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2. You're traveling
through another dimension-
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3. a dimension not only of sight
and sound, but of mind,
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4. a journey into a wondrous land
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5. whose boundaries
are that of imagination.
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6. Your next stop,
the twilight zone.
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7. I don't see him.
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8. He's in the box
in front of the pulpit.
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9. I thought he'd
be in a coffin.
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10. Silly fool.
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11. That's what the box is,
a coffin.
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12. Thank you, sister.
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13. Brothers and sisters,
we are congregated
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14. here today to pay homage
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15. to our dear brother,
jefferson myrtlebank.
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16. We all know that jeff myrtlebank
was a good boy.
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17. He didn't always show up
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18. to sunday school on sunday,
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19. but we never saw him
at the bootlegger's
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20. on saturday night, either.
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21. Amen.
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22. We're all
going to miss
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23. this fine youth.
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24. The good lord
must have had
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25. a powerful reason to want
to take him so young in life.
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26. Hallelujah.
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27. But we all know
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28. that the lord moves
in mysterious ways
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29. and today...
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30. he's alive.
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31. The mid-20s.
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32. The midwest-
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33. the southernmost section
of the midwest.
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34. We were just witnessing
a funeral,
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35. a funeral that didn't come off
exactly as planned
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36. due to a slight fallout
from the twilight zone.
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37. Who in tarnation
put me in that coffin?
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38. Brethren, let's not
give way to panic.
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39. A small mistake seems
to have been made.
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40. Brother siddons,
it seems
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41. you got a little
sense left.
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42. Now, what's going
on around here?
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43. Son, we was about
to bury you.
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44. Bury me?
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45. We was real
certain you'd died
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46. the day
before yesterday.
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47. Died?
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48. Well, that's silly.
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49. Doc bolton
pronounced
you dead.
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50. That's right, son.
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51. Your heart stopped beating
two days ago.
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52. I was at the bedside.
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53. Well, I... that couldn't be.
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54. I'm... I'm breathing now.
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55. It wasn't beating
day before yesterday.
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56. You was sick, son,
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57. real sick.
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58. Worst case of flu
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59. I've ever
come across
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60. in my whole
medical career.
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61. I'm surprised he lasted
past last wednesday.
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62. I hate to cast a shadow
on your medical career, doc,
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63. but I won't crawl back
in that coffin
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64. just to save face with you.
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65. Yes, sir.
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66. There was no question about it.
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67. There was no pulse.
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68. Well, I'm sure glad
you didn't embalm me.
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69. How do you
feel now, son?
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70. Well, I feel good.
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71. I feel a little weak
but, uh... rested.
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72. Hungry.
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73. I could eat the hide off a bear.
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74. I'm real hungry.
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75. I reckon you should be.
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76. I know you ain't et
for three days.
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77. Ma!
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78. Pa!
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79. Surprise!
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80. I sure hope
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81. you got a good supper
on the calendar.
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82. What's the matter?
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83. You act like
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84. I'm some sort of
ghost or something.
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85. Hello, son.
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86. Well, I'll be double-dogged.
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87. My own folks
are a-scared of me.
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88. Comfort?
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89. I'll bet you ain't scared of me.
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90. I'm the man
you're going to marry.
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91. Well, I guess you are at that.
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92. Liz?
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93. Now, you ain't a-scared
of me, are you?
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94. Jeff, you
fooled them,
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95. didn't you,
jeff?
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96. Yeah, honey,
I fooled them.
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97. Son.
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98. Son!
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99. Praise be.
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100. We ain't lost you
after all, son.
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101. I know what it is.
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102. I know
what it is.
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103. The miracle that happened
here in our county.
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104. "Ipso suspendo animation."
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105. Very rare.
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106. There have been only 30 cases
in the past 1,500 years.
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107. Ain't you just
covering up
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108. for your
miscalculations?
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109. I ain't heard
of that sickness.
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110. Ain't likely you would-
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111. 30 cases in 1,500 years,
all them in europe.
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112. You should
quit trying to slandering
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113. my name and take him home,
give him some soup.
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114. He'll need
some rest.
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115. Well, I...
I'm a mite weak.
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116. We'll get you
right on home.
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117. Just as soon
as I crank up.
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118. I'll fry you
a nice rabbit.
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119. I'm sorry I acted
so funny, jeff.
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120. It was just that...
it was so sudden.
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121. Sure nice
to have you back.
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122. Oh, thank you
kindly,
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123. comfort, honey,
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124. but I ain't never been away.
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125. That was a larruping
good breakfast, ma.
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126. Well, I guess I'll get
over to that east 40
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127. and mend that fence.
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128. Oh, I wish
you wouldn't.
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129. It's only
been two weeks
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130. since you was
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131. at the brink
of the grave.
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132. You oughtn't
to be toiling
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133. from sunup
to sundown.
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134. I feel great, ma.
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135. I never felt
better in my life.
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136. I'll see you
down there, pa.
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137. All right.
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138. I... I'm real concerned.
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139. I... I just don't like
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140. the way he's behaved
the last two weeks.
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141. What do you mean?
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142. He's different,
not like he was at all.
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143. Seems the same to me.
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144. He only et
two eggs again.
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145. Why, ever since
he's sprouted teeth
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146. he's been having
three eggs
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147. at breakfast.
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148. Well, a man's
taste can change.
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149. And he goes around
fiddling with things
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150. night and day.
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151. And the way he goes
at that hard work.
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152. Why, he was never that
friendly with work before.
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153. Yes, sir, that's
true at that.
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154. I recollect
worrying many times
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155. that he leaned
just a shade
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156. towards the side
of shiftlessness.
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157. Not lazy, exactly, but...
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158. no.
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159. No, just uninterested.
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160. And since his sickness,
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161. he's been fighting
in that work
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162. just like he was
a year behind.
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163. No, it ain't like
him at that.
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164. All right, big ears,
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165. you run down
to the mailbox
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166. and wait
for the mailman.
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167. I'm expecting
a new catalog.
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168. Sure hope it gets here.
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169. You've about wore that out.
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170. Make way for the queen!
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171. He ain't been
here yet.
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172. Can I shoot?
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173. Sure.
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174. Here's your ammunition.
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175. I ain't afraid of frogs.
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176. It's just that they're dirty.
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177. How's your brother?
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178. All right, I reckon.
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179. Only ma and pa
are a little bit concerned
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180. the way he's been
behaving lately.
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181. How's he been acting?
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182. I don't know, just... different.
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183. He eats different,
works different,
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184. always fiddling
with things.
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185. Besides, it ain't
none of your business.
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186. He loves me not,
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187. he loves me...
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188. is that a fact?
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189. Well, I was wondering
if you'd heard anything.
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190. Well, as a matter of fact,
I have heard a little something.
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191. I...
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192. just a minute.
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193. You run out and play.
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194. Why? I want to listen.
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195. Go on now. Scoot.
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196. Aw, shuckin'.
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197. You want to hold a mouthful
of black pepper for ten minutes?
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198. Little pitchers have big ears.
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199. Well, now, I know for a fact
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200. that those poor folks
are scared to death.
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201. Why, he's been acting
like a complete strangers
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202. ever since the funeral.
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203. Yes, sir, I mean,
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204. I sure wouldn't
want to go sleep
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205. in a house
with that boy around.
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206. Not me.
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207. They say he's started fiddling
with things now, like axes.
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208. I don't know.
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209. He was always
such a good boy.
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210. Gents.
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211. What do you say, doc?
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212. We was just discussing
that myrtlebank boy.
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213. Yeah, what
about him?
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214. Just wondering
about him.
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215. I guess you've heard
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216. how peculiar
he's acted lately.
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217. Yeah, I heard.
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218. I ain't one to
pass on gossip.
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219. Still, you gotta wonder.
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220. Where was he them 48 hours
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221. he was supposed
to be dead?
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222. Had to be
somewheres.
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223. If he was dead.
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224. Doc says he had
that rare sickness.
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225. Maybe I told
a white lie, strauss.
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226. Maybe I was thinking
of his folks' feelings
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227. when I brought up that disease.
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228. Can you straighten that out?
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229. I'm not the kind to bury a body
unless I'm positive he's dead.
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230. You know me better than that.
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231. Shoot, yes,
we know you, doc.
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232. I did more
than feel that boy's pulse.
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233. When his folks
left the room,
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234. I gave him
the pin test.
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235. I stabbed him
with a pin.
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236. He didn't
even flicker.
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237. I held a mirror to his lips.
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238. If there was any life left
in the man at all,
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239. his breath would fog up
the mirror.
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240. Well, what happened?
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241. I pronounced him dead, didn't I?
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242. Then where could
he have been
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243. for them
48 hours?
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244. Why don't we say it?
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245. We're all a-thinking it.
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246. You say it, peters.
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247. You're daggum right I'll say it.
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248. How do we know
the man who got up
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249. and crawled
out of that coffin
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250. is really
jeff myrtlebank?
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251. I wouldn't talk
like that, gentlemen.
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252. It could cause
a lot of trouble.
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253. Well, I don't know.
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254. My grandma,
she used to tell me
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255. about evil spirits
roaming around the world
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256. trying to find a body
to take over.
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257. She said that they'd
steal a corpse sometimes
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258. before a man
was good dead.
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259. That kind of talk's
dangerous, peters.
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260. Although I must confess this
throws a lot of dry kindling
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261. on the fire that's been
smoldering in my brain
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262. ever since the funeral.
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263. Have a good day, gents.
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264. It's him.
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265. Dagnabit, comfort,
now's the time to tell him.
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266. Right now.
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267. No.
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268. I don't tell you who to see.
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269. And you leave me alone.
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270. Well, maybe
orgram's right, dear.
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271. You know what everyone in the
county is saying about him.
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272. Well,
he's not visiting the county-
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273. he's visiting me.
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274. Well, you're just plain
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275. rotten stubborn.
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276. I bet all your kids
are born with horns.
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277. Orgram!
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278. You two just get on
into the kitchen
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279. and let me
entertain my guest.
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280. Well, bless my soul!
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281. Comfort...
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282. look at who's here.
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283. Well, come on
in this house.
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284. And how's your
ma and orgram?
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285. Just fine.
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286. How's your folks?
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287. Just fine,
except ma.
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288. She'll be
madder
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289. than a hornet
tomorrow.
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290. Mad?
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291. You see, I...
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292. I robbed her
pet rose vine
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293. just so I could
bring you a bouquet.
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294. Oh, you oughtn't
have done that.
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295. Oh, it's not much.
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296. They're dead,
aren't they?
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297. I guess tame roses-
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298. they don't
last very long.
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299. When did you pick them?
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300. Oh, I picked them
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301. just before
I came over here.
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302. Oh, well.
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303. Why... why don't
we have some music?
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304. Yeah, I'd like that.
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305. We just bought a new
country blues last week.
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306. Yeah, I see you did.
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307. Don't touch me.
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308. What's the matter
with you?
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309. I'm sorry.
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310. Just the way them flowers died.
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311. Maybe you've got poison
on your hands.
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312. I ain't got no poison
on my hands.
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313. That's not what's
bothering you.
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314. Everywhere I go
it's just the same.
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315. I expect it from the others
but not from you.
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316. I'm getting sick and tired
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317. of everybody treating me
like a vampire.
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318. Oh, jeff.
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319. Now, you tell me.
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320. Are you my girl or not?
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321. Well, land's
sakes, child,
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322. you're scared
half to death.
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323. What'd he do?
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324. Nothing.
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325. It's time to put
a stop to this.
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326. After all, I'm the
man of the family.
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327. He didn't do
nothing wrong.
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328. I ain't liked him
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329. since we were both
three years old.
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330. Unhand me.
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331. Orgram,
you be careful.
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332. Jeff?
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333. Now, what
do you want?
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334. I don't want you hanging
around here anymore.
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335. Now, let me give you
some advice, orgram.
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336. I'm mad right now.
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337. I ain't mad at
you in particular,
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338. but it'd be a shame
if you got in my way
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339. and I had to take
it out on you.
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340. You threatening me?
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341. Huh.
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342. You forget who I am.
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343. If I had a dime
for every time I whopped you,
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344. I'd have a hundred dollars.
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345. That's right...
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346. but you ain't whupped me lately.
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347. Now, you get out of my way.
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348. Make me.
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349. Oh, my baby.
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350. My poor little baby.
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351. Get out the wagon
and the team.
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352. He broke my jaw.
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353. Oh, we'll get you
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354. right into
doc bolton.
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355. Poor jeff.
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356. He hasn't got anybody.
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357. Poor jeff?
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358. Orgram, your
jaw ain't broke
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359. or wouldn't be trying
to talk so much.
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360. You ought to do something
about that dandruff.
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361. I tell ya, I'm convinced.
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362. How long I been whupping jeff
in a bareknuckle fight?
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363. As far back as I can recollect.
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364. I used to chase him home
from school every day
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365. like it was
one of my regular chores.
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366. He never was
no match for you, orgram.
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367. How come
he bested you tonight?
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368. 'Cause it weren't
jeff myrtlebank I was fighting.
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369. Whoever it was,
he had ring training.
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370. He hitting a different way
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371. that we do around here.
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372. That man is dangerous enough
to kill with his bare hands.
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373. That's exactly what I'm
afraid of, gentlemen.
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374. We seem to be living
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375. with something
evil in our midst,
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376. and we got to
put a stop to it.
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377. We've all discussed
what we're going to do,
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378. and I for one
can't see any reason
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379. for putting it off any longer.
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380. You through talking now?
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381. Let me have another
look in there.
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382. I rode out to warn you:
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383. There's a group of men
coming out from town-
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384. they're going to ask you
to move out of the country.
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385. Well, now, how do you
feel about that, comfort?
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386. Well, I'm a
fickle woman, jeff.
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387. I'm the kind
who believes
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388. whatever is said
by them I'm with.
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389. I've heard some bad
things said about you
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390. and sometimes I
ain't strong enough
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391. to turn a deef ear to them,
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392. but in my heart,
I reckon I love you
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393. or else I wouldn't be here
with you now.
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394. I got a great love
for you, comfort,
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395. and I want you to marry me.
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396. I reckon you better give me
your answer right now.
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397. Gents.
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398. What do you say?
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399. Jeff, we are here
as a committee
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400. to speak
for the community.
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401. We talked
this over
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402. and we came to
the conclusion
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403. that jeff myrtlebank is dead.
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404. We think you're a hant.
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405. That's right, a hant.
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406. We don't know who you are
or where you come from.
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407. We figure
you stole jeff's body.
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408. We don't even like you
as a neighbor.
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409. We're asking you
to move out.
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410. Move out, you hear?
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411. What do you say, jeff?
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412. Well, I think that depends
on miss comfort gatewood.
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413. I just asked her a question
and she ain't answered it yet.
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414. I reckon I'm with you no
matter where we have to go.
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415. You stand behind me, then.
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416. Gents, my wife-to-be and me,
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417. now, we was born
and raised in this county.
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418. We like it.
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419. We don't aim to raise our kids
anyplace else.
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420. Now, you...
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421. wait a minute!
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422. I heard you out.
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423. Let him speak.
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424. We're going to stay,
and that means just two things:
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425. One, if you're wrong about me,
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426. then you ain't got nothing
to worry about
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427. because that means
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428. I'm just a poor
ol' country boy
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429. by the name of jeff myrtlebank.
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430. But on the other hand,
if you're right about me,
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431. then you better start
treating me pretty nice
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432. because you just
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433. don't know all
the trouble
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434. I can cause you.
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435. I might wave my right hand
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436. and bring a whole grove
of locusts down on your crops.
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437. Then I might wave my left hand
and dry up all your wells.
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438. Then I might snap my fingers
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439. and burn a barn or two.
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440. And then some morning
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441. if I get up
and I feel exceptionally ornery,
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442. I might have the hawks come down
and steal your chickens.
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443. Yes, sir.
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444. You folks better start
treating me and mine real nice.
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445. That's a different picture
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446. with you aiming
to marry comfort.
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447. We ain't wanting
to hurt her none.
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448. Yes, sir, it'd sure
be wrong to hurt her
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449. trying to get
at somebody else.
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450. When are you fixing
on marrying her, jeff?
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451. Right away, I reckon.
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452. Let us know
about it, boy.
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453. We'll picnic that day.
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454. Well, come on, gents.
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455. They got a lot
of talking to do.
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456. You couldn't really do
all that, could you?
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457. Of course not.
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458. I hate lying to them,
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459. but I find
that when something comes up
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460. you've got to cope with it.
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461. How'd you do that?
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462. Do what?
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463. Light that match?
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464. You didn't strike
it on anything.
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465. It just lit.
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466. Comfort, honey, first
thing you've got to learn
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467. is not to imagine things.
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468. Jeff and comfort
are still alive today
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469. and their only son
is a united states senator.
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470. He's noted as an
uncommonly shrewd politician,
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471. and some believe he must
have gotten his education
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472. in the twilight zone.
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473. Mental illness
is no longer hopeless.
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474. Many are now being saved.
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475. Help fight mental illness.
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476. Support
your mental health association.
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