1. DINNER
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2. MAYDAY!
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3. MAYDAY!
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4. WE HAVE BROKEN ORBIT!
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5. "GARGANTUA 1" HAS BROKEN
ORBIT!
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6. WE'VE LOST STABILIZERS!
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7. RETROROCKETS ARE OFFLINE
AND ALL FAIL SAFES HAVE, WELL,
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8. FAILED!
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9. HOUSTON, DO YOU COPY?
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10. WE'RE DONE FOR, ANNA.
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11. MAKE PEACE WITH YOUR HIGHER
POWER.
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12. THERE IS ONE THING WE COULD
TRY.
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13. ANNA!
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14. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
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15. RESTRAIN YOURSELF!
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16. LOOK AT THAT.
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17. CLAMORING FOR A PIECE OF THAT
BIG PHONY.
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18. THAT SHOULD BE ME UP THERE.
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19. REALLY?
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20. WHY IS THAT EXACTLY?
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21. IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE A
JOKE?
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22. WHOSE SPACE STATION JUST SAVED
THE WORLD, MANSTRONG'S?
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23. NO, MINE.
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24. HE WAS JUST ALONG FOR THE RIDE.
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25. THEY MIGHT AS WELL GIVE A MEDAL
TO THE SEATS WHILE THEY'RE
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26. PINNING ONE ON LUCK ROGERS OVER
THERE.
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27. LUCK ROGERS?
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28. HA HA.
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29. YOU LIKE THAT.
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30. I ALMOST SAID FLASH "IN THE PAN"
GORDON.
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31. GLAD YOU DIDN'T.
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32. NO PICTURES, SON.
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33. HEY!
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34. AW, GYP!
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35. HEY, HEY!
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36. YEAH.
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37. JOIN THE BUSH CLUB.
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38. SAMPSON.
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39. HOUSER.
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40. SAMPSON.
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41. HOUSER.
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42. SAMPSON...
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43. WHAT'S THE MATTER,
COULDN'T HACK FIELD WORK ANY
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44. MORE, SO THEY MADE YOU WHITE
HOUSE HALL MONITOR?
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45. YOU LISTEN TO ME, AND YOU
LISTEN TO ME GREAT, SAMPSON.
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46. YOU MAY BE A WEST SIDE,
BUT HERE AT THE WHITE HOUSE,
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47. YOU'RE JUST ANOTHER CIVILIAN.
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48. AND I GOT MY EYES ON YOU.
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49. BOTH OF YOU.
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50. UH.
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51. FRIEND OF YOURS?
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52. WE WERE IN NAM TOGETHER.
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53. OH.
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54. WAIT.
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55. YOU WERE, LIKE, 10 DURING
VIETNAM.
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56. OH, I DIDN'T SAY DURING
THE WAR.
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57. THERE I WAS GRAPPLING WITH
THE CONTROLS OF THE PROUD AND
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58. MIGHTY GRAND DAME OF THE STARS
AS SHE BURNED UP ON REENTRY.
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59. OH, LET HIM HAVE HIS MOMENT.
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60. I'LL HAVE MY TURN AS SOON AS THE
PRESIDENT GETS A LOAD OF A
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61. CERTAIN LITTLE SOMETHING
SOMETHING I JUST HAPPENED TO
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62. BRING ALONG.
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63. OH, TELL ME YOU DIDN'T BRING
THAT THING WITH YOU.
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64. UCCH!
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65. DO YOU HATE THESE THINGS AS MUCH
AS I DO?
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66. BUNCH OF BACK-PATTING PHONIES.
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67. AT LEAST THE WINE IS DECENT.
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68. KEEP IT COMING, HONEY.
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69. AND THE NEXT THING I KNEW, I
WAS WAKING UP IN AN ARMY
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70. HOSPITAL IN IRANISTAN.
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71. REALLY?
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72. AND THAT'S ALL YOU REMEMBER
ABOUT THE WHOLE DARNED THING?
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73. UNFORTUNATELY, YES.
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74. HA.
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75. I SUPPOSE IT WAS THAT NASTY BUMP
ON THE HEAD I TOOK IN THE CRASH.
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76. MANSTRONG?
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77. COLONEL BUD MANSTRONG, CAN YOU
HEAR ME?
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78. HE'S COMING OUT OF IT.
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79. THE PROCEDURE WAS A SUCCESS.
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80. WHAT ABOUT THE CHIP?
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81. IT'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
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82. HEY!
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83. WHO'S YOUR FRIEND OVER HERE?
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84. THAT'S BROCK SAMPSON.
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85. BUT HE IS NO FRIEND OF MINE.
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86. TOO BAD.
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87. REMEMBER WHEN I CALLED TO
TELL YOU I'D BEEN ACCOSTED ON
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88. "GARGANTUA 1"?
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89. OF COURSE I DO.
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90. OH, THE TEARS.
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91. THE SNIFFLING.
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92. YES, WELL...
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93. HE'S THE FELLOW WHO DID IT.
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94. HIM?
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95. SO, WHY'D YOU BEAT MY LITTLE BOY
UP AND STEAL HIS GIRLFRIEND,
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96. BLONDIE?
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97. OH, MOTHER.
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98. DON'T SAY TOO MUCH, DO YOU.
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99. WELL, THAT'S OK.
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100. I LIKE THE STRONG AND SILENT
TYPES.
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101. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, A TOAST
TO COLONEL BUD MANSTRONG—
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102. A MAN OF BRAVERY, INTEGRITY,
AND INDOMITABLE SPIRIT—
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103. OH, QUIT BLOWING SMOKE UP THE
BOY'S ASS, BREYER.
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104. WE ALL KNOW THE REAL REASON
YOUR
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105. ADMINISTRATION'S IN THE CRAPPER,
AND YOU NEED MRS. MANSTRONG'S
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106. LITTLE BOY SCOUT ON THE TEAM TO
POLISH THAT TURD.
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107. UH...
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108. HA.
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109. TO BUD.
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110. WHOOPSIE.
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111. MOTHER!
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112. YOU CAN'T TALK TO THE PRESIDENT
LIKE THAT.
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113. WELL, I DIDN'T VOTE FOR HIM.
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114. LISTEN, YOU JUST KEEP SMILING
AND LET YOUR MOTHER DEAL WITH
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115. THE POLITICS.
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116. HE'S EMBARRASSED BY HIS MOTHER.
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117. I BREAST-FED THIS ONE TILL HE
LOST HIS BABY TEETH, AND HE'S
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118. EMBARRASSED BY ME?
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119. OH, MOTHER!
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120. PRUDISH.
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121. TAKES AFTER HIS FATHER, THE LATE
SENATOR, GOD REST HIS SOUL.
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122. MAN COULDN'T FIND A G-SPOT
WITHOUT A SENATE SUBCOMMITTEE.
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123. OH, MOTHER!
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124. SAY, BUD—
OR IS IT BUDLY?
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125. BUDWARD?
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126. WHAT'S BUD SHORT FOR?
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127. NOTHING.
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128. IT'S JUST BUD.
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129. YEAH?
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130. OH.
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131. SEEING AS HOW YOU'RE ALL TIGHT
WITH THE BIG GUY—BECAUSE YOU
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132. BROKE MY SPACE STATION—I WAS
WONDERING IF MAYBE YOU MIGHT PUT
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133. IN A GOOD WORD FOR ME—
WHY DON'T YOU STOP BOTHERING
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134. MY SON, YOU AWFUL LITTLE NOBODY!
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135. VULTURES, BUDDY.
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136. EVERYONE'S GONNA WANT A PIECE OF
YOU NOW, BUT YOU DON'T GIVE 'EM
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137. A THING.
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138. ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?
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139. YES, MOTHER.
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140. COLONEL BUD MANSTRONG,
LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER.
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141. YES, MOTHER.
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142. SO, THEN THE TEACHER SAID,
"JOHNNY DEEPER!"
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143. AND SO HE'S STICKS IT IN DEEPER.
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144. WHAT?
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145. SERIOUSLY, LADY!
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146. KNOCK IT OFF!
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147. I'M NOT INTO IT!
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148. SMOOTH.
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149. WELL...
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150. PERHAPS WE SHOULD CALL IT A
NIGHT, EH, FOLKS?
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151. THANK Y'ALL FOR COMING,
AND PLEASE, LET'S...
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152. LET'S HAVE ANOTHER ROUND OF
APPLAUSE FOR THE GOOD COLONEL.
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153. COME ON.
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154. HANDS TOGETHER.
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155. YOU, TOO.
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156. UH, BUD,
WHY DON'T YOU COME SEE ME
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157. PRIVATELY IN THE OVAL OFFICE.
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158. TSK, TSK.
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159. YOU BOYS BETTER COME WITH ME.
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160. BUT...
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161. JOHNNY DEEPER!
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162. I'M TERRIBLY SORRY, SIR.
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163. MOTHER IS...
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164. HEADSTRONG.
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165. SHE SPEAKS HER MIND AND ONE HAS
NO CHOICE BUT TO LISTEN.
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166. OH, NOW DON'T YOU SWEAT IT,
COLONEL HANGDOG.
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167. YOUR MOTHER'S RIGHT.
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168. MY ADMINISTRATION'S UP TO ITS
ASS IN SCANDAL.
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169. HELL, MY V.P. IS UNDER
INDICTMENT.
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170. ANYWAYS, I'M UP FOR REELECTION
IN NOVEMBER.
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171. AND I DON'T HAVE A CHINAMAN'S
CHANCE UNLESS I FIND ME A
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172. SQUEAKY-CLEAN RUNNING MATE.
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173. GOOD LUCK IN THIS TOWN THOUGH.
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174. CIGAR?
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175. WELL...
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176. I DON'T USUALLY PARTAKE, BUT,
SHUCKS!
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177. I'M NOT IN AN OXYGEN-RICH
ENVIRONMENT ANYMORE!
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178. AND HOW CAN ONE DECLINE AN OFFER
FROM THE PRESIDENT OF THESE
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179. UNITED STATES?
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180. OH, WAIT.
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181. NOT THAT ONE.
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182. I'M GLAD YOU FEEL THAT WAY, BUD,
'CAUSE I'VE GOT A PROPOSITION
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183. FOR YOU.
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184. HOW'D YOU LIKE TO BE VICE
PRESIDENT?
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185. ME?
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186. HELL, YEAH, YOU!
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187. WHO'D YOU THINK I'M TALKING
ABOUT?
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188. YOU'RE A GENUINE HERO, BOY.
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189. THE BUREAU CAN'T FIND A DAMN
THING ON YOU.
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190. AND, PLUS, YOU'RE A LITTLE BIT
OF THE EYE CANDY FOR THE LADIES.
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191. SPEAKING OF WHICH...
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192. TAKE YOUR PICK.
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193. I'M NOT SURE I FOLLOW YOU,
SIR.
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194. ANY OF MY SECRETARIAL STAFF—
EXCEPT THE ONE ON THE BLUE DRESS
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195. THAT SMELLS LIKE THIS.
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196. OH, DEAR LORD!
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197. HA HA!
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198. THAT PHYLLIS' GOT MY NAME
WRITTEN ALL OVER HER!
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199. HA HA HA.
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200. LITERALLY!
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201. I ONCE WROTE MY NAME ON THE
FRONT OF MY DRESS WITH THE TIP
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202. OF MY—
OH, NO!
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203. I'M NOT HEARING THIS!
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204. I'M NOT HEARING THIS!
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205. GOOD EVENING, SIR!
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206. UH, CASS?
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207. I'LL TAKE THAT BLOWJOB NOW.
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208. NOW, YOU BOYS GET YOURSELVES
TO SLEEP, AND DON'T YOU WORRY
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209. ABOUT A THING.
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210. I'M JUST GONNA GET SOME CLUB
SODA ON THESE HERE STAINS BEFORE
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211. THEY SET.
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212. ALL YOUR TROUBLES BE OVER.
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213. I DON'T THINK CLUB SODA CAN
FIX MY PROBLEM.
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214. HA HA.
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215. CHILD.
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216. LITTLE CLUB SODA GET OUT MOST
ANYTHING.
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217. WAIT!
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218. DON'T LEAVE!
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219. DUDE, WHAT IS YOUR DAMAGE?
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220. I—I SAW SOMETHING.
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221. I THINK THIS PLACE IS...
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222. HAUNTED.
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223. OH, YOU'RE JUST BEING
SUPERSTITIOUS.
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224. I AM NOT!
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225. JUST EXTRASTITIOUS.
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226. THERE'S SOMETHING WIGGY GOING
ON.
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227. I CAN FEEL IT.
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228. IT'S LIKE—LIKE WE'RE BEING
WATCHED.
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229. YEAH, WELL, DUH.
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230. LINCOLN BEDROOM IS SECURE.
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231. OVER.
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232. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!
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233. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!
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234. SLOW DOWN, BUDDY.
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235. TELL MAMA WHAT HAPPENED.
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236. IT WAS HORRIBLE, MOTHER.
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237. THAT DROOLING FOUL-MOUTH PERVERT
OF A MAN—AND CRUDE!
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238. HE SAID THE MOST DISGRACEFUL,
RIBALDROUS THINGS.
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239. YEAH, YEAH.
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240. DID HE OFFER YOU VICE PRESIDENT?
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241. HE DID.
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242. AND I TOLD HIM HE COULD JUST
TAKE THAT JOB AND HE COULD—
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243. HE COULD STICK—HE COULD TAKE IT
AND HE COULD STICK THE JOB IN—
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244. AND I RAN AWAY!
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245. THEN GET BACK IN THERE AND
TELL HIM YOU CHANGED YOUR MIND.
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246. YOU WANT ME TO COME WITH YOU AND
SHOW YOU HOW—
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247. LIKE WHEN MAMA HELD YOUR PEE-PEE
AND TAUGHT YOU HOW TO MAKE YOUR
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248. SISSIES?
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249. BUT, MOTHER,
YOU SAID NOT TO GIVE ANYONE
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250. ANYTHING.
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251. WITHOUT GETTING SOMETHING IN
RETURN, BUDDY.
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252. YOU GOTTA MAKE HIM PAY, BUDDY.
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253. BUT I DON'T WANT—
COLONEL BUD MANSTRONG,
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254. LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER.
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255. YOU WILL GO BACK IN THERE
AND TAKE THIS JOB BECAUSE IT
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256. WILL PUT YOU NEXT TO THE MOST
POWERFUL MAN IN THE WORLD.
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257. NOW, BE A MAN AND DO WHAT HAS
TO BE DONE.
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258. OH, COME ON, BROCK.
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259. JUST BUY ME 5 MINUTES.
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260. I'VE BEEN PRACTICING MY PITCH
ALL WEEK.
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261. AAGH!
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262. YOU JUST HAVE NO CLUE, DO YOU?
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263. THESE AREN'T A BUNCH OF FAKE
PIRATES OR DINKS IN RUBBER
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264. BUTTERFLY SUITS, DOC.
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265. WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THAT UNITED
STATES SECRET SERVICE.
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266. PLEASE.
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267. WE'LL BOTH BE OFF THE HOOK WHEN
HE FEASTS HIS EYES ON WHAT I'VE
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268. GOT TO OFFER.
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269. THIS THING SELLS ITSELF.
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270. IF IT DOESN'T, I CAN'T AFFORD TO
PAY YOU THIS MONTH.
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271. YOU DON'T PAY ME.
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272. WHY DO YOU KEEP LOOKING
AROUND?
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273. YOU'RE REALLY AFRAID OF THAT
HAUSER GUY, AREN'T YOU?
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274. NO.
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275. MANSTRONG'S MOM.
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276. SHE'S GOT A FEW DRINKS IN HER,
AND SHE TRIED TO FREE NELSON
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277. MANDELA UNDER THE TABLE.
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278. UGH!
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279. SAY...
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280. OK, PLAN B.
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281. YOU THROW THE OLD BROAD A MERCY
LAY, AND IN EXCHANGE SHE
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282. SWEET-TALKS THE PRESIDENT FOR
ME.
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283. NICE SCENE YOU MADE AT
DINNER, SAMPSON.
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284. DON'T EVER EMBARRASS THE
PRESIDENT LIKE THAT AGAIN.
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285. I DON'T THINK THE AGENCY COULD
POSSIBLY DEMOTE YOU ANY LOWER
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286. THAN THEY ALREADY HAVE.
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287. BUT I HEAR THERE'S AN OPENING IN
THE MAIL ROOM...
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288. HELSINKI BRANCH.
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289. HA HA HA.
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290. I GOTTA TAKE—
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291. I GOT A CALL.
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292. I GOTTA TAKE THIS.
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293. YOU KNOW WHAT, DOC?
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294. YOU'RE ON.
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295. REALLY?
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296. PLAN A OR PLAN B?
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297. VENTURE BROTHERS!
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298. YOU MUST HELP ME!
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299. COLONEL MANSTRONG IS GOING TO
ASSASSINATE THE PRESIDENT!
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300. HANK, WAKE UP!
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301. IT'S THE GHOST OF ABRAHAM
LINCOLN!
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302. WHO?
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303. MR. PRESIDENT,
MY BOY HAD A LITTLE CRISIS OF
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304. CONSCIENCE EARLIER.
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305. YOU—YOU—YOU, BUT...
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306. WELL...
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307. JUST DO IT, BUDDY.
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308. MR. PRESIDENT...
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309. OH, MY GOD!
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310. OH, HELLO, DR. VENTURE.
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311. MR. PRESIDENT, IF I COULD
JUST HAVE A MOMENT OF YOUR
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312. VALUABLE TIME, I HAVE SOMETHING
AMAZING TO SHOW YOU!
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313. SECURITY BREECH!
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314. SECURITY BREECH!
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315. DAMN IT!
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316. HAUSER, WHERE ARE YOU?
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317. WHOO!
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318. THANK GOD!
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319. ARREST THIS MA—
HEY, YOU'RE NOT MY GUY.
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320. GOT ABOUT A MINUTE, DOC.
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321. MAKE IT COUNT.
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322. HEAR ME OUT, YOUR EXCELLENCY.
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323. IF YOU'RE ANYTHING LIKE ME,
THEN YOU'RE SUPER CONCERNED
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324. ABOUT SECURITY.
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325. BECAUSE IN THESE UNCERTAIN
TIMES, WHAT COULD BE MORE
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326. IMPORTANT THAN THE SAFETY OF
YOUR FAMILY, YOUR HOME, YOUR
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327. COUNTRY, AND YOUR TROOPS ON THE
BATTLEFIELD.
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328. HEY, DOWN IN FRONT, STICK!
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329. WE WERE TALKING HERE!
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330. ALLOW ME TO FORMALLY MAKE
YOUR ACQUAINTANCE WITH THE
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331. VENTURE DOME, THE WORLD'S FIRST
FULLY PORTABLE BATTERY-POWERED
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332. INVISIBLE FORCE FIELD.
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333. GUN!
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334. A MICROCHIP!
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335. MICROCHIP!
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336. IT'S IN THE BACK OF HIS HEAD.
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337. HIS MOTHER IS USING IT TO
CONTROL HIM, AND SHE'S GOING TO
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338. MAKE HIM ASSASSINATE THE
PRESIDENT.
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339. UH...
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340. IT JUST SOUNDS A LITTLE
FAR-FETCHED.
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341. YEAH.
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342. THANK YOU.
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343. I'M GLAD YOU SAID IT.
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344. WHAT—I—
DIDN'T EITHER OF YOU SEE
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345. "THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE"?
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346. NOT EVEN THE REMAKE WITH DENZEL?
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347. COME ON.
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348. I'VE BEEN DEAD FOR 7 SCORE YEARS
AND EVEN—
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349. WHO IS THIS GUY?
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350. ABRAHAM LINCOLN!
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351. 16th PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED
STATES!
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352. COME ON!
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353. YOU'RE KIDDING ME!
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354. YEAH, DIDN'T YOU LEARN
ANYTHING IN BED?
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355. ALL RIGHT.
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356. ALL RIGHT, HOW ABOUT THIS?
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357. I'M THE $5.00 BILL GUY.
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358. YOU INVENTED THE $5.00 BILL?
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359. YES, HANK.
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360. YES, I DID.
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361. DEAN, YOU SEEM A LITTLE MORE ON
THE BALL HERE.
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362. HELP ME STOP MANSTRONG.
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363. WHY DO YOU NEED US?
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364. BECAUSE I'M IMMATERIAL.
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365. LOOK AT THIS.
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366. IT'S A NO-GO.
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367. NEED TO POSSESS ONE OF YOUR
BODIES—JUST FOR A LITTLE
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368. WHILE—TILL I CAN STOP HIM.
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369. WILL ONE OF YOU DO THAT FOR ME?
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370. FOR THE UNION?
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371. NOT IT!
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372. ONE, TWO, 3, 4, 5, 6,
7, 8, 9, 10.
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373. JINX!
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374. YOU OWE ME A COKE!
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375. OH!
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376. YOU ARE IN FOR A WORLD OF
SUCK, MISTER.
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377. WHY ARE YOU MEN LOLLY-GAGGING?
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378. LOCK THIS JACKASS UP.
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379. THEY CAN'T HEAR YOU.
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380. SOUND-PROOF.
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381. WHAT THE SAM-CRAZY...
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382. IT'S A FORCE FIELD—
OF MY OWN DESIGN.
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383. ALL RIGHT, TURN IT OFF, SMART
FACE.
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384. YOU SMASHED THE REMOTE.
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385. WELL, UNPLUG IT
THEN—WHATEVER.
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386. WHAT AM I, AN AMATEUR?
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387. IT'S BATTERY-POWERED.
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388. EXCELLENT FOR ARMIES IN THE
FIELD.
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389. ALL IN A PACKAGE THIS SMALL?
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390. STAND BACK, SIR.
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391. UH, I WOULDN'T DO THAT.
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392. THEY'RE NUCLEAR BATTERIES.
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393. NUCULAR?
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394. WELL, THAT'S NOT ACTUALLY A
WORD, BUT, YES.
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395. ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE, WE GOT A
SITUATION HERE.
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396. I'M GONNA NEED TROOPS.
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397. NOT GONNA WORK EITHER.
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398. JAMS RADIOS, PHONES, INTERCOMS—
ONLY ON THE DELUXE MODEL, OF
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399. COURSE.
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400. SO, HOW THE HELL ARE WE
SUPPOSED TO GET OUT OF HERE?
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401. WELL, IT'LL RUN OUT OF JUICE
ON IT'S OWN IN ABOUT, OH...
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402. WHAT'S THE HALF-LIFE ON COBALT
AGAIN?
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403. 5.24 YEARS.
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404. 5.24 YEARS...
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405. GIVE OR TAKE.
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406. YES, YES.
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407. OF COURSE, GENERAL.
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408. YOU CAN COUNT ON ME.
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409. SORRY, HON.
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410. GOTTA WORK TONIGHT.
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411. NATIONAL EMERGENCY.
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412. LITTLE MAN NEED NED HELP?
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413. NED PROTECT LITTLE MAN.
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414. NO, NO, NED.
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415. THANK YOU.
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416. I WON'T BE IN ANY DANGER.
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417. NED LOVE LITTLE MAN!
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418. OK!
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419. A LITTLE TOO TIGHT, NED!
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420. UH-OH, UH-OH!
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421. NED GIVE LITTLE MAN THE BRAIN
VEIN.
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422. OH, IT'S OK, NED.
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423. YOU READY, CAPTAIN?
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424. GASSED UP AND ON THE RUNWAY,
CHAIRMAN.
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425. DON'T WAIT UP, HON.
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426. MMM!
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427. EW!
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428. DUDE!
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429. WHAT THE DILLY?
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430. DID IT WORK?
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431. WHAT HAPPENED?
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432. HONEST ABE'S A MO,
THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED!
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433. SORRY!
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434. SORRY!
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435. OH, WHAT CAME OVER ME?
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436. I WAS JUST A BIT OVERWHELMED IN
A BODY AGAIN.
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437. ALL THOSE HORMONES!
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438. WHOO!
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439. JUST—ALL RIGHT.
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440. JUST LET ME TRY THIS AGAIN.
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441. I'M READY FOR IT THIS TIME.
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442. WHO'S TRIANA, BY THE WAY?
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443. AAGH!
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444. JUST GET IN.
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445. AND NO FUNNY BUSINESS.
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446. YES, ALREADY.
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447. LIKE YOU BOYS NEVER
EXPERIMENTED.
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448. DEAN!
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449. THERE.
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450. YOU'RE SAFE NOW, SIR.
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451. I'VE SECURED A PERIMETER.
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452. THAT'S GREAT, HAUSER.
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453. YOU HEAR THAT, PEOPLE.
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454. NOBODY CROSSES THIS LINE.
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455. OH, YOU THINK YOU COULD MAYBE
NOT SMOKE IN HERE?
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456. FINE.
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457. THANK YOU.
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458. OH.
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459. AW.
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460. IT'S STILL GOING.
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461. OH, NOW THE OTHER ONE'S CAUGHT.
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462. NICE ONE.
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463. EVERYTHING YOU TOUCH TURNS TO
SUCK.
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464. IT'S OFFICIAL.
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465. OH, NO!
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466. THEY CALLED MY BROTHER?
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467. COULD THIS BE ANY MORE
EMBARRASSING?
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468. YEAH, ALL RIGHT, HI.
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469. I SEE YOU.
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470. GO TO HELL.
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471. WELL, DOC, CAN YOU BREAK IT
DOWN OR WHAT?
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472. WELL, I COULD TRY
TO GENERATE AN ARTIFICIAL
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473. EINSTEIN-ROSEN BRIDGE, BUT I
CAN'T GUARANTEE WE WOULDN'T BE
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474. SUCKED INTO ANOTHER DIMENSION.
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475. WELL!
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476. HEY, THERE, NEPHEW!
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477. WHAT ARE YOU—
DOING?
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478. THAT LITTLE BASTARD.
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479. HOW'D HE DO THAT?
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480. GOTTA GO.
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481. WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO
THERE, DEAN?
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482. WE'RE HELPING OUR NEW GHOST
PAL.
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483. WELL, AIN'T THAT SOMETHING.
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484. I WISH MY BOY HAD THAT KIND OF
CREATIVITY.
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485. COLONEL MANSTRONG'S GOING TO
ASSASSINATE THE PRESIDENT.
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486. IT'S NOT REALLY HIS FAULT
THOUGH.
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487. HIS MOM'S CONTROLLING HIM.
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488. DON'T GIVE ME THAT
PSYCHO-BABBLE, SON.
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489. AFTER A CERTAIN AGE, A MAN NEEDS
TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR HIS
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490. OWN ACTIONS.
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491. UM, OK.
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492. SURE.
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493. MAYBE IF I HAD HUGGED MY
THICK-HEADED SON MORE, HE
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494. WOULDN'T HAVE STARTED THEM FIRES
OR STOLEN ALL THAT LACROSSE
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495. EQUIPMENT, BUT, DAMN IT,
SOMETIMES THEY'RE JUST BAD
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496. APPLES.
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497. DAMNATION!
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498. FORCE FIELD.
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499. I DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE COMING.
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500. SORRY, DEAN.
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501. OK, OK.
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502. NEW PLAN.
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503. WELL, YOU JUST K.O. ed
UNCLE SAM.
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504. WHY CAN'T YOU JUST DO THAT TO AN
ASTRONAUT AND HIS MOM?
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505. THAT'S NOT UNCLE SAM,
IT'S ME!
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506. COULDN'T LAY A GLOVE ON IT IF IT
WEREN'T.
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507. I CAN ONLY MOVE THINGS IN THE
MATERIAL WORLD THAT BEAR MY
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508. IMAGE.
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509. WAIT!
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510. THAT PENNY IN YOUR POCKET, DEAN.
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511. I WAS ABLE TO GET THAT THROUGH
THE FORCE FIELD.
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512. THAT'S IT.
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513. WE BUILD A GUN MADE OUT OF
PENNIES!
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514. EXACTLY!
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515. WAIT, NO!
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516. THAT'S INSANE.
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517. BUT I HAVE ANOTHER IDEA.
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518. BOYS, I NEED $5.00 BILLS—
SCORES OF THEM!
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519. 10 SCORE AT LEAST.
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520. HOW ARE WE GONNA FIND THAT
MANY?
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521. HOW, HOW?
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522. WHAT ARE YOU, AN OWL?
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523. HE CAN MAKE THEM WITH HIS MAGIC.
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524. FOR THE LAST TIME, HANK,
I'M A GHOST, NOT A GENIE.
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525. YOU TWO MUST FIND A WAY!
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526. WAIT!
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527. DOES IT MATTER IF IT'S THE NEW
FIVES OR THE OLD ONES?
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528. I PREFER THE NEW ONES.
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529. BUT WHATEVER!
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530. GO, GO!
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531. SCORE.
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532. THANK YOU, AMBASSADOR MBATU.
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533. WELL...
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534. I PROMISED MY WIFE AND JESUS
I WOULDN'T ANYMORE.
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535. BUT THINGS BEING AS THEY ARE,
WELL...
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536. THANK YOU, NO, SIR.
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537. I'M ON DUTY.
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538. HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY!
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539. PERIMETER!
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540. DO SOMETHING.
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541. AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT
CARES ABOUT—
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542. AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT CARES
ABOUT PERIMETERS?
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543. 'CAUSE I'M STARTING TO THINK I
AM, AND I DON'T—
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544. AND I DON'T LIKE IT.
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545. MOTHER'S HAD...
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546. A BIT TOO MUCH ALREADY.
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547. HOW ABOUT YOU?
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548. I DON'T DRINK.
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549. I'M SORRY.
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550. HMM.
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551. FOR WHAT?
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552. LIEUTENANT BALDAVICH.
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553. I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS YOUR
GIRLFRIEND.
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554. THAT WASN'T COOL.
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555. MR. SAMPSON...
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556. "GARGANTUA 1" WAS AN ORBITING
METAL EDEN UNTIL YOU SULLIED IT
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557. WITH YOUR BRANDO-ESQUE
SENSUALITY AND YOUR
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558. NON-REGULATION APPAREL.
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559. SORRY DOESN'T QUITE MAKE UP FOR
DEFLOWERING MY EVE.
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560. COME ON.
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561. ENOUGH WITH THE BOY SCOUT ACT.
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562. YOU TWO WERE ALONE ON THAT THING
FOR YEARS.
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563. NOW, DON'T TELL ME
YOU NEVER HIT THAT.
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564. WHAT?
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565. I NEVER STRUCK HER!
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566. HOW DARE YOU EVEN IMPLY THAT
I DID!
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567. I LOVED HER!
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568. THIS AIN'T GOOD.
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569. OH, F.D.R.
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570. NOW, HE WAS A REAL PRESIDENT.
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571. I LOVED TO WATCH HIM SLEEP.
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572. WEIGHT OF THE WORLD ON HIS
LITTLE POLIO SHOULDERS.
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573. THE DEPRESSION.
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574. WORLD WAR II.
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575. HE SLEPT LIKE A BABY.
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576. NOW, THAT IS A CLEAR CONSCIENCE.
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577. THIS BREYER GUY THOUGH,
HE'S THE WORST PRESIDENT I'VE
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578. EVER SEEN.
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579. THEN WHY AM I WASTING MY TIME
WITH THIS?
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580. HONESTLY?
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581. I'M KIND OF HOPING TO EARN MY
WINGS ON THIS DEAL.
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582. SO, WE'RE NOT JUST SAVING THE
PRESIDENT...
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583. WE'RE SAVING YOU, TOO.
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584. MY LINCOLN SENSE IS TINGLING!
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585. MANSTRONG'S MAKING HIS MOVE!
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586. HURRY, BOYS!
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587. SVENGALI!
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588. NO, NO!
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589. LOOK, THIS IS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS
LIKE.
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590. FIRST ANNA, NOW MY MOTHER!
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591. HAVE YOU NO SHAME, YOU—
YOU MANDINGO!
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592. OK, GET UP!
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593. WE'RE DOING THIS!
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594. YOU AND ME, SAMPSON,
RIGHT NOW!
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595. LET'S GO!
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596. COME ON, MAN.
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597. YOU KNOW I'M JUST GONNA BEAT YOU
STUPID.
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598. I'VE DONE IT BEFORE.
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599. WITH A SUCKER PUNCH.
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600. THIS TIME, SCHOOL-YARD RULES—
NO CHEAP SHOTS.
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601. THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
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602. YOU'RE MOTHER JUST—
NO MOTHERS!
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603. AAGH!
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604. OH, WHAT?
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605. HERE COMES THE RAIL SPLITTER!
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606. WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON
NOW?
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607. WHAT?
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608. DID MY BROTHER MAKE THAT?
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609. MR. PRESIDENT, THIS MAN'S AN
ASSASSIN PROGRAMMED TO KILL YOU!
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610. THERE'S A MICROCHIP IN HIS
BRAIN.
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611. LOOK!
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612. PERIMETER, SIR!
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613. PERIMETER!
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614. OH, DAMN IT!
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615. NOT AGAIN!
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616. AAGH!
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617. STOP BOTHERING MY SON!
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618. UH-OH.
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619. DID I GRAZE YOU, NIBBLETS?
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620. YOU DID IT, BOYS.
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621. YOU SAVE THE PRESIDENT.
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622. GO, TEAM VENTURE!
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623. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A
DOCTOR.
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624. IS MY BUDDY GONNA BE OK?
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625. WAIT A MINUTE.
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626. I RECOGNIZE THIS.
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627. IT'S A VENTURE INDUSTRIES
MICROCHIP.
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628. HANG ON A SEC.
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629. IT'S THE MOTHER BOARD FROM
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630. "GARGANTUA 1."
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631. ANNA!
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632. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
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633. RESTRAIN YOURSELF!
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634. IF WE ARE GOING TO DIE,
I WANT TO GO OUT WITH A BANG, AS
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635. THEY SAY.
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636. MMM!
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637. I KNEW IT!
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638. TOLD YOU THIS CLOWN WAS NO HERO.
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639. HE JUST BLACKED OUT IN THE
MIDDLE OF A HAND-JOB.
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640. UH-OH!
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641. SOMEONE'S PLAYING WITH HIS
LINCOLN LOGS.
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642. OH, MY GOD!
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643. IT'S FULL OF STARS!
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644. PENNY FOR HIS THOUGHTS.
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645. [CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
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646. —www.ncicap.org—]
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647. YOU'RE...
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648. STILL HERE.
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649. SHOULDN'T YOU HAVE CROSSED OVER?
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650. APPARENTLY, STOPPING MY BODY
GUARD FROM BEATING UP A
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651. REPRESSED MASTURBATOR JUST ISN'T
ENOUGH TO GET YOU INTO HEAVEN
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652. THESE DAYS.
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653. GO FIGURE.
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654. YOU'RE ONE TO JUDGE,
RUSTY.
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655. I SEEM TO REMEMBER A CERTAIN
FAST-HANDED LITTLE REDHEAD
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656. SLEEPING IN THE LINCOLN BEDROOM
A SCORE AND A HALF YEARS BACK.
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657. ALL RIGHT.
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658. NOT THAT YOU DID MUCH
SLEEPING.
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659. OK.
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660. I...
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661. NEVER WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT.
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662. DON'T KNOW WHY YOU PEOPLE
GOTTA COMPLICATE EVERYTHING.
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663. I TOLD Y'ALL,
A LITTLE CLUB SODA FIX MOST
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664. EVERYTHING.
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665. THAT'S GOOD CHOWDER!
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