1. You unlock this door
with the key of imagination.Copy !req
2. Beyond it is another dimensionCopy !req
3. a dimension of sound,Copy !req
4. a dimension of sight,Copy !req
5. a dimension of mind.Copy !req
6. You're moving into a land
of both shadow and substance,Copy !req
7. of things and ideas.Copy !req
8. You've just crossed over
into the Twilight Zone.Copy !req
9. Whoa.Copy !req
10. What's your pleasure, sir?Copy !req
11. Cold beer.Copy !req
12. Cold beer, she is.Copy !req
13. That'll be a nickel.Copy !req
14. It's a lovely little town.Copy !req
15. What's that?Copy !req
16. I was just remarking about your town.Copy !req
17. It's a beautiful, peaceful
little place you've got here.Copy !req
18. It's the name that really gets me.Copy !req
19. Happiness, Arizona.Copy !req
20. Yeah, that's what she's calledCopy !req
21. Happiness, Arizona.Copy !req
22. Let's see, she's been called thatCopy !req
23. about ten months now.Copy !req
24. Oh! What was she called before that?Copy !req
25. Called before that?Copy !req
26. Oh, various things.Copy !req
27. Satan's stage stop.Copy !req
28. Dead man's junction.Copy !req
29. Boothill village, you passed it.Copy !req
30. Boothill Town cemetery.Copy !req
31. 128 people buried there.Copy !req
32. Every one of them shot to deathCopy !req
33. except one who died of natural causes.Copy !req
34. Well, that's life.Copy !req
35. Ah, this town wasn't
a fit place to live in.Copy !req
36. Wasn't a nightCopy !req
37. you wouldn't have to
step over a dead body.Copy !req
38. That a fact?Copy !req
39. All of them shooting every night.Copy !req
40. There were more citizens biting the dustCopy !req
41. than there was attending
Sunday services.Copy !req
42. Ah, do tell.Copy !req
43. And then, do you know what happened?Copy !req
44. I can't even begin to guess.Copy !req
45. Exactly-town took stock of itself.Copy !req
46. Got itself a real effective sheriff.Copy !req
47. Put the kibosh on firearms.Copy !req
48. Built itself a jail and
a gallows, enforced the law.Copy !req
49. Next thing you knowCopy !req
50. Happiness, Arizona!Copy !req
51. Where a man can walk down the streetCopy !req
52. and have himself a drinkCopy !req
53. without having to check the mirrorCopy !req
54. and see who's gunning after him.Copy !req
55. Now, that's progress, mister.Copy !req
56. Well, it's this kind of thingCopy !req
57. that kind of brings tears to my eyes.Copy !req
58. Oh, now, you don't have to be scaredCopy !req
59. to show any emotion, sir.Copy !req
60. I know the feeling.Copy !req
61. Been living with killing and violenceCopy !req
62. all your life, and then suddenlyCopy !req
63. it's kind of likeCopy !req
64. it's kind of like the sun
coming over a dark cloudCopy !req
65. and shining on you with its
warm rays of beneficence.Copy !req
66. I do a little preaching on the side too.Copy !req
67. What's your line, sir?Copy !req
68. My... my line?Copy !req
69. What do you do?Copy !req
70. I'm on the road a good deal of the time.Copy !req
71. Selling!Copy !req
72. In a manner of speaking.Copy !req
73. Services are my supply.Copy !req
74. Services?Copy !req
75. Well, what sort of services?Copy !req
76. Maybe I can throw a
little business your way.Copy !req
77. You might at that.Copy !req
78. This is a town that could use me.Copy !req
79. What sort of servicesCopy !req
80. you supplying?Copy !req
81. I bring back the dead.Copy !req
82. Introducing Mr. Jared Garrity,
a gentleman of commerceCopy !req
83. who in the latter half of the
19th century plied his tradeCopy !req
84. in the wild and wooly hinterlandsCopy !req
85. of the American west.Copy !req
86. And Mr. Garrity, if one can believe him,Copy !req
87. is a resurrector of the dead,
which on the face of itCopy !req
88. certainly sounds like the bull
is off the nickel.Copy !req
89. But to the scoffers amongst you,Copy !req
90. and you ladies and gentlemen
from Missouri,Copy !req
91. don't laugh this one off entirely,Copy !req
92. at least until you've seen
a sample of Mr. Garrity's waresCopy !req
93. and an example of his services.Copy !req
94. The place is Happiness, Arizona,Copy !req
95. the time about 1890,Copy !req
96. and you and I have just entered
a saloon where the bar whiskeyCopy !req
97. is brewed, bottled and delivered
from the Twilight Zone.Copy !req
98. What'd he say his name was?Copy !req
99. He didn't say.Copy !req
100. He's got a sign on his wagon.Copy !req
101. It says Garrity.Copy !req
102. That could be his name.Copy !req
103. By golly, that's deduction.Copy !req
104. You know why we got law and orderCopy !req
105. in this town?Copy !req
106. Because we've got a sheriffCopy !req
107. that uses scientific deduction.Copy !req
108. I wish I'd thought of that.Copy !req
109. You know, if you don't know
a fella's name,Copy !req
110. you just look at his wagon.Copy !req
111. Well, now, that's really no great shakeCopy !req
112. of a deduction, Lapham,Copy !req
113. but it does point up the factCopy !req
114. you can't stop thinking on this job.Copy !req
115. It's really kind of a think,
think, think proposition.Copy !req
116. Now some men depend on this
all the timeCopy !req
117. when they should be using
the old... the old bean.Copy !req
118. By golly, nobody could be righter.Copy !req
119. And when you use the head
instead of the gun,Copy !req
120. you save money on bullets
and burials and labor.Copy !req
121. Now he said what to you, Jensen?Copy !req
122. Oh, he said he could
bring back the dead.Copy !req
123. Well, that's what he said his line wasCopy !req
124. "bringing back the dead."Copy !req
125. Tell you, I almost
keeled back in my tracks.Copy !req
126. Bring back the dead, I'm thinking.Copy !req
127. Well, he's either a lunaticCopy !req
128. or he's trying to gull me.Copy !req
129. That's when I ran over to your officeCopy !req
130. and got you, sheriff.Copy !req
131. Yeah, and when we come back,
he done and left town.Copy !req
132. He probably figured
you'd gone after the sheriffCopy !req
133. and decided to get out of town.Copy !req
134. By golly, that's good reasoning, sheriff.Copy !req
135. That's just what he done.Copy !req
136. He's obviously some sort of a con man.Copy !req
137. And when he saw Jensen here
leave the saloon,Copy !req
138. he knew he was going for the lawman.Copy !req
139. So, uh, he felt he was in trouble,Copy !req
140. and he got out of town.Copy !req
141. Now that's a very fine piece of deduction.Copy !req
142. Except hows come he left his wagon?Copy !req
143. Gooberman, you're a very
embarrassing man to have around.Copy !req
144. Why do you want to ask a
question like that for?Copy !req
145. "Hows come he left his wagon?"Copy !req
146. "Hows come he left his wagon?"Copy !req
147. How come he did leave his wagon?Copy !req
148. Sheriff?Copy !req
149. Way I figure it,Copy !req
150. he probably didn't get
out of town after all.Copy !req
151. The way I figure it,Copy !req
152. he probably checked into
the hotel or something.Copy !req
153. By golly, sheriff, you're exactly right.Copy !req
154. That's just what he done.Copy !req
155. You've got a job here
for the rest of your lifeCopy !req
156. if I've got anything to do with it.Copy !req
157. Jensen,Copy !req
158. give the sheriff a drink on me.Copy !req
159. You're a real sport, Lapham.Copy !req
160. That's real kind of you, Lapham,
real kind of you.Copy !req
161. Real kind of you.Copy !req
162. Here's to Lapham.Copy !req
163. Sheriff.Copy !req
164. You're, uh... you're Mr. Garrity?Copy !req
165. That's my family name.Copy !req
166. Is that your wagon outside?Copy !req
167. Yep, that's my wagon.Copy !req
168. Says garrity on it?Copy !req
169. That's my family name.Copy !req
170. Well, Mr. Jensen here saysCopy !req
171. that you bring back the dead.Copy !req
172. Now, that's a figure of speech, ain't it?Copy !req
173. You don't actually bring back the dead.Copy !req
174. On the contrary, that's exactly
what I do-bring back the dead.Copy !req
175. Well, now, you wouldn't mind telling usCopy !req
176. how you go about doing this, would you?Copy !req
177. Well, now, sheriff, no offenseCopy !req
178. uh, bartender, please,Copy !req
179. but it's kind of like a
professional trade secretCopy !req
180. kind of like a magician.Copy !req
181. Now, he doesn't tell
how he does his tricksCopy !req
182. and I don't tell how I bring back the dead,Copy !req
183. but I do.Copy !req
184. The fact is, I heard
about your town here.Copy !req
185. 128 dead in booth ill up there.Copy !req
186. Happiness, Arizona,Copy !req
187. with the biggest cemetery
west of ChicagoCopy !req
188. and all of them departing the earthCopy !req
189. with unspeakable violence.Copy !req
190. All but one.Copy !req
191. And that was my dear wife, Zelda,Copy !req
192. rest her soul.Copy !req
193. A fine healthy strapping
woman of 247 pounds,Copy !req
194. but not unattractive, mind you,Copy !req
195. and suddenly I lost her.Copy !req
196. And that's why I drinkCopy !req
197. from a broken heart.Copy !req
198. How much loss can a man stand?Copy !req
199. Killed him, poor little tyke,
ran right under my wagon.Copy !req
200. Must have struck him
alongside of the head.Copy !req
201. Hasn't got a mark on him,
but he's sure dead.Copy !req
202. Well, it's accidental animal homicide.Copy !req
203. Well, that's decent of you, sheriff.Copy !req
204. No fine or nothing?Copy !req
205. No fine.Copy !req
206. You obviously couldn't help it.Copy !req
207. Anybody know who the dog belongs to?Copy !req
208. Stray is what it is.Copy !req
209. I never seen it before.Copy !req
210. I'll take him out and bury him.Copy !req
211. Ladies and gentlemen!Copy !req
212. The proof of the pudding is in the eatingCopy !req
213. and the proof of the service
is in the performing.Copy !req
214. Hallelujah!Copy !req
215. Now that dog is certainly dead, is it not?Copy !req
216. And gentlemen, I shall return itCopy !req
217. to the land of the living.Copy !req
218. I shall resurrect that dog.Copy !req
219. Now, please, stand back all of you.Copy !req
220. Oh, I want to ask you one thing.Copy !req
221. In order that I might
perform the operationCopy !req
222. completely and satisfactorily,Copy !req
223. would you all turn around so
that you're not watching me.Copy !req
224. If you don't mind, please.Copy !req
225. Eureka!Copy !req
226. Oh, you good dog.Copy !req
227. Oh, you good dog!Copy !req
228. There we go.Copy !req
229. Look at him go!Copy !req
230. My dear friends, ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
231. citizenry of Happiness, Arizona,Copy !req
232. it is with no small degree of pleasureCopy !req
233. that I stand hereCopy !req
234. on this quaint picturesque main streetCopy !req
235. performing what I might modestly claimCopy !req
236. as an accomplishment
of some dimension.Copy !req
237. As you have all seen,Copy !req
238. I have just brought a dog back to life.Copy !req
239. It's devil's work!Copy !req
240. Black magic is what it is.Copy !req
241. It is not black magic and not devil's work.Copy !req
242. It is the application
of scientific principlesCopy !req
243. which I have picked up over the yearsCopy !req
244. while traveling exclusively
in the Himalayan mountains.Copy !req
245. What I did for that dog I can do
for your loved onesCopy !req
246. may their souls rest in peace-
momentarily.Copy !req
247. You mean, you can bring
back my Zelda?Copy !req
248. And my former partner?Copy !req
249. And my late husband?Copy !req
250. Tonight, dear friends, tonight at midnight,Copy !req
251. happiness will reign
in Happiness, Arizona.Copy !req
252. The dead will be returned to you.Copy !req
253. H-he's still up at the cemetery.Copy !req
254. He's been there four hours now.Copy !req
255. That place freezes my
insides at high noonCopy !req
256. with the sun shining down.Copy !req
257. Imagine how it is after dark.Copy !req
258. I don't like the proceedings.Copy !req
259. I believe when you're dead, you're dead.Copy !req
260. Imagine my little blossom,Copy !req
261. my own Zelda.Copy !req
262. All those lonely days and lonely weeksCopy !req
263. and tonight at midnight,
she comes back to me.Copy !req
264. Good evening, gentlemen.Copy !req
265. Good evening to you all.Copy !req
266. Whiskey, please.Copy !req
267. You know, the cosmic impulses
tonight are incredible.Copy !req
268. Absolutely incredible!Copy !req
269. I have just been up on booth ill.Copy !req
270. All finished up there now?Copy !req
271. All finished.Copy !req
272. Now they'll all come filing
down any moment now.Copy !req
273. Ahead of schedule, too.Copy !req
274. I hadn't gone five minutes
into the ceremonyCopy !req
275. before the earth started to heave.Copy !req
276. Some mighty anxious folks up there.Copy !req
277. Mighty anxious.Copy !req
278. Ah, but it'd do your heart good
to see them wiggling aroundCopy !req
279. under the sod, just like some happy coltsCopy !req
280. raring to face life again.Copy !req
281. That's your beloved brother,Copy !req
282. isn't it, Mr. Jensen?Copy !req
283. Uh, John, he was killed
by accident last march.Copy !req
284. We had a gunfight in here and
he got hit by a stray bullet.Copy !req
285. The same size and shape as youCopy !req
286. with a kind of a limp?Copy !req
287. Uh.Copy !req
288. How did you know?Copy !req
289. Your brother was the last man
buried, Mr. Jensen,Copy !req
290. and the last buried are the first onesCopy !req
291. who'll be coming back down.Copy !req
292. Coming back down?Copy !req
293. Ha! I believe that's him coming now.Copy !req
294. Mr. JensenCopy !req
295. it's your own beloved brother JohnCopy !req
296. and a more decent, honorable citizenCopy !req
297. never pulled a cork
from a bottle, so I'm told.Copy !req
298. Mr. Garrity, he was a
lowdown thieving skunk.Copy !req
299. He spent more time tapping
the till and stealing whiskeyCopy !req
300. than he did waiting on customers.Copy !req
301. You dishonor the man.Copy !req
302. And here he returns to you
from the grave.Copy !req
303. And after that unfortunate,
accidental bulletCopy !req
304. that caught him
between the shoulder blades.Copy !req
305. Mr. Garrity.Copy !req
306. What do you chargeCopy !req
307. to bring back these dead people?Copy !req
308. Room and board, but my
major source of incomeCopy !req
309. is the pleasure I deriveCopy !req
310. bringing happiness to my fellow man.Copy !req
311. Well, how would you like to increaseCopy !req
312. that source of income?Copy !req
313. You'll have to speak a bit plainer.Copy !req
314. What would it take to
put my brother back?Copy !req
315. No, that would be a difficult procedure.Copy !req
316. You see, Mr. Jensen,Copy !req
317. after the resurrection has taken placeCopy !req
318. it requires a maximum effortCopy !req
319. to make them die all over again.Copy !req
320. Well, would $100 help the effort?Copy !req
321. Shall we say $1,000?Copy !req
322. Well, what does 500 do for you?Copy !req
323. It warms me a little
but I still feel drafty.Copy !req
324. Let's settle for, uh... 750, shall we?Copy !req
325. It's a deal.Copy !req
326. He disappeared!Copy !req
327. He just plain disappeared!Copy !req
328. He came walking towards usCopy !req
329. and I would have bet moneyCopy !req
330. it was your brother John.Copy !req
331. And he was walking towards usCopy !req
332. and then he plumb disappeared!Copy !req
333. That's life.Copy !req
334. But now don't fret, friends.Copy !req
335. He'll be followed by all the others.Copy !req
336. All the others?Copy !req
337. Including your beloved wife.Copy !req
338. Your lonely hours are over.Copy !req
339. Your Zelda will soon be back with youCopy !req
340. to bring back your peace of mind.Copy !req
341. No disrespect, uhCopy !req
342. what I mean is that Zelda was
the flower of all womanhoodCopy !req
343. but on six different occasionsCopy !req
344. she broke my left arm and
this poor thing was in a castCopy !req
345. so many times that I developed a list.Copy !req
346. Your point, Mr. Gooberman.Copy !req
347. Oh, I would hate to disturb Zelda's restCopy !req
348. so how much would it
cost to put her back?Copy !req
349. Oh, that's a difficult
assignment, Mr. Gooberman.Copy !req
350. UhCopy !req
351. $500.Copy !req
352. For me it was $750!Copy !req
353. I'm ashamed.Copy !req
354. I'm truly ashamed.Copy !req
355. Your own dear brother.Copy !req
356. And you, gooberman, your dear wife.Copy !req
357. As a public official of this
town, I apologize for these men.Copy !req
358. I am humiliated.Copy !req
359. Nothing less than humiliated!Copy !req
360. I don't blame you a bit, sheriff.Copy !req
361. And I could perceive immediatelyCopy !req
362. that you're made of sterner stuff.Copy !req
363. You're not quaking in your bootsCopy !req
364. because lightning PetersonCopy !req
365. will be one of the departed
returning this night.Copy !req
366. Lightning Peterson!Copy !req
367. You killed him yourself,Copy !req
368. didn't you, sheriff?Copy !req
369. He was the fastest gunCopy !req
370. in the territory.Copy !req
371. Balderdash.Copy !req
372. I say balderdash!Copy !req
373. "Lightning" Peterson.Copy !req
374. You killed him once, sheriff,
in an honest showdownCopy !req
375. and if he hasn't learned from thatCopy !req
376. well, you can do it again.Copy !req
377. Something, sheriff?Copy !req
378. You're going to resurrect that gunman?Copy !req
379. Well, it was a mass operation.Copy !req
380. As a matter of fact, sheriff,Copy !req
381. it will give you a marvelous opportunityCopy !req
382. to dispel those ugly rumors I heardCopy !req
383. that you actually shot
Peterson in the backCopy !req
384. late at nightCopy !req
385. when he was alone and unarmedCopy !req
386. and you had six deputies
alongside of you.Copy !req
387. Seven.Copy !req
388. Now, I know that you faced up
to him in broad daylightCopy !req
389. but this will give you an
opportunity to shoot him down,Copy !req
390. if need be, face-to-face.Copy !req
391. Well, now, the fact is, Mr. Garrity,Copy !req
392. I don't think that Peterson
should be resurrected.Copy !req
393. ActuallyCopy !req
394. he's a menace to society.Copy !req
395. The fact is, sheriffCopy !req
396. he's already on his way down.Copy !req
397. I don't mind facing up to himCopy !req
398. but why go to all that trouble?Copy !req
399. Uh.Copy !req
400. Would, uh, you think $500Copy !req
401. would keep him back up there?Copy !req
402. Lightning Peterson?Copy !req
403. You do him an injustice, sheriff.Copy !req
404. He was quite a lad with the gunCopy !req
405. and mighty active at that.Copy !req
406. No, no, no, this will be a $1,200 job.Copy !req
407. Sold.Copy !req
408. Jensen, a whole bottle please.Copy !req
409. Happen to see a scrawny
little man out there,Copy !req
410. kinda gimlet-eyed.Copy !req
411. His name?Copy !req
412. Perkins. Ephraim Perkins.Copy !req
413. Relative? Ex-husband.Copy !req
414. And no tighter man
ever squeezed a silver dollar.Copy !req
415. And the thing of it is, I'm married again.Copy !req
416. And if the truth be known,Copy !req
417. I never did care for Ephraim
while he was livingCopy !req
418. and I don't see why I should
go through it all again.Copy !req
419. What would I do with two husbands?Copy !req
420. A hundred dollars?Copy !req
421. Five, madam.Copy !req
422. Five? Mm.Copy !req
423. My father-in-lawCopy !req
424. my father-in-law's a big man,Copy !req
425. asked to be buried with a bullwhip.Copy !req
426. There's just no reason why he shouldCopy !req
427. no, no, no.Copy !req
428. Oh, thank you, thank you.Copy !req
429. My wife looked very prettyCopy !req
430. when she was buried.Copy !req
431. Couldn't we keep her that way?Copy !req
432. Five.Copy !req
433. The rest of you just
put your names here.Copy !req
434. The amount's $500.Copy !req
435. Thank you.Copy !req
436. Five.Copy !req
437. Whoa.Copy !req
438. Come on, boy!Copy !req
439. Come on, spot, come on!Copy !req
440. Come on, spot, come here!Copy !req
441. Oh, you nice, nice puppy.Copy !req
442. Oh, you're a nice dog.Copy !req
443. I got a big bone in the wagon for you.Copy !req
444. Your reward for playing dead.Copy !req
445. You're late!Copy !req
446. Oh, ace, I couldn't help it.Copy !req
447. This town is the ripest pear
we ever plucked.Copy !req
448. They couldn't get rid of
their moneybags fast enough.Copy !req
449. What was the take?Copy !req
450. Considerably more than you
earned on the stage, dear boy.Copy !req
451. Played my part uncommonly well.Copy !req
452. Uncommonly.Copy !req
453. I've been checking over the itinerary.Copy !req
454. Our next stop is Tucson.Copy !req
455. We'll get a good night's sleep,Copy !req
456. you go in there in the morning,
get a line on the place.Copy !req
457. We'll see which of the dear departedCopy !req
458. you can imitate tomorrow night.Copy !req
459. Real sorry, friends,Copy !req
460. that I couldn't perform
what I laid claim to,Copy !req
461. so rest in peace, all of you.Copy !req
462. Let's go.Copy !req
463. Old spot, now come on over here.Copy !req
464. There you go.Copy !req
465. You sit here.Copy !req
466. The man don't do himself justice.Copy !req
467. The actor that played you
wasn't worth a darn.Copy !req
468. But that there garrityCopy !req
469. sure can do a job of resurrecting.Copy !req
470. I can't wait to get back into town.Copy !req
471. I've got a lot of
drinking to catch up with.Copy !req
472. There's a yellow skunk of a sheriffCopy !req
473. I aim to settle a score with, too.Copy !req
474. And there's a little pipsqueakCopy !req
475. of a sot just waiting to get his arm brokeCopy !req
476. and I'm just the gal that can do itCopy !req
477. or my name ain't Zelda gooberman.Copy !req
478. Exit Mr. Garrity, a would-be charlatan,Copy !req
479. a make-believe con manCopy !req
480. and a sad misjudger of his own talents.Copy !req
481. Respectfully submitted
from an empty cemeteryCopy !req
482. on a dark hillsideCopy !req
483. that is one of the slopes
leading to the Twilight Zone.Copy !req
484. And now, Mr. Serling.Copy !req
485. The subject next time is automation.Copy !req
486. Our area of concern:Copy !req
487. The replacement of men by machines.Copy !req
488. It happens to be not only a
current industrial phenomenonCopy !req
489. but potentially a sizable can of peas,Copy !req
490. that, once opened, carries with itCopy !req
491. some very special story material.Copy !req
492. On the Twilight Zone next time,
we open that can of peasCopy !req
493. and present a battle between
the men and the machines.Copy !req
494. Richard Deacon and Paul Newlan star inCopy !req
495. "The brain center at Whipple’s."Copy !req