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2. You're traveling
through another dimension-
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3. a dimension not only of sight
and sound, but of mind.
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4. A journey into a wondrous land
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5. whose boundaries
are that of imagination.
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6. That's the signpost up ahead.
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7. Your next stop,
the twilight zone.
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8. A honey
from hunnicut!
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9. Drive it in
good health!
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10. Too much power, eh?
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11. We're just looking.
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12. Well, that's what
we want you to do.
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13. Nobody pushes you
around here.
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14. No, sir, young man.
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15. Around here, you can pause,
exhale, check, recheck,
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16. think, peruse, contemplate,
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17. wade through,
thumb over, dip into.
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18. Be my guest, folks.
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19. We were thinking of
maybe a little coupe-
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20. something
around $500-
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21. but as late
a model as we can...
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22. late?
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23. You shock me, you know that?
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24. You know your husband
shocked me just then?
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25. Well, he was only...
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26. do you know why
you shocked me?
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27. I'll tell you why
you shocked me.
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28. It's because you've succumbed
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29. to the propaganda
of every cement-headed clod
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30. up and down this street.
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31. I said propaganda.
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32. They like to push
the late models,
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33. don't they?
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34. They do, don't they?
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35. You know why they
push the late models?
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36. You think it's
because they're honest,
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37. law-abiding, rigidly
moral churchgoers?
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38. Let me tell you
something, young man.
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39. They push...
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40. they push the late models
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41. because that is
where the profit margin is.
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42. They'll cram those
post-'54s down your gullet
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43. because they would rather
make a buck than a friend.
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44. They would rather
make a profit
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45. than a relationship.
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46. They would rather
cram their wallets
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47. full of cash
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48. than fill their hearts
with the fellowship
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49. of men to men.
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50. We're really
just looking
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51. for a good
transportation car,
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52. and we thought
the newer the car...
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53. new? That's where you've
completely gone wrong.
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54. That's where you've
suddenly gone amiss.
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55. That's the juncture that's
headed you into a blind alley.
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56. You don't want a new car.
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57. You don't want one
of those rinky-dink,
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58. slapped-together
on an assembly line,
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59. covered with
chintzy chrome,
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60. fin tails, idiotic names
and no more workmanship
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61. than you can stick
into a thimble.
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62. No.
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63. I'll tell you what you want.
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64. You want the craftsmanship
that comes with age
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65. the dependability
of proven performers
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66. the dignity of
traditional transportation.
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67. This is what you want.
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68. A '38 coupe.
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69. It'll get you where
you want to go.
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70. It'll get you back.
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71. This, as the banner
already has proclaimed
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72. is mr. Harvey hunnicut-
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73. an expert on commerce
and con jobs
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74. a brash, bright and larceny-
loaded wheeler and dealer
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75. who when the good lord
passed out a conscience
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76. must have gone
for a beer and missed out.
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77. And these are a couple
of other characters-
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78. a little old man
in a model-a car
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79. but not just any old man
and not just any model-a.
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80. There's something
very special about them.
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81. In a few moments, they'll give
harvey hunnicut something
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82. that he's never
experienced before.
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83. Through the good offices
of a little magic
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84. they will unload on mr. Hunnicut
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85. the absolute necessity
to tell the truth.
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86. Where they come from
is conjecturable
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87. but as to where they're
heading, this we know:
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88. Because all of them and you
are on the threshold
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89. of the twilight zone.
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90. And did you know
that the original prototype
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91. of this car
was the mark ii tank?
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92. When you go down the freeway,
everybody else, out of the way!
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93. Where the gearshift is
used to be the cannon.
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94. Now, why don't you and I
sit down and talk turkey
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95. because this baby is
the one you're going to buy.
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96. This baby is the one that
you're going to drive off...
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97. well,
first of all...
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98. could we look
it over a bit?
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99. Look!
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100. Here, sit in it.
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101. Get the feel of it.
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102. Relish in the luxury.
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103. See how they built cars
in the days
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104. when cars were really built!
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105. Come on, young fellow!
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106. You, too, madam.
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107. Park yourself in there
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108. and enjoy it to
your heart's content.
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109. Boy, you know what
you really should have
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110. when you sit
in a car like this?
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111. Candlelight,
a bottle of good wine
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112. because this baby here
has dignity.
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113. Relax for a minute,
I'll be right back.
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114. Oh, how do you do.
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115. Well, that depends, grandpa.
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116. If you came here
to park this
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117. I'll just charge you
nominal rates
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118. but if you're here
to sell it
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119. you'll have to give me
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120. three and a half minutes
for my little laugh.
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121. I'll give you 15 bucks for it.
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122. Any junkman will give you 12.
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123. The smithsonian might top
us both by a buck or two.
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124. It's a wonderful old car
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125. and they built them better
in the old days, I think.
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126. Ah, grandfather dear
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127. that is the old
rhubarb, the saw
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128. the turkey everybody
and his brother
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129. is trying to pull
on the open market.
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130. Cars were built better
in the old days, ha!
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131. Ten years ago
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132. they didn't know
how to build cars.
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133. Now it's the new
cars that sell.
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134. Don't mind these.
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135. It's the new cars
that sell.
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136. It's the new cars
that run.
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137. It's the new cars
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138. that combine the genius
of mind, muscle
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139. and the assembly line.
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140. Oh, please...
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141. but I'll tell you
what I'll do for you
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142. because I love
your face.
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143. You remind me of
my own grandfather
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144. rest his soul,
a man of dignity
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145. down through his
declining years
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146. until he died rescuing a
capsized boatload of people
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147. on the east river.
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148. I'll give you
25 bucks for it.
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149. Probably have
to tear it down
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150. sell it wheel by
wheel, bolt by bolt
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151. to any itinerant junkman
that comes around
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152. but 25 I'll go.
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153. $25?
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154. Mm-hmm.
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155. I kind of need
the money
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156. but couldn't
you make it 30?
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157. You try me,
old friend.
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158. What does that mean?
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159. That means that
25 is going, going...
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160. that means that
25 is... gone!
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161. There we are.
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162. Ten, 20, and 25.
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163. There we are.
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164. Now, I'll tell you
what you do.
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165. You go in that
little office there.
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166. You take your car
registration papers
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167. with you,
and hold it...
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168. did I say car?
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169. Vehicle, hmm.
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170. Now, here, hmm.
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171. Comfy?
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172. Signed, sealed and
delivered, mr. Uh...
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173. hunnicut.
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174. Oh, yes, and here
are the keys.
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175. Thank you.
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176. Oh, by the way,
mr. Hunnicut.
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177. There is one other
small item
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178. I ought to mention
to you about the car.
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179. Do, do.
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180. It's haunted.
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181. Haunted?
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182. You don't say.
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183. Oh, yes,
without a doubt.
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184. The car is
quite haunted.
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185. It's been haunted
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186. ever since it came off
the assembly line
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187. and every single
one of its owners
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188. can attest
to this fact.
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189. Well, now,
I don't suppose
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190. you'd mind telling me
how it's haunted, hmm?
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191. You sign right there.
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192. Or how I can
un-haunt it?
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193. Oh, you'll find
out soon enough.
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194. I will.
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195. As for un-haunting it
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196. you'll have
to sell the car.
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197. Oh.
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198. Well, good day,
mr. Hunnicut.
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199. It's been
a real pleasure.
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200. Likewise, likewise.
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201. I think you may find
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202. that you have actually gotten
the best of the bargain at that.
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203. My ancient friend, you do me
the ultimate injustice.
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204. Our little transaction,
haunted or otherwise
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205. was my charity case for the day.
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206. You dwell on that, will you?
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207. Dwell on it.
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208. No, no, no, mr. Hunnicut.
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209. You dwell on it.
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210. And I rather think you will.
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211. Well?
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212. How much is it?
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213. It's not for sale.
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214. Why not?
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215. Uh... well, I don't know.
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216. This car we were
just sitting in.
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217. That's the one
you were pushing.
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218. Yeah, sure.
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219. I... I guess
I'm not pushing it anymore.
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220. This is a wreck, it's a rum-dum.
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221. It...
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222. oh... it hasn't got any points,
it hasn't got any rings
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223. it hasn't got any plugs
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224. and it'll leak gasoline like
it owns every oil well in texas.
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225. But the tires...
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226. are very bad,
and the chassis's been bent
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227. and if I said anything
about it being a runabout
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228. why, I meant it would run
about a block and then stop.
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229. And it'll cost you double
what you pay for it
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230. when you start taking
it in for repairs
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231. and you'll start taking
it in for repairs
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232. every third thursday
of the month.
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233. Well, what else
have you got?
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234. Oh, what else,
well...
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235. I... I'll...
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236. I haven't anything else
worthwhile to show you.
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237. Everything in this lot should
have been condemned years ago.
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238. I got more lemons
per square foot
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239. than a fruit grower in salinas.
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240. And what you ought to do
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241. you ought to hit one
of those reputable places
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242. and get what you pay for,
and something you really like
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243. but, uh, you shouldn't
come around here anymore.
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244. Okay.
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245. Thanks.
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246. Yeah.
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247. Oh, hey...
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248. never mind.
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249. Let's go look
at television sets.
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250. Sorry, I'm late, boss.
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251. I was down
at the junkyard
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252. checking on the '34
chevy wheel discs.
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253. I found four of them.
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254. Hey, what's
the action, boss?
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255. Hmm?
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256. Oh, things are a
little quiet around...
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257. irv, you won't
believe what I...
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258. nah, you won't...
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259. hey, how about trying
to move that '35 essex?
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260. Move it is right.
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261. It won't get anywhere
under its own power.
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262. All right,
knock it down to 55
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263. tell everybody it's a museum
piece, last of its kind.
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264. And look!
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265. You keep that hood closed,
you dope!
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266. How many time I gotta tell
you...
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267. when you got an engine you can't
see for rust
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268. you gotta play a little
hide-and-seek.
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269. You don't
go advertising the fact
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270. you're trying to job a car
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271. that carried french soldiers to
the first battle of the marne.
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272. Now listen, irv, I...
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273. want you to put
a sign on the car
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274. that says it's for sale
as is, no guarantees
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275. and I...
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276. think you
better open up
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277. both sides
of the hood
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278. so they can get a better
look at the engine.
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279. You want to sell it or
keep it for an heirloom?
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280. What's the matter...
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281. do I look all right to you, irv?
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282. What did you have for dinner?
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283. No, no, this is nuts.
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284. This is power of suggestion
or something.
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285. Hey, that old gleep
that sold me
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286. that model-a,
a real nutsy.
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287. Gave me a song
and dance
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288. about a haunted car.
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289. You get that?
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290. Haunted car.
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291. And I was stupid enough
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292. to stand there
and listen to him.
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293. What I should have done
was call up the local hatch
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294. reserved a rubber room
for him.
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295. Honey, this is
your ever-loving.
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296. Now, look, baby
about tonight
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297. I'm going
to be a little late.
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298. Well, it's
inventory time.
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299. Look, I told you it
was inventory time.
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300. What I'm going to be
doing tonight is I...
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301. I'm going to be
playing poker with the boys
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302. and when I told you it was
inventory time last month
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303. I was playing poker
with the boys then.
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304. You were doing what!
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305. Honey, don't
listen to me!
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306. This is nuts,
I'm sick or something.
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307. Look, what I'm really
going to be doing tonight
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308. is I'm... going to be
playing poker with the boys.
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309. What is this?
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310. Am I crazy or something?
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311. I got no control
over what I'm saying.
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312. I got no control...
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313. irv...
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314. I'm in the midst of a calamity.
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315. That old gleep
I was telling you about
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316. the one who said
that car was haunted...
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317. he was right.
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318. Whoever owns that car
has to tell the truth.
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319. Hey, irv, you dig?
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320. Did you ever hear
anything more ghastly?
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321. Me... harvey hunnicut
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322. from now on, as long
as I own that car
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323. I have to tell the truth.
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324. Well, here are the signs
you wanted, boss.
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325. Yeah.
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326. I've heard of low pressure
before, boss
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327. but let's face it-
this is no pressure.
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328. Irv, you know my wife
isn't speaking to me.
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329. Would that that were
your only worry, boss.
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330. You haven't moved a car
off the lot in three days.
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331. I know.
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332. That old lady who came in
yesterday afternoon
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333. to buy that old auburn...
I mean, let's level now.
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334. How do you start a sales pitch
by telling the customer
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335. that if the car
was one year older
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336. moses could have driven it
across the red sea?
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337. There's a limit
to honesty, boss!
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338. Irving, I...
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339. I used to feel
that way myself.
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340. I hate to bother
you now, boss
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341. but it's that thing
about my raise.
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342. Your raise?
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343. Well, it's six months today
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344. I don't want to bug you,
but you promised.
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345. You said that in six months
if I'd sold three cars,
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346. that you
would turn...
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347. oh. Yeah, well, sure.
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348. When I... I...
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349. the day you get more money
out of me,
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350. it'll be below zero
in the fijis.
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351. Every yokel who works here
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352. starts and stops
at the same salary.
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353. I only dangle that raise
in front of them
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354. just as long as it
takes them to get wise.
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355. Irv... irv...
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356. for you to get more money
out of me
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357. would be just about as easy
as...
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358. pouring hot butter
into a wildcat's ear.
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359. Irv, that hurt me
more than it did you.
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360. Correction.
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361. This is going to hurt you
a lot more than it hurts me.
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362. What's your pleasure, sir?
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363. Oh, luther grimbley here.
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364. Honest luther grimbley.
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365. 30 years in politics,
currently up for reelection.
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366. Alderman, 13th ward.
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367. You've probably heard of me.
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368. Delighted.
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369. Something nice
in a model-a?
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370. Beautiful, isn't it?
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371. That depends.
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372. If you take 12 aspirin
and shut your eyes tight
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373. you might call
it beautiful.
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374. But in the cold
light of day, son
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375. it's a wreck.
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376. What about
its condition?
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377. Well, let me tell
you one thing...
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378. the block's cracked.
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379. Block cracked?
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380. Block cracked.
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381. What else?
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382. You can see
for yourself.
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383. You take a good look
at these tires.
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384. The rubber's shot.
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385. Yeah, sure is.
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386. Might be good
for a few years
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387. not many, though.
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388. Many?
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389. This car is living
on borrowed time.
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390. What...
what's she worth?
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391. Oh...
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392. I mean assuming some clod
who wanted a real bum car
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393. to use for a gag
or something
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394. maybe... uh...
50 bucks?
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395. 50 bucks!
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396. All right, maybe 60.
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397. Why not 30?
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398. You don't understand,
do you?
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399. This is a bad car,
you see.
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400. It's a lemon.
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401. Lemon?
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402. Why you dirty dog, you.
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403. You clever son of a gun.
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404. That's the truth.
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405. That's the absolute truth.
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406. I've seen all kinds
of routines
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407. all kinds of routines
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408. but you clever
little cookie, you.
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409. This is the old reverse
english, isn't it?
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410. The old twister-oo?
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411. Why you sharp-shooting,
sharpie!
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412. You knew I wanted it,
didn't you?
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413. You little devil you!
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414. You knew I wanted it.
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415. I'll tell you what.
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416. I'll give you
25 bucks for it.
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417. On account of it's good politics
to drive an old car.
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418. Makes people think you're
not getting rich off of them.
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419. 25 bucks!
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420. How about 22½?
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421. Huh?
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422. I didn't notice
the dent in the fender.
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423. Oh.
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424. I mean $22.50,
the car and no strings.
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425. No, uh, strings?
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426. You better trot out
the strings, buddy boy.
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427. Trot out the strings.
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428. I want to know what I'm getting.
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429. Well, $22.50, the car as is,
and, uh...
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430. and, uh, what?
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431. Uh... well... uh...
the car's haunted.
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432. Haunted?
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433. The car is haunted?
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434. So it's haunted.
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435. I swear, you're the
cleverest cookie in the...
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436. you ought to be
in politics.
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437. Haunted?
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438. How is it haunted?
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439. Well, whoever owns it
has to tell the truth.
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440. Whoever owns it has
to tell the truth?
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441. The whole truth,
and the only way
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442. he can stop telling the truth
is to sell the car.
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443. How about this baby?
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444. That's no baby.
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445. That's a great-grandfather.
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446. Hasn't got any transmission,
no rear end, no axle.
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447. That one's shot.
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448. That's the goods,
is it?
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449. You have to tell
the truth, don't you?
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450. That's it.
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451. That's the reason
for the song and dance.
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452. You have
to tell the truth.
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453. Well, what about
the model-a?
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454. I mean, in spite of
the fact that it's haunted
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455. it's, it's still a swell...
conversation piece.
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456. For some people,
maybe
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457. but not for old,
honest luther grimbley.
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458. Buddy boy,
I'm in politics.
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459. When you tell me
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460. I got to start telling
the truth all the time
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461. holy hanna!
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462. You know something?
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463. I couldn't make
a single political speech.
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464. I couldn't run
for office again.
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465. Now why don't you
sell this car
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466. to boss ryan
over at 12th ward.
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467. I'd love to hear him
tell the truth just once.
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468. Or the mayor, the mayor!
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469. Why don't you...?
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470. Hey, why not even
to this guy, huh?
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471. Who?
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472. This fella?
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473. Say, that's
not a bad idea.
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474. If you could get him
to tell the truth
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475. that might be
the greatest gag
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476. of all time.
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477. Yeah...
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478. why not, huh?
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479. Oh, boy!
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480. That would be...
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481. your reasoning seems
valid, mr. Hunnicut.
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482. It's your motives
that we're concerned...
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483. don't worry
about my motives.
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484. I bought the car
for 25 bucks
Copy !req
485. I'm selling
it for 25.
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486. Talk it over
with your boss.
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487. I believe we'll accept
your terms, mr. Hunnicut.
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488. You say $25
american money.
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489. 25 american dollars.
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490. I got the papers.
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491. Now, this is
the bill of sale
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492. the transfer of title,
the car registration.
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493. Have your boss sign all three of
them on the dotted lines there.
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494. I'm empowered to handle
the signatures myself.
Copy !req
495. Oh, no, no.
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496. The boss has to sign
them, you dig?
Copy !req
497. The boss, the boss
has to sign them.
Copy !req
498. A sort of memento
or souvenir, is that it?
Copy !req
499. Uh, yeah,
something like that.
Copy !req
500. Well, I'll see
what I can do.
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501. Here we are.
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502. And here is the money.
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503. 25 american dollars.
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504. You lucky dog, you.
Copy !req
505. You got a million bucks
worth of propaganda here
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506. you know that?
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507. Now all you have to do
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508. is to try to tell
your folks
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509. that this is the kind
of a car
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510. the average american drives.
Copy !req
511. You try and
tell them that.
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512. These are your copies,
these are mine.
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513. That does it.
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514. Your boss is now
the new owner of this car.
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515. Drive it right off, buddy boy.
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516. You drive it right off.
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517. Is this the living end!
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518. And I got
his signature right here.
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519. Nikita khrushchev.
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520. Uh, long distance?
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521. Operator, say,
if an american citizen
Copy !req
522. has something real important
in the way of news...
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523. uh, well...
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524. I mean if it affects the foreign
policy of the united states...
Copy !req
525. well, what I'd really
like to know is...
Copy !req
526. can you get me through
to jack kennedy?
Copy !req
527. Couldn't happen you say?
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528. Far-fetched, way out,
tilt-of-center?
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529. Possible, but the next time
you buy an automobile
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530. if it happens to look
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531. as if it's gone through
the battle of the marne
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532. and the seller is ready to throw
into the bargain one of his arms
Copy !req
533. be particularly careful
in explaining to the boss
Copy !req
534. about your grandmother's funeral
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535. when you were actually at chavez
ravine watching the dodgers.
Copy !req
536. It'll be a fact
that you're the proud possessor
Copy !req
537. of an instrument of truth
Copy !req
538. manufactured and distributed
by an exclusive dealer
Copy !req
539. in the twilight zone.
Copy !req
540. Rod serling, creator
of the twilight zone
Copy !req
541. will tell you
about next week's story
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542. after this word
from our alternate sponsor.
Copy !req
543. And now, mr. Serling.
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544. Next week, we bring you a show
called "the invaders"
Copy !req
545. written by mr. Richard matheson.
Copy !req
546. And in this room you'll watch
miss agnes moorehead
Copy !req
547. in a tension-riddled attempt
at escape
Copy !req
548. from a pair of very improbable
housebreakers.
Copy !req
549. This one we recommend to science
fiction buffs, fantasy lovers
Copy !req
550. or to anyone who wants to grip
the edge of his seat
Copy !req
551. and take a 24-minute trip
into the realm of terror.
Copy !req
552. Captioned by media access
group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org
Copy !req