The Twilight Zone 2x2

Directed by Don Medford

Olan Soule as IRS Man • Luther Adler as Arthur Castle • Joseph Ruskin as Genie • Vivi Janiss as Edna Castle • Lisa Golm as Mrs. Gumley

A discontented curio shop owner thinks he's finally found happiness when a genie he discovers in an old bottle grants him four wishes.

Request examples:

!req The Twilight Zone 2x2 [02:32]
!req The Twilight Zone 2x2 [The Twilight Zone 2x2]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req The Twilight Zone 2x2 [10-11]; !req The Twilight Zone 2x2 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
You can also generate a copy command with the quotes. Hover the desired subtitle and enter the amount of lines you want to copy.

Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. Shared by http://DJJ.HOME.SAPO.PT/

2. You're traveling through another dimension-

3. a dimension not only of sight and sound, but of mind.

4. A journey into a wondrous land of imagination.

5. Next stop, the twilight zone.

6. Edna.

7. Huh?

8. What about gas and electric?

9. What?

10. The gas and electric bill.

11. How many months is that?

12. Four months.

13. That's one you better pay.

14. Huh. That's one I can't pay.

15. Oh, I wish...

16. how are you, mrs. Gumley?

17. Oh, just fine, mr. Castle.

18. How have you been?

19. Oh, can't complain.

20. Been having a lot of rain, haven't we?

21. Quite a bit of rain for this time of the year.

22. Really.

23. It's good for the flowers.

24. How's that?

25. An heirloom today, mr. Castle.

26. An heirloom, mrs. Gumley?

27. Oh, yes, mr. Castle.

28. Been in my family for years and years.

29. It's supposed to be very valuable.

30. Hand-blown glass is what it is.

31. Really?

32. Uh-huh.

33. Mrs. Gumley, it's just a plain old wine bottle.

34. Do you know what it's worth?

35. Nothing.

36. If you could find the store where it came from,

37. that's what they would give you for it, mrs. Gumley-

38. nothing.

39. I... I could let it go for a dollar.

40. Mrs. Gumley, if I could spare a dollar,

41. I'd give it to you, believe me I would, but...

42. well, things have been rough here.

43. I'm so in debt myself...

44. I wish I could make it more, I really do.

45. Thank you, mr. Castle.

46. You're a wonderful man.

47. God bless you.

48. Mr. Castle...

49. it's not an heirloom, you know.

50. I found it in an ash can.

51. Please, mr. Castle,

52. forgive me for lying.

53. Aw, that's all right, mrs. Gumley.

54. Who knows? Maybe it'll turn out tobean heirloom.

55. Yeah.

56. Thank you.

57. Gorgeous.

58. She has to eat, doesn't she?

59. You don't?

60. Arthur...

61. we're just around the corner

62. from bankruptcy.

63. You promised me, no more handouts.

64. Look, edna, maybe all I've got left

65. is to try to find some poor clod whoicould feel sorry for.

66. Maybe a man can be a failure

67. for only so long,

68. and then... and then...

69. and then it catches up with him.

70. Look at it, edna!

71. Look at it!

72. The legacy of a hundred years.

73. My grandfather owned it, and it broke his heart.

74. And then, my father- it killed him, too.

75. Look at it. Look at it.

76. The meanness of it, the shabbiness of it,

77. the hand-to-mouth of it!

78. It isn't just an antique shop

79. where you pick up the pitiful remnants

80. of other people's failures.

81. It's a shrine to failure itself, that's what it is!

82. It's a mausoleum, a burial ground for...

83. for people's hopes.

84. Edna, what happens to us anyway?

85. What happens to us?

86. We're not old people,

87. and yet this place is making us old.

88. There must be years ahead of us

89. that come without scrimping and counting,

90. and picking over checkbooks and budgets

91. and final notices and old bills.

92. Hey...

93. hey!

94. Mr. And mrs. Arthur castle-

95. gentle and infinitely patient people

96. whose lives have been a hope chest

97. with a rusty lock and a lost set of keys.

98. But, in just a moment, that hope chest will be opened,

99. and an improbable phantom will try to bedeck the drabness

100. of these two people's failure-laden lives

101. with the gold and precious stones of fulfillment.

102. Mr. And mrs. Arthur castle, standing on the outskirts,

103. and about to enter, the twilight zone.

104. How do you do?

105. Rather than go into any lengthy generic explanation

106. of my existence, suffice it to say that I am a genie.

107. That's quite correct.

108. A genie.

109. I can offer you four wishes with a guaranteed performance.

110. Well, mr. Castle?

111. Mrs. Castle?

112. What have you in mind?

113. Arthur, what's happening to us?

114. He's a hypnotist or something.

115. Nothing of the sort.

116. I grant four wishes to the owner,

117. then go back inside the bottle

118. for a century and a year until a summons comes

119. from the next owner.

120. Now, I think the business at hand is for you and mrs. Castle

121. to decide upon the nature of your four wishes,

122. keeping in mind, of course...

123. edna.

124. that each wish is irrevocable.

125. Once made, it is fulfilled.

126. And, once fulfilled, it is a matter of record.

127. It can only be altered by yet another wish.

128. Clear, mr. Castle?

129. I think we'd better call the police.

130. Wish for them.

131. I can bring you scotland yard,

132. the federal bureau of investigation,

133. or every bobby in the city of london.

134. Is it the police you want?

135. No.

136. That is not what we would wish for.

137. Arthur, you out of your mind?

138. You believe him?

139. Please go on, mr. Castle.

140. You were saying?

141. Well, if I had a wish,

142. just for the sake of argument,

143. I'd say I wanted that broken glass

144. in that case to be fixed.

145. Would you like to make it official, mr. Castle?

146. Well, mr. Castle,

147. is that your wish?

148. Yes, that is my wish.

149. I want that glass in that display case

150. to be repaired.

151. Well, mr. Castle?

152. You have three wishes left.

153. Three wishes.

154. Three wishes, three wishes.

155. Anything we want.

156. Well, think, think.

157. What do you want?

158. Nothing, arthur. I want nothing.

159. A new shop-

160. an expensive shop on fifth avenue.

161. We could have that just for the asking.

162. Or money, edna, money!

163. $100,000!

164. $200,000!

165. A million!

166. Edna, edna,

167. we wouldn't have to grub anymore.

168. We wouldn't to sit her and waste our lives away.

169. Arthur, no.

170. There's something unholy about this.

171. Clothes, edna, expensive clothes.

172. Jewels, a beautiful house!

173. Anything we want, edna!

174. No more worries for the rest of our lives.

175. Money.

176. Money? The simplest, mr. Castle.

177. How much, and in what denominations?

178. How much do we want?

179. I don't know.

180. I don't know!

181. A million dollars, right here on the floor,

182. in five and ten dollar bills.

183. That's what we want!

184. A million dollars!

185. Ask and you shall receive, mr. Castle.

186. Edna, edna!

187. Edna! A million dollars, edna!

188. A million dollars! A million dollars!

189. Edna, look!

190. A million!

191. Wait, wait, wait.

192. Wait, wait, wait. So he says...

193. wait. So he says, "money?"

194. So much money for me.

195. I thought maybe she's-a go outta style!

196. Here you are, my friend. Here you are.

197. You pay off that mortgage

198. and have yourself... start living again.

199. That's it. Here you are, my dear.

200. Here. You take yourself that vacation,

201. and bring back a boyfriend. Don't forget.

202. Mrs. Gumley. Oh, my dear.

203. Here. Here. More. More!

204. Mrs. Gumley, god bless you. God bless you.

205. Here you are, my dear.

206. No, no, no, no, no.

207. You take that home with you.

208. Here you are, reverend.

209. Don't you worry. This is honest money.

210. You take it and get that church painted.

211. Yes, sir. Yes, sir, and thank you.

212. Yes, dolly, here you are. Come here.

213. You tell angelo to get himself a new truck

214. with red wheels. Remember.

215. Here you are, my...

216. no need. My card, mr. Castle.

217. Office of internal revenue.

218. Yes, that's correct.

219. There's a matter of an income tax, mr. Castle.

220. Just send us the bill

221. and we'll pay it.

222. But send us the bill in a hurry,

223. would you please?

224. My wife and I will be taking off

225. for europe very shortly.

226. Dependents?

227. The whole neighborhood.

228. Oh, no. They don't count.

229. What does that figure there mean?

230. A million dollars, mr. Castle.

231. Taxed on the basis of a husband and wife,

232. using the standard deductions, you owe the government

233. approximately $907,000.

234. What?

235. Yes, that's correct.

236. Then, in addition,

237. there's a state income tax involved which...

238. using thumb rule...

239. the whole thing comes to a total of...

240. roughly, mind you...

241. $942,640.

242. Arthur, we've already given away a lot of money.

243. Well, now, if you'll just fill out this form

244. and send it to us with your check?

245. Oh, uh... if you want to use the installment plan,

246. we'll send you a statement after the form has been analyzed.

247. Uh... mr. Castle?

248. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just send us a bill.

249. Well, we'll be seeing you, mr. Castle.

250. Good evening, mrs. Castle.

251. Well?

252. $910,530.

253. $910,535.

254. $910,540.

255. We gave away almost $60,000.

256. And this goes to taxes, and this...

257. and this...

258. five dollars?

259. Yeah.

260. Quite a wish, arthur.

261. Quite a wish.

262. And we haven't even paid those bills yet.

263. Mr. Castle...

264. it was my suggestion

265. that you reflect very carefully, mr. Castle.

266. Very, very carefully.

267. Now, had you made a wish

268. that took into account the taxes involved...

269. oh...

270. look, you.

271. Plenty of sweet talk and promises and the whole thing,

272. and all the time you're nothing

273. but a con artist.

274. This time, I want the million dollars,

275. but I want itafter...

276. arthur, no more money.

277. You got to wish for something else.

278. Something else.

279. How about ten more wishes?

280. Or 20?

281. Don't be in such a hurry, arthur.

282. Then you think of something!

283. I'm afraid wishing for more wishes

284. isn't permitted, mr. Castle.

285. Frankly, I'd be afraid to have you try

286. for fear of the consequences.

287. What consequences?

288. Why do you keep losing your temper?

289. Well, you're no help for me. That's for sure!

290. Here we stand in this crummy little shop,

291. with the whole world out in front of us,

292. with anything to wish for that we want,

293. and you just stay on my back...!

294. Arthur!

295. Edna.

296. What... what's happening with us?

297. What's going on?

298. Oddly enough, mr. Castle,

299. this is the normal pattern

300. that seems to be generally followed-

301. great excitement, great emotionalism.

302. Strangely enough,

303. hard to believe though it may be,

304. only a modicum of happiness.

305. Well... you got a couple

306. of cheap customers here, mister.

307. People that haven't known much happiness.

308. What? What? What do we wish for?

309. I wish I knew, arthur.

310. I don't know!

311. What about it, genie?

312. What can we wish for now?

313. What can come to us without tricks?

314. Without tricks!

315. I question the semantics here, mr. Castle.

316. There are no tricks involved.

317. There are simply normal and understandable outgrowths

318. and conditions that go with any windfall.

319. No matter what you wish for,

320. you must be prepared for the consequences.

321. Something without consequences.

322. Something dead sure.

323. Something anchored, something airtight.

324. Edna, I think I got it.

325. I think I know what it is.

326. What, arthur?

327. Power. Power, edna.

328. To be in charge of something...

329. the boss... to be a leader.

330. We could wish for that.

331. Possible.

332. Very possible.

333. President of a corporation?

334. That sort of thing?

335. He could go bankrupt.

336. Mayor of a city?

337. You get voted out of office, then what?

338. Wait a minute, wait a minute.

339. I know what.

340. Head of a country.

341. Ruler of a whole country.

342. That's it.

343. What about it, genie?

344. I want to be the head of a country

345. who can't be voted out of office.

346. Do you want to be more specific than that?

347. Wait a minute.

348. Let me give it to you this way.

349. I want to be the head of a foreign country

350. who can't be voted out of office,

351. but it must be a contemporary country.

352. Contemporary?

353. Within this century.

354. No problems.

355. What about consequences?

356. Consequences, mr. Castle?

357. I've already told you.

358. You run the risk of consequences no matter what you wish for.

359. All right, then.

360. Go ahead, arthur. You wish for that.

361. I want to be the ruler of a foreign country,

362. just as I've described it.

363. Go ahead, genie.

364. Take over.

365. As you wish, mr. Castle.

366. From now on, it's just a mass suicide.

367. Well, what about it, fuhrer?

368. Head of a country.

369. Can't be voted out of office.

370. I'm hitler.

371. I'm in a bunker.

372. It's the end of the war.

373. Mein fuhrer.

374. What you asked for.

375. Very quick...

376. and very painless, mein fuhrer.

377. And we have the gasoline outside

378. for you and miss braun

379. when you finish.

380. I wish... I wish I were back where it all started.

381. I wish I were arthur castle again!

382. What's the matter, arthur?

383. You look so funny.

384. What happened?

385. I had a wish fulfilled.

386. Number four.

387. All the wishes ended the same way-

388. in fragments, little pieces.

389. Funny thing, though.

390. This place... this... this place doesn't look half bad.

391. You all right?

392. Oh, I'm fine.

393. Well, maybe we'll stop wishing for a while.

394. And, since we obviously can't afford

395. a brand-new life,

396. suppose we give the old one a paint job

397. or something?

398. I think that's a very good idea.

399. What are you laughing at?

400. We came out of it ahead anyway.

401. Shouldn't be a total loss.

402. A word to the wise now

403. to the garbage collectors of the world,

404. to the curio seekers, to the antique buffs,

405. to everyone who would try to coax out a miracle

406. from unlikely places.

407. Check that bottle you're taking back for a two-cent deposit.

408. The genie you save might be your own.

409. Case in point, mr. And mrs. Arthur castle,

410. fresh from the briefest of trips

411. into the twilight zone.

412. Rod serling, creator of the twilight zone,

413. will tell you about next week's story

414. after this word from our alternate sponsor.

415. And now, mr. Serling.

416. Next week, we take you into this 8x8 hotel room,

417. and we watch a penny-ante crook make a decision.

418. You better ask the room clerk the number of this room,

419. and then come on up.

420. Mr. Joe mantell is the nervous man in the four dollar room.

421. That'sthe twilight zone next week,

422. and we'll be waiting for you.

423. Thank you and good night.

424. Be sure and see the colgate-palmolive company's

425. new comedy show my sister eileen

426. wednesday night on many of these same stations.