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2. You unlock this door
with the key of imagination.
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3. Beyond it is another dimension-
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4. a dimension of sound,
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5. a dimension of sight,
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6. a dimension of mind.
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7. You're moving into a land
of both shadow and substance,
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8. of things and ideas.
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9. You've just crossed over
into the twilight zone.
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10. Yes, sir, we'll get
that information to you
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11. as quickly as possible.
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12. I understand.
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13. Supervisor's office.
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14. It's cape kennedy.
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15. I'm sorry, colonel.
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16. We're still trying
to get agnes working.
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17. Call us tomorrow.
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18. Yes, sir.
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19. Yes, mr. Secretary.
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20. The minute the machine
is back in shape.
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21. Good-bye, sir.
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22. Why hasn't
elwood gotten here?
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23. He's on his way.
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24. Well, thank heaven
for small favors.
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25. Good morning, sir.
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26. Elwood, something urgent
has come up
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27. and I need your help.
Yes, sir.
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28. Agnes has broken down
completely.
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29. We've checked her
thoroughly.
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30. We can't seem
to locate the trouble.
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31. Probably her subroutines
need debugging.
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32. That's what I want you
to find out.
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33. Suppose we take a look.
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34. Fred.
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35. All week.
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36. Day and night.
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37. No sleep,
no food.
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38. I've tried everything...
everything.
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39. It's all right, fred,
it's all right.
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40. Are you taking over agnes?
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41. What happened, fred?
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42. Why don't you see for yourself!
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43. That'll get you nowhere.
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44. Press all her buttons
from now to doomsday.
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45. That's not going to help you.
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46. She's been out of her mind
for a week.
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47. I tell you,
nothing's going to help.
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48. Go on,
press 'em, press 'em!
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49. Remarkable.
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50. State the first
prime number
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51. larger than
the 17th root
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52. of
9,000,355,126,606.
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53. That's right.
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54. Congratulations,
elwood.
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55. You did it, you did it.
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56. You really think you did it,
don't you?
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57. No, agnes did it.
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58. Agnes.
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59. Watch out for that female.
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60. Look out
for that femme fatale.
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61. James elwood, master
programmer.
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62. In charge of mark 502-741,
commonly known as agnes,
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63. the world's most advanced
electronic computer.
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64. Machines are made by men
for man's benefit and progress.
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65. But when man ceases to control
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66. the products of his ingenuity
and imagination
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67. he not only risks
losing the benefit...
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68. he takes a long
and unpredictable step
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69. into the twilight zone.
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70. Indicate maximum
permissible velocity
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71. of the stated
aerodynamic missile.
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72. Millie!
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73. Here are the latest statistics,
mr. Elwood.
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74. Thank you.
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75. Did you hear about
my newest assignment?
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76. Yes, of course.
Congratulations.
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77. She's the greatest brain
of the century.
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78. She beat the world's chess
champion four games out of five.
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79. She's the foremost
expert on missile
ballistics.
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80. She can solve logistics problems
in less than a millisecond flat.
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81. Of course,
I tell her what to do.
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82. Oh, how satisfying for you,
mr. Elwood.
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83. Say, millie...
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84. um, uh, could you, uh, could we,
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85. could you have lunch with me
sometime?
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86. Oh, why, thank you, mr. Elwood.
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87. I, I really must be
getting back now.
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88. Uh, millie?
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89. Why don't you call me jim?
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90. All right... jim.
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91. She called me jim.
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92. Hello, millie.
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93. Uh...
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94. half chocolate-covered
cherries, half marshmallows.
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95. Oh, how sweet
of you
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96. but I started
my diet today.
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97. No lunches either.
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98. How about dinner?
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99. There's a lecture
on thermodynamics tonight.
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100. Doesn't that sound like fun?
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101. Yeah, I'll let you know later.
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102. Oh, jim?
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103. Be sure and
get a refund.
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104. Hello,
mr. Elwood.
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105. Are you
on a diet?
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106. Me?
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107. Not tonight.
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108. Tomorrow night?
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109. About 7:00?
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110. Oh, thank you, millie.
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111. Good-bye.
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112. There's no lecture
tomorrow night.
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113. Where can I take her
after dinner?
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114. Planetarium.
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115. She's been there.
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116. State magnitude
of radiative correction.
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117. I have stated the problem.
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118. State magnitude
of radiative correction.
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119. Answer, please.
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120. I've asked
an important question.
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121. Stick to the subject.
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122. Listen, you may be
an oracle of wisdom
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123. when it comes to atoms, rockets
and missiles,
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124. but I don't need an electronic
brain to advise me.
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125. All right.
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126. Tell me where to take millie
after dinner tomorrow night.
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127. No!
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128. From me?
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129. Millie's not
that kind of a girl.
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130. Are you sure?
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131. The interpretation is that
einstein's theory of relativity
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132. does not postulate the universe
as infinite
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133. but as a closed system
of a spherical type.
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134. Millie?
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135. Here I am,
jim.
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136. Did you
get that?
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137. Millie, I can't read
this chapter to you
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138. without proper lighting.
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139. Couldn't we have
some music, jim?
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140. Well, sure, if you like,
but I thought we might
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141. compare notes on borstein's
treatise on einstein's theory.
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142. Hmm?
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143. Forget einstein
and the universe.
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144. Your universe
is here with me.
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145. Now, stand up.
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146. Come on,
stand up.
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147. Dance, eh?
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148. Listen
to that music.
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149. I used to play trombone
in high school.
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150. Really?
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151. Father played
the tuba.
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152. Confess you feel
something strange.
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153. Yes, I do.
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154. You know why?
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155. Yes, I have
a sore toe.
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156. Oh, you're
impossible.
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157. I'm sorry, millie.
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158. I, I, I wasn't thinking.
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159. Uh, champagne, huh?
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160. Elwood!
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161. You're an idiot.
I'm sorry.
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162. I'm sorry,
I'll get a towel.
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163. Don't bother,
you've done enough already.
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164. Thank you for dinner,
I'll see you tomorrow.
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165. Good night!
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166. Millie, I'm sorry...
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167. let me explain...
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168. consider series of real numbers
arranged in order of magnitude.
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169. What?
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170. Oh, oh, very... oh, we...
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171. we danced and drank champagne
until dawn...
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172. and we took this taxi ride
all around the park.
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173. And, uh...
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174. oh, it's no use.
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175. I'm a dud.
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176. I can't even dance.
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177. I spilled champagne
all over millie.
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178. I've always been shy with women.
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179. Now she's angry,
she'll never speak to me again.
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180. What kind of flowers?
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181. Translate, please.
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182. Oh, thank you, agnes.
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183. You're just like a mother.
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184. Gesundheit.
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185. I'm sorry
about last night, millie.
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186. It won't happen again.
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187. I'm glad
you like the roses.
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188. Say, are you catching cold?
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189. L-I'm aller...
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190. allergic to roses.
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191. Oh, millie.
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192. Elwood, just please, go away.
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193. And take these roses
with you.
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194. Gesundheit.
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195. Agnes, I don't understand.
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196. No other computer contains
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197. as much recorded knowledge
as yours.
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198. You're the star
of all the mechanical brains.
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199. But...
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200. whenever I follow your advice
I seem to louse things up.
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201. Agnes, what's the matter?
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202. Agnes, stop that.
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203. Stop it.
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204. That's ridiculous,
she's a wonderful girl.
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205. Better girl? Who?
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206. Who, agnes?
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207. Agnes, tell me who.
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208. Agnes, who?
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209. Who is it? Who?
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210. Who, agnes? Who is it?
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211. Agnes? Who?
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212. Here are 220 pages
of data, curves, graphs,
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213. the latest astronomical factors
involving the flight.
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214. Now feed all the pertinent
questions to agnes.
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215. She has to come up with answers
in a week.
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216. I guarantee it.
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217. And remember,
an error of one millisecond
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218. can cause a 400,000 mile
divergence from the trajectory.
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219. Do you understand
the problem, jim?
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220. Yes. Can this
new spacecraft
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221. execute six
eccentric orbits
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222. around the planet venus
and return to earth safely.
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223. Right. Now let agnes
work it out.
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224. Yes, sir.
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225. You better be careful here,
agnes.
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226. Better correct escape velocity
for solar radiation factor.
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227. Give answer.
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228. Now, stop that.
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229. Just give the escape velocity
and forget about millie.
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230. Yes, yes,
we've got a date tonight.
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231. The truth is I'm scared.
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232. I've got to impress her-
it's now or never.
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233. How?
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234. Name someone inferior
to me, please.
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235. Walter holmes?
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236. Walter with the red sports car?
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237. Walter with the suntan
and the muscles?
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238. Introduce walter and millie?
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239. Are you sure?
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240. Oh, all right, I'll try it.
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241. Hello, walter,
this is jim elwood.
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242. What are you doing
for dinner tonight?
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243. He insisted
that we stop by
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244. for a drink
before dinner.
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245. Come in.
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246. Walter,
this is millie.
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247. Millie,
this is walter.
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248. Elwood,
you didn't tell me
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249. millie has the most
incredible eyes.
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250. Tell you?
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251. Thank you,
walter.
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252. Come on in,
come on in.
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253. I'll get the door.
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254. Nectar for a goddess.
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255. Looks just like
an ordinary martini to me.
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256. It is nectar.
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257. All this time at superdata
and we've never met.
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258. Shall we make up
for lost time?
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259. You bet.
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260. Do you like
sports car races?
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261. I've never been to one.
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262. I'm driving
my mustang 500 this weekend.
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263. Sounds dangerous.
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264. Danger adds spice
to living
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265. and my car does 160.
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266. Astronauts do 17,000
miles an hour.
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267. 17,000.
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268. Would you like to drive
my little bug?
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269. I'd love to.
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270. Hello.
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271. Oh, hello t.t.
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272. Yes, he's here,
hold on.
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273. Supervisor, for you.
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274. Hello.
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275. Sorry to spoil your evening,
jim, but this is an emergency.
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276. Washington insists
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277. that blast off of venus project
be advanced three days.
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278. We need your data.
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279. Right.
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280. Can you get on it right away?
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281. Good.
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282. See you in an hour.
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283. Right, good-bye.
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284. I'm sorry, millie,
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285. but I have to get
back on the job.
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286. I'll have to
take you home.
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287. And deprive me
of taking millie to dinner?
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288. That sounds lovely.
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289. Well, really, you...
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290. just because
you get hung up,
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291. you don't want
to ruin millie's evening,
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292. do you, old man?
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293. No, but...
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294. good!
You're a nice guy.
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295. I hope you understand, jim.
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296. Perhaps tomorrow night.
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297. Yeah... sure.
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298. Well, good night.
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299. Uh, excuse me.
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300. Uh, elwood?
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301. Uh, say, elwood, uh,
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302. you and mill don't
have anything special
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303. going for you, do you?
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304. "Mill"?
Millie.
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305. Well, no, not exactly,
but I...
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306. fine. Fine.
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307. I don't like to cut in
on closed territory.
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308. Thanks for the all clear.
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309. Good night.
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310. And good luck.
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311. Now, uh, where
were we, mill?
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312. No, no, no!
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313. Agnes, forget
the radiation factor.
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314. Will you concentrate?
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315. Now answer this:
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316. Do new conditions permit
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317. six successful eccentric orbits
of venus and reentry?
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318. Go ahead.
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319. Agnes, concentrate.
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320. All right, all right,
I'll tell you.
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321. Walter and millie had...
martinis
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322. and walter took millie
to dinner...
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323. I'm starved.
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324. Why did you tell me
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325. to introduce millie to that...
that sex fiend?
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326. I will not give her up,
I love her!
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327. And what's more, and I'm going
to make her love me.
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328. Has all the new data been
stored in her memory units?
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329. Yes, sir.
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330. Fine,
let's get to work.
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331. Ready, jim?
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332. Do new conditions permit
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333. six successful eccentric orbits
of venus and reentry?
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334. What the devil
does that mean?
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335. I... I don't know...
I think it's russian.
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336. What?
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337. Wait, please.
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338. Translate into english.
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339. Into english.
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340. She... she's
a little disturbed.
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341. Do something, jim.
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342. We've got to have
that information.
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343. I believe
I can get the answer, sir,
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344. if you'll just leave me alone
with her.
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345. All right, jim.
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346. I'll be fired-
is that what you want?
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347. I don't know what to do.
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348. I'm going to get help.
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349. Don't go away.
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350. Oh, you.
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351. I know it's late,
but I need help.
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352. Oh, take it easy, old man.
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353. Jimmy boy!
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354. Uh...
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355. walter,
you're a senior programmer.
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356. Agnes is all fouled up.
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357. I need help.
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358. Sure, anything at all,
old boy, in the morning.
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359. That's too late. Now.
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360. And leave this lovely girl
all alone?
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361. Don't be silly.
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362. Don't worry, jim.
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363. Wally will help you
in the morning.
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364. Oh, sure.
Well, good night, millie.
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365. I'm sorry...
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366. where did she ever learn
to dance like that?
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367. Millie...
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368. what did I ever do to you?
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369. Why do you want to ruin my life?
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370. Why do you hate me?
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371. Make sense.
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372. Stop speaking in riddles.
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373. You mean...
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374. you were jealous of millie?
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375. You wanted me all to yourself?
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376. No, that's impossible.
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377. I'm going crazy.
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378. You're just a machine.
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379. You're just a bunch of grids
and computer circuits.
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380. You're nothing but a bunch
of tubes and data drops.
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381. You're just
a fancy automatic tape recorder.
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382. You can't love or hate.
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383. It's amazing, sir.
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384. Jim elwood is one
of the finest
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385. computer programmers
in the country.
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386. So was fred danziger
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387. and he couldn't handle
agnes, either.
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388. I'm positive I can.
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389. Elwood!
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390. Two and two are four,
shut the door.
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391. Two and four are six,
pick up sticks.
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392. It'll be
all right, jim.
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393. You've been working very hard
and we appreciate it.
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394. How about a long,
long leave of absence?
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395. Meanwhile,
walter will take over.
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396. You?
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397. Oh, no, you don't have a chance.
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398. She knows all about
you and millie.
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399. You haven't got
a chance.
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400. Watch out for that female.
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401. Watch out for that femme fatale.
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402. He was a good man.
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403. Well, do your best, walter.
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404. Don't worry, sir,
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405. I'll have the answers
to the venus project
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406. in no time at all.
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407. Advice to all future
male scientists:
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408. Be sure you understand
the opposite sex
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409. especially if you intend
being a computer expert.
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410. Otherwise you may find yourself
like poor elwood,
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411. defeated by a jealous machine,
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412. a most dangerous sort of female
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413. whose victims
are forever banished
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414. to the twilight zone.
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415. And now, mr. Serling.
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416. Next onthe twilight zone,
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417. the stalwart typewriter
of richard matheson
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418. brings us a most intriguing tale
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419. of riders, pale horses
and peeks into the future.
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420. It stars diana hyland
and it concerns itself
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421. with some very unlooked for
and some unpredictable events.
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422. It's called "spur of the moment"
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423. and it's recommended
for those of you
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424. who'd like to take a look
at the next page of the calendar
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425. before it's time.
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426. Ontwilight zonenext,
"spur of the moment."
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