copy !req
84. through fog of time and darkest night...Copy !req
85. though scorpions sting and spiders bite...Copy !req
86. that we may wage our triune fight!Copy !req
87. He wrote a little poem...Copy !req
88. to his dollies.Copy !req
89. - Ugh!
- Really? He's dead?Copy !req
90. You don't say.
How long is he dead?Copy !req
91. Like 20 years. Where you been?Copy !req
92. Here... for, like, 30.Copy !req
93. So, that's really how
people wear their hair now?Copy !req
94. - Men?
- Look, you're so freakin' clever...Copy !req
95. how'd you get your little ass
stuck in here the first time?Copy !req
96. Ah, well, as with all
juicy science-fiction tales...Copy !req
97. this one starts with an accident.Copy !req
98. We were testing the system...Copy !req
99. something went horribly wrong...Copy !req
100. and Jonas abandoned the project.Copy !req
101. End of story.Copy !req
102. Would've been nice if
he'd at least taken a last look around...Copy !req
103. maybe see if he forgot nothing—
best friend.Copy !req
104. Geez, no wonder
you wanted to kill him.Copy !req
105. I'm really not
a violent man by nature...Copy !req
106. but 30 years fending off giant army ants...Copy !req
107. - .. makes anyone a little jumpy.
- I can imagine.Copy !req
108. No... you really can't.Copy !req
109. And just when
you've killed the last of them...Copy !req
110. a-and you think it's OK to feel safe again...Copy !req
111. that's when the real horror begins.Copy !req
112. That's when you realize you're all alone.Copy !req
113. There's no one left to talk to.Copy !req
114. Y-you could talk to the ants?Copy !req
115. No, you don't wanna actually talk to them.Copy !req
116. That would be silly.Copy !req
117. They wouldn't have
anything to say anyway, other than...Copy !req
118. "Hey, let's eat and/or have sex
with this us-sized guy."Copy !req
119. Order of the Triad, assemble!Copy !req
120. What do you want? My stories are on.Copy !req
121. Where this sucker at?Copy !req
122. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
123. Can't hide from the blood eye, baby.Copy !req
124. I'm on ya.Copy !req
125. Order of the Triad, assemble!Copy !req
126. Damn it, Orpheus.
I almost had that bloodsucker. Aw!Copy !req
127. Now I got the blue balls in my blood eye.Copy !req
128. My apologies, old friend.Copy !req
129. But the order of the Triad
is ne— what are you doing in—Copy !req
130. I-is this London?Copy !req
131. Hey, man, I gotta go where the Blacktion is.Copy !req
132. What the hell are you talking about?
This is my apartment.Copy !req
133. Not you.
I was talking to Jefferson.Copy !req
134. - I am Jefferson.
- No, now I'm talking to Al.Copy !req
135. You are ordered to stay close
in case of a Triad emergency!Copy !req
136. You talking to me?Copy !req
137. Ugh! Will you learn
how to double-project already?Copy !req
138. It gets confusing.Copy !req
139. But— would you hold?Copy !req
140. - Mm-hmm.
- Yes, I understand—Copy !req
141. Tell him I say hi, at least.Copy !req
142. Two— you don't order me
to do anything. You're not my mama.Copy !req
143. She was taken by
Marauding Blaculas when I was 10.Copy !req
144. And I'm sorry for your loss, but—Copy !req
145. Three— there is never a Triad emergency.Copy !req
146. Well, there's no need
to be petulant about it.Copy !req
147. Give him hell, J.T.!Copy !req
148. And four— this ain't London.Copy !req
149. Sweet!Copy !req
150. The action figures came?Copy !req
151. Finally!Copy !req
152. Merchandising—
that's where the real money's at!Copy !req
153. Cha-ching!Copy !req
154. Actually, Hasbro passed.Copy !req
155. - These I made myself.
- Hmm. Nice work.Copy !req
156. Little on the creepy side, but—
you sculpted these yourself?Copy !req
157. Oh, heavens, no.Copy !req
158. I merely repainted
an old Mego doll of the Falcon.Copy !req
159. Aw!Copy !req
160. Would you rather be Spock
with a bald spot? I'll trade ya.Copy !req
161. DR. Well,
now I know why my heating bills...Copy !req
162. are through the roof.Copy !req
163. Huh?Copy !req
164. What the...Copy !req
165. Well, I don't detect any astral rifts...Copy !req
166. temporal anomalies,
or ectoplasmic residue.Copy !req
167. And they haven't been taken by Blaculas...Copy !req
168. though I'm not prepared
to rule out Caucasian vampires.Copy !req
169. It appears your father was engaged...Copy !req
170. in some sort of experiment.Copy !req
171. But why would he
abandon it in such haste?Copy !req
172. He gets bored pretty easy.Copy !req
173. And rarely tidies his work area.Copy !req
174. Hey, do you think maybe—Copy !req
175. and I'm gonna go out
on a limb here— they went...Copy !req
176. down there?Copy !req
177. Y-you mean you didn't... check?Copy !req
178. Are you kidding?
That's, like, the basement!Copy !req
179. It's super spooky down there.Copy !req
180. Oh, dear god.Copy !req
181. Aw, no, no, no, no, no, no!Copy !req
182. Well, why else would we call
magic guys to help us look?Copy !req
183. So, was it this accident
that made you all tiny, too—Copy !req
184. like some kind of shrink bomb?Copy !req
185. Boy, you really live
in a little dream world, don't you?Copy !req
186. You got the shrink bombs
and the men who talk to the ants.Copy !req
187. Booga-booga.Copy !req
188. No, no, see,
I used to be 15 feet tall as a result...Copy !req
189. of another accident...Copy !req
190. which left me with
a terminal case of supergigantism.Copy !req
191. Jonas and I worked together
to find a cure, and, uh...Copy !req
192. I guess we took it a little too far.Copy !req
193. That's a pun.Copy !req
194. Hello?
Mr. Venture?Copy !req
195. Mr. Samson?Copy !req
196. Triad emergency.Copy !req
197. I said I was sorry.
The boys have very...Copy !req
198. active imaginations.Copy !req
199. They're given to...Copy !req
200. flights of fancy.Copy !req
201. Yes, the little imps
have certainly skylarked us...Copy !req
202. into quite a mare's nest this time.Copy !req
203. The skinny one thinkin'
he has a shot with his daughter—Copy !req
204. now, that's an active imagination.Copy !req
205. Are you finished?Copy !req
206. Then let us try to get
a psychic lock on them.Copy !req
207. I will shine the light of Thelos!Copy !req
208. I'll cast a spell of unveiling.Copy !req
209. I'll, um...Copy !req
210. check for Blaculas.Copy !req
211. Nope, no Blaculas.Copy !req
212. Hey, you know
what you kind of remind me of?Copy !req
213. That guy from the old Marvel comics.Copy !req
214. - The Mariner?
- Think he was in the Avengers.Copy !req
215. - Hawkeye.
- Scientist dude, like you.Copy !req
216. He was, like, the size of, uh, an ant.Copy !req
217. Look, your Marvel comics—Copy !req
218. I-I read "Archie."Copy !req
219. Wait...Copy !req
220. I'm getting something.Copy !req
221. Me too.Copy !req
222. Join hands, Triad!Copy !req
223. Our bond is our strength!Copy !req
224. Geez, Jefferson.Copy !req
225. You ever hear of Jergens?Copy !req
226. I told you I'm not into rough trade.Copy !req
227. The leather hilts on my Blacula blades—
they chap, man.Copy !req
228. - Gentlemen!
- Right.Copy !req
229. I see them.Copy !req
230. They are safe...Copy !req
231. but I sense... confusion...Copy !req
232. anxiety... and... something else.Copy !req
233. A presence...Copy !req
234. Aah!Copy !req
235. Ohh!Copy !req
236. Ugh!Copy !req
237. Triad, retreat!Copy !req
238. Huh? Huh?Copy !req
239. What'd I tell ya?Copy !req
240. Heebie-jeebies, right?Copy !req
241. That face!Copy !req
242. Some unspeakable horror
has transpired below.Copy !req
243. The air is thick with psychic residue.Copy !req
244. I can still smell the brimstone.Copy !req
245. No, I think that's sulphur.Copy !req
246. No, I think that's Mr. Jefferson.Copy !req
247. Yeah, I'm gonna need—Copy !req
248. Hey, you got any pants—Copy !req
249. like... extra pants?Copy !req
250. I fear this is beyond
even our combined powers.Copy !req
251. I must seek guidance from the master!Copy !req
252. - Wait here, please.
- Oh, come on!Copy !req
253. We're supposed to be a team.Copy !req
254. How come we never get to see
this all-knowing guy with you?Copy !req
255. Yeah, tell the truth.
You're embarrassed of us, aren't you?Copy !req
256. It's 'cause he's gay, isn't it?Copy !req
257. No, it's because you've soiled yourself.Copy !req
258. And he's gay.Copy !req
259. Not diggin' this Charlie's Angels crap.Copy !req
260. Well, they at least had an intercom.
What do we get?Copy !req
261. Oh, thank god.Copy !req
262. Hello?Copy !req
263. Hello, police?Copy !req
264. Batman?Copy !req
265. What?Copy !req
266. I'm not doing that.Copy !req
267. - Hello?
- Hello?Copy !req
268. Thank god!Copy !req
269. You gotta get me out of here!Copy !req
270. - Wait a minute. Where are you?
- I-I don't know.Copy !req
271. Some kind of sewer or something.Copy !req
272. Now come down here and get me!Copy !req
273. I can't.
I'm trapped, Doc.Copy !req
274. Look, we can talk about
your psychological problems later.Copy !req
275. Take a Valium and get over yourself.Copy !req
276. You need to get me out of here!Copy !req
277. I'm... not alone, Brock.Copy !req
278. What? Who's with you?Copy !req
279. I don't know. He just
keeps saying he's the firestarter.Copy !req
280. Hold on. He's coming back.Copy !req
281. Sir, what—
Man, he's quick.Copy !req
282. - Well, ask him which way is out.
- Ugh! I tried.Copy !req
283. He won't stand still for two seconds.Copy !req
284. He's probably spaced up
on yellowjackets from the looks of him.Copy !req
285. I'm trapped in a sewer
with a confessed arsonist, Brock!Copy !req
286. Help me!Copy !req
287. Hey!Copy !req
288. Aah!Copy !req
289. - Are you Rusty?
- Oh! Why, yes.Copy !req
290. Yes, I am. I see you're a fan.Copy !req
291. You don't look like Rusty.Copy !req
292. Rusty's right.Copy !req
293. If you're Rusty,
why have we not seen you here before?Copy !req
294. Oh, because, uh—
because I don't live here.Copy !req
295. I live... up there.Copy !req
296. But it is forbidden to go above.Copy !req
297. Well, sure.
Let's make that rule right now.Copy !req
298. The upstairs areas
are strictly off-limits to you people.Copy !req
299. But just this once—
if you show me how to get back...Copy !req
300. and you keep to the kitchen area—Copy !req
301. I'll allow you to come up
for a while, as a reward.Copy !req
302. What do you think, Rusty?Copy !req
303. We should let father decide.Copy !req
304. So, the great and powerful Oz
told you to call... tech support?Copy !req
305. Not in so many words.Copy !req
306. His directives are delivered
in a patois of symbols, allegory...Copy !req
307. the occasional abasement.Copy !req
308. My training enables me
to divine his purport.Copy !req
309. And you divined
this dude's phone number?Copy !req
310. No, that I found on a leaflet...Copy !req
311. he slipped beneath my windshield wipers.Copy !req
312. Oh, yeah.
Anywhere in the compound.Copy !req
313. Just let the ever-popular
Pete White's magic fingers...Copy !req
314. do the walkin'
and if they're here, this'll find 'em.Copy !req
315. This explains why pop
finds me so fast every time I run away...Copy !req
316. to live in the abandoned zoo.Copy !req
317. I didn't even know we had a room like this.Copy !req
318. Your loss. Rusty and I
hang out in here all the time.Copy !req
319. Oh, you know what's fun?Copy !req
320. When Brock has a lady friend over...Copy !req
321. you can switch it
to night vision and you can—Copy !req
322. uh, never mind.Copy !req
323. Hup! Speak of the devil!Copy !req
324. Hey, Brock!Copy !req
325. That's a tape, fellas.Copy !req
326. He can't see you.Copy !req
327. OK, he went in there...Copy !req
328. so I'll just pull up the video
from that room and— huh.Copy !req
329. I can't access those cameras.Copy !req
330. Boys, look around
and see if you can find any cables...Copy !req
331. or anything unplugged
down there, will ya?Copy !req
332. No, I don't have
the proportionate strength of an ant.Copy !req
333. I'm just a guy, OK?Copy !req
334. All right, sorry.Copy !req
335. I'm just makin' conversation.Copy !req
336. Let me tell you
something about the whole...Copy !req
337. "an ant can lift 100 times
its own weight" business.Copy !req
338. It's a myth, OK?Copy !req
339. How much do you think
an ant actually weighs?Copy !req
340. Like nothing.Copy !req
341. - What's nothing times a hundred?
- N-noth—Copy !req
342. It's nothing!Copy !req
343. M.U.T.H.E.R. is now online.Copy !req
344. M.U.T.H.E.R. wishes
to speak with Dr. Venture.Copy !req
345. Aw, he named
his hard drive "M.U.T.H.E.R."Copy !req
346. How cute is that?Copy !req
347. Incorrect response.Copy !req
348. This is not a request.Copy !req
349. M.U.T.H.E.R. will only
communicate with Dr. Venture.Copy !req
350. Get down!Copy !req
351. Don't let her see you!Copy !req
352. Come on!Copy !req
353. What? What is that thing?Copy !req
354. M.U.T.H.E.R.Copy !req
355. She's the supercomputer
Jonas built to run this place—Copy !req
356. sentient, controlling,
superbitch, ruin-my-life computer!Copy !req
357. Incorrect response.Copy !req
358. Where is Dr. Venture?Copy !req
359. You're sure he's dead, right?Copy !req
360. - Positive.
- Shivers!Copy !req
361. How is everything going?Copy !req
362. M.U.T.H.E.R.: Negative.Copy !req
363. - The house is mad at us for losing pop.
- M.U.T.H.E.R. demands to see Dr. Venture.Copy !req
364. The face! The face!Copy !req
365. Initiating contact with...Copy !req
366. Ven-tech missile defence system.Copy !req
367. If you do not produce Dr. Venture...Copy !req
368. M.U.T.H.E.R. will deploy
full nuclear arsenal.Copy !req
369. We're gone two minutes
to heat up some pizza rolls...Copy !req
370. and we come back to World War III?Copy !req
371. He started it!Copy !req
372. OK, OK, look.Copy !req
373. It's not as bad as it sounds.Copy !req
374. Well, it sounds pretty awful to me.Copy !req
375. Come on. Old phone lines?Copy !req
376. Antique, reel-to reel mainframe?Copy !req
377. We got plenty of time here.Copy !req
378. Now, everybody think.Copy !req
379. M.U.T.H.E.R. is awaiting connection
with Ven-tech defence system.Copy !req
380. Oi, who's doing that?Copy !req
381. Probably Doc trying to, uh, "save us."Copy !req
382. Typical Rusty.Copy !req
383. Schmeckeling around
with daddy's equipment.Copy !req
384. Would you— OK, easy!Copy !req
385. All right already. Stop pushing.Copy !req
386. Is that the guy from the Buggles?Copy !req
387. Silence!Copy !req
388. You are in the presence of the father!Copy !req
389. Oh, father,
a non-Rusty has entered our midst...Copy !req
390. and we fear he brings
contamination from above.Copy !req
391. We humbly seek
your wisdom and guidance.Copy !req
392. Show us the way to cleanse ourselves.Copy !req
393. You were right to bring him here, Rusty.Copy !req
394. Now, let us see what father has to say.Copy !req
395. Always to wash behind one's ears!Copy !req
396. Always to brush before bedtime!Copy !req
397. Oh, hello, Rusty!Copy !req
398. Hello, father.Copy !req
399. What?Copy !req
400. You're looking well.
Enjoying your new life belowground?Copy !req
401. Yes, father.Copy !req
402. Ha ha! Good!Copy !req
403. Because today
I'd like to talk to you about...Copy !req
404. personal hygiene!Copy !req
405. Ahh!
- Good, good, good!Copy !req
406. As humanity's last hope...Copy !req
407. the burden of preserving
the American way of life...Copy !req
408. in a post-nuclear world is upon you.Copy !req
409. Not only controls flyaways,
but it looks and smells—Copy !req
410. One or two
smooth, even strokes...Copy !req
411. each day will mitigate the odours caused...Copy !req
412. by micro-organisms
which feed upon the sebum...Copy !req
413. You have got be kidding me.Copy !req
414. Difficult for me to discuss...Copy !req
415. but as you get older,
you may experience certain...Copy !req
416. urges...Copy !req
417. OK, show's over!Copy !req
418. I don't go rifling through
your old home movies, do I?Copy !req
419. He— he tuned father out?Copy !req
420. Yes, I killed your god.Copy !req
421. Ooooh!Copy !req
422. Now I will take his place.Copy !req
423. And new dad says
it's time to get me the hell out of here!Copy !req
424. Contamination!Copy !req
425. OK, OK.Copy !req
426. I think I've got something.Copy !req
427. Maybe it's all... just a dream?Copy !req
428. Orpheus, you're the one
who dragged us into this b.s.Copy !req
429. So how do you want to go out—Copy !req
430. sitting in a peep booth
waiting for some Atari bitch to tell you...Copy !req
431. "game over," or do you want to
finish what you started?Copy !req
432. What do you mean?Copy !req
433. I mean we already know
where they're at, so let's go get 'em.Copy !req
434. Yes!Copy !req
435. Let's!Copy !req
436. Yeah, yeah, player 3 buying in.Copy !req
437. The order of the Triad, go!Copy !req
438. Awaiting connection with Ven-tech system.Copy !req
439. Where is Dr. Venture?Copy !req
440. Should I be as freaked out as I am?Copy !req
441. Why is it doing this?Copy !req
442. You know, she and Jonas
had a bit of a falling out...Copy !req
443. over parenting issues.Copy !req
444. Jonas thought the survivors
of a nuclear holocaust...Copy !req
445. might be too distraught to function...Copy !req
446. as a society underground,
so he wanted to pump small amounts...Copy !req
447. of mood-enhancing drugs
into the ventilation system.Copy !req
448. And M.U.T.H.E.R.,
this bitch— she didn't approve.Copy !req
449. - What'd she do?
- Eh, you know...Copy !req
450. when your parents catch you smoking...Copy !req
451. and they make you
smoke the whole freakin' pack...Copy !req
452. as punishment?Copy !req
453. That's right.
A veritable subterranean utopia!Copy !req
454. Why, we even have our own concert hall...Copy !req
455. with a 90-piece classical orchestra.Copy !req
456. Yes sir, ol' Jonas
thought of just about every...Copy !req
457. Everything.Copy !req
458. I'm gonna be sick.Copy !req
459. Ow! Ow! Get off!Copy !req
460. Aah! I can't— aah! Gah!Copy !req
461. Make it stop! Aah!Copy !req
462. Aah!Copy !req
463. We've got to get out of here!Copy !req
464. We've got to get the hell out of here!Copy !req
465. Blood everywhere!Copy !req
466. It's horrible!Copy !req
467. M.U.T.H.E.R.'s slipped us a mickey.Copy !req
468. Rally, team Venture,
before she traps us forever!Copy !req
469. I should cast a spell of protection
over the vehicle before we embark.Copy !req
470. Unh-unh. No magic.Copy !req
471. You know what
happened to me last time.Copy !req
472. I'll be damned if I'm walkin'
out of here in Aquaman underoos.Copy !req
473. You sure you can drive this thing?Copy !req
474. Oh, yeah.
I was a tank commander in the marines.Copy !req
475. I didn't know
you served in the armed forces.Copy !req
476. Boy, the stuff you don't know
about me could fill one big-ass book.Copy !req
477. Maybe next time you'll think
twice about leaving me behind...Copy !req
478. when you go visit your precious master.Copy !req
479. Ohh!Copy !req
480. Uh, I c—Copy !req
481. Did you know I also
raise carrier pigeons on my roof?Copy !req
482. No.Copy !req
483. W.O.M.B. breach.Copy !req
484. System connection established.Copy !req
485. Initiate launch—
full nuclear commitment.Copy !req
486. Quickly, Mr. Samson!Copy !req
487. We haven't a moment to—Copy !req
488. Ooh, did you sculpt him yourself?Copy !req
489. Back, all of you, or so help me!Copy !req
490. No! Give us back the word!Copy !req
491. Oh, you want this?Copy !req
492. I've got like a million of them upstairs.Copy !req
493. If you'd played nice,
I would have shared, but n-o-o-o-o!Copy !req
494. Yes, father...Copy !req
495. Make us clean again!Copy !req
496. There's pop! I-I see him!Copy !req
497. We did it, Mr. White!Copy !req
498. We saved pop!Copy !req
499. Go, team Venture!Copy !req
500. Wonderful.Copy !req
501. That's one for us,
5 billion for the apocalypse.Copy !req
502. I can't help but think that Rusty
would've wanted it that way.Copy !req
503. Aw, sh—Copy !req
504. They'd been using it as a bathroom.Copy !req
505. If they sent all their waste into the sky...Copy !req
506. "father" would "make it clean."Copy !req
507. Lunatics.Copy !req
508. So, who were all those crazies?Copy !req
509. Honorary gold members of
the Rusty Venture fan club—Copy !req
510. which explains why
they had the canny survival skills...Copy !req
511. to live down there for so long.Copy !req
512. Yeah, one bright day back in 1978...Copy !req
513. my father thought
the kids from the local orphanage...Copy !req
514. needed cheering up,
so he took them on a little field trip...Copy !req
515. to see his brand-new,
state-of-the-art fallout shelter.Copy !req
516. And their only contact
with the outside world...Copy !req
517. for like 30 years
was an old scopitone of your dad?Copy !req
518. Not entirely. Somehow they were
able to get VH1 classics on that thing, too.Copy !req
519. I don't know.
Cable wires got crossed somewhere.Copy !req
520. - So, what about M.U.T.H.E.R.?
- Where is Dr. Venture?Copy !req
521. Don't worry. I found him.Copy !req
522. He's right here.Copy !req
523. And, uh, he wants to talk to you, too.Copy !req
524. Oh, hello, Rusty!Copy !req
525. No, Dr. Venture, it's M.U.T.H.E.R.Copy !req
526. You're looking well.Copy !req
527. Enjoying your new life below ground?Copy !req
528. No, Dr. Venture.Copy !req
529. We have much to talk about.Copy !req
530. Ha ha! Good.Copy !req
531. Because today
I'd like to talk to you about...Copy !req
532. personal hygiene!Copy !req
533. Oh. OK.Copy !req