The Twilight Zone 3x29

1. You're traveling through another dimension-

2. a dimension not only of sight and sound, but of mind,

3. a journey into a wondrous land

4. whose boundaries are that of imagination.

5. Your next stop, the twilight zone.

6. Nut.

7. Hello?

8. I'd like to speak to mr. O'connor, please.

9. That's correct.

10. I'd rather not say.

11. It's rather personal.

12. Hello, is this mr. O'connor?

13. Mr. O'connor, you have a man working for you in personnel-

14. a young man named alfred brewster.

15. That's right- been with you about a year and a half.

16. The man's a communist.

17. That's right.

18. The man's a communist, a menace to society-

19. should be discharged immediately.

20. Never mind how I know- I know, that's all.

21. I'm going to check back with you in a few days,

22. and if he's not been discharged,

23. I'm going to take this whole matter to a superior.

24. That's correct.

25. Bye, mr. O'connor.

26. School superintendent, please.

27. Hello, is this the school superintendent?

28. Well, this is a concerned citizen,

29. and this call has to do with a teacher in your employ.

30. His name is...

31. farwell... william j. Farwell-

32. teaches at your north end high school.

33. That's correct.

34. Well, the man is morally objectionable.

35. He's a drinker, a carouser, and I have it on good authority

36. that his relationships with his students

37. are questionable at best.

38. He should be discharged immediately.

39. Well, never mind who this is.

40. I happen to be giving you facts

41. and these facts are what is at issue.

42. Well, you'd best check on him.

43. That... you most certainly should.

44. And immediately- that's... that's correct.

45. A rather full morning's work, wouldn't you say, pete?

46. Eleven names.

47. Of course, it's questionable at best

48. as to what concrete results we can expect,

49. but at least, the seeds have been planted;

50. the opening guns fired; the first attack rendered.

51. Look at them, look at them out there- the dregs, carrion,

52. leeches sucking us dry,

53. carrying evil around with them like cold germs.

54. Well, we're going to have to face it sooner or later, pete.

55. Phone calls are one thing,

56. threats and exposures simply expedients.

57. Oh, no, pete, my old friend,

58. we're going to have to embark

59. on a much more ambitious course

60. and it must be today, pete.

61. It must be this afternoon.

62. 4:00, pete.

63. That's when we'll make it occur.

64. We'll make it occur at 4:00.

65. At that moment, that precise moment,

66. we shall destroy evil.

67. This is both my charge and my obligation, pete,

68. to destroy evil, and we shall do it at 4:00.

69. I'm not quite sure of the method yet,

70. but that will come to me.

71. That will come to me assuredly, and it will be a revelation.

72. It will be the expiration of immorality,

73. the exordium of the end.

74. 4:00, pete, that's when we'll make it happen

75. through whatever form I choose.

76. Four o'clock.

77. That's oliver crangle,

78. a dealer in petulance and poison.

79. He's rather arbitrarily chosen 4:00

80. as his personal gotterdammerung,

81. and we are about to watch

82. the metamorphosis of a twisted fanatic,

83. poisoned by the gangrene of prejudice,

84. to the status of an avenging angel,

85. upright and omniscient, dedicated and fearsome.

86. Whatever your clocks say, it's 4:00-

87. and wherever you are

88. it happens to be the twilight zone.

89. Yes, what is it?

90. There's special delivery stuff for you, mr. Crangle.

91. Well, bring it in- the door's not locked.

92. Something else,

93. was there, mrs. Williams?

94. Something else?

95. No, nothing else.

96. Nothing else, mr. Crangle.

97. You sure get enough mail, anyway.

98. Somebody would think

99. you ran sort of a mail-order business.

100. What I do is none of your concern.

101. I pay my rent on time and I mind my own business.

102. You should learn a respect for privacy.

103. Well, I...

104. well, I nev...!

105. "Well, I...! Well, I...!"

106. Have you any more pertinent remarks to make?

107. If not, then I would be grateful if you left me alone.

108. I have a great deal of work to do.

109. I can believe that.

110. You should,

111. mrs. Williams.

112. You may thank me one day.

113. That is... assuming you're around,

114. and assuming you retain a capacity for appreciation.

115. And what's that supposed to mean-

116. "assuming I'll be around"?

117. Are you threatening me, mr. Crangle?

118. My dear lady, I don't threaten people.

119. I compile them.

120. I compile them and I... investigate them...

121. analyze them.

122. Then I categorize them,

123. and I judge them.

124. If they're impure and evil,

125. then they must be punished.

126. If, on the other hand,

127. they're simply misled or naive

128. or unsophisticated,

129. then I point out to them the right way.

130. Oh, is that...?

131. What I mean is,

132. is that what you do for a living, I mean?

133. Indeed.

134. Here.

135. "Mrs. Chloe williams, age 54, widow;

136. "married to john alistair williams;

137. none;

138. "husband's political none;

139. none;

140. curiosity..."

141. "ignorance."

142. That is merely a preliminary report,

143. mrs. Williams.

144. The research in depth on you

145. is in that master file over there.

146. Nut.

147. All rested up, are you, pete?

148. Had your little nap?

149. That's good, my young man.

150. We're going to have

151. an exciting afternoon.

152. Things are going

153. to happen at 4:00.

154. Indeed they will.

155. What's going to happen at 4:00?

156. What's going to happen indeed?

157. Why, at 4:00, we're going to expose evil-

158. strip it bare, push it out into the light

159. dissect it, pinpoint it,

160. eliminate it, exorcise it,

161. denude it, destroy it!

162. Oh!

163. Something else, was there,

164. mrs. Williams?

165. Uh... uh, no, no, nothing else.

166. I'm looking for a mr. Crangle.

167. I was told he lives here.

168. Oh, yes, with a vengeance he lives here.

169. He lives right up there. That's where he lives.

170. But I tell you, young woman,

171. I wouldn't go in there without police protection.

172. That man's got a leak in his attic

173. a mile wide.

174. Mr. Crangle?

175. Mr. Crangle!

176. Well?

177. My name is lucas.

178. I was wondering

179. if you would speak with me for a moment.

180. Lucas... lucas...

181. ah! Kurt j. Lucas, age 27,

182. intern, east side hospital?

183. That's my husband.

184. Is he indeed?

185. Well, now, your husband, you say.

186. Come in, come in, come in.

187. Please.

188. Now...

189. what about your husband?

190. Why, mr. Crangle,

191. why are you trying to hurt him?

192. What has he ever done to you?

193. To me?

194. Why, nothing to me.

195. That is, nothing personally.

196. I don't know your husband.

197. I knowofhim.

198. I know of his background, but we've never met.

199. He's a stranger then to you, isn't he?

200. He's a perfect stranger.

201. A stranger, yes,

202. but not a perfect stranger.

203. As a matter of fact, your husband, mrs. Lucas,

204. happens to be most... imperfect.

205. And when you observe

206. that he has done nothing to me,

207. let me hasten to illuminate you on this.

208. He has done a lot against society.

209. My husband, for your information,

210. is a dedicated young doctor.

211. He has only one abiding interest

212. and that is to heal, to stop pain.

213. And to kill!

214. That's his other abiding interest

215. that you have conveniently skipped.

216. L, l, l, l, l, l, l, l...

217. l-u... l-u-c... here we are.

218. "Lucas,

219. "kurt j., m.d., second-year intern

220. east side hospital."

221. These facts came to my attention.

222. "On the night of march 12, 1961,

223. "while serving in the emergency ward

224. "he permitted the death of one mrs. Angela rienti

225. "by failing to relieve pressure

226. "resulting of a brain injury

227. from a traffic accident."

228. It was too late-

229. he got to her too late.

230. He was taking care of half a ward,

231. and when he got to her, she was already dead.

232. He should have gotten to her earlier.

233. That's about the size of it, mrs. Lucas.

234. By what right, I must ask you, mr. Crangle,

235. by what right do you presume

236. to pass judgment on my husband?

237. You're not even a medical man.

238. You don't know a thing about it

239. and yet you write letters to the hospital,

240. dozens of letters,

241. accusing my husband of being a murderer.

242. You're a filthy, miserable...

243. tell me,

244. have they... discharged your husband yet?

245. I've been expecting it momentarily.

246. They have not.

247. It would take more than letter writing

248. from a crank to make that happen.

249. Your husband is an evil man!

250. I will not put up with evil in any form-

251. communists, subversives, thieves, harlots-

252. evil, all of them,

253. and I will not countenance evil.

254. Do you hear me?

255. I will absolutely not countenance evil.

256. Hmm.

257. You're probably unaware of it,

258. mr. Crangle,

259. but my husband is a very sensitive man.

260. The people at the hospital told him

261. to overlook the letters,

262. forget about them,

263. but they're killing him.

264. Tell me, mr. Crangle, why...

265. why do you do it?

266. Why?

267. Why?

268. You ask me why?

269. Why, because they're evil.

270. That's it.

271. There's nothing complicated about that.

272. They're evil-

273. all those little bugs out there- bacteria.

274. That's what they are.

275. That's what your husband is-

276. bacteria.

277. Those little...

278. that's it!

279. That's precisely it!

280. That's what I'll do.

281. I knew I would get the clue.

282. I said "little people."

283. "Little people"?

284. That's what I'll do-

285. I'll turn all the evil people into little ones.

286. You understand?

287. I'll make every evil man three...

288. no, two... two feet tall.

289. At 4:00 in the afternoon,

290. at precisely 4:00,

291. every evil man and woman

292. will be exactly two feet tall.

293. A revelation... an absolute revelation.

294. They'll all be two feet tall!

295. "It is rather for us to be dedicated

296. to the great task remaining before us."

297. "All men are created equal."

298. We have a visitor coming, pete.

299. Come in!

300. Come in, come in.

301. I'm oliver crangle.

302. I'm the one who called.

303. My name is hall, mr. Crangle

304. federal bureau of investigation.

305. Our office had a call from you...

306. indeed, indeed, indeed, I placed the call.

307. Please, please, sit down.

308. Now, I called you here

309. because I felt

310. that the f.b.I. Should know.

311. I also notified the police

312. and the... the fire departments.

313. I even had a call in to washington,

314. although that call

315. probably won't even go through.

316. It's my understanding

317. that the reds are in complete control

318. in washington now.

319. They've probably taken over

320. the switchboard, too.

321. The reds, mr. Crangle?

322. Oh, yes, the reds.

323. And it's a complete conspiracy, you know.

324. All the evil people of the world have banded together-

325. communists, subversives, thieves-

326. it's a total, worldwide conspiracy.

327. Now, mr. Crangle, on the phone you said

328. that you had some sort of plan...

329. oh, yes, yes, yes, yes,

330. that'll all take place at 4:00.

331. Now, you see, mr. Hall,

332. I have spent many years doing this kind of work.

333. I've made a complete study of evil.

334. Oh, yes, I made a study of it.

335. I listen to the radio.

336. I watch television.

337. I cut out newspaper clippings.

338. I write letters to employers, make phone calls late at night.

339. There's the most efficient method, right there.

340. Calling these terrible people constantly late at night,

341. waking them up-

342. waking them up, speaking my charges and hanging up.

343. Very frustrating for them.

344. Yes, I'll bet.

345. Oh, yes, indeed.

346. You know, they go out of their mind with fury.

347. They don't like to be woken up late at night,

348. I can assure you.

349. Who does, mr. Crangle?

350. With these people, it's absolutely necessary.

351. But to the point, mr. Hall, to the point.

352. It is now... 3:27.

353. In exactly 33 minutes,

354. all the evil people in the world

355. will become half-

356. no, a third their present size.

357. All the uncaught murderers

358. and the tyrants,

359. all the bullies and the wrongdoers-

360. all of them, every one.

361. Nut.

362. Well, what do you think of it, mr. Hall?

363. Mr. Crangle, how do you go about doing this-

364. shrinking people?

365. Why, I... I merely will it.

366. That's all.

367. In the past, several other methods had occurred to me

368. to stop evil from spreading.

369. How does evil spread?

370. Hmm?

371. By public transport.

372. So I had it in mind

373. that I might take the stiffness out of airplane propellers.

374. You understand?

375. Props hanging limp...

376. like empty banana skin.

377. Then it occurred to me that I might change

378. all the wheels in the world from round to square.

379. Or perhaps triangular.

380. So they'd stub in the asphalt

381. and stop them.

382. Mr. Crangle...

383. this... you know, mr. Hall, this is hard to believe.

384. This idea just occurred to me- about the change in size-

385. just a short while ago.

386. Some benighted woman was in here

387. and she inadvertently gave me the idea-

388. turn all the evil people into two feet tall.

389. And what could be simpler?

390. Think of it.

391. Think of how inefficient

392. this would make them.

393. Why, they couldn't handle delicate scientific instruments,

394. adding machines, typewriters or telephone dials.

395. Why, soon enough, they'd be extinct, like dinosaurs.

396. Nut.

397. Mr. Crangle...

398. yes?

399. I'd like to ask you a question, sir.

400. I hope you won't take offense at it.

401. Oh, no, no, please, go on.

402. Have you ever had any psychiatric help?

403. What?

404. Psychiatric help.

405. Mr. Crangle, you don't seem rational to me.

406. I... I think you've developed some kind of obsession here.

407. I think you need some help.

408. Help? I need...

409. why should I need help?

410. I'm not evil.

411. I'm very sorry, mr. Crangle,

412. but there isn't much we can do about this.

413. What do you mean?

414. The law enforcement agencies

415. will have round-the- clock schedules.

416. Don't you realize

417. how many evil people you'll find?

418. Why, they'll be all over the sidewalks,

419. all over the streets!

420. You'll have to build more jails,

421. more electric chairs, gallows.

422. Well, what about it, mr. Hall?

423. What are you going to do about it?

424. Nothing- not a thing.

425. We have something in this country

426. which makes all of that quite unnecessary.

427. What's that?

428. It's the law, mr. Crangle,

429. we have the law.

430. We like people's help

431. and their support, their cooperation,

432. but interference is quite another matter.

433. Oh, I get it now.

434. I understand.

435. I understand perfectly.

436. Why, I was an idiot

437. not to have realized it sooner.

438. Of course.

439. Of course

440. you people have gotten

441. into the f.b.I.

442. Stands to reason.

443. You've infiltrated every place.

444. Let me tell you something, mr. Hall,

445. let me tell you something.

446. For the next 15 or 20 minutes,

447. you enjoy yourself to the utmost,

448. because you'll be two feet tall!

449. Two feet tall, mr. Hall,

450. that's what you're going to be!

451. Two feet tall, do you hear me?

452. You and all the rest of them-

453. all the evil people.

454. They're going to be two feet tall!

455. Nut.

456. Oh, judgment day.

457. Judgment day is upon us.

458. Won't be long now.

459. You... 4:00.

460. You evil!

461. Evil!

462. It's happening, pete.

463. It's happening right now.

464. Everyone, all the evil ones-

465. they're all turning into tiny little gnomes.

466. Nut.

467. Certainly, peter.

468. This is kind of a celebration.

469. Nut.

470. At 4:00, an evil man made his bed, and lay in it,

471. a pot called a kettle black,

472. a stone thrower broke the windows of his glass house.

473. You look for this one under "f" for "fanatic"

474. and "j" for "justice," in the twilight zone.

475. Rod serling, creator of the twilight zone,

476. will tell you about next week's story

477. after this message.

478. And now, mr. Serling.

479. As it happens to all men,

480. a newcomer takes his first step into the twilight zone next week

481. when mr. Andy devine joins us

482. for a show called "hocus-pocus and frisby."

483. He plays the role of a storekeeper

484. of the cracker-barrel variety,

485. who stretches the truth like most people pull on taffy.

486. This one is for laughs

487. and for the congenital liars amongst you.

488. Next week, mr. Andy devine- "hocus-pocus and frisby."

489. Red cross looks to you for help.

490. When you help, we can help.