The Two Coreys 2x4

1. - I'm starting to remember what I did in the past, which is act.

2. So I'm trying to find a personal assistant right now.

3. Nelle?

4. - Yeah. - Come on up. watch your step.

5. You're the first person in my posse, girl.

6. You're hired.

7. - Do you like to do anything together?

8. - Bowling.

9. You know, I was bowling a lot better until you got here.

10. - I need an assistant.

11. - Jay, what's up, bro?

12. - I've been a Feldman fan my whole life,

13. and he hired me to be his assistant.

14. It should be fun.

15. - The role that you would be looking at is Daryl.

16. - I'm going to say yes, right now.

17. I just got my first job.

18. This is just a great moment in my life.

19. I love Corey Feldman.

20. We'll always have a special something.

21. - We were inseparable.

22. - Movie, movie, movie, movie.

23. - When we're onscreen together, there's no stopping us—

24. "The Lost Boys", "License to Drive"--

25. —what happened to that?

26. Our friendship is broken.

27. - That's your problem, man.

28. - I just don't know if you have the strength

29. to overcome your own demons.

30. I would love nothing more than to say, yeah, we're back.

31. - I hope we become friends again.

32. - You want that back, too.

33. Come on, man— we're two Coreys.

34. DR. What are you most sad about?

35. - I don't know, Doc. DR.- Yes, you do.

36. - I'm not really sad.

37. There's a lot of people I need to really

38. honestly like go, yo, my bad.

39. You know what I'm saying?

40. Like I'm sorry or make amends.

41. So there it is.

42. What do I do?

43. - Well, the first thing you do is you want to make a list.

44. - Well, first off, do you think it's a good idea?

45. - I think it's an essential idea.

46. I think it's an essential idea.

47. Because you are full of "gar-baj,"

48. you are full of toxins. - I know that.

49. DR. And we have to start getting some of these out.

50. And we can't do that until you start facing your life.

51. So you want to make a list and you want to put everyone

52. on the list— I mean rigorously.

53. - I have a long list, Doc.

54. I bet you do.

55. Nelles— Yeah.

56. I don't know what to do.

57. About what?

58. - About saying I'm sorry to everybody.

59. All right, I'm going to make a list of who

60. I feel like I need to make amends to.

61. OK.? - OK.

62. - First of all, Todd Bridges.

63. Alyssa Milano, Winona Ryder, Nicole Eggert.

64. Basically, if you just want to put

65. every one of my ex-girlfriends.

66. All right, all exes.

67. - Who else?

68. Joel Schumacher, Scott— oh, real quick, my brother.

69. I don't know, probably Richard Donner, my cousins.

70. OK, other people I need to apologize to.

71. I can't get in touch with my ex-fiance—

72. I'd like to apologize to her for being high all the time.

73. All right, mom. All right.

74. - That's going to suck.

75. Right.

76. - But remember, can you put near that— dad

77. owes me a apology.

78. And the biggest one— I have a lot more,

79. Nelles —but I think like the biggest

80. person, the biggest hate this.

81. It's going to be Feldman and his wife.

82. This sucks, and I hate to say this,

83. I have to apologize to Susie.

84. I don't have to, but I want to.

85. OK.

86. - Why are you such a bitch, today?

87. - Hey!

88. Watch it, dude!

89. What the?

90. Do not—

91. - That sounds like a good choice. - You know what?

92. Listen, I'm going to invite them over for dinner.

93. - OK.

94. - But Susie, I need to somehow, some way,

95. thoroughly apologize to.

96. - I hear you've

97. Right? She's got a photo shoot?

98. - Well, it's for us.

99. A photographer that's going to take some pictures of her.

100. We need head shots for her, we need bikini shots with her,

101. we need pictures of her.

102. I get it!

103. I want pictures of her.

104. So that's what's being set up.

105. You need more pictures.

106. - I need more pictures?

107. - Nice.

108. That's really nice.

109. - Labeled yours with a star.

110. Susie, I put a heart on yours.

111. - No hard-ons for Susie. Got it.

112. - Nice.

113. It's good.

114. - Ugh, I hate the way I look lately.

115. - Ah.

116. Susie, you're doing great.

117. It's really great.

118. That's nice.

119. Fantastic.

120. Beautiful. There you go.

121. Nice.

122. Look at that— in the? we've got the nice low— the low one

123. here.

124. Nice

125. That's really hot.

126. - Like even if you cropped it, it'll go like back?

127. - I'm about to crop in my pants looking at those.

128. - Nice. Nice.

129. - In tact.

130. Um, anyway, let's talk about Variety, OK?

131. Uh-huh.

132. - When I got done doing "The Lost Boys", and I started to get

133. messed up and all that, OK— we had a producer on there—

134. Harvey Bernhard.

135. He said, kid, if you want to apologize to everybody at once,

136. your easiest way is doing the Variety

137. or Hollywood Reporter Variety.

138. It's on every agent's desk at like seven,

139. eight in the morning.

140. - So he's saying like put an ad in the Variety?

141. - I'm just saying I'm sorry for my actions— being late on set,

142. and all that stuff.

143. Now I can't exactly go to like everybody's office to say hey,

144. I want to say I'm sorry for like being stoned

145. back when, like burning you on set.

146. Right.

147. - What would be an example of a kind of apology

148. you need to make?

149. - Like, I'm really sorry that I was on drugs

150. and I like can see you with my clear eyes I see with now.

151. I was high, Doc.

152. It's embarrassing, man.

153. - When we're deep in our addiction,

154. we do a lot of things that when we look back on them

155. we're not so happy about.

156. - That's what I'm doing now. - Taking ownership?

157. - I'm trying to own up to it, and man up and apologize to or make

158. amends, excuse me, to whom I need to.

159. I want to definitely put in there like I'm not doing this

160. for a job, I just want to reach everyone at one time.

161. - OK.

162. Hey, can you put this is not a stunt?

163. - Yeah.

164. - I just want to make amends— just want to say I'm sorry.

165. - You know, Corey, we all have wreckage.

166. Everybody makes mistakes.

167. Everybody does things they regret,

168. but the bottom line is if you can actually

169. change and move forward from that.

170. People respect that.

171. - Then I think we should do it.

172. OK. - Variety.

173. - OK, I'll call them.

174. OK.

175. Thanks, Nelles.

176. - Sure.

177. - All right, all right!

178. Hello?

179. Hey, it's Scott.

180. - Hey, Scott. How are ya?

181. I have not seen today's Variety, no.

182. Well, I can't, I can't give— An ad?

183. Yep! - What kind of an ad?

184. So I just sent Jake out to get me today's Variety,

185. because apparently, there's some kind of like ad or something

186. from Corey Haim.

187. I don't know if he mentions me or us or— ad? —what it is,

188. exactly.

189. What do you mean, an ad?

190. I have no idea.

191. - Corey.

192. Hello!

193. Corey. - Scott?

194. Yeah. Can we talk?

195. Want to show you something.

196. - Oh, is this the Variety?

197. - Mm.

198. - The article came out today.

199. - How? - The ad.

200. - It was supposed to come out tomorrow, no?

201. - No, no, no.

202. - So this is real.

203. You didn't just make this up at your house?

204. Ah. Variety.

205. - OK.

206. - Oh, no way.

207. That's a great picture.

208. COREY F.Wow.

209. This is not a stunt.

210. I'm back.

211. I'm ready to work.

212. I'm ready to make amends.

213. That was a good idea.

214. - I don't think anything's ever too late.

215. So they're being told this, like, 20 years too late.

216. So I just needed to apologize, man.

217. - I don't think making amends is ever too late.

218. - What?

219. - Well, it's a good publicity stunt.

220. I mean—

221. - This is not a stunt.

222. - Well, right, aside from the obvious stunt part of it,

223. it's not a stunt. - This is not a stunt.

224. I'm back.

225. I'm ready to work.

226. I'm ready to make amends.

227. - Good job.

228. So—

229. Grrr!

230. - I mean, I'm just flabbergasted.

231. I don't know what to say.

232. I don't get it.

233. - I think it's a terrible idea.

234. I think if you want people to take you seriously,

235. I think it's a terrible idea.

236. By the

237. think I should have the Feldmans over for dinner?

238. Well, we can call them and find

239. out when they're available next.

240. Would you mind calling for me, though?

241. I'll get them on the phone for you,

242. so you can talk to them. OK?

243. I actually don't want

244. to talk to him, because this is the way

245. he would do this with me.

246. Not to be like a little actor head.

247. You know what I mean? I'm not trying to do that.

248. Well, then if you're not trying to do that,

249. then just talk to him when I hand you the phone.

250. I just think he's been doing this to me

251. for years. You know what I mean?

252. You have the choice as to whether or not

253. you want to be bigger than that.

254. It's not tit-for-tat.

255. I mean, yeah, of course,

256. I'll speak to him, Nelle.

257. - Hello?

258. Hey, it's Corey.

259. - Hi. Hi.

260. - Hi, how are you?

261. Sorry to be calling you out of the blue

262. like this.

263. Oh no, it's all good.

264. Your ears must be ringing.

265. We were just talking about you.

266. - Uh-oh.

267. Yeah, my ears are always ringing.

268. - So what's going on?

269. I was calling

270. because I wanted to invite you and Corey

271. over for dinner tomorrow night. - At your place?

272. Are you making dinner?

273. Uh, I can either make dinner,

274. or if there's a place you'd like to meet.

275. Whatever— I'd like to make dinner,

276. though, all vegan stuff.

277. Yeah.

278. That would be interesting, you know.

279. The tables are turned, and now I can insult your food.

280. - Sure.

281. Sure.

282. - I'm just kidding.

283. - Is 7 o'clock all right for you?

284. Fine.

285. - Yeah?

286. That's all good.

287. That's all good.

288. I'll talk to Corey, and then when you call me,

289. we'll talk about it.

290. - I look forward to seeing you, actually.

291. Well, that actually sounds like fun.

292. And, you know, we'll get a chance to chat

293. and love to see your new place. - All right, Sue.

294. I love ya.

295. - Love you, too. OK.

296. - Bye.

297. - She was a little too nice, wasn't she?

298. I'm thinking, like, it's a nice gesture

299. to invite us over for dinner.

300. A little awkward at this very moment— haven't spoken to him

301. or seen him in— March.

302. - Maybe it was really awkward for him, too.

303. - It may have been.

304. - It might have been really tough for him to make that call.

305. - But I feel really bad, because I'm sitting here

306. saying that he's pathetic, and then he

307. calls and invites us over for dinner.

308. Doesn't that make you feel bad?

309. It's part of the master manipulation.

310. I go through this with him on a daily basis— every time

311. we walk into therapy.

312. No, I cannot stand the guy.

313. I don't want to spend another minute with him.

314. He's a manipulator. He's a liar.

315. And he's done awful things to us.

316. And then suddenly, I am sucked back into it,

317. and I find myself sitting there in therapy going,

318. I love you, man.

319. - What are we looking at here?

320. - We're looking at Defamer.com.

321. - Yes, ma'am.

322. Today's most-discussed stories

323. are— Corey Haim is back, ready to make amends.

324. Yeah.

325. - Views— this is you article alone —16,528.

326. Now let's see.

327. People can comment about it, so let's see what they say.

328. "This is so sad.

329. I'm a 23-year-old who went through a Corey Haim period.

330. He was so cute."Agreed.

331. Haim had it and let it slip away.

332. Or was that Feldman just sucking it out of him?"

333. - Feldman sucked it.

334. - "Corey, I'm a big fan of yours and wish

335. you nothing but the best.

336. I hope you get your comeback.

337. Everyone deserves a second chance."

338. - I cannot believe this.

339. - Aw, this is great.

340. Listen to this— "My BFF and I rented "Dream A Little Dream"

341. so often, that Hollywood Video gave us the tape."

342. - Oh my gosh.

343. - "Welcome back, Corey Haim.

344. I promised to love you forever and ever in eighth grade,

345. and I'm a girl who keeps her word."

346. - Is this normal? Yeah.

347. - OK.

348. Everybody's got an opinion, sweetheart.

349. - "Corey, aw man, saw your ad in the paper,

350. and I'm pulling for you, buddy." "Keep you head up, Corey."

351. People actually give a.

352. I saw a couple of not— I don't know.

353. There's one.

354. - "Grade one actors should—" all right.

355. "Actors should come with expiration dates."

356. Corey Haim— best if used before 1995."

357. "This is what it's coming to?

358. Panhandling in Variety?

359. How the mighty have fallen."Sorry,

360. Corey— you can dream your little dream,

361. but the reality is you're just a lost boy."

362. "Been 18 years since I was 11, and perhaps 18

363. years since Corey was cool."A little desperate?

364. No, don't you think?"A variation

365. of a will work for food sign." .

366. - I can't make anyone like me now.

367. I mean, look— this just makes me sad.

368. "All right, ready to work?

369. Good.

370. Start with aisle 14 and work your way

371. to the other side of the store.

372. The mop is in the back room."

373. - Everybody's got an opinion. That's fine.

374. No, no— you're right.

375. This is so not what I wanted, man!

376. I just wanted to say I am sorry.

377. Because seriously, it's like— I know I'm not supposed

378. to take it personally, and all that.

379. How can I— I'm a person.

380. How can I not?

381. It's about me.

382. People asserting the bad— if they don't like me,

383. why even type anything?

384. Why even read my article?

385. Why type in the bad?

386. Why? Leave it alone.

387. - So what kind of a week did you have?

388. - An interesting week.

389. I mean, it was good for the most part.

390. It's just been a little stressful.

391. Corey and I took your advice— we went bowling.

392. - Yeah.

393. - Then he surprisingly, out of nowhere,

394. called Susie and invited us to dinner to his house tomorrow

395. night. - Oh!

396. - So we said, of course, we'll come by, say hi,

397. have some dinner, see how it goes.

398. - And you feel about that?

399. Suspicious. - Yes!

400. Suspicious.

401. DR. That's what you look like.

402. - Suspicious is a good answer.

403. DR. Yeah.

404. - All right.

405. So—

406. We need pasta.

407. —right, but is there

408. anything like vegetarian in here, we can get?

409. - Here we go, look! Vegetarian.

410. Vegetarian. Here we go.

411. OK, I need to see if they have any fake meat.

412. - I can't have anything that's even

413. made with any animal anything.

414. She already made that apparently very clear to me on the phone.

415. - We need veggies and zucchini, tomatoes— You can juggle!

416. Nice!

417. I taught myself how to juggle.

418. - Multi-talented. I'll buy it.

419. I'm sorry!

420. - It's an awkward— It's going to be uncomfortable.

421. - Because that's the first time that he

422. and Susie are going to see each other.

423. Correct.

424. - And so what do you anticipate about that?

425. - It will probably mostly go well,

426. and there will probably be some very uncomfortable moments.

427. DR. Right.

428. - Why don't we just get them some Spam, and call it a day?

429. - No, no Spam!

430. Just a joke.

431. Is there anything else that you want?

432. - No— some Advil before I have dinner with Corey and his wife.

433. - And how will Susie like all that?

434. - She hasn't been going to therapy.

435. This is a fresh can of worms. DR.I know.

436. - Do you really think I should be getting Susie flowers?

437. - Yes, I think it's a nice gesture.

438. - I think it's a little overboard and too much

439. like I'm kissing your ass.

440. - Well, you're not buying her a diamond ring.

441. They will die.

442. They won't last forever.

443. Trust me.

444. - How do you think she'll handle it?

445. - If old feelings come up or old things come up,

446. she can easily be prodded into an aggressive discussion.

447. - No, I'm going to go outside and smoke a cigarette.

448. No, I didn't like the little insult yesterday on the phone.

449. Now I can insult your food.

450. Don't worry, it's going to be fine.

451. It's going to be great. This is going to be beautiful.

452. - Well, I hope it goes well— Thanks.

453. —or badly.

454. I guess, either way, we'll be talking—

455. - Either way, we'll have something to talk about.

456. DR. We sure will.

457. - All right, so garlic bread, two foreign-looking salads,

458. candles— done.

459. I feel like I'm doing

460. a scene from "The Lost Boys." What's up, bro?

461. Look at this— look at the view.

462. Look at this, buddy!

463. Thanks for coming over.

464. Thanks for having us.

465. Aw, this is nice. Thank you.

466. Thank you, gorgeous.

467. Come on in.

468. It's really nice to see you guys, you know that?

469. It's nice to see you, too.

470. It's really nice to see you guys, actually.

471. I still don't know if you're real people,

472. but it's nice to see you.

473. - We're not— we're actually mannequins.

474. - I'm a hologram of myself.

475. Shut up, it was a joke.

476. - We're 3D, actually.

477. - Anyway, I put something out in the Variety.

478. - I saw it. - So what did you think?

479. Honestly— now that I'm looking at you —what did you think?

480. Look at me. What did you think?

481. - I thought you were good.

482. I thought it was fine.

483. - But, but—

484. - No, there's no but. - OK.

485. - I thought you looked good. - Thank you.

486. - You know, it's a ballsy move.

487. I'm not sure that I would have done it.

488. - Do you know why I did that?

489. - Because you wanted work.

490. - No, because I wanted to just say I'm sorry,

491. man to everybody I've burnt in the industry, dude.

492. I mean that.

493. - When I looked at it, I didn't know

494. your intentions behind it were for—

495. - Amends?

496. - Amends— that it was like strictly apology.

497. - So you and I— how are we?

498. Because we ended really bad, too.

499. - I know. - How are we doing?

500. Where are we?

501. - We are at— I am at a place of letting go.

502. I'm not going to forget anything,

503. because I don't forget things.

504. Fair enough.

505. It's been a while since then,

506. and we can work at all being friends again.

507. We're just going to have to work on it.

508. That's all.

509. And if you show me that you're ready to do your part again,

510. then I am ready to listen, and ready to do my part, too.

511. And having us over for dinner on a very

512. nice, positive, friendly level shows me that.

513. - I love you, guys.

514. You guys are my family, and I've known you all my life.

515. And if anything, we're on the road to repair, right?

516. We're not on the road to destruction.

517. Yeah.

518. It's all a good thing.

519. - It's all very good.

520. - So first of all, I want to say I'm sorry to you guys.

521. And I also— I don't want to fight with you

522. guys anymore, man.

523. I want to, like, make amends.

524. And see, I just want to make sure we're going to be OK, man.

525. - Well, it's progress, not perfection— remember that.

526. - As long as everybody's trying, I think that it'll be fine.

527. - To family— for always.

528. Always— family, family.

529. I love you guys very much. Want a hug?

530. Come on,

531. I miss you guys, man.

532. It's like, what happened to us, dude?

533. This is ridiculous.

534. - Just don't touch her.

535. Aw, Sus—

536. - The blankie.

537. You're the best.

538. Give me a hug.

539. I love you, guys. We love you, too.