The Suite Life on Deck 2x13

Directed by

Brittany Ross as Capri Davis • Matthew Timmons as Woody Fink

Zack, Marcus, and Woody create a fake beauty pageant so they can meet girls. When Mr. Moseby learns of their plans, he punishes them by forcing them to see it through. Meanwhile, Bailey enters the pageant to try to beat London and hires Cody as her coach, but gets mad at him when he becomes too controlling.

Request examples:

!req The Suite Life on Deck 2x13 [02:32]
!req The Suite Life on Deck 2x13 [The Suite Life on Deck 2x13]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req The Suite Life on Deck 2x13 [10-11]; !req The Suite Life on Deck 2x13 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
You can also generate a copy command with the quotes. Hover the desired subtitle and enter the amount of lines you want to copy.

Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. That one's cute.

2. Yeah, yeah, she is.

3. Eh, but check out her suitcase.

4. Luggage locks, that means she's suspicious and cautious.

5. I'm looking for naive and vulnerable.

6. There's so much to learn from you!

7. Now, focus. These girls are only here for a week.

8. Ooh, okay, okay.

9. How about that one? Cute, blonde,

10. nice legs... and carrying a textbook.

11. Repressed bookworm, badly in need of a good time.

12. That's Cody!

13. The Miss Tipton beauty pageant.

14. This might be my greatest idea yet.

15. And I invented Hoagie-on-a-Rope!

16. Yeah! The "Meal-dallion" was inspired.

17. And this is gonna be even better.

18. See, all the girls will send in a photo and an application,

19. making it easy to weed out the ones not worth pursuing.

20. Then we just cancel the whole thing and they'll never even know we were involved.

21. Come on! No girl on earth dumb enough to fall for this.

22. A beauty pageant!

23. And I'm beauty-full!

24. The Miss Tipton pageant? Is that even a real thing?

25. Of course it's real!

26. I mean, if it wasn't, would we have a celebrity judge?

27. - A celebrity? Who? - Yeah, who?

28. Li'l Little.

29. - Marcus? - Yeah.

30. You know, Li'l Little?

31. I can explain.

32. You started a fake beauty pageant to meet girls

33. and told them I'm judging to make it seem legit?

34. Okay, you can explain.

35. All right, I'm in.

36. - You are? - Just like that?

37. Yeah, it's a chance to meet cute girls.

38. And I assume you'll provide the perks I always get for a personal appearance.

39. I think we can do that.

40. Great. I'll have my people fax over the list.

41. Uh, you don't have any people anymore.

42. You're my people. Go fax... yourself.

43. Excuse me!

44. I don't understand question number four.

45. "What is your 'ick'?"

46. That's "I.Q."

47. Oh!

48. This is gonna be awesome!

49. Hey, London.

50. Why are you packing up my things?

51. Oh, I need to make a tiara shelf.

52. I'm gonna win the Miss Tipton beauty pageant.

53. Then, I'll go on to Miss America and then, Miss Universe.

54. And that one should be easy because aliens are ugly!

55. But, that's my shelf.

56. What do you need a tiara shelf for?

57. You enter a beauty contest, the only thing they'll put on your head is a paper bag.

58. Well, I guess there's no danger of you winning Miss Congeniality!

59. Bailey, come quick.

60. There's some eukaryotic algae blooming off the portside.

61. It's bilaterally symmetric.

62. I have something a little more exciting than plankton.

63. I seriously doubt it.

64. I am entering...

65. the Miss Tipton beauty pageant.

66. Ah! And to protest, you're going to undermine the entire event

67. by wearing an ugly dress

68. and avoiding all the trappings of conventional female beauty?

69. Excuse me?

70. Because that certainly is not going to work with that super-cute dress

71. and your effortless good looks. I love you.

72. Look, I'm just sick of London always putting me down.

73. If I beat her, she won't have a leg to stand on.

74. I thought you'd find beauty pageants sexist and demeaning to women.

75. Pageants are about more than beauty. You can win scholarships.

76. Plus, they judge you on talent, poise, personality—

77. Oh, I know. I've been in a beauty pageant before.

78. You mean like for men?

79. Y— no.

80. Hey, don't judge me. When I met you, you were a dude.

81. Do you really think I can beat London?

82. With my help, absolutely.

83. Now, let's see your walk.

84. You want to see me walk? I'm pretty sure I've got this part down.

85. Okay, no, we're trying to win a pageant,

86. not audition for March of the Penguins.

87. Now, let's see it with your pageant shoes.

88. I do not walk like a penguin!

89. Please. Any minute now I expect to see you sliding down a glacier on your belly.

90. Will you look? I'm taller than you! Just like last semester.

91. Just walk.

92. Bam! You're eliminated.

93. You have to own your shoes.

94. Except when you're bowling, right? Then, you can rent your shoes.

95. Pbbt. Okay, less joking, more walking.

96. Now, heel, toe. Heel, toe. More smiling. Dazzle me.

97. Yikes!

98. First the penguin, now the Joker— someone should call Batman.

99. Take it easy, Capri.

100. I can't believe they canceled the beauty pageant!

101. I know. Darn them.

102. And you so would have won.

103. - Really? You think? - Mm-hm.

104. I had my victory wave all ready.

105. Wow, what a wave!

106. Now, how about we go get some dinner?

107. I've got some cash burning a hole in my pocket.

108. Your money's on fire?

109. I love you.

110. There is an art to folding the pocket hanky.

111. Now, do exactly what I do.

112. Gently caress the hanky,

113. as though caring for a wounded dove.

114. Then, in one fluid motion

115. you... snap his neck!

116. Creating the ultimate in elegant haberdashery.

117. - Moseby, I am not in a good mood! - And I am holding a class!

118. Well, you will be holding a sign that says "will manage for food"!

119. Now, now, whatever it is you're upset about, I'm sure we can fix.

120. How dare you cancel the beauty pageant?

121. Beauty pageant?

122. No, no, no.

123. There's no beauty pageant.

124. Then, why did every pretty girl on the ship hand in an application form

125. with their name, photo and what they like in a guy?

126. Zack!

127. What the heck is this?

128. I said a magenta hat.

129. This is cranberry.

130. Are you trying to make me look like a chump?

131. You are such a diva.

132. You know, other divas look at you and say, "Wow, what a diva."

133. Well, his diva days are over.

134. The pageant is canceled.

135. Ahem.

136. Or so I hear. I don't really keep up on events I had nothing to do with.

137. Don't even try it!

138. I know everything.

139. Oh, yeah? What number am I thinking of?

140. Pizza.

141. Wow!

142. A fake beauty pageant? I mean, this is a new low, even for you, Zack!

143. Is that what these two hooligans have been up to?

144. Yeah, nice try, "Mr. Celebrity-Judge."

145. And to think I mistook you for stylish and jaunty.

146. Jaunty!

147. Mr. Moseby, chill.

148. We've seen the error of our ways

149. and that's why we put this whole incident behind us and canceled the whole thing.

150. It's too late. Now, I have a bunch of disappointed girls on my hands.

151. Oh, come on, it can't be the first time.

152. I'm talking about the contestants

153. from your pageant, which, by the way, I'm un-canceling.

154. really? - Mm-hm.

155. And the three of you will be the judges of those girls.

156. Really? - Let's not get too excited,

157. because you will be responsible for setup, clean up

158. and, if the girls get nervous, throw up.

159. Really? Mm-hm.

160. And to be impartial, there will be absolutely no contact

161. of any kind with any of the girls before, during or after the pageant.

162. Really?

163. Really.

164. All right, now that the pageant's back on,

165. we have to make up for lost time. Let's have a look-see.

166. Wow.

167. Gown is perfect. Hair's a little high.

168. Just don't stand under any ceiling fans.

169. I feel silly.

170. And this petroleum jelly on my teeth tastes gross.

171. But, it makes it impossible to stop smiling.

172. And you have such a beautiful smile.

173. - Really? - Yeah, and, uh, good thing too.

174. It helps draw the eye away from your poor posture.

175. I do not have poor posture.

176. Oh, please. You look like you should be ringing a bell at Notre Dame.

177. - Huh? - Aha.

178. All right, perfect. Let's talk talent.

179. Got it covered. I'm going to be singing a song that I wrote.

180. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

181. You know what would go really well with this?

182. - What? - A sash that says "loser."

183. Everyone's going to sing. It's so common.

184. You need to do something that no other girl would ever think of doing.

185. You mean like be your girlfriend?

186. Oh, well, then I guess I just won't be your coach anymore.

187. Good, fine. I'll win this pageant without you.

188. - You'll see! - I won't see because I'm not going.

189. I really wish I could stop smiling.

190. Marcus, you can straighten up now.

191. I wish I could! I've got a knot in my back the size of a guinea pig.

192. - Ow! - Okay, you know,

193. I told you guys I can't sew!

194. I mean, there's more blood on those sashes than there is in my body.

195. Hi, Zack. I hear you're judging the pageant.

196. I would be so grateful if I won.

197. Good to know.

198. I'm ready to vote.

199. No fraternizing with the contestants.

200. I wasn't going to fraternize until the third date.

201. This stinks.

202. I haven't talked to a girl in a month.

203. We've only been working the pageant for two days.

204. Yeah, what's your point?

205. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the first annual Miss Tipton Pageant.

206. Now, put your hands together and let's meet our lovely contestants.

207. We have discount travel off-season.

208. Two for $99.50.

209. If you'd like to make a reservation, just dial 8.

210. Boop.

211. Quit shoving. This is a beauty pageant,

212. not a cow-tipping contest.

213. Hey, when I see them, I tip them.

214. Winner of the evening gown competition...

215. Obviously Capri.

216. Are you crazy? London's dress is made of silk

217. interwoven with 200 carats of rare pink diamonds.

218. Plus she called me her little boo boo.

219. And thus by balancing classic Keynesian economics

220. with the best of Malthusian theory,

221. we can decrease third-world debt while increasing our gross domestic product.

222. Boring!

223. I love puppies!

224. Okay, London, if you could have any historical figure for dinner,

225. who would it be and why?

226. Good question.

227. But, I would not have anyone for dinner

228. because I feel that eating people is wrong.

229. Even if they are historical and already dead,

230. it just seems gross. Thank you.

231. Okay... It's— It's not exactly the answer we were looking for.

232. Oh, fine! Santa Claus.

233. I bet he tastes like candy canes and pudding.

234. Whoo!

235. London, whoo!

236. Now let's continue the talent portion of our competition.

237. Ah, Capri's up next. I bet her talent's hot.

238. Four score and seven years ago,

239. our fathers brought forth on this continent

240. a new nation, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition

241. that all men are created...

242. Go, Lincoln!

243. Yeah!

244. Where's John Wilkes Booth when you need him?

245. Thank you, Capri Davis. Okay.

246. Now, ladies and gentlemen,

247. our second of our three finalists, Miss London Tipton.

248. Whoo!

249. Hi, my talent...

250. is shopping.

251. I can order up anything and have it show up in seconds.

252. What color boots should I buy, Emcee Moseby?

253. Oh, uh, pink with red hearts.

254. Pink boots with red hearts, please.

255. Okay, London, I really don't think that the—

256. That girl has mad shopping skills.

257. Come on, let's hear it for her. Whoo!

258. Whoo, London!

259. Now, please welcome, Bailey Pickett.

260. Hi, y'all. For my talent, I'm gonna sing a little song I wrote.

261. Whoo!

262. Well, I think we have an obvious winner.

263. - Capri. - London.

264. Bailey.

265. - No, that doesn't work at all.

266. Zip, zip, zip!

267. What is going on? Have you picked a winner?

268. - No, we're deadlocked. - Plus, we can't agree.

269. Ladies and gentlemen, it appears that we have a three-way tie.

270. So we will select a winner

271. by your applause, okay? Come on up, ladies.

272. Here we go. Okay, all right.

273. Now, let's hear it for Capri.

274. Whoo! The beard was a nice touch.

275. Next up, London!

276. - Whoo, London, whoo!

277. - Drop $10,000 in cash.

278. Very subtle, London.

279. Hey, hey!

280. Are you guys going to vote for a girl who bribed you with money?

281. Yeah!

282. Well, now that you've got your money, you can vote for the most brilliant,

283. the most beautiful and the most talented contestant.

284. Oh, thank you, Cody.

285. I was talking about Bailey.

286. Bailey, Bailey, Bailey,

287. Bailey, Bailey.

288. There you have it. The new Miss Tipton is Bailey Pickett.

289. What? Oh, this is an outrage!

290. - Boys, arm the bombs. - Oh!

291. Belay that order!

292. You were amazing, Bailey.

293. I guess you were right. You didn't need my coaching after all.

294. No, I just needed to believe in myself.

295. But, it sure helped that you came to support me.

296. Aww.

297. What?

298. Really, London?

299. I shop when I'm depressed.

300. Got anything in a 38-short?

301. Oh, thank you.

302. Well, boys, I think your pageant turned out rather well,

303. even if it did start out as a depraved scam to meet girls.

304. Scam?

305. So you faked this whole thing just so you guys could check us out?

306. Sure, now she gets smart.

307. Oh, come on! We didn't even have a swimsuit competition.

308. You know what? You're right.

309. Maybe we should have one now.

310. - Yeah! - All right!

311. I can't believe they're making us do this!

312. It's like we're pieces of meat.

313. Yeah? Well, I'm gonna strut my ham hocks

314. and show them some A-1 prime rib right here!

315. Yeah, yeah— Oh, ow!

316. Just pulled my rump roast.