The Twilight Zone 1x33

Directed by William Asher

Vito Scotti as Peddler • William Schallert as Policeman • Orson Bean as James B.W. Bevis • Charles Lane as Mr. Peckinpaugh • Henry Jones as J. Hardy Hempstead

After losing his job, his car and his apartment on the same day, an eccentric loser gets a new lease on life from his guardian angel, but there is a price for keeping it.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Mr. Bevis First Aired: 3 June 1960

2. You're about to enter another dimension.

3. A dimension not only of sight and sound, but of mind.

4. A journey into a wondrous land of imagination.

5. Next stop: The Twilight Zone

6. In the parlance of the 20th century, this is an oddball.

7. His name is James B.W. Bevis. His tastes lean toward stuffed animals...

8. zither music, Charles Dickens, carnivals, dogs, and young ladies.

9. Mr Bevis is accident-prone, a little vague, a little discombooberated.

10. With a life that possesses all the security of a floating crap game.

11. But this can be said of our Mr Bevis:

12. Without him, his warmth, his kindness, the world would be a poorer place.

13. Albeit perhaps a little saner.

14. Hi, Michelle. - Good morning, Mr Bevis.

15. Why not, Mr Bevis? - Why not?

16. Okay.

17. Hey, Tony. - Lovely morning, ain't it?

18. Should it not be obvious by now, James B.W. Bevis is a fixture...

19. in his own private, optimistic, hopeful little world.

20. A world which has long ceased being surprised by him.

21. Hey, come on. Come on.

22. James B.W. Bevis on whom Dame Fortune will shortly turn her back.

23. Mr James B.W. Bevis, just one block away...

24. from the Twilight Zone.

25. Tell the gentleman who occupies this museum I should like to see him...

26. when he finally deigns to report for work.

27. Hi, Earl. Hi, Dwayne. Hi, Maude. Hi, Margaret.

28. Mr Bevis, Mr Peckinpaugh wants to see you.

29. Thanks.

30. I'll be brief, Bevis. Your desk is an affront to any orderly symmetry.

31. Your eccentricities are beyond any understanding.

32. Your bringing zither music to play during the afternoon.

33. Your hiring Christmas carolers to serenade during our busiest hour.

34. Thanks.

35. The sack, Mr Bevis?

36. This is the sixth job I've lost this year, Margaret.

37. Well, the best-laid plans of mice and men and Bevis.

38. I'll help you pack.

39. I was building this for one of the kids. It's 'Old Ironsides'

40. Well, she won't get launched today. - Old Ironsides will get launched.

41. You'll get another job. You always have.

42. The only job I've held was during the last war, when I was in the Navy.

43. Here. This is me next to the fantail.

44. Oh, he's fat, isn't he? - That's the Bosun's mate.

45. This is the Fantail.

46. Yours?

47. Does it do this often? - Well, it never has before.

48. It's always been kind of like an old friend to me.

49. I'll phone for the tow truck. - Do that.

50. Would you be interested in purchasing a Rickenbacker? It's a late '24.

51. No, thanks. I kinda got my eye on a '27 Maxwell.

52. I'm gonna wait until the new models come out. Then you get a better deal.

53. Did you ever have one of those days?

54. Not like this.

55. Hi, Bud.

56. Hello, Mrs Chetfield.

57. That's right, Bevis. You're being evicted.

58. Six weeks in arrears on your rent and that's it.

59. You wanted something to fortify a man in the darkest hour. Are them it?

60. 'Those' are it. You can't use 'Them' in the nominative case.

61. Live and learn, huh? - Yep, live and learn.

62. Bartender. - You all right, bud?

63. Would you kindly tell me what are the ingredients of this drink?

64. You wanted to get fortified. It has everything but atomic energy.

65. Does that explain why I can see him in the mirror but not in the booth?

66. See who? - 'Whom.' Objective case.

67. Quite right, Mr Bevis. Whom. Objective case.

68. Well, Mr Bevis, we meet at last, eh?

69. That's very nice. Who might you be? - Whom. Objective case.

70. The name is J. Hardy Hempstead.

71. I'm your guardian angel.

72. My friend, Mr J. Hardy Hempstead. See what he's having.

73. Him?

74. And a happy Thanksgiving to you.

75. Cheers, Mr Hempstead. To better days.

76. Oh, aren't you drinking?

77. You were saying you were my...? - Guardian angel.

78. Here's the way the cookie crumbles.

79. Ages ago one of your ancestors performed an act of great courage.

80. His reward was to have a guardian angel assigned to his descendants.

81. In each generation.

82. Current subject: James B.W. Bevis. That's you.

83. In the past generations I've handled solid citizens among your progenitors.

84. For instance, Magellan Bevis.

85. An intrepid explorer of the 16th century.

86. Parnell Bevis, a member of the British parliament.

87. Who fought for home rule against insurmountable odds.

88. And more recently, gunner Lou Bevis.

89. The first marine in Nicaragua. - That's Uncle Louie.

90. I tell you what, I'll close my eyes real tight and you disappear.

91. And go away and haunt somebody else. - I am not a figment.

92. As of now, you are being watched over by the same guardian angel.

93. J. Hardy Hempstead, your servant. - Watched over?

94. Assisted by minor miracles. When the situation calls for them.

95. Getting it, Mr Bevis? Watched over.

96. Now today you were fired from what was your 11th job in 18 months.

97. Peckinpaugh didn't like zither music. - I can't say I blame him for that.

98. I can reconstitute the whole day, exactly opposite to what it was.

99. So let's go back to this morning and start all over again?

100. I can have the day to live over again and it won't be the way it was?

101. We'd change some aspects.

102. Inevitably, we'd have to change certain characteristics of your own.

103. Your clothes, for instance.

104. Are you serious?

105. I look like an undertaker.

106. If you want the day to end differently you have to change yourself.

107. Let's go. There isn't much time.

108. I want to thank you for taking this trouble with me, Mr Hempstead.

109. Hi, Michelle. - Good morning.

110. That nonsense is for the old Bevis. You are the new Bevis.

111. Coming, Mr Hempstead? - Yes, I'm coming, Mr Bevis.

112. Mrs Chetfield... Look, about the rent...

113. I found it in the box. Three weeks in advance.

114. You're a wonderful, wonderful roomer.

115. Okay there, boys. Let's go.

116. Hey, Tony. How are you, Tony?

117. Well, where's my apple? - For free, I give-a nobody nothing.

118. Bananas.

119. What are you looking for? - My car, my Rickenbacker.

120. Correction. You don't drive a Rickenbacker. That's your car.

121. That little thing? Gee, do you think it fits?

122. Live it up, will you?

123. But have you ever driven a 1924 Rickenbacker?

124. I've driven a chariot with 11 horses. I'm responsible for Ben Hur winning.

125. The old car went out with the old Bevis. You're a different person now.

126. No more bow ties, zither music and Christmas carolers in the office.

127. Though the latter idiosyncrasy met approval from the organization.

128. Shall we, Mr Bevis?

129. Sorry, pal. - You'll get on to it.

130. Look, somebody cleared off my desk. - Nothing of the kind.

131. You'll see.

132. 'morning. Maude.

133. 'morning. Margaret. - Good morning, Mr Bevis.

134. What happened to the clock I won? Where's the ship I was building?

135. What ship? I don't know what you're talking about.

136. Good morning, Bevis. Associates, one moment.

137. I want you all to share this bit of good news.

138. As of this moment, Mr James Bevis has been given a raise in salary.

139. $10 a week, starting from this very moment.

140. And I might add, your work has been admirable.

141. Since you've been here for 11 months I think it's time you got a raise.

142. A raise, Mr Peckinpaugh? - Quite right, Bevis.

143. Well, Mr Peckinpaugh... - Yes, Bevis?

144. What about the zither music? What about the Christmas carols?

145. I don't know what you're talking about.

146. You no longer have an interest in zither music or Christmas carolers.

147. 'Oh,' what, Bevis? - Nothing, Mr Peckinpaugh.

148. It looks nude. It doesn't look decent.

149. I'm going to go get a little air.

150. I got a raise. - Things are looking up for you.

151. Yeah, I guess they are. - Where are you going?

152. Oh, I'm going get a little air. Or I may go over to my place.

153. And play football with the kids in the street.

154. They won't play with you. Not anymore.

155. You're not the same Bevis.

156. I see.

157. What do you say we level, hmm?

158. What is it that you really want?

159. For a fellow like you A $10 raise is the most that I can get for you.

160. To use the vernacular. Frankly, I don't dig you.

161. I'm used to Bevises with big dreams, fantastic aspirations.

162. Magellan Bevis, sailing around the Horn.

163. Parnell Bevis, standing alone in parliament.

164. Gunner Lou Bevis, 'Semper Fidelis. Over the top, boys.'

165. 'Nobody lives forever. Let's go.'

166. I don't like to appear ungracious, but...

167. the things I like, and I believe in, they're odd, but...

168. they are worth considerably more than $10 a week.

169. So I'm to take it that you prefer the bow tie and Old Ironsides?

170. I'm afraid that seems to be the case.

171. Then it's going to be the way it was: No job, no car, no place to live?

172. It's been that way before.

173. It's complicated, is it? - Hardly.

174. Take a good look. Won't be around very long.

175. The cars will hook bumpers just as it was ordained they should.

176. Better get it over with. Here comes Peckinpaugh. And not for a raise.

177. It doesn't make a bit of difference.

178. Tell the gentleman who occupies this museum I should like to see him...

179. when he finally deigns to report for work.

180. Hi, Earl. Hi, Dwayne. Hi, Maude. Hi, Margaret.

181. Mr Bevis, Mr Peckinpaugh wants to see you.

182. Thanks.

183. You feel fortified now, pal? - I certainly do.

184. You know, I lost my job today. And my car, and I was evicted.

185. But you know what? I love zither music and model shipbuilding.

186. If you can't bring kids into an office at Christmastime to sing carols...

187. then what's the point of being alive? - Beats me.

188. Well, there is no point.

189. I'm gonna go out and try to find myself another job, and an apartment.

190. And then I'm gonna start finishing Old Ironsides.

191. For an eight years old kid, who loves model shipbuilding too.

192. $5.00, pal.

193. Still with me, Mr Hempstead?

194. Officer, officer... - Your car, mister?

195. We take a dim view of parking in front of a hydrant.

196. Still with me, huh, Mr Hempstead? - Still with you, Mr Bevis.

197. Mr James B.W. Bevis, who believes in a magic all his own.

198. The magic of a child's smile.

199. The magic of liking and being liked.

200. The strange and wondrous mysticism that is a simple act of living.

201. Mr James B.W. Bevis, specie of 20th century male...

202. who has his own private and special...

203. Twilight Zone.