The Twilight Zone 1x31

Directed by Douglas Heyes • Allan Kroeker

J. Pat O'Malley as Homburg • George Grizzard as Alan Talbot / Walter Ryder Jr. • John McIntire as Prof. A. Daemon • Rusty Wescoatt as Tall Man • Marjorie Bennett as Old Woman • Patricia Barry as Leila • John McIntire as Professor Daemon

A man, desperate to win the affection of a beautiful woman, seeks the help of an old professor, who provides him with a love potion.

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!req The Twilight Zone 1x31 [02:32]
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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. The Chaser First Aired: 13 May 1960

2. There is a fifth dimension. Beyond that which is known to man.

3. It is a dimension as vast as space.

4. And as timeless as infinity.

5. It is the middle ground between light and shadow...

6. between science and superstition.

7. And it lies between the pit of man's fears...

8. and the summit of his knowledge.

9. This is the dimension of imagination.

10. It is an area which we call: The Twilight Zone.

11. Telephone. You have a telephone? Thank you.

12. This is madness. It's impossible to make a call in New York.

13. An outrage. He's making another call. - It's only his fifth.

14. He doesn't even talk. He just dials.

15. Maybe he's got a dialect, huh?

16. Mr Roger Shackleforth. Age, youthful twenties.

17. Occupation, being in love. Not just in love, but madly, passionately.

18. Illogically, miserably, all-consumingly in love.

19. With a young woman named Leila who has a vague recollection of his face.

20. In a moment you'll see a switch. Because Mr Roger Shackleforth...

21. will take a short, but meaningful journey into the Twilight Zone.

22. Oh, I simply can't stand this. I will buy your place. $1.

23. Oh. Sold. - Thank you. Sir. $1 for your place.

24. Madame. A dollar for your place. - A first place is more expansive. $2.

25. $2? Very good. There you are. Thank you.

26. Hello. - Hello, Leila darling, it's Roger.

27. Hello, Roger.

28. What is it? - May I come to see you?

29. No, no, I can't. I couldn't bear to see anybody. I'm a mess.

30. Oh, you could never be a mess. - Listen, darling, I have to see you.

31. Roger, it's impossible. - I must see you, darling, must.

32. Furiously, fiercely must. I love you.

33. Roger, you've got to stop this. You're acting like a baby.

34. I can't see you now, and that's that. - Then, talk to me. say anything.

35. Say something?

36. All right, Roger, I'll say something.

37. Why don't you take a flying jump at the moon?

38. You've finished, haven't you? - No, she hung up on me.

39. I've got to call her back. - No, I have an emergency.

40. It won't do any good to call. I understand your problem.

41. Here's the way to solve your problem. Go and see this man right now.

42. Believe me, there is no other way. That man will help you.

43. No, excuse me. Go and see him now And your problems will be solved.

44. It's an emergency.

45. All right. Stop skulking around. - I wasn't skulking. I didn't know...

46. Common disease, not knowing if. Sit down on that pile of books.

47. Do I know you? - No, sir. As a matter of fact...

48. Then you haven't come for a bottle of the glove cleaner?

49. Glove cleaner? No. As a matter of fact...

50. Perhaps another time. You keep saying that. Come to the point.

51. I don't know why I came at all. A man gave me your card, a stranger.

52. O, yes. Satisfied former customer. - But I don't know why I came...

53. Of course you know why you came. You want what I've got.

54. But I don't know what you've got.

55. Ointments, salves, powders, remedies, nectars, lotus blossoms...

56. anti-toxins, decoctions, concoctions and potions. All guaranteed.

57. I don't need anything like that. - Well, you must, you're here.

58. Yes, but I don't need any medicine. - Yes, you do. You look feverish.

59. Well, it's sort of, you know, nothing.

60. Nothing I don't supply. Something is my specialty.

61. Anything is what you can get here.

62. You're ambitious, is that it? You want success, money, admirers?

63. No, that's not it at all. - Power. You want power.

64. No, you don't understand. All I want is Leila.

65. Yes, if I have Leila I can do all the rest myself.

66. He wants Leila. I offer him almost anything and all he wants is Leila.

67. You can't do anything about that? - That's the simplest of all.

68. The elementary parlor trick of my science. You disappoint me.

69. No, you don't understand. I'm in love with somebody named Leila.

70. But she's not in love with me... Why I'm telling you this?

71. I do. I can arrange it so she'll love you.

72. I promise you she'll never leave your side.

73. When she isn't telling you she loves you, she'll be gazing at you lovingly.

74. She won't even eat before you do. She'll do anything for you.

75. She'll worship you, she'll beg for kisses and weep for joy at your touch.

76. If in passing time you should look at another girl she'll feel hurt.

77. But she'll forgive you and love you just the same.

78. Frankly, you'd get the same shake from a cocker spaniel.

79. But that's wonderful. That's all in the world I want. My Leila's love.

80. If it isn't his Leila's love, it's his Rhea's love, or his Gwen's love.

81. Are you sure you wouldn't be interested in the glove cleaner?

82. There are many names for it including 'The Eradicator.'

83. But 'Glove cleaner' is a nice, non-descriptive title.

84. Clean, colorless, tasteless unidentifiable and sure.

85. I'm not interested in glove cleaners. - Why not?

86. It's sure, it's swift, leaves no traces. It's perfect for its purpose.

87. You're making any sense. - My boy, that's all I make.

88. Which is why I'm such a lonely man.

89. You're sure you don't want to try the glove cleaner? It's very expensive.

90. For instance this little bottle costs $1,000.

91. Are all your prices like that? - Some are, some aren't.

92. Yeah, but that thing that's gonna make Leila love me.

93. Oh, that. That's only $1.

94. Love potions are my cheapest item. And they're overpriced at that.

95. A dollar for my Leila's love? It won't hurt her?

96. If anybody gets hurt, it'll be you. But I don't expect you to believe me.

97. Put it in her drink, juice, soup, coffee, water, anything.

98. You'll get exactly what you want. - I don't believe this but I'll try it.

99. Why, I'll try anything. Thanks, professor.

100. You know, if this works, I'll be the happiest man in the world.

101. Hello, Leila. - I told you I was busy tonight.

102. Just a minute, just a little minute. Flowers, see?

103. That's very nice, Roger, thank you. Now if you'll just run along.

104. I have to see you. You don't know what it's like to love somebody.

105. To love anybody so much and so desperately. Look...

106. Champagne. Just spare me five minutes and have one drink with me.

107. Roger, you are acting like a clod.

108. A silly, stupid, sophomoric clod. - I love you.

109. Stop saying that. I...

110. All right. One drink.

111. Five minutes, and then you go.

112. I've got to put on my dress.

113. It's like... It's like millennium.

114. Well, let's get this over with.

115. Your time's up. Thank you very much for the flowers and the champagne.

116. Now, goodbye, Roger.

117. Excellent champagne, wasn't it? - It'll pass.

118. What are you looking at me like that for?

119. Well, perhaps it's my last look.

120. All right, you've had it.

121. One last little kiss? - Let's not prolong this any longer.

122. I haven't the time. Now please go. Now.

123. I don't love you. I don't want you here.

124. I don't even like you at the moment. Now please go.

125. Here.

126. That's the best I can do. And that took all my strength.

127. Roger, wait a minute.

128. Perhaps I am being cruel. I don't mean to be.

129. I know.

130. Roger.

131. Let me make it a little nicer.

132. What's happening?

133. What difference? Come here, baby.

134. Couldn't you please sit in a chair? - Oh, yes, my darling husband.

135. I'm sorry if it bothers you, I just love to kneel at your feet.

136. Well, kneel in a chair. - Okay.

137. Which chair, darling? - Any chair, it doesn't matter.

138. You want your slippers now, darling? - No, they make my feet hot.

139. If they are hot now I could soak my hands in ice water and caress them.

140. No, no, my feet are fine.

141. All right.

142. Don't you want to smoke your pipe?

143. No, it bites my tongue. It's not broken in very well.

144. I'd be happy to break it in for you. I could smoke it all day...

145. and then when you came home... - Thanks, Leila, but no thanks.

146. You're welcome.

147. Oh, darling, I'm sorry.

148. I'll get a cigarette for you in just a minute.

149. There. I should have put cigarettes in that box by your chair. Here.

150. There we go. - Thank you.

151. Shall I rub your back, darling? - You just finished rubbing my back.

152. I know, but I adore touching you and I'd be glad to rub it again.

153. Am I disturbing your reading? - No, no.

154. Did I disturb you by asking you if I was disturbing you?

155. No, no, dearest, not at all.

156. Oh, Roger. I love you, Roger.

157. I'm so happy you're you. You're just perfect.

158. I love to say 'I love you.'

159. I love to love you. - Leila, I've got to go out.

160. Out. I've got an appointment. I almost forgot.

161. Darling, will you be long? - I don't know. I may be late.

162. Would you like me to go, too? - No.

163. Why don't you stay here and hug my jacket or something?

164. Is anything wrong, Roger, darling? - No, I've got an appointment.

165. While you're gone, my love will grow and grow and when you get back...

166. Hi, there, professor.

167. Ah, yes, I've been expecting you. - You have?

168. Yes, I rather thought you'd like to hear how things turned out.

169. I know how things turned out.

170. That potion sure works. - I know, I know.

171. How are things with you?

172. Things haven't changed with me in years.

173. Ugly situation we've got with China. - You don't look so good, either.

174. Me? I'm fine. I just dropped around to tell you that things are fine.

175. I'm glad to hear it.

176. Ah, glove cleaner, huh? Do you sell much of that stuff?

177. Now and again. - By the way, what's in it?

178. No trace, no odor, no taste. No way to detect its presence. And it's sure.

179. $1,000. That's what you came for. - Me? No, not at all.

180. Painless? - It's perfect for its purpose.

181. Interesting. - She loves you as I said she would.

182. A constant love. And nothing you can do to her will change it.

183. She worships and adores you and hangs on your every word. $1,000.

184. I am going out of my ever loving mind. I can't stand it anymore.

185. Isn't there some way we can quiet it down?

186. Can't we transfer this love? To like a cocker spaniel?

187. Not a chance. She's yours.

188. She's so nice to me. She's so very good.

189. The glove cleaner is the only way.

190. Well, I can't do that.

191. There must be another way.

192. This is the way. The only way. $1,000.

193. You have no idea. All the time love. - I do know what it's like.

194. How do you think I came to invent the glove cleaner?

195. But that's all my savings. - I know. It's always that way.

196. No trace, no odor, no taste. No way to detect.

197. All right.

198. Ah, all made out, eh? One thing I must caution you about.

199. You must use it immediately, hear me? And you must use it all.

200. Why, will it spoil? - No, but you will.

201. Once you delay, you're lost.

202. If you fail the first time you'll never have courage to use it again.

203. Goodbye, professor. - Farewell.

204. Always the same way. First the stimulant...

205. then the chaser.

206. My darling.

207. I thought we ought to have a party. We're married six months like this.

208. Darling, what a lovely surprise. You went out and might be late...

209. instead you come back with champagne and flowers.

210. Can't have a party without glasses. - It's just like the first time.

211. Only this time you don't have to beg to stay.

212. Listen, why don't you sit over there and I'll bring it to you.

213. Darling, would you like to have candlelight? It's so romantic.

214. Sure. Sure. Candlelight, Shmandlelight, anything.

215. Darling, it's so wonderful being married to you.

216. I've never been so completely happy in my whole life.

217. I've lived just to love you.

218. That's nice.

219. Sweetest, how did you happen to think of the champagne?

220. It just came to me.

221. I remember the first time you brought me champagne. How you looked.

222. Your eyes were filled with love. And you watched me drink.

223. And so sadly because you thought it was going to be our last drink.

224. Remember? - I remember.

225. Lover, marshmallow, come here. Come sit next to your Leila. Come on.

226. There you go.

227. Baby bunny.

228. I've got news for you, sweet little rabbit.

229. Darling, we won't worry about it.

230. We don't need champagne. We've got each other.

231. It's all right. I couldn't have gone through with it.

232. Just think of it, darling. This is only the beginning.

233. We'll be like this for the rest of our lives. Won't we?

234. The rest of our lives.

235. Mr Roger Shackleforth, who has discovered that love can be as...

236. sticky as a vat of molasses, and as all-consuming as a fire in a haystack.

237. Case history of a lover boy, who should never have entered...

238. the Twilight Zone.