The Twilight Zone 5x33

1. You unlock this door with the key of imagination.

2. Beyond it is another dimension.

3. A dimension of sound,

4. a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind.

5. You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance,

6. of things and ideas.

7. You've just crossed over into the Twilight Zone.

8. Good evening, happy family members and stockholders

9. of the W.V. Whipple manufacturing corporation.

10. This year, as you've already perceived,

11. we are bringing you the story of your company's progress

12. via the motion picture screen.

13. This is our main operating plant in the Midwest.

14. You will note the number of employees

15. attending the assembly line.

16. In this one plant, your company employs 34,827 men.

17. Added to 13 other major Whipple plants

18. across the country,

19. we employ a total of close to 283,000 personnel.

20. And now, to the stunning and exciting news

21. which I believe you'll agree shows, once again,

22. that at Whipple's, we only take forward steps.

23. Now, family members, and stockholders

24. of the Whipple corporation,

25. this is the x109b14

26. modified transistorized totally automatic

27. assembly machine which eliminates

28. 61,000 jobs,

29. 73 bulky, inefficient machines,

30. 81,000 needless man hours per 11 working days

31. and $4 million in expenditures each year

32. for employee hospitalization, employee insurance,

33. employee welfare and employee profit participation.

34. Even as you stockholders are watching this film,

35. the first model of the x109b14 modified transistorized machine

36. is being placed into operations

37. here in our Midwestern main plant.

38. Within six months, our entire production facilities

39. will be totally automated.

40. Ladies and gentlemen, from now on.

41. Whipple will operate from a brain center

42. with machines such as this one.

43. Ladies and gentlemen of the Whipple family,

44. this ends our 1967 year-end report.

45. Well, Hanley,

46. will that bring the stockholders

47. to their feet cheering?

48. Not that I need encouragement.

49. The movie speaks for itself.

50. It does, indeed.

51. You didn't like it, Hanley?

52. I'm a chief engineer, Mr. Whipple.

53. My duties consist of plant management.

54. I'm not a film critic.

55. Look, I didn't expect four stars, Hanley.

56. But as plant manager, I wanted your point of view

57. on the film's content.

58. I thought you'd have some enthusiasm

59. for the changes we're planning.

60. Doesn't it give you the lay of the land?

61. Can't you answer that?

62. Oh, yes.

63. It gives me the lay of the land.

64. Tell me

65. do you really expect to automate in six months?

66. Four months is a better guess.

67. Lots of things are going in the trash heap.

68. Time clocks, for instance.

69. There won't be anybody to punch in or out.

70. I'll donate them to a museum.

71. Something, Hanley?

72. Yes, something.

73. Something like a lot of men out of work!

74. That, unfortunately, is progress, Hanley.

75. You're a solid man on assembly line planning.

76. But when it comes to progress

77. you're a foot-dragger.

78. Sweetheart, you and I are going to spend

79. a lot of time together.

80. Indeed, we are.

81. Indeed, indeed, indeed we are.

82. These are the players, with or without a scorecard:

83. In one corner, a machine;

84. in the other, one Wallace V. Whipple, man.

85. And the game?

86. It happens to be the historical battle

87. between flesh and steel,

88. between the brain of man

89. and the product of man's brain.

90. We don't make book on this one, and predict no winner

91. but we can tell you that for this particular contest,

92. there is standing room only

93. in the Twilight Zone.

94. You know what your trouble is?

95. You're holding on tight to this 19th century.

96. I'm holding tight to some principles

97. principles that have to do with firing.

98. The regret for the wholesale firings

99. of men who've worked here from 20 to 30 years.

100. Regret, indeed, it's come to regret?

101. I'll let you handle the regrets.

102. That'll be your responsibility.

103. Have a sign made for your desk.

104. "Mr. Walter Hanley,

105. plant manager in charge of regrets."

106. Tell me, why are you so eager

107. to replace men with machines?

108. Did it ever occur to you

109. that you're trading efficiency for pride?

110. Pride?

111. Yes, pride!

112. Craftsmanship.

113. What a man feels when he makes something.

114. What does your machine feel?

115. Anything?

116. Anything at all?

117. What the devil can I do with pride?

118. Can it, bottle it, wrap it, produce it?

119. I'm not selling pride, I'm selling product.

120. Your father... what about my father?

121. He ran this plant for 40 years.

122. He had an eye for profit.

123. He was never inefficient, but... but what?

124. He had something else on his mind.

125. What else did my father have on his mind?

126. Good will.

127. And the welfare of the people who worked for him.

128. Good will and the welfare of the people

129. that worked for him, indeed.

130. In 40 years, my father doubled the size of his plant

131. while his competitors quadrupled theirs.

132. His competitors, who were less concerned

133. with the good will and welfare

134. of the people that worked for them.

135. They paid a fair wage and got a fair day's work.

136. But, if they could find a machine to replace a man

137. they did it.

138. But they didn't have

139. plant managers like yourself

140. who went off into a crying jag

141. every time a pink slip

142. was attached to a time clock.

143. What's the name of the plant foreman?

144. Dickerson, Dickerson, that's his name.

145. Get him up here for me, will you?

146. I'm going to indulge in

147. that heartfelt compassion you hunger for.

148. I'm going to give him and his staff four months' notice.

149. Now, Hanley, is that compassionate or isn't it?

150. Now, go get him, please, get him up here

151. hold his hand, dry his eyes, pat him on the head

152. but get him up here.

153. So that's about the size of it, Mr. Dickerson,

154. you may tell the entire day shift

155. that they'll be pink-slipped as of the first of July.

156. We're here to set it up, Mr. Whipple.

157. Oh, fine, I've checked the machine over.

158. Just put it downstairs, but treat it gently.

159. Handle it with care.

160. Now, you realize that this somewhat wholesale discharge

161. has nothing to do with dissatisfaction

162. on your part or that of the men.

163. It's merely progress, Mr. Dickerson.

164. Out with the old, in with the new... automation.

165. That'll be all.

166. Yes, Mr. Whipple.

167. That will be all.

168. Did you ever notice, Mr. Hanley,

169. ever notice how it looks like it had a face?

170. An ugly face.

171. A miserable, ugly face.

172. Whipple, he thinks it's a machine.

173. It's not a machine, it's an enemy.

174. It's an opponent.

175. I swear, we've got to hate a thing like this.

176. Getting awful late, dick.

177. Should have closed half an hour ago.

178. You know what these are?

179. Pair of hands?

180. Yeah, pair of hands.

181. You know what else they are?

182. They're obsolete, they're off the market.

183. They're like wooden wagons trying to roll down a freeway.

184. Flesh and bone and muscle and nerve

185. but that don't cut mustard anymore.

186. I want to tell you some

187. I'm going to tell you something.

188. There isn't a machine made.

189. That can beat a man.

190. Isn't one... I'll prove it to you!

191. I'm going over there right now

192. and I'm going to prove it to you.

193. I'm going to take that new machine of Whipple's

194. and I'm going to turn it

195. into nuts and bolts.

196. And if that slob with the key chain gets in my way

197. I'm going to strangle him with it.

198. Dickerson!

199. The watchman called.

200. He said you're drunk

201. and barged right past him.

202. And he's right, Mr. Whipple.

203. I am drunk.

204. And I did barge right in.

205. I've worked here for 30 years!

206. And I've been foreman for 17 of them.

207. In my book, that gives me some rights, Mr. Whipple.

208. Well, you've got the wrong book, Dickerson.

209. You're drunk, disorderly

210. and trespassing on private property

211. and subject to arrest.

212. Tell me something, Mr. Whipple.

213. When you're dead and buried, who will mourn for you?

214. Shall I tell you the difference, Mr. Dickerson,

215. between you and it?

216. That machine costs two cents an hour for current.

217. It lasts indefinitely.

218. It gets no wrinkles, no arthritis,

219. no hardening of the arteries.

220. That one machine is a lathe operator, a press operator.

221. Two machines replace 114 men

222. that take no coffee breaks, no sick leaves,

223. no vacations with pay.

224. And that, in my book,

225. is worth considerably more than you are.

226. They should have stopped you a year ago!

227. Somebody ought to held you down

228. and put a bit in your head

229. and poured in some reminders

230. that men have to eat and work.

231. And you can't pack them in Cosmoline

232. like surplus tanks!

233. Or put them out to pasture like old bulls!

234. I'm a man, Mr. Whipple!

235. You hear me? I'm a man!

236. And that makes me better than that

237. hunk of metal, you hear me?!

238. Better!

239. What should I do?

240. Stop him, stop him!

241. He has a crow bar!

242. I don't care!

243. No, you can't do that!

244. You see, machine?

245. It... took more than... you to beat me.

246. It... it took a man.

247. Oh, Hanley, I've been expecting you.

248. No doubt.

249. They told me you were at the hospital.

250. I just came from the hospital.

251. Fortunately for you, Mr. Whipple,

252. Dickerson's going to live.

253. Fortunately, other than protecting my property

254. I have no involvement in that.

255. Are the technicians downstairs?

256. I asked you a question.

257. Are the technicians repairing that machine?

258. It appears so.

259. Ah, good.

260. Oh, Hanley, this should interest you.

261. This is a tape-controlled seven axis.

262. It's called a sentry.

263. Know what it does?

264. It keeps an eye on every operation

265. in the entire plant.

266. It keeps absolutely accurate data

267. on man hours, cost hours, product rejects,

268. just everything!

269. The most sophisticated machine I've ever seen.

270. I just bought it.

271. How many men does it replace?

272. This should please you

273. only one, just one!

274. As a matter of fact, it replaces you.

275. That's only right, Mr. Whipple,

276. since the point of my coming today

277. was to give you my notice.

278. Oh, good, good.

279. I suspected as much.

280. You're a sensible man

281. and I'm sure you know that an industrial team

282. has to be a compatible team.

283. And when two men rub each other the wrong way,

284. well, it's unrealistic and impractical

285. that they try to stay on the same team.

286. In spite of the fact you think I'm kind of an ogre,

287. some sort of a heartless scrooge,

288. I'm not going to forget the many years

289. of hard work you put in for me and my father.

290. I'm going to see that you get an extremely liberal severance pay

291. and what I'm sure you'll agree

292. is a far better than average pension.

293. That's very generous of you.

294. There's something I'd like to give you,

295. if you don't mind.

296. No, what is that?

297. That's for you from me.

298. For your lack of sensitivity, compassion.

299. Your heartless manipulation of men and metals.

300. You can take my severance pay,

301. my pension, and your good-bye speeches

302. and feed them into your machine.

303. Because when I walk away from you,

304. I walk away clean.

305. And that, Mr. Whipple, is one hell of a trick!

306. A new watchman device.

307. Take out your I.D. card

308. and hold it in front of the door.

309. There are built-in electric eyes.

310. Yes, Mr. Whipple?

311. Oh, run a control check, please.

312. I already have, two hours ago.

313. I did it right after lunch, too.

314. And if you recall, sir,

315. I did it this morning, as well.

316. Ever heard of preventative maintenance?

317. It's my job, Mr. Whipple.

318. What you're asking of me isn't maintenance.

319. It's not preventing a thing.

320. Oh, indeed, and I suppose

321. you know what's needed in this plant and what isn't needed.

322. I know that running equipment checks

323. ten times a day is a waste of time,

324. a waste of effort,

325. and it's becoming an idiotic ritual around here.

326. Young man, your presence is

327. a necessity of the moment.

328. Notice I stress "of the moment."

329. Uh, a case in point.

330. Case in point.

331. Now, stay here, observe this.

332. Dear sir

333. yours of the 14th received and acknowledged.

334. Now is the time for all good men

335. to come to the aid of their country

336. etc., etc., etc., etc.

337. A perfect letter.

338. Not one error or erasure.

339. Typed at conception.

340. Am I getting through, young man?

341. You mean secretaries are obsolete now.

342. Precisely, obsolete.

343. And do you know what else it means?

344. It means no more powder rooms, no more coffee breaks.

345. No more work stoppages

346. due to sundry inconveniences

347. such as maternity and all that.

348. Inconveniences like maternity?

349. You'll have to forgive me, Mr. Whipple.

350. But if we keep this up

351. we'll have wonderful products

352. but mighty few people to buy them.

353. Happily that is not my concern.

354. Providing efficiency... That is my only concern.

355. Mr. Whipple?

356. Have you looked around this place, lately?

357. Looked around?

358. The cafeteria, for example.

359. It's like a cave.

360. Not a soul in there.

361. Just a few vending machines

362. and music through a loudspeaker.

363. Have you seen the parking lot?

364. It's a desert.

365. No cars, no people.

366. How very enlightening.

367. This place has everything now

368. for efficiency.

369. Do you know what it lacks?

370. No, tell me.

371. Voices.

372. Laughter.

373. Whatever makes people feel for people.

374. That's what it lacks.

375. This is a lousy place to work.

376. Then I'll spare you further suffering.

377. You're discharged.

378. I've been expecting that.

379. Actually, I've been wanting it.

380. I can't work here anymore.

381. It's too darn lonely.

382. And another thing, Mr. Whipple,

383. to do with equipment checks

384. and preventative maintenance?

385. It might be a good idea if you ran

386. an equipment check on yourself!

387. Equipment check on myself!

388. What insufferable rot!

389. Equipment check on myself!

390. Did it occur to you

391. that you're trading efficiency for pride?

392. When you're dead and buried

393. who will mourn for you?

394. I think it might be a good idea

395. if you ran an equipment check... on yourself!

396. Hanley: Did it occur to you that you're trading efficiency for pride?

397. Dickerson: When you're dead and buried who will mourn for you?

398. Technician: I think it might be a good idea

399. if you ran an equipment check... on yourself!

400. I think it might be a good idea

401. if you ran an equipment check... on yourself!

402. Did it occur to you that you're trading efficiency for pride?

403. When you're dead and buried who will mourn for you?

404. What'll it be Mr. Whipple?

405. Beer, please.

406. To other days, Mr. Hanley.

407. And to other toasts.

408. I'll drink to that, Mr. Whipple.

409. How are you finding retirement?

410. Oh, tolerable, Mr. Whipple, tolerable.

411. I manage to... I manage to keep busy

412. not as much as I'd like

413. my wife says I'm underfoot, but I do all right.

414. But you know, it's kind of nice to sleep late in the mornings.

415. It's important. Uh... This retirement, I mean.

416. Very important.

417. A man should have time for leisure when he grows older.

418. It's important he have time for leisure.

419. That's so, Mr. Whipple.

420. You know, when the board of directors

421. first indicated to me

422. that they thought I was somewhat overtired,

423. should relinquish some of my responsibilities,

424. well, if the truth were known, Mr. Hanley,

425. I did feel some sort of antipathy for them,

426. but, uh, they were right.

427. They were quite right, you know.

428. But with the perspective of time,

429. I realized they'd moved me out of there.

430. I'm not married, you know,

431. and things get a little dull.

432. Well, no, not, not dull, really.

433. I, uh, I manage to keep myself busy

434. but there are times

435. when I wish... when I

436. it's not right, Hanley.

437. It's-it's not right.

438. Cold, dispassionate, impersonal

439. they-they Chuck a man out right in his prime.

440. Chuck him out like he was some kind of a part.

441. Said I was neurotic about things.

442. Said that being alone

443. with the machines had warped me.

444. That was the expression they used... "Warped."

445. It's not fair, Hanley.

446. It's not fair.

447. A man has value.

448. A man has worth.

449. They just snap their fingers, and they bring in a replacement.

450. They just bring in a replacement.

451. It, it isn't fair, Hanley.

452. It, it isn't fair, the way they diminish US.

453. There are many bromides applicable here.

454. Too much of a good thing,

455. tiger by the tail,

456. as you sow, so shall ye reap.

457. The point is that too often.

458. Man becomes clever instead of becoming wise,

459. he becomes inventive, but not thoughtful.

460. And sometimes, as in the case of Mr. Whipple,

461. he can create himself right out of existence.

462. Tonight's tale of oddness and obsolescence.

463. From the Twilight Zone.

464. And now, Mr. Serling.

465. On the Twilight Zone next trip,

466. we move into the area of authentic folk singing.

467. But this is folk singing

468. like you've probably never heard before.

469. The words and the music in this item are haunting indeed

470. and this one provides one of the more odd excursions

471. into the places of shadow.

472. Gary Crosby and Bonnie Beecher

473. star in a most unusual tale by Anthony Wilson.

474. It's called "come wander with me."