The Suite Life on Deck 2x11

Directed by Mark Cendrowski

Jordin Sparks comes aboard the S.S. Tipton and Zack, Cody and Marcus try to write a song for her. Meanwhile, as one of London's Yay Me! contest, one of her fans gets to spend a couple days with her on the ship, but London's fan is a little crazy.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. Guys, I just heard the most amazing news.

2. You'll never ever, ever guess what it is, never ever. Guess what!

3. The Swedish bikini team came on board and the lotion boy missed the boat.

4. Why do you always guess that?

5. Because if I say it enough, one day it might really happen.

6. Judging by your level of excitement,

7. I can only assume that botanists have successfully cross-pollinated

8. the rhododendron with the periwinkle, creating the "rhodo-winkle."

9. - Uh, no. - Yes! Then the race is still on.

10. Okay, you guys stink at guessing.

11. - Jordin Sparks is on the boat! - Jordin Sparks?

12. I love her. I voted for her like 100 times on Idol.

13. Oh, Marcus! Jordin Sparks is on the boat.

14. Can you please get me an autograph?

15. - Sparky? - Yeah!

16. No.

17. Well, why not?

18. Well, the last time I saw her, I was hanging out with Fergie and Flo Rida.

19. And now I'm hanging out with... you guys.

20. Miss Sparks, it is such an honor to have you on board.

21. Thank you.

22. And he's embarrassed by us.

23. Thank you so much for doing a couple of concerts for our guests.

24. Well, how could I say no after you sent the flowers,

25. the muffin basket and the toy replica of the S.S. Tipton,

26. which is so awesome in the bathtub by the way.

27. Yes, the toy boat is always a deal-closer.

28. Yeah. Plus it'll give me a chance to try out some material for my new album.

29. - There's no better place to be creative - Yes.

30. than a peaceful cruise.

31. Jordin! Jordin!

32. Leave Miss Sparks alone or I will cut you up

33. and throw you out the sewage flap.

34. And I thought Simon was mean.

35. Oh... How many times have I told you

36. to please place the parasailing pamphlets properly in the pamphlet podium?

37. Look, the lobby is the first thing that people see.

38. We must maintain an aura of dignity.

39. London, what are you doing?

40. I had a contest on "Yay Me! Starring London Tipton"

41. for a viewer to come on the ship for a week and be best friends with me.

42. Here. You're in charge of confetti.

43. One problem. I have no idea what this girl looks like.

44. I'm gonna go out on a limb here

45. and say it's the girl wearing the t-shirt that says "Yay me!"

46. London! I'm so excited to meet you!

47. I know! I'm jealous of you getting to meet me for the first time.

48. Air kiss!

49. Ah! What the heck? You can hug me.

50. Okay, long enough.

51. Hit it, confetti man.

52. This is so amazing.

53. - Seeing Jordin Sparks in concert? - No, sitting next to you.

54. Marcus, if you'd been willing to talk to Jordin

55. and pull a few strings, we could've gotten front-row seats.

56. The only string I'm pulling is this one.

57. Ladies and gentlemen.

58. We have a very special guest performer tonight

59. and I know you are as excited as I am.

60. Well, maybe not quite as excited because I can't feel my feet.

61. Though they do tend

62. - to swell up in the humidity. - Jordin Sparks!

63. Okay! Jordin Sparks!

64. What?

65. No, no, no.

66. Sodium chloride is an ionic compound,

67. not a covalent compound.

68. "Call publisher."

69. - Cody, I need your help! - I'm doing homework.

70. Yeah, but this could actually get us ahead in life.

71. Let's write a song for Jordin Sparks' new album.

72. You can't just sit down and write a hit song.

73. Why not? you write all those sappy poems to Bailey.

74. Put one to music and bam, insta-hit!

75. Bailey does love my poems.

76. And so will all the other women in the world for a $1.29 download.

77. - You're right. I'm in. - Let's do it.

78. Okay.

79. Hey, I got it.

80. A love song.

81. - Oh, good idea. - All right.

82. You noodle with that and I'll go get us some snacks.

83. What the feathers?

84. No, no, no.

85. Sodium chloride is an ionic compound, not a covalent compound.

86. "Call publisher."

87. Alyssa, welcome to my cabin.

88. No way! It's just how it looks on your show.

89. And there's your goofy sidekick Bailey!

90. So, I guess you're the lucky winner of London's contest.

91. Where'd you go?

92. It wasn't luck.

93. I filled out the entry form and clicked submit and back, submit and back,

94. submit and back for nine days straight.

95. I'm London's number-one fan.

96. I love her. I'm her every year for Halloween.

97. No way! I'm me every year too.

98. What was that for?

99. I said I was getting you a snack.

100. That was yesterday.

101. There was a long line.

102. So, how are we doing on our song?

103. We are just about done.

104. I love collaborating with you.

105. Let me hear it.

106. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa.

107. Hypovolemia?

108. Yeah, it's what happens when your blood gets dehydrated.

109. If not treated properly, your eyes can crust over and fall out of your head.

110. Yeah.

111. I'm thinking we should get a professional to look at this.

112. You mean a hematologist?

113. No, I mean a musician.

114. Maybe we should run this past Marcus.

115. - Why? - Because he's won a Grammy,

116. and you rhymed "windy" with "kidney."

117. I'll have the ahi tuna salad, dressing on the side, no chives, extra ginger.

118. And I'll have the ahi tuna salad,

119. dressing on the side, no chives, extra ginger.

120. Wow, we have the same taste!

121. We have so much in common, except I'm way richer than you.

122. I'm sorry, but we just served the last tuna to that gentlemen.

123. Aww! I was so looking forward to it.

124. I got this, London.

125. Do you know who this is?

126. It's London Tipton.

127. And if London Tipton wants tuna,

128. she gets tuna!

129. But we're out.

130. If there's anything else on the menu, I'd—

131. What menu?

132. She wants tuna.

133. - But we're ou— - Don't say "out"!

134. You know, the flounder is extremely—

135. Why are you still here?

136. Because we're out of tuna! Please don't hurt me.

137. - Excuse me, London. - Okay, dear.

138. Hey, London.

139. Why is your little fan chasing that waiter?

140. Ah, she's just trying to get my order.

141. Isn't she sweet?

142. Okay, that girl is more unbalanced than a three-legged pig on a frozen pond.

143. Bailey, Bailey, Bailey. You're just jealous because you don't have a fan

144. who loves you as much as Alyssa loves me.

145. She's like a little angel.

146. Get. Me. That. Tuna!

147. Must be one of them angry angels.

148. 10-hut! Tuna, now!

149. Bon appétit!

150. Oh. Wait— There's a bite taken out of this.

151. - Oh, just a moment. - Okay.

152. Spit. It. Out!

153. Thank you.

154. So what did you think?

155. Not bad, a couple of minor comments.

156. - I'm all ears. - Well, your hook is weak,

157. the melody is off and the tempo is slower than a snail with a limp.

158. - "Minor comments"? - Remember, all ears.

159. Happy ears.

160. Look, a hit song needs to reach out and grab people by the gut, like, um...

161. That's not music.

162. That's the sound the garbage disposal makes when there's a spoon in it.

163. You're telling me about music?

164. It just so happens that I've played the French horn since kindergarten.

165. I think I know what I'm talking about.

166. I won a Grammy and played Madison Square Garden. I win.

167. Guys, guys, guys.

168. Come on. It's just some creative differences.

169. And that's to be expected.

170. And, Cody, you can't be so defensive.

171. I'm not being so defensive.

172. I just don't want to take advice about the music biz

173. from someone who got booted out of it.

174. Or should I say "boo-da boo-da bapped" out of it?

175. I'm gonna boo-da boo-da bap you upside the head!

176. - Okay! - Hey, hey, hey! You know—

177. You know, hearing it this much, it is kinda catchy.

178. Whose side are you on?

179. - Whichever side will make me money. - Well, I'm not going to sell out.

180. With your talent, you won't sell anything.

181. This from the brilliant mind behind "Retainer Baby."

182. That song went triple-platinum.

183. Because they gave it out in cereal boxes!

184. - Guys, guys! I'm out of here!

185. Well, good session! Same time tomorrow. Ha-ha.

186. "Dear Marcus,

187. I overreacted.

188. Make our song a hit.

189. Cody."

190. Hey, what are you doing?

191. Aw, busted.

192. I was trying to sneak a carob-covered kiwi from your fruit basket.

193. I can't believe Cody sent this.

194. Why, is something misspelled?

195. No, he just seemed so mad before. Well, I'm going to go thank him.

196. No, no, no, I think the best way to thank him would be for us

197. to make that song a hit.

198. Starting with that boo-da boo-da bap thing, huh?

199. - Huh? - Oh, yeah, we gotta have a beat.

200. All right, you noodle with that bap-beat while I go get us some snacks.

201. London, time to wake up.

202. Hey, where's Alyssa?

203. Who's Alyssa?

204. - Where's London? - I'm right here, silly. Yay me!

205. Right.

206. You just seem to have lost some weight.

207. And a lot of height.

208. Where are you going?

209. Oh. Heh. Nowhere, London. I'll just be right—

210. I have got to get my own room.

211. Stupid sea school!

212. Here's a thought.

213. How about instead of singing under Jordin's window,

214. you just go in there and give her the song?

215. No!

216. I mean, I never liked it when people shoved their songs at me.

217. - I want the music to speak for itself. - All right.

218. Hit it.

219. What are you doing?

220. We're trying to get Jordin to hear our song.

221. Our song?

222. And by the way,

223. thanks for sending me the fruit basket.

224. - I didn't send you a fruit basket. - But Zack said...

225. Okay, I can explain.

226. Just give me a second to come up with something.

227. Don't bother. I liked it.

228. I did it for the good of the song! Why are you yelling at me?

229. - Wait, you liked it? - Yeah.

230. I liked the hook and the beat. You made it better.

231. Then why am I shouting?

232. - Let's get Jordin to buy this thing. - Boys!

233. Right after we run away from Moseby.

234. My legs may be short, but I move like the wind.

235. London!

236. Bailey! Thank goodness you're here.

237. Alyssa tricked me into the closet.

238. - How did she trick you? - She said, "Get in the closet!"

239. And I fell for it.

240. You know, I'm starting to think that Alyssa's a little creepy.

241. Come on.

242. Let's go, amigos.

243. Now, we have to get to Jordin before the show starts.

244. A mariachi band. Will you play me a song?

245. - No. - I'll give you each $100.

246. Uno, dos, tres!

247. What are you three doing here?

248. - Uh— - You're supposed to be on the fiesta deck!

249. Without you, it's just... deck.

250. Ladies and gentlemen, Jordin Sparks!

251. Thank you, S.S. Tipton. You guys rock and not just because you're on a boat.

252. You guys are gonna clap no matter what I say, aren't you?

253. Jordin, I love you!

254. Great, we missed her.

255. No, that's okay. We'll play it for her after the show.

256. I'd like to start with a new song.

257. I'm not really sure who wrote it, but as soon as I perform it,

258. maybe the writer will come forward?

259. Cody, your mustache is crooked.

260. - It's fine, just— - Guys! Guys! Guys!

261. Listen. Jordin is singing our song.

262. - She is! - That's right.

263. Shh, silencio!

264. No, no, no, not you!

265. - Arrest her! - Oh, please, I wasn't singing that bad.

266. Come on!

267. She locked me in a closet and is trying to steal my astrology!

268. - Identity. - That too!

269. Arrest her! I'm London Tipton and she's trying to steal my identity.

270. Okay, what is going on here?

271. I'm London Tipton! Oh, no, you're not! I am!

272. Prove it. When's your birthday?

273. Uh...

274. Really, London?

275. Security!

276. I'm gonna call daddy and get you all fired.

277. Hey, you gotta admire her chutzpah.

278. Jordin!

279. All right, would you three get down from there?

280. Does anyone speak Spanish?

281. Jordin, that's our song.

282. You guys wrote this song?

283. - Yes. - Yes.

284. Sí.

285. Marcus?

286. Marcus Little? What are you doing playing in a mariachi band?

287. I'm not. This is just a disguise.

288. Although, the tips are fantastic.

289. Well, listen, I emailed you a whole bunch of times and I never heard anything back.

290. Yeah, sorry. I guess after my record label dumped me,

291. I was just a little embarrassed.

292. Well, you shouldn't be. We're still friends.

293. And I really do love the song you guys wrote.

294. Thanks.

295. So let's talk about putting it on my new album.

296. - Yes! - And it's gonna be very special

297. because I'm going to donate all the proceeds to charity.

298. No!

299. Moseby, thanks again for taking care of my Alyssa problem.

300. Glad I could help. I had a nice, long chat with her

301. and I'm sure she understands me completely.

302. - Good day. - Good day?

303. How many times have I told you

304. to place the parasailing pamphlets properly in the pamphlet podium?

305. Anyway, Moseby, thanks again for taking care of my Alyssa problem.

306. My pleasure.