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2. You unlock this door
with the key of imagination.
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3. Beyond it is another dimension-
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4. a dimension of sound,
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5. a dimension of sight,
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6. a dimension of mind.
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7. You're moving into a land
of both shadow and substance,
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8. of things and ideas.
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9. You've just crossed over
into the twilight zone.
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10. Oh, sure, it's
a nice watch,
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11. but I'm sorry,
mr. West.
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12. I'm afraid
that that's all
I can give you.
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13. That belonged
to my grandfather.
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14. Five dollars,
mr. West.
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15. Now, don't
you worry.
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16. Your luck is bound
to get better.
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17. Oh, sure,
sure it will.
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18. Now, listen,
I'll be coming back
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19. real soon
to claim that
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20. so please,
don't sell it, huh?
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21. I'll do my best.
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22. Thank you.
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23. For 30 days,
at least.
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24. Mr. West.
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25. I'll, uh...
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26. I'll give you
$25 for him.
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27. Oh, thank you, no.
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28. No, thank you,
he's not for sale.
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29. Oh, good afternoon,
mrs. Cudahy.
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30. Hello, mr. West.
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31. Nuts.
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32. Why, susan, I'm warning you
for the last time now.
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33. You stop playing
with those poison darts.
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34. They're not really poison,
aunt agnes,
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35. and I missed him anyway.
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36. Wanna bet you didn't get a job?
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37. Susan.
Go out and play.
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38. Oh, I am so sorry,
mr. West.
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39. I don't know
what I'm going to do
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40. with that little girl.
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41. That's perfectly all
right, mrs. Cudahy.
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42. I imagine you have
your hands full.
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43. You just sit right here
and relax
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44. and I'll fix us some dinner.
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45. A fella deserves
something in his stomach
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46. at the end of a tough day, huh?
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47. Now, this ought to do it.
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48. I'll warm up some of that
fine potato soup I made for you.
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49. And don't
you worry-
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50. we'll get
a booking
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51. any day now,
you and me.
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52. We're going to be headliners
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53. just like you and
that other fellow used to be.
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54. Only I won't skip out on you
like he did.
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55. No, sir.
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56. The shame of it all.
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57. Abandoning you for some woman!
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58. No, sir!
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59. It's going to be you and me,
pal, together forever!
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60. Why don't you stop
kidding yourself, buddy?
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61. Face it, you're finished.
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62. Jonathan west, ventriloquist,
a master of voice manipulation.
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63. A man, late of ireland,
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64. with a talent for putting words
into other peoples' mouths.
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65. In this case, the other person
is a dummy aptly named caesar,
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66. a small splinter
with large ideas,
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67. a wooden tyrant with a mind
and a voice of his own
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68. who is about to talk jonathan
west into the twilight zone.
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69. Tonight's the night.
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70. I can feel it,
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71. we're going
to knock 'em dead.
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72. Wait till they hear
the new material.
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73. Oh, hello, susan.
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74. Show me how you
make him talk.
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75. Oh, I'd like
to, susan,
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76. but we're in a big
hurry right now.
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77. We're on our
way downtown.
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78. We've got an
important appointment.
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79. An audition, as
a matter of fact.
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80. Just do it once,
jonathan.
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81. The part where
he laughs.
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82. I want to see if
your lips move.
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83. All right.
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84. Caesar, what did
the lady say
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85. she would do to you
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86. if you ever
misbehaved again?
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87. She said
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88. she'd slice me
into a venetian blind.
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89. And you replied?
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90. I said
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91. "oh, you make me shudder!"
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92. I didn't see
your lips move.
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93. That's right,
you didn't.
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94. If you're so good,
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95. then how come you
can't get a job?
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96. Well, all that's
going to change,
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97. young lady, tonight.
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98. You've said
that before.
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99. Susan, where are you?
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100. Go on,
run along.
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101. You won't
get the job.
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102. Hey, pal!
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103. Keep that brat
out of this room.
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104. Now, now, don't you
worry about her,
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105. my lovely friend.
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106. We're going
to kill 'em.
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107. Caesar, there's
a man outside.
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108. What about it?
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109. A man with a wooden
leg named smith.
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110. Is that so?
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111. What's the name
of his other leg?
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112. Would you like me
to go through
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113. the juvenile
delinquent routine?
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114. It's really very funny.
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115. No, that'll be all.
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116. Just leave
your phone number.
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117. We'll get
in touch with you.
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118. Maybe mr. Miller
had a fight
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119. with his wife
at breakfast.
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120. Maybe he heard
your bad jokes.
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121. Ah, morning, mrs. Cudahy.
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122. It's a lovely
day, isn't it?
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123. Yes, it is, mr. West.
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124. I have to talk to you.
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125. I know, mrs. Cudahy,
I know.
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126. It's about the rent.
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127. But I'll have that
all straightened out
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128. by this evening.
Oh, that'll be nice.
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129. You see, I'm
looking for a job
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130. something till the
show biz picks up.
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131. Well, as you're in
that frame of mind
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132. maybe I can
help you.
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133. Now, this is
my cousin.
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134. He works at that
employment agency.
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135. Well, thank you
very much, mrs. Cudahy.
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136. My, you are
a living darling!
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137. Typing?
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138. No, sir.
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139. Salesman?
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140. No, sir.
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141. Mechanic?
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142. Uh... no.
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143. Mr. West, have
you ever held
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144. a position
of any sort?
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145. Ever made any kind
of a regular salary?
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146. That is, besides
show business?
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147. Well, sir, uh...
yes, I did.
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148. Doing what,
may I ask?
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149. Back home I worked
for a puppeteer
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150. as his apprentice.
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151. Apprentice?
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152. Yes, sir, he taught me
my trade.
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153. And I came to your country
to earn me fortune.
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154. Well, then you're not
a citizen, mr. West?
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155. Oh, no, sir, not yet,
but I'm studying
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156. and I soon will be.
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157. That's very nice.
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158. All right, we have
your number.
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159. We'll call you
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160. if we get anything
in your line.
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161. Susan, why don't
you go find
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162. somebody else
to bother?
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163. The truth hurts!
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164. And you're too scared
to tell my aunt
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165. because you're behind
in your rent.
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166. Now what?
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167. I don't know.
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168. It seems no matter
what I try, I fail.
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169. If I could just get
some money together-
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170. enough for some food
and to pay the rent-
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171. I could think clearly
without these pressures.
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172. Just a little money for
food and rent, is that it?
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173. Is that all you
want out of life?
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174. I guess so.
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175. You're a clod.
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176. A real clod.
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177. I try, I give it my best.
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178. Your best stinks.
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179. In the name of heaven, caesar,
I've had enough!
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180. I'vehad enough.
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181. Get that through your head.
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182. What do you mean?
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183. Let me spell out
the cold, hard facts-
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184. the way it's going to be
and what you're going to do.
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185. Oh, forget it, I'm a failure.
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186. Will you shut up
and listen?
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187. There's all kinds of ways
to get hold of money.
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188. I've tried everything.
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189. You havenottried everything.
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190. Now, shut up...
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191. and listen.
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192. Where are we now?
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193. We're right in front
of the furniture store.
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194. I don't mean
that, stupid!
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195. I mean, how far are we
from the delicatessen?
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196. Please, not so loud!
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197. Why, is there
anyone around?
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198. No, no, but please,
be quiet!
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199. Tell me when
we're in front
of our mark.
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200. Now what?
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201. I lost my footing,
it's very dark.
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202. Good, that's
a break.
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203. Are we on the
sidewalk now?
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204. Yes.
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205. Yes, now we're right in front
of the delicatessen.
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206. Is the
coast clear?
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207. Yes.
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208. There's absolutely
no one around.
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209. Okay.
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210. Then stop
wasting time.
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211. Move!
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212. 31... 32...
33.
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213. There you are,
mrs. Cudahy
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214. all paid up in full.
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215. Will wonders
ever cease?
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216. Shh, susan.
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217. Isn't it nice
to pay your bills?
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218. Yes, ma'am.
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219. Better count it
again, auntie.
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220. See if they're real.
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221. Susan, be a good girl
and go tidy up your room.
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222. And don't be fresh
to mr. West.
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223. He has a new start on life,
don't you, mr. West?
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224. That's right,
mrs. Cudahy,
a new start.
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225. Don't let her
worry you.
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226. You know how children
are these days.
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227. Oh, I understand.
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228. A common thief.
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229. What a way
to make a living.
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230. You couldn't make it
any other way.
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231. What's happened to me?
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232. What am I?
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233. A no-talent
ventriloquist.
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234. Worse.
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235. A second-rate thief.
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236. Third-rate.
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237. Starving to death.
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238. In the profession I know
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239. paying the bills by robbing
the neighborhood delicatessen.
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240. Well, that's show biz.
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241. I guess I wasn't too bad
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242. considering it was
my opening performance.
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243. Let me straighten you out
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244. before you start taking
too many bows.
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245. Oh, caesar,
just let me alone, please.
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246. No! Let me spell
it out for you.
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247. You act penny ante
because you think penny ante.
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248. That's the story of your life.
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249. From now on,
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250. you're going
to listen to me.
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251. You're going to get rid of
that shanty irish routine.
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252. This is america.
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253. What do you mean?
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254. Open your eyes!
Look around you!
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255. The streets are paved with gold,
and it's sitting out there
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256. waiting for us.
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257. Think you're smart,
don't you, mr. Stuck-up?
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258. Just 'cause you're
on the stage.
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259. You can talk!
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260. I heard you!
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261. Come on,
say something.
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262. I dare you.
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263. Susan!
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264. What were you
doing in my room?
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265. You're hurting me-
I'll tell my aunt.
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266. Didn't she tell you to stay
out of the guest rooms.
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267. Now what were you
doing in there?
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268. Wouldn't you
like to know?
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269. You brat, tell me
what you were doing.
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270. You're so smart, ask him.
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271. Caesar.
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272. Caesar, what happened?
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273. Sit down.
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274. Did she do anything to hurt you?
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275. Never mind that.
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276. First things
first.
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277. We've got to get of here.
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278. I'm scared.
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279. Maybe she knows.
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280. This is no time to get chicken.
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281. After
tonight's job,
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282. we'll be on
easy street.
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283. You don't understand
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284. I'm not cut out
for this line of work.
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285. Take it easy.
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286. You're eating,
aren't you?
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287. You're paying
the rent.
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288. Where were you before?
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289. Now, listen to me.
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290. This is the big one.
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291. But this is the last one.
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292. The end for me.
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293. Yeah, sure.
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294. Sure
it is, pal.
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295. Just one more.
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296. The "really big shoe."
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297. It's all right so far.
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298. There's no one around.
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299. Then get moving.
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300. Up to the front office.
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301. It's only the mice.
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302. Get going before
they attack us.
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303. And stop shaking.
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304. Hurry up.
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305. You got the wire?
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306. Yes.
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307. Remember, if the
watchman comes around,
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308. just stay as calm
as you can
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309. and explain you were
looking for mr. Miller;
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310. that you were supposed
to meet him here.
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311. Slowly now.
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312. It'll work.
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313. Suppose it doesn't.
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314. Supposing
I can't open it.
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315. You opened the back
door, didn't you?
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316. Now, stop whining.
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317. Do you want to
be poor again?
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318. It clicked.
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319. Open it, stupid.
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320. Hold it out there!
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321. Who is it?
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322. Jonathan west, sir,
the ventriloquist.
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323. Mr. Miller told me
to meet him after closing.
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324. Oh, yeah?
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325. Yes, sir.
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326. Have you met caesar, sir?
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327. Caesar, can you say hello to the
nice gentleman from in there?
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328. What are you,
the house dick?
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329. No, I'm the night watchman.
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330. Listen, with the
job you're doing
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331. it's a wonder the mice
haven't heisted the joint.
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332. Caesar, that's enough.
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333. I'm sorry, sir.
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334. I'm afraid he's a born comic.
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335. Sure, I remember you now
from the other day.
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336. You were
auditioning.
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337. Mr. Miller went home.
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338. He left about 45 minutes ago.
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339. Really? I'm sorry.
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340. You should have
caught our act.
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341. We're very big
in dublin.
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342. Never mind, caesar.
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343. Well, thank you very much, sir.
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344. I won't be keeping you.
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345. Good night.
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346. I'd feel better
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347. if the watchman
hadn't seen us.
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348. Stop worrying.
I'll cover for you.
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349. I'm your alibi.
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350. But if that watchman
reports me...
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351. not you, pal... us.
We're a team.
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352. Sure, sure, I know that.
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353. But what about
that night watchman?
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354. Forget the watchman.
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355. Shut up, go to bed.
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356. "The carioca club
robbed last night.
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357. "Manager's office
looted.
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358. "Night watchman
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359. providing police
with clue."
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360. Police department, please.
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361. I know who robbed
the carioca club last night.
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362. Kinda early in the day
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363. to be hitting the juice,
ain't it, dillinger?
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364. You like a roof over
your head, don't you?
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365. Now don't give me your common
thief routine again, huh?
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366. A man has to live with himself.
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367. Even if he lives in the gutter.
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368. Oh, mr. West,
these two gentlemen,
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369. they're from the
police department
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370. and they want
a word with you.
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371. Why, certainly.
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372. Won't you
come in please?
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373. What could I do
for you, gentlemen?
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374. Well, you see...
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375. thank you,
mrs. Cudahy.
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376. Mr. West, I'd
like to ask you
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377. a few questions.
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378. Mrs. Cudahy,
could you wait?
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379. You may be
of some help.
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380. Oh, of course.
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381. Mr. West is one of
my favorite boarders.
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382. I'd ask you to sit
down, gentlemen,
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383. but I don't have
many chairs.
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384. It's just a room
for one.
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385. Me and my friend, that is.
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386. But it suits me just fine.
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387. Mr. West, where
were you last night
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388. at around midnight?
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389. He was at home, I'm sure.
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390. He seldom goes out at night.
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391. I seldom go out at night.
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392. Mr. West,
the desk
sergeant
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393. received
an anonymous
phone call
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394. indicating
you were not
in your room.
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395. We're almost always
here at night.
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396. You didn't go
to the carioca
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397. looking for anyone?
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398. The night club?
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399. Oh.
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400. Oh, that night club.
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401. That's a place where
we might be working soon.
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402. Because the night
watchman said
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403. that he saw
you there...
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404. absolutely.
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405. Oh, last night, you say.
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406. Well, let me think now.
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407. Caesar and I had dinner and...
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408. tell them, caesar.
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409. Caesar, please,
tell them.
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410. Tell them
I wouldn't hurt anyone.
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411. I mean, I didn't use a gun
or anything, did I?
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412. Please, caesar, tell them how we
were going to play the big time.
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413. We're a team, you see.
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414. You don't believe me, do you?
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415. Well, you
just ask him.
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416. You ask caesar.
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417. Go on, tell them.
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418. Tell them, caesar.
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419. Tell them
how you were
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420. only trying
to help me-
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421. to take the
pressure off.
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422. I tried to find a job
and I couldn't.
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423. Isn't that
right?
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424. You were trying to help me-
tell them.
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425. The bills were piling up,
there was no food to eat,
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426. the rent was overdue
and you were trying to help me.
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427. Isn't that right, caesar?
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428. Please tell
them, caesar.
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429. Tell them that you were
just trying to help me
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430. and that I'm not
a common thief, caesar.
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431. Please, caesar.
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432. I thought you said it was us.
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433. Oh, caesar.
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434. He said we were a team.
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435. Mr. West, you better
come along with us now.
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436. Such a nice man.
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437. He's a
no-good crook.
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438. Psst.
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439. Hey, you.
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440. Yeah, you.
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441. Come over here, honey.
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442. I know you
finked on him.
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443. You're a hip little kid.
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444. I like you.
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445. I knew you talked.
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446. I knew it.
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447. I want to ask
you something.
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448. You're not happy living here
with your crummy aunt, are you?
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449. That's a stupid question.
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450. You'd probably like to run away
from this flea trap.
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451. I sure would.
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452. Okay...
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453. it's you and me, kid.
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454. We're a team.
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455. Is mr. West going to jail?
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456. Honey, he'll be gone
a long, long time.
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457. I know where
he's got the
money hidden.
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458. We'll go to new york.
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459. I'll show you the bright lights.
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460. What about my aunt?
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461. Honey...
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462. you still got
those poison darts?
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463. A little girl
and a wooden doll,
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464. a lethal dummy
in the shape of a man.
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465. But everybody knows
dummies can't talk-
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466. unless, of course,
they learn their vocabulary
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467. in the twilight zone.
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468. And now, mr. Serling.
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469. Next time out, you'll share
a study in depth of human terror
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470. with martin landau
and john van dreelen.
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471. You'll stay in a hotel room
of a european city
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472. which has been booby-trapped
with a plastic bomb.
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473. You'll walk around this room
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474. with violent death
resting on your shoulder.
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475. It could be anywhere-
a picture, a chair, a faucet,
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476. or simply the carpet
you're walking on.
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477. Next time out
onthe twilight zone,
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478. "the jeopardy room."
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