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2. You unlock this door
with the key of imagination.
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3. Beyond it
is another dimension-
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4. a dimension of sound,
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5. a dimension of sight,
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6. a dimension of mind.
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7. You're moving into a land
of both shadow and substance,
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8. of things and ideas.
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9. You've just crossed over
into the twilight zone.
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10. Uncle simon?
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11. Uncle simon, do you want
your hot chocolate upstairs?
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12. Uncle simon,
do you hear me?
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13. Do you want your hot
chocolate upstairs?
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14. Uncle simon?
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15. Garbage-head!
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16. I'm right behind you.
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17. There's no need
to yell.
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18. Well, my wilting blossom,
what's on your mind?
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19. Your hot chocolate
is ready.
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20. You told me you were
going to take a nap.
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21. Sometime try extending
yourself, uncle,
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22. just sufficiently
to let me know where
you are on occasion.
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23. Well, barbara, I think
I can narrow that down for you.
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24. If I'm not upstairs in my
bedroom or in the study,
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25. then I'm downstairs
in my laboratory.
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26. Wherever I am, you can bring
the hot chocolate.
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27. And if I'm not...
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28. I've dropped dead en route,
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29. and you can bring me a bottle
of formaldehyde and a rose.
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30. You're such a
humorist, uncle.
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31. You should have gone
into burlesque.
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32. Well, I guess I'd have been
more comfortable there than you.
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33. You ever dance, barbara?
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34. I'm very busy,
uncle simon.
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35. You ever cut loose
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36. and dance a fast
charleston?
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37. No, most unlikely,
most unlikely.
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38. You know, you're
the only woman I
know who looks
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39. as if underneath
her clothes, she
wore clothes.
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40. You have all the grace
and femininity
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41. of a high-button shoe.
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42. And you, uncle simon...
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43. go on.
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44. Let's see if you can compensate
for the fact
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45. that you're
a passionless vegetable
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46. by speaking
your mind.
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47. If I'm a passionless vegetable,
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48. it's because my gardener
is an ancient relic
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49. made out of dry skin
and ice water.
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50. Not bad, not bad, not bad.
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51. You know, if I prod you
hard enough,
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52. you can scramble up
to the occasion,
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53. or at least part way.
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54. Well, my angular turnip,
what else is new with you?
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55. You say you made some
hot chocolate today, hmm?
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56. Any other soul-
stirring projects
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57. you applied
yourself to?
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58. I see you tried to open the
drapes in the bedroom and hall.
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59. I see that you
closed them.
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60. You asked me
what I had done today,
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61. and I'm telling you.
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62. I cleaned up after you.
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63. I tried to clear away
some of the debris
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64. you always leave behind.
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65. And what is this
contraption, hmm?
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66. A room-straightener,
perhaps?
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67. Tell me, uncle scientist,
where does this belong?
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68. Put it back where it was.
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69. You've been told
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70. a thousand times
not to disturb things.
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71. I could have put
it away when I swept
out the cellar,
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72. but as usual, your
laboratory door was
securely bolted.
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73. I would like to find out
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74. what you putter around with
down there.
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75. Yeah, I'll bet you would,
and someday you shall.
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76. Someday, you will be owner
of this decaying barn,
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77. and then you can do
as you please.
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78. Until then, keep
your spindle-shanked carcass
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79. out of my laboratory,
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80. and your probing nose
out of my business.
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81. Now, go and get me
some hot chocolate,
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82. and use the english
bone china cup.
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83. If it's not hot enough,
I'll throw it on the floor.
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84. Barbara... question.
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85. Go on.
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86. Why do you stay here?
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87. I was under the impression
that I was needed.
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88. You are.
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89. That explains
why I keep you here,
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90. but it doesn't even remotely
suggest why you stay.
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91. You would like me to be
quite honest, I presume?
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92. Indeed. You may be short
on beauty,
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93. but a lack of candor
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94. has never been
one of your deficiencies.
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95. I stay...
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96. I live for the moment
when I can see you buried.
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97. When I come back
from your funeral,
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98. I'm going to open
a bottle of wine.
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99. I want to be compensated,
uncle simon,
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100. for 25 years
of being shrieked at,
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101. insulted, berated, humiliated
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102. and stepped on like an old rug.
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103. Is that sufficiently honest
for you?
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104. Well, I wish you well,
my good and faithful barbara.
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105. But unasked, I offer you
this observation:
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106. If you had an ounce of gristle
or an inch of intestines,
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107. you'd have murdered me
years ago.
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108. And as for your 25
years of abject misery
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109. and unspeakable indignation,
you deserve it, kid.
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110. Now go and get me
some chocolate.
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111. Mr. Simon polk,
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112. who has lived out his life
in a gleeful rage.
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113. And the young lady
who's beat the hasty retreat
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114. is mr. Polk's niece, barbara.
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115. She has lived her life
as if during each ensuing hour,
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116. she had a dentist's appointment.
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117. There's a third member
soon to be seen.
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118. He now resides
in the laboratory,
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119. and he is the kind of character
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120. to be found
only in the twilight zone.
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121. Well... what have we here?
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122. I was looking for...
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123. looking for what?
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124. I... thought perhaps
you might show me
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125. what you were building.
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126. Indeed. You'd like to
know, wouldn't you?
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127. That's the only
character trait
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128. you share with normal
curiosity.
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129. Ineffable curiosity.
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130. Well, one day, you'll
know what I'm building,
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131. but until then,
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132. you night-crawling
imitation of the
female gender,
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133. if I catch you sneaking
around outside my door,
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134. I'll break your head.
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135. Now, go on upstairs
and engage yourself
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136. in a nerve-wracking
game of dominos.
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137. Tell me, uncle simon...
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138. why do beasts like you
stay alive so long?
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139. What's that again?
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140. You heard me.
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141. Why do decent men die,
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142. and animals like yourself
keep living on?
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143. Because, in most cases,
mine in particular,
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144. we have something to live for.
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145. I have you
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146. to live for, you
crooked-seamed grubber.
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147. That's why I keep
this decrepit old heart beating
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148. and these over-the-hill lungs
breathing.
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149. I know how dedicated you are
to seeing me die.
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150. Who came here 25 years ago
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151. when you were crippled and sick
and couldn't move?
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152. Who came here and nursed you
and kept you alive?
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153. You did!
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154. You did,
you scrounging female ape.
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155. Now let's get down to cases.
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156. Why did you come?
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157. Was it out of love, barbara?
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158. Was it out of a
palpitating compassion
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159. or a flagpole-
stiff loyalty?
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160. I'll tell you
why you came.
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161. You stayed on month after month,
year after year,
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162. because every prayer
that came out of your mouth
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163. was a supplication that I'd die
before the next morning.
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164. So don't go mouthing
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165. your sweetnesses at me,
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166. you thin-lipped,
toothpick-legged conniver.
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167. Everything you did for me,
you did for greed.
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168. Greed!
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169. Greed so big, so thick, so heavy
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170. that it blotted out
even the hatred inside you.
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171. But let me tell
you something, you
money-sick crone.
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172. You'll get paid off
in due course,
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173. but before that, you'll pay
through every bone in your body.
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174. You'll pay, you ugly
harpy, you, you...
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175. barbara... help me.
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176. Barbara... why
won't you help me?
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177. Why don't you
help me, barbara?
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178. What's that?
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179. What's that, uncle?
I didn't quite hear you.
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180. Speak a little louder,
would you?
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181. Tell me what it is
that you wanted.
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182. I think my
back is broken.
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183. You say you want
some hot chocolate?
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184. Do you want it
in the english bone china cup?
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185. What is your pleasure,
uncle?
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186. You say you want me
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187. to close the drapes
and shut the windows?
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188. Barbara...
barbara...
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189. barbara?
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190. You want barbara?
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191. She's right here, love,
standing right above you.
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192. Can't you see her?
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193. Can't you hear her,
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194. you ancient albatross
with a dirty mouth?
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195. Uncle simon?
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196. Uncle simon?
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197. Please... don't die
quite this moment.
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198. If you can hold on,
try, try just for a second.
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199. I want to tell you
something.
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200. I want to make
an announcement.
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201. As of this second,
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202. as of this very second,
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203. I have quit suffering
because of you.
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204. I am no longer sowing,
uncle simon.
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205. As of right now,
I am going to reap!
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206. Hey, world, I'm back!
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207. I'm really back!
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208. If you give me
the sense of it,
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209. I can dispose
of some things.
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210. That is the sense of it.
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211. The will
very explicitly requires
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212. that you throw away nothing.
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213. You keep everything
intact.
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214. I see.
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215. The house,
its furnishings...
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216. everything goes to you
in perpetuity.
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217. The proviso is, of course,
that you remain here.
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218. Where would I go?
This is my home.
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219. Of course, of course.
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220. But, uh, the document
is quite clear in its intent.
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221. Everything will remain
in your name
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222. so long as you are
on the premises.
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223. The same thing applies
to the various securities
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224. and the cash,
which is quite sizable.
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225. It's been set up
in trust.
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226. You're to draw
the interest accruing
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227. so long as you remain
in the house.
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228. Where could anybody find a man
with a heart as big as his?
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229. Uh, now this...
this is a codicil
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230. your uncle had delivered
to my office.
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231. His instructions were
to include it in the will.
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232. "Add this codicil...
additional stipulation..."
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233. uh... hmm.
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234. The sense of this
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235. is that to qualify
for the other legacies,
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236. there is one additional
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237. You're to care for all
of your uncle's experiments.
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238. "Care for"... that's odd...
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239. I don't understand,
mr. Schwimmer.
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240. Just exactly what experiments
did he mean?
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241. I have no idea.
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242. But, uh, it reads as follows:
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243. "My beloved niece, barbara,
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244. "will be responsible
for the well-being
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245. "of my latest experiment.
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246. "She will look after it
and see to its wants and needs.
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247. "A member of the law firm
of schwimmer, schwimmer, king,
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248. "bathrick, pepperin,
and schwimmer
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249. "will visit each week to see
this stipulation is adhered to.
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250. "In the event my beloved
niece barbara fails to comply
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251. "with the provisions hereof,
I hereby give and bequeath
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252. "all property,
both real and personal,
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253. to the state university."
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254. Now, the sense of that,
miss polk...
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255. just what is the sense of that?
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256. I gather it depends
on the nature of the experiment.
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257. He refers to it as "it."
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258. You have no idea what "it" is?
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259. No idea at all,
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260. except that whatever it is,
it must be in the laboratory.
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261. Well, nothing in here
of any consequence.
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262. How do you do?
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263. I'm a mechanical man
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264. built by your late
uncle simon polk.
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265. Your opening the door
has activated
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266. all of my operating relays.
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267. Be patient with me,
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268. because according
to plan...
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269. according to plan...
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270. according
to plan...
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271. according to...
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272. it will be several days
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273. before I can function
at maximum capacity.
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274. I bid you greetings.
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275. Hello, barbara.
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276. Bar-bara!
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277. Bar-bara!
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278. I'm going out,
frankenstein.
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279. If you need anything,
like a can of lubricant,
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280. get it yourself.
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281. You must not leave.
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282. Mr. Schwimmer
is coming tonight.
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283. A week has gone by.
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284. Isn't mr. Schwimmer coming?
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285. Yes, mr. Schwimmer
is coming.
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286. He'll be here at 8:00.
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287. Good.
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288. Good?
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289. Good for what?
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290. He will see that I am
functioning properly.
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291. You see, I am
like an infant.
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292. I am maturing gradually.
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293. Soon, I will have
all my faculties.
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294. I will be able to perform
all my functions.
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295. I will be a whole being.
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296. How nice.
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297. How perfectly grand.
How exciting.
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298. You'll be a whole being.
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299. Then what will happen?
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300. I will take on human attributes,
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301. those which your uncle simon
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302. saw fit to give me.
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303. My uncle simon, hmm?
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304. There was a prince of a man.
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305. A... a brilliant man.
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306. This is interesting.
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307. This is very interesting.
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308. It's coming through now.
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309. What is?
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310. A... a craving.
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311. A new craving.
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312. Hot chocolate.
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313. I would love a cup
of hot chocolate.
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314. Miss polk.
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315. Well, you look
lovely, miss polk.
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316. And how is...
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317. how is young master polk, hmm?
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318. You took those keys
off the desk.
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319. Give them back to me.
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320. Oh, no, I must keep the
laboratory door locked.
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321. You must not come down.
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322. It is my room.
It belongs to me.
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323. Barbara...
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324. won't you bring me
some hot chocolate?
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325. After you bring me
my hot chocolate,
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326. would you please
close all the windows
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327. and pull the drapes?
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328. I don't like
the light.
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329. I don't like
the draft.
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330. (speaking in
what is the matter, barbara?
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331. Tell me, please,
what is the matter?
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332. What is the matter?
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333. What is the matter,
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334. you peanut-headed
sample of nature's
carelessness?
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335. Barbara... barbara...
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336. help me...
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337. help... me...
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338. ah, how are you this evening,
miss polk?
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339. He, uh... itis rather quiet
these days.
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340. Doesn't seem to say much.
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341. He makes his wants known.
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342. Pity about his... his leg,
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343. but he manages to get around,
doesn't he?
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344. Indeed, he does.
Indeed, he does.
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345. Well, I'll see you next week.
Take care of yourself.
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346. No need to show me out.
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347. Barbara.
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348. Barbara?
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349. Barbara, my dear,
if you could prevail
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350. upon that raggedy ann carcass
of yours to exert itself,
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351. I'd like a cup
of hot chocolate.
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352. I would like it
in the english bone china cup,
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353. and if it's not hot,
I'll throw it on the floor.
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354. All right, I'll make some.
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355. Speak up, you lint-headed clod.
I couldn't hear you.
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356. I'll make some hot chocolate.
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357. Move, you topping lotus-eater.
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358. Be sure it's hot.
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359. Do you hear me?
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360. Make sure it's hot.
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361. What does it take to make
you move, you bovine crab?
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362. I'll fix it
for you now.
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363. You'll fix it for
me now... what?
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364. I'll fix it for you now...
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365. uncle.
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366. A metal man
who'll go by the name of simon,
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367. whose life as well as his body
has been stamped on for him.
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368. And the woman who tends
to him-
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369. the lady barbara,
who's discovered belatedly
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370. that all bad things
don't come to an end,
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371. and that once a bed is made,
it's necessary you sleep in it.
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372. Tonight's uncomfortable
little exercise
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373. in avarice and automatons
from the twilight zone.
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374. And now, mr. Serling.
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375. Next ontwilight zone,
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376. an eminent performer
of stage and screen,
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377. mr. Richard basehart,
in an odd-ball excursion
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378. that we call
"probe seven, over and out."
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379. On occasion, we'll come up with
a wild and woolly denouement,
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380. but this particular opus
has an unpredictable ending
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381. that we doubt if even
the most seasonedtzfans
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382. will be able to pick up before
it happens on your screen.
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383. Next ontwilight zone,
"probe seven, over and out."
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