The Suite Life on Deck 2x24

Amro Salama as Youssef • Matthew Willig as Genie • Matthew Timmons as Woody Fink

Cody wants to buy earrings for Bailey, but Zack insists he bargain with the cashier for a better price. Meanwhile, London, Bailey, Marcus, and Woody discover a magic lamp that contains a genie willing to grant wishes, causing them to argue over which wishes should be granted.

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1. I cannot wait until we dock in Morocco.

2. I want to visit the Kasbah of the Udayas in Rabat

3. and experience 5,000 years of culture and history.

4. And I want to buy a bellybutton jewel that sparkles.

5. As we say in the desert, "What's up, dunes?"

6. Cody, I see you're wearing your grizzly scout uniform.

7. Are you going for your dork badge?

8. Mock me if you will, but this will keep me cool in the hot Arabian sun.

9. You couldn't be cool if you were wearing ice cube underpants.

10. Or ice in the pants.

11. Actually, they're surprisingly comfortable.

12. Good day. I want you all to know that I am planning

13. a Moroccan feast on the sky deck tonight.

14. - That sounds great. - For passengers only.

15. Technically we are passengers.

16. - Paying passengers. - Technically we are paying.

17. Oh, just don't come.

18. London, you bought so much stuff, you need a camel to carry it.

19. No I don't. I've got these two humps.

20. Can't feel my arms.

21. Just put that stuff on the back seat of the Jeep.

22. So where are we supposed to sit?

23. Uh, that's a you problem.

24. Look at these earrings. They're gorgeous.

25. Wow, they look great on you.

26. Really? Thanks, London.

27. Yeah, they draw the attention away from your facial flaws.

28. You insulted me on a new continent.

29. Uh, excuse me, sir. I'm interesting in these earrings.

30. Ah, good eye. They are one of a kind and only 500 dirham.

31. Uh, that's $50.

32. Sorry, I can't afford that.

33. That's like 1,000 bags of manure.

34. Shopping with you is embarrassing.

35. I'll take these.

36. Bailey wants those earrings.

37. I'm gonna buy them for her.

38. Why? She's already your girlfriend.

39. Why don't you buy them for her?

40. Hey there.

41. Bailey and I always get each other romantic gifts.

42. Last week, she got me a microscope slide of a two-headed paramecium

43. Aw, for valentine's day, why don't you give her a swab from your cheek?

44. Five hundred dirham will clear me out, but Bailey's worth it.

45. Easy there, hot pants.

46. That's not how they operate here.

47. You have to haggle. It's tradition. Watch.

48. Uh, sir, it's your lucky day.

49. You're about to unload those earrings.

50. - Ah, goody for me. - Yes.

51. My brother here is prepared to offer you 100 dirham.

52. I laugh. Ha-ha. See?

53. One hundred dirham won't buy you a bucket of camel spit.

54. But 200 will.

55. Ew, that won't look good dangling from Bailey's ears.

56. If you want the earrings, the price is 500.

57. Well, we'll offer you 125.

58. Aah, you insult me, you insult my family.

59. I put a curse on you and your descendants for 10,000 years.

60. How about 400?

61. Now I laugh. Ha-ha. See? Forget it.

62. What are you doing?

63. Now I have no earrings and a curse on my head.

64. Hey, hey, don't worry. He'll call us back any second.

65. He's sitting down to start a crossword puzzle.

66. If you go back over there, I have a four-letter word for sucker:

67. Cody.

68. Wow, check out this lamp.

69. Hey, if we all chip in we can buy it for Mr. Moseby.

70. And maybe he'll let us go to the Moroccan feast.

71. Feast? I'm in.

72. I'll chip in too. But I have to save three dirham for a trip to the pay toilet.

73. I've had five cans of Camel Cola,

74. which I hope is a brand name and not actual liquid that came from a camel.

75. So, London, are you in?

76. Why should I get something for Moseby? I mean, what has he ever done for me?

77. Raised you like you were his own daughter.

78. Look at me. I'm selfish and spoiled. He did a terrible job.

79. Fine. But tomorrow I'm gonna be extra selfish.

80. Time to try out my new flying carpet.

81. Open sesame.

82. Woody, I hate to break it to you,

83. but there's no such thing as a flying carpet.

84. Oh, yeah? Then why did the guy charge me an extra 200 for my pilot's license?

85. Because you're dumb as a bag of sand?

86. Oh yeah, and I'm sure the insurance I bought was fake too.

87. Time for a test flight.

88. And go!

89. Up, up and away.

90. Hey, someone got hummus on the lamp.

91. Hey, someone got lamp on my hummus.

92. Mmm, this hummus is good.

93. But I do wish I had a hamburger.

94. Gasp! Your wish came true.

95. The lamp is magical!

96. Bacon, cheese, spicy mustard. The burger is magical too.

97. Woody, it's just a coincidence that kid decided to drop his burger

98. off the rail at that moment.

99. Do you know how long I've wished for food to fall from the sky?

100. And it's finally happened.

101. Aw, you're crazy.

102. I can prove to you that this lamp isn't magic.

103. All right.

104. I wish the sun would disappear from the sky, ha-ha-ha.

105. See? Nothing happened.

106. What?

107. Ooh! You made the sun disappear.

108. Oh, relax.

109. It's just London's clothing blimp passing in front of the sun.

110. Marcus, tell them they're being silly.

111. I believe. I believe.

112. I bow down before the magic lamp.

113. And suddenly I'm on the good ship loony-pop.

114. Hello. I'm back

115. And I am prepared to pay 400 dirham for those earrings.

116. Good for you. But I just sold them.

117. What?

118. In my country we have an ancient saying:

119. "He who waits for the chicken to jump into the fire has to order out for pizza."

120. Now please move along. Your sad boo-hoo face is bad for business.

121. This stinks.

122. I wanted to get Bailey something she would love and cherish

123. as much as I love Tevye and Scott.

124. Who?

125. The two-headed paramecium.

126. Well, man, you win some, you lose some.

127. Next time don't be so cheap and just pay the man.

128. Ah! Ah! Cobra in the basket!

129. Cobra in the basket!

130. - Can you see the genie? - Yes!

131. He has curly hair and glasses

132. and little bits of hot dog stuck in his braces.

133. That's me. Open your other eye.

134. Oh. Ooh, it's dark in the lamp.

135. The genie must be sleeping.

136. Wake up! I'm ready to wish!

137. Why should you get the last wish?

138. Because you two already got your wishes.

139. Hamburger and unholy darkness.

140. Those don't count. They were test wishes.

141. But I didn't get a test wish.

142. Because you hate tests.

143. Good point.

144. So since we all paid for the lamp equally,

145. the last wish should be something we all need.

146. Forty I.Q. points?

147. But we're never gonna agree on the same wish.

148. One of us should get the wish.

149. Oh, let's have Bailey decide.

150. Oh, joy.

151. There. I'm sure you'll pick someone who's worthy

152. and not someone who is always mean to you.

153. or someone who's gonna use the last wish for the world's largest burrito.

154. How did you know what I was gonna wish for?

155. Because I read your letter to Santy Claus.

156. That's personal.

157. Thank goodness so many people sell anti-venom.

158. Yeah, I noticed you paid full price for that.

159. The guy did pry the cobra off my neck.

160. Meanwhile, no one else in this entire bazaar

161. is selling the same pair of earrings.

162. I guess they really were one of a kind.

163. Turns out 500 is a pretty good deal.

164. Whatever. I guess I'll just get this instead.

165. You sure Bailey will like that?

166. Oh, it's not for Bailey.

167. Ah, boys, yallah.

168. I have found one more pair of those earrings.

169. I saved them just for you.

170. Oh, that's fantastic.

171. They're exactly like the other pair.

172. Well, there is one little difference.

173. Really? What?

174. These cost twice as much.

175. One thousand dirham.

176. Don't worry, I think I can get him down to 850.

177. Get off me!

178. I don't have that kind of money.

179. Thanks for ruining everything as always.

180. Your brother is emotional, like little girl.

181. Oh, no, he's not.

182. He's way worse than a little girl.

183. But he's my brother, so—

184. Is there anything I can do to get you to lower the price?

185. Well, actually there may be one thing.

186. - My mother— - So what are we talking?

187. She wants to open her own food booth

188. but is worried tourists won't like her cooking.

189. What do you have in mind?

190. Just taste it and tell her it's good.

191. Do this, I'll lower the price.

192. I guess I can do it. What does she make, falafel?

193. Uh, no.

194. But you'll feel awful afterwards.

195. Oh, meatballs.

196. No, eyeballs. Goat eyeballs to be exact.

197. You can't eat just one.

198. Oh!

199. So, Bailey, did you decide who gets the last wish?

200. By the way,

201. I think this cash fell out of your overalls.

202. You can't bribe her.

203. - Yeah, that's not fair. - Why not?

204. I'm trying to sleep in here.

205. I told you the genie was asleep.

206. You're a genie?

207. No, I'm a lawyer wearing a turban.

208. Well, how did you get in there?

209. Let's just say don't ever date a sorceress and dump her.

210. Good to know.

211. So who's making a wish here?

212. Tick tock.

213. I don't know who should get the last wish.

214. Run them by me and I'll give you a little preview of how they'd turn out.

215. You first.

216. Well, I wish I had my own successful record label

217. and worldwide empire.

218. From Lil' Little sneakers to Lil' Little low-fat salad dressings.

219. Nice.

220. I haven't heard that one since P. Diddy found me.

221. Lil' Little up in hiz-house!

222. Or, should I say, up on the skizz-eye dizzeck.

223. Who wants some salad dressing?

224. Try my bomb-salmic and my black eyed cheese.

225. And my honey, it's on.

226. Ooh.

227. Oh, you could have left me one girl.

228. Let's check out Woody's wish.

229. Oh, okay.

230. Oh, yeah. Hmm.

231. I wish I had my bulldog Meatball's life.

232. I just want to eat, sleep and leave a slobber trail without being criticized.

233. What is this mutt doing out here?

234. Don't do that! You're in a public place.

235. Whoa there.

236. Good boy. Sit.

237. Heel. Speak.

238. You got a biscuit? I want a biscuit.

239. I want a biscuit.

240. Woody, here boy. Who wants a biscuit?

241. Where's my biscuit?

242. Oh, my turn. My turn.

243. All I wish for is everything!

244. What was that?

245. Me granting your wish.

246. But I don't feel any different.

247. That's because you already have everything.

248. Oh yeah, you're right. That's true.

249. So, Bailey, you sure you don't want to make a wish?

250. Well, now that I know that you're real, maybe I will make a wish.

251. You're right, Bailey. You deserve the wish.

252. You're so pretty and sweet and so well-dressed.

253. Okay, this is so a dream.

254. - What are you doing? - I'm trying to wake myself up.

255. Oh, I'll help.

256. Ahh!

257. Wake up!

258. I just had the weirdest dream.

259. And you were there and you were there

260. And you were there.

261. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you decided who gets the wish?

262. Maybe she already used the last wish on herself.

263. No, she didn't. Look at her.

264. Same hideous hair, same hideous clothes, uneven ears.

265. What?

266. Okay, the truth is none of you deserve this lamp.

267. I'm gonna take the last wish and put it to good use.

268. Stop her before she wishes for something stupid like world peace.

269. Delish.

270. I especially like the caramelized ear kebabs.

271. although they were a little waxy.

272. Okay, I've eaten every part of the goat except the bell.

273. Wow, you must really love your brother.

274. It almost makes me want to contact my brother.

275. Except that he is a filthy dog.

276. I hate you, Achmed!

277. How about you just sell me the earrings before I get an unwanted haircut?

278. I will, right after you try mama's dessert.

279. Ew, what's that green stuff? Camel boogers?

280. No, this is mint ice cream.

281. Spoon please.

282. Mmm, fantastic. I especially like the chocolate chips.

283. Oh, those aren't chocolate chips.

284. They are beetles. Eat fast or they try to scurry out of your mouth.

285. It's actually kind of cute.

286. What distance!

287. Ah, I hope you are enjoying the dance of the seven veils.

288. Oh, eight.

289. Oh, here we go.

290. You know, I was a ballet dancer, you're a belly dancer.

291. Belly, ballet, belly, ballet— Ow!

292. I pulled a belly muscle.

293. I will not let you waste this lamp's power on your stupid wishes.

294. Oh, we'll see about that.

295. London, where'd you learn that?

296. It's a self-defense technique I learned with my personal shopper.

297. - It's called shoe-jitsu. - Get her!

298. Big dog!

299. Another big dog!

300. What is going on here?

301. We need that lamp so we can get the genie out and make our last wish.

302. Why do I keep asking?

303. Now it's mine.

304. - Stop! - Get him!

305. I wish— Whoa!

306. I hadn't tripped on that couscous.

307. Cody, you got the lamp.

308. Yeah, I guess.

309. I just wish I had the earrings I wanted to give you.

310. No!

311. Maybe the lamp doesn't work for him.

312. - Oh, yeah. - Cody,

313. You forgot the earrings you bought Bailey.

314. "Maybe the lamp doesn't work for him." Goof.

315. Bailey, these are for you.

316. Cody, I've never seen anything so beautiful.

317. Clearly there's not a mirror in that box.

318. Ow!

319. Thank you. I love them.

320. Zack, I can't believe you got those.

321. - Thank you. - Well, you're my brother.

322. I don't want us to wind up throwing knives at each other.

323. That might just be the nicest thing you've ever said to me.

324. So did you finally bargain the guy down?

325. Yup, to 500 dirham.

326. Wasn't that the original price?

327. Maybe, but he also threw in this.

328. - The camel spit? - No, just the bucket.

329. Ew!

330. Hey, Mr. Moseby. Nice lamp.

331. Thank you. It was a gift.

332. - London said it was a magic lamp. - Well, is it?

333. Nope. You're still here.

334. Cody, I really love these earrings.

335. Thanks. They're one of a kind.

336. Just like you.

337. Oh, this looks good.

338. The pastilla is delicious.

339. It reminds me of my grammy's mincemeat pie.

340. I sure wish I had some.

341. Oh, Miss Pickett.

342. This just arrived air express.

343. Grammy's mincemeat pie?

344. Genie?

345. Actually it's Gino.

346. Hey, are you winking at my girlfriend?

347. Sorry, man. Don't hit me. I'm a bleeder.

348. Ha!

349. Yeah, you'd better run.