The Suite Life on Deck 2x9

1. Previously on The Suite Life On Deck.

2. Does anybody else feel like they're moving?

3. Since you used the blankets for the sail, now we have to wear this junk!

4. Uh, junk? That coat cost more than your house!

5. I'm the captain, and I say we head due west.

6. No, we should head north. Jib, ho.

7. The sail should be facing the other way.

8. Did you change our course during the night?

9. It's the only way we're going to find land!

10. A tree! A tree! Now they'll find us for sure!

11. - Bailey, I- - Don't ever speak to me again.

12. You know, we're through!

13. No word from the search parties,

14. but Mr. Tipton has redirected the Tipton TV satellites to search for the kids.

15. Oh, well, that's good.

16. Not if you're waiting to see if Liam and Tamara

17. finally get back together on Central Hospital.

18. Liam is so not right for her.

19. I know!

20. It's just, I need something to take my mind off the kids, you know?

21. - I'm worried sick. - Tell me about it.

22. Although I've been looking through this supply kit,

23. which is identical to the one on the kids' boat,

24. and they should have enough to survive for at least a week.

25. And this spinach jerky?

26. It's quite tasty.

27. Aww!

28. Now, now, Mr. Moseby. Don't cry.

29. I'm not crying, it's just the jerky is spicy!

30. It's okay. I miss them too.

31. Oh, I just can't believe it!

32. I mean, really, this should have happened to me, not the—

33. - Oh!

34. - Uh-oh!

35. Someone really needs to put a safety on those release buttons.

36. Hey, guys, I found some edible berries.

37. Wait, hey, hey!

38. Mmm! - Okay, I had a ring.

39. Sorry.

40. Okay, now we just need to find water.

41. Oh, oh, oh! Found it, found it! What do I win? Ha!

42. An all-expense-paid trip to a five-star island resort.

43. Yay. me! Yay!

44. No, I meant water we can drink.

45. The trick is to find the highest point on the island

46. and below it there may be a freshwater stream.

47. Wow, Zack, how did you know that?

48. I was the top wilderness scout in my troop.

49. I got badges for fishing, knot-tying, and saving someone's life.

50. Considering you're the one who pushed me off the pier...

51. I don't think throwing me a life preserver qualifies you as a hero.

52. That's not what the mayor said when he shook my hand.

53. Fine.

54. Mr. Hero here will take care of the water,

55. Bailey will find food and I'll tart roughing out a constitution.

56. Well, we might be here a long time.

57. Yah, thanks to you.

58. Looks like we're going to have to live off grubs and wild berries for a while.

59. You know,

60. if we're gonna be here forever, we're eventually going to have to pair up.

61. Aah!

62. She'll get used to the idea.

63. Hey, Bailey, nice-looking frame.

64. Hey, thanks, Zack. Oh, you mean this thing?

65. Wow, I thought bamboo was heavy.

66. How'd you carry it all?

67. Carrying it was easy. Cutting down the trees with my bare hands was tough.

68. Excuse me? Why is my room not ready?

69. Because I'm building it. And I could use a little help.

70. I've never heard of a five-star resort

71. where guests are required to construct their own rooms.

72. What are you talking about? This isn't a five-star resort.

73. You got downgraded? I'm not surprised.

74. The service here is terrible. Until my room is ready,

75. I'll be at the spa.

76. You do that.

77. What's going on with London?

78. I think she took me seriously when I told her she'd won a vacation

79. to a five-star island resort.

80. Come on. That's out there even for her.

81. Actually, I think this whole situation is so traumatic for her

82. that in order to cope she's convinced herself

83. that she's staying at a resort and we're all here to wait on her.

84. Oh, so it's just like usual.

85. It's all my fault.

86. I came on too strong.

87. We've gotta snap her out of it.

88. No, that could be psychologically worse.

89. Besides, I'd rather have her happy in her world than complaining in mine.

90. Good point.

91. Excuse me, good sir, where are the boutiques?

92. Oh, right this way. we have some lovely grass skirts,

93. grass shirts, grass pants—

94. - Grass is really in this year. - Ooh, "grass-ias!"

95. Cody, pick up that bamboo so we can break it in half.

96. Okay.

97. Don't you think Bailey is being unreasonable?

98. No, we all hate you. Now, put it down on that rock.

99. - She's coming over here. - Ow!

100. Oh, she was just grabbing some more bamboo.

101. Ow!

102. Cody, put the bamboo down!

103. Okay. No need to be testy.

104. No, no, more pressure on your side.

105. Hey, guys, need some help breaking bamboo?

106. - No, no, no, Woody! - No!

107. I hate staying at hotels near the airport.

108. Penny for your thoughts.

109. We're gonna die out here.

110. The worst penny I ever spent.

111. I'm never gonna get married.

112. I'm never gonna have children!

113. Please, you're in your mid-30s, not dating,

114. it wasn't gonna happen anyway.

115. Oh, yeah?

116. Well, good luck getting a date wearing those stupid shorts and knee socks!

117. Okay, all right!

118. - Bickering is going to get us nowhere. - We are nowhere!

119. - And it's all your fault! - All right, just calm down!

120. Look, we both work on the ship.

121. - And my job is very important.

122. And so I am sure that the crew has noticed my absence

123. and they're working feverishly to rescue us.

124. Hey, hey, hey!

125. Has anybody seen Mr. Moseby?

126. No!

127. Then, party on!

128. What are you doing?

129. I'm arranging the sand to make an ergonomically-correct bed.

130. It will support my lumbar without stressing my sciatic nerve.

131. Oh, yeah, I wouldn't want your back to get an owie.

132. Oh, oh, and don't worry about me.

133. I just got beaten by bamboo and slammed into that mountain.

134. Your body may be broken, but at least your heart is whole.

135. I miss Bailey.

136. Here we go.

137. Just tell her the three words every woman wants to hear:

138. "I was wrong."

139. So I should apologize for saving her life?

140. - Yes. - Okay.

141. Hey, hey, dude!

142. Not right now. I mean, she's probably fast asleep.

143. I built her a really comfy bed.

144. You...?

145. You built my girlfriend a bed?

146. It was the least I could do. She wove me a basket.

147. I'm gonna talk to her.

148. I'm tired.

149. London wanted to ride a horsie on the beach.

150. My back is killing me!

151. Yeah, whatever, Seabiscuit. Did you see Bailey?

152. - Yeah. - Did she say anything about me?

153. Yeah,

154. but my Mommy says I'm not supposed to use words like that.

155. This is awesome.

156. - Cool! Let me try! - Ho, ho, ho...

157. Ow, ow! You're stepping on my stomach! Ah!

158. Sorry about that.

159. - Sorry.

160. And there we go!

161. At least you sleep with your clothes on.

162. Bet you wish you were in a comfy cozy sand bed like me.

163. Wow, first time your bed got wet and it wasn't your fault!

164. Your fashion magazines, madam. And look, you're on the cover.

165. Yay, me! Ooh, look, perfume samples!

166. Could you have a word with this lazy maid?

167. She didn't turn down my bed last night.

168. And you forgot to put a mint on my pillow.

169. Oh, I'm sorry.

170. Here's your mint.

171. - Mmm.

172. Crunchy.

173. And I love the squirty center.

174. It's, like, dancing on my tongue.

175. Hi, Bailey. I brought us some edible tree bark.

176. You know, it's not that bad.

177. What are we, termites?

178. Fear not, castaways! Tonight we eat like kings!

179. All hail, sir Zack!

180. Zack, you are so awesome!

181. If I had to be stranded on a desert island with someone, I am so glad it's you!

182. Ahh! Now doesn't my pocket hanky make the perfect sail?

183. Once the wind picks up, we'll be slicing through the waves.

184. Yep, we're really moving now.

185. Meanwhile, maybe we should set a course to the north!

186. Ah, I beg to differ. Due to the south-pacific subtropical gyre

187. and the Coriolis effect, we should sail due west.

188. I don't think the Coriolis effect applies here.

189. Ho!

190. Please, Emma.

191. I have been at sea longer than you.

192. Well, Marion,

193. I happen to teach geography, and for three months

194. I was the weather girl at W.I.M.P.,

195. where northeast Vermont turns for news.

196. Teaching and telling 10 people it's going to snow again..

197. That doesn't qualify you to make a life-or-death decision.

198. Right. Not like you, with your vast experience

199. dancing with old women and refereeing shuffleboard matches.

200. The rules of shuffleboard happen to be very complex.

201. - You know, just get over there! - You get over!

202. - Leave me alone! - Leave you alone!

203. Cody? Cody?

204. Go away.

205. Dude, what are you doing?

206. Testing my trap.

207. It works.

208. Dude, don't worry about trapping anything.

209. I got dinner covered.

210. Of course you've got dinner covered.

211. And breakfast and you build huts and find water and make beds!

212. Man, what's next? A bowling alley?

213. That was supposed to be a surprise.

214. No wonder Bailey's falling for you.

215. What?

216. Don't play innocent with me.

217. I saw you guys being romantic together.

218. Laughing, hugging, gutting fish.

219. So you're suggesting that I have something going on with Bailey?

220. Yes. You've been making me look bad every chance you get.

221. Dude, you're doing that all on your own.

222. And I would never go after your ex-girlfriend.

223. There are rules about those things.

224. I'd wait the standard three months.

225. You know what, do it whenever you want.

226. The point is, you're gonna end up with Bailey,

227. London's probably gonna fall for Woody,

228. and I'm gonna end up all alone with Skully.

229. Who's Skully?

230. Her!

231. At least I hope it's a her!

232. Dude, you're not going to end up with a skeleton.

233. And you can get Bailey back.

234. How?

235. For one thing, stop trying to be me.

236. Bailey did not fall in love with you because you're some suave,

237. manly, athletic, outdoors type.

238. Thanks. I feel so much better now.

239. She fell in love with you because you're one of those sensitive brainiac guys.

240. She did use to call me her little egghead.

241. Wow, that's love, Humpty Dumpty.

242. Try to impress her with the one muscle that you have:

243. right here.

244. Well, technically the brain is a complex system

245. - of protoplasmic fibers- - Ahem!

246. - I see what you mean. Thanks, Zack. - No problem.

247. Coming.

248. Ooh, not too short, Felipe! I like it flouncy.

249. Please, would you tell Picasso how to paint?

250. Of course not. My butler deals with the workmen.

251. So can you believe what's going on with that frumpy country maid

252. and that scrawny blonde bus-boy?

253. I don't like to gossip,

254. but girl, the whole island's talking about it!

255. Talking about what?

256. Nothing.

257. Ooh, time for my pedicure!

258. That was drinking water that I carried three miles through a colony of...

259. fire ants!

260. Ooh, someone's angling for a bigger tip.

261. Here's a couple of clams.

262. Guys, come quick!

263. Cody wants us all down at the cove right now. Come!

264. I can't go down there! My nails are wet.

265. Felipe, get my horsie.

266. Whoa, Diablo!

267. Good horsie.

268. Cody, what are you doing?

269. He's made wings.

270. Ooh, do they come with bleu-cheese dip?

271. Not those kind of wings. I've constructed a human-powered ornithopter.

272. Wait, this resort has a dinosaur ride?

273. See those cumulus clouds? They indicate thermals.

274. If I can catch one, I should get the lift required to soar for miles.

275. I'll navigate my way back to civilization and bring help.

276. Cody, there's no way you can do that.

277. Yes, I can. Finally my sparrow-like bones will be an asset.

278. It's too dangerous.

279. - Eh, he's got a helmet. - Eh!

280. It's working!

281. It didn't work.

282. Cody?

283. I broke my coconut.

284. I'm such a loser.

285. No, you're not.

286. That is the bravest and most daring thing I've ever seen any man do.

287. You may have wings, but you're no chicken.

288. Oh, Bailey, does this mean you forgive me?

289. Only if you forgive me!

290. No, you had every right to be mad. I should have listened to you.

291. I shouldn't have gone against the group.

292. Well, you did land us safely on this island.

293. And I'm sure you'll come up with another idea to help us.

294. No. I think I'm just full of hot air.

295. Wait a minute!

296. I just thought of another way to get us off this island.

297. I'll bring the first-aid kit.

298. So, how exactly is a balloon made of London's clothes going to fly?

299. This crank starts the battery

300. which powers the fan which blows hot air into the balloon,

301. thus creating a density differential,

302. lifting the basket and carrying us to safety.

303. Or certain death.

304. Ooh, ooh! Hot-air ballooning! This place has everything!

305. I think I'll wear my red sundress.

306. Uh, I think I'd just go with what you're wearing.

307. Well, the basket's ready. Everyone hop in.

308. Ooh, does this balloon have first class?

309. Right this way.

310. Ooh, I want a window seat!

311. They're all window seats.

312. So when this puppy takes off, which way are we headed?

313. - West. - North.

314. Uh, I mean north.

315. Cody, I'd go in any direction with you. But north is right.

316. I'd never argue with my little compass of love.

317. That's it. I'm swimming.

318. Come on!

319. - Ready? Set? go!

320. - Whoo! Got it!

321. Yay!

322. Ooh, we're up so high, those people look like ants down there!

323. We're still on the ground. Those are ants!

324. Hi, ants!

325. This is gonna work!

326. Whoo! Yay!

327. Ooh!

328. - Yay!

329. We're gonna be saved!

330. I must really miss London because that cloud

331. looks like a balloon made of her clothing! Hi!

332. And I must really miss the kids

333. because it looks like they're in a basket beneath that cloud.

334. Oh, we made it. We're home!

335. All those years of butter churning finally paid off!

336. Zack, you can open your eyes now.

337. We're alive?

338. I can't believe this floating bucket of death actually worked!

339. I never doubted you, bro!

340. Whee!

341. I missed you all!

342. Buffet!

343. Oh!

344. Thank goodness we're off that miserable little piece of sand.

345. Wait a minute.

346. The whole time you knew it wasn't a resort?

347. And you did all that just to get out of doing work?

348. Bingo.

349. You know, that girl is a lot smarter than we give her credit for.

350. Then again, she did eat a bug.

351. - By the way, here's your bug back.

352. I can't believe she's mad.

353. I mean, you'd think she'd be grateful to me

354. for saving her from a watery grave, but no!

355. You're not gonna believe this, but I think the kids were on this island

356. - and they were rescued. - How do you know?

357. "Dear management, I'm leaving this resort and never returning.

358. The service was awful, although the mints were delicious."

359. Don't you think it was our London?

360. Yes, I'm positive. She spelled mints "M-I-N-Z."

361. So I guess we're stuck here.

362. Oh, well, don't you worry, Emma. I was a wilderness scout troop leader.

363. Stick with me and you'll be safe.

364. Uh, a little help?

365. Let's see... no.

366. Uh...